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1
00:01:38,114 --> 00:01:40,697
Please don't execute me.
2
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It is such a waste of my lovely woman's body.
3
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I've got years of love making in me.
4
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Why chop off my head when you could...
5
00:01:51,114 --> 00:01:55,198
lift up my dress and look at my front bottom?
6
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Waa! I'm not gonna kill you!
8
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,530
Sir...
9
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I owe you some sex.
10
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Oh...
11
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- Large!
13
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Kevin? >
14
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- Kevin!
15
00:02:26,572 --> 00:02:31,530
- How's your homework going?
- Fine, until you came in. Oh!
16
00:02:31,531 --> 00:02:34,654
Bring this mess down when you come.
17
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,821
I'm not your slave!
18
00:02:37,822 --> 00:02:40,863
Don't talk to your mother like that.
19
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Don't talk to your mother like that!
21
00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:53,363
Oh...
22
00:02:53,364 --> 00:02:56,030
So unfair...
23
00:03:05,363 --> 00:03:08,821
"Dear diary. Sorry I've never written in you.
24
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:11,905
"I have higher things on my mind."
25
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:20,946
"If I did write down my thoughts, you would be a bestseller.
26
00:03:20,947 --> 00:03:24,946
"I am a teenage genius, unrecognised by the world.
27
00:03:24,947 --> 00:03:30,029
"The only person who understands me is my best friend Perry."
28
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:31,695
All right, Kevin.
29
00:03:31,696 --> 00:03:35,820
"He is joyful in his understanding of my wisdom."
30
00:03:35,821 --> 00:03:38,029
Your jacket's inside out.
31
00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:42,612
I do know. I don't conform to conventional dress patterns.
32
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:46,779
Until Perry met me, he was but a humble peasant,
33
0:03:46,780 --> 00:03:49,946
"but now he is on top.
34
00:03:53,905 --> 00:03:55,945
Respect.
35
0:03:55,946 --> 00:04:00,737
We are only free to express our philosophy through our music.
36
00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:02,612
All I wanna do, is do it
37
00:04:02,613 --> 00:04:04,070
Big girl, big girl
38
00:04:04,071 --> 00:04:05,653
All I wanna do, is do it
39
00:04:05,654 --> 00:04:07,070
Big girl, big girl
40
00:04:07,071 --> 00:04:09,237
All I wanna do is do it
41
00:04:09,238 --> 00:04:10,612
Big girl, big girl
42
00:04:10,613 --> 00:04:13,029
Big girl, big girl, big girl... #
43
00:04:17,988 --> 00:04:20,529
Kevin! Turn it down!
45
00:04:29,904 --> 00:04:35,486
When we are top DJs, my senile parents will surely eat their pants.
46
00:04:35,487 --> 00:04:40,070
- You're a genius, darling!
- You certainly proved us wrong.
47
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,987
I sure did. Huh!
48
00:04:44,987 --> 00:04:46,986
Thanks. Will you have sex with me?
49
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,736
OK.
50
00:04:49,737 --> 00:04:52,946
- Do me!
51
00:04:55,362 --> 00:05:00,319
Because, dear diary, there is pain behind my genius.
52
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,319
My teenage heart is broken.
53
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,361
I've been trying to get sex for three bloody years,
54
00:05:07,362 --> 00:05:11,528
but no girl has yet let me go the whole way.
59
00:05:54,112 --> 00:05:56,652
- You got it?
- Yeah.
60
00:05:56,653 --> 00:06:00,528
- I get the goods, you give him that.
- Go, go, go.
61
00:06:06,236 --> 00:06:07,570
Go, go, go.
62
00:06:13,945 --> 00:06:16,153
This, please.
64
00:06:31,028 --> 00:06:33,153
£3.99, please.
65
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:37,403
Thank you!
67
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:52,318
You were scared of the police.
68
00:06:52,319 --> 00:06:55,401
- I ain't.
- They're scared of me.
69
00:06:55,402 --> 00:06:59,026
- I rule this area. I'm hard.
- There's your dad.
71
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:01,944
No!
72
00:07:11,152 --> 00:07:12,943
Are you all right, Kevin?
73
00:07:12,944 --> 00:07:16,485
Oh... Hi, Dad. Yeah, fine, thanks.
74
00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:18,193
Why are you lying there?
75
00:07:18,194 --> 00:07:21,444
I'm a bit tired. I need a sleep.
76
00:07:22,444 --> 00:07:25,819
We're exhausted, Mr Porno P Patterson.
77
00:07:27,319 --> 00:07:28,694
Yawn.
78
00:07:34,735 --> 00:07:37,901
"Debbie from London loves nightclubs.
79
00:07:37,902 --> 00:07:42,526
"I go to Ibiza every year for the nightclubs and the carefree sex.
80
00:07:42,527 --> 00:07:48,276
"It's fantastic. Everyone has sex with everyone else. It is so horny."
81
00:07:48,277 --> 00:07:50,817
- I love her, Kevin.
- That's it!
82
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,234
What?
83
00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:55,609
We are DJs. Where do musicians go for the summer?
84
00:07:55,610 --> 00:07:56,817
Ibiza.
85
00:07:56,818 --> 00:08:01,442
And all girls who go to Ibiza have sex with anyone, especially musicians.
86
00:08:01,443 --> 00:08:04,526
So where are we going to go?
87
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:09,735
Ibiza? What, you think you deserve to go to Ibiza after this?
89
00:08:12,235 --> 00:08:16,984
It's worse than we expected. "Kevin lacks application.
90
00:08:16,985 --> 00:08:18,942
- He's still a virgin...
- What?
91
00:08:18,943 --> 00:08:24,275
He's still emerging from a rebellious phase that shows no sign of ending.
92
00:08:24,276 --> 00:08:27,650
- Huh!
- It's just awful, isn't it?
93
00:08:27,651 --> 00:08:31,442
What have you got to say for yourself?
94
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:35,025
So can we go to Ibiza?
95
00:08:35,026 --> 00:08:37,942
I think I've answered that! No!
96
00:08:37,943 --> 00:08:40,984
Oh! That is so unfair!
97
00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:43,484
Mum...
98
00:08:43,485 --> 00:08:45,275
- Perhaps if...
- I said no!
100
00:08:47,234 --> 00:08:52,442
- What your father says, goes.
- I can't take any more!
101
00:08:52,443 --> 00:08:58,608
I'm adopted! My real parents couldn't possibly treat me like this!
102
00:08:58,609 --> 00:09:00,734
I hate you!
103
00:09:01,776 --> 00:09:02,942
Excuse me...
104
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:06,608
I'm running away! Goodbye for ever!
105
00:09:06,609 --> 00:09:10,233
You leave no room to compromise.
106
00:09:10,234 --> 00:09:14,650
How can you compromise with that?
He has nothing to look forward to!
107
00:09:14,651 --> 00:09:19,108
He deserves it.
He'll be impossible all holiday!
108
00:09:19,109 --> 00:09:24,026
Excuse me, Mr and Mrs Patterson... Could I have a jam sandwich?
111
00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:55,566
Kevin left us a note,
112
00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:57,941
to remember him by.
113
00:09:57,942 --> 00:10:02,941
It is typical of the Kevin we all knew,
114
00:10:02,942 --> 00:10:05,274
loved,
115
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:08,150
and in many cases, did sex with.
116
00:10:13,317 --> 00:10:17,816
I'm killing myself because I'm too good for this world.
117
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:22,317
A prophet is never understood in his own land, isn't it?
118
00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:27,524
"Soft friends, don't be sad.
119
00:10:27,525 --> 00:10:32,524
I've gone to a better place, where you never have to tidy your room,
120
00:10:32,525 --> 00:10:37,483
a place where your parents buy you new Nike shoes every week.
121
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:44,274
I didn't mean to cause you any pain, Mum...
122
00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:47,941
but you shouldn't have made me wash.
123
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,691
Kevin!
124
00:10:52,691 --> 00:10:54,857
Kevin!
125
00:10:54,858 --> 00:10:59,107
Yeah. I'm dead now. Yeah.
126
00:10:59,108 --> 00:11:01,233
Oh, Kevin!
127
00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:05,358
Kevin, dinner is ready!
130
00:11:16,274 --> 00:11:20,773
How nice you've come back. We thought you'd gone for ever.
132
00:11:27,399 --> 00:11:31,523
We've decided... that you can both go to Ibiza.
133
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,815
Come on!
134
00:11:32,816 --> 00:11:36,440
Provided you get a job to pay for it.
135
00:11:36,441 --> 00:11:40,773
What are you talking about? YOU pay for my holidays.
136
00:11:40,774 --> 00:11:43,648
That's what parents are for!
137
00:11:43,649 --> 00:11:48,440
Our lives are about more than that.
Don't be so ridiculous.
138
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:51,773
Pass the salt, please, Kevin.
139
00:11:51,774 --> 00:11:54,315
I am not your slave!
140
00:11:54,316 --> 00:11:57,940
This is what happens when you compromise!
141
00:11:57,941 --> 00:12:02,731
Do you know what the trouble with you two is? You're so alike!
142
00:12:02,732 --> 00:12:05,774
What?! That is so unfair!
143
00:12:15,232 --> 00:12:19,439
You want ME to give YOU a job?
Yeah.
144
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:20,523
Please.
145
00:12:20,524 --> 00:12:23,314
Do you know the store?
Yeah.
146
00:12:23,315 --> 00:12:25,064
Where do you find punk?
147
00:12:25,065 --> 00:12:27,357
On my sheets.
148
00:12:34,190 --> 00:12:36,939
Spunk.
150
00:12:41,273 --> 00:12:42,689
Come on!
151
00:12:42,690 --> 00:12:46,315
Come on! Come on!
152
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:51,272
Say ooh la la, say zoom
153
00:12:51,273 --> 00:12:52,439
Come on! Come on!
154
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,147
Say ooh la la, say zoom
155
00:12:55,148 --> 00:12:56,481
Come on! Come on!
156
00:12:56,482 --> 00:12:58,731
Say ooh la la...
157
00:12:58,732 --> 00:13:00,981
Finished!
158
00:13:00,982 --> 00:13:05,398
Well done, boys. Here's one for you and one for you.
159
00:13:07,981 --> 00:13:10,981
Thank you.
Thank you.
160
00:13:14,731 --> 00:13:17,522
We're not cut out for manual work.
161
00:13:17,523 --> 00:13:19,855
Intellectuals aren't.
162
00:13:19,856 --> 00:13:23,147
I've got too many great thoughts...
Mopeds!
163
00:13:23,148 --> 00:13:24,772
Cider!
Party!
164
00:13:24,773 --> 00:13:28,315
I can see her bra!
Bra? Where? Oh, yeah!
166
00:13:33,148 --> 00:13:34,730
Dogman and the king of snakes
167
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,730
King of snakes, king of snakes
168
00:13:36,731 --> 00:13:38,355
Dogman and the king of snakes
169
00:13:38,356 --> 00:13:40,022
King of snakes
170
00:13:40,023 --> 00:13:41,647
Dogman and the king of snakes
171
00:13:41,648 --> 00:13:43,855
King of snakes, king of snakes
172
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,230
24 hours with the king of snakes
173
00:13:45,231 --> 00:13:46,480
Snake, snake, snake
174
00:13:46,481 --> 00:13:48,647
Snake, snake, snake, snake
175
00:13:48,648 --> 00:13:50,981
Snake, snake, snake, snake... #
176
00:14:21,022 --> 00:14:23,563
Oh, man...
177
00:14:23,564 --> 00:14:27,022
Oh... Oh, my head...
179
00:14:54,272 --> 00:14:57,147
Oh, hi, baby.
181
00:15:10,813 --> 00:15:14,229
I'm in the mood for love
182
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:18,354
Simply because you're near me
183
00:15:18,355 --> 00:15:22,396
Funny but when you're near me
184
00:15:22,397 --> 00:15:25,563
I'm in the mood for love
185
00:15:26,563 --> 00:15:29,729
Heaven is in your eyes
186
00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:33,146
Bright as the stars we're under
187
00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:36,730
Oh, is it any wonder
188
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:41,104
I'm in the mood for love
189
00:15:41,105 --> 00:15:45,145
Why stop to think of whether
190
00:15:45,146 --> 00:15:48,730
This little dream might fade
191
00:15:49,646 --> 00:15:52,520
We'll put our hearts together
192
00:15:52,521 --> 00:15:56,396
Now we're one, I'm not afraid...
193
00:16:08,646 --> 00:16:09,938
Kevin!
194
00:16:12,229 --> 00:16:14,395
Good morning, Perry.
197
00:16:24,063 --> 00:16:26,311
Did you have sex with her?
Yeah.
198
00:16:26,312 --> 00:16:29,978
You had sex with Sharon?
Only three times.
200
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:40,771
So you've done it with a girl, then?
Yeah. I stuck it up her good.
201
00:16:44,146 --> 00:16:47,395
That mean you don't want to go to Ibiza?
202
00:16:47,396 --> 00:16:51,686
Now you don't need to go to Ibiza for some guaranteed sex.
203
00:16:51,687 --> 00:16:54,645
I'll get some sex here, probably.
204
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:59,811
No, we can still go to Ibiza. I can always do more sex.
205
00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:05,603
Oh. Thanks, Kevin. You're a mate. But how are we going to get the money?
206
00:17:05,604 --> 00:17:08,853
It's all in the mind. We're musicians.
207
00:17:08,854 --> 00:17:12,645
We can earn our money on the street.
208
00:17:24,895 --> 00:17:26,561
All I want to do, is do it
209
00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:28,144
Big girl, big girl
210
00:17:28,145 --> 00:17:29,727
All I want to do is do it
211
00:17:29,728 --> 00:17:31,352
Big girl, big girl
212
00:17:31,353 --> 00:17:32,852
All I want to do is do it
213
00:17:32,853 --> 00:17:35,519
Big girl, big girl, big girl
214
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,978
Big girl, big girl, big girl...
Hey!
215
00:17:38,978 --> 00:17:40,394
I want a word with you.
216
00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:43,602
Oh... Hi, darling. How's it going?
217
00:17:43,603 --> 00:17:47,436
Did you say you had sex with me?
No...
218
00:17:47,437 --> 00:17:50,436
Yeah, you bloody did. Stacey heard you.
219
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,602
No... I didn't.
220
00:17:53,603 --> 00:17:56,894
I wouldn't have sex with you, you sad idiot.
221
00:17:56,895 --> 00:18:01,353
Say anything like that again and I'll smack you! Virgin!
222
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:09,102
You said you had sex with her three times.
223
00:18:09,103 --> 00:18:12,435
Shut up! I'm getting out of here.
224
00:18:12,436 --> 00:18:15,728
This place is full of losers.
225
00:18:19,353 --> 00:18:22,353
Virgins! Virgins!
226
00:18:34,394 --> 00:18:38,060
Girls here don't appreciate our musical genius.
227
00:18:38,061 --> 00:18:41,685
- What we going to do?
- I don't know.
228
00:18:41,686 --> 00:18:45,018
It's all gone wrong.
229
00:18:45,019 --> 00:18:48,102
Registered letter for your father.
230
00:18:48,103 --> 00:18:51,727
Will you sign for it?
Yeah, sure.
231
00:19:01,769 --> 00:19:03,018
Cheers.
232
00:19:03,019 --> 00:19:05,643
Thank you.
233
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:09,144
Perry! We're saved!
234
00:19:10,894 --> 00:19:14,393
We get the money and go to Ibiza. Sorted.
235
00:19:14,394 --> 00:19:18,018
It's your dad's credit card. It's stealing.
236
00:19:18,019 --> 00:19:21,269
We'll go to prison and get raped.
237
00:19:23,185 --> 00:19:25,934
You will. You're small.
238
00:19:25,935 --> 00:19:28,559
I'll be all right.
239
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,352
Virgins!
240
00:19:33,102 --> 00:19:38,059
I'm not staying here. We'll pay him back when we're top musicians.
241
00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:40,810
Are you in or out?
In.
242
00:19:43,352 --> 00:19:46,268
Stop your noise, or I'll blow your face off
243
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:49,184
You two! Move, now! Move!
244
00:19:49,185 --> 00:19:52,351
Put your hands up! Keep your mouths shut!
245
00:19:52,352 --> 00:19:55,852
- You! Stupid! Sit down and put your hands up.
246
00:19:56,393 --> 00:19:59,310
You, fill that up.
248
00:20:12,685 --> 00:20:15,018
Money, now. Come on!
249
00:20:36,393 --> 00:20:41,017
On behalf of the bank, thank you. Enjoy that reward money.
250
00:20:41,018 --> 00:20:43,100
Thank you.
251
00:20:43,101 --> 00:20:46,433
If you want a job, give me a ring.
252
00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:51,433
Banking offers many exciting opportunities for virgins like you.
253
00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:53,933
Thank you. Thank you. Eh?
254
00:20:53,934 --> 00:20:56,767
We're very proud of you.
255
00:20:56,768 --> 00:21:00,433
It was really public spirited.
Kevin...
256
00:21:00,434 --> 00:21:04,392
and public spirited. Never thought I'd hear those words.
258
00:21:05,851 --> 00:21:08,934
We've got a present for you.
259
00:21:13,892 --> 00:21:15,558
Thank Dad.
260
00:21:15,559 --> 00:21:16,808
What?
261
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:20,391
He's paid for our tickets.
So you can spend your reward money on your holiday
262
00:21:20,392 --> 00:21:23,183
What do you mean, "our tickets"?
263
00:21:23,184 --> 00:21:26,350
We're coming, too.
265
00:21:30,351 --> 00:21:34,808
You didn't think you could go on your own?
266
00:21:34,809 --> 00:21:38,601
That is so unfair! Ouch!
267
00:21:42,559 --> 00:21:44,892
It's so unfair...
268
00:21:46,184 --> 00:21:49,516
I'd hate to have my head chopped off.
269
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:53,809
If it was raining, you'd get water in the hole.
You would drown as well
270
00:21:54,809 --> 00:21:56,641
Never mind, Kevin.
271
00:21:56,642 --> 00:21:58,724
Those bastards!
272
00:21:58,725 --> 00:22:06,100
We don't have to stay with them.
If they're paying for the flights, we've got more cash for top gear!
273
00:22:07,434 --> 00:22:09,724
Perry, you're right.
274
00:22:09,725 --> 00:22:11,933
Let us prepare.
275
00:22:19,850 --> 00:22:22,767
All I wanna do, is do it...
276
00:22:34,225 --> 00:22:35,517
Big girl...
277
00:23:38,016 --> 00:23:41,641
Kevin! Look! The girls of our dreams!
278
00:24:14,807 --> 00:24:16,681
Boys!
279
00:24:16,682 --> 00:24:19,514
HEY! Over here, now!
Oh!
280
00:24:19,515 --> 00:24:22,723
This is the worst holiday of my life.
281
00:24:22,724 --> 00:24:24,973
Kevin, look!
282
00:24:24,974 --> 00:24:28,390
The superstar DJ Eyeball Paul.
283
00:24:32,765 --> 00:24:35,722
Tits up, Big Baz. 'Having a good time.
284
00:24:35,723 --> 00:24:38,098
All right, Eyeball Paul?
286
00:24:41,265 --> 00:24:44,347
- Wonderful!
- Brilliant!
287
00:24:44,348 --> 00:24:47,597
Be careful with that, you clumsy idiot.
288
00:24:47,598 --> 00:24:52,473
Muff, Wankette, you dirty little nightclub babes, get in.
289
00:24:53,473 --> 00:24:57,014
Kevin, Perry! Hurry up, boys!
290
00:24:57,015 --> 00:25:00,764
Your mummy's calling, little boys. Hurry up.
291
00:25:00,765 --> 00:25:04,556
She is one loudmouth bitch.
292
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,180
Eyeball Paul's such a nice bloke.
293
00:25:08,181 --> 00:25:11,472
He's our new best mate, isn't he?
294
00:25:11,473 --> 00:25:17,597
If we get him to hear our music, he might let us do a set with him.
295
00:25:17,598 --> 00:25:21,347
And have sex with his girls.
Do all the girls we want!
296
00:25:21,348 --> 00:25:24,305
This is the best holiday of my life.
298
00:25:40,681 --> 00:25:44,931
- See you on the beach.
- Huh! I don't think so!
299
00:25:45,598 --> 00:25:50,805
- You've got to go to the beach.
- Yeah...but not your beach.
300
00:25:50,806 --> 00:25:55,055
We are going to the beach you don't even know about,
301
00:25:55,056 --> 00:25:57,847
because you're nearly dead.
302
00:25:57,848 --> 00:26:00,763
Mr Patterson, Mrs Patterson.
303
00:26:00,764 --> 00:26:03,430
How dare you speak like that!
304
00:26:03,431 --> 00:26:05,846
- Kevin!
305
00:26:05,847 --> 00:26:07,972
The beach!
306
00:26:10,472 --> 00:26:13,472
- Kevin, I'm talking to you!
- Wanker!
307
00:26:31,847 --> 00:26:32,971
The beach!
308
00:26:32,972 --> 00:26:35,263
- Wonderful!
- Great!
310
00:26:54,305 --> 00:26:56,679
Hey, Kevin, look!
311
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,721
It's the girls from the airport.
312
00:26:59,722 --> 00:27:02,430
Zoom, zoom, zoom!
313
00:27:06,305 --> 00:27:08,055
Ooh...
314
00:27:21,305 --> 00:27:24,596
Let's stand close to them so they get interested.
315
00:27:24,597 --> 00:27:26,847
Good idea.
316
00:27:28,805 --> 00:27:31,762
- Oh. I'm stuck.
- Me, too.
317
00:27:31,763 --> 00:27:34,930
We'll have to get in the sea to cool off.
320
00:28:11,763 --> 00:28:12,970
Afternoon, ladies.
321
00:28:12,971 --> 00:28:15,262
How's it hanging, ladies?
322
00:28:15,263 --> 00:28:18,803
A lovely afternoon for the beach, eh, ladies?
323
00:28:18,804 --> 00:28:24,886
Yeah, it's me. Yeah, because we're going to El Divino club tonight, yeah?
324
00:28:24,887 --> 00:28:27,845
- Would you like a drink?
- Or the Pasha's club
325
00:28:27,846 --> 00:28:31,928
- Margarita, no salt, isn't it, Gemma?
- It is, Candice.
326
00:28:31,929 --> 00:28:34,720
Because the Ministry band is at Pasha, yeah?
327
00:28:34,721 --> 00:28:37,886
Two margaritas with no salt, please.
328
00:28:37,887 --> 00:28:40,845
Shaken not stirred.
329
00:28:40,846 --> 00:28:43,096
Or the Man Mission club.
330
00:28:44,429 --> 00:28:48,595
- We might go to the Man Mission tonight.
- Or the Paradise.
331
00:28:48,596 --> 00:28:51,220
Or we might go to Paradise.
332
00:28:51,221 --> 00:28:53,053
- Or Priviledge.
- Or Privilegde.
333
00:28:53,054 --> 00:28:56,386
- Or Amnesia.
- Or Amnesia.
334
00:28:56,387 --> 00:28:59,408
Because the tunes there are excellent...
336
00:29:04,179 --> 00:29:05,386
Ladies.
337
00:29:05,387 --> 00:29:09,512
Cheers, waiter. Keep the change.
338
00:29:15,970 --> 00:29:19,678
Very lovely ladies, aren't they?
Very lovely.
339
00:29:19,679 --> 00:29:24,094
What's my chubby babe called?
Gemma. Mine's Candice.
340
00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:28,969
Gemma's got a lovely personality.
Candice is so interesting.
341
00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:31,719
I think they love us, Kevin.
343
00:29:38,012 --> 00:29:39,719
The evening begins.
344
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:44,012
Superstar musicians Kevin and Perry hit the town.
345
00:29:47,012 --> 00:29:50,261
Look, yeah. Tranvestites!
346
00:29:50,262 --> 00:29:52,552
Wooh!
347
00:29:52,553 --> 00:29:55,635
What the bloody hell's that?
348
00:29:55,636 --> 00:29:57,761
Germans!
349
00:30:06,595 --> 00:30:09,135
Here, Kevin, look.
350
00:30:09,136 --> 00:30:15,469
Tonight Gemma is going to see what is down my trousers.
351
00:30:15,470 --> 00:30:20,177
What is down my trousers? Would you like a look?
352
00:30:20,178 --> 00:30:24,177
What is the matter?
353
00:30:24,178 --> 00:30:26,635
Don't tell me that it doesn't hurt...
354
00:30:26,636 --> 00:30:31,511
- Gemma! Lick my lurve plank. Mmm!
355
00:30:33,761 --> 00:30:36,886
Candice, suck my candy.
356
00:30:39,053 --> 00:30:40,968
Oh, look - lovers.
361
00:30:59,052 --> 00:31:01,219
Isn't this fun?
362
00:31:03,052 --> 00:31:05,718
Now, what would you boys like?
363
00:31:05,719 --> 00:31:08,843
I am not hungry.
Come on, Son.
364
00:31:08,844 --> 00:31:12,968
You'll need energy if you want to go dancing at the Disco.
366
00:31:16,386 --> 00:31:19,676
We'll order for everybody, shall we?
Good idea.
372
00:31:39,094 --> 00:31:42,094
The table's a bit wobbly.
373
00:31:43,177 --> 00:31:47,301
We need a wedge. Pass me that beer mat, sexy pants.
374
00:31:47,302 --> 00:31:48,885
Oh, for God's sake!
375
00:31:52,218 --> 00:31:54,760
Goodnight, Mrs Patterson.
376
00:32:04,510 --> 00:32:08,884
What a couple of wankers!
Yeah, we are, ain't we?
377
00:32:08,885 --> 00:32:13,009
No, my parents!
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
379
00:32:24,426 --> 00:32:27,050
Wonderful!
Exciting!
380
00:32:27,051 --> 00:32:28,718
Large!
381
00:32:32,218 --> 00:32:34,551
Look! Eyeball Paul!
382
00:32:40,801 --> 00:32:44,051
Come on, Big Baz. Shift, you fat tart.
383
00:32:46,134 --> 00:32:47,592
All right, Eyeball Paul!
384
00:32:47,593 --> 00:32:50,675
It's the little wankers from the airport.
386
00:32:55,843 --> 00:32:59,383
- Are you here tonight?
- How's your mummy, Ginger Pubic Hair?
387
00:32:59,384 --> 00:33:02,676
She's a bitch!
388
00:33:04,051 --> 00:33:07,426
Don't stand there. Help him.
389
00:33:08,634 --> 00:33:11,758
Thanks very much.
Ginger Pubic Hair!
390
00:33:11,759 --> 00:33:14,467
And you, Sad Act.
391
00:33:25,342 --> 00:33:26,508
Ladies.
392
00:33:26,509 --> 00:33:28,551
Ladies.
393
00:33:29,634 --> 00:33:31,591
Eyeball Paul?
394
00:33:31,592 --> 00:33:35,216
What do you want?
We done some music of our own.
395
00:33:35,217 --> 00:33:38,258
What, you and Sad Act?
Yeah.
396
00:33:38,259 --> 00:33:43,716
I don't suppose we could play them for you some time? No? All right, then.
397
00:33:43,717 --> 00:33:46,466
So you and your brother are musicians?
Yeah.
398
00:33:46,467 --> 00:33:49,758
What tunes you got? What beats are you into?
399
00:33:49,759 --> 00:33:51,341
Well
400
00:33:51,342 --> 00:33:52,591
House or garage?
401
00:33:52,592 --> 00:33:55,466
House...
402
00:33:55,467 --> 00:33:58,508
Acid house or pumping house?
403
00:33:58,509 --> 00:34:00,675
Er... Pumping house?
404
00:34:03,634 --> 00:34:07,300
Balearic pumping or commercial pumping?
405
00:34:07,301 --> 00:34:08,467
Balearic pumping.
406
00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:13,466
Sash or Chicane?
Sash!
408
00:34:17,592 --> 00:34:21,592
Boys, these wankers are alright!
410
00:34:27,383 --> 00:34:32,050
Yeah, I'll hear your music. My home tomorrow.
411
00:34:33,217 --> 00:34:36,674
Be there.
Oh!
412
00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:39,215
Fuck off!
413
00:34:39,216 --> 00:34:41,882
Thanks, Eyeball Paul.
Thank you.
414
00:34:41,883 --> 00:34:46,549
Oh, he's such a nice bloke.
Brilliant. We're gonna be DJs!
416
00:35:48,257 --> 00:35:50,131
Sorry, girls.
417
00:35:50,132 --> 00:35:52,631
No monsters.
418
00:35:52,632 --> 00:35:56,090
Beautiful people can pass.
419
00:35:56,091 --> 00:35:58,673
But monsters - no.
420
00:35:58,674 --> 00:36:00,631
Do you understand?
421
00:36:00,632 --> 00:36:05,840
Look. Your faces offend my mirror.
422
00:36:08,257 --> 00:36:11,590
Go on. Go on.
423
00:36:16,215 --> 00:36:20,424
Because I didn't want to go, anyway.
Yeah, me, neither.
424
00:36:21,924 --> 00:36:26,214
Maybe tomorrow, I'm going to have a makeover with Boots beauty products.
425
00:36:26,215 --> 00:36:27,631
Yeah, and me.
426
00:36:27,632 --> 00:36:32,798
Those boys can get us in, because they're mates with Eyeball Paul, isn't it?
427
00:36:32,799 --> 00:36:34,797
Yeah. Best mates.
429
00:37:37,589 --> 00:37:40,610
Oh, man, that was exciting.
430
00:37:40,611 --> 00:37:42,088
Eyeball Paul plays powerful tunes.
431
00:37:42,089 --> 00:37:47,005
What happened to our ladies?
You've got to be special to get in.
432
00:37:47,006 --> 00:37:51,338
We're gonna be loved DJs.
We're having it all!
433
00:37:51,339 --> 00:37:54,213
We've been up all night!
We achieved it!
434
00:37:54,214 --> 00:37:58,505
If we get the girls in, we'll be up all night having sex...
435
00:37:58,506 --> 00:38:02,171
Oh, my God! Hello, Perry.
437
00:38:04,881 --> 00:38:07,963
- Hello, darling.
- Had a good night?
438
00:38:07,964 --> 00:38:10,631
You are disgusting!
439
00:38:12,464 --> 00:38:15,547
Mrs Patterson, you cheeky girl.
441
00:38:30,339 --> 00:38:34,713
Your mum and dad were doing it.
That is disgusting!
442
00:38:34,714 --> 00:38:39,005
They do not do it. They've only ever done it once.
443
00:38:41,047 --> 00:38:44,171
Sorry, darling, we'll have to do it.
444
00:38:44,172 --> 00:38:47,004
Do it? What a revolting thought.
445
00:38:47,005 --> 00:38:51,671
It's the only way if you're to have the world's greatest DJ.
446
00:38:51,672 --> 00:38:54,505
I'll turn out the light.
447
00:38:56,464 --> 00:38:58,880
Ouch!
Sorry.
448
00:39:02,713 --> 00:39:05,755
Thank God that's over.
Never again.
450
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:14,505
What's up, Kevin?
I just had a revolting thought.
451
00:39:21,047 --> 00:39:24,671
We'll be doing that with Candice and Gemma.
452
00:39:24,672 --> 00:39:29,379
Oh! Oh!
We'll be doing what they're doing.
453
00:39:29,380 --> 00:39:31,462
Oh, Ray!
454
00:39:31,463 --> 00:39:33,587
Won't we, Kevin?
455
00:39:33,588 --> 00:39:36,170
Oh, Ray! Oh! Oh!
456
00:39:36,171 --> 00:39:37,712
Won't we, Kevin?
457
00:39:37,713 --> 00:39:40,254
Oh! Oh!
458
00:39:40,255 --> 00:39:41,545
Won't we, Kevin?
459
00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:44,088
Oh! Oh, Ray!
460
00:39:45,088 --> 00:39:46,463
Won't we, Kevin?
461
00:39:46,464 --> 00:39:47,587
Doing what?
462
00:39:47,588 --> 00:39:51,587
Having sex, like your parents.
They are not having sex.
463
00:39:51,588 --> 00:39:54,295
LOUD BANGING AND SCREAMING
465
00:39:55,629 --> 00:39:58,128
SCREAMING AND GROANING
466
00:39:58,129 --> 00:40:00,295
GROWLING
467
00:40:00,296 --> 00:40:03,587
And maybe
468
00:40:03,588 --> 00:40:05,670
You're gonna be the one...
469
00:40:05,671 --> 00:40:07,753
That saves me...
470
00:40:07,754 --> 00:40:10,253
And after all...
471
00:40:10,254 --> 00:40:12,879
You're my Wonderwall
472
00:40:14,546 --> 00:40:17,253
Never ever sing that again!
473
00:40:17,254 --> 00:40:20,253
We like Oasis.
You do not!
474
00:40:20,254 --> 00:40:23,921
You're all saggy! You've never heard of Oasis!
475
00:40:26,296 --> 00:40:30,254
Morning, Perry. What's up with Prince Charming?
476
00:40:30,255 --> 00:40:31,754
Mrs Patterson.
477
00:40:34,337 --> 00:40:37,171
Bucks Fizz, Mrs Five Times?
478
00:40:41,296 --> 00:40:43,878
Ooh, Ray!
479
00:40:43,879 --> 00:40:47,004
Shut up, Perry!
Sorry, Kev.
480
00:40:50,296 --> 00:40:52,712
Wonderful!
Exciting!
481
00:40:55,295 --> 00:40:57,545
Come in.
482
00:41:05,545 --> 00:41:09,753
Look who it is. Ginger Pubic hair, and Sad Act.
483
00:41:09,754 --> 00:41:12,170
All right?
Eyeball Paul.
484
00:41:13,504 --> 00:41:15,629
We did a bit of a music mix...
485
00:41:20,378 --> 00:41:22,795
fool!
486
00:41:24,712 --> 00:41:27,294
Gets into your bloodstream quicker.
487
00:41:27,295 --> 00:41:30,377
Wonderful!
Exciting'.
488
00:41:30,378 --> 00:41:31,836
Come on!
489
00:41:31,837 --> 00:41:33,169
You were saying?
490
00:41:33,170 --> 00:41:36,669
Yeah, ... We've did a music mix.
491
00:41:36,670 --> 00:41:42,086
First of all, lads, I thought I might give my bathroom a paint.
492
00:41:42,087 --> 00:41:43,961
Fancy giving us a hand?
493
00:41:43,962 --> 00:41:46,877
Love to!
Sorted.
494
00:41:46,878 --> 00:41:49,960
Brushes are in the kitchen.
495
00:41:49,961 --> 00:41:53,045
Great!
Oh, and lads...
496
00:41:55,711 --> 00:41:59,835
You'll see I've just had a huge shit in the toilet.
497
00:41:59,836 --> 00:42:02,586
You might have to push it down.
498
00:42:04,961 --> 00:42:07,961
No problem. Thanks very much.
499
00:42:16,170 --> 00:42:20,543
Eyeball Paul is so nice letting us do all that work.
500
00:42:20,544 --> 00:42:23,460
Shame we didn't have a toilet brush.
501
00:42:23,461 --> 00:42:26,878
It was so kind to give us these!
502
00:42:27,878 --> 00:42:31,252
Shame his tape machine was broken.
503
00:42:31,253 --> 00:42:36,210
He did say he'd listen tomorrow, when we go to wash his pants.
504
00:42:36,211 --> 00:42:39,335
He's such an exciting person.
505
00:42:39,336 --> 00:42:41,461
Exciting.
Exciting!
507
00:42:59,044 --> 00:43:01,751
I've GOT AN IDEA!
508
00:43:01,752 --> 00:43:06,876
WHAT WE'LL DO IS WALK UP TO THE GIRLS AND IGNORE THEM.
509
00:43:06,877 --> 00:43:09,585
AND THEY'LL BE REALLY SAD.
510
00:43:09,586 --> 00:43:14,043
AND THEN, WE'LL TURN ROUND AND GO, "OH, HELLO, LADIES."
511
00:43:14,044 --> 00:43:17,376
AND THEY'LL BE OVERJOYED.
512
00:43:17,377 --> 00:43:21,001
I LOVE MY BLUBBERING BABY SO MUCH, KEV.
513
00:43:21,002 --> 00:43:24,043
SHE'S GOT LOVELY, BOUNCY BREASTS. LOOK!
516
00:43:32,419 --> 00:43:34,251
WHAT DID YOU STOPP FOR?
517
00:43:34,252 --> 00:43:36,959
I'M HAVING A PISS.
519
00:43:38,335 --> 00:43:41,418
YOU'VE GOT TO PISS IN THE SEA. IT'S THE LAW.
521
00:43:52,418 --> 00:43:55,459
IT'S A FLOATER!
523
00:44:01,002 --> 00:44:03,335
Coming to get you, coming to get you...
524
00:44:15,876 --> 00:44:19,001
Do you think Gemma saw my poo?
525
00:44:20,001 --> 00:44:23,126
I wouldn't mind seeing Gemma's poo.
526
00:44:25,835 --> 00:44:28,584
Candice and Gemma do not poo.
527
00:44:28,585 --> 00:44:31,460
What, like Baby Spice?
528
00:44:34,043 --> 00:44:38,251
Now we'll have to think of something to impress them.
530
00:44:51,584 --> 00:44:54,292
Good afternoon, ladies!
531
00:44:54,293 --> 00:44:56,750
Ladies.
533
00:45:02,001 --> 00:45:06,001
Have you been shopping, ladies?
Lovely afternoon, ladies.
534
00:45:09,834 --> 00:45:12,416
They was impressed.
Definitely.
535
00:45:12,417 --> 00:45:16,041
Candice almost looked at me. She's desperate for it.
536
00:45:16,042 --> 00:45:20,250
Gemma was, too. Definitely, maybe, she's desperate for it.
537
00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:23,000
Desperate for it. Large!
Hello!
538
00:45:23,001 --> 00:45:26,083
Mr and Mrs Patterson.
539
00:45:26,084 --> 00:45:29,126
Let's get ready, Ginger Pubic Hair.
540
00:45:29,127 --> 00:45:30,375
Perry!
Eh?
541
00:45:30,376 --> 00:45:33,417
Don't call Kevin that.
Sorry.
542
00:45:38,001 --> 00:45:40,584
Strict.
543
00:45:41,584 --> 00:45:47,249
They've got to get us in tonight.
Yeah, so we've got to be friendly.
544
00:45:47,250 --> 00:45:51,834
If we ask in a friendly fashion.
Yeah. Nicely and politely.
546
00:45:59,292 --> 00:46:02,208
Oh! Ladies!
Ladies.
547
00:46:02,209 --> 00:46:03,416
Ho ho ho!
548
00:46:03,417 --> 00:46:06,166
Of all the bars in all the world...
549
00:46:06,167 --> 00:46:10,291
Are you going to the Amnesia club tonight?
You can get us in, okay?
550
00:46:10,292 --> 00:46:13,000
Are you deaf or something?
551
00:46:15,750 --> 00:46:22,166
It would be a great pleasure to escort you lady babes to the Amnesia club.
552
00:46:22,167 --> 00:46:25,207
We are mates with Eyeball Paul.
553
00:46:25,208 --> 00:46:26,417
We know!
554
00:46:34,250 --> 00:46:36,791
Well, come on, then!
555
00:46:46,625 --> 00:46:48,332
Wait here!
556
00:46:48,333 --> 00:46:51,499
Sorted!
558
00:47:02,833 --> 00:47:03,915
The look
560
00:47:05,499 --> 00:47:08,248
Of love
561
00:47:08,249 --> 00:47:09,748
Is in your eyes
563
00:47:13,624 --> 00:47:23,166
A look your heart can't disguise
564
00:47:24,999 --> 00:47:31,457
The look of love
565
00:47:31,458 --> 00:47:39,416
Is saying so much more than just words could ever say
566
00:47:43,416 --> 00:47:50,665
And what my heart has heard, well, it takes my breath away
568
00:47:53,249 --> 00:47:55,831
I can hardly wait to hold you
569
00:47:55,832 --> 00:47:58,790
Feel my arms around you
570
00:47:58,791 --> 00:48:02,290
How long I have waited
571
00:48:02,291 --> 00:48:05,123
Waited just to love you
572
00:48:05,124 --> 00:48:06,998
Now that I have found you...
573
00:48:06,999 --> 00:48:10,040
How long have they been?
574
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:14,040
Only four hours.
Not too long.
575
00:48:15,582 --> 00:48:20,665
It's on your face
576
00:48:21,290 --> 00:48:29,040
A look that time can't erase...
577
00:48:30,665 --> 00:48:33,039
Come on, then!
578
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:38,207
You're mine tonight...
579
00:48:41,248 --> 00:48:44,247
Oh, no, sorry, girls.
580
00:48:44,248 --> 00:48:46,582
No monsters.
581
00:48:47,832 --> 00:48:49,706
Look...
582
00:48:49,707 --> 00:48:52,916
Eyeball Paul! How are you mate?
583
00:48:52,917 --> 00:48:54,123
Good.
584
00:48:55,665 --> 00:48:57,707
Good.
586
00:49:21,373 --> 00:49:23,956
What are these?
I don't know.
587
00:49:54,206 --> 00:49:55,289
Ladies.
591
00:50:09,372 --> 00:50:11,081
Sorry, mate.
593
00:50:20,914 --> 00:50:23,372
Good night, ladies.
Good night, ladies.
594
00:50:30,289 --> 00:50:33,288
Good night, man in a suitcase.
595
00:50:33,289 --> 00:50:36,288
Good night, part man part luggage.
596
00:50:36,289 --> 00:50:40,538
Good night, Germans.
Good night, Germans.
600
00:51:34,330 --> 00:51:40,245
Maybe we shouldn't have left. Maybe the girls wouldn't have minded.
601
00:51:40,246 --> 00:51:42,704
They would have minded.
602
00:51:42,705 --> 00:51:47,496
I wouldn't mind Gemma covered in vomit. I'd still have sex with her.
603
00:51:50,455 --> 00:51:54,787
We've still got time. I think they love us.
604
00:51:54,788 --> 00:51:59,287
When Eyeball Paul plays our mix, they'll love us for ever.
605
00:51:59,288 --> 00:52:02,287
Everything's going to be all right, isn't it?
606
00:52:02,288 --> 00:52:04,871
Kevin?
608
00:52:11,788 --> 00:52:14,329
'Oh! Oh!
609
00:52:18,288 --> 00:52:21,036
'Oh! Oh, Ray!
610
00:52:21,038 --> 00:52:24,787
'Oh, Ray! Oh! Oh!
611
00:52:32,079 --> 00:52:35,662
'Oh, Ray! Oh! Oh!'
612
00:52:47,287 --> 00:52:49,746
Go on, Mrs Patterson.
613
00:52:51,787 --> 00:52:54,079
Oh! Oh!
615
00:52:58,870 --> 00:53:01,119
I'm sorry...
616
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,787
I'm so sorry...
617
00:53:08,287 --> 00:53:11,744
Oh! Oh, Ray!
618
00:53:11,745 --> 00:53:13,912
Oh! Oh! Oh, Ray!
620
00:53:31,203 --> 00:53:33,933
How's it going, Sad Act?
621
00:53:33,934 --> 00:53:35,202
Very well, thanks.
622
00:53:35,203 --> 00:53:40,952
Have you got that tape, then?
Yeah. It's in our beach bag.
623
00:53:40,953 --> 00:53:45,327
Don't worry. I'll find it. You carry on scrubbing.
624
00:53:45,328 --> 00:53:47,620
Right.
Thanks.
625
00:53:49,286 --> 00:53:51,411
He's gonna listen to our tape!
627
00:53:59,286 --> 00:54:01,620
All I wanna do is do it...
628
00:54:25,703 --> 00:54:28,827
This is fantastic!
Fantastic!
629
00:54:28,828 --> 00:54:33,661
Tits up! Talk about having it large!
630
00:54:35,411 --> 00:54:37,993
Boys!
Eyeball Paul?
631
00:54:37,994 --> 00:54:41,410
I like the tape.
Yeah?
632
00:54:41,411 --> 00:54:45,868
I thought I might play it again, it's great. Fancy joining me?
633
00:54:45,869 --> 00:54:49,160
Oh, yeah, sure!
Ah ah ah! Finish the floor.
634
00:54:49,161 --> 00:54:51,119
Oh, yeah.
Course.
635
00:55:07,411 --> 00:55:09,368
Finished, Eyeball Paul.
637
00:55:12,202 --> 00:55:14,660
Shit!
638
00:55:15,702 --> 00:55:19,369
Sit yourselves down, lads.
Hello, Big Baz.
639
00:55:20,577 --> 00:55:23,993
All right, lovely ladies?
Watch this.
640
00:55:23,994 --> 00:55:26,493
You might learn a trick or two.
641
00:55:26,494 --> 00:55:29,660
You mean listen.
No. No. Watch.
642
00:55:33,035 --> 00:55:34,784
'Oh...
643
00:55:34,785 --> 00:55:37,159
Oh, Ray! Oh!
645
00:55:40,869 --> 00:55:42,742
Eh?
646
00:55:42,743 --> 00:55:45,201
No.....!
I'm sorry, Kev!
647
00:55:45,202 --> 00:55:48,285
Perry, you bloody pervert!
648
00:55:49,535 --> 00:55:51,326
Can we have our tape back?
649
00:55:51,327 --> 00:55:55,617
She's a randy bitch, your mum, isn't she, eh?
650
00:55:55,618 --> 00:55:58,534
Fantastic tits for an old woman.
651
00:55:58,535 --> 00:56:00,452
No.....!
652
00:56:04,743 --> 00:56:06,742
Kevin!
653
00:56:06,743 --> 00:56:09,617
Give him his tape back, boss.
654
00:56:09,618 --> 00:56:12,200
Shut up, you soft idiot!
655
00:56:12,201 --> 00:56:16,659
Kev! Kev! I'm sorry, mate.
656
00:56:16,660 --> 00:56:22,950
You are not my mate and you are not my fellow DJ! Goodbye for ever!
658
00:56:25,576 --> 00:56:28,992
Kid, what changed your mood
659
00:56:28,993 --> 00:56:32,617
You've gone all sad, so I feel sad too
660
00:56:32,618 --> 00:56:35,200
I think I know...
661
00:56:35,201 --> 00:56:39,493
Some things you never outgrow
662
00:56:41,409 --> 00:56:43,908
You think it's wrong
663
00:56:43,909 --> 00:56:46,743
I can tell you do
664
00:56:48,284 --> 00:56:50,034
How can I explain
665
00:56:51,534 --> 00:56:53,701
You don't want me to...
666
00:57:07,284 --> 00:57:10,116
Kid, my only kid
667
00:57:10,117 --> 00:57:11,991
You look so small
668
00:57:11,992 --> 00:57:13,575
You've gone so quiet
669
00:57:13,576 --> 00:57:17,741
I know you know what I'm about...
670
00:57:17,742 --> 00:57:20,367
Need a hand?
OK.
671
00:57:22,451 --> 00:57:25,116
But you forgive
672
00:57:25,117 --> 00:57:29,616
Though you don't understand
673
00:57:29,617 --> 00:57:32,575
You've turned your head
674
00:57:32,576 --> 00:57:35,033
You've dropped my hand
675
00:57:35,034 --> 00:57:39,116
All my sorrows
676
00:57:39,117 --> 00:57:42,199
All my blues
677
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:48,075
All my sorrows...
680
00:58:14,617 --> 00:58:17,199
What's up, love?
681
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:20,742
I...want...to go home.
682
00:58:21,742 --> 00:58:24,907
Oh, dear. Have you had a row with Perry?
683
00:58:24,908 --> 00:58:28,032
Yeah...
684
00:58:28,033 --> 00:58:31,179
Would you like a cup of tea?
685
00:58:31,180 --> 00:58:32,658
Yes, please, Dad!
686
00:58:35,033 --> 00:58:38,366
Oh, love. Everything will be all right.
687
00:58:40,825 --> 00:58:43,949
I've put the kettle on.
688
00:58:43,950 --> 00:58:46,782
Thanks, Dad.
689
00:58:46,783 --> 00:58:51,490
Tell you what, why don't we go out for a meal? Would you like that?
690
00:58:51,491 --> 00:58:54,199
Yeah.
691
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:57,324
Let's smarten up and go out.
692
00:58:57,325 --> 00:59:00,033
Yeah.
694
00:59:08,533 --> 00:59:12,032
What happened last night was really bad!
695
00:59:12,033 --> 00:59:14,657
What happened?
He got vomited on.
696
00:59:14,658 --> 00:59:17,907
What a bummer.
You all right?
697
00:59:17,908 --> 00:59:22,532
Is he your boyfriend?
No, he's my boyfriend.
698
00:59:22,533 --> 00:59:24,865
Bum boys.
699
00:59:24,866 --> 00:59:27,240
No, gay lovers.
700
00:59:27,241 --> 00:59:30,032
Sorry.
Is that your sand castle?
701
00:59:30,033 --> 00:59:33,948
Yeah... No. I was just helping the little kid.
702
00:59:33,949 --> 00:59:37,324
It's beautiful.
Perry's artistic.
703
00:59:39,616 --> 00:59:42,532
You've got a sensitive nature.
704
00:59:47,699 --> 00:59:49,656
Where's Kevin, is it?
705
00:59:49,657 --> 00:59:51,615
Er... Yeah. I don't know.
706
00:59:51,616 --> 00:59:53,781
He's all right.
707
00:59:53,782 --> 00:59:57,531
We're coming to the nightclub with you tonight, yeah?
708
00:59:57,532 --> 00:59:59,573
Yeah...
709
00:59:59,574 --> 01:00:01,364
Later.
710
01:00:01,365 --> 01:00:03,115
Later.
711
01:00:04,865 --> 01:00:07,407
See you later, big boy.
712
01:00:13,740 --> 01:00:15,448
Where are we going?
713
01:00:15,449 --> 01:00:18,865
I've got to go home. I will see you later.
714
01:00:34,865 --> 01:00:36,156
Hey, Sad Act!
715
01:00:36,157 --> 01:00:39,197
Eyeball Paul.
You forgot this.
716
01:00:39,198 --> 01:00:41,614
And this.
717
01:00:41,615 --> 01:00:43,782
Oh.
718
01:00:46,407 --> 01:00:48,697
Thanks.
I like your music.
719
01:00:48,698 --> 01:00:51,364
Eh?
All I want to do is do it...
720
01:00:51,365 --> 01:00:56,989
It's cool. I might use it in my music tonight. Do you want a lift?
721
01:00:56,990 --> 01:00:59,655
You and Ginger Pubic Hair.
722
01:00:59,656 --> 01:01:01,740
Be here tonight.
723
01:01:03,198 --> 01:01:04,905
Fuck off.
724
01:01:04,906 --> 01:01:07,198
Thank you.
725
01:01:14,573 --> 01:01:17,322
Mr and Mrs Patterson.
726
01:01:17,323 --> 01:01:18,447
Where's Kevin?
727
01:01:18,448 --> 01:01:22,072
He's in the bedroom.
He's quite upset.
728
01:01:22,073 --> 01:01:23,572
You better make up.
729
01:01:23,573 --> 01:01:26,490
Oh... Oh, yeah...
730
01:01:32,948 --> 01:01:35,073
Hello.
731
01:01:43,698 --> 01:01:46,156
Are you all right, Kevin?
732
01:01:49,031 --> 01:01:50,156
Sorry, Kevin.
733
01:02:00,531 --> 01:02:03,197
Thanks, Kevin.
736
01:02:30,780 --> 01:02:33,406
Why have you got a tie on?
737
01:02:33,407 --> 01:02:34,946
I'm going out with my mum and dad.
738
01:02:34,947 --> 01:02:38,154
Did you have a nice afternoon?
No.
739
01:02:38,155 --> 01:02:41,321
How about you?
I built a sand castle.
740
01:02:41,322 --> 01:02:46,904
Candice and Gemma have boyfriends. I saw them in the street.
741
01:02:46,905 --> 01:02:48,988
No, they're bum boys.
742
01:02:48,989 --> 01:02:51,613
What?
I mean gay lovers.
743
01:02:51,614 --> 01:02:52,654
Oh.
744
01:02:52,655 --> 01:02:56,321
I saw them on the beach. They're friends.
745
01:02:56,322 --> 01:02:59,779
Oh.
And Gemma said I was sensitive.
746
01:02:59,780 --> 01:03:05,155
She wanked at me. I mean winked. Candice said you're all right.
747
01:03:06,197 --> 01:03:09,821
Candice?
They want to meet us tonight.
748
01:03:09,822 --> 01:03:11,196
Really.
749
01:03:11,197 --> 01:03:16,155
Oh! And Eyeball Paul gave me this for you.
750
01:03:17,905 --> 01:03:22,237
I'm really sorry, Kevin. I didn't do it on purpose.
751
01:03:22,238 --> 01:03:27,279
I couldn't sleep. I was filming a lizard on a wall.
752
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:31,404
It crawled into your mum and dad's room.
753
01:03:31,405 --> 01:03:34,529
I didn't notice them doing it,
754
01:03:34,530 --> 01:03:39,279
this lizard was so interesting. And I'm really, really sorry.
755
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:43,195
Yeah, OK, OK, OK. You saw Eyeball Paul?
756
01:03:43,196 --> 01:03:46,570
Here, he said our music mix was great.
Really?
757
01:03:46,571 --> 01:03:49,695
He's going to play it tonight!
Whoa!
758
01:03:49,696 --> 01:03:51,904
Yeah, man!
759
01:03:58,863 --> 01:04:01,570
Wonderful!
Exciting!
760
01:04:01,571 --> 01:04:04,195
Are you coming, Perry?
Mr Patterson?
761
01:04:04,196 --> 01:04:05,362
For a meal.
762
01:04:05,363 --> 01:04:07,988
Oh, yeah.
764
01:04:18,529 --> 01:04:20,903
Kevin!
What now?
765
01:04:20,904 --> 01:04:25,238
Pick up the tie and give it to me.
766
01:04:25,239 --> 01:04:27,445
I am not your slave!
See you later!
767
01:04:27,446 --> 01:04:30,071
He's happy.
He's horrible.
768
01:04:36,946 --> 01:04:41,404
Can I get in the front with you?
Don't be so stupid!
769
01:05:00,112 --> 01:05:04,278
Put that down like that, or up like that.
770
01:05:04,279 --> 01:05:06,986
You could put it down like that.
771
01:05:06,987 --> 01:05:09,736
Put it up like that.
772
01:05:09,737 --> 01:05:12,404
I like it like this, though.
774
01:05:20,903 --> 01:05:24,237
Here you are, lads. Your music mix.
775
01:05:25,737 --> 01:05:27,694
On white label.
776
01:05:27,695 --> 01:05:28,819
Whoa...
777
01:05:28,820 --> 01:05:30,320
Ah!
778
01:05:32,820 --> 01:05:35,153
Can we feel it, please?
779
01:05:36,653 --> 01:05:37,737
Boom.
780
01:05:40,612 --> 01:05:41,903
Oh...
781
01:05:42,903 --> 01:05:44,778
Oh...
783
01:06:00,611 --> 01:06:03,986
Ladies.
Coming to the nightclub, ladies?
784
01:06:20,444 --> 01:06:22,277
All right, Candice?
785
01:06:22,278 --> 01:06:24,986
Kevin.
786
01:06:27,861 --> 01:06:32,277
We're playing our new music tonight, aren't we, Eyeball Paul?
787
01:06:32,278 --> 01:06:36,485
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
788
01:06:36,486 --> 01:06:38,902
It's on white label now,
789
01:06:38,903 --> 01:06:42,986
but it'll be on general release soon, probably.
790
01:06:48,486 --> 01:06:51,486
Your little ladies look impressed.
792
01:07:06,611 --> 01:07:08,194
Fuck!
793
01:07:09,861 --> 01:07:13,234
- Baz, you daft bastard!
- Sorry, boss.
794
01:07:13,235 --> 01:07:14,734
Jesus!
795
01:07:14,735 --> 01:07:18,651
Can I sit on your knee?
Yeah. Sure.
796
01:07:18,652 --> 01:07:20,776
Yeah, me, too.
797
01:07:20,777 --> 01:07:24,776
What was that about?
A puppy in the road.
798
01:07:24,777 --> 01:07:26,609
You should have flattened it!
799
01:07:26,610 --> 01:07:30,276
No!
You've got to be kind to puppies.
800
01:07:30,277 --> 01:07:32,359
We love all furry animals.
801
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:36,484
Kevin's sensitive about God's creatures.
802
01:07:36,485 --> 01:07:40,027
- Isn't it true?
- It is. And Perry.
803
01:07:56,443 --> 01:07:58,109
Idiot!
804
01:07:58,110 --> 01:08:01,234
It's been a fantastic holiday, love.
805
01:08:01,235 --> 01:08:05,276
Just what we needed.
The boys needed a break.
806
01:08:05,277 --> 01:08:07,651
Is that them?
807
01:08:07,652 --> 01:08:11,026
Don't worry, lads. I can manage.
808
01:08:14,776 --> 01:08:18,067
Let's go in.
Don't be so silly!
809
01:08:18,068 --> 01:08:23,275
They won't see us with all those people. It'll be an experience.
810
01:08:23,276 --> 01:08:25,484
Aren't you curious?
811
01:08:25,485 --> 01:08:30,151
This is it, Perry.
Kevin? Let's go have fun.
814
01:09:09,192 --> 01:09:15,026
- How much?! You're joking!
- No concessions for senior citizens.
815
01:09:30,484 --> 01:09:32,692
It's so loud!
816
01:09:37,942 --> 01:09:40,317
Right, lads.
817
01:09:43,525 --> 01:09:45,692
Here we go.
820
01:09:55,234 --> 01:09:57,900
All I wanna do is do it, isn't it...
821
01:10:15,983 --> 01:10:18,317
Ooh, ooh, Ray
822
01:10:20,317 --> 01:10:22,858
Oh, Ray!
823
01:10:23,858 --> 01:10:25,566
Oh, Ray...
824
01:10:25,567 --> 01:10:26,483
Oh, oh...
825
01:10:27,525 --> 01:10:28,858
Oh, oh...
826
01:10:29,567 --> 01:10:31,982
Oh... Oh... Oh...
827
01:10:31,983 --> 01:10:33,858
Oh! Oh!
829
01:10:44,316 --> 01:10:45,649
Ray!
830
01:10:45,650 --> 01:10:47,524
Ah!
831
01:10:47,525 --> 01:10:50,107
Big girl
832
01:10:50,108 --> 01:10:53,690
Oh! Oh!
833
01:10:53,691 --> 01:10:56,065
Oh!
834
01:10:56,066 --> 01:10:58,857
Gemma...
835
01:10:58,858 --> 01:11:02,108
Oh, Ray!
836
01:11:04,816 --> 01:11:06,316
Lick my love plank
837
01:11:08,316 --> 01:11:12,524
Candice, suck my candy
838
01:11:17,399 --> 01:11:19,565
I'm famous!
And me!
839
01:11:19,566 --> 01:11:22,733
We love you!
840
01:11:25,483 --> 01:11:28,149
All I wanna do is do it, yeah
841
01:11:30,691 --> 01:11:31,816
Big girl
842
01:11:34,274 --> 01:11:36,106
Oh, Ray!
843
01:11:36,107 --> 01:11:38,273
That's enough of that shit.
845
01:11:40,191 --> 01:11:42,106
No!
Get off!
846
01:11:42,107 --> 01:11:44,566
Dance, you scumbags!
847
01:11:46,607 --> 01:11:49,231
Move, you useless bastards!
848
01:11:49,232 --> 01:11:52,606
Ooh, Ray! Ooh, Ray!
849
01:11:52,607 --> 01:11:59,232
Right! You want a piece of this shit? You can each have a bit of it.
850
01:12:00,232 --> 01:12:03,440
Don't do that, boss.
You're fired!
852
01:12:09,607 --> 01:12:11,689
Ooh, Ray! Ooh, Ray!
853
01:12:11,690 --> 01:12:14,774
Well, lads, it's over to you.
857
01:12:30,523 --> 01:12:32,564
Oh, Ray...
858
01:12:32,565 --> 01:12:36,857
Oh, oh! Oh, oh!
859
01:12:57,815 --> 01:12:59,731
Big girl...
860
01:13:07,481 --> 01:13:09,773
Oh, Ray...
861
01:13:18,148 --> 01:13:20,314
It's beautiful, isn't it?
862
01:13:20,315 --> 01:13:24,231
Like you, isn't it.
It is.
863
01:13:25,231 --> 01:13:29,980
Is that you having sex on the record?
Yeah. Might be.
864
01:13:29,981 --> 01:13:33,023
Who's the woman?
My mum.
865
01:13:34,689 --> 01:13:38,188
Oh, no! I mean... I've never done it before.
866
01:13:38,189 --> 01:13:41,606
Er... It wasn't me.
Were you a virgin?
867
01:13:43,814 --> 01:13:45,688
No.
868
01:13:45,689 --> 01:13:47,856
So was I.
870
01:13:53,731 --> 01:13:55,105
Kevin!
871
01:13:55,106 --> 01:13:57,063
Yeah?
872
01:13:57,064 --> 01:13:59,271
Have you done it yet?
873
01:13:59,272 --> 01:14:00,438
Yeah.
874
01:14:00,439 --> 01:14:03,521
So have I.
875
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:06,730
Well done.!
876
01:14:06,731 --> 01:14:10,355
Here, did you give it to Candice large?
877
01:14:10,356 --> 01:14:14,397
I think so!
Hey!
880
01:15:06,980 --> 01:15:09,562
Sign this!
881
01:15:09,563 --> 01:15:13,147
Thanks. I had sex with Kevin before he was famous.
882
01:15:58,521 --> 01:16:03,270
You are not my mate and you are not my fellow DJ!
883
01:16:03,271 --> 01:16:05,562
Goodbye...
884
01:16:05,563 --> 01:16:10,896
Mr and Mrs Patterson, could I have a jam sandwich, please?
53650
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