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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,733 Uno, dos, one, two, tres, cuatro! 2 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,032 Hey, wooly bully 3 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:35,993 Watch it now, watch it 4 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,121 Here it comes Here it comes 5 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,127 Watch it now He gets you 6 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,469 Matty told Hatty 7 00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:56,556 About a thing she saw 8 00:00:57,850 --> 00:00:59,976 It had two big horns 9 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,979 And a wooly jaw 10 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,314 Wooly bully 11 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,526 Wooly bully That's right 12 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:12,905 Wooly bully, wooly bully 13 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,824 Wooly bully 14 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,746 Hatty told Matty 15 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:22,248 Let's don't take no chance 16 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,002 Let's not be L seven 17 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,755 Come and learn to dance 18 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:33,760 Wooly bully 19 00:01:35,471 --> 00:01:40,016 Wooly bully, wooly bully Wooly bully 20 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,518 Watch it now Watch it, watch it 21 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,272 Hey 22 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,194 Hey, that's right 23 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:55,239 Right, right, right 24 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:17,345 Hey, wooly bully Watch it now 25 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,473 Here it comes Here it comes 26 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,489 Matty told Hatty 27 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,033 About a thing she saw... 28 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,370 - Freddie! - I dropped something. 29 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,163 Ralph, talk to him. 30 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,083 Listen to your father. 31 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,544 Come on. From there we can see Cape Cod. 32 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,670 We were just on Cape Cod. 33 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,589 We could have stayed there. I would've saved $12. 34 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,759 Allen, don't you want to see Cape Cod? 35 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,764 All right, darling. You know where we are if you change your mind. 36 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,783 Allen! 37 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,957 Oh, my God! 38 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,194 Thanks a lot. Thanks. 39 00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:01,449 You okay, Allen? Lend me a towel. A towel. Thanks. 40 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,284 Why did you do that? 41 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:18,716 Come on, son. 42 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:42,156 Augie, pick up line four, please. 43 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,247 Where are my cherries? 44 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,874 Mr. McCullough, they came in, 45 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,126 but there was a fog upstate and the highway... 46 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:55,503 Where are my cherries? 47 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,171 If I don't have my cherries in five minutes, 48 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,799 you don't get your money and you starve and you die. 49 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,884 Jerry? 50 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:06,180 Jerry, where the hell are McCullough's cherries? 51 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,933 They're here, but you gotta take a look at this stuff. 52 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:12,603 Ah, Mr. McCullough, be right back. 53 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,064 Where are my cherries? 54 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,694 Augie, where the hell did you grow these things? Under your arms? 55 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,238 Jesus, snails with stems. Forget it. Get them outta here! 56 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,573 - George, get them out of here. - You got it. 57 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,578 Bauer. Thank you. Honey, what's up? 58 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,707 We get a lot of rain and the cherries get a little slime. 59 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:35,793 - I can't hear you. - You agreed to take these off our hands. 60 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:38,921 - When the hell did I agree to that? - Not you, your brother. 61 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,549 Ah, all right. 62 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,509 Victoria, I can't hear you. 63 00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:46,012 What I'm doing is important, too. I'll call you right back. 64 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,305 My brother bought your slimy cherries? 65 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,641 Yeah. Me and Freddie. We were playing poker. 66 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,643 He had two pair. I had a flush. 67 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:55,855 He had no cash, so we worked this out. 68 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,657 Who put this goddamn fruit here? 69 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,410 I'm all right, if anyone's concerned. 70 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:10,953 Good morning, Freddie. 71 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,789 Allen! Allen! 72 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,916 - I want a simple "yes" or "no." - One more second, Mr. McCullough. 73 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:20,254 I made it. I'm in Penthouse magazine. They printed my letter! 74 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,090 - They printed my letter. - Listen, I'm very happy. 75 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,884 I'm in the Forum section. 76 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,803 The story's entitled A Lesbian No More. 77 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:30,181 They printed every word I wrote. It's a beautiful story. 78 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,724 Here. I want copies for everybody. 79 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,602 Augie, good to see you! 80 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,395 Great game. We gotta do that more. 81 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,731 - Freddie, can we talk? - Great poker player. 82 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,068 - Cheats like a son of a bitch! - Freddie, you and I have to talk. 83 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,361 Missing petty cash? It was the cleaning girl. 84 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,696 I don't care about that. 85 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:46,864 - You don't? - No. 86 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,199 Then it was me. I admit the whole thing. 87 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,326 Well, I still don't care about it, Freddie. 88 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,079 I love this guy! Do you hear me? I love him. 89 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,663 - Gimme a kiss. - Oh, Freddie. 90 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,748 Give your older brother a kiss. 91 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,792 What's the matter? You're too big to... 92 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,255 I love this guy's head. 93 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,883 Curly, here's a buck. Wash my car. 94 00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:09,470 Bauer! Where are my... 95 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,388 McCullough, your cherries, yes. 96 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:12,515 Believe me when I tell you this. 97 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,683 You're not gonna be satisfied with what we have for you. 98 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:18,104 Okay, Bauer. You're ruined! Everyone's gonna know you left me dry. 99 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,231 You're finished, you're a ghost in this business. 100 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,442 - How'd you like bananas at cost? - Deal! 101 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,278 Jerry, set up our friend, Mr. McCullough, bananas at cost. 102 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:29,406 Allen, wait. I've got to get out early. 103 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,909 Gee, right. Today's the big day. 104 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,286 Don't forget. Ushers have to be early, too. 105 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,539 - I'll be there. - Okay. 106 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:42,253 Will someone get those Jonathans off the truck? 107 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,048 Any messages, Mrs. Stimler? 108 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,092 Yes. 109 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:53,722 What are they? 110 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,433 Huh? Oh... 111 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:01,063 Your father called. He wants you to call him back. 112 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:05,985 Mrs. Stimler, our father passed away five years ago. 113 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,194 Remember? 114 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,071 Right. 115 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,949 Should I get him for you? 116 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,661 No, no. We'll... I'll take care of it. 117 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,621 You just get back to work. 118 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,298 What's with her? 119 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,924 A little accident over the weekend. 120 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,010 Got hit in the head by some lightning. 121 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,431 It's not funny, Freddie! It's not funny. 122 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,434 I'm sorry. That's not funny. That's not funny. 123 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:42,021 Besides, she can still do certain things around the office. 124 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,939 Like jump-start a car? 125 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,444 Jump-start a car! 126 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,987 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 127 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:51,989 What the hell are you doing down here? 128 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,867 Maybe I went to the "Club A" last night. 129 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,285 Something new for you. 130 00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,705 Maybe I met Mr. Buyrite, owner of Buyrite Supermarkets. 131 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,291 Maybe we had a few drinks. 132 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:07,463 And maybe, just maybe, we're his new produce suppliers. 133 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,717 I'm proud of you. That's great! Which store? 134 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,970 Not which store, the whole chain. 135 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,766 I hope you are joking with me right now. 136 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,309 Think big, be big, my friend. 137 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:21,810 He was a green beret colonel. 138 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,646 I made up a story about you being wounded in Nam 139 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,980 and he wants to do business. 140 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,233 Now he's coming this morning to check out the operation. 141 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:30,653 This morning? Great, Freddie. It's only chaos down here. 142 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,571 Augie brings me slimy cherries from upstate. 143 00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:34,240 So what? So what? 144 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,824 Jerry's getting married tomorrow. 145 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,493 - So what? - Did you realize that? 146 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,578 I was out drinking with this bum all night long. 147 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,163 - I have to pick up my tuxedo. - I'm busting my buns. 148 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,915 All the way up on East 77th Street. 149 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,376 Come on, you can handle this deal. Come on, relax. 150 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,710 Yeah, I'll handle it fine. 151 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,630 Your desk looks like a pigsty. Do what I do... 152 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,257 I have a system on the desk. 153 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:52,758 Phone for you. 154 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:56,679 Yes? All right. Thank you. 155 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,847 Hi, Victoria. I'm sorry. 156 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,016 I meant to call you back. I forgot. 157 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,269 What's the matter? Your voice sounds funny. 158 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:06,146 What? Now? 159 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,566 You're moving out of the apartment now? 160 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,360 While we're talking on the phone. 161 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,823 Yeah, I know we were going to talk about it. 162 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,244 Victoria, this is a little impulsive, don't you think? 163 00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:23,038 If we were married, you wouldn't just move out like this. 164 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,541 - She might do that. Sure. - Will you get off! 165 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,710 - Was that you? - Get off the phone! 166 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,296 - I'm so sorry! - No, no, no. Not you, Victoria. 167 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,090 I didn't know you were on the phone. 168 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,802 What do you mean, do I love you? 169 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,723 Well, I... 170 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:45,436 Well, we met and... 171 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,064 You moved in, didn't you? 172 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:55,612 Well, it's just a very complicated thing. 173 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,240 Hey, do you love me? 174 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,743 Well, there you go. 175 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,833 There she went. 176 00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,921 What a huge wedding. 177 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,095 Cindy, hi. 178 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:23,932 - How are you? - How are you? 179 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,810 Excuse me. 180 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,479 You look so pretty! 181 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:35,861 Darn! My flash never works! 182 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,989 Figures. My mother-in-law gave it to me. 183 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,284 Get up! 184 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,787 What? What? 185 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,373 It was embarrassing when you were 10, Freddie. 186 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:50,084 Look, if something works for me, I stick with it! 187 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,919 I've been doing a lot of thinking. 188 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,546 I got to get more involved with business, and I intend to. 189 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,217 I mean that this time. I'm going to. I know the business. 190 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,260 I was there at the beginning with Dad, remember? 191 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,224 I just wanna know if we sell fruit and vegetables, or is it just fruit? 192 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:09,311 By the time I came home, she was already gone. 193 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,813 - Victoria left, huh? - Yeah. 194 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,524 You know why she left me, Freddie? 195 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:15,818 Because I didn't love her. 196 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,236 That bitch. 197 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,074 Hi. Anywhere but the first three rows. 198 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,285 - Anywhere but the first three rows. - Hey! 199 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:28,205 Hi, Freddie. Hey, Allen, where's Victoria? 200 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:31,166 She's sick, and she can't make it. 201 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,085 That's too bad. I'm sorry. 202 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,424 Why I didn't love her, Freddie? Can you answer me that? 203 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,634 Why I didn't love her? I mean, she had everything. 204 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:44,638 She was bright, she was sensitive, she was beautiful. 205 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,057 - Hey, Allen! - Hi. 206 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,225 Where's Victoria? 207 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,477 Flu. Bad flu. She's very sick. 208 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,312 And she can't make it because of the flu. 209 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,690 - Give her my love. - You bet! Sure. 210 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:58,068 I can't even give her my love, Freddie. 211 00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:01,905 I'm telling you. Something in here is not working. 212 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,241 There are worse organs not to be working. Ha! 213 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,911 Hi, guys. Bauer, where's that pretty lady of yours? 214 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,621 She's not coming! Okay? 215 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,415 What? Do you want your money back? 216 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,588 Well, I don't know. Maybe it's all for the best. 217 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,298 - Hey, Allen. - She left me! 218 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:21,633 She moved out. My life's a shambles, okay? 219 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,260 That's the news. You want the weather? 220 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,262 Anywhere but the first three rows! 221 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,058 You should really lighten up on the guy. That's the bride's brother. 222 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,314 You see, drinking is really a matter of algebraic ratios. 223 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,818 How drunk you get depends on how much alcohol you consume 224 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,820 in relation to your total body weight. 225 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,740 You see my point? It's not that you had a lot to drink, 226 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:45,991 it's just that you're too skinny. 227 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,245 - Marceau, more drinks here, please. - No. 228 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,623 Freddie, I don't want to get drunk. 229 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,333 But you are drunk. 230 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,752 You see, a sober person would have reached for the pretzels. 231 00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,880 - Is he going to be there long? - I don't know. 232 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,591 - Oh, I'm on the bar. - You're on the bar. 233 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,718 Come on, off the bar. 234 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,930 This stool is in your way. Let me move that for you. 235 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,516 Oh, oh, you fell. 236 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,895 That hurt. You're not having a good day, are you? 237 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,064 Wasn't that a beautiful wedding ceremony? 238 00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,190 That was a beautiful ceremony. 239 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,276 It was. It really was. 240 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,737 - The most gorgeous ceremony... - A lovely... 241 00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,202 - How are you doing? - Fine. 242 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,620 The fabulous Freddie Bauer here. 243 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,705 Where did you get those? 244 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,707 My grandmother. She left them to me. 245 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,168 She did? They're beautiful. 246 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,628 Thank you. 247 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,047 Hi. 248 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:43,632 - Hi. - Hi. 249 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,801 You guys are in love, aren't you? 250 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,719 We just met. 251 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,890 That doesn't matter. I know about these things. 252 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,976 I can see. I can tell. 253 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:58,855 You two guys, you're in love. And I think that's beautiful. 254 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,149 Thanks. 255 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,738 Listen. I don't live too far from here. 256 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,908 Why don't we just go to my place for a quiet drink? 257 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,829 Do I expect too much out of life? 258 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,040 My dress! I can't believe this. 259 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,710 - I'm sorry. - Hey, what are you doing? 260 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,255 Both of you. You're both crazy! 261 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,840 I'm sorry. Look... 262 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,676 I don't ask that much, do I? 263 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,928 I don't ask to be famous, I don't ask to be rich, 264 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:33,724 I don't ask to play center field for the New York Yankees or anything. 265 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:36,059 I just want to meet a woman. I wanna meet a woman. 266 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,937 And I wanna fall in love, and I wanna get married. 267 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,022 And I want to have a kid, 268 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:43,025 and I want to go see him play a tooth in the school play. 269 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,278 It's not much. 270 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,197 But I'm kidding myself. 271 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,699 It's never going to happen. 272 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,328 I'm going to grow old, 273 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,039 and grow lonely, and I'm gonna die, 274 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,375 and I'll be surrounded by a bunch of rotten fruit. 275 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,213 - Freddie? - No kidding! 276 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,175 Freddie? 277 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,638 Allen! I want you to meet some friends of mine. 278 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,640 This is Tawny, and this is Jill. 279 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,184 - I'm Tawny. - You're Tawny, Tawny Tiger! 280 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,144 And this is Jill, a four-letter word. 281 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,313 - This is my brother, Allen. - Hi. 282 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,316 - Freddie, can I talk to you? - Absolutely. 283 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,026 - Excuse me. - Sure. 284 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,278 I'll be right back. We'll whisper some more. 285 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,197 I've got some whispering for you! 286 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,408 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 287 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,161 Pack your bags. Tonight, my man, we're going to Rio! 288 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,497 These girls have got a time-sharing condominium. 289 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,956 We're gonna share some time with them. 290 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:43,502 No, Freddie, I'm going to Cape Cod. 291 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:46,004 What are you talking about? Cape Cod? 292 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,714 Why would you go to Cape Cod? 293 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,425 I don't know. Because I like Cape Cod, Freddie. 294 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,802 I feel better up there. 295 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,013 I look at the water and I feel closer to something. 296 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:58,684 - Cape Cod over Rio? Are you all right? - Yeah. 297 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,603 - Let me drive you up there. - No, no. 298 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,897 - You got enough money? - I've got plenty. 299 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,941 - Yeah? - Thanks. 300 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,610 Can I have some then? 301 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,581 - Where to? - Cape Cod, Massachusetts. 302 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,294 You break that, you pay for it. 303 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:31,717 Well, I'm sorry. I usually enjoy smashing the glass with my face. 304 00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,762 Okay. Cape Cod. That's about 300 miles. You got the cash? 305 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,764 What is this? 306 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,079 Careful with that. 307 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,498 Be careful with that! 308 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:07,252 What do you think you're loading? This is delicate scientific equipment. 309 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:14,426 Hold it. Put it down. You see that? It says, "This end up." 310 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,053 Know what that means? This end up! 311 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,306 Why don't you try holding that end up? 312 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,143 All right, get away! 313 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,021 I'll do it myself. Get away. Give me a hand. 314 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,778 Easy. 315 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,031 - Move that... - Excuse me. 316 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,535 - Morning. - Morning. 317 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:45,999 Ah, I was dropped off on the wrong side of the beach. 318 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,585 Could you take me over to the island? 319 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,047 Well, ah, we're not... 320 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,049 We're not going... 321 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,302 We're taking the boat. We're not going out there! 322 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,722 Have you seen anyone else along this beach? 323 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,600 No, just me and the moron twins. 324 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,685 We're not twins. 325 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,191 - What is all this stuff? - I knew it! 326 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,320 Who sent you up here? Dr. Ross from Chicago? 327 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,781 Who's Dr. Ross from Chicago? 328 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:21,201 Who's Dr. Ross? You're very good. 329 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,578 I suppose you're some harmless beachcomber 330 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,831 who happens to wear a tuxedo! 331 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,042 How dare you try and horn in on someone else's research! 332 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,627 I'm just a guy... 333 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,463 Walter Kornbluth is not to be taken advantage of. 334 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,967 Just stay out of my way, sonny. 335 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,721 All right, let's move out! 336 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,189 A guy down the beach runs people out to the island. 337 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:52,816 What's the name? 338 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,652 The guy or the island? 339 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,281 I'll find him. 340 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,120 What's the matter? You look nervous. 341 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:10,250 Yeah. The truth is, Fat Jack, I don't know how to swim. 342 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,086 - You can't swim? - No, sir. 343 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:16,131 Then you wouldn't want me to do this. 344 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,758 Stop! Ah, don't! 345 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:22,679 Please, cut it out! There's water coming in the boat! 346 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,056 I'm just having a little fun. 347 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,600 Well, don't. 348 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,479 What is that? What's the matter? 349 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,983 When I rocked the boat, I must have got water in the engine. 350 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,986 I can fix it. I'm mechanical. 351 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,411 Did you fix it? 352 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:49,664 No. I'll go back for the other boat. 353 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,832 What? 354 00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:56,463 Where are you going, Mr. Fat Jack? 355 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,633 Back to the dock. It's only a few miles. 356 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,886 I can swim it. I'll be back with the little boat. 357 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,972 The little boat? 358 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:21,738 I knew it. I knew that guy was spying on me. 359 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,115 I want to go down! 360 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,037 Mr. Cornbeef? 361 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,414 Kornbluth! 362 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,334 Whatcha looking for down there? 363 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,044 Buried treasure? 364 00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:38,713 Want to know what I'm looking for? 365 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,215 I'll tell you. 366 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:44,928 None of your goddamn business, that's what! 367 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,429 Get out of my way! 368 00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,980 Let's pee down his air hose. 369 00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:57,899 You get that. 370 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,419 Piece of shit. 371 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,726 Ahh! 372 00:22:44,905 --> 00:22:46,281 Ah, gee. 373 00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,064 Ohhh! 374 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,818 Ohh. 375 00:23:31,202 --> 00:23:32,827 Ouch! 376 00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:35,413 Ouch. 377 00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:58,353 Hello. 378 00:23:59,021 --> 00:24:02,107 You have any idea how I got here? 379 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,025 Did you save me? 380 00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:13,201 Ah, do you speak English? 381 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,617 Hey! Come back! 382 00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,828 Hey, come back! Please. 383 00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:59,372 Just tell me who you are. 384 00:24:59,707 --> 00:25:03,126 I've gotta talk to you. Can I call you? What's your number? 385 00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:04,919 I don't know how to swim. 386 00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:08,882 I don't know how to swim! Come back. 387 00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:12,760 Why didn't I learn how to swim? Please, just... 388 00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:18,993 It's a mermaid. It's her! 389 00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:23,915 Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Don't go. 390 00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:26,751 Come back. 391 00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:29,003 I gotta take your picture. 392 00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:32,715 Hold it. 393 00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:17,945 Hi, Mrs. Stimler. 394 00:28:18,614 --> 00:28:21,240 Hi. What happened to your head? 395 00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:24,035 - Lightning? - No, a boat hit me. 396 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:28,289 - Mrs. Stimler? - Yes? 397 00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:32,168 - Nothing. - So nice to have you back. 398 00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:37,215 Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. 399 00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:39,592 The statue is a gift from French citizens. 400 00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:43,012 It has come to symbolize hope for oppressed people. 401 00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:47,517 Over the past century, she has seen the skyline, 402 00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:51,896 which once she dwarfed, rise in mountains of stone and steel. 403 00:28:52,398 --> 00:28:55,983 If you'll go inside, the tour will continue. 404 00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:59,821 Come on. Here we go. Let's go. We're backing up. 405 00:29:02,533 --> 00:29:03,741 You've got feet, use them! 406 00:29:03,826 --> 00:29:08,663 Don't touch my hat. Do not ever touch my hat. That's it. 407 00:29:08,872 --> 00:29:11,332 Up, up, up, up, up, up. Okay. 408 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:13,835 Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. 409 00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:16,546 The statue is a gift from French citizens. 410 00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:19,966 It has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere. 411 00:29:20,676 --> 00:29:22,301 Bocci balls! 412 00:29:22,386 --> 00:29:24,679 Hey, hey. 413 00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:27,098 Come on. Don't be doing that. 414 00:29:27,850 --> 00:29:32,019 Take a picture of me, Vinnie. Vinnie, take my picture. 415 00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:34,397 You get it? You get it! 416 00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:40,862 The statue was a gift from French people. 417 00:29:41,071 --> 00:29:42,989 Get out of the way. What's going on? 418 00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:48,411 Okay, miss. This ain't California. We don't go for this. 419 00:30:06,597 --> 00:30:07,638 What's your name? 420 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:09,265 She don't speak no English. 421 00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:10,308 And you do? 422 00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:12,435 Here. She was carrying this. 423 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:13,686 What's this? 424 00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:18,316 Who's this guy? 425 00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:23,154 Is that enough? Do you want some more? 426 00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:26,449 That's all we can handle. Let's talk terms. 427 00:30:26,575 --> 00:30:28,367 He doesn't have the slightest clue what's going on. 428 00:30:28,452 --> 00:30:31,078 Don't worry. We'll move it out in the morning. 429 00:30:31,205 --> 00:30:35,249 Bauer. Your brother told me about your unfortunate experience in Vietnam. 430 00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:38,294 Huh? 431 00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:41,506 The incident in Vietnam. Remember? 432 00:30:43,634 --> 00:30:47,094 The grenade still bother you? You're wearing a bandage. 433 00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:49,555 Page him. Hey, Al? 434 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:50,932 - Yeah? - Phone. 435 00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,768 Um, excuse me. 436 00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:57,480 Thanks, Jerry. Yeah? 437 00:30:57,814 --> 00:31:00,149 Allen Bauer. Speaking. 438 00:31:06,949 --> 00:31:08,157 Yeah. On my way! 439 00:31:08,325 --> 00:31:09,784 I believe this... 440 00:31:11,954 --> 00:31:14,497 Allen, where are you going? 441 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,123 Allen! 442 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:20,461 - What happened? - Telephone. 443 00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:23,506 He was on the phone in Nam when the grenade went off. 444 00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:28,886 Ever since then, he runs, gets in a car, and drives away. 445 00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:32,974 - Oh. - I don't know why. It just happens. 446 00:31:33,183 --> 00:31:35,810 - Oh. - Let's review this. 447 00:31:58,375 --> 00:32:00,042 Pardon me. Excuse me! 448 00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:02,753 Mr. Police Officer? 449 00:32:02,838 --> 00:32:04,839 Hey! Take it easy. 450 00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:06,257 What do you want? 451 00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:09,218 My name's Allen Bauer. You guys called me. 452 00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,763 Any of you guys call for an Allen Bauer? 453 00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:16,183 Bauer. Yeah. That's for her. 454 00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:18,603 Right over there. 455 00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:42,418 Hi. 456 00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:52,470 I take it you know this girl? 457 00:32:54,348 --> 00:32:55,473 Yeah, I do. 458 00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:57,975 Who is she? 459 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:01,562 I don't know. 460 00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:03,064 Of course. 461 00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,246 Afternoon. You're home early. 462 00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:20,790 Yeah. 463 00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:32,385 Uh, that doorway spins. 464 00:33:32,469 --> 00:33:34,011 Want to get this fixed, Timmy? 465 00:33:41,103 --> 00:33:42,478 - Hi. - Hello. 466 00:34:31,653 --> 00:34:34,613 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 467 00:34:34,698 --> 00:34:37,992 Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder 468 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:41,662 It's the truth, it's actual Everything is satisfactual 469 00:34:41,997 --> 00:34:44,623 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 470 00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:46,751 My, oh, my What a wonderful day 471 00:34:47,169 --> 00:34:49,837 Room service. I didn't know what you liked, 472 00:34:49,963 --> 00:34:53,340 so I got you a choice. Fruity Pebbles, pancakes... 473 00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:55,760 No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 474 00:34:56,052 --> 00:34:59,805 I've got to get back to work. That will keep you company. 475 00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:03,809 When I come back from work, we'll get some dinner, 476 00:35:03,977 --> 00:35:05,853 and pick you up some clothes. 477 00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:09,106 Not that you don't look spectacular in my robe. 478 00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:12,109 Okay? Bye-bye. 479 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,281 No. Please. 480 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,908 You're gonna put me in the hospital. 481 00:35:19,409 --> 00:35:22,328 It's about 3:00. I really have to get back. 482 00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:25,080 You are wonderful. 483 00:35:25,540 --> 00:35:27,666 Bye-bye. Bye. 484 00:35:33,215 --> 00:35:36,550 Things don't get started again until 4:00. 485 00:35:42,432 --> 00:35:44,767 Let's not be so choosy with these onions. 486 00:35:45,227 --> 00:35:47,478 Some of these are perfectly good onions. 487 00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:50,689 Everybody, zip-a-dee-doo-dah! 488 00:35:51,274 --> 00:35:54,276 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 489 00:35:54,694 --> 00:35:57,863 My, oh, my What a wonderful day 490 00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:00,991 Plenty of sunshine heading my way 491 00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:04,245 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay 492 00:36:04,412 --> 00:36:07,498 Mr. Mango on my shoulder 493 00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:09,041 Freddie, dance with me! 494 00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:10,960 Please, not in front of the teamsters. 495 00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:12,545 Come on, they're happy guys. 496 00:36:12,629 --> 00:36:14,088 You're a rotten lead. 497 00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:16,757 I've got the Buyrite contracts ready. 498 00:36:17,217 --> 00:36:18,843 - Want to check them? - No. 499 00:36:18,927 --> 00:36:20,845 You check them. You know the business. 500 00:36:21,054 --> 00:36:22,763 - So I'm in charge? - Sure. 501 00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:24,807 What about the lawyer's meeting at 8:00? 502 00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:28,269 8:00 p.m? That's too late for me. 503 00:36:28,979 --> 00:36:31,689 I'm going upstairs and take a nap. 504 00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:33,983 Wake me when it's time to go home. 505 00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:35,693 Zip-a-dee... 506 00:36:35,777 --> 00:36:37,486 Jerry, handle those for me! 507 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,615 Anne Klein. 508 00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:43,868 Bloomingdale's. 509 00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:49,331 Anne Klein. 510 00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,042 Bloomingdale's. 511 00:36:56,798 --> 00:37:00,384 The Anne Klein Collection, available at Bloomingdale's. 512 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,024 Can I help you? 513 00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,444 Can't you talk? 514 00:37:21,031 --> 00:37:24,116 - Bloomingdale's? - Sure. Hey! 515 00:38:21,675 --> 00:38:23,342 Oh, my God. 516 00:38:24,219 --> 00:38:26,720 Darling. Darling. 517 00:38:26,888 --> 00:38:30,808 Darling! That outfit, it's to die from. 518 00:38:30,892 --> 00:38:33,560 What happened? You saw Annie Hall 100 times? 519 00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:35,562 That look is over. 520 00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,399 You want to try that on? 521 00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:40,067 Who knows? Maybe it's you. 522 00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:42,695 I couldn't get one leg in there. 523 00:38:43,196 --> 00:38:47,032 My daughter is lucky. She's anorexic. 524 00:38:50,745 --> 00:38:53,831 Please call again. Don't forget these. 525 00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:58,752 Do yourself a favor and stop in the lingerie department. 526 00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:02,756 A pretty girl like you shouldn't wear boxer shorts. 527 00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:11,765 Let me try! 528 00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:14,435 Colgate Winterfresh Gel... 529 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:18,397 And now, we continue with Capitol. 530 00:39:19,441 --> 00:39:23,444 Wear the adjustable-angle mascara by Revlon. 531 00:39:25,989 --> 00:39:28,741 Maximum fluoride protection in a great-tasting gel. 532 00:39:29,451 --> 00:39:31,869 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest clearance sale ever! 533 00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:35,622 Crazy Eddie's slashing prices... 534 00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:38,792 Stereo equipment, video equipment, color TV's, car stereos, CB's, phones, 535 00:39:39,127 --> 00:39:40,794 disco equipment and professional products, 536 00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:44,214 plus a selection of floor samples and demonstrators... 537 00:39:45,175 --> 00:39:46,383 Priced at or below cost. 538 00:39:46,468 --> 00:39:48,469 It's Crazy Eddie's greatest sale ever, 539 00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:51,722 going on right now with prices that are insane! 540 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:53,432 Crazy Eddie, 12 great locations. 541 00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:55,726 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Syosset, Paramus, 542 00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:58,812 East Brunswick, Union, Westchester, Westbury and Norwalk. 543 00:40:02,942 --> 00:40:04,985 Zip-a-dee-doo-dah 544 00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:06,653 Hello? 545 00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:10,324 I'm home! 546 00:40:28,051 --> 00:40:30,219 - I'm looking for a girl, Timmy. - 200 bucks. 547 00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:32,930 No, the blonde I came in with. 548 00:40:33,223 --> 00:40:35,766 - Oh, she left. - Any idea where? 549 00:40:35,892 --> 00:40:39,019 - I put her in a cab. - To where, Timmy? 550 00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:41,480 - Bloomingdale's. - Bloomingdale's. Great. Thanks. 551 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:44,483 Yo! Hey, taxi! Hey! 552 00:40:45,235 --> 00:40:46,693 Halt, taxi, please! 553 00:40:47,112 --> 00:40:49,113 She works hard for the money 554 00:40:49,197 --> 00:40:52,366 Come on, come on. Let's go! 555 00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:56,370 She works hard for the money so you better treat her right 556 00:40:57,372 --> 00:40:59,957 Excuse me, miss, we're getting ready to close. 557 00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:02,376 She's been here for six hours. 558 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:06,922 Excuse me, miss. 559 00:41:07,006 --> 00:41:12,427 I'm going to insist that you stop doing that. 560 00:41:16,057 --> 00:41:18,725 She's exercising. 561 00:41:20,645 --> 00:41:22,896 Give her a minute. 562 00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:26,525 Sir, we're closing. 563 00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:27,693 I know. Just give me three minutes. 564 00:41:27,777 --> 00:41:30,571 - Come back. - Three minutes. You can time me! 565 00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:35,325 Oh, thank God. 566 00:41:35,952 --> 00:41:38,078 Excuse me. Do you know this woman? 567 00:41:38,246 --> 00:41:40,998 Yeah. Just don't ask me her name. 568 00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:43,542 We've been trying to tell her it's closing time, 569 00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:45,752 but she doesn't seem to understand. 570 00:41:46,421 --> 00:41:48,630 That's because she doesn't speak English. 571 00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:51,675 Hello, Allen. How was your day? 572 00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:58,098 I never went to college, but wasn't that English? 573 00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:00,684 Thank you for letting me use your television. 574 00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:03,312 It was very educational. 575 00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:06,190 It's all right, miss. 576 00:42:09,611 --> 00:42:11,278 What's your name? 577 00:42:11,613 --> 00:42:13,989 It's hard to say in English. 578 00:42:14,324 --> 00:42:16,742 Well, just say it in your language. 579 00:42:17,619 --> 00:42:20,120 All right. My name is... 580 00:42:35,178 --> 00:42:37,137 Hey, how 'bout those Knicks? 581 00:42:38,473 --> 00:42:42,476 I'm confused why you haven't said anything until now. 582 00:42:42,644 --> 00:42:43,810 I didn't know English. 583 00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:45,854 I see. Now you do? 584 00:42:45,939 --> 00:42:48,607 I learned from television. It's wonderful! 585 00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:51,276 I'll ask questions and if you answer correctly, 586 00:42:51,361 --> 00:42:53,237 you can win one of these prizes. 587 00:42:53,488 --> 00:42:55,697 A wall clock, matching washer and dryer, 588 00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:57,991 or a brand-new car! 589 00:42:58,201 --> 00:42:59,910 Let me go first, okay? 590 00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:02,329 Who are you? Where are you from? 591 00:43:02,622 --> 00:43:06,792 Begin when you were born and finish when you blew up the TVs. 592 00:43:14,676 --> 00:43:16,009 Pretty. 593 00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:21,515 Well, yeah. I've never thought about it before. 594 00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:23,976 Are you from Cape Cod? 595 00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:29,189 No, I'm from another place. 596 00:43:30,066 --> 00:43:32,567 Yeah? I've got a cousin from there. Ha-ha-ha. 597 00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:37,906 Are you an American? 598 00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:39,825 No. 599 00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:44,371 Then why were you in Cape Cod and now New York? 600 00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:46,707 How did the cops find you naked? 601 00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,208 What's that? 602 00:43:49,002 --> 00:43:50,377 What? The music? 603 00:43:50,753 --> 00:43:53,547 I like music! I heard some in the television, 604 00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:54,965 Dance Fever. 605 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:58,677 Hey, I love you, girl 606 00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:00,512 Darling 607 00:44:00,596 --> 00:44:02,597 Ah, hi, hi. 608 00:44:02,682 --> 00:44:04,933 We better go, hon, or else we'll be late. 609 00:44:05,435 --> 00:44:06,852 You never heard music? 610 00:44:07,020 --> 00:44:08,395 What's that? 611 00:44:08,521 --> 00:44:11,231 Ah... 612 00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:13,317 Oh, gosh! 613 00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:14,526 What's that? 614 00:44:14,610 --> 00:44:15,652 It's a movie theater. 615 00:44:15,737 --> 00:44:17,696 What the hell you doin'? You could've got me killed! 616 00:44:17,822 --> 00:44:20,198 Cut her some slack. She's from out of town. 617 00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:21,575 Keep her on a leash. 618 00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:23,660 Yeah, yeah. Have a nice day. 619 00:44:23,745 --> 00:44:24,995 Hello? 620 00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:30,542 Did you see this? 621 00:44:30,710 --> 00:44:33,920 It's wonderfully delicious and so good for you. 622 00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:38,091 While you're here, watch a little less TV. 623 00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:43,555 How long are you going to be in town? 624 00:44:44,891 --> 00:44:46,933 Six fun-filled days. 625 00:44:47,852 --> 00:44:49,269 Oh, six days. 626 00:44:49,771 --> 00:44:51,021 Is that all? 627 00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:54,691 Six days, 628 00:44:55,318 --> 00:44:56,943 and the moon is full. 629 00:44:58,154 --> 00:44:59,529 Oh. 630 00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:03,658 The moon is full. 631 00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:12,959 If I stay longer than that, I can't ever go back. 632 00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:15,462 Oh, I get... What? 633 00:45:15,797 --> 00:45:18,256 Is there some sort of immigration problem? 634 00:45:19,133 --> 00:45:20,634 Where did you get that? 635 00:45:21,094 --> 00:45:23,053 Where? Oh, for... 636 00:45:26,265 --> 00:45:29,601 Sir? Here you are, sir. There you go. 637 00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:33,230 I'm going to have to call you something in English, 638 00:45:33,314 --> 00:45:36,066 because I can't pronounce... What? 639 00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:37,818 What are English names? 640 00:45:38,486 --> 00:45:40,529 There's millions of them, I guess. 641 00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:42,739 Jennifer, Joanie, Hillary. 642 00:45:42,824 --> 00:45:44,491 Careful. Those are hot. 643 00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:47,452 Names, names. Linda, Kim... 644 00:45:47,537 --> 00:45:49,830 Where are we? Madison. 645 00:45:49,956 --> 00:45:52,249 - Elizabeth, Samantha... - I like Madison. 646 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:54,543 Madison's not a name. 647 00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:59,339 Well, all right. Madison it is. 648 00:45:59,549 --> 00:46:01,675 Good thing we weren't at 149th Street. 649 00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:04,261 Are we going back to where you live? 650 00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:08,181 Okay, um, here's the thing. 651 00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:11,184 I was going to find you a hotel, 652 00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:14,396 but I figure that after this afternoon... 653 00:46:15,815 --> 00:46:18,358 Well, I just assumed that... 654 00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:24,197 Would you mind staying with me? 655 00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:27,784 I want to stay with you. 656 00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:30,412 You're the reason I came here. 657 00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:43,383 Ah, that was a kiss. 658 00:46:44,385 --> 00:46:45,469 I know. 659 00:48:57,476 --> 00:48:58,602 Madison? 660 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:10,238 - Madison? - Allen? 661 00:49:11,574 --> 00:49:13,366 Yeah, of course it's Allen. 662 00:49:13,868 --> 00:49:15,118 What are you doing, sweetheart? 663 00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:17,495 Taking a bath. 664 00:49:18,205 --> 00:49:20,790 Ooo, ooo. Can I come in? 665 00:49:22,209 --> 00:49:23,335 No! 666 00:49:25,671 --> 00:49:27,047 What was that? 667 00:49:27,214 --> 00:49:28,757 Madison, are you all right? 668 00:49:28,883 --> 00:49:30,550 Everything's fine. 669 00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:31,760 Then let me in. 670 00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:34,679 I'll be right there. I'm just changing. 671 00:49:34,764 --> 00:49:37,599 Enough! Open the door. Something is wrong. 672 00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:40,310 Allen, can you make me some pancakes? 673 00:49:40,394 --> 00:49:42,062 Make you some... Madison! 674 00:49:42,772 --> 00:49:44,439 All right, Madison, this is getting scary. 675 00:49:44,523 --> 00:49:46,858 Either open this door, or I'll break it down! 676 00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:50,153 - No, Allen, please. - All right, that's it! 677 00:49:50,237 --> 00:49:52,238 - Allen, no! - Ow. 678 00:50:04,043 --> 00:50:05,377 Hi. 679 00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:09,381 Hi. Are you okay? 680 00:50:10,424 --> 00:50:11,758 Yeah. 681 00:50:11,926 --> 00:50:13,551 Why wouldn't you let me in? 682 00:50:15,346 --> 00:50:17,639 I was shy. 683 00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:21,393 You were shy? 684 00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:25,021 After the car, elevator, bedroom, 685 00:50:25,106 --> 00:50:27,440 and top of the refrigerator, you were shy? 686 00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:31,319 I was shy. 687 00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:34,072 She was shy. 688 00:51:05,479 --> 00:51:07,188 Hey, B.B. Brain! 689 00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:11,109 - Yeah? - See this hose? 690 00:51:12,069 --> 00:51:14,988 - It's so I can breathe. - Uh-huh. 691 00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:17,782 You want to get your chair off it? 692 00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:19,576 Huh? 693 00:51:29,336 --> 00:51:30,920 The Star Confidential? 694 00:51:32,757 --> 00:51:33,798 Yeah. 695 00:51:33,883 --> 00:51:34,966 Why are you reading that? 696 00:51:35,551 --> 00:51:36,593 I don't know. 697 00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:41,097 What possesses the uneducated to purchase these? 698 00:51:41,682 --> 00:51:42,932 Interesting. 699 00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:44,851 You're not helping yourself. 700 00:51:45,186 --> 00:51:48,188 You're not... This is not news. 701 00:51:48,814 --> 00:51:51,024 Give me this. You know what's in here? 702 00:51:51,317 --> 00:51:54,694 Nothing. You have sex, perversion. 703 00:51:54,987 --> 00:51:57,071 It's all fabrication. Look at this. 704 00:51:57,740 --> 00:52:00,116 A naked woman at the Statue of Liberty. 705 00:52:02,661 --> 00:52:04,370 Where would they find a girl to do that? 706 00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:12,253 - Ow, my head! - Let me see that. 707 00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:23,264 Take me back to shore. Now! 708 00:52:28,103 --> 00:52:29,103 Hello. 709 00:52:34,318 --> 00:52:35,819 Madison, what is it? 710 00:52:36,862 --> 00:52:38,071 What happened? 711 00:52:40,449 --> 00:52:42,659 It's the saddest thing I ever saw. 712 00:52:45,371 --> 00:52:46,788 It's Bonanza. 713 00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:51,209 The man killed another man and he died in the street. 714 00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:55,797 No, no. This is only TV. 715 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:59,634 I thought you understood about TV being make-believe. 716 00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:02,929 It's pretend killing that's going on. See, now. 717 00:53:03,097 --> 00:53:04,889 This guy is an actor. 718 00:53:04,974 --> 00:53:07,225 Next week, he'll get shot on another show. 719 00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:09,519 When you think about it, it's kinda funny. 720 00:53:12,398 --> 00:53:14,232 I'm supposed to laugh? 721 00:53:15,401 --> 00:53:17,610 Yeah. There you go. 722 00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:19,696 Yeah. 723 00:53:20,990 --> 00:53:22,657 I got you something. 724 00:53:38,424 --> 00:53:41,259 It's beautiful. I love it. 725 00:53:44,013 --> 00:53:46,222 No, you open it. 726 00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:48,266 There's more? 727 00:55:05,803 --> 00:55:06,886 Do you like that? 728 00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:08,972 Yeah, I do. 729 00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:12,725 I don't know why. Just... 730 00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:15,311 Something about it. 731 00:55:15,604 --> 00:55:17,105 It's always appealed to me. 732 00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:21,067 Do you like the sea? 733 00:55:22,403 --> 00:55:26,864 No. When I was about eight, I had this accident on a ship. 734 00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:28,574 I remember. 735 00:55:30,035 --> 00:55:31,244 What? 736 00:55:32,246 --> 00:55:35,456 Ah, I can't. I forget the words. 737 00:55:35,582 --> 00:55:37,959 What's... I understand. 738 00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:43,798 Did you get hurt? 739 00:55:45,092 --> 00:55:47,844 No, no, I didn't, 740 00:55:48,512 --> 00:55:52,765 but when I was underwater, I could have sworn I saw... 741 00:55:54,268 --> 00:55:55,768 What? 742 00:55:57,104 --> 00:55:58,146 Nothing. 743 00:55:58,272 --> 00:55:59,480 - What? - Nothing! 744 00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:01,607 I was just a stupid kid. 745 00:56:05,821 --> 00:56:07,697 They're going to tear this park out. 746 00:56:07,906 --> 00:56:09,115 Why? 747 00:56:09,450 --> 00:56:12,869 They're gonna build river-front condos or some such nonsense. 748 00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:15,288 What are you gonna do, huh? 749 00:56:20,044 --> 00:56:21,461 You want to go home? 750 00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:23,880 No, I have five days left! 751 00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:26,716 No, no, no. My home! 752 00:56:27,301 --> 00:56:28,342 Oh. 753 00:56:29,511 --> 00:56:31,262 Yes. 754 00:56:42,107 --> 00:56:44,650 Why do we want to go to a political dinner? 755 00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:46,444 The president will be speaking. 756 00:56:46,528 --> 00:56:47,904 President of what? 757 00:56:48,030 --> 00:56:50,156 President of the Three Stooges Fan Club. 758 00:56:50,491 --> 00:56:52,241 - The president of the United States! - Wow. 759 00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:54,744 I tell you. We'll be rubbing elbows with the big boys. 760 00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:56,370 You think big, you be big. 761 00:56:56,455 --> 00:56:57,497 I guess so. 762 00:56:57,790 --> 00:56:59,165 Listen, 763 00:57:00,459 --> 00:57:03,961 would you mind if I took Madison to this thing instead of going with you? 764 00:57:07,508 --> 00:57:09,050 What? 765 00:57:09,551 --> 00:57:11,385 - What? - What? 766 00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:14,305 Something in here not working? 767 00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:18,309 "Oh, I'll never fall in love, Freddie. 768 00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:21,187 "I can't. It won't work with me." 769 00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:23,940 Who said anything about me being in love? 770 00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:26,025 You haven't been to work in two days. 771 00:57:26,485 --> 00:57:27,944 - So? - Admit it. 772 00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:30,196 - No. - Admit it! 773 00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:31,656 Eye gouge! 774 00:57:34,368 --> 00:57:35,952 Ahhh. Ahhh! 775 00:57:36,370 --> 00:57:37,453 - Admit it. - No. 776 00:57:37,538 --> 00:57:38,871 Bone crusher! 777 00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:47,171 Son of a... 778 00:57:56,223 --> 00:57:57,265 Ow. 779 00:58:00,561 --> 00:58:01,978 How long we been playing? 780 00:58:02,062 --> 00:58:03,271 About five minutes. 781 00:58:03,355 --> 00:58:04,730 Oh, God. 782 00:58:05,232 --> 00:58:06,983 My heart's beating like a rabbit. 783 00:58:08,527 --> 00:58:10,278 You, uh, want a beer? 784 00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:12,572 No, thanks. 785 00:58:26,420 --> 00:58:29,255 So, tell me this. 786 00:58:29,756 --> 00:58:31,340 If you're not in love with her, 787 00:58:31,425 --> 00:58:34,552 how come little things she does drive you crazy so much? 788 00:58:35,095 --> 00:58:36,387 Little things? 789 00:58:36,722 --> 00:58:40,975 Freddie, the woman learned English in a single afternoon. 790 00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:45,396 She could probably speak English already. 791 00:58:45,898 --> 00:58:48,191 I think she was in shock from being arrested, you know. 792 00:58:48,317 --> 00:58:49,901 Now, what about that, huh? 793 00:58:50,402 --> 00:58:53,112 What about a woman showing up naked in a public place, Freddie? 794 00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:54,822 I'm for it, of course. 795 00:58:56,116 --> 00:59:00,411 You said that she had some kind of immigration problem. 796 00:59:00,579 --> 00:59:04,290 She's on an ocean liner in international waters. 797 00:59:04,541 --> 00:59:08,377 And she sees America. It looks good. 798 00:59:08,545 --> 00:59:12,048 So, she greases her body up like a channel swimmer. 799 00:59:12,216 --> 00:59:16,469 She dives in. She has heavy trouble with sharks, 800 00:59:16,678 --> 00:59:21,265 she goes through the Coast Guard, minefields and then she's on shore. 801 00:59:21,350 --> 00:59:22,934 She's okay. That's it. 802 00:59:25,479 --> 00:59:27,230 What about the bathtub, 803 00:59:28,023 --> 00:59:30,107 this moon stuff, and all those TVs? 804 00:59:30,609 --> 00:59:32,235 Look, I'm being serious. 805 00:59:32,569 --> 00:59:37,406 I admit to a few minor fiascos in my love life. 806 00:59:37,824 --> 00:59:41,077 Freddie, you took a date to one of your own weddings! 807 00:59:42,329 --> 00:59:44,538 I'm a free spirit! 808 00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:48,042 I'm extremely liberal, a freewheeling dude. 809 00:59:48,502 --> 00:59:50,711 You know what your problem is? You're in love with this girl. 810 00:59:50,796 --> 00:59:52,505 You're trying to convince yourself you're not. 811 00:59:54,633 --> 00:59:56,509 I just don't know, Freddie. 812 00:59:56,677 --> 00:59:59,095 Something about it isn't right. 813 01:00:00,055 --> 01:00:01,305 I'll serve. 814 01:00:01,556 --> 01:00:03,307 Hold the beer. That will be your handicap. 815 01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:05,184 - Oh, we're gonna play? - Yeah. 816 01:00:06,353 --> 01:00:08,187 I'm gonna teach you a lesson in humility. 817 01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:09,438 Wait. 818 01:00:09,523 --> 01:00:10,815 Humility 101. 819 01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:13,609 - You all set? - Yeah. 820 01:00:13,694 --> 01:00:14,860 Here we go. 821 01:00:16,863 --> 01:00:17,905 Oh! 822 01:00:24,371 --> 01:00:26,956 This is what we came to hear? 823 01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:32,461 You call and tell us 824 01:00:32,546 --> 01:00:37,258 that you have stretched the frontiers of paleontology and zoology. 825 01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:43,347 We interrupt important, serious work to fly here at a moment's notice, 826 01:00:43,557 --> 01:00:46,017 and you give us mermaids! 827 01:00:46,226 --> 01:00:49,061 Don't call us. Call the comic book companies. 828 01:00:49,146 --> 01:00:52,982 Enough. We have a seminar in three weeks. Be ready. 829 01:00:59,239 --> 01:01:01,490 Allen, you're here! I got you a present. 830 01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:04,744 - Don't look. Close your eyes. - I gotta close the door. 831 01:01:05,037 --> 01:01:06,829 What are you doing? 832 01:01:07,748 --> 01:01:09,081 All right. 833 01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:12,585 Okay. Look. 834 01:01:19,551 --> 01:01:22,762 Ha-ha! Wha... You, ah... 835 01:01:23,138 --> 01:01:25,389 Well, that's big! 836 01:01:27,225 --> 01:01:29,060 Yeah, this is... 837 01:01:29,936 --> 01:01:35,024 This is very big, and it's really here. 838 01:01:35,817 --> 01:01:37,610 It's just so big! 839 01:01:37,694 --> 01:01:39,737 They were gonna tear it down, so I bought it for you. 840 01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,948 Where did you get the money to pay for it? 841 01:01:45,077 --> 01:01:47,787 Madison, where's your necklace? 842 01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:50,456 I traded it for the statue. 843 01:01:50,791 --> 01:01:51,791 Why? 844 01:01:53,543 --> 01:01:55,044 Because I love you. 845 01:01:57,130 --> 01:01:59,548 Oh, Madison. 846 01:02:03,845 --> 01:02:05,554 Madison, I love... 847 01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:07,515 This, ah, present. 848 01:02:08,475 --> 01:02:09,892 I love it. 849 01:02:13,063 --> 01:02:14,480 And I love you. 850 01:02:21,446 --> 01:02:22,655 What's happened to you? 851 01:02:23,073 --> 01:02:25,408 You were the brightest student in my class. 852 01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:29,328 True, emotionally, you were 12 years old. 853 01:02:29,496 --> 01:02:30,955 I was 12 years old. 854 01:02:31,039 --> 01:02:32,498 That's right. 855 01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:34,792 Look what you've become, 856 01:02:35,419 --> 01:02:36,710 a schmuck. 857 01:02:37,963 --> 01:02:40,589 There is a mermaid in New York City. 858 01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:45,094 You mean this naked girl? 859 01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:47,596 How come she's got legs? 860 01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:52,101 She has legs out of water and fins in the water. 861 01:02:52,227 --> 01:02:55,354 You taught me that, Dr. Zidell. Remember? 862 01:02:55,730 --> 01:02:58,065 You taught me all the legends. 863 01:02:58,733 --> 01:03:00,568 You used to bring me in the office. 864 01:03:00,652 --> 01:03:02,736 You used to show me charts on the walls 865 01:03:02,821 --> 01:03:05,531 where sailors had claimed they saw mermaids. 866 01:03:05,699 --> 01:03:11,036 Walter, that was for fun, for relaxation, not for you to build your whole life on. 867 01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:16,584 I'm gonna prove to you and everyone else 868 01:03:16,751 --> 01:03:19,211 that that girl is a mermaid! 869 01:03:20,172 --> 01:03:21,547 How? 870 01:03:21,673 --> 01:03:25,009 You gonna get her wet so everybody sees she has fins? 871 01:04:00,670 --> 01:04:02,004 Taxi? 872 01:04:05,008 --> 01:04:06,217 Oh! 873 01:04:06,301 --> 01:04:08,344 - Watch it! - Hey, watch it, buddy. 874 01:04:08,428 --> 01:04:09,470 Excuse me. 875 01:04:14,935 --> 01:04:16,310 Look out. 876 01:04:20,148 --> 01:04:22,066 What does he think he's doing? 877 01:04:23,443 --> 01:04:24,944 Hey! Hey! 878 01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:39,792 Oh, my. 879 01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:44,088 Ow, ohh, oof! 880 01:05:11,366 --> 01:05:12,408 Oops. 881 01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:15,452 Nice earrings. 882 01:05:18,373 --> 01:05:20,916 - Is something the matter? - No, nothing at all. 883 01:05:21,001 --> 01:05:25,838 I was thinking. You don't have to leave the country. 884 01:05:27,674 --> 01:05:29,258 - I do. - You don't. 885 01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:33,095 There's stuff we can do to get around the immigration laws. 886 01:05:33,179 --> 01:05:36,890 For instance, I could give you a job down at the market. 887 01:05:37,767 --> 01:05:39,351 You could get a work visa. 888 01:05:40,478 --> 01:05:44,231 Or, uh, you could, uh, 889 01:05:45,025 --> 01:05:47,693 marry, like, an American, 890 01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:50,154 and they have to let you stay. 891 01:05:50,739 --> 01:05:52,031 Our food is here! 892 01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:58,203 Oh. Well, we'll talk about it later. 893 01:05:59,205 --> 01:06:01,957 Do be careful, madam. The plate is very hot. 894 01:06:03,043 --> 01:06:04,960 Thank you. These look terrific. 895 01:06:26,858 --> 01:06:28,525 She's really hungry! 896 01:06:54,469 --> 01:06:56,136 You were very good. 897 01:06:56,429 --> 01:06:59,431 Come on. Oops. Come on. 898 01:07:00,934 --> 01:07:02,434 Let's sit down and talk. 899 01:07:04,813 --> 01:07:06,105 Ah. 900 01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:09,400 Your nose is cold. 901 01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:11,902 I don't want to talk about my nose. 902 01:07:12,654 --> 01:07:14,279 Your ears are all red! 903 01:07:14,948 --> 01:07:17,449 I don't want to talk about any part of my face. 904 01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:23,747 But I do want to talk about what happened in the restaurant. 905 01:07:25,792 --> 01:07:27,042 I'm sorry. 906 01:07:27,460 --> 01:07:29,586 That's how we eat lobster where I come from. 907 01:07:29,713 --> 01:07:33,549 Oh, no, no, no. I don't care about that. 908 01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:35,300 No. I don't care about that. 909 01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:40,222 I was trying to do something in there, and I guess I did it very badly. 910 01:07:40,306 --> 01:07:42,015 I was trying 911 01:07:43,852 --> 01:07:46,895 to ask you if you wanted to get married. 912 01:07:50,358 --> 01:07:51,984 Madison, will you marry me? 913 01:07:59,325 --> 01:08:00,659 No. 914 01:08:01,703 --> 01:08:04,163 What? No? Just no? 915 01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:07,124 You don't want to think about it, kick it around? 916 01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:09,001 - I can't. - Why? 917 01:08:10,170 --> 01:08:11,587 I can't tell you. 918 01:08:11,671 --> 01:08:16,300 I know you have some big secret you think you can't tell me, but you can. 919 01:08:16,384 --> 01:08:18,427 - You're already married? - Allen. 920 01:08:18,511 --> 01:08:20,345 You're dying? You were once a man? 921 01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:21,930 Whatever it is, I don't care, you can tell me. 922 01:08:22,015 --> 01:08:23,223 Allen. 923 01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:25,893 I only have three days left. 924 01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:30,355 Please make them wonderful. 925 01:08:33,276 --> 01:08:34,526 Okay. 926 01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:43,702 Want to skate some more? 927 01:08:45,872 --> 01:08:47,122 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 928 01:08:51,795 --> 01:08:53,378 Allen? 929 01:09:10,897 --> 01:09:12,105 You know them? 930 01:09:12,315 --> 01:09:15,609 No, I've just seen them before. 931 01:09:15,735 --> 01:09:18,529 I guess they've been coming here together for about 40 years. 932 01:09:21,658 --> 01:09:23,200 They look very happy. 933 01:09:23,952 --> 01:09:26,203 Why shouldn't they be happy, huh? 934 01:09:26,704 --> 01:09:29,206 They get to spend their whole lives together, don't they? 935 01:09:33,253 --> 01:09:36,171 Is this really what happens when water gets cold? 936 01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:38,090 Yeah. 937 01:09:39,384 --> 01:09:41,635 Where I come from, it never gets cold. 938 01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:44,346 Well, hey, what a breakthrough! 939 01:09:44,889 --> 01:09:47,641 You just really opened up to me there. 940 01:09:51,646 --> 01:09:53,105 Your voice sounds funny. 941 01:09:53,606 --> 01:09:55,232 It's called sarcasm. 942 01:09:55,316 --> 01:09:57,526 They don't have that where you come from either? 943 01:10:00,113 --> 01:10:01,363 No. 944 01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:06,618 Well, they don't have anything, do they? 945 01:10:07,161 --> 01:10:11,248 They don't have ice, or music or clothes. 946 01:10:11,583 --> 01:10:14,209 What kind of a place is this, Madison? 947 01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:16,795 Madison? 948 01:10:17,171 --> 01:10:18,547 Madison! 949 01:10:18,798 --> 01:10:20,632 Hey, those skates are rented! 950 01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:24,386 Give me one second. Madison? Ahh! Madison! 951 01:10:27,015 --> 01:10:29,725 Madison, please? I'm sorry! 952 01:10:29,809 --> 01:10:32,603 Let her go. Show some dignity, for Christ's sake. 953 01:10:33,021 --> 01:10:34,396 Madison? 954 01:10:43,197 --> 01:10:44,489 Thanks. 955 01:12:35,810 --> 01:12:37,602 Hey, Charlie. How's it goin'? 956 01:12:43,317 --> 01:12:44,901 - Allen? - What? 957 01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:55,078 Yes. 958 01:13:10,011 --> 01:13:14,306 If we get our blood test today, we can marry tomorrow! 959 01:13:14,474 --> 01:13:16,767 Before the blood test, I have to tell you everything. 960 01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:18,226 So, tell me. 961 01:13:19,437 --> 01:13:21,396 - Not today. - But see, 962 01:13:21,481 --> 01:13:24,066 if we get the test today, no pressure, mind you, 963 01:13:24,150 --> 01:13:25,650 but if we get the blood test today, 964 01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:27,903 as soon as you tell me, we can get married. 965 01:13:28,488 --> 01:13:30,363 Listen, you will love being married to me. 966 01:13:30,490 --> 01:13:31,573 I was born to be married. 967 01:13:31,657 --> 01:13:33,992 I happen to come from a long line of married people. 968 01:13:34,077 --> 01:13:35,911 My mom and dad were married. 969 01:13:35,995 --> 01:13:37,913 Their moms and dads were married, too. 970 01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:19,371 Son of a bitch. 971 01:14:20,331 --> 01:14:22,207 I thought we were going upstairs. 972 01:14:22,291 --> 01:14:25,127 Yeah, I know. I love you. I'm not gonna lose you again. 973 01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:26,753 We are getting married tonight. 974 01:14:26,879 --> 01:14:28,505 We're gonna drive to Maryland. 975 01:14:28,589 --> 01:14:29,881 I don't know why I didn't think of it before. 976 01:14:29,966 --> 01:14:33,135 Freddie always marries there. You don't need a blood test down there. 977 01:14:33,970 --> 01:14:36,221 There's this dinner with the president. Damn! 978 01:14:36,389 --> 01:14:40,684 Hey, that's okay! We'll go to Maryland after dinner. 979 01:14:40,768 --> 01:14:42,310 We'll already be dressed up! 980 01:14:42,395 --> 01:14:43,645 I haven't told you... 981 01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:45,522 I know. You haven't told me this big secret. 982 01:14:45,606 --> 01:14:48,024 That's okay. Tell me on the way to Maryland. 983 01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:50,944 Ooh! 984 01:15:21,184 --> 01:15:24,227 You know what I hope? I hope we have a boy and a girl. 985 01:15:26,397 --> 01:15:27,898 What kind? 986 01:15:29,483 --> 01:15:32,694 What kind? The young kind, I guess. 987 01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:35,030 The older ones are a little hard to deliver. 988 01:15:35,907 --> 01:15:37,407 We're getting married tonight. 989 01:15:37,575 --> 01:15:39,618 - Wonderful. - Thank you. 990 01:15:40,745 --> 01:15:42,954 Why is this bread in here instead of out there? 991 01:15:43,289 --> 01:15:45,123 The butter is hard like a rock. 992 01:15:46,375 --> 01:15:48,126 Do you have a broken arm? 993 01:15:48,502 --> 01:15:51,963 No, it's fractured in 16 places. 994 01:15:52,465 --> 01:15:53,882 Why are you here? 995 01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:57,302 The union sent me. 996 01:15:59,513 --> 01:16:02,766 My God, the president is here! 997 01:16:03,017 --> 01:16:06,269 The president's here. The president's here! 998 01:16:24,205 --> 01:16:25,538 Hmm. 999 01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:47,185 I'm just a corn-fed Kansas boy, but you are the Big Apple of my eye. 1000 01:16:48,562 --> 01:16:52,440 Thank you. 1001 01:16:52,733 --> 01:16:54,192 Thank you very much. 1002 01:16:56,362 --> 01:16:59,197 Thank you. It's great to be back in New York. 1003 01:17:11,502 --> 01:17:13,169 Alert. Alert. Table 5. 1004 01:17:13,379 --> 01:17:15,380 Intercept busboy with suspicious hump. 1005 01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:20,677 He's reaching! Get him now! 1006 01:17:21,887 --> 01:17:23,847 - Sir, I'd like a word with you, please. - About what? 1007 01:17:24,307 --> 01:17:26,016 This has nothing to do with the president. 1008 01:17:26,225 --> 01:17:27,642 This has nothing to do with the president! 1009 01:17:31,522 --> 01:17:34,733 Well, I guess he just found out what his dinner cost. 1010 01:17:38,738 --> 01:17:42,407 I want to talk to the press. 1011 01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:45,493 I have a formal statement to make! 1012 01:17:46,412 --> 01:17:49,080 In Bob Hollins, you have a candidate for Congress 1013 01:17:49,165 --> 01:17:50,832 who is in touch with the people. 1014 01:17:51,083 --> 01:17:54,419 A man who built up the business left to him by his grandfather. 1015 01:17:55,171 --> 01:17:57,172 What was once a small pushcart on wheels... 1016 01:17:58,049 --> 01:17:59,924 - Allen? - Yeah? 1017 01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:02,093 It's time for me to tell you. 1018 01:18:03,137 --> 01:18:04,679 What? Now? 1019 01:18:05,514 --> 01:18:08,266 - Right now. - Okay. Great. 1020 01:18:08,351 --> 01:18:10,060 - Not here. - Fine. Fine. 1021 01:18:10,144 --> 01:18:12,103 But more importantly, with fresh meat. 1022 01:18:15,232 --> 01:18:17,692 I am not crazy. There's a mermaid in there. 1023 01:18:17,777 --> 01:18:19,736 - Shut up. - I am a scientist! 1024 01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:22,322 Where's the goddamn car! 1025 01:18:23,449 --> 01:18:25,033 The gray BMW. 1026 01:18:29,872 --> 01:18:31,581 Hey, I know that guy. 1027 01:18:31,832 --> 01:18:34,667 I saw him on Cape Cod. He was crazy then. 1028 01:18:36,045 --> 01:18:38,713 There she is! There she is! 1029 01:18:41,467 --> 01:18:43,301 - Don't let him shoot that. - That a gun? 1030 01:18:44,303 --> 01:18:46,096 - Hold it! - No! 1031 01:18:46,472 --> 01:18:48,139 Get that thing out of his hand. 1032 01:18:49,642 --> 01:18:51,101 Grab that hose! 1033 01:18:51,644 --> 01:18:54,521 Grab him! Get him! 1034 01:18:59,360 --> 01:19:01,236 - No! - What's going on? 1035 01:19:20,423 --> 01:19:22,424 I was right! 1036 01:19:23,342 --> 01:19:26,010 Behold the mermaid! 1037 01:19:33,227 --> 01:19:34,853 Let me outta here! 1038 01:19:35,354 --> 01:19:37,147 Who are you? What is your name? 1039 01:19:37,356 --> 01:19:38,773 Allen! 1040 01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:42,527 - What do we do? - Grab her. Grab everybody. 1041 01:19:43,362 --> 01:19:44,696 I want to see her. 1042 01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:46,030 Allen! 1043 01:19:48,367 --> 01:19:49,868 Get her! Get her! 1044 01:19:51,537 --> 01:19:52,620 Allen! 1045 01:19:57,084 --> 01:19:58,418 Please? 1046 01:19:58,544 --> 01:20:01,504 - Let's pick her up. - Allen. Allen! 1047 01:20:13,726 --> 01:20:15,393 Allen! 1048 01:20:22,610 --> 01:20:24,235 Good afternoon, Dr. Ross. 1049 01:20:25,905 --> 01:20:28,072 Dr. Hill, line 5. Stat! 1050 01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:32,410 - Buckwalter. - Sir! 1051 01:20:34,079 --> 01:20:35,580 Gentlemen. 1052 01:20:35,831 --> 01:20:37,624 - Anything? - No change. 1053 01:20:48,385 --> 01:20:50,345 I am not a fish! 1054 01:20:51,055 --> 01:20:54,432 How many times do I have to tell you that? 1055 01:20:55,643 --> 01:20:58,728 Will you just let me out of here? 1056 01:20:58,812 --> 01:21:01,689 Please? Huh? People? 1057 01:21:02,816 --> 01:21:04,275 Let's try some interaction. 1058 01:21:04,735 --> 01:21:06,528 Fine. Jim? 1059 01:21:58,956 --> 01:22:02,166 I guess they thought you might be one. 1060 01:22:04,295 --> 01:22:05,545 Yeah. 1061 01:22:06,755 --> 01:22:08,172 I guess so. 1062 01:22:10,467 --> 01:22:13,136 You said whatever my secret was, you'd understand. 1063 01:22:14,972 --> 01:22:16,306 I know. 1064 01:22:20,311 --> 01:22:22,353 You thought at least I was a human being. 1065 01:22:30,613 --> 01:22:32,363 Allen? 1066 01:22:49,048 --> 01:22:52,175 He's been in the water 12 hours. He's just a man. 1067 01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:54,927 Get him out of there so we can concentrate on her. 1068 01:23:06,607 --> 01:23:09,233 Greg Martin, WMET Radio, here with Allen Bauer. 1069 01:23:09,735 --> 01:23:12,862 - When did you meet the mermaid? - Tell me, where did you meet? 1070 01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:15,239 Did you know she was a mermaid? 1071 01:23:15,324 --> 01:23:19,118 - Did you actually make love to her? - That's a stupid question. 1072 01:23:19,203 --> 01:23:20,620 Did she eat worms? 1073 01:23:21,288 --> 01:23:23,706 Would you have to make love to her in water? 1074 01:23:23,916 --> 01:23:25,583 That's none of your business. 1075 01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:28,086 Is she a mutant or missing link? 1076 01:23:28,504 --> 01:23:29,754 No, she's not. 1077 01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:33,174 I'm from People magazine. Is she also seeing Burt Reynolds? 1078 01:23:33,759 --> 01:23:35,218 For crying out loud! 1079 01:23:39,682 --> 01:23:40,932 Leave him alone! 1080 01:23:41,433 --> 01:23:45,103 Leave him alone! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! 1081 01:23:45,896 --> 01:23:47,689 - Let me through. - Out of the way. 1082 01:23:47,773 --> 01:23:51,025 - Allen, you all right? - Yeah. Get me out of here. 1083 01:23:51,110 --> 01:23:53,319 Is anyone here from Penthouse magazine? 1084 01:23:53,404 --> 01:23:55,321 - No. - Then we ain't talking. 1085 01:24:17,511 --> 01:24:18,761 Hey, Allen? 1086 01:24:26,145 --> 01:24:27,311 What are you looking at? 1087 01:24:27,479 --> 01:24:29,731 You never saw a guy who slept with a fish before? 1088 01:24:29,815 --> 01:24:31,315 Get back to work! 1089 01:24:34,069 --> 01:24:38,614 Mr. Bauer, you had a million messages. I wrote them down right here. 1090 01:24:38,824 --> 01:24:43,953 You got calls from CBS, NBC, ABC, AP, 1091 01:24:44,329 --> 01:24:47,999 UPI, Ted Turner, Time, Newsweek, 1092 01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:50,835 Marineland, Ripley's Believe It or Not, 1093 01:24:51,170 --> 01:24:52,879 and Mrs. Paul. 1094 01:24:53,422 --> 01:24:54,922 Not now, Mrs. Stimler. 1095 01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:04,557 "Fishman"? 1096 01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:08,269 That's what they're calling you on TV, too. 1097 01:25:08,687 --> 01:25:10,354 Personally, I think it's kinda cute. 1098 01:25:15,319 --> 01:25:16,569 So, how is she? 1099 01:25:16,945 --> 01:25:18,112 How is she? 1100 01:25:18,197 --> 01:25:19,822 She's a... 1101 01:25:20,991 --> 01:25:22,200 She's a mermaid. 1102 01:25:22,868 --> 01:25:24,035 I don't understand. 1103 01:25:25,496 --> 01:25:28,039 All my life I've been waiting for someone 1104 01:25:28,707 --> 01:25:32,710 and when I find her, she's a fish. 1105 01:25:33,837 --> 01:25:35,379 Nobody said love's perfect! 1106 01:25:35,756 --> 01:25:40,092 Oh, Freddie, I don't expect it to be perfect, 1107 01:25:40,177 --> 01:25:42,970 but for God's sake, it's usually human! 1108 01:25:45,390 --> 01:25:48,100 Every day people meet and they fall in love. 1109 01:25:48,310 --> 01:25:49,602 Look what I got. 1110 01:25:51,772 --> 01:25:54,899 Look what you got. Yeah, let's look at what you got. 1111 01:25:56,443 --> 01:25:58,736 Let's take a good look at what you got. 1112 01:25:59,571 --> 01:26:01,656 People fall in love every day, huh? Is that what you said? 1113 01:26:01,740 --> 01:26:03,157 - Yeah. - Yeah? 1114 01:26:03,242 --> 01:26:05,701 That's a crock! It doesn't work that way. 1115 01:26:06,745 --> 01:26:08,788 Do you realize how happy you were with her? 1116 01:26:08,872 --> 01:26:11,207 That is, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. 1117 01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:14,210 Every day? Come on. 1118 01:26:14,753 --> 01:26:18,297 Some people will never be that happy! I'll never be that happy. 1119 01:26:23,387 --> 01:26:24,846 What am I talking to you for? 1120 01:26:25,389 --> 01:26:27,390 You don't know nothing. Mrs. Stimler? 1121 01:27:01,633 --> 01:27:03,134 Does she look a little pale? 1122 01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:07,388 Ah, that's a good day's work. 1123 01:27:07,890 --> 01:27:10,808 Tomorrow, I want to see how she interacts 1124 01:27:10,893 --> 01:27:14,270 with other marine life, then the internal examination. 1125 01:27:16,857 --> 01:27:18,316 Internal examination. 1126 01:27:18,817 --> 01:27:21,444 Of course. I want to study her pulmonary system, 1127 01:27:21,528 --> 01:27:23,237 reproductive organs, everything! 1128 01:27:23,322 --> 01:27:24,614 Dr. Ross? 1129 01:27:26,199 --> 01:27:28,159 Are we considering 1130 01:27:28,785 --> 01:27:32,413 how the subject is responding to the examination procedure? 1131 01:27:32,539 --> 01:27:34,498 I'm considering everything! 1132 01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:39,712 Ah, yes. Well, I'm sure you are, Dr. Ross. 1133 01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:42,840 How stupid of me. But let me ask you this. 1134 01:27:42,925 --> 01:27:47,178 Are you considering the possibility that you might be a sadistic pig? 1135 01:27:52,017 --> 01:27:55,436 While we are baring our souls, Mr. Kornbluth, 1136 01:27:55,520 --> 01:27:59,148 I must honestly tell you I have never considered you a man of science. 1137 01:27:59,691 --> 01:28:02,151 You're not a member of my team. 1138 01:28:02,694 --> 01:28:07,031 Run along, Walter. See if you can't find a unicorn. 1139 01:29:16,935 --> 01:29:17,935 What's that? 1140 01:29:18,020 --> 01:29:19,812 Painkiller, Mr. Kornbluth. 1141 01:29:19,980 --> 01:29:22,273 Whoever punched you cracked your tooth. 1142 01:29:22,607 --> 01:29:25,067 We'll be very close to the nerve. 1143 01:29:25,277 --> 01:29:28,571 I don't deserve painkiller. Just drill. 1144 01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:32,950 Oh, you want pain. Well, we aim to please. 1145 01:29:36,621 --> 01:29:37,705 Get out. 1146 01:29:38,040 --> 01:29:39,582 - What are you... - Get out! 1147 01:29:39,875 --> 01:29:42,209 - Ja, ja, ja. - Please stay. Ahh! 1148 01:29:45,464 --> 01:29:46,630 Let's talk. 1149 01:29:49,718 --> 01:29:51,719 Hey, put that down. 1150 01:29:51,845 --> 01:29:54,138 - Put that needle down. - Stay away from me. 1151 01:29:54,306 --> 01:29:56,640 I said, "Let's talk." Put it down. 1152 01:29:56,725 --> 01:29:58,059 Stay away from me. 1153 01:30:04,024 --> 01:30:05,357 Ahhh! 1154 01:30:05,901 --> 01:30:09,320 Ahhh! Ohhh! 1155 01:30:11,073 --> 01:30:12,239 Uh. 1156 01:30:14,659 --> 01:30:20,790 Ah! 1157 01:30:21,416 --> 01:30:23,042 What a week I'm having! 1158 01:30:26,505 --> 01:30:28,214 You've destroyed my life, Kornbluth. 1159 01:30:28,465 --> 01:30:29,799 I didn't mean to. 1160 01:30:31,802 --> 01:30:34,303 I just had to prove that I wasn't crazy. 1161 01:30:35,013 --> 01:30:36,472 I'm a man of science. 1162 01:30:40,227 --> 01:30:42,978 I just didn't think about how it would affect you. 1163 01:30:44,564 --> 01:30:45,815 Or her. 1164 01:30:47,025 --> 01:30:48,359 I'm really a nice guy. 1165 01:30:49,069 --> 01:30:50,736 If I had friends, you could ask them. 1166 01:30:52,197 --> 01:30:53,823 I've been on the phone to every employee 1167 01:30:53,907 --> 01:30:55,407 of the United States government 1168 01:30:55,575 --> 01:30:57,076 calling them sons of bitches. 1169 01:31:00,080 --> 01:31:02,206 Nobody could even get in to see her. 1170 01:31:05,168 --> 01:31:06,252 I can. 1171 01:31:09,506 --> 01:31:11,215 Come on. Come on! 1172 01:31:11,716 --> 01:31:13,384 - Ahh! - Come on. 1173 01:31:55,343 --> 01:31:59,305 Good afternoon, Dr. Kornbluth. I wasn't expecting you today. 1174 01:31:59,389 --> 01:32:02,933 These are Drs. Jarred and Johannsen from the Stockholm Institute. 1175 01:32:03,435 --> 01:32:05,227 I thought they were coming later with Dr. Ross. 1176 01:32:06,730 --> 01:32:09,773 No, no. That story was to fool the press. 1177 01:32:12,152 --> 01:32:13,777 You know, I'm half Swedish. 1178 01:32:18,783 --> 01:32:20,451 - Ja. - Ja. 1179 01:32:24,122 --> 01:32:26,582 - Ja. - Oh, ja. 1180 01:32:28,543 --> 01:32:29,627 Well! 1181 01:32:30,295 --> 01:32:31,712 Just a second. 1182 01:32:48,188 --> 01:32:49,313 Ah. 1183 01:33:01,993 --> 01:33:04,328 - How the hell did you do that? - Let me tell you. 1184 01:33:04,621 --> 01:33:06,914 Many nudie films come from Sweden. 1185 01:33:07,082 --> 01:33:10,876 After you see them 400 or 500 times, the stuff sinks in. 1186 01:33:13,046 --> 01:33:14,171 Afternoon, Buckwalter. 1187 01:33:14,256 --> 01:33:16,423 Sorry, no one comes in 1188 01:33:16,549 --> 01:33:18,509 until Dr. Ross gets back with them Swede people. 1189 01:33:19,177 --> 01:33:20,511 These are the Swedish doctors. 1190 01:33:21,346 --> 01:33:22,930 These are Swedes? 1191 01:33:24,099 --> 01:33:25,891 Ah, come here. 1192 01:33:26,268 --> 01:33:29,687 Isn't that one kinda dark? 1193 01:33:30,689 --> 01:33:32,356 He's dirty from the trip! 1194 01:33:32,691 --> 01:33:34,316 Let us in. 1195 01:33:34,401 --> 01:33:36,735 - I'm not supposed to. - What are you afraid of? 1196 01:33:37,195 --> 01:33:39,905 Do you think we're gonna steal the mermaid? 1197 01:33:41,533 --> 01:33:44,118 Steal the mermaid. Stealing the mermaid! 1198 01:33:44,202 --> 01:33:46,704 Are we gonna fold her in half and put her in a briefcase? 1199 01:33:46,788 --> 01:33:48,789 In a briefcase. In half. 1200 01:33:49,332 --> 01:33:51,500 I guess it's all right. 1201 01:33:51,584 --> 01:33:53,419 Go in. Go in. 1202 01:33:53,712 --> 01:33:55,587 - Good joke, there. - Yeah. 1203 01:34:30,415 --> 01:34:32,124 - Hi. - Hi. 1204 01:34:34,044 --> 01:34:36,420 Is this the big secret you've been keeping? 1205 01:34:37,005 --> 01:34:39,465 That you're a mermaid, or is there something else? 1206 01:34:40,258 --> 01:34:41,759 No, that's it. 1207 01:34:44,971 --> 01:34:47,806 Allen, don't feel guilty. 1208 01:34:48,391 --> 01:34:49,767 Guilty? About what? 1209 01:34:50,602 --> 01:34:52,186 About not loving me anymore. 1210 01:34:54,356 --> 01:34:56,607 Oh, Madison. 1211 01:34:57,192 --> 01:35:00,819 All the time we were together, you always knew how I was feeling. 1212 01:35:02,238 --> 01:35:03,781 Can't you tell now? 1213 01:35:13,833 --> 01:35:16,919 Well, left my wife in New Orleans 1214 01:35:17,087 --> 01:35:19,171 48 kids and a can of beans 1215 01:35:19,381 --> 01:35:20,756 Left, right, one, two 1216 01:35:20,840 --> 01:35:22,257 Oh, my God! 1217 01:35:22,342 --> 01:35:24,134 - What? - Stand back, man. 1218 01:35:24,469 --> 01:35:27,304 Cover his face, for God's sake! 1219 01:35:27,972 --> 01:35:30,182 What happened? What's going on? 1220 01:35:30,308 --> 01:35:33,227 Dr. Johannsen bent down to examine that creature. 1221 01:35:33,311 --> 01:35:36,021 And suddenly these rays came out of her eyes! 1222 01:35:36,272 --> 01:35:39,274 Don't go in there! She'll melt your face off. 1223 01:35:39,484 --> 01:35:41,568 I knew something would happen. What should I do? 1224 01:35:41,653 --> 01:35:44,071 Don't whine. Seal off the area. 1225 01:35:44,155 --> 01:35:45,364 I'll call the Pentagon. 1226 01:35:45,490 --> 01:35:48,075 Are you crazy? You want to create a national panic? 1227 01:35:48,159 --> 01:35:50,035 I don't want to die! 1228 01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:51,495 Pull yourself together. 1229 01:35:51,579 --> 01:35:53,747 Don't let anybody in that room. 1230 01:35:53,832 --> 01:35:57,042 I'll be back with nuclear weapons. Come on, Doctor. 1231 01:36:24,863 --> 01:36:27,072 Good afternoon, Dr. Ross. Who are your guests? 1232 01:36:27,157 --> 01:36:29,700 Drs. Jarred and Johannsen from the Swedish Institute. 1233 01:36:30,535 --> 01:36:31,869 Sir? 1234 01:36:32,579 --> 01:36:36,540 Dr. Kornbluth left with the Swedes a few minutes ago. 1235 01:36:44,382 --> 01:36:47,301 Hiya, boys. Come in. The water's fine. 1236 01:36:50,513 --> 01:36:54,183 Let's get her back, now! And arrest him. 1237 01:37:09,282 --> 01:37:12,534 We have a blue BMW. Over. 1238 01:37:35,934 --> 01:37:37,851 Come on. 1239 01:37:38,770 --> 01:37:41,563 Know something? I don't think we're being followed. 1240 01:37:42,148 --> 01:37:44,775 Wha... Well, that was easy. 1241 01:37:45,109 --> 01:37:47,778 That was simple! We did it! 1242 01:37:48,446 --> 01:37:50,697 - My plan. - You're a genius. 1243 01:37:50,782 --> 01:37:53,534 I am a genius, but you came in with the Swedish thing. 1244 01:37:53,618 --> 01:37:56,411 That was a brilliant touch. 1245 01:37:57,372 --> 01:37:59,331 I didn't even like you when we first met. 1246 01:37:59,415 --> 01:38:01,667 Nobody likes me when they first meet me. 1247 01:38:03,711 --> 01:38:04,920 Allen? 1248 01:38:12,971 --> 01:38:15,097 - Move! - All right. Here we go! 1249 01:38:31,823 --> 01:38:34,032 Suspect heading south on Broadway. 1250 01:39:06,691 --> 01:39:10,193 Unit One. Lost them in the Wall Street district. Over. 1251 01:39:14,115 --> 01:39:15,157 - Stop the car. - What? 1252 01:39:15,241 --> 01:39:18,118 Stop and let me out. I'll slow them down. Do it! 1253 01:39:25,043 --> 01:39:28,086 I caused all this. Now I'm gonna finish it. 1254 01:39:37,221 --> 01:39:38,764 Get the hell out of here. 1255 01:39:39,599 --> 01:39:40,891 Go! 1256 01:39:58,743 --> 01:40:00,243 Whoa! Ooh. 1257 01:40:03,081 --> 01:40:05,248 What a week I'm having! 1258 01:40:20,848 --> 01:40:23,100 Hey, Mac, move that thing out of here. 1259 01:40:24,602 --> 01:40:26,895 Up yours, Gomer. I'm waitin' for a fare. 1260 01:40:34,612 --> 01:40:37,197 Heave! 1261 01:40:39,117 --> 01:40:40,867 All right. Move out. 1262 01:40:42,578 --> 01:40:43,912 Come on, let's go! 1263 01:41:10,815 --> 01:41:13,150 - I was ready to stay with you forever. - I know. 1264 01:41:13,317 --> 01:41:15,986 They know who you are. They won't leave you alone. 1265 01:41:16,654 --> 01:41:18,447 I can't ever come back to you. 1266 01:41:19,490 --> 01:41:21,158 I wish I could go with you. 1267 01:41:22,493 --> 01:41:23,618 You can. 1268 01:41:23,870 --> 01:41:25,871 - How? - It can be done. 1269 01:41:26,414 --> 01:41:30,083 Remember when you were eight and fell off the ship? 1270 01:41:30,418 --> 01:41:32,461 You were safe under the water, weren't you? 1271 01:41:33,838 --> 01:41:34,963 Yeah. 1272 01:41:35,673 --> 01:41:37,174 You were with me. 1273 01:41:39,135 --> 01:41:40,719 You mean, that was real? 1274 01:41:42,221 --> 01:41:43,722 That was you? 1275 01:41:44,682 --> 01:41:46,183 That was you! 1276 01:41:50,521 --> 01:41:52,647 This is great. This is great! 1277 01:41:52,815 --> 01:41:56,026 I can go with you and still come back and see Freddie at Christmas. 1278 01:41:58,196 --> 01:41:59,780 You can't ever come back. 1279 01:42:13,961 --> 01:42:15,462 Madison. 1280 01:42:18,508 --> 01:42:20,008 I understand. 1281 01:42:29,852 --> 01:42:33,688 You on the dock, don't move. You're under arrest. 1282 01:42:34,232 --> 01:42:38,401 Let the girl go. Step back. You're under arrest. 1283 01:42:38,569 --> 01:42:40,070 You have to go. 1284 01:42:40,530 --> 01:42:42,113 Move out. Let's go! 1285 01:42:43,866 --> 01:42:45,450 I love you, Madison. 1286 01:42:47,745 --> 01:42:48,912 Go. 1287 01:42:51,290 --> 01:42:53,083 Go! 1288 01:43:00,258 --> 01:43:02,133 Get that guy on the dock. 1289 01:43:04,178 --> 01:43:10,225 Leave her alone! 1290 01:43:21,279 --> 01:43:22,612 Madison. 1291 01:43:30,037 --> 01:43:31,329 Madison! 1292 01:43:42,174 --> 01:43:44,301 Stay where you are. We'll get you out. 1293 01:43:48,097 --> 01:43:50,682 Madison! 1294 01:44:38,397 --> 01:44:40,065 Ooh! 1295 01:45:12,682 --> 01:45:15,141 One fine day 1296 01:45:17,728 --> 01:45:21,231 Love came for me 1297 01:45:24,068 --> 01:45:27,529 And love was rare 1298 01:45:29,991 --> 01:45:33,743 As love can be 1299 01:45:35,913 --> 01:45:40,583 I saw stars 1300 01:45:41,585 --> 01:45:46,756 Shining in clear blue skies 1301 01:45:47,550 --> 01:45:51,344 We flowed together 1302 01:45:53,305 --> 01:45:57,308 Once and forever 1303 01:45:59,145 --> 01:46:03,314 Love came for me 1304 01:46:05,192 --> 01:46:08,862 One fine night 1305 01:46:10,948 --> 01:46:14,659 Love let us see 1306 01:46:16,829 --> 01:46:20,290 How far we'll go 1307 01:46:22,626 --> 01:46:26,296 How good we'll be 1308 01:46:28,382 --> 01:46:32,635 We saw a world 1309 01:46:33,596 --> 01:46:38,850 No one ever saw before 1310 01:46:40,102 --> 01:46:43,438 It was the world 1311 01:46:43,522 --> 01:46:46,316 Love can start 1312 01:46:47,026 --> 01:46:51,404 With a beat of a heart 1313 01:46:51,739 --> 01:46:55,742 Love came for me 1314 01:47:21,477 --> 01:47:25,105 I saw stars 1315 01:47:26,816 --> 01:47:31,528 Shining in clear blue skies 1316 01:47:32,696 --> 01:47:36,199 We flowed together 1317 01:47:38,452 --> 01:47:42,372 Once and forever 1318 01:47:44,416 --> 01:47:48,253 Love came for me 1319 01:47:50,256 --> 01:47:53,716 One fine night 1320 01:47:56,011 --> 01:47:59,722 Love let us see 1321 01:48:01,851 --> 01:48:05,562 How far we'll go 1322 01:48:07,690 --> 01:48:11,234 How good we'll be 1323 01:48:13,612 --> 01:48:17,824 We saw a world 1324 01:48:18,742 --> 01:48:24,289 No one ever saw before 1325 01:48:25,249 --> 01:48:28,543 It was the world 1326 01:48:28,627 --> 01:48:31,421 Love can start 1327 01:48:32,256 --> 01:48:36,759 With a beat of a heart 1328 01:48:37,094 --> 01:48:52,525 Love came for me 88422