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1
00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:03,139
[mid-tempo music]
2
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:05,667
- You, Eleanor Shellstrop,
are dead.
3
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,243
- Cool.
4
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,641
- Eleanor, you are my soul mate.
5
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:12,513
- There's been a big mistake.
6
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,513
I'm not supposed to be here.
7
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,505
- Wait, what?
8
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,116
- These people might be good,
9
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,449
but are they really that much better than me?
10
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:23,164
[thunder booms]
11
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,357
Chidi: Eleanor!
12
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,328
This is all happening because of you!
13
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,327
- Give me a chance.
14
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,128
Let me earn my place here.
15
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,100
Let me be your ethical
guinea pig.
16
00:00:31,098 --> 00:00:33,768
My soul is in your hands,
soul mate.
17
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:38,166
- I, uh--I don't know what to do here.
18
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,542
This is a mess,
morally speaking.
19
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,611
This is a putrid,
disgusting bowl
20
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,631
of ethical soup.
21
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,649
- Okay, well how about
we just chill
22
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,478
and go to the town meeting
23
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,153
and talk it out after?
24
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,282
- W--
- Great.
25
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,816
Hey, how do I make
that helper woman show up?
26
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:57,362
Hello?
Front desk lady?
27
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,158
Magical slave robot?
28
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,160
- Excuse me, Janet?
29
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,091
- Hi there.
- [gasps]
30
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,825
Gah--still not used to it.
31
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:04,830
Um, Janet, I need--
32
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,532
quick question:
33
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,674
can anyone access
our search history,
34
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:11,599
or is this an incognito
browsing situation
35
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,165
like when you're stalking
a hot mailman
36
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,174
from your work computer?
37
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,805
- It is 100% confidential.
38
00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:17,710
No one can access
what you ask me,
39
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,181
including Michael.
40
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,350
Now, what kind of pornography
would you like to see?
41
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,818
- No.
No, no, no, not porn.
42
00:01:22,817 --> 00:01:24,817
I, um--I need clothes
43
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:27,249
like yours and Chidi's
with the stripes.
44
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,324
- There you go.
45
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,723
[indistinct chatter]
46
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,124
[claps]
- Everybody, everybody!
47
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,526
Uh, gather round, please,
thank you, thank you.
48
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,728
Obviously, there's
something very wrong
49
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:37,800
with this neighborhood.
50
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,298
We don't know what it is,
51
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,471
how long it will last,
52
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,839
or what caused it.
53
00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:44,167
What do we know, Janet?
54
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,111
- We know where it happened.
55
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:46,867
Here.
56
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:47,874
- Yes, thank you, Janet.
57
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,775
The chaos happened here.
58
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,337
See, that's the trouble
with these perfect systems.
59
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,246
One little flaw can lead to--
60
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:56,879
well, it can lead to
61
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,224
Gary over there.
62
00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,249
[indistinct murmuring]
63
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,453
Hey, Gary.
64
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,194
Hang in there, buddy.
65
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:04,759
Boy, my armpits are leaking.
66
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:05,758
What is that called again?
67
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,329
- Sweat.
- Right, right.
68
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:08,887
Still not used to being
in a human body.
69
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,256
And what do you do
with sweat?
70
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,804
Do--do you lick it away,
is that right?
71
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,429
- No, you dab it
with a cloth.
72
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,704
- Oh, right.
73
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:17,373
And then you lick the cloth?
74
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,841
That seems weirder.
75
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,340
- Michael.
76
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:22,712
Look!
77
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,340
- Okay.
That's a good sign.
78
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,545
It--it could mean that
this is almost over.
79
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,807
- Oh, such a relief.
80
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,716
That was my first time
as a fashion "don't,"
81
00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,888
and I did not care for it.
82
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:34,887
[mid-tempo music]
83
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:39,929
♪ ♪
84
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:43,157
- Okay, things are settling down outside.
85
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,864
I think it's time
86
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:48,865
to make me good, partner.
How do we do it?
87
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:49,939
Is there a pill I can take
88
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,297
or something I could vape?
89
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:53,936
Where did you get
a chalkboard?
90
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,311
- It's the Good Place;
91
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,239
you can get anything
you want at any time.
92
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,484
- And you chose
a chalkboard?
93
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,850
What are you reading?
94
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,548
- "The Metaphysics of Morals"
by Immanuel Kant.
95
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,781
It's a treatise on
the aesthetic preconditions
96
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,816
of the mind's receptivity
to duty.
97
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,292
A book on how to act good.
98
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,521
- Oh, great!
99
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,815
So you've decided
to help me?
100
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,456
- I don't know.
There's a thousand questions.
101
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:18,632
Is there a moral imperative
to help you?
102
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,772
Do I have a greater obligation
to my community?
103
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,598
Are you taking
someone else's spot,
104
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:23,943
someone who deserves
to be here?
105
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,638
- Ooh, on that question,
106
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:26,969
I honestly think
107
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,844
I was just put here
by mistake.
108
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,242
Because Michael called me
Eleanor Shellstrop,
109
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,945
so he knows I'm me.
110
00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:35,377
He's just wrong about my
111
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,422
overall "quality" level.
112
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:38,748
Please, help me, man.
113
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,492
I swear I am worth it.
114
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,888
- Tell me one fact
115
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,520
that you know about me.
116
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,225
I mean, we spent
the whole day together.
117
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,657
You must remember something.
118
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,802
What country am I from?
119
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:52,857
- [groans]
Is it racist if I say Africa?
120
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,766
- Yes, and Africa
is not a country.
121
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:56,899
I am from Senegal.
122
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,804
Do I have any siblings?
123
00:03:58,806 --> 00:03:59,836
Where did I go to college?
124
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,410
- Trick question.
125
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,408
You didn't.
126
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,339
- I was literally
127
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,605
a college professor.
128
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:08,313
Do you not remember
one single thing about me?
129
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,515
- Dude, things have been
nuts around here.
130
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,517
I bet you don't know
anything about me.
131
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,849
- You were born in Phoenix.
You went to school in Tempe.
132
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:15,885
You're an only child.
133
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,309
Your favorite show
is something called
134
00:04:17,307 --> 00:04:18,717
"The Real Housewives
of Atlanta,"
135
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:20,956
and your favorite...book
136
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,931
is Kendall Jenner's
Instagram feed.
137
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,331
- How did you know all that?
138
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:28,002
- Because you are
constantly talking
139
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,772
about yourself.
140
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,040
You are the most
self-obsessed person
141
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,509
I have ever met.
142
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,837
- You should see
Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed.
143
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,583
- Okay, this is my fear
about you, Eleanor.
144
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,438
You are too selfish
145
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,546
to ever be a good person.
146
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,848
- Well, I think you're wrong.
147
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:43,980
- What country
am I from, again?
148
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,684
- Sen...
149
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,316
sodyne.
150
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,921
- That is a brand
of toothpaste.
151
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,422
Look, the only thing
that you are concerned with
152
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,055
is your own happiness.
153
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,961
That's your problem.
154
00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:59,732
- [scoffs]
155
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,973
Okay, names in the hat.
156
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,898
Time to pick
a designated driver.
157
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:07,474
And the loser is...
158
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,874
Betsy.
159
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,036
- Wait, you never get picked,
160
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:11,844
and you're always the one
who draws the name.
161
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,645
Let me see that.
- There's no need.
162
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:17,747
Everyone here believes in
my integrity 100%, right, guys?
163
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,891
- Give it to me.
164
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,947
- For the record,
165
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,485
I did that out of principle,
166
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,960
because it absolutely
had your name on it.
167
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:27,328
- If I check the other ones,
I can figure it out
168
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,958
by process of elimination.
169
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,572
- Again...
170
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,867
Out of principle.
171
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,568
Let it wash over you, Betsy.
172
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,870
This is what integrity
looks like.
173
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,639
- All right, everyone,
let's get started.
174
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,114
Things have settled down.
175
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,582
Whew!
[chuckles]
176
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,480
So hopefully,
we're off and running.
177
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,522
Welcome to orientation,
day two.
178
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,518
Now, today we're gonna start
with something
179
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,860
that everyone
has always wanted to do.
180
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,057
Flying.
181
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,058
[gasps and warm applause]
182
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,030
Now that you're dead,
let's live a little, right?
183
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,930
- Uh, sorry.
Uh, Michael?
184
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:06,973
If--if I might?
185
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,467
I was just thinking,
186
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,699
earlier today
in all of the chaos,
187
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,514
large swaths of this
neighborhood were destroyed.
188
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,937
We thought perhaps
some of us
189
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,112
could, uh, volunteer
to help clean up the debris.
190
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,511
You know, it's quite
a fun way
191
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,552
to band together
as a community,
192
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,807
isn't that right, Jianyu?
193
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:23,976
Oh, uh, yeah, sorry.
194
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,424
For those of you
who don't know,
195
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,489
my soul mate, Jianyu here,
is a Buddhist monk.
196
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:30,618
He took a vow of silence
that he's still observing,
197
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,924
even here,
in the Good Place.
198
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,726
It's truly inspiring.
199
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,958
- Well, Tahani,
it's not really your job
200
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,064
to clean up,
but I suppose there's no harm
201
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,626
if you really want to.
202
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,004
- Oh, well, hurrah.
203
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,742
We need about, uh,
12 volunteers.
204
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,068
- Oh!
205
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,443
- I can't believe all these
people are passing on flying
206
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:49,982
to pick up garbage all day.
207
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,437
[chuckles]
Have fun, nerds.
208
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:55,946
I'll be soaring through the air
like a forkin' bird.
209
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,449
- Eleanor and I
would love to help.
210
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,151
- Ah, hurrah-hurrah, yay.
211
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:00,503
- Dude.
212
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,853
- You want to prove
you're not selfish?
213
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,015
Here's the perfect test.
214
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,863
There's something fun
that you want to do,
215
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,688
and then there's something
less fun that people are doing
216
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:07,863
for the common good.
217
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:08,961
Which do you choose?
218
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:13,828
- Have fun.
219
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,804
- Whoo!
220
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,643
[woman laughing]
221
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,538
- Hey!
[people chattering]
222
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,610
- Yeah!
223
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,667
- Whee!
224
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,436
- Hey, up there,
225
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:27,645
having fun, or does it
maybe suck, probably?
226
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,208
- Well, I wouldn't call it fun,
227
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,446
I'd say it's like
228
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,681
50 million
simultaneous orgasms,
229
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,186
but better.
230
00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:35,818
How's volunteer
garbage pickup?
231
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,863
- About the same.
- Great!
232
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,688
Whee!
233
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:42,829
.
234
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,560
- You know, this really reminds
me of my time in Vietnam,
235
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:48,496
picking up mortar shells
with my godmother, Diana.
236
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,502
Doesn't really matter
of what she's a princess of.
237
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,604
It's not really important.
238
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,505
- Tahani!
How goes the cleaning?
239
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,137
- Oh, swimmingly, Michael.
240
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,512
And I have to say
241
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,480
this neighborhood
that you've built
242
00:07:57,478 --> 00:07:59,538
is truly a masterpiece,
243
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:01,076
the likes of which
I've never seen.
244
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,251
And I've been to Johnny Depp's
private bird sanctuary.
245
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,180
- Well, thank you.
That's very kind of you to say.
246
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,485
[sniffs]
247
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:09,087
But it's also dead wrong.
248
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,619
This neighborhood is a disaster.
249
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,855
See, I must have made
a mistake somewhere.
250
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,561
[sniffs]
And it led to all this chaos,
251
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:16,832
and now I'm just--
I'm just terrified
252
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,060
that it's gonna happen again.
253
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,695
I'm trying to put
a good face on
254
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,641
well, this--this face that
I've constructed for myself.
255
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,737
But the truth is,
256
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:28,639
I--I'm just miserable.
[sniffs]
257
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:29,842
I have to go.
258
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,113
Thank you so much
for your service.
259
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,612
- Oh, no.
260
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,714
Powerful people do not
handle failure well.
261
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:39,646
Michael could be heading
for a total meltdown.
262
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,223
Soul mate,
263
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,721
are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
264
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,223
Should we say it
at the same time?
265
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,034
All right.
One, two, three.
266
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,727
We must help Michael.
267
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,029
Oh, you sly devil.
268
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,161
You're going to keep me
on my toes, aren't you?
269
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,166
All right, come on.
Let's go.
270
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,968
- [giggling]
271
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,000
Oh.
- Ooh.
272
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,795
- Hey, Gunnar!
Hey, Antonio!
273
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:00,866
- Hey, Eleanor.
274
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,574
Isn't this great?
- Um, yeah.
275
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,076
When I thought
of the afterlife,
276
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,607
I totally pictured
277
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:08,312
being an unpaid,
non-flying janitor.
278
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,045
- Us too!
279
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,120
[laughter]
280
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,548
- You guys are so fun.
281
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,023
Just relentlessly fun.
282
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,591
I keep thinking, "When are they
gonna stop being fun?"
283
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,160
And the answer is never.
284
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:22,328
You're never gonna stop.
[both giggling]
285
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,329
Well, I have had
a pretty full day
286
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,201
of being unselfish.
287
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,299
I've made some new friends.
288
00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:29,801
My area's almost
garbage-free.
289
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,003
So you're gonna
help me figure out
290
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,095
how to stay, right?
291
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,836
- Well, that is
a really tough question.
292
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,911
Most great philosophers
would say
293
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,280
helping you is pointless,
294
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,878
that you can't try
to be good,
295
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,280
especially when your motivations
are so obviously corrupt.
296
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,282
- Yeah, but what do
most great philosophers know?
297
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,685
- On the other hand,
Aristotle
298
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,287
thought that moral virtue
is something
299
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,618
that you could get better at.
300
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,323
He--he compared it
to playing the flute.
301
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:53,085
The more you practice,
the more you improve.
302
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,233
- Aristotle!
That's my boy, right there.
303
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,698
He was the best.
304
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,157
I mean, most people agree
he was the best one.
305
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:02,266
So it sounds to me
like you are on board
306
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,799
the "help Eleanor" train.
307
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,504
- Well, I've narrowed it down
to two possibilities:
308
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,205
yes and no.
309
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,207
- Well, no worries.
310
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,739
Just hit me up
when you're done
311
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,305
weighing my life
in your hands.
312
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,153
I'll just keep doing
what I do best:
313
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,648
being super considerate
314
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,220
and selfless.
315
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,319
[exhales]
316
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,320
Hey, guys.
317
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,851
- Okay, Eleanor, reminder.
318
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:24,385
We switched
to a rotating system
319
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,221
for choosing
a designated driver,
320
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,656
and it's your turn.
321
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:28,891
- Got it.
322
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,155
Full disclosure,
323
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,963
I forgot we were doing
this new system.
324
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,155
I got off work early.
325
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,966
I've been here
for about an hour,
326
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,398
and I'm already pretty drunk.
327
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:38,944
- Someone else will do it.
328
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,089
- Good call.
329
00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:41,239
Guess the only place
I'll be driving
330
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,771
is through
the giant loophole
331
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,776
in the system
I accidentally discovered.
332
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,279
Beep! Beep!
333
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,810
[laughs]
334
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,075
[slurping]
335
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,323
Whoo!
336
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,718
- Whoa!
[people cheering]
337
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:56,121
- I can't believe
they've managed to mix
338
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,723
one million flavors together,
339
00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:00,334
and yet, somehow, I can taste
each individual one.
340
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,787
It's remarkable.
341
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,225
- I got no-flavor.
342
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:06,161
It's all I deserve, really.
- No.
343
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,296
- Look, I--I appreciate
you trying to cheer me up.
344
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,401
I really do,
but you don't understand.
345
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:12,704
This was the very first
neighborhood
346
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,206
that I got to design.
347
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,137
It was my chance
to prove myself,
348
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,343
and now I've blown it.
349
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,244
- You know, sometimes
a flaw can make something
350
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,676
even more beautiful,
351
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,781
like with Cindy Crawford
and how short she is.
352
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:23,923
- Oh, Tahani,
353
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,317
if I made one tiny mistake
in my design,
354
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,449
if there's a single glitch
in the system,
355
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,385
if even one blade of grass
356
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:34,360
is angled a--a fraction
of a degree off...
357
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,291
[dog whimpers]
358
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:40,096
The whole neighborhood
is compromised.
359
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,700
Whose dog is that?
360
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:45,142
Guys, whose dog is that?
361
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,868
Whose dog is that?
362
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:50,813
See, this is one of those
glitches I was talking about.
363
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,781
Nice try, puppy!
364
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,877
[dog whimpering]
365
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,250
[dog whimpers,
pop]
366
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,294
Whew!
[chuckles]
367
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,790
That was a close one.
368
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,891
- Teacup?
369
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,233
Hey, have you seen my dog?
370
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,926
- [grunts]
371
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:20,004
Shouldn't these be
magical trash bags?
372
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,466
- Five more minutes,
flyers!
373
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:22,735
Five more minutes!
374
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,143
- Oh, man, really?
375
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,154
[bright instrumental music]
376
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:33,117
♪ ♪
377
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,820
Janet, I'm finished
with cleanup,
378
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,091
and I'm ready to fly.
379
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,859
How do I start?
- Hop on the launch pad
380
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:40,328
and conjure an image
that brings you pure joy.
381
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,127
Some people think
of their wedding day
382
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,259
or favorite vacation spot.
383
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,134
- People puking
on roller coasters.
384
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,474
People puking
on roller coasters.
385
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,469
[gasps]
386
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,470
[laughs]
It's working!
387
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,412
Ow!
What the fork?
388
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,777
[thunder crashing]
389
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,438
Janet, any chance this is
390
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,346
a scheduled trash storm?
391
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,123
- So here's the situation,
Pevita.
392
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,549
I kind of kicked your dog
into the sun.
393
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,315
But I got her back.
394
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,363
[dog whimpers and growls]
Everything--
395
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,489
everything seems fine.
396
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,433
- Teacup, thank goodness
you're okay.
397
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,399
- Everyone, it is merely
a construct of a dog.
398
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:23,299
It feels no pain
or joy or love.
399
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,473
- Teacup doesn't love me?
400
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,672
- Oh!
401
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:29,873
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
it definitely feels love.
402
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:32,136
Do you actually want a dog that
loves you a little bit more?
403
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,575
Because I can kick her
right back into the sun
404
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,180
and get you another one
just like that.
405
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,852
- No!
- Oh, boy.
406
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,020
I'm making things worse.
407
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,218
- Okay, all right,
that's all right.
408
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,449
Breathe.
Breathe--do you breathe?
409
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,293
- Mm-hmm.
- If you do, then just breathe
410
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,389
'cause everything's fine,
Michael, it's fine.
411
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,821
Ooh!
412
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,186
[wind whistling]
413
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,934
- It's raining garbage.
414
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,529
Run!
415
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,100
- Ooh, ooh, no, no, no,
I'm gonna run this way.
416
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:56,199
[garbage clattering]
417
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,106
- Chidi! Hey.
418
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:04,307
Before you say anything...
419
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,111
That's it, I just don't
want you to say anything.
420
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,582
- What did you do?
- Nothing!
421
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:09,581
It just started
raining trash
422
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:12,323
out of nowhere
for no reason at all.
423
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,249
[thunder crashes]
[screams]
424
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,423
Oh--okay, fine, fine.
425
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,922
My bag broke,
and I ditched the trash
426
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,894
instead of taking it
all the way to the dumpster.
427
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,463
But in my defense,
428
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,331
there were only
five minutes left in flying
429
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:24,960
and I wanted to go flying.
430
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,225
- How is that a defense?
431
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,273
You made a bad choice.
432
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:28,627
- I made a bad choice?
433
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,965
We could have
literally been flying,
434
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,371
and all you wanted to do
was talk about morals.
435
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,043
I mean, you're like
the worst part of Superman.
436
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,312
- This is a relief.
437
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,980
I can stop my deliberations.
438
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,279
You're a selfish person,
439
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,650
and it is pointless
to help you.
440
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:42,948
You are on your own.
441
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,449
- Oh, man.
[laughing]
442
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,152
How 'bout this trash storm,
Gunnar?
443
00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:48,493
- More cleaning up to do.
444
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:51,318
- It's a--
it's a dream come true.
445
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,494
- [gasps]
446
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,391
[both exhale]
447
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,556
- We're okay!
448
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,004
You can't die here.
449
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,029
- Come on, I mean,
even you have to admit,
450
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,004
those guys are psycho.
451
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:05,495
.
452
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,305
- I don't know what's
happening to me.
453
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,407
I mean, it's my duty
454
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,208
to be calm and in control
455
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,640
and I'm falling apart.
456
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:15,045
- No, Michael, you are
a paragon of fortitude.
457
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,418
You're a mountain of strength.
458
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,117
- I'm not a mountain
of strength.
459
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,490
I'm a canyon
460
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,289
full of poo-poo.
[sobbing]
461
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,362
- Jianyu, the architect
of this neighborhood
462
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,360
has just referred to himself
as a canyon
463
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,002
full of poo-poo.
464
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,227
Surely now,
you will say something?
465
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,003
Grace us with
your vocalized wisdom.
466
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,471
Please, I'm begging you.
467
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,540
[gentle piano music]
468
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:47,580
♪ ♪
469
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,950
- Oh.
470
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,720
Yes, yes, I understand.
471
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:59,093
The strength is inside me.
472
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,962
It's been there all along.
473
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,201
No, of course,
I can overcome any obstacle.
474
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:07,127
Oh, thank you, Jianyu,
thank you.
475
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,535
[laughs]
476
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,267
I'm back.
477
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,338
- You did it.
478
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:19,113
Oh, you have so much
to teach me.
479
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,212
Maybe I should try
to be silent too.
480
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,414
No really, look.
481
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,715
Here I go.
482
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,286
Oh! That was wonderful!
483
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:31,018
So cleansing.
484
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:34,034
[eerie music]
485
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,287
♪ ♪
486
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,096
[laughter]
487
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,699
- Just water tonight, huh?
488
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:41,730
Designated driver?
489
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:43,395
- Yeah, it sucks.
490
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:44,923
- I think it's awesome.
491
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,440
I mean, someone's
got to do it, right?
492
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,009
I think it's a cool thing
to do for people.
493
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,009
- Yeah.
494
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,110
No--no, I meant--
495
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,181
I meant--I--it sucks
that I can't do it
496
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,749
more often, you know?
497
00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:56,778
I actually prefer it
to drinking.
498
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,353
Staying sober and
499
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,191
knowing my friends
will get home safe,
500
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,117
that's my buzz.
501
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,286
Hey, guys,
good news and bad news.
502
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:10,364
See that hot bartender
over there?
503
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,633
He's into me,
and we're gonna bang it out.
504
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,332
The bad news is, it means
I can't drive you guys home.
505
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,365
But I did call a cab
for you guys.
506
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,241
But they recognized
my number,
507
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,410
and they didn't want to come.
508
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,668
I've thrown up
in a lot of cabs.
509
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,036
So are we good here?
510
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,746
- Eleanor, you have
a very important choice to make.
511
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,108
If you blow us off,
512
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:32,676
you are banned from
Thursday night drinks
513
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,145
forever.
514
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,819
- Yeah, I'm good with that.
515
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,224
I'll see you guys at work.
516
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,525
Peace!
517
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,827
You, let's go.
518
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,104
[sighs]
519
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,141
Hey.
520
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:57,582
How did you know I was here?
521
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,077
- I saw you from my window.
522
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,850
That's where I live,
by the way.
523
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:04,178
Not that you ever asked.
524
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,654
What are you doing?
525
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:08,592
- I went to all the places
526
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,518
where I dumped trash earlier
527
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,343
and cleaned it up
528
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,161
so it couldn't
be traced back to me.
529
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,630
- Well, it looks like you
530
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,828
cleaned up everything.
531
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:20,331
You're doing this
because you feel bad.
532
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,503
And you're not even doing it
to get me to help you anymore
533
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,142
because I told you
that's not gonna happen.
534
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,738
- Okay, yeah, fine,
I felt bad
535
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,739
for stupid Gunnar
and stupider Antonio
536
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:30,842
and the whole neighborhood.
537
00:18:30,844 --> 00:18:32,414
I felt bad about what I did.
538
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:33,852
It was a weird feeling.
539
00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:36,107
Not used to it.
Didn't love it.
540
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,716
- Well, feeling remorse
about being wrong
541
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,148
isn't as good as just
doing something right,
542
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,124
but it's a start.
543
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,593
Look, I think you're
capable of change.
544
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:49,392
And I will help you try.
545
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:50,625
- Oh, wow, man,
546
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,400
I swear I won't let you down.
547
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,628
- Hi there.
I've collected
548
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,503
the worst-smelling garbage
that I could find.
549
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:58,802
Do you still want me to dump it
inside of Antonio's house?
550
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,565
- What?
551
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,873
No.
552
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,174
I did not tell you
to do that.
553
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,136
You are loco, girlfriend.
554
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,345
Okay, I won't let you down
starting now.
555
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:11,884
.
556
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:13,715
- [chuckling]
557
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:14,920
Ah, Eleanor.
558
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,671
Good morning.
- Michael.
559
00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:18,422
Do you know what the best part
about this place is?
560
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,424
You figured out
how to make a to-go cup
561
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,886
that doesn't leak right where
the seam meets the lid.
562
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,756
- Oh, I'm so glad you noticed.
563
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:25,904
I was very proud of that.
564
00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:28,769
One of the hardest problems
I had to solve.
565
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,398
Eleanor,
566
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,473
I know what you did.
567
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,543
Cleaning up the entire
neighborhood by yourself.
568
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:36,812
[laughs]
569
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:37,909
I knew you were special,
570
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:39,541
but this is proof.
571
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,476
- Well, I was just doing
my part.
572
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:42,481
You know?
573
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,482
And, um, since I'm special,
574
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:45,584
your words,
575
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,345
I didn't get to fly.
576
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,353
- I'm sorry.
577
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,394
No, I've had to ban flying
578
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,689
for 1,000 years.
579
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,760
Too many injuries.
580
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:54,858
One resident hit
a rotting turkey carcass
581
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,861
at 1,000 miles an hour.
582
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,433
It just exploded into
this fireball
583
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,932
of turkey flesh and bones
sinew.
584
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,571
Anyway...
585
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,313
Enjoy your coffee.
586
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,368
And the cup.
587
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,751
- So I have moved out
of my apartment officially
588
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,247
and into your guestroom.
589
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,679
Figured it would cause
less suspicion
590
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:20,424
and make things easier
for our "good person" lessons.
591
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,520
- Cool.
592
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,451
Uh, just FYI, I'm a very loud
snorer.
593
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,586
And I like to drip dry
in the nude,
594
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,332
so eyes to yourself, perv.
595
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,657
- Okay, fine.
596
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,501
Now you got a long way to go
to pull this off.
597
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,697
It will take
hours and hours
598
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,900
of studying ethics
and moral philosophy.
599
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,943
We're gonna have
assignments
600
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,838
and quizzes and papers.
601
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,470
It's gonna be so much fun.
602
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,476
- Remind me what
I'm getting out of this again.
603
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,348
- You get to avoid
eternal damnation.
604
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,947
- Oh, yeah.
Right.
605
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,278
Hey, I got you a present.
606
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:52,454
- What?
607
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,992
- Senegal.
608
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:56,517
- That's not a present;
that's just common decency.
609
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,562
- Yeah, but
I forkin' nailed it.
610
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:00,789
- Good talk.
611
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:05,759
[tense music]
612
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:12,795
♪ ♪
613
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:21,905
- Ah, shirt.
39007
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