All language subtitles for Seth Meyers 2020 06 17 Hank Azaria WEB h264 ROBOTS_track3_eng

>> Announcer: TONIGHT ON "LATE
NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS" ‐‐

HANK AZARIA.
HOST OF "JUSTICE IN AMERICA,"

JOURNALIST AND LAWYER,
JOSIE DUFFY RICE

AN ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOK.

FEATURING THE 8G BAND WITH
FRED ARMISEN
AND NOW, SETH MEYERS

TONIGHT?
THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING TO STAY

HOME
IT'S CRAZY SEEING ALL THOSE

PHOTOS OF PEOPLE OUT PARTYING AT
BARS

DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH FUN
IT IS TO LOCK YOURSELF IN YOUR

ATTIC AND DRINK ALONE?
AND IF YOU'RE AT A BAR RIGHT NOW

AND I'M PLAYING ON A CORNER TV
WITHOUT VOLUME, JUST LET ME

SAY ‐‐
LET'S GET TO THE NEWS.

RUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN
REPORTEDLY HAD A DISINFECTANT

TUNNEL INSTALLED IN HIS HOME TO
PROTECT HIM FROM CORONAVIRUS

AND NOW WE GO LIVE TO PRESIDENT
TRUMP SO HE CAN MAKE FUN OF
PUTIN FOR BEING A SNOWFLAKE.

>> Seth: HUH, HE'S PROBABLY JUST
THINKING OF A CLEVER BURN, YOU

KNOW
WE'LL COME BACK TO HIM

DURING HIS SPEECH YESTERDAY
ABOUT POLICE REFORM, PRESIDENT

TRUMP FALSELY SUGGESTED THAT
SCIENTISTS HAVE DEVELOPED A

VACCINE FOR AIDS
MAN, YOU KNOW HE'S GOING TO LIE,

BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE HE'S
GOING WITH IT OR WHEN IT'S GOING

TO HAPPEN.
HE'LL BE GIVING A SPEECH ON TAX

CUTS AND THROW IN "BY THE WAY,
CELL PHONES CAN GET YOU

PREGNANT
ANYWAY, BACK TO THE THING.

THAT'S RIGHT
PRESIDENT TRUMP FALSELY

SUGGESTED THAT SCIENTISTS HAVE
DEVELOPED A VACCINE FOR AIDS

THOUGH, KEEP IN MIND, THIS IS
THE SAME GUY WHO ASKED

BILL GATES THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN HIV AND HPV TWICE.

SO HE'S DEFINITELY CONFUSING IT
WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

ACHES, MAYBE
"IT'S NOT REALLY A VACCINE, BUT

I TAKE ADVIL WHEN I HAVE MINOR
AIDS AND PAINS."

OKAY
SO, PRESIDENT TRUMP, DID YOU ‐‐

DID YOU THINK OF A CLEVER WAY TO

MAKE FUN OF PUTIN FOR HIS
DISINFECTANT TUNNEL YET?
LET'S HEAR THE ZINGER.

>> Seth: ALL RIGHT
WELL, YOU CAN DEFINITELY TELL

HE'S COOKING UP A GOOD ONE
I CAN FEEL IT.

ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT
WE'LL CHECK BACK

VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE WROTE
A "WALL STREET JOURNAL" OP‐ED

YESTERDAY TITLED "THERE ISN'T A
CORONAVIRUS 'SECOND WAVE.'

WELL, THAT'S KIND OF LIKE SAYING
THERE ISN'T A SEQUEL TO "BLACK

PANTHER.
THERE'S DEFINITELY GOING TO BE

BUT IT'S GOING TO BE EVEN
BIGGER

AND YOU'RE GOING TO HATE IT.
SENATE MAJORITY LEADER

MITCH McCONNELL SAID YESTERDAY
HE WAS PERSONALLY OKAY WITH

RENAMING MILITARY BASES THAT ARE
NAMED AFTER CONFEDERATE LEADERS

ADDING, QUOTE, "AND I AM A
DESCENDANT OF A CONFEDERATE

VETERAN.
DESCENDANT OR, LIKE, SON OF?

INFECTIOUS DISEASE EXPERT
DR. ANTHONY FAUCI SAID IN A NEW

INTERVIEW THAT HE HAD NOT SPOKEN
TO PRESIDENT TRUMP IN TWO WEEKS.

AND JUST LOOK AT THE RESULTS
"I THINK ‐‐ OBVIOUSLY, I DON'T

THINK IT WILL WORK WITH
EVERYBODY, BUT YOU CAN AVOID

HIM.
IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN.

QUAKER OATS ANNOUNCED YESTERDAY
IT WILL GIVE AUNT JEMIMA SYRUP A

NEW NAME AND IMAGE BECAUSE IT
WAS ORIGINALLY BASED ON A RACIAL

STEREOTYPE
UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S NOW CALLED

AUNT KAYLEE, WITH TWO Es
IS THAT BETTER

I THINK ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW, IT'S
HARD TO TELL

GARTH BROOKS HAS ANNOUNCED HE
WILL HOLD A CONCERT AT THE END

OF THE MONTH THAT WILL BE PLAYED
AT DRIVE‐IN MOVIE THEATERS

ACROSS THE COUNTRY
BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD

GARTH'S MUSIC UNTIL YOU'VE HEARD
IT THROUGH A 50‐YEAR‐OLD SPEAKER

FULL OF SPIDER EGGS HANGING ON
ONE SIDE OF YOUR CAR

ALL RIGHT, DONALD.
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH TIME

COME UP WITH A GREAT INSULT FOR
PUTIN IN HIS DISINFECTANT

TUNNEL
LET'S HEAR IT.
GIVE HIM THE BUSINESS.

>> I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO
GET

ALONG WITH RUSSIA.
>> Seth: HMM, YOU ARE ‐‐ YOU ARE

LOSING YOUR TOUCH, BRO, AND I'M
NOT MAD, JUST DISAPPOINTED

AND FINALLY, OFFICIALS IN
CALIFORNIA ANNOUNCED YESTERDAY

THAT A STATUE OF
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS WILL BE

REMOVED FROM THE STATE CAPITOL
ROTUNDA.

SAID THE STATUE, "CALIFORNIA
I THOUGHT THIS WAS INDONESIA."

THAT'S HOW YOU BURN SOMEONE,
TRUMPY

THE OLD COLUMBUS BURN.
DO YOU LIKE THAT ONE,

PEDRO MARTINEZ
YEAH, HE LIKED IT.

THAT WAS THE MONOLOGUE
WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

TONIGHT.
FROM "BROCKMIRE" AND OF COURSE,

"THE SIMPSONS," THE FANTASTIC
HANK AZARIA IS MY GUEST.

PLUS, THE HOST OF THE POPULAR
PODCAST "JUSTICE IN AMERICA,"

JOSIE DUFFY RICE WILL BE HERE.
BUT FIRST, "A CLOSER LOOK.

THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS
DECIDED TO JUST MOVE ON FROM THE

CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC AND PRETEND
IT'S OVER, EVEN THOUGH, IN

REALITY, IT'S STILL HERE, AND

GETTING WORSE.
FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR
"A CLOSER LOOK."

♪
>> Seth: THE NATION HAS

OBVIOUSLY BEEN FOCUSED ON THE
WEEKS OF SUSTAINED MASS

DEMONSTRATIONS AGAINST SYSTEMIC
RACISM AND POLICE BRUTALITY.

BUT, AT THE SAME TIME, THE
PANDEMIC IS STILL HERE, IT

HASN'T GONE ANYWHERE
THE CORONAVIRUS IS LIKE MY COPY

OF "THE THORN BIRDS.
IT HASN'T BEEN ON MY SIDE TABLE

FOR A FEW WEEKS, BUT THAT
DOESN'T MEAN IT WAS GONE

FOREVER.
IT WAS JUST OFF CAMERA

AND NOW IT'S BACK.
BUT I CAN PROMISE YOU WHAT'S NOT

BACK IS LABORED BITS WHERE I ADD
BOOKS OR CHANGE THE TITLES

AND, LOOK, THERE WAS NEVER A
GOOD TIME TO HAVE THE WORLD'S

DUMBEST MAN AS PRESIDENT, BUT
THE TIMING COULD NOT BE WORSE

RIGHT NOW AS THE COUNTRY FACES
SOME OF ITS WEIGHTIEST AND MOST

DIFFICULT CHALLENGES IN OUR
LIFETIMES.

THERE ARE MASS DEMONSTRATIONS
AGAINST SYSTEMIC RACISM AND

POLICE BRUTALITY, UNEMPLOYMENT
IS AT ITS HIGHEST SINCE THE

GREAT DEPRESSION, NORTH KOREA
JUST BLEW SOMETHING UP

TENSIONS ARE ESCALATING BETWEEN
INDIA AND CHINA.

THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC IS
STILL RAGING

AND THE "NEW YORK TIMES" REPORTS
THAT TOILETS CAN SPRAY PLUMES OF

CORONAVIRUS INTO THE AIR AND
INFECT THE NEXT PERSON WHO USES

THEM
NOW, WE CAN'T EVEN ENJOY TOILET

PLUMES
THE ONLY THING I HAD LEFT TO

LOOK FORWARD TO THIS SUMMER WAS
LOADING THE KIDS INTO THE VAN

AND TAKING THEM ON A
CROSS‐COUNTRY TRIP TO SEE

AMERICA'S MOST PICTURESQUE
TOILET PLUMES.

2020 SUCKS
AND MAY I SAY, THIS IS THE FIRST

DENT IN THE OTHERWISE STERLING
REPUTATION OF PORT‐A‐POTTYS.

ALSO, THAT'S GOTTA BE THE MOST
EMBARRASSING WAY TO CATCH

CORONAVIRUS.
"WERE YOU NEAR ANY LARGE

CROWDS?"
"NO, BUT I MAYBE HUFFED A

PLUME.
SO, THINGS ARE BAD

IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS, THE
VERY MINIMUM WE SHOULD EXPECT

FROM OUR LEADERS IS AN ABILITY
TO PROVIDE US WITH A SHARED

SENSE OF REALITY TO GIVE US ALL
THE FACTS.

BUT THE PRESIDENT, HE DOESN'T
WANT TO DO THAT.

IN FACT, HE'S REPEATEDLY
EXPRESSED AN INTEREST THIS WEEK

IN HIDING THE TRUTH ABOUT THE

CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC, SUGGESTING
THAT IF WE JUST STOPPED TESTING,
IT WOULD "GO AWAY.

ATTRIBUTED AN INCREASE IN CASES
IN SOME STATES TO ADVANCED

TESTING.
IN A TWEET HE SAID, QUOTE,

WITHOUT TESTING OR WEAK TESTING,
WE WOULD BE SHOWING ALMOST NO

CASES.
TESTING IS A DOUBLE‐EDGED SWORD

MAKING US LOOK BAD, BUT GOOD TO
HAVE

>> OUR TESTING IS SO FAR
ADVANCED, IT'S SO MUCH BIGGER

AND BETTER THAN ANY OTHER
COUNTRY THAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE

MORE CASES
WE'RE ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE MORE

CASES.
AS I SAID THIS MORNING, THAT'S

PROBABLY THE DOWNSIDE OF HAVING
GOOD TESTING IS YOU FIND A LOT

OF CASES THAT OTHER COUNTRIES
WHO DON'T EVEN TEST DON'T HAVE

IF YOU DON'T TEST, YOU DON'T
HAVE ANY CASES

IF WE STOPPED TESTING RIGHT NOW,
WE'D HAVE VERY FEW CASES, IF

ANY.
>> Seth: I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE

TO EXPLAIN THIS.
IF WE STOP TESTING, THAT

WOULDN'T MEAN THE CASES WENT
AWAY

THAT WOULD JUST MEAN WE DON'T
KNOW ABOUT THEM.

WHEN YOU PLAY PEEK‐A‐BOO WITH A
BABY, THE BABY CAN'T SEE YOU,

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU
ACTUALLY DISAPPEARED

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN PEOPLE WERE
MAKING THOSE VIRAL VIDEOS WHEN

THEY STAND BEHIND A COVER IN
FRONT OF THEIR DOG, THEN DROP

THE BLANKET AND RUN AND AWAY,
AND THE DOG THINKS THEY

DISAPPEARED?
THAT'S TRUMP

"WHAT THE HELL
HE WAS JUST STANDING BEHIND THE

BLANKET.
DAMN YOU TO HELL, GHOST

BLANKET!
"YOU CALLED FOR ME, SIR?

"NOT YOU, GHOST BLANKET, THE
OTHER GHOST BLANKET.

NOW, THIS IS A SENTIMENT TRUMP
HAS REPEATED SEVERAL TIMES, IF

ONLY WE COULD STOP TESTING, WE'D
LOOK SO MUCH BETTER, WHICH IS

JUST INSANE.
IT'S LIKE IF YOU WENT TO YOUR

OPTOMETRIST AND THEY SAID "I
COULD GIVE YOU AN EYE EXAM, BUT

THEN YOU'D NEED GLASSES TO
DRIVE.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU DON'T NEED
GLASSES.

IT JUST MEANS YOU'LL PROBABLY
GET IN MORE CAR ACCIDENTS THAN

BILLY JOEL
AND THAT'S ANOTHER BILLY JOEL

CAR CRASH JOKE
[ CAR CRASHING ]

AND, YES, THAT IS A REFERENCE
THAT IS 16 YEARS OLD, WHICH

MEANS IF THAT REFERENCE WERE A
PERSON, THEY WOULD HAVE NO IDEA

WHO BILLY JOEL IS.
AND IF YOU'RE A PERSON WHO IS

SURPRISED THAT I'M SILL MAKING
BILLY JOEL CAR CRASH JOKES

IN 2020, ALL I CAN SAY IS ‐‐
♪ YOU OUTTA KNOW BY NOW

WE ARE HAVING FU
IN OUR ATTIC ♪

NOW TRUMP IS, IN HIS OWN UNIQUE
WAY, BREATHTAKINGLY DUMB

BUT THE REST OF HIS
ADMINISTRATION IS JUST AS

COMMITTED TO THIS CORONAVIRUS
COVER‐UP AS HE IS, EVEN IF THEY

MANAGE TO BE A LITTLE MORE
SUBTLE ABOUT IT.

VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE, FOR
EXAMPLE, URGED GOVERNORS ON A

CALL THIS WEEK TO LIE ABOUT THE
INCREASING NUMBER OF CORONAVIRUS
CASES.

>> ACCORDING TO THE "NEW YORK
TIMES" AT A CONFERENCE CALL, THE

V.P. URGED GOVERNORS TO, QUOTE,
CONTINUE TO EXPLAIN TO YOUR

CITIZENS THE MAGNITUDE OF
INCREASE IN TESTING AND THAT IN

MOST OF THE CASES WHERE WE ARE
SEEING SOME MARGINAL RISE IN

NUMBER, THAT'S MORE A RESULT OF
THE EXTRAORDINARY WORK YOU'RE

DOING.
>> Seth: THE IDEA THAT CASES ARE

GOING UP BECAUSE TESTING HAS
INCREASED IS A LIE

AND, SURE, MIKE PENCE MIGHT LOOK
MORE CONVINCING THAN TRUMP WHEN

HE LIES.
HE SHAKES HIS HEAD AND FURROWS

HIS BROW LIKE A COMMUNITY
THEATER ACTOR LOOKING EVEN MORE

THE PART OF A STATESMAN, THANKS
TO SHARING A TWO‐SHOT WITH A MAN

WHO LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRYING TO
GET YOU TO PLAY THE RING TOSS

DOWN ON THE CONEY ISLAND
BOARDWALK.

BUT IT'S STILL A LIE
THE INCREASE IN TESTING IS NOT

THE REASON FOR THE INCREASE IN
POSITIVES.

IN FACT, "IN AT LEAST 14 STATES,
POSITIVE CASES HAVE OUTSTRIPPED

THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF TESTS THAT
HAVE BEEN ADMINISTERED."

JUST LOOK AT THIS MAP FROM THE
WEBSITE COVIDEXITSTRATEGY.ORG

WITH STATES THAT ARE TRENDING
POORLY IN RED.

JUST BECAUSE TRUMP HAS GOTTEN
BORED WITH SOMETHING DOESN'T

MEAN IT'S GONE AWAY.
YOU THINK HE WOULD HAVE AT LEAST

LEARNED THAT LESSON FROM THESE
TWO.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO LOSERS DOING
HERE

I THOUGHT YOU DISAPPEARED.
"NO, DAD, WE WENT TO SUMMER

CAMP."
"I THOUGHT IT WAS PERMANENT

SUMMER CAMP.
THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS

EVEN BEEN CONTRADICTED BY THEIR
OWN SCIENTISTS

ON TUESDAY DR. ANTHONY FAUCI
SAID THE INCREASE IN CASES

"CANNOT BE EXPLAINED BY
INCREASED TESTING.

WHICH IS JUST OBVIOUSLY TRUE
WHAT DO YOU THINK IS MORE LIKELY

TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR AN
INCREASE OF CASES OF AN

INFECTIOUS DISEASE
INCREASED TESTING, OR RE‐OPENING

GYMS, MALLS, BARBERSHOPS,
BOWLING ALLEYS, MASSAGE PARLORS,

AND EVERYONE'S FAVORITE LOCAL
TAVERN "O'COUGHAGINS"?

AND, YET, THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION IS COMMITTED TO

THE LIE THAT THE CORONAVIRUS HAS
JUST DISAPPEARED, WHEN IN

REALITY IT NEVER WENT AWAY, AND
IT IS, IN FACT, GETTING WORSE.

YESTERDAY, PENCE PUBLISHED AN
OP‐ED IN THE "WALL STREET

JOURNAL" TITLED "THERE ISN'T A
CORONAVIRUS 'SECOND WAVE.'

YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE WE'RE NOT
DONE WITH THE FIRST WAVE

THAT'S LIKE SERVING SOMEONE AN
UNDERCOOKED HAMBURGER, AND WHILE

THEY'RE STILL EATING IT, SAYING,
"SEE, THERE'S NO DIARRHEA!

THERE WILL BE, THERE JUST ISN'T
ANY YET.

IN FACT, WE HAVE FAILED
MISERABLY COMPARED TO MOST OTHER

DEVELOPED NATIONS.
LOOK AT THIS CHART COMPARING OUR

CURVE OF CONFIRMED CASES TO THE
EUROPEAN UNION

OR LOOK AT THESE CURVES FROM THE
"NEW YORK TIMES" FOR THREE

EUROPEAN COUNTRIES THAT SAW
MAJOR OUTBREAKS, AND HAVE SINCE

SUPPRESSED THOSE OUTBREAKS AND
BENT THEIR CURVES ALL THE WAY

BACK DOWN.
NOW, ADD IN THE UNITED STATES.

THE U. S. IS A PLATEAU, AND
ITALY, SPAIN, AND GERMANY ALL

HAVE DOWNWARD SLOPES PROVING
SOMETHING I'VE LONG SAID, "THE

SKIING IS BETTER IN EUROPE
IT JUST IS!"

WE SHOULD LEARN FROM THEM.
INSTEAD, OUR LEADERS CONTINUE TO

POLITICIZE EVEN BASIC MEASURES
THAT WE KNOW COULD STEM THE

SPREAD OF THE VIRUS LIKE
MASK‐WEARING

TRUMP AND PENCE HAVE TURNED
MASK‐WEARING INTO A DUMB,

CONSERVATIVE CULTURE WAR ISSUE
BY REPEATEDLY REFUSING TO WEAR

ONE IN PUBLIC.
AND PENCE DID IT AGAIN DURING A

TRIP TO A RESTAURANT IN IOWA ON
TUESDAY.

DUDE, JUST BE POLITE AND WEAR
THE MASK

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A
DICK ABOUT EVERYTHING?

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO
LOOK STUPID WITH A MASK?

THE WORLD CAN STILL GO ON, EVEN
IF WE CAN'T SEE YOUR DUMB LITTLE

HYPHEN MOUTH
IF YOU PUT A BLANK PIECE OF

PAPER OVER YOUR FACE, NO ONE
WOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

YOU ALREADY HAVE RESTING MASK
FACE

IN FACT, TRUMP SEEMS INTENT ON
MAKING THE SITUATION WORSE BY

HOLDING A GIANT INDOOR RALLY ON
SATURDAY IN TULSA, A HOT SPOT

WHERE CASES ARE SPIKING AND
WHERE THE DIRECTOR OF THE TULSA

HEALTH DEPARTMENT HAS SAID HE
WISHES TRUMP WOULD POSTPONE THE

RALLY.
TRUMP NONETHELESS DOUBLED DOWN
ON TWITTER

NOTION ON TWITTER, AND HE
REJECTS IT, SAYING, "THE FAR

LEFT FAKE NEWS MEDIA, WHICH HAD
NO COVID PROBLEMS WITH THE

RIOTERS AND LOOTERS DESTROYING
DEMOCRAT‐RUN CITIES, IS TRYING

TO COVID‐SHAME US ON OUR BIG
RALLIES.

WON'T WORK."
>> Seth: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL

US YOU'RE IMMUNE TO SHAME.
WE'RE FAMILIAR WITH YOUR WORK.

IT IS CLEAR TO ALL OF US THAT
YOU HAVE TESTED POSITIVE FOR

SHAME ANTIBODIES
ALSO, DON'T COMPARE A GIANT

INDOOR RALLY TO A PROTEST.
THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN AN OUTDOOR GATHERING
WHERE EVERYONE'S WEARING A MASK

AND AN INDOOR CAMPAIGN
RALLY/MOSH‐PIT IN AN ARENA WITH

LIMITED VENTILATION WHERE
EVERYONE'S CHEEK TO CHEEK

CHANTING, "BUILD THAT WALL."
ALSO, NO ONE IS LESS OF AN

ESSENTIAL WORKER THAN A TRUMP
RALLY ATTENDEE

YOU'VE BEEN CHANTING "BUILD THAT
WALL" FOR FIVE YEARS

NADA
SO, TRUMP IS BOTH MALEVOLENT AND

DUMB
HOLLYWOOD HAS DONE US A REAL

DISSERVICE TRYING TO CONVINCE US
THAT EVIL PEOPLE ARE ALL

GENIUSES
THEY'RE ALWAYS SUAVE AND

WELL‐SPOKEN, AND A LOT OF THEM
HAVE PhDs.

DR. NO, DR. DOOM, DR. OCTOPUS.
ALL TRUMP HAS IS A MASTERS

DEGREE IN COPYING OFF THE KID IN
FRONT OF HIM

NOT ONLY DOES HE NOT KNOW HOW
CORONAVIRUS TESTING WORKS, HE

DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW HIS OWN
INDUSTRY, REAL ESTATE, WORKS

HERE HE IS AT A ROUNDTABLE EVENT

LAST WEEK DESCRIBING HOW, I
GUESS, SOME BUILDINGS ARE NICER
AND ALSO CHEAPER THAN OTHERS

>> SOMETIMES YOU'LL SEE A
BUILDING THAT COSTS LESS MONEY

THAN ANOTHER BUILDING THAT COSTS
MORE BECAUSE THE ONE THAT BUILT

THE ONE THAT COSTS MORE, THIS
ONE LOOKS BETTER

THE ONE THAT'S CHEAPER, IT LOOKS
BETTER

THEY SAY HOW MUCH MORE DID YOU
SPEND FOR THAT BUILDING?

ACTUALLY WE SPENT LESS
YOU CAN DO THAT.

IT'S CALLED, YOU HAVE TO KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

>> Seth: HE SOUNDS LIKE A NEW
YORK CITY TOUR GUIDE WHO FORGOT

HIS NOTE CARDS
"UH, INTERESTING FACT.

SOMETIMES YOU'LL SEE A BUILDING
THAT, YOU KNOW, COSTS LESS MONEY

THAN ANOTHER BUILDING BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT BUILT THE

ONE THAT COSTS MORE, THIS ONE'S
CHEAPER.

AND, UH, M&M STORE!"
HE'S LIKE A DUMBER VERSION THAN

THE KID FROM "JERRY MAGUIRE.
"DID YOU KNOW THAT SOMETIMES

BUILDINGS THAT COST LESS LOOK
NICER?!"

OF COURSE, THE CORE OF WHAT HE
WAS SAYING WAS, "IF YOU MAKE A

CHEAP THING LOOK NICE, PEOPLE
WILL PAY MORE, AND BY THE TIME

THEY REALIZE IT'S CHEAP, YOU
HAVE THEIR MONEY, AND IT'S TOO

LATE TO DO ANYTHING.
TRUMP STYLE!

THE ONLY ‐‐ THE ONLY SMART MOVE
TRUMP EVER MADE AS A BUILDER WAS

GIVING TRUMP TOWER AN ESCALATOR
INSTEAD OF A RAMP.

THE COURSE OF HISTORY WOULD'VE
BEEN VERY DIFFERENT IF THAT HAD

BEEN A RAMP.
"WE ARE WAITING ON DONALD TRUMP,

WHO IS EXPECTED TO ANNOUNCE HIS
BID FOR THE PRESIDENCY, AND HERE

HE IS NOW AT THE TOP OF THE
FAMOUS TRUMP TOWER RAMP.

HEADING DOWN FAIRLY GINGERLY
AND, OH, IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S

PICKING UP SOME SPEED.
AND BASED ON HIS EXPRESSION,

THAT WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
OH, YOU CAN REALLY SEE THE

WHITENESS OF HIS KNUCKLES AS
THEY GRASP HELPLESSLY AT THE

RAILING.
OH, HE'S DOWN!

HE'S DOWN, AND HE HAS TAKEN
MELANIA WITH HIM, AND I DO NOT

SPEAK SLOVENIAN, BUT THOSE
HAVE ‐‐ THOSE JUST HAVE TO BE

CURSE WORDS.
IF YOU ARE JUST NOW JOINING US,

DONALD TRUMP, EXPECTED TO
ANNOUNCE A PRESIDENTIAL RUN, HAS

EATEN IT HARD ON THE RAMP.
TRUMP'S BRAIN IS ONLY CAPABLE OF

THINKING IN TRANSACTIONS
HIS ONLY INTEREST, IN ANY

SITUATION, IS WHAT'S IN IT FOR
HIM.

THAT'S WHY HE WISHES HE COULD
JUST STOP TESTING FOR

CORONAVIRUS.
WE'VE SEEN IT TIME AND TIME

AGAIN.
FOR EXAMPLE, TRUMP'S EX‐NATIONAL

SECURITY ADVISER, JOHN BOLTON,
WHO COURAGEOUSLY HID BEHIND HIS

MUSTACHE, RATHER THAN TESTIFY IN
TRUMP'S IMPEACHMENT TRIAL, HAS

ALLEGED IN A NEW TELL‐ALL BOOK
THAT NOT ONLY DID TRUMP SEEK TO

LEVERAGE AID TO UKRAINE TO HELP

HIS RE‐ELECTION BID, BUT THAT
TRUMP DID SIMILAR STUFF ALL THE
TIME

>> ANOTHER FORMER AIDE IS TAKING
AIM AT PRESIDENT TRUMP

JOHN BOLTON WHO SERVED AS
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISER SAYS

IN A NEW BOOK THE PRESIDENT WAS
CONCERNED ONLY WITH GETTING

RE‐ELECTED AND THAT MISCONDUCT
IN HIS FOREIGN POLICY WENT

BEYOND UKRAINE
>> THE BOOK WHICH IS TITLED "THE

ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED: A WHITE
HOUSE MEMOIR," WAS SLATED TO

COME OUT NEXT WEEK
THE PUBLISHER SAYS THE BOOK IS,

QUOTE, A PRECISE RENDERING OF
HIS DAYS IN AND AROUND THE OVAL

OFFICE
WHAT BOLTON SAW ASTONISHED HIM

A PRESIDENT FOR WHOM GETTING
RE‐ELECTED WAS THE ONLY THING

THAT MATTERED, EVEN IF IT MEANT
ENDANGERING OR WEAKENING THE

NATION
>> Seth: WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF

BEING SO SHOCKED YOU SPIT OUT
WATER?

"DONALD TRUMP IS ONLY DRIVEN BY
SELF‐INTEREST?

AND THANKS FOR TELLING US NOW.
I MEAN, THAT'S INFORMATION THAT

WOULD HAVE BEEN WAY MORE HELPFUL
TO US SIX MONTHS AGO DURING THE

IMPEACHMENT TRIAL.
YOU'RE LIKE A GUY WHO SEES HIS

NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE ON FIRE
AND INSTEAD OF CALLING 9‐1‐1,

WRITES A BOOK CALLED, "HEY, THAT
HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"

"BOB, I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT YOUR
HOUSE BEING ON FIRE.

I WOULD LOVE TO SEND IT TO YOU,
BUT, YOU KNOW, THE HOUSE BURNED

DOWN
SO WHERE ARE YOU GUYS NOW, A

HOTEL?
THERE'S NO ONE, NO ONE TO ROOT

FOR IN A TRUMP VERSUS BOLTON
FIGHT.

THEY'RE BOTH MEGALOMANIAC
SOCIOPATHS LOOKING OUT FOR

THEMSELVES
IT'S A REAL "ALIEN VERSUS

PREDATOR" SITUATION.
EXCEPT ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO

STOP ALIEN TRUMP IS INSTALL A
RAMP

"HE'S GETTING CLOSER
HE'S GETTING CLOSER!

OH, HE'S SLOWING DOWN.
OH, HE'S SLOWING DOWN.

OKAY, HE'S SLOWING WAY DOWN.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK WE'RE

GOOD
I THINK WE'RE GOOD TO MOVE

AROUND OUR SPACESHIP AS WE DID
BEFORE THIS ALIEN INFESTATION.

THE PRESIDENT AND HIS TEAM ARE
LYING ABOUT THE ONGOING

CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC IN AN
ATTEMPT TO COVER IT UP AND

PRETEND IT'S OVER, WHEN, IN
REALITY, IT'S GETTING WORSE.

THE PANDEMIC HAS LAID BARE THE
WEAKNESSES OF OUR INSTITUTIONS

AND PROVEN ONCE AGAIN THAT IN
ORDER TO BE PRESIDENT, AT THE

VERY LEAST ‐
>> YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

DOING.
>> Seth: THIS HAS BEEN "A CLOSER

LOOK."
♪

AS NEW YORK STRUGGLES TO REOPEN,
REMEMBER THAT WE'RE STILL A CITY

IN CRISIS, AND CITY HARVEST HAS
BEEN STEPPING UP TO MEET THE

INCREASED NEED
THERE'S A WEBSITE BELOW TO

DONATE
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH

HANK AZARIA.
♪

>> Seth: OUR FIRST GUEST TONIGHT
IS AN EMMY AWARD‐WINNING ACTOR

YOU KNOW FROM HIS WORK IN "THE
BIRDCAGE," "RAY DONOVAN," AND

"THE SIMPSONS.
ALL FOUR SEASONS OF HIS SHOW,

"BROCKMIRE," ARE STREAMING ON

HULU NOW
HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH
HANK AZARIA.

>> Seth: WELCOME BACK, HANK.
HOW ARE YOU?

>> I'M HANGING IN THERE, SETH.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?

>> Seth: I'M DOING ALL RIGHT
I WANT TO START BY TALKING ABOUT

THE METS
USUALLY WE WOULD BE IN A

COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PART OF THE
SEASON

YOU'RE BOTH A METS' FAN AND A
KNICKS' FAN.

AND WITH THOSE TEAMS, HAS THE
PAUSE ON LIVE SPORTS BEEN GOOD

FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, OR DO
YOU STILL DESPERATELY MISS IT?

>> BOTH.
I MEAN, I SAW SOMEBODY POSTED

ONLINE YESTERDAY, LIKE, WOW, I
WATCHED A MOVIE TONIGHT THAT I

ENJOYED, WHERE NORMALLY I WOULD
JUST HAVE FREAKED OUT AND GOT

WILDLY FRUSTRATED WITH THE METS.
I MEAN, WHAT HAVE I BEEN

THINKING ALL THESE YEARS
[ LAUGHTER ]

PEACE IN MY LIFE
YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, ON THE ONE

HAND, IT'S A RELIEF NOT TO WATCH
THE KNICKS AND METS FAIL

MISERABLY.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I'D SORT OF

GIVE ANYTHING TO WATCH THEM FAIL
MISERABLY.

>> Seth: YEAH.
MY FATHER‐IN‐LAW LOVES MUSIC THE

WAY I LOVE SPORTS.
AND I REALIZED THAT WHEN HE GOES

TO A CONCERT, THERE'S NEVER A
CHANCE THAT HE'S GOING TO LEAVE

UPSET.
LIKE THE BAND IS GOING TO PLAY

THE HITS
WHERE AS, JUST YOU'RE FLIPPING A

COIN WHEN YOU GO TO SEE A SPORTS
GAME

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
"BROCKMIRE."

AND I WANT TO GET TO LIKE HOW
THE CHARACTER HAS EVOLVED.

BUT THIS STARTED AS SORT OF A
CLASSIC SKETCH CHARACTER THAT

HAS NOW, WHICH IS INCREDIBLE,
ENDURED FOUR SEASONS ON

TELEVISION
BUT HOW DID YOU FIRST COME UP

WITH THE CHARACTER
>> THIS IS THE VOICE OF

JIM BROCKMIRE.
I CALL IT THE GENERIC

'70s BASEBALL ANNOUNCER VOICE.
AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS 15 YEARS

OLD.
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THE STORY

AS JIM BROCKMIRE SAID.
I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, AND THE YEAR

WAS 1979
AND RIGHT ABOUT THEN, IT STARTED

OCCURRING TO ME THAT WHY DO ALL
THESE GUYS TALK THIS WAY

DO THEY ALWAYS SOUND ‐‐ DO THEY
SOUND LIKE THIS IN THEIR

PERSONAL LIVES
LIKE WHEN THEY'RE DIRTY TALKING

THEIR GOOD‐LADY WIVES DURING
SEX, DOES IT STILL COME OUT THIS

WAY?
DO THEY SOUND THIS WAY WHEN

THEY'RE WASTED
ALSO, HARRY SHEARER AND I AT

"THE SIMPSONS" NOTICE ‐‐ WE TALK
A LOT.

HE DOES AN AMAZING VIN SCULLY,
HARRY SHEARER.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE IMPRESSIONS
THAT, LIKE, YOU CAN'T TELL THE

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUAL
VIN SCULLY AND HARRY SHEARER

>> Seth: SURE.
>> AND WE NOTED THAT BASEBALL

ANNOUNCERS CAN SAY PRETTY MUCH
WHATEVER THEY LIKE AS LONG AS

THEY GIVE THE COUNT AFTERWARDS,
YOU KNOW, SO

"HEY, I SPENT MOST OF LAST
EVENING WITH AN 8 BALL OF

COCAINE AND A PROSTITUTE
AS JOHNSON SWINGS AND MISSES AT

THE BREAKING BALL, 0‐1."
SO, THAT BECAME, LIKE, THE COMIC

PREMISE ‐‐ IS JUST, WHAT WEIRD
STUFF CAN YOU SAY AND GIVE THE

COUNT, AND THEN, DO THESE GUYS
ALWAYS TALK LIKE THIS?

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY, YOU
KNOW, GIVEN YOUR "SNL" ROOTS

BY THE TIME I WAS ABOUT ‐‐ ABOUT
15 YEARS AGO MAYBE, LIKE, SO I

MUST'VE BEEN IN MY EARLY 40s
I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON "SNL.

I ALWAYS FELT LIKE MY SKILLSET
WOULD'VE BEEN GOOD

>> Seth: VERY MUCH SO.
IT WOULD'VE BEEN VERY GOOD

>> NEVER DID I HAVE THE
OPPORTUNITY.

AND I DON'T WRITE FOR MYSELF
VERY WELL.

SO, IT JUST WASN'T A NATURAL FOR
ME

AND SO, I WALKED INTO MY AGENT'S
OFFICE, I'M LIKE, "I'M NOT ON

'SNL.'
WHERE CAN I HAVE THESE BUNCH OF

CHARACTERS
WHERE CAN I DO THEM?

AND THEY WERE, LIKE, "WELL, YOU
KNOW, WILL FERRELL CREATED

"FUNNY OR DIE" FOR ALMOST
EXACTLY THIS PURPOSE."

>> Seth: AND IT REALLY DOES
SPEAK TO HOW FUNNY THE SKETCH

WAS IN THE BEGINNING
AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, IF YOU

WATCH THE PILOT EPISODE, IT
FEELS LIKE SORT OF A SEX ROMP

AND THIS FUNNY IDEA OF A GUY
COMING UNDONE.

AND, YET, IT'S ‐‐ YOU KNOW, YOU
GUYS HAVE ATTACKED ADDICTION

YOU'VE ATTACKED RELATIONSHIPS.
AND I MEAN IT'S MIND BLOWING TO

ME THAT YOU DID THIS FOURTH
SEASON ‐

OBVIOUSLY YOU FILMED IT BEFORE
ANY OF 2020 STARTED GETTING

CRAZY.
BUT YOU JUMPED BASICALLY 10, 15

YEARS INTO THE FUTURE.
BASEBALL IS HANGING ON FOR DEAR

LIFE
THE WORLD IS COMING UNDONE

I MEAN, DO YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT
HOW FAR AHEAD OF THE CURVE YOU

WERE AND HOW UNFORTUNATE THAT
YOU WERE SO RIGHT?

>> I THINK IT WAS WILDLY
PRECOGNITIVE, SEASON FOUR.

YEAH, I MEAN, THE FIRST FIVE
MINUTES OF SEASON FOUR, YOU GET

THIS, LIKE, FAUX "TODAY" SHOW
OPENING WHERE THERE'S A

PANDEMIC
THERE'S RIOTING IN THE STREETS

WHAT WASN'T SO HARD TO PREDICT
TEN YEARS FROM NOW IS THAT THE

AVERAGE TEMPERATURE MIGHT BE
170 DEGREES.

BUT THE FACT THAT BASEBALL'S
VERY NEAR DEATH.

WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT THAT
THERE'D BE MORE BASEBALL IN A

FICTITIOUS TEN YEARS FROM NOW
THAN THERE IS IN THE REALITY

OF 2020?
THAT'S JOEL CHURCH‐COOPER.

YOU KNOW, MY TAKE ON THE
CHARACTER WAS THAT ROMP, THAT

RAUNCHY ROMP, THAT THE SHORT
WAS ‐‐ IT WAS PRETTY SOPHOMORIC,

YOU KNOW
I MADE THE CHARACTER AN

ALCOHOLIC JUST TO JUSTIFY SAYING
OUTLANDISH [ BLEEP ], PARDON ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]
OUTLANDISH CRAP ON THE AIR

BUT HE SAW THE DEPTH OF A MAN
STRUGGLING WITH HIS ALCOHOLISM

AND ALL THAT THAT IMPLIES AND
TRYING TO FIND ‐‐ LIKE BASEBALL,

TRYING TO FIND RELEVANCE IN
MODERN TIMES

I'M, LIKE, "WHAT DID YOU WRITE
HERE, MAN?

IT'S BRILLIANT."
YEAH, I GOT LUCKY.

>> Seth: WELL, I WONDER, LIKE,
WHAT HAS IT BEEN LIKE FOR YOU AS

AN ACTOR THAT YOU CREATE A
CHARACTER THAT, YOU KNOW, NOT TO

DEVALUE IT AT ALL, SEEMS LIKE A
SKETCH CHARACTER

AND THEN, YOU FIND THIS WRITER
THAT'S GIVING HIM ALL THIS

DEPTH.
AND YOU'RE INTO IT AS THIS

REALLY FUN, LIKE, VOCAL
IMPRESSION

HAS THAT MADE IT EASIER FOR YOU
TO ‐‐ BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GREAT AT

PLAYING THE REALITY OF THIS
PERSON

STARTING WITH THE SILLY VOICE,
HAS IT MADE PLAYING THE DARK

PARTS EASIER, OR HAS IT BEEN
HARDER

>> KIND OF BOTH.
I MEAN, A LOT OF MY GIG OR MY

NICHE OR MY SHTICK, IF YOU WILL,
IS CREATING A SILLY VOICE AND

THEN SEEING IF I CAN FILL IT IN
AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, IT'S ALMOST

LIKE A GAME.
LIKE, CAN I MAKE THIS A REAL

HUMAN BEING?
AND IT BECAME A FUN CHALLENGE.

LIKE, AMANDA PEET, WHO PLAYS
BROCKMIRE'S LOVE, SHE'S GREAT,

AND SHE'S VERY REAL AND RAW, YOU
KNOW

AND IT'S A GREAT CHARACTER SHE'S
PLAYING.

SO WE'LL HAVE THESE INTENSE
CONVERSATIONS IN THE SHOW WHERE

SHE'S CRYING AND SCREAMING AND
UPSET.

AND I'VE GOT TO ANSWER HER IN
TIME, BUT I'VE GOT TO SAY IT

LIKE THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]

I'VE GOT TO TALK TO HER LIKE
IT'S BASEBALL.

AND I KNOW IN MY MIND, LIKE,
"OH, AMANDA'S REALLY UPSET, I'VE

GOT TO TAKE CARE OF HER, BUT
IT'S GOT TO COME OUT OF THIS

FILTER
AND CAN I MAKE THAT SOUND

SINCERE?
AND, YOU KNOW, THAT'S BEEN THE

FUN OF THE CHARACTER
>> WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I DO?

I TIP MY CAP TO BOTH OF YOU
BECAUSE YOU STAY IN THE

CHARACTER, AND SHE HAS DONE SUCH
A FANTASTIC JOB OF ‐‐ SHE NOW

ACCEPTS ‐‐ YOU KNOW, HER
CHARACTER ACCEPTS YOUR CHARACTER

AS REAL AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT
SUCH A FUN SHOW TO WATCH AS

OPPOSED TO SOMETHING THAT I
THINK COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH

BROADER AND LESS EFFECTIVE
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

HANK RIGHT AFTER THIS.

♪
>> Seth: HERE'S MORE OF MY
CONVERSATION WITH HANK AZARIA.

CRAZY.
BUT YOU HAVE BEEN NOW DOING

32 YEARS OF "THE SIMPSONS.
YOU WERE A YOUNG MAN WHEN "THE

SIMPSONS" BEGAN.
WHAT WAS IT ‐‐ DO YOU HAVE ANY

SENSE OF WHAT IT WOULD BE ‐‐ I
MEAN, CERTAINLY, NO ONE WOULD

HAVE A SENSE OF HOW LONG IT
WOULD'VE GONE ON

BUT WHAT WAS IT LIKE IN THE
BEGINNING WHEN YOU WENT IN TO

RECORD VOICES?
>> YOU'RE TALKING 33, 34 YEARS

AGO.
I WAS 22 OR 23 YEARS OLD

IT WAS AN AUDITION LIKE ANY
OTHER.

I KIND OF STROLLED IN.
MATT GROENING AND THE LATE GREAT

SAM SIMON WERE SITTING THERE
JIM BROOKS WASN'T THERE, BUT THE

OTHER TWO CO‐CREATORS.
AND I DIDN'T KNOW ‐‐ NO ONE KNEW

WHAT THE SHOW WAS.
IT WAS A YEAR OR TWO BEFORE IT

GOT RELEASED
AND THE FIRST VOICE I AUDITIONED

WAS MOE.
AND I WAS DOING A SORT OF A

PACINO IMPRESSION.
A YOUNG KIND OF "DOG DAY

AFTERNOON" AL PACINO IMPRESSION.
I THOUGHT MIGHT BE GOOD FOR IT

AND THEY WERE, LIKE, "CAN YOU
MAKE THAT GRAVELLY?"

AND SO I KIND OF MADE IT
GRAVELLY

AND THAT SOUNDED LIKE MOE.
AND THEY SAID, "COOL, WILL YOU

COME RECORD?
I'M, LIKE, "NOW, LIKE RIGHT

NOW?
AND THEY WERE, LIKE, "YEAH."

AND I WALKED OVER WITH THEM ON
THE FOX LOT.

LIKE, I'M 22
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN

GENERAL ANYWHERE, LET ALONE IN
THIS CIRCUMSTANCE.

I RECORDED ‐
>> Seth: THAT'S CRAZY.

>> YEAH.
AND THEN, EVERY WEEK, THEY HAD

ME BACK, AND THEN, THE SHOW
DIDN'T AIR FOR LIKE ANOTHER YEAR

OR TWO AFTER THAT.
>> Seth: THIS MIGHT BE AN

IGNORANT QUESTION, BUT DO YOU
ALWAYS SEE THE ART OF THE

CHARACTER BEFORE YOU COME UP
WITH A VOICE

>> NEVER
>> Seth: WOW

>> SOMETIMES IN CERTAIN
ANIMATION PROJECTS, THEY WILL

KIND OF SHOW YOU WHAT THEY'RE
THINKING

BUT IN THIS CASE, NO
YOU JUST ‐‐ I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT

ANYTHING LOOKED LIKE
I JUST DID VOICES.

AND THEY WERE VERY METICULOUS,
WHICH I REALIZED, I DIDN'T KNOW

THEN BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING TO
COMPARE IT TO, BUT THEY WERE

VERY PAINSTAKING ABOUT TAKES AND
TRYING IT THIS WAY AND TRYING IT

THAT WAY
SO IT WAS A LOT ‐‐ IN THE FIRST

YEAR OR TWO OF THE SHOW, WE WERE
THERE A LONG TIME RECORDING.

NOW IT'S KIND OF LIKE CLOCKWORK,
AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE

>> Seth: SURE.
DID YOU ‐‐ SO YOUR SON'S 11.

GROWING UP WHEN YOU WERE, YOU
KNOW, READING BOOKS TO HIM AND

BEING A FATHER IN GENERAL, WAS
HE IMPRESSED WITH YOUR ABILITY

TO COME UP WITH VOICES AND BE A
MIMIC?

>> NO.
HE WAS, IF ANYTHING, FRIGHTENED

AND ANNOYED.
[ LAUGHTER ]

LIKE, WHY ARE STRANGE NOISES
COMING OUT OF DADDY?

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
AND WHEN WE WERE PREGNANT, WE

RAN INTO ROBIN WILLIAMS, WHO I
KNEW AND WORKED WITH A FEW

TIMES.
AND, OF COURSE, ROBIN DID ‐‐ YOU

KNOW, BEING ROBIN, DID A
20‐MINUTE SHTICK ON MY WIFE'S

PREGNANT BELLY
AND IN BETWEEN CRAZY JOKES,

SAID, "YOU'LL SEE," BECAUSE HE
KNEW I WAS A VOICE GUY

HE SAID, "YOU'LL SEE
YOUR KID WON'T LET YOU DO VOICES

FOR LIKE THE FIRST SIX YEARS
HE'S ALIVE."

AND HE WAS COMPLETELY CORRECT
ABOUT THAT

AND THEN, OVER THE YEARS, HE HAS
EASED HIS POLICY

BUT THEN IT HAD TO BE, LIKE,
CERTAIN VOICES WOULD SCARE HIM

AND STILL DO
[ LAUGHTER ]

LIKE, I CAN DO A PRETTY GOOD
VILLAIN, YOU KNOW.

I CAN START WITH THIS STUFF AND
[ GROWLS ]

AND HE'S, LIKE "AH, DADDY, NO!
[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: MY SON WILL BE SAVED
FROM THAT, BY MY TERRIBLE VOICE

WORK
UM, HEY, LAST THING.

THIS IS A REAL ‐‐ I WANT TO
SHOUT YOU OUT.

THE "BROCKMIRE" JACKET, WHICH IS
A WORTHY INCLUSION, IS CURRENTLY

IN THE HALL OF FAME, BASEBALL
HALL OF FAME

>> IT IS NEXT TO "THE SIMPSONS"
DISPLAY FOR THE "HOMER AT THE

BAT" EPISODE IS THE "BROCKMIRE"
JACKET

AND OLD TIMEY MICROPHONE
I THINK THE FOLKS OVER THERE ARE

BIG "BROCKMIRE" FANS
I'M VERY BAD AT SELLING MY OWN

PROJECTS
BUT I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH,

"BROCKMIRE," I MEAN.
I LOVE "THE SIMPSONS" TOO.

BUT TAKE THE "BROCKMIRE"
CHALLENGE, SETH MEYERS'

AUDIENCE
WATCH ‐‐ IT'S ALL ON HULU, ALL

FOUR SEASONS
YOU CAN BINGE IT NOW

IT'S EIGHT EPISODES PER SEASON,
22 MINUTES

THAT'S ONE QUARANTINE AFTERNOON.
I MEAN, COME ON.

>> Seth: ABSOLUTELY.
>> WATCH THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES

OF SEASON ONE.
IF YOU DON'T ‐‐ OF EPISODE ONE,

SEASON ONE
IF YOU DON'T LAUGH, YOU HAVE MY

PERMISSION TO STOP WATCHING.
>> Seth: AND I ALSO WANT TO

STRESS, BECAUSE I THINK MY NEW
FAVORITE THING IS IF YOU CAN

HAVE A 22‐MINUTE SHOW THAT ALSO
HAS SOME DRAMA IN IT, THAT'S A

GOLD MINE FOR ME
AND "BROCKMIRE" HAS A LOT OF

THAT
SO, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT AS

WELL
HANK, IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO

SEE YOU, BUDDY
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

SETH MEYERS.
KEEP UP THE WONDERFUL WORK

[ LAUGHTER ]
♪

>> Seth: COME BACK TOMORROW,
WE'LL HAVE THE GREAT

WANDA SYKES, AND JUDD APATOW
WILL BE HERE TO TALK ABOUT "THE

KING OF STATEN ISLAND.
AND AN ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪

>> Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS THE
PRESIDENT OF THE APPEAL, A

NONPROFIT JOURNALISM SITE
FOCUSED ON CRIMINAL JUSTICE, AND

THE HOST OF THE POPULAR PODCAST

"JUSTICE IN AMERICA.
HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH
JOSIE DUFFY RICE

>> GOOD.
HOW ARE YOU?

>> Seth: I AM WONDERFUL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING

TIME FOR US.
I HAVE TO IMAGINE THIS LAST FEW

WEEKS HAS BEEN VERY EMOTIONALLY
OVERWHELMING FOR YOU AS IT HAS

BEEN FOR SO MANY OF US
BUT IT ALSO MUST BE

PROFESSIONALLY OVERWHELMING.
I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW MANY

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN REACHING OUT TO
YOU BASED ON WHAT YOU WERE

ALREADY DOING.
>> YEAH.

I THINK I'M GETTING, LIKE,
200 MORE EMAILS A DAY.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE FOR

PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN DOING THIS
WORK LONGER.

SO, IT IS ‐‐ IT IS PEOPLE
FINALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TALK ABOUT
FOR A LONG TIME.

SO IT'S EXCITING
>> Seth: AND HOW LONG HAS IT

BEEN ‐‐ HOW LONG WOULD YOU SAY
YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT

>> I STARTED WORKING IN CRIMINAL
JUSTICE REFORM, LIKE, TEN YEARS

AGO.
AND IN THE MIDDLE I WENT TO LAW

SCHOOL AND STUFF
BUT I DEFINITELY ‐‐ LIKE, MY

HUSBAND HAS BEEN TIRED OF ME
TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF, LIKE,

AT THE DINNER TABLE FOR YEARS.
SO NOW I FEEL LIKE A LITTLE

VINDICATED BY THE FACT THAT
EVERYBODY'S INTERESTED, YOU

KNOW
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: SO, I DO WANT TO ASK
ABOUT THE FACT THAT I'M

IMAGINING NOW MORE THAN EVER YOU
HAVE ‐

BECAUSE IT DOES SEEM AS THOUGH
THIS HAS BEEN AN AWAKENING FOR

WHITE PEOPLE, AND YOU PROBABLY
HAVE A LOT OF THEM COMING TO YOU

ASKING FOR BOTH CONSTRUCTION AND
EXPLANATION.

IS THAT WONDERFUL, OR IS THERE A
FRUSTRATION TO THE FACT THAT YOU

ARE HAVING TO SERVICE THEM AT A
TIME WHEN YOU COULD BE DOING

OTHER THINGS
>> I REALLY APPRECIATE HOW HARD

IT IS TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW,
YOU KNOW

AND, LIKE, I REALLY APPRECIATE
HOW HARD IT IS TO ASK QUESTIONS

AND REALLY SAY, LIKE, "WHAT CAN
I DO?"

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?"
"WHAT ARE THE NEXT STEPS?"

AND, SO, WHILE THERE ARE ONLY
24 HOURS IN A DAY, AND I HAVEN'T

ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO GET BACK TO
EVERYBODY THAT I WANT TO GET

BACK TO, I THINK PEOPLE ASKING
QUESTIONS IN GOOD FAITH IS

REALLY, UM ‐‐ I'M REALLY
GRATEFUL FOR THAT.

OF COURSE, I ALSO HAVE THE HIGH
SCHOOL FRIENDS THAT EVERYBODY

HAS THAT ARE POSTING THE SAME
"ALL LIVES MATTER" THINGS.

AND THOSE I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE
MY TIME ON

BUT ‐‐
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: RIGHT
>> FOR PEOPLE WHO, YOU KNOW ‐‐ I

THINK THIS IS A GALVANIZING
MOMENT FOR PEOPLE.

AND I THINK FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE
THEY JUST DIDN'T SEE THIS AS THE

MAJOR KIND OF ISSUE THAT IT IS
IN SO MANY BLACK COMMUNITIES

AND SO IF THIS IS TURNING LIGHTS
ON FOR PEOPLE, I THINK THAT'S

GOOD
>> Seth: THERE HAVE BEEN SOME

RESULTS.
RIGHT?

WE'VE SEEN SOME POLICE
DEPARTMENTS BAN NO‐KNOCK

WARRANTS, LIKE IN LOUISVILLE
CHOKEHOLDS HAVE BEEN BANNED IN

SOME POLICE DEPARTMENTS.
DO YOU SEE THOSE AS PROGRESS, OR

ARE YOU WORRIED THAT PEOPLE WILL
SEE IT AS THE COMPLETION OF A

SOLUTION AS OPPOSED TO THE VERY
BEGINNING?

>> YEAH.
I THINK A LOT OF THE SOLUTIONS

FALL INTO TWO DIFFERENT CAMPS.
THERE ARE SOME SOLUTIONS LIKE

WHAT YOU SEE IN LOS ANGELES,
MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE THEY'RE

REALLY TALKING ABOUT REDUCING
THE RESOURCES THAT WE SPEND ON

POLICE AND PUTTING THOSE
RESOURCES ELSEWHERE.

RIGHT?
THINKING ABOUT HOW TO SPEND ON

HEALTH CARE, MENTAL HEALTH
RESOURCES, EDUCATION, PARKS.

AND THOSE I THINK ARE REALLY
IMPORTANT STEPS.

THE POLICY QUESTIONS, IT'S NOT
THAT THEY DON'T MATTER, BUT I

DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK THAT
THERE HAVEN'T BEEN POLICIES IN

PLACE SAYING YOU CAN'T KILL
PEOPLE

[ LAUGHTER ]
BECAUSE THAT WAS A RULE.

RIGHT?
AND WHAT WE KNOW IS THAT POLICY

IS OFTEN NO MATCH FOR CULTURE.
AND IN PLACES WHERE POLICING

CULTURE IS SO ENTRENCHED AND
PROTECTIVE OF LAW ENFORCEMENT,

SMALL POLICY ‐‐ SMALL ATTEMPTS
AT POLICY ARE NOT MEANINGLESS,

BUT THEY'RE CERTAINLY NOT GOING
TO DO WHAT WE NEED THEM TO DO.

>> Seth: ONE THING THAT YOU
OFTEN HEAR FLOATED AS A

SOLUTION, PARTICULARLY TO THE
BLACK COMMUNITY, IS, HEY, THE

PROPER WAY TO ADDRESS THIS IS AT
THE VOTING BOOTH, RIGHT?

GO TO THE POLLS, MAKE YOUR VOICE
HEARD THAT WAY

PROTESTING IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.
AND YET, AS WE SAW IN GEORGIA

RECENTLY, THERE ARE MANY STATES
THAT MAKE IT VERY HARD FOR

PARTICULARLY THE BLACK COMMUNITY
TO VOTE.

ARE YOU CONCERNED AS YOU LOOK
FORWARD TO THE NEXT, YOU KNOW,

THE GENERAL ELECTION IN
NOVEMBER, AT HOW DIFFICULT THE

VOTING WAS IN GEORGIA?
>> YEAH.

I'M IN GEORGIA
WE WENT TO VOTE.

IT TOOK US ABOUT AN HOUR AND A
HALF

AND THAT WAS ON THE SHORTER SIDE
OF OUR JUST GENERAL AREA

AND, LOOK, THAT'S NOTHING NEW
FOR GEORGIA.

BRIAN KEMP AS GOVERNOR,
BRIAN KEMP AS SECRETARY OF STATE

BEFORE THIS, THIS IS A
DECADES‐LONG HISTORY IN GEORGIA

OF NOT WANTING BLACK PEOPLE,
POOR PEOPLE, AND PROGRESSIVES,

MORE GENERALLY, I THINK, TO SHOW
UP

AND SO I AM WORRIED.
I'M WORRIED EVERY ELECTION DAY

THAT WE MAKE IT SO DIFFICULT FOR
PEOPLE TO VOTE

IT'S REALLY ALMOST UNPRECEDENTED
IN ANY DEMOCRACY IN THE WORLD

JUST HOW HARD WE MAKE IT TO CAST
A BALLOT

AND WHILE IT IS IMPORTANT TO
POINT OUT THAT, LIKE, WHAT

HAPPENS AT THE VOTING BOOTH IS
NOT THE END OF CIVIC ENGAGEMENT,

IT CERTAINLY IS THE BEGINNING
FOR SO MANY PEOPLE

AND THE IDEA THAT, LIKE, PEOPLE
MAY NOT ACTUALLY GET TO ELECT

WHO THEY THINK SHOULD REPRESENT
THEM, ESPECIALLY IN A SYSTEM

LIKE THIS, IS REALLY TERRIFYING.
>> Seth: CAN YOU SPEAK TO THE

IDEA OF FELONY
DISENFRANCHISEMENT AND HOW THAT

IS, YOU KNOW, A PUNITIVE ACT ON
TOP OF SOMEONE WHO, YOU KNOW,

DOES THEIR TIME, FOR LACK OF A
BETTER WORD.

YOU KNOW, THE IDEAS THAT YOU
WOULD PAY BACK TO SOCIETY BY

SPENDING TIME IN PRISON, WHETHER
THAT MAKES SENSE OR NOT.

BUT ‐‐
>> RIGHT

>> Seth: THEN THEY'RE ALSO
PUNISHED FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO

VOTE WHEN THEY'RE OUT.
IS THAT SOMETHING THAT YOU FEEL

LIKE INROADS ARE BEING MADE?
OR DO YOU THINK THAT THERE'S AN

ATTRACT ABILITY ON THAT ISSUE?
>> YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT AT

LEAST IN TERMS OF THE NARRATIVE
DEVELOPMENT OF THIS ISSUE, YOU

SEE PEOPLE TALK MORE ABOUT THE
PROBLEM OF FELONY

DISENFRANCHISEMENT, AND THAT'S
HUGE

BUT IT REALLY IS A MAJOR ISSUE
AND IT'S NOT APPLICABLE IN ANY

OTHER COUNTRY THAT WE WOULD KIND
OF COMPARE THE U. S. TO, RIGHT?

IT DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE THAT
YOUR ABILITY TO VOTE IS TIED TO

YOUR CRIMINAL RECORD
IT JUST DOESN'T ‐‐ THE TWO

THINGS ARE NOT RELATED, AND THEY
SHOULDN'T BE RELATED

EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT
TO VOTE.

YOU KNOW, IF THEY'RE OVER 18 AND
FULFILL THEIR QUALIFICATIONS, IT

MAKES SENSE.
AND I THINK, MORE BROADLY, IT

MAKES IT VERY DIFFICULT IN TIMES
LIKE THIS TO TALK ABOUT THE

IMPORTANCE OF VOTING WHEN IT
COMES TO THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE

SYSTEM
RIGHT?

BECAUSE SO OFTEN THE PEOPLE THAT
ARE MOST AFFECTED BY THE SYSTEM

CAN'T EVEN CHOOSE WHO THEIR
REPRESENTATIVES ARE THAT ARE

MAKING THE RULES OR CREATING THE
CONDITIONS THAT LEAD THEM INTO

THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM TO
BEGIN WITH

AND THAT'S A REAL PROBLEM.
THERE'S NO REASON THAT SHOULD

HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH WHETHER
OR NOT YOU GET TO GO CAST A

BALLOT
>> Seth: SO, AGAIN, A LOT OF

PEOPLE SAY WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT
NOW IS YOU CAN GO VOTE

BUT AS WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THE
DIFFICULTY OF THAT AND OBVIOUSLY

PEOPLE SHOULD VOTE, THAT'S A
REALLY IMPORTANT THING, IF

PEOPLE COME TO YOU RIGHT NOW AND
ARE, YOU KNOW, ENCOURAGED TO TRY

TO ENACT SOME SORT OF ACTUAL
CHANGE, WHAT ARE YOU

RECOMMENDING THAT PEOPLE DO IN
THIS MOMENT?

>> I THINK THE FIRST THING I
RECOMMEND IS THAT PEOPLE LOOK UP

LOCAL ORGANIZERS IN THEIR
COMMUNITIES, PARTICULARLY

BLACK‐LED ORGANIZATIONS.
RIGHT?

THERE ARE PEOPLE JUST DOING
INCREDIBLE WORK ON THE GROUND

ORGANIZING PEOPLE, TRYING TO
MOVE POLICY AND PRACTICE DAY

AFTER DAY.
AND, SO, MAKING SURE THAT YOU'RE

SUPPORTING THOSE GROUPS.
I MEAN, IT'S GREAT TO SUPPORT

THE BIG NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS
AND THE ACLU, AND ET CETERA.

BUT THESE LOCAL GROUPS NEED YOUR
MONEY MORE

THE SECOND THING I ALWAYS TELL
PEOPLE TO DO IS TO SUPPORT LOCAL

JOURNALISM, RIGHT?
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO TELL

STORIES LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO
GEORGE FLOYD, FOR THESE THINGS

TO GET PICK UP WITHOUT A
JOURNALIST INFRASTRUCTURE.

AND, YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T JUST
RELY ON IT HAPPENING ON TWITTER

FOR US TO REALLY BE ABLE TO TELL
STORIES ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING

IN LAW ENFORCEMENT
AND SO MAKING SURE TO SUPPORT

LOCAL JOURNALISM, WHICH IS
OBVIOUSLY STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW,

IS A BIG ONE
AND THEN THE THIRD THING IS YOU

SHOULD ALWAYS KNOW WHO'S ON THE
BALLOT

RIGHT?
THE BALLOT IS NOT THE END GAME

IT CAN'T BE ALL YOU DO
BUT IT IS SOMETHING.

AND YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO YOUR
DISTRICT ATTORNEY IS

YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO YOUR SHERIFF
IS

YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO YOUR CITY
COUNCIL PERSON IS AND YOUR STATE

LEGISLATOR
AND YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ASK

THEM QUESTIONS ABOUT WHETHER OR
NOT THEY SUPPORT THE SORT OF

CHANGES THAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN
THESE MOMENTS.

AND IT'S HARD SOMETIMES TO FIND
THAT INFORMATION

BUT IT'S REALLY, REALLY
CRITICAL

>> Seth: LASTLY, I AGREE WITH
YOU ON SO MUCH

AND I THINK I MIGHT AGREE WITH
YOU ON SOMETHING ELSE.

BUT I HADN'T REALLY THOUGHT OF
IT MUCH.

BUT YOU GOT IN A LITTLE BIT OF
TROUBLE ON TWITTER, BECAUSE YOU

SAID THAT GRILLED CHEESES ARE
BAD.

>> THEY'RE REALLY BAD, SETH.
>> Seth: AND YOU GOT RATIOED,

WHICH IS ‐
>> I DID

[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Seth: ‐‐ WHICH IS ‐‐ WHICH

DOES NEVER HURT ANYBODY'S
NAME ‐‐ BUT GIVE YOUR ‐‐ 'CAUSE

YOU KNOW, I HADN'T REALLY
THOUGHT ABOUT IT, BUT I WILL

SAY ‐‐ AND NOW I'M GOING TO
CATCH THE SAME HOT HELL YOU DID.

I DO THINK IT'S A SANDWICH FOR A
CHILD.

I WILL TAKE THAT POSITION.
>> IT IS A SANDWICH FOR A CHILD.

MY NEXT LEVEL ABOUT OPINION IS
THAT MAC AND CHEESE IS ALSO BAD.

AND REALLY THE BASIS OF THIS
COMES FROM THE FACT THAT I DON'T

REALLY LIKE CHEESE
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

>> Seth: THAT'S COMING ACROSS.
THERE WAS THE ONE MAJOR THING IN

COMMON THERE
[ LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH, IT'S TERRIBLE
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

SO, THIS CAUSES A LOT OF GRIEF
IN MY HOUSEHOLD.

I HAVE A 2‐YEAR‐OLD, AND HIS
FIRST WORDS WERE "CHEESE."

>> Seth: YEAH.
>> LIKE, YOU KNOW, I GET THAT

I'M THE ODD PERSON OUT
BUT I DECIDED THAT IF I'M GOING

TO GET RATIOED FOR SOMETHING, I
NEED TO GO DOWN IN FLAMES.

>> Seth: YEAH.
>> AND GRILLED CHEESE IS THE WAY

TO DO IT
>> Seth: I THINK I WON'T ‐

LOOK, I'M WILLING TO MAYBE SEE A
PART OF YOUR POSITION ON THE

GRILLED CHEESE
I AM A HUGE CHEESE FAN

I MAKE CHEESE AND CRACKERS
I COULD SUBSIST ON THAT UNTIL

THE END OF TIMES, BUT ‐‐
SO LET'S JUST AGREE ON THE

SANDWICH PART ‐‐
>> YEAH.

>> Seth: AND LEAVE EVERYTHING
ELSE OUT OF IT SO THAT WE CAN

END ‐‐
>> WE CAN END NICELY, YES, ON

GOOD TERMS
THANK YOU FOR NOT CANCELLING ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Seth: YOU'RE VERY WELCOME

>> FOR NOT LIKING GRILLED
CHEESE

>> Seth: WELL, WE'RE TAPING THIS
AT AROUND, LIKE, 4:00 P. M., SO I

GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT IN, LIKE,
NINE HOURS IF WE CAN STILL BE

MEMBERS OF SOCIETY, BASED ON OUR
GRILLED CHEESE ‐

>> ABSOLUTELY.
WE MIGHT GET EXILED.

WE MIGHT HAVE TO START OUR OWN
SOCIETY.

>> Seth: WELL, HERE'S HOPING I
SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR MAKING TIME
FOR US

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, SETH
>> Seth: THANK YOU TO

JOSIE DUFFY RICE
CHECK OUT HER PODCAST "JUSTICE

IN AMERICA."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪
>> Seth: I WANT TO THANK MY

GUESTS, HANK AZARIA AND
JOSIE DUFFY RICE

I WANT TO THANK FRED ARMISEN AND
THE 8G BAND.

STAY TUNED FOR "LILLY SINGH.
STAY SAFE.

WASH YOUR HANDS.
WE LOVE YOU.

♪