All language subtitles for JJ Villards Fairy Tales s01e05 Rumpelstiltskin.eng
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1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,402
♪ La, la, la, la,
la-la-la, la, la ♪
2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:05,270
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
3
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,472
[ Witches cackle ]
4
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,007
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
5
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,009
♪ La, la, la, la,
la-la-la, la ♪
6
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,677
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
7
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,879
♪ La, la, la, la,
la-la-la, la, la ♪
8
00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,548
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
9
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,883
♪ La, la, la, la,
la-la-la, la, la ♪
10
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,218
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
11
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,487
Aah!
Ugh!
12
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:23,488
Aah!
13
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,157
[ Witches laughing ]
14
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,560
♪♪
15
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,562
Jizzelda: Aaah!
16
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,897
[ Thud ]
17
00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:35,100
I'm sick of you
coming home drunk,
18
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,701
slapping me around!
19
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,170
Huh!
20
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,371
We're through!
21
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:43,107
T-H-R-O-O -- through.
22
00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:44,909
Piece of crap.
23
00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:46,512
[ Flies buzzing ]
24
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,618
Chaffino!
More ga-ga water.
25
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,659
I finally left him.
26
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,126
Who?
27
00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:03,395
My boyfriend.
28
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:07,332
Lady, just drink your drink,
and get the hell out.
29
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,535
Well, someone's got a razor
in their rectum.
30
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,004
[ Glass shatters ]
31
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:14,206
[ Retching ]
32
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:16,341
[ Gulp! ]
33
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:19,211
Who's that?
34
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,945
That's Prince Lionel,
the richest,
35
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:23,816
most handsomest man
in all of Villardia.
36
00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:27,952
You know, they also say he takes
the cutest little poopies.
37
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:30,154
[ Hissing ]
38
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:33,025
I bet.
I got to meet him.
39
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:35,160
Who has my crayons?
Grrr!
40
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:36,228
I want to color.
41
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,096
Squire, give me
my crayons.
42
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,833
I don't have
your crayons, sir.
43
00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:44,036
I thought I brought them,
but I got all [bleep] up.
44
00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:45,103
[ Grunts ]
45
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,340
Craaaaayyyonnnnns!
46
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:55,914
Hi, I'm Jizzelda, and I'd
really like to marry you.
47
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,583
I think we'd make
a great couple.
48
00:01:58,585 --> 00:01:59,984
Ughhh.
49
00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:01,986
[ Laughs ]
50
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:03,856
Really? You?
51
00:02:03,858 --> 00:02:06,991
You like an average,
run-of-the-mill farm pig to me.
52
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:08,727
What makes you
so special?
53
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,062
[ Gulping ]
54
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:14,199
Well, um, I...
55
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,667
[ Snorting and growling ]
56
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,136
I happen to be
a master spinstress.
57
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,206
I can spin straw
into crayons.
58
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,875
Crayons, huh?
59
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:24,609
What else can you do?
60
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,679
I can spin, um...
61
00:02:26,681 --> 00:02:28,480
[ Flies buzzing ]
62
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:32,150
...hobo hair into...
63
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,952
[ Squeaking ]
64
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,154
...new eye patches!
65
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,090
Oh, really?
66
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:40,158
Keep talking.
67
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,293
I can spin...
68
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,095
[ Burps ]
69
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,897
...cat fur into...
70
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:46,431
[ Squeaking ]
71
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:48,300
...designer plugs.
72
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,835
Plugs? You mean like
butt plugs?
73
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,371
Duh.
74
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,907
You intrigue me.
75
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:55,908
Here's my card.
76
00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:57,976
Be at the castle
tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.
77
00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:00,245
Don't be late.
78
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,380
[ Exhales ]
79
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:03,115
[ Clanging ]
80
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:07,452
[ Laughing ]
81
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,787
Jizzelda: Ahem.
82
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,990
Ah, there she is --
little Jizzelda,
83
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:14,058
the Magical
Crayon Queen.
84
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,794
Well, ready to go
to work?
85
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:16,929
Work?
86
00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:19,264
I thought we were gonna
Netflix and chill.
87
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,266
Soon, baby, uh,
but first...
88
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,667
Ugh!
89
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,869
What --
what's happening?
90
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,204
You see all that straw?
91
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,273
I want you to turn all of it
into crayons
92
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:31,543
just like you said you could,
and if you can't do it,
93
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,546
I'll chop your head
off old-school.
94
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,414
But --
Better recognize.
95
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,016
[ Slam! ]
96
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,484
Oh, Jizzelda.
97
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,486
You really did it this time.
98
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:44,423
I'll just roll over
and wait to die.
99
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,424
[ Crying ]
100
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:47,759
[ Crackling ]
101
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,027
Jizzelda?
102
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,028
Jizzelda?
103
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,164
Ah! Who said that?
104
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:55,233
It is I, Rumpelstil--
Ahem.
105
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,036
I mean, Skyler.
106
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,504
Skyler?
107
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,173
I'm here to help you.
108
00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:02,641
Help me escape?
109
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:06,511
No, to help you turn straw
into crayons.
110
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:09,782
You just have to agree
to one thing.
111
00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:12,050
Anything,
anything at all.
112
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:15,387
Watch me lick
the toilet.
113
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,656
What?
Eww, gross.
114
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,658
All right.
I'll be seeing you.
115
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,995
No. Okay, okay,
I'll watch.
116
00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:27,065
Hee, hee, hee, hee,
hee, hee, hee, hee.
117
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,533
[ Slurping ]
118
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,470
Ugh. Eww.
[ Cackling ]
119
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,471
Eh.
120
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,738
You're not looking.
121
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,140
Okay, Skyler.
I'm looking.
122
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,942
[ Slurping and cackling ]
123
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:38,943
Gross.
124
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:42,014
Okay, let's get down
to business.
125
00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:44,349
♪ Squibbidy-dee,
hoggidy-hoo, ♪
126
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,684
♪ chickity-lickity-loo ♪
127
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,686
♪ I'm making crayons
from this straw ♪
128
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,087
♪ La, la, la, la,
loo ♪
129
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,289
Ah, oh, my God,
Skyler!
130
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,757
Ah!
[ Giggling ]
131
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:53,892
♪ Doobidy-doop! ♪
132
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,362
See you next time,
butt slime.
133
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:00,232
[ Sighs ]
134
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,567
Ah.
135
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,503
Well, pass
the ketchup.
136
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,038
Jizzelda,
you did it!
137
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,106
I'm gonna give you
the biggest reward of your life.
138
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,374
Really?
139
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:10,442
Oof!
140
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,644
I can't think
of any bigger reward
141
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:15,247
than continuing
to serve Prince Lionel.
142
00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:18,317
Now, spin that hobo hair into
some new eye patches for me.
143
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,720
Hiyah!
144
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,322
I got through eye patches like
babies go through diapers.
145
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,725
[ Slam! ]
[ Laughs ]
146
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,260
Scotty?
147
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,594
Scooter?
148
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,031
Where is that short
little stack of shit?
149
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,599
[ Clicks tongue ]
150
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:35,934
Hey, Jizzy, baby.
151
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,469
You looking for me,
Rumpelstiltski--
152
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:40,805
Uh, I mean,
uh...Dennis?
153
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,741
Yes.
All right.
154
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,210
You want me to watch you
lick another toilet bowl?
155
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,478
Oh, no.
156
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,813
This time it's really
gonna cost you.
157
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:52,684
I want you to...
sing me a song...
158
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,087
about my butt crack.
159
00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:58,356
Um...[clears throat]
okay.
160
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,958
And make it positive.
161
00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:05,898
♪ Your butt crack looks
so nice and sweet ♪ Oh.
162
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:09,968
I bet you shave
until it's clean and neat ♪
163
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,636
[ Laughs ]
Keep going.
164
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,305
More positive.
165
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:16,909
♪ If I were the health
inspector here ♪
166
00:06:16,911 --> 00:06:20,178
♪ Your butt would get an A
and would be all clear ♪
167
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:23,582
♪ Your cute butt,
it smells so clean ♪
168
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,985
♪ Do you wash your ass
with Listerine? ♪
169
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,988
♪ And if your butt crack
could tell a tale ♪
170
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,258
♪ It would be locked up
in cute jail ♪
171
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,593
Oh, yes!
172
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:35,860
♪ Dibbidy-dink,
a-dinkidy-doo ♪
173
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,662
♪ A-choobidy-
chubity-choo ♪
174
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,664
♪ Flibbity-flabbity-
flubbity-floo ♪
175
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,600
♪ I'm making eye patches
for you ♪
176
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,068
Oh, thank you.
177
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,803
You saved me again.
178
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,272
Bye for now,
your stupid cow.
179
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,274
Cha, cha!
180
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,209
Hot diggity dog.
181
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,344
You did it again.
182
00:06:52,346 --> 00:06:53,946
This calls
for a celebration.
183
00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:57,015
By "celebration," you don't mean
shoving me in another --
184
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:57,816
Aaah!
185
00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,018
That's absolutely
what I mean.
186
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,353
God dammit.
187
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:02,754
And if you don't get it done
by daybreak,
188
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,489
I'll chop your face off.
189
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,557
[ Slam! ]
190
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,426
Why do I keep
falling for this?
191
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,428
Where's that
shrimpy magician?
192
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,163
Donny?
193
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,498
Dreyfuss?
194
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,835
Rumpelstiltski--
I mean...Cortez.
195
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:17,902
Yes.
196
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,437
Boy, am I
in a pickle here.
197
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,705
Ah, say no more.
198
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,040
That's what
I'm here for.
199
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,509
But first,
what can you do for me?
200
00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,444
You name it, Corty.
201
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,580
I want your
first-born child.
202
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,849
First-born child?
203
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,717
Yeahhh.
204
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,719
Sure, I hate kids.
205
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:35,920
That's a deal.
206
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:38,123
Now step aside,
scumbag.
207
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,724
♪ Ribbity-mock,
miggidy-dugs ♪
208
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:41,326
♪ Diggity-designer
plugs ♪
209
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,995
♪ Designer plugs
and tuggedy-tug ♪
210
00:07:42,997 --> 00:07:44,262
♪ Ziggdiy-zoggidy-zugs ♪
211
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:47,732
Cornelius,
you're a real miracle worker.
212
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,402
I'll be back when you push out
that first kid.
213
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,704
[ Clicks tongue ]
214
00:07:53,808 --> 00:07:55,808
Pass the ketchup
and the mustard.
215
00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:59,411
Trick-baby Jizzelda,
you are one magical lady.
216
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:00,813
Get over here.
217
00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:03,482
I'm gonna give you hugs
for the plugs.
218
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:04,749
Oh, Lionel.
219
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,618
Does this mean
we can get married now?
220
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,420
Yes, it does baby.
221
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,088
Ohh.
222
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,157
♪♪
223
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,293
♪ I never knew I could love
a baby like you ♪
224
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:18,630
♪ All of our problems
are gone and through ♪
225
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:21,966
♪ You're like a rose
that blooms in the spring ♪
226
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:25,704
♪ One day you'll grow up
to be a wonderful king ♪
227
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,373
♪ You fill my heart
with such joy ♪
228
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:32,377
♪ You are my little
one-eyed baby boy ♪
229
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,446
Jizzy, baby?
230
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:36,048
Now, now, Jizzelda.
231
00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:37,582
We had a deal.
232
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:40,052
Now fork over
that little cyclops.
233
00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:43,655
[ Laughing ] Oh, no.
I-I changed my mind.
234
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,924
I like my baby
and want to keep it.
235
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,393
That's not how deals work,
Jizzelda.
236
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,828
[ Clicks tongue ]
237
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,667
No!
Give me back my baby!
238
00:08:54,669 --> 00:08:57,936
Jizzy, Jizzy, Jizzy,
I've done so much for you,
239
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,873
and now you want to go
back on our deal?
240
00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:04,943
Okay, how about we play
a little guessing game?
241
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:07,479
What kind of
guessing game?
242
00:09:07,481 --> 00:09:10,215
Guess my name
and keep your kid.
243
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,950
You get three guesses.
244
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,351
Okay.
245
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,553
What was your name?
246
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,288
Um, oh, boy.
247
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:19,023
Uh, hmm, I...
248
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,293
Weirdo Q. [Bleep]brain?
249
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,562
What? No!
250
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,831
Um, Fartwind Poopswallow.
251
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,500
Ugh! God, no!
252
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:29,902
What's wrong
with you, lady?
253
00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:33,638
Dr. J.R.R. Take-a-shit.
254
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,840
Ha-ha, you're wrong
on all three.
255
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,175
The baby's mine.
256
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,444
See you later,
Smellavator.
257
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:42,715
No, don't take my baby,
you weird little shitbag!
258
00:09:42,717 --> 00:09:47,319
Oh, you're coming with me,
you one-eyed cutie pie.
259
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,720
Hee, hee, hee.
260
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:52,190
Ew, the hell's wrong
with your baby?
261
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,858
[ Growls ]
262
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,060
[ Grunts ]
263
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,261
Ah, my baby.
264
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,596
[ Growling ]
265
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:58,663
What?
266
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,533
Aah, aah, aah, aah!
267
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,736
Help!
268
00:10:03,738 --> 00:10:07,739
Lionel Junior, your ooze
monster saved us.
269
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,474
Aah! What?
270
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,543
Oh, no, not me!
271
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:14,479
[ Chewing ]
272
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,348
Jizzelda!
Baby Lionel!
273
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,483
Cookie.
Oh!
274
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,819
Oh, ah, oh, ah!
275
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,254
[ Chewing ]
276
00:10:24,759 --> 00:10:26,892
[ Cooing ]
277
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,134
[ Growling ]
278
00:10:36,771 --> 00:10:39,038
[ Bell tolling ]
279
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:44,276
[ Crowd chanting "Ooze" ]
280
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,984
♪♪
281
00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:53,852
♪ La, la, la, la,
la-la-la, la, la ♪
282
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,453
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
283
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,722
♪ La, la, la, la,
la-la-la, la, la ♪
284
00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,391
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
285
00:10:59,393 --> 00:11:01,460
♪ La, la, la, la,
la-la-la, la, la ♪
286
00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:03,128
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
287
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,063
♪ La, la, la, la,
la-la-la, la, la ♪
288
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,731
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
289
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:09,401
♪♪
290
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:12,070
[ Witch cackles ]
291
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:15,207
♪♪
292
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:19,807
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