All language subtitles for American Dad s17e10_English

Stan, are you entering
the names?

Usually you need me
to do that.

Actually, I watched
a tutorial on my phone,

so I can do it now.

Player one -- Stan.

Oh, little typo, not going
to beat myself up.

Want me to find you a 6-pound
ball in the kids' section?

No need.

That's my pink baby
on ball island over there.

Well, I'll go talk
to the DJ then

and have him play
your bowling song, "Disco Duck."

It's not my bowling song.

It's my get-loose song,
and I've already texted the DJ.

This goes out to Stam,
who sent me a text

asking for that Dusk-o Dick

and sent me a picture
of his shoes.

Well, you're doing
everything wrong,

but you're getting
everything you want.

It's the Stam Smith way,
baby.

* Mama, I said,
"Send me a plumber" *

* Ha ha ha ha ha

* Disco,
disco duck *

You want to feel old?

I'm the kid
from "The Sixth Sense."

* Disco duck

* Good morning, U.S.A.

* I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day *

* The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face *

* And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race *

* Oh, boy, it's swell to say

* Good --
* Good morning, U.S.A.

Aah!

* Good morning, U.S.A.

**

Ready to turn in?

Your Sleepytime Long Island
iced tea is ready.

Nah, that's a little heavy
before bed.

I'll just SodaStream
some Fireball.

[ Whooshing ]

[ Sighs ]

When did my husband
become such a big boy?

Seems like he needs me less
and less these days.

[ Gulping ]

Ooh, shooting star.
Make a wish.

I wish Stan still needed me.

I wish I had a closer
relationship with the family

and they were made
out of candy.

Sorry for blocking the TV.

This whole house
is massive dead zone.

I mean, we can send a man
to the Moon,

but I can't look up the lyrics
to "Cotton Eye Joe"

with just eight porns
running in the background?

Oh, wait.
I've got five bars.

[ Moaning on phone ]
Seven bars?

10 bars?!

[ Moaning stops ]
Sorry, mute that.

26 bars?!

It's like I'm linked
directly to the satellite.

[ Both gasp ]
Dad!

A shooting star
just hit the house.

Everybody, make a wish.

Is everybody candy?

Ohh.

**

With several months
of physical therapy,

your body should
fully return to normal.

Of course, you'll
never walk again.

-What?
-Of course he'll walk again.

Big maybe, but if you're
dead set on walking,

your insurance does pay
for a physical therapist

to come to your house.

Oh. Oh, no, no.
My husband needs me.

This is what I wished for.

Ah, yes.
I forgot.

This was the result
of a wish.

Well, you've got a long road
ahead of you,

but you know
what they say.

Laughter is
the best medicine.

Louie Anderson tickets!

Wait.
These are for last month.

That's the joke.
Get it?

Old tickets.
[ Laughs ]

I sincerely want you
to get better.

Mwah, mwah, mwah.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
this bird's got to fly.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, okay!

Okay, I messed up.
Help!

I thought this would be funny,
but it's not.

I don't want to die.
I can't hold on.

I'm slipping.
I'm -- Aaaah!

[ Farts ]

We're on
the first floor.

That's the joke.

Ew, tough crowd.
You know what?

I think I left the cure for
paralysis down in the cellar.

Get me out of here.

Something's got to work.

Rubber chicken, nah.

Whoopee cushion, nah.

Ooh, a doctor could be funny.

It's not a satellite.

I think it's
a robot swan.

It says "satellite"
on it.

Wow. Ever since this swan
crushed your dad,

you've been a real grump.
-What's up?

This man is here to pick up
his satellite.

I guessed that he was Korean,
and I was right.

Tuttle?
Tuttle?Tuttle?

The satellite belongs
to a Korean TV station

that monitors Tuttle.

He doesn't know that
he's the star of Korea's

most popular reality show.

It's called "Sad Fatso,"
like "The Truman Show"

but with a sad fatso.
[ Chuckles ]

Our viewers
are very cruel.

[ Whistles ]

[ Engine whirring ]

Well, that's the end
of that adventure.

Or is it actually
just beginning?

Oh, my God.
There you go again.

Could you agree with me once?

I feel like you're always
standing behind me

waiting to say,
"Actually, it's the opposite.

Actually, it's the opposite."

I just think we could go
to Tuttle's house

and steal the spotlight.

If they like Tuttle,
wait till they see us.

I'm in. This will show Snot
that I do have star power.

Yeah, I got to prove it
to Snot, too.

So it's decided.

It was a swan.

Here it comes.

Open wide.

Shouldn't I
be feeding myself?

My left arm
is completely healed.

-No.
-You're right.

Don't look so down.

If you finish your yogurt,
you'll get a trophy.

Trophy?
I'm a grown man.

[ Gasps ]
Goo-goo-ga-ga.

Baby wants.
What's the deal?

I just have to finish
the yogurt?

And your grapes.

Aw, no!
No grapes.

-Yes, grapes.
-No yogurt either.

Trophy for nothing.

That's not how
it works, Stan.

I hate it.

Put the grapes in the yogurt
so I don't see 'em.

**

Must walk.

Obtain item.

Good job, Stan.

-Where'd you come from?
-I was right behind you.

Wait, did you think the trophy
was moving by itself?

I don't know, Francine.
Maybe you didn't notice,

but I only recently
got really into trophies.

I don't know everything
they can do yet.

**

[ Grunting ]

**

Wow, Stan.

You're 100%.

I couldn't have done
any of this without you.

We're a team.
I love helping you.

I think you're ready to go
back to work.

Absolutely...

not without my baby.

Smith, what a rando thing
to say.

Also, what is your wife
doing here?

You can't have a civilian
in the briefing room.

But she nursed me
back to health.

My body is whole again,

but my soul still craves
her desperately.

I need her emotionally,
spiritually, physically.

Ever since regaining
sensation in my extremities,

I've become
highly orgasmic.

Yes, yes, I know.

I was CC'd on all
your e-mails to HR.

Smith, escort your wife
to the parking lot,

and don't come back
unless you're alone.

I won't...

be back, that is,
because I quit.

Yeah!
Wait, you're quitting?

I don't need this job.

I just need you.

-You're right.
-Plus what are they going to do?

Stop paying me?
Take away my company car?

We totally showed him.

We sure did.

Do you think it was
a first place showing him?

Stan, are you angling
for a trophy?

[ Squeals ]
All right.

But you're out a job now,

so let's not go crazy
buying trophies.

Oh, no, no.
Of course.

[ Ding ]

Buying the whole trophy store
was the right move.

Plus now we both
have jobs.

And every time
we buy a trophy,

we're the ones
getting paid for it.

Oh, Stan.

[ Both moaning ]

You even taste like trophy.

I know what my man likes.

[ Both moaning ]

Opening this shop together
was so smart.

Now we can be together
all the time.

True. But you don't know
this about me,

and I've never
admitted it to anyone,

but I've never run
a trophy shop before.

That's fine.
We'll lean on each other.

And especially
you can lean on me.

Like it did
in the back room?

[ Chuckles ] Oh, Stan.

You're making me want to
give you the small business.

Then I better call
the Better Business Bur-oh,

oh, oh!

And I'll liquidate
your assets.

-Excuse me.
-What?

You've been here for an hour.
Can't you just pick one?

I have.

Smart choice.

That one figured heavily
in our most recent lovemakings.

Let me just give it a, uh...

Ready for Wimbledon.

What's with all these
wishy-washy customers?

-Who needs them?
-Actually, we kind of do.

We need the money.

We paid all your medical bills
out of pocket.

Out of pocket?

I got something coming out
of my pocket.

[ Both moaning ]

**

Remember, gang,
Tuttle can't --

Shut up, Klaus.
I'm in charge now.

Remember, gang, Tuttle can't...
believe...

it's not...butter.
Klaus?

He can't find out
he's on a show,

or it'll end,
and we won't get famous.

Famous Amos little cookies.
Yes, back in charge.

[ Gasps ] The Smiths,
what a nice surprise!

Come in.

Excuse the mess.

After filling out a depression
survey at Kimchi Hut,

I started getting free stuff
in the mail,

like this new
security system.

I wasn't expecting company.

Let me see if I have
any sweet potatoes left.

Quick, now is our chance
to finally be Korean famous.

What do we do?

Uh...

Say something,
anything.

Korea diarrhea.

-Oh, God!
-Not that!

We need to regroup
and think of what to do.

Don't go.

I just found a tiny mouse
in my bed,

and I need help
naming him.

**

Where are you, baby?
I need you.

There's a guy here
looking at the trophies.

What if he tries to talk to me?
This one's nice.

Oh, God!
It's happening!

[ Phone beeps ]
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I-I-I love that one,
uh, a car mechanic

holding an axle
over his head.

I think it's actually
a weight lifting trophy.

Okay, look, I don't know
if I can do this right now, man.

You don't get
what the trophy is,

and I'm getting agitated
trying to explain it to you.

Dude, I just want to pay
for the trophy.

You know what?
We're closed right now.

This is weird.

Oh, yeah?
Your face looks a -- a cookie.

Not my best line, but results
speak for themselves.

Ah.

Stan, I pop out
for a quick pickle,

and you're chasing
customers away?

I know.
I just freaked out.

You weren't here,
and I panicked.

Oh, don't you ever leave me
alone again. I love you.

Well, it feels good
to be needed,

but we also need
to run a business.

Okay, new plan -- I live
under your dress

where everything's
is perfect forever.

Tuttle: What are we going
to do with you,

you sweet little potato?

Mash ya, fry ya, grill ya,
bake ya, twice bake ya?

What's that?
You think I should kill myself?

Not so sweet after all,
are ya, potato?

-Hyah!
-Hut, hut, hut, hey-ah!

-Hyah!
-Hut, hut, hey-ah!

**

Tuttle loves it.
Hear that, Korea?

Korea?

Uh, that's hip slang.

Hear that, Korea.

Like when people yell,
"Brooklyn!"

It just sounds good.

Brooklyn!

Ew.

Memphis Stormfront here

with "Stormfront
at Your Storefront,"

where I, Stormfront, visit
a local business' storefront.

Although we're already inside.
Never mind.

Let's get on with it.

What's the most
exciting thing

about owning
your own business?

Interacting
with the local community.

I mean, we've met most
of little league coaches.

Sorry, Memphis.
The most exciting part --

these parts.

Stan, can you please cool it
for 2 seconds?

If we don't get some customers,
we're going to go under,

and I want to stay
in business.

And this is what I want.

I'm serious, Stan.

You were saying?

This shop is a special
place for us.

For just us.

And we'd love to
share it with you.

-But we can't.
-Of course we can.

But it's very expensive and
very far from where you live.

And who needs
a trophy anyway? Grow up.

That's it, Stan!
You're fired!

Fired?
You can't fire me.

Yes, I can.
I'm the boss.

Well, I'm the boss, too.
I'll just rehire me.

Sure, that could have worked
before you got fired,

but now you have
no authority here.

God, you're so good
at business.

Bright side -- now that
we're not coworkers,

we can date in the open.
We don't have to tiptoe around.

Get out, Stan!

[ Crying ]

You two are really
cute together.

I know, right?

[ Crying ]

No.

For the last time,
this is a trophy shop.

I don't sell pickles.

The sign outside clearly says
"Stan's Trophies."

But you didn't cover up
"Pickle House."

That's the only part
the lights up.

It's called an eye-grabber,
and it got you in here, right?

-Yeah, to buy pickles!
-Oh, my God.

I-I can't explain business

to a pickle-sucking idiot.

You're the idiot.

There's already a trophy
shop across the street.

I know.
It's my wife's.

That's why I turned this pickle
shop into a trophy store.

I'm putting her out of business

so she'll have to come
crawling back to me like a worm.

It's all very healthy.

You know what?
[ Sighs ]

If it'll help you two
get back together,

I will take a trophy.

I don't know where to get those.
My wife did all the ordering.

Sorry, I have to ask.

How did this all start?

A satellite landed on me.

Dang, she's got
a lot of business.

And it's about to become mine.

[ Horn honks ]

Oh, I guess it does kind of
look like a pickle.

Don't pay these sky-high
prices for a trophy.

Why? You want us to save
our money for pickles?

I like pickles.
You selling pickles?

No, just listen to my rap.
* I'm the pickle king

* Of course, trophies
are my thing *

* When I get 'em in stock

* There'll be a line
around the block *

* So don't miss a beat,
head across the street *

* And show me how to fill out
a trophy order sheet *

Pickle mania.

Stan,
what are you doing?

You trying to steal
my customers?

I'm simply trying to spread
the word about my

Pickle Days sells event
where all trophies are half off.

Okay, I don't love that you're
trying to hurt my business,

but it's nice that you didn't
need me to do it with you.

But I do need you.

Everyone looks at me and sees
a highly successful

trophy salesman,
but inside this pickle costume

is a helpless man who doesn't
even have any trophies to sell.

Stan, I think
you should go home.

Yes, let's go home.

That's not what I said.

I can't go home.

I have to stay here and make
a living for both of us.

Until when?

Until I turn this trophy shop
into a success.

A smashing success?

Yes, that would be nice.

You might just get
your wish, Francine...

about the smashing,
that is.

Good, I'm glad
you're finally listening.

Oh, I hear you.
[ Laughing ]

Smash, smash, smash.

**

[ Car door opens, closes ]

**

Francine's always
going to be too busy for me

as long as her trophy shop's
in business.

**

No pickles here,
just us shadows.

**

It's time to smash, smash,
smash the competition.

**

Looks simple enough.

[ Clangs ]
Ow, my hands.

Oh, plus it loud.

I need my wife.

Francine.

**

Pickle man's real?

I don't want to die!

[ Tires squeal ]

My plan's working.

Yes, yes.

I never measured the pickle.
My one mistake.

[ Gunshot ]

What are you doing?

I'm sending you back to hell,
pickle man!

**

Are you crazy?

There's pressurized
brine tanks in there.

[ Gunshots ]

**

Aah!

[ Door closes ]

I got a newspaper
from Korea.

We can finally read reviews of
our appearance on Tuttle's show.

Now, who can read Korean?

I can try.

The review's online.
We read it already.

They hate us.

"'Sad Fatso' tanks
in the ratings.

New characters suck."

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.

They didn't even
mention me.

[ Knock on door ]

I baked us all
a friendship cake.

It's rainbow inside.

We don't care
about you anymore.

**

Don't look at me.

**

**

No, Al.

Yes, Al.

[ Speaks Korean ]

**

[ All shouting ]

[ Murmuring ]

**

**

[ Sobbing ]

[ Cheering ]

**

[ Groans ]

Honey, you're awake.

Oh, good.
I'm in the hospital.

Oh, this is great news.

You can nurse me back
to health again.

Actually, Stan,
I won't be doing that.

What?
But -- But I need you.

No, Stan,
you only think you do,

and I'm sorry I made you
completely reliant on me.

So this time, let's leave it
to the professionals.

A professional
window washer?

[ Screeching ]

You're in good hands.
I'm going to take off.

[ Screeching ]

Please stop.
I'm done squeegeeing.

Now I just got to get these
little stubborn bugs off.

Plink, plink,
plink, plink, plink.

[ Water running ]

[ Faucet squeaks, spits ]

[ Light switch clicks ]

**

[ Floorboards creak ]

**

[ Floorboards creaking ]

**

[ Door creaks ]

[ Maniacal laughter ]

No, I killed you.

I killed you!

[ Screams ]

Bye-bye!
See you soon.

**