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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:25,708 I am going to kill you. 3 00:00:25,710 --> 00:00:27,463 What? I haven't even said the stuff yet 4 00:00:27,465 --> 00:00:28,564 that might piss you off. 5 00:00:28,566 --> 00:00:30,666 [GASPS, YELLS] 6 00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:36,248 - Ivy! - [JOKER SIGHS] 7 00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:39,288 Violence was the hallmark of our relationship, too. 8 00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:42,588 Beth, you craving Thai or Italian? 9 00:00:42,590 --> 00:00:44,897 Hey! I don't know what I did! I'm sure it's somethin'. 10 00:00:44,899 --> 00:00:47,158 Let's just hash this out like adults. 11 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,130 [GASPS, SQUEALS] 12 00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,268 [KITE MAN] I gotcha! 13 00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:53,898 So, missed you at the dress fitting. 14 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,908 Kite Man, what the fuck is happenin'? 15 00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:58,138 - Also, hand. - Uh... Oh, oh! Sorry. 16 00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,478 - [PARADEMON SCREECHING] - Uh, turns out 17 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,838 Dr. Psycho is now, like, all-powerful, 18 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,678 and has my forever babe mind controlled. 19 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,208 [GROANS] Well, we won't need to worry about Psycho 20 00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:07,218 after I kill him. 21 00:01:07,220 --> 00:01:08,368 Oh, thank God! 22 00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:11,318 She's the love of my life, and the wedding is tomorrow. 23 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,558 The wedding's happening, okay? 24 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,958 You didn't buy that tux for nothin'. 25 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,788 I didn't buy it at all. It's a rental. 26 00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:17,428 Jesus, you are a grown man. 27 00:01:17,430 --> 00:01:19,430 Just buy it, you're gonna use it. 28 00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:25,430 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 29 00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:34,830 - [PARADEMONS SNARLING] - [BATMAN GRUNTING] 30 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,780 [GRUNTING] 31 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,558 One nest of Parademons, coming right up! 32 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,910 Okay, that wasn't to anybody. 33 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:55,670 [SUPERMAN GRUNTS] 34 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,668 [WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS] 35 00:01:58,670 --> 00:02:00,298 I'll ask you this once. 36 00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,268 Where is Dr. Psycho? 37 00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:03,540 [SCREECHES] 38 00:02:06,124 --> 00:02:07,283 Oh, what? 39 00:02:07,285 --> 00:02:08,524 Because I'm an alien, 40 00:02:08,526 --> 00:02:11,948 I understand all alien languages? 41 00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,878 Okay. I know a little Parademon, 42 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,790 but it's still a racist assumption. Be better. 43 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:21,018 [DR. PSYCHO AND RIDDLER LAUGHING] 44 00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,958 Do the fish guy, do him. 45 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,888 [LAUGHS] God! You're like Jaws 46 00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,698 if all ya ate was fat people. 47 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,968 Okay, what's your most embarrassing moment? 48 00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:31,368 [GASPS] I thought we were friends, 49 00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:34,910 or at least coworkers with a begrudging professional respect. 50 00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:38,338 Nanaue, 51 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:40,278 play nice with your brother. 52 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,038 [YOUNG SHARK STRUGGLING, GRUNTING] 53 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,308 [WHIMPERS] 54 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,748 [SNIFFS] Blood! 55 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,278 - [YOUNG SHARK SCREAMS] - [BONES CRUNCHING] 56 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,618 No! What are you doing? 57 00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,018 That's your brother! 58 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:53,328 My lord! 59 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:55,988 You devoured your kin like an amuse-bouche! 60 00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:57,319 Holy hell! 61 00:02:57,321 --> 00:02:59,224 I thought we were gonna see you crap your pants, 62 00:02:59,226 --> 00:03:00,756 but that is dark, man. 63 00:03:04,570 --> 00:03:07,467 Have you procured the head of Harley Quinn? 64 00:03:07,469 --> 00:03:08,638 Funny you should ask. 65 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:11,038 I am procuring as we speak. 66 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,078 Any minute now, her head 67 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,708 is gonna come rolling through the door 68 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:17,508 like a bowling ball with a bad dye job. 69 00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:19,648 Ahem! Sorry to interrupt. 70 00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:21,119 Um, apparently, 71 00:03:21,121 --> 00:03:23,448 Batman and his super friends destroyed the Parademons, 72 00:03:23,450 --> 00:03:24,788 and are, um... [CLEARS THROAT] 73 00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:26,348 - ... are coming here. - Fuck! 74 00:03:26,350 --> 00:03:28,683 You express fear and displeasure. 75 00:03:28,685 --> 00:03:30,558 No! Everything's fine. 76 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,458 That was a happy "fuck". 77 00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:34,997 It's a great word. You can use it many different ways. 78 00:03:34,999 --> 00:03:36,897 Like "Fuck, yeah!" or, "Let's fuck". 79 00:03:36,899 --> 00:03:39,898 Harley Quinn swore an oath to me and failed. 80 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,338 Now you have sworn the same oath. 81 00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:45,368 I shall appear at nightfall to collect someone's head. 82 00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:47,108 It is your choice whose. 83 00:03:47,110 --> 00:03:48,748 No problem, no biggie! 84 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,048 Now, is that my nightfall or where you are? 85 00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:53,318 'Cause time zones across planets and dimensions 86 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,018 are like wah, wah, wah, wah, wah... okay. 87 00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:56,448 [LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY] 88 00:03:56,450 --> 00:03:58,388 You've stepped in it now, Psycho. 89 00:03:58,390 --> 00:03:59,988 A big, fresh wet one! 90 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,758 ♪ The Justice League to the rescue! ♪ 91 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,628 Huzzah! 92 00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:06,628 No way that helmet's powerful enough 93 00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,858 to control Superman's funky alien brain. 94 00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:11,528 ♪ The Justice League comes to get us ♪ 95 00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:13,138 ♪ Free us all ♪ [CONTINUES VOCALIZING] 96 00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:14,299 He might be right. 97 00:04:14,301 --> 00:04:15,798 If the Justice League reach the mall, 98 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,438 uh, game over. 99 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:18,738 Shut up, Debbie Downer, 100 00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:20,138 it's not game over. 101 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:22,207 It's game on! Ha! 102 00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:23,448 We got a new plan. 103 00:04:23,450 --> 00:04:25,061 We're gonna kill Harley Quinn, 104 00:04:25,063 --> 00:04:27,478 but first we gotta kill the heroes. 105 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,948 Kill the heroes, 106 00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:30,918 kill Harley, 107 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,620 rule Earth! 108 00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:36,257 Welcome to the old Kite-tress of solitude. 109 00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:37,288 Sorry about the mess. 110 00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:39,758 My, uh, roommate leaves stuff everywhere. 111 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,175 Psycho, that little shit. 112 00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:42,732 Puts on a magic yarmulke 113 00:04:42,734 --> 00:04:44,367 and now, he's doin' Jedi mind tricks? 114 00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:46,067 We need to destroy that helmet. 115 00:04:46,069 --> 00:04:47,725 Uh, just a little caveat there. 116 00:04:47,727 --> 00:04:50,009 Uh, we can't get close or he'll put our domes 117 00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:51,669 through the brain-washing spin cycle. 118 00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:52,939 I know. He did the same thing 119 00:04:52,941 --> 00:04:54,239 to Clayface and King Shark. 120 00:04:54,241 --> 00:04:56,039 The second they... Sy. 121 00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:59,209 [SIGHS DEEPLY] Sigh is right. 122 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,719 For my lady love hath been led astray. 123 00:05:01,721 --> 00:05:04,989 Not "sigh", dummy. Sy. Sy Borgman. 124 00:05:04,991 --> 00:05:06,919 Sy wasn't affected by Psycho's mind control. 125 00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:08,259 He was immune. 126 00:05:08,261 --> 00:05:11,289 What the hell made you so special, Sy? 127 00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:13,296 [YELPS] Zombie eye, zombie eye! 128 00:05:13,298 --> 00:05:15,299 Wait, wait! My kite senses are fluttering. 129 00:05:15,301 --> 00:05:16,869 It's Morse Code! 130 00:05:16,871 --> 00:05:18,829 - You know Morse Code? - Of course! 131 00:05:18,831 --> 00:05:20,699 Sailors and kiters use signal lamps 132 00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:23,069 to transmit Morse Code without being detected. 133 00:05:23,071 --> 00:05:25,239 I still sometimes can't get over the fact 134 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,739 Ivy has sex with you. 135 00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:28,639 [SUGGESTIVELY] Oh, she does. 136 00:05:28,641 --> 00:05:30,949 Look, the eye is saying... 137 00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:33,919 Plug... me... in. 138 00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:36,621 What does it mean? 139 00:05:38,927 --> 00:05:40,456 Ta-da! 140 00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:41,819 Oh, well, okay, right. 141 00:05:41,821 --> 00:05:43,859 Sy, you're a zombie robot ghost! 142 00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:46,159 N-n-n-none, none of the above, baby! 143 00:05:46,161 --> 00:05:47,829 I just got a classic case of 144 00:05:47,831 --> 00:05:50,899 the human consciousness- transferred-into-the-machine-itis. 145 00:05:50,901 --> 00:05:52,180 There was a whole chapter on it 146 00:05:52,182 --> 00:05:54,739 in my robot b-b-b-body handbook I didn't read. 147 00:05:54,741 --> 00:05:56,039 Sy, we don't have a lot of time. 148 00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:57,109 Listen, why weren't you affected 149 00:05:57,111 --> 00:05:58,209 by Psycho's mind control? 150 00:05:58,211 --> 00:06:00,309 Because the C-C-C-Commies! 151 00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:03,009 CIA wanted to make sure the Ruskies didn't flip me 152 00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:04,334 into a Manchurian candidate 153 00:06:04,336 --> 00:06:06,079 and/or president of the United States. 154 00:06:06,081 --> 00:06:08,149 They used cutting-edge t-t-technology 155 00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:10,319 to create an anti-mind control device 156 00:06:10,321 --> 00:06:13,019 and jammed it in my n-n-n-noggin. 157 00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:15,719 Can you tell us how to make that device? 158 00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:19,089 Sure! Easy-p-p-peasy on my metal neezy. 159 00:06:19,091 --> 00:06:20,599 - Oh, thank God! - We're coming, Ivy. 160 00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:22,321 [SY] All you need is magnetic coating 161 00:06:22,323 --> 00:06:23,670 - from a floppy disk... - Huh. 162 00:06:23,672 --> 00:06:25,571 - The photodiodes of a VHS tape... - [GROANS] 163 00:06:25,573 --> 00:06:29,669 And an 8-track recording of The Monkees' D-D-D-Daydream Believer. 164 00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:31,769 Say we couldn't get those things... 165 00:06:31,771 --> 00:06:34,279 [SY] Well, then, it's gonna take a little elbow grease. 166 00:06:34,281 --> 00:06:37,281 [INDISTINCT ROARING] 167 00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:43,633 Oh, my God! Superman's gonna kill Ivy! 168 00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:45,389 Wasn't he trapped in a book? 169 00:06:45,391 --> 00:06:47,319 - Who let Superman out of the book? - [DISAPPOINTED SIGH] 170 00:06:47,321 --> 00:06:49,119 [RIDDLER] Are you sure you've got this? 171 00:06:49,121 --> 00:06:50,959 I mean, there's still time to flee. 172 00:06:50,961 --> 00:06:52,629 You've seen these calves. 173 00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:55,269 Stop showing me your weird turkey leg calves. 174 00:06:55,271 --> 00:06:56,329 I'm not gonna fuck you. 175 00:06:56,331 --> 00:06:57,899 If you wanna go, go. 176 00:06:57,901 --> 00:06:59,869 But don't show up tomorrow when this is over 177 00:06:59,871 --> 00:07:03,109 and still expect me to let you rule Scandinavia. 178 00:07:03,111 --> 00:07:04,709 I know you got a type. 179 00:07:04,711 --> 00:07:06,309 Fine, fine, I'll stay. 180 00:07:06,311 --> 00:07:07,979 Ah! It's just so pretty there. 181 00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:09,409 Everything looks like a fairy tale. 182 00:07:09,411 --> 00:07:11,179 - [DR. PSYCHO] Mmm. - Ow! God! 183 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,821 Ivy, stand down. 184 00:07:14,281 --> 00:07:15,651 [WONDER WOMAN AND SUPERMAN GRUNT] 185 00:07:17,351 --> 00:07:18,941 Still got it, baby. 186 00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:24,056 Hey... 187 00:07:24,058 --> 00:07:26,427 I know I'm more of a wordplay guy, 188 00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:29,129 but, mathematically, I don't like your odds. 189 00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:30,899 Don't get your onesie in a wad. 190 00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:32,829 I got a couple of things up my sleeve. 191 00:07:32,831 --> 00:07:34,739 Two very short arms? 192 00:07:34,741 --> 00:07:35,973 God damn it, I was trying to think 193 00:07:35,975 --> 00:07:38,141 of a really cool Wesley Snipes-style one liner 194 00:07:38,143 --> 00:07:39,953 - and you had to go... - Wesley Snipes? 195 00:07:39,955 --> 00:07:42,454 When's the last time you saw a fucking movie? 196 00:07:42,456 --> 00:07:46,879 Poison Ivy, we know that you're under Dr. Psycho's mind control. 197 00:07:46,881 --> 00:07:50,119 So I give you this warning. I, Kal-El, do say... 198 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,520 We don't want to have to take you out 199 00:07:51,522 --> 00:07:53,721 but if you don't give us another option, we will. 200 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,293 That's what he was getting to. 201 00:07:58,931 --> 00:08:00,959 Don't worry, the shark hates violence 202 00:08:00,961 --> 00:08:02,729 and the lump of clay is harmless. 203 00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:04,831 [YELLS] Blood! 204 00:08:09,741 --> 00:08:12,909 Okay, I did not, uh... yeah. 205 00:08:12,911 --> 00:08:14,239 Uh. Come on, come on! 206 00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:16,309 I'm Kite Man! Not Soldering Man! 207 00:08:16,311 --> 00:08:19,179 I know Soldering Man, but he's in Milwaukee. 208 00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:20,920 No, I said connect the thingamajig 209 00:08:20,922 --> 00:08:23,149 to the w-w-what's-ya-call-it, not the whose-it-what's-it! 210 00:08:23,151 --> 00:08:24,446 I don't know how to do this! 211 00:08:24,448 --> 00:08:26,959 Kites are electricity-free. I went to Oberlin! 212 00:08:26,961 --> 00:08:28,289 Well, unless you figure it out, 213 00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:29,459 the person I love 214 00:08:29,461 --> 00:08:30,690 - is gonna die! - What? 215 00:08:30,692 --> 00:08:32,224 As a friend. The friend I love, 216 00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:33,429 as a friend, is gonna die! 217 00:08:33,431 --> 00:08:35,869 Okay, 'cause that sounded intense. 218 00:08:35,871 --> 00:08:39,069 I'm Harley Quinn, I'm impetuous, I kiss people. Muah! 219 00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:40,469 Oh-ho! Hoochie mama! 220 00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:42,039 What is happening? 221 00:08:42,041 --> 00:08:43,740 Okay. You know what? I can't wait around 222 00:08:43,742 --> 00:08:46,379 until you graduate from DeVry! I'm goin' to save Ivy. 223 00:08:46,381 --> 00:08:47,399 Whoa, whoa, whoa, 224 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,879 that is a sophisticated piece of cloth and wood. 225 00:08:49,881 --> 00:08:52,079 It took years of training with my sen... 226 00:08:52,081 --> 00:08:55,079 And she is soaring majestically. 227 00:08:55,081 --> 00:08:56,451 - [ROARING] - [BATMAN GRUNTS] 228 00:08:59,991 --> 00:09:03,141 [WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS] 229 00:09:08,301 --> 00:09:11,451 [WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS] 230 00:09:15,271 --> 00:09:16,471 [KING SHARK GRUNTS] 231 00:09:17,311 --> 00:09:19,109 [SUPERMAN STRAINING] 232 00:09:19,111 --> 00:09:24,111 Get off me, you angry dolphin. Get off me! 233 00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:33,319 - [GLASS SHATTERING] - [METAL CRUNCHING] 234 00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:35,389 - [WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS] - [POISON IVY EXCLAIMS] 235 00:09:35,391 --> 00:09:37,495 Wait, wait! Did I tell you? 236 00:09:37,497 --> 00:09:40,229 Ivy and I basically spent her whole bachelorette party 237 00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:42,199 saving Themyscira from Lex Luthor? 238 00:09:42,201 --> 00:09:43,500 Clear the area, clown. 239 00:09:43,502 --> 00:09:45,702 Otherwise, I can't be responsible for your safety. 240 00:09:47,301 --> 00:09:48,509 [BOTH GRUNT] 241 00:09:48,511 --> 00:09:49,569 [PANTS] 242 00:09:49,571 --> 00:09:51,309 Damn it, Harley! 243 00:09:51,311 --> 00:09:53,179 [KING SHARK SNIFFING] 244 00:09:53,181 --> 00:09:55,479 Blood! 245 00:09:55,481 --> 00:09:56,579 [KING SHARK GROWLS] 246 00:09:56,581 --> 00:09:58,309 [WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS] 247 00:09:58,311 --> 00:09:59,979 [BATMAN GROANING] Harley! 248 00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:02,279 Are you shittin' me, Clayface? 249 00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:04,349 You could change into this at any time 250 00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:07,189 and chose ditzy co-eds and divorcees? 251 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,291 [CLAYFACE ROARS] 252 00:10:10,461 --> 00:10:11,461 [SUPERMAN GRUNTS] 253 00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:15,429 You realize the Man of Steel 254 00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:18,069 isn't just a clever nickname, right? 255 00:10:18,071 --> 00:10:19,539 Ive, you gotta snap out of it 256 00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:24,191 or they're gonna kill... [YELPS] 257 00:10:27,341 --> 00:10:32,341 - [SUPERMAN GRUNTS] - [POISON IVY SCREAMS] 258 00:10:41,706 --> 00:10:44,791 [HARLEY] Ugh. Homeboy's gotta upgrade to jet pack or somethin'. 259 00:10:46,301 --> 00:10:49,001 [CLAYFACE ROARING] 260 00:10:56,141 --> 00:10:59,141 [KING SHARK ROARING] 261 00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:05,281 [KING SHARK ROARING] 262 00:11:12,991 --> 00:11:14,061 [KING SHARK YELPS, GRUNTS] 263 00:11:17,531 --> 00:11:18,561 - [ROARS] - [METAL CLANGS] 264 00:11:20,361 --> 00:11:22,099 [GASPS] 265 00:11:22,101 --> 00:11:23,301 [GRUNTS] 266 00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:30,741 [CLAYFACE ROARING] 267 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,281 [BEEPING] 268 00:11:40,621 --> 00:11:43,021 [CLAYFACE ROARS] 269 00:11:49,591 --> 00:11:50,641 [SNAPS] 270 00:11:57,471 --> 00:12:00,299 [GRUNTS] Ive, there you are. 271 00:12:00,301 --> 00:12:02,399 Oh, wow, you rocked Superman. 272 00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:03,431 Anyway, listen, 273 00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:06,162 I know the real you is in there somewhere. 274 00:12:13,651 --> 00:12:15,221 Well, that's new. 275 00:12:16,221 --> 00:12:18,621 [HARLEY SCREAMS] 276 00:12:23,431 --> 00:12:25,189 [SIGHS] 277 00:12:25,191 --> 00:12:28,429 I guess Poison Ivy should've... hedged her bet. 278 00:12:28,431 --> 00:12:29,571 Hmm. 279 00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:37,069 [GRAPPLE GUN FIRING] 280 00:12:37,071 --> 00:12:39,309 Okie d-d-d-dokie, that should do it. 281 00:12:39,311 --> 00:12:40,739 Give her a whirl, Mr. Kite Man. 282 00:12:40,741 --> 00:12:43,279 [DEVICE WHIRRS, BEEPS] 283 00:12:43,281 --> 00:12:45,041 - [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] - [KITE MAN GRUNTS] 284 00:12:46,051 --> 00:12:48,178 - Sy? - [STATIC] 285 00:12:48,180 --> 00:12:50,979 Oh, frick, I killed him. 286 00:12:50,981 --> 00:12:52,350 [SY] No way, Jose! 287 00:12:52,352 --> 00:12:54,489 Synet is online! 288 00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:55,851 Where are you? 289 00:12:55,853 --> 00:12:58,389 [SY] Hey. Let's build this anti-mind-control device 290 00:12:58,391 --> 00:13:00,729 and then if there's time, we'll make some fresh pasta. 291 00:13:00,731 --> 00:13:02,381 Hell, yeah! 292 00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:09,069 [HARLEY] Oh, great! Gang's all here. 293 00:13:09,071 --> 00:13:11,340 We don't need to settle this with violence. You know... 294 00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:13,141 Hmm. That's a personal first. 295 00:13:13,143 --> 00:13:15,412 Quinn's right. Wayne Tower has seen enough damage. 296 00:13:15,414 --> 00:13:17,013 And I believe a metahuman battle 297 00:13:17,015 --> 00:13:19,244 falls outside Mr. Wayne's insurance coverage. 298 00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:21,256 He's a friend, I'm just saying. 299 00:13:22,081 --> 00:13:24,331 [HARLEY GRUNTS] 300 00:13:28,461 --> 00:13:29,461 [POISON IVY GRUNTS] 301 00:13:30,952 --> 00:13:32,621 Bats, you got her all tied up. 302 00:13:32,623 --> 00:13:34,629 Leave her alone and go stop Psycho. 303 00:13:34,631 --> 00:13:36,029 I'm sorry, Harley. 304 00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:37,429 She's too dangerous. 305 00:13:37,431 --> 00:13:38,769 She needs to be taken down. 306 00:13:38,771 --> 00:13:40,639 She could escape and kill thousands 307 00:13:40,641 --> 00:13:42,539 before Dr. Psycho is neutralized. 308 00:13:42,541 --> 00:13:44,439 I can't let you kill her. 309 00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,809 I love her more than anything in this whole world. 310 00:13:46,811 --> 00:13:48,310 I'm not gonna kill her. 311 00:13:48,312 --> 00:13:51,042 I'm just gonna put her in the phantom zone 312 00:13:51,044 --> 00:13:52,649 where she'll rest for all of eternity. 313 00:13:52,651 --> 00:13:53,779 Then, send me there, too! 314 00:13:53,781 --> 00:13:55,279 Uh, all right. 315 00:13:55,281 --> 00:13:57,789 Wow, this is so dramatic. 316 00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:59,619 It's like a CW show, 317 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,319 if the cast was less hot. 318 00:14:01,321 --> 00:14:03,459 Yeah, you guys are right. Ivy's too dangerous to... 319 00:14:03,461 --> 00:14:04,519 To be left alive. 320 00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:07,228 You should have killed her when you had the chance. Because now? 321 00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:09,829 You're right where I want you. 322 00:14:09,831 --> 00:14:11,601 [WONDER WOMAN GASPS, COUGHS] 323 00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:15,651 [GASPS] 324 00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:23,023 Wonder Woman, you look bangin'. 325 00:14:23,025 --> 00:14:24,034 - What? - Batman, 326 00:14:24,036 --> 00:14:26,549 are those pecs real or is it just the suit? [CHUCKLES PLAYFULLY] 327 00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:27,649 Gross. 328 00:14:27,651 --> 00:14:29,849 These pecs are definitely real. 329 00:14:29,851 --> 00:14:32,519 Give them a grab. Don't be shy. 330 00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:35,289 Oh, gross. Did you just spray them with Ivy's love pheromones? 331 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,659 Maybe we should see what's under these costumes. 332 00:14:38,661 --> 00:14:39,730 [WONDER WOMAN CHUCKLES] 333 00:14:39,732 --> 00:14:41,408 Or not. A lot of not. Please, not! 334 00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:43,199 [SUPERMAN LAUGHS] You know I can see through that, right? 335 00:14:43,201 --> 00:14:44,371 [GASPS, YELPS] 336 00:14:46,671 --> 00:14:50,469 [DISTANT WHISTLING] 337 00:14:50,471 --> 00:14:51,669 [RIDDLER AND DR. PSYCHO LAUGHING] 338 00:14:51,671 --> 00:14:54,379 Yes! The heroes are defeated! 339 00:14:54,381 --> 00:14:55,809 Ivy's bringing me Harley, 340 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,679 my ramen takeout's almost here, 341 00:14:57,681 --> 00:14:59,749 and the Earth is about to be mine! 342 00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:03,789 I'm the most powerful person on the fucking planet! 343 00:15:03,791 --> 00:15:04,919 [DR. PSYCHO] Ahhh! 344 00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:07,519 I've returned to collect what is owed to me. 345 00:15:07,521 --> 00:15:09,661 Where is Harley Quinn? 346 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,459 [DR. PSYCHO] Yeah. So, it's mostly gadgets 347 00:15:13,461 --> 00:15:15,429 like drones and scented alarm clocks. 348 00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:17,129 The kind of stuff you find in the sky mall. 349 00:15:17,131 --> 00:15:19,599 And who is Orange Julius? 350 00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:20,669 [RIDDLER LAUGHS] 351 00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:21,799 - She's here. - See? 352 00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:23,739 Harley Quinn, as promised. 353 00:15:23,741 --> 00:15:26,439 Psycho, release me, you tiny, giant asshole! 354 00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:27,540 Shut up. 355 00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:29,539 Kill her now and I shall call forth 356 00:15:29,541 --> 00:15:31,479 the armies of Apokolips 357 00:15:31,481 --> 00:15:33,119 to enslave this planet 358 00:15:33,121 --> 00:15:34,649 as we agreed upon. 359 00:15:34,651 --> 00:15:36,789 Choose not to and it's your head. 360 00:15:36,791 --> 00:15:38,789 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. 361 00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:39,999 Cool your jets, Big D. 362 00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:41,483 I have been thinking about something, 363 00:15:41,485 --> 00:15:44,589 I'm more than just a "rule Earth" kind of guy, all right? 364 00:15:44,591 --> 00:15:46,599 I could rule solar systems for you, 365 00:15:46,601 --> 00:15:48,259 goddamn galaxies. 366 00:15:48,261 --> 00:15:50,169 [CHUCKLES] Unlikely. 367 00:15:50,171 --> 00:15:51,424 Listen, I get it, I get it. 368 00:15:51,426 --> 00:15:54,267 You probably think I'm just a run-of-the-mill supervillain 369 00:15:54,269 --> 00:15:55,838 but I got that charisma, 370 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,409 that je ne sais quoi that you're looking for in a right-hand man. 371 00:15:59,411 --> 00:16:02,539 Let me show ya. I'm about to do something epic! 372 00:16:02,541 --> 00:16:03,849 - Explain. - [DEVICE BEEPS] 373 00:16:03,851 --> 00:16:05,409 You see the living weed over there? 374 00:16:05,411 --> 00:16:07,649 That right there is Poison Ivy. 375 00:16:07,651 --> 00:16:10,349 Let me give you some backstory. 376 00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:12,140 Harley, I made the anti-mind control device. 377 00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:14,389 Well, actually Sy turned into a cake mixer 378 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,630 and he made it... It's kind of a funny story... 379 00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:17,831 that we don't have time for. 380 00:16:17,833 --> 00:16:20,599 We only had materials for two of these bad boys. 381 00:16:20,601 --> 00:16:22,969 Put the other in Ivy's ear if my plan doesn't work. 382 00:16:22,971 --> 00:16:24,969 This is the plan. 383 00:16:24,971 --> 00:16:27,099 What the hell is your plan? 384 00:16:27,101 --> 00:16:28,300 True love. 385 00:16:28,302 --> 00:16:30,869 Pamela Isley. It's me. Chuck. 386 00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,281 What is a "Chuck"? 387 00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,841 Ivy, I'm your fiancé. Your soulmate. 388 00:16:34,843 --> 00:16:38,281 I believe our love is so powerful, that when I kiss you, 389 00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:39,551 it will break Psycho's spell. 390 00:16:39,553 --> 00:16:44,203 Because true love conquers all. 391 00:16:46,863 --> 00:16:49,421 [GRUNTS] 392 00:16:49,423 --> 00:16:52,501 As I was saying, Ivy and Harley are best friends. 393 00:16:52,503 --> 00:16:54,513 So it's gonna be very poetic 394 00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,531 when Harley is killed not only by her friend... 395 00:16:57,533 --> 00:17:00,341 but her secret lover! 396 00:17:00,343 --> 00:17:01,441 You know? 397 00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:03,211 Of course I fucking know! 398 00:17:03,213 --> 00:17:05,371 You think I'm going to mind control Ivy 399 00:17:05,373 --> 00:17:07,211 and not read her mind? 400 00:17:07,213 --> 00:17:10,151 You don't buy a Ferrari and leave it in the garage! 401 00:17:10,153 --> 00:17:11,911 We are not secret lovers! 402 00:17:11,913 --> 00:17:13,661 It was a couple times and it was amazing 403 00:17:13,663 --> 00:17:15,521 and Ivy broke it off and I'm totally cool with it! 404 00:17:15,523 --> 00:17:18,151 Enough! Stop trying to lower the stakes. 405 00:17:18,153 --> 00:17:20,801 Hey. Pitting two lovers against each other, 406 00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:22,321 like I said, epic. 407 00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:26,601 I am mildly intrigued by evil usurping love. 408 00:17:26,603 --> 00:17:29,331 Oh, look at the big words on Darkseid. 409 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,931 Someone did well on their SATs. 410 00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:33,303 Ive, we love each other too much to do this! [GRUNTS] 411 00:17:35,573 --> 00:17:36,743 [LAUGHS EVILLY] 412 00:17:38,343 --> 00:17:39,513 [HARLEY GRUNTS] 413 00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:42,883 [SIGHS] Don't make me hurt you. 414 00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:45,453 [GRUNTING] 415 00:17:47,323 --> 00:17:49,823 Okay, don't make me hurt you again. 416 00:17:59,293 --> 00:18:00,663 - [GRUNTS] - [BAT CLATTERS] 417 00:18:01,933 --> 00:18:03,203 [STRAINING, GRUNTING] 418 00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:06,541 [LAUGHS] Isn't this great? 419 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,271 Friends fighting to the death. 420 00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:10,373 I mean, this is the stuff that gets you off, right? 421 00:18:12,313 --> 00:18:14,283 [BOTH GRUNTING] 422 00:18:16,883 --> 00:18:18,353 [GRUNTING] 423 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:21,623 [HARLEY STRAINING] 424 00:18:23,893 --> 00:18:28,093 - [GRUNTS] - [DEVICE CLATTERS] 425 00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:32,461 Yes! Kill her! Kill Harley! 426 00:18:32,463 --> 00:18:37,463 [STRAINING] Here... goes... true... love... 427 00:18:40,743 --> 00:18:45,043 Okay! Mr. Johnson's up! Girl on girl. So hot. 428 00:18:45,913 --> 00:18:48,611 Holy shit. True love worked. 429 00:18:48,613 --> 00:18:50,511 What are you, 13? 430 00:18:50,513 --> 00:18:53,251 Psycho, focus. [SNAPS FINGERS] Focus! 431 00:18:53,253 --> 00:18:55,759 Fine. I command you 432 00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:57,861 to kill Harley Quinn. 433 00:18:59,863 --> 00:19:01,721 [GRUNTING] Uh, come on! 434 00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:04,491 And I command you to ess my vee. 435 00:19:04,493 --> 00:19:05,931 "Ess my vee"? 436 00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,731 [DR. PSYCHO GRUNTS] What the fuck? 437 00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:10,431 [GROANS] What the hell is going on? 438 00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:12,631 Guess you ain't as strong as you thought, Psycho. 439 00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:13,702 You're not an A-lister. 440 00:19:13,704 --> 00:19:15,671 Just a goon with delusions of grandeur. 441 00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:17,811 Have you failed me, human? 442 00:19:17,813 --> 00:19:21,641 No! You think I need Ivy to kill her? Come on. 443 00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:25,351 I'll kill both of 'em. I am an all-powerful man! 444 00:19:25,353 --> 00:19:28,251 - Come and get me! - [BOTH] Sure. 445 00:19:28,253 --> 00:19:29,691 - [DR. PSYCHO GRUNTS] - [OBJECTS CLATTER] 446 00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:31,551 You're not all-powerful, douchebag. 447 00:19:31,553 --> 00:19:33,921 You're just a loser who puts on a hat to look cool. 448 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,391 Basically, everyone on Tinder. 449 00:19:35,393 --> 00:19:36,700 Yeah a lot of hats on Tinder. 450 00:19:36,702 --> 00:19:37,771 - A lot of hats. - Oh! 451 00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:39,701 Oh! It's good to have my very bitter friend back. 452 00:19:39,703 --> 00:19:41,431 It's over for ya, buddy! 453 00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:42,871 [GRUNTS] 454 00:19:42,873 --> 00:19:44,731 - [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES] - [DR. PSYCHO GROANS] 455 00:19:44,733 --> 00:19:46,841 Harley Quinn! 456 00:19:46,843 --> 00:19:49,641 [NERVOUSLY] Hi, Mr. Darkseid, sir. 457 00:19:49,643 --> 00:19:51,228 I'm really sorry about bringing 458 00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:53,130 those Parademons to Earth and not using them. 459 00:19:53,132 --> 00:19:55,112 See, I was doing it for the wrong reasons and... 460 00:19:55,114 --> 00:19:58,681 You have proved yourself even more formidable than I thought. 461 00:19:58,683 --> 00:20:01,207 - The deal stands. - "The deal"? 462 00:20:01,209 --> 00:20:02,791 On your command... 463 00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:04,591 - [DEVICE BEEPS] - ... my armies shall spring forth 464 00:20:04,593 --> 00:20:06,021 and enslave the planet. 465 00:20:06,023 --> 00:20:08,993 The Earth is yours, Harley Quinn. 466 00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,302 Thanks, but no thanks. 467 00:20:13,304 --> 00:20:15,331 Psycho, the creep that he is, he was right. 468 00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:17,701 I don't wanna rule Earth on a throne of skulls. 469 00:20:17,703 --> 00:20:19,541 I'm not a real supervillain. 470 00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:21,801 Hell, I'm not sure I'm even a bad guy anymore. 471 00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:23,242 All I've been doing is reacting. 472 00:20:23,244 --> 00:20:25,781 Getting in the Legion of Doom to show up Joker. 473 00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:27,741 Stopping the Injustice League to get revenge. 474 00:20:27,743 --> 00:20:29,681 It's 'cause, deep inside, 475 00:20:29,683 --> 00:20:32,021 I didn't know what I really wanted, until now. 476 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,791 Your indecision baffles and angers me. 477 00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:37,791 For this, I shall return one day 478 00:20:37,793 --> 00:20:40,961 and terraform your planet into a scrapyard. 479 00:20:40,963 --> 00:20:42,861 Well, that seems ominous. 480 00:20:42,863 --> 00:20:45,091 All right, pop back in your Boom Tube. 481 00:20:45,093 --> 00:20:47,061 Darkseid is... 482 00:20:47,063 --> 00:20:48,563 leaving. 483 00:20:50,603 --> 00:20:53,141 Ivy, you call me out on all my bullshit, 484 00:20:53,143 --> 00:20:54,542 but you don't judge me for it. 485 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,401 We have fun whether we're sitting on the couch 486 00:20:56,403 --> 00:20:58,511 or murdering a group of investment bankers. 487 00:20:58,513 --> 00:21:01,081 You showed me what the best version of myself could be 488 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,751 and you held me to it. 489 00:21:02,753 --> 00:21:04,451 I'm in love with you. 490 00:21:04,453 --> 00:21:06,151 I want to be with you. 491 00:21:06,153 --> 00:21:09,421 And, yes, it might be messy. It might not work. 492 00:21:09,423 --> 00:21:12,091 It might even destroy our friendship forever. 493 00:21:12,093 --> 00:21:13,891 But love is a risk. 494 00:21:13,893 --> 00:21:15,251 I'd rather risk our friendship 495 00:21:15,253 --> 00:21:17,031 than pretend these feelings aren't real. 496 00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:18,761 You just, you don't give up on love. 497 00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:20,101 Take a risk, 498 00:21:20,103 --> 00:21:22,771 take a leap of faith, and be with me. 499 00:21:22,773 --> 00:21:24,131 [KITE MAN GROANS] 500 00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:26,171 Hey, did my kiss work? 501 00:21:26,173 --> 00:21:27,771 Where am I? 502 00:21:27,773 --> 00:21:30,511 [DR. PSYCHO LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 503 00:21:30,513 --> 00:21:33,011 We're laughing? Are we friends again? 504 00:21:33,013 --> 00:21:34,541 What is so funny? 505 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,711 Aw, man, I hate missing inside jokes! 506 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,611 Oh, don't worry, 507 00:21:38,613 --> 00:21:40,051 I'll tell you. 508 00:21:40,053 --> 00:21:41,383 [DR. PSYCHO SCREAMS] 509 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,761 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 510 00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:47,393 [POISON IVY AND HARLEY MOANING] 511 00:21:49,593 --> 00:21:50,861 Whoa! 512 00:21:50,863 --> 00:21:53,101 Oh, this is gonna affect the crew dynamic 513 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:56,431 in a messy and complicated manner. 514 00:21:56,433 --> 00:22:00,473 I already had a feeling. The tension was palpable. 515 00:22:02,043 --> 00:22:04,543 [LAUGHS] She's still limber. 516 00:22:07,113 --> 00:22:09,611 [DR. PSYCHO GRUNTING] 517 00:22:09,613 --> 00:22:11,181 Ooh! I need a cigarette. 518 00:22:11,183 --> 00:22:12,383 [GROANS] 519 00:22:17,793 --> 00:22:18,793 Um... 520 00:22:22,599 --> 00:22:25,599 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 37053

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