Original subtitles

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

[ Witches laughing ] ♪ La, la La, la, la, la, la ♪

[ Crow squawks, bat screeches ] ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la La, la, la, la, la ♪

[ Pigs oinking ] ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ Aah!

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ [ Screams ]

[ Bell rings ]

♪♪

Buh-bye, Mommy!

I'm going to play with all the wonderful creatures

in the Enchanted Forest.

Oh, that's wonderful, Goldilocks.

Just don't get lost.

You know how years ago your dad went for a walk in the forest,

and he never came back.

[ Sobs ]

♪♪

Please, Goldi, just be home before dark.

Oh, Mother, don't worry.

I'll be back before the moon kisses your nose.

[ Ominous chord strikes ]

♪ Forest, forest ♪

♪ It's a love-fest in the forest, forest ♪

♪ It's a love-fest ♪

♪ Look at the crab hiding in the tree ♪

♪ I love him, and he loves me ♪

♪ Two little ducklings eating strawberry jam ♪

♪ All the animals in the forest are my fam ♪

♪♪

♪ Forest, forest ♪

♪ It's a love-fest ♪

♪ The Enchanted Forest is such a magical place ♪

♪ I love the horseshoe crab tears on my face ♪

♪ This is my place to escape the human race ♪

♪ Forest, forest ♪

♪ It's a love-fest in the forest ♪

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

Hurry up, boys. I'm hungry.

Make that goddamn porridge.

[ Coughs ] And make it good.

Mama, want me to grind up

some of these trolls

and put them in the porridge?

No, you half-wit!

I want you to grind up some of the trolls,

and put them in the porridge!

Y-Yes, Mama.

Ha ha! You dope!

Mama loves me more.

I'm Mama's favorite.

No, Mama loves me best.

♪♪

[ Hive Head and Bearstein laugh ]

[ Splat, creatures chittering ]

[ Laughs ]

Mama Bear: Eat up, my lovable screwballs.

We got work to do.

♪♪

Look what you did to the porridge!

It's too hot!

Mama, I'm sorry.

We just ain't as smart as you, Mama.

[ Growls ] All right.

Let's go down to the creek to get some catfish piss.

It'll cool this disgusting shat down.

I love you, Mama. Bearstein: I love you more.

Shut up!

[ Owl hooting, insects chirping ]

Goldilocks: ♪ Forest, forest, forest ♪

I'm lost. [ Crying ]

♪♪

I'm pooped.

I'm cold. I'm tired.

I'm hungry, and I'm lost.

[ Cries ]

[ All gasp ]

Oh, what's this?

[ Gasps ] Oh, look!

It's somebody's house.

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la, la, la, la ♪

I'll just walk in without asking.

I'm sure it's okay.

Oh, boy! Look at this place.

Oh, my!

This looks like some kind of food.

[ Creatures chittering ] It's porridge.

I love porridge!

Ah! This bowl of porridge tastes like doo-doo.

This bowl of porridge tastes like pee-pee.

This bowl of porridge is just right!

♪♪

Organs: ♪ Welcome to Goldilocks' body ♪

♪ Welcome to Goldilocks' body ♪

♪ Welcome to Goldilocks' body ♪

♪ We think you are really great ♪

[ Slam ] Oh, no!

I got to caca doo doo!

[ Screams ]

[ Cries ]

[ Clink ] Ow!

This toilet is too hard.

[ Loud farting ] Ew, yuck!

This toilet is too soft.

[ Sighs ] This toilet is just right.

[ Laughs ] [ Chomp ]

Ouch! The toilet bit off my bum-bum.

[ Burps ] Yum.

[ Giggles ] [ Toilet flushes ]

I need a new bum-bum.

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

Oh, my! What's this?

[ Gasps ] Three bum-bums in a bum-bum hutch.

This bum-bum is too hairy.

[ Loud fart ] Ew! This bum-bum is too stinky.

This bum-bum is just right.

[ Birds chirping ]

♪♪

[ Twinkle ]

Hooray! A new bum-bum!

[ Yawns ] Sewing on a new bum-bum

sure makes me sleepy.

I'm going to need a nappy doodi doo.

What's in here?

Three beds!

Ahh.

Yikes! This bed has crabs!

♪♪

Yuck! This bed is full of mustard!

Hm, this bed has a big brain in it.

Just what I love.

[ Snoring ] Za, za, za, za.

[ Wind howling, owl hooting ]

[ Hive Head laughs ] Okay, we got the catfish piss

to cool this porridge --

Whoa, whoa, whoa! [ Glass shatters ]

Oh, look what you did to the catfish piss!

Yeah, Mama, he's a dummy.

I told you not to be stupid, you moron.

It's not my fault, Mama.

I slipped in that puddle of sludge,

but it don't matter anyway.

Look, someone ate all the porridge.

[ Metal cranking ]

[ Flies buzzing, creatures chittering ] What?!

Hive Head: Somebody has been sludging up the crapper, Mama.

What?

And someone stole my emergency ass.

What?!

Boys.

There's a stranger in the house.

[ Both growl ]

You know what to do.

Both: We sure do.

[ Discordant music plays ]

♪♪

[ Instrument plays sour note ]

Follow those footprints.

Someone slept in my bed.

Someone slept in my bed, boys!

Someone slept in my bed,

and they're still in it.

Hi, little bear! My name is Goldilocks.

You want to be my friend?

Boys, let's show Goldilocks here

what we do to unwelcome guests.

Aah!

I got her! I got her! I got Goldilocks!

♪♪

Mama! What you doin' in there?

You fraggin' with me old-school?

[ Laughs ] You dummy.

You done bashed up Mama.

You baboon-brained idiots!

I'm sorry I ate your porridge, sludged up your toilet,

took your emergency bum-bum

and slept in your big brain bed.

Please let me go home to my mother.

Home? My ass.

Hive Head, give her the bees.

[ Bees buzzing ] Get'r done, honeybees.

Yikes! I don't like bees.

Owie!

Owie, owie, owie, owie!

[ Wailing ]

♪♪

Well, I guess I barely made it out alive. [bear]

♪ La, la, la ♪

I'm going home!

♪♪

[ Screeching ]

Mama, we're all hooked up together.

Yes! We'll be connected forever.

Shut up, you blathering bozos!

Yikes, a bear monster!

[ Mama Bear laughs evilly ]

Ouch, my golden locks!

♪♪

Yikes! I'm on fire.

Owie, owie, owie, owie, owie!

Aah!

I'm dead.

[ Bear Monster screeches ]

Our house is done ruined, Mama.

She knows that, you half-wit.

I know! I know!

Let's go take Goldilocks' house.

Shut up, you idiots!

I've got a better idea.

Let's go take Goldilocks' house.

Good idea, Mama. Good idea, Mama.

♪ We're going to Goldi's house ♪

♪ We're going to Goldi's house ♪

♪ We're gonna take over Goldi's house ♪

♪ We're going to Goldi's house ♪

Just one second.

Who is it?

Oh, my little Goldi doo-doo.

Hee hee! You're safe.

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ Screams ]

Ouch, my eye!

What's happening?

♪ I'm a mommy puppet, la-la-la ♪

♪ I'm a mommy puppet la-la-la ♪

Let go of my mommy,

you stupid poo-poo, pee-pee bears.

Goldi, help!

[ Monster Bear screeches ]

Look, Mama, it's Goldilocks.

She's still alive.

Not for long.

Aah! You hurt my mama

and made me use bad language.

[ Grunting ]

Lunch time.

Owie, owie, owie!

Ugh! Tastes like ass juice.

[ Goldilocks grunts, cries ]

All I did was eat your porridge.

Boys --

[ Gunshot ]

Hive Head and Bearstein: Mama!

[ Gunshot ]

Brother!

Me!

But who?

It is I, Goldilocks,

your daddy.

Daddy? Is that you?

That's right.

I am your porridge daddy.

Many years ago, I was wandering through the forest,

and those evil bears captured me

and turned me into porridge.

♪♪

It was through my own sheer will

and love for you, my daughter,

that I was able to escape into the woods

where I've been living for nearly a decade

as a half-man, half-porridge freak.

But why didn't you come home years ago?

I was too ashamed to show my porridge-y face.

Oh, Daddy!

[ Mother groans ]

Heathcliff?

Is that you?

Victoria, my love!

Oh, hooray!

We're a family again.

Goldilocks: ♪ We got a mom, and we got a dad ♪

♪ And our daughter, that's not bad! ♪

♪ We're a family ♪

♪ The bears tried to kill us 'cause they're mean ♪

♪ But we're the best family that they've ever seen ♪

♪ We're a family ♪

♪ We're a family ♪

♪♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0