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Listen Metin...

For a man to be able to die in peace he must at some point have planted a tree,

written a book and raised a child.

This tree will give you shade when you're an adult, writing your book.

I never learned to write very well.

But you'll learn. I promise.

Now trample.

Was that hard?

No, you're the joy of daddy's life.

Get back! Up against the wall! Hands up!

Shut up!

My name is Metin Turkoglu. I've done everything you shouldn't do, bro.

Why? Because I'm a fucking plonker. But never mind that, let's do this.

A HUSTLER'S DIARY

Dad said to write a book, plant a tree, get a kid before you leave.

A wanky night. The Ćantić brothers needed help with a bonfire.

Naturally I said I'd help them out.

They nicked a bag in town and I provided the smoke screen.

Ten big ones for a three minute job - now that's easy money.

That's a whole month's earnings for mum, and I get it in three minutes.

Earlier that evening, the Chinese truck had arrived

with marmalade, macaroons, detergent, liquor, but above all our watches.

Rolex, Patek, IWC, Omega...

We'll be rolling in it this month, if you catch my drift?

Make no mistake, the Chinese know their thing.

I even heard they make false eggs, broccoli, tomatoes and rice, bro.

Is anything imported genuine?

Maybe my mates. We used to knock off three post offices in one lunch hour.

I swear, they went cash-free because of blokes like us.

Respect my car!

They were busted cause they bragged, but we know to always shut up.

If you open your mouth once...

that's once too many.

Walking up the stairs on my way home one morning, I heard weird music.

At first I thought it was those potheads upstairs,

but to my big surprise it was my mother, Fatma.

- Has this turned into a disco? - It isn't any hotel either.

- Is that brat still asleep? - He's off to school. You got a letter.

What's with mum doing the merengue? I hope she smoked dope, nothing else.

You little brat, stay the fuck away from my book!

- Are Ali and Slim walking around with guns? - Shut up and stay out of my room.

Sit down! Now what have I been hearing?

You and your gangsta mates nicked some school class's savings. Don't laugh!

- Return them or I'll break your legs. - The money's gone.

- So how will they get to the zoo? You fucking drifter.

Hey, you haven't seen this, you know nothing. I mean it!

If anyone finds out about this book, I'm dead. I'm not joking.

The money's gone, he says.

What's wrong with today's youth? They're not like us.

Dad must be turning in his grave when he sees how those morons behave.

I'm the only normal person in this family.

- So your cousins from Angola visited? - Yes, there were a hundred of them.

But it was nice. We went to museums, I wanted to show them Swedish traditions.

The queue was too long at the Vasa, so we went to the Museum of Modern Art.

They thought it was super posh. We admired art and chilled out.

And it was the first time in my life that I saw Picasso.

Was he there?

You cretin. What's wrong with you?

Guess how much one of those paintings costs.

- 30 big ones? - More.

- 300? - Add one zero.

- 30 million? - That was two zeros, bro.

But that's correct: 30 fucking millions for one painting.

All we need to do is go in, grab it and leave. And there's our 30 million.

That's actually pretty clever. I didn't get it at first.

You moron. Who do you know that has 30 million in Jordbro?

- Relax, Metin, don't let them hear us. - Honestly, Picasso?

- He has a point. - Let's make some real dosh.

Picasso... God, the people I work with...

I'd like to pawn this one.

- Do you have the certificate and box? - Certainly.

Everything is in here, in original.

- I have to talk to my colleague. - Certainly.

- How much were you considering? - Something like 30,000.

- Can I see your ID, please? - Certainly.

I can see that you've been here before.

- 30,000? - What do you think?

- Long-term or short-term loan? - Short-term. Only until payday.

Which bank and account number do I transfer the money to?

No, I'd like it in cash.

Thank you!

The watches are going like hot cakes. As expected.

But seriously, how long does it last?

Someone's got to take care of the family.

My stupid little brother will not do it. And I was never a Zlatan when I was a kid.

Hey, Orhan! I'm here to pay off mum's debt.

Fatma, right?

I swear bro, I have to to do something else. I have to move on.

- Omar, how is your business doing? - I'm hiring again next week, so great.

- Wotcha! - God rewards the hard working.

- Omar may have a job for you. - No way I'm working for him.

- "No way"? - Now you're being rude.

No, I'm not rude, I've got stuff brewing.

Your brother has attitude problems. He thinks the whole world is against him.

- You're giving sis to this dodger? - Be quiet.

Tell you what...

I bought a new car. Would a dodger drive around in one of these?

A Porsche? This is exactly what I mean, Omar, it's a penis enlarger.

Stop talking like that!

- Take this to fill your car up. - Where did you get that money?

- I work. - Oh, you work now, do you?

And he's got stuff brewing.

- You'll see. I do have stuff brewing. - Right. That's interesting.

I'll show them.

Dad will be proud.

Hello, Metin!

Fatih, listen. I'm in a hurry. Why is everybody here?

Is this an interrogation?

Metin, how many cars did you set on fire?

Listen, I'm in a hurry. Just one car, Carlos's Lexus.

- Bullshit! - He needed the money quickly.

Insurance fraud. I never meant to burn down half the town and start a riot.

You take such risks.

I've done it a hundred times before, even for you.

Your problem is that you're too nice. Just like your father, rest his soul.

- Honestly, what am I even doing here? - So if it worked before, why not now?

I'll tell you why: People park like idiots around here.

I tried to get a pram from my sister's car, but they park too closely.

One tiny wind burst and other cars burn down.

- It's not my fault. - That's true.

Look at Norsborg, Fittja, Bredäng - not a single car fire in three months.

We have to stop scaring away the parking attendant.

Can I go? I'm in a rush.

Listen, we don't want any more fires here in this village.

- Okay? You can go. - Okay.

Hey, wait! Stop!

Hello? I need a cab from Jordbro station.

No, two minutes, not five, bro. It’s important.

Excuse me. Metin Turkoglu is here.

- Oh, I didn't think he'd come. - Wotcha!

- Didn't we cross him off an hour ago? - No, much earlier than that.

- You're three hours late. Why? - I know, I’m sorry.

I was at a hearing in the Turkish Society. Like a Swedish trial, sort of.

I happened to set a car on fire, cops came, kids threw stones. They blame me.

But old people just waffle on and on,

so I told them I had shit to do. I'm here, let's go.

Wait a minute. You're three hours late because you were at a hearing?

Yes, in Jordbro, so it took time to get here. But I'm here now, let's go.

- Okay, but do we have...? - What time is it now?

- Alright, let's do it. - What have you prepared?

To be honest, I read the letter you sent me, but I couldn’t suss it out.

- We want you to act out a scene. - A scene?

Right, I'll just take my jacket off.

You can start whenever you're ready. You have exactly three minutes.

Okay, I'll start with my back against you to set the right mood.

Get down on the ground now! Down, I said, now! Hands up!

You fucking looser, I only have two minutes! Hands up, I said...

- Bro, didn't you think I'd find you? - What's up?

- You never paid for the cab. - Sorry, bro, how much?

- 400 kronor. - You didn't have the meter on.

A meter in a black cab? I want 400.

- Oh, gosh! - Take this and get out, bro.

I have a drivers license. Promise. Fixed prices.

- Is this a joke, man? - He's good! - Call me.

Sorry, I forgot to pay that moron. Where in the hold-up were we?

Get down, motherfucker! Down...

- Thank you. - I never got to the good part.

Can I ask you a question? Have you ever acted before, at all?

To be honest: No. But I've seen three or four shows, I'm not joking.

They speak so weirdly in Swedish movies,

so this is something new. And my mates love me.

I can see how your friends would like this, but this is a drama school.

The application form can be hard to understand if you haven't acted at all.

But for us to be able to fairly assess if perhaps you can attend this school,

- which is a three year commitment... - Three? Come off it!

Then we want to see who you really are.

And that you express yourself through a monologue. Preferably in Swedish.

Have you prepared a monologue?

- Sure I have a monologue. Certainly. - Great. Start whenever you're ready.

- Frankly, I don't know what that is. - You haven't prepared a monologue?

- That thing I did, wasn't it good? - Yes! It was great meeting you.

- Thank you. Bye! - Bye!

What the hell?

I can hear the geezer's heart beat.

Unless it's my own heart. It's hard to tell right now.

The seconds are so short between his head and the concrete wall.

And any second now the coppers will be here.

Any second now his brains will stain the wall one shade lighter.

And I know it's time to leave, but I'm in the middle of my masterpiece.

I hear Aladdin shout: "Ey, duffer, the coppers are here! Lets go!"

"Coppers. Leg it. Push off."

"Geezer. Duffer."

Where is the dictionary...? No, I'll Google it.

Listen: "Geezer is mostly used in areas with high immigration."

"Geezer means bloke, guy..."

"Mohammed: Hey, bro, do you know Rostem? I heard he's fucking nuts."

"Ali: Bro, that's fucking true, that geezer's a real schizo."

Hey, wake up! Have you been into my room? Have you seen the book?

- No. - Hello, wake up! Are you sure?

- Have you been in my room? - Is it really gone?

- It's... - They'll kill you.

Do you know what time it is?

- Have you been into my room? - No. Are you drunk?

- Have you tidied up in my room? - You can do your own tidying up.

- Where have you been? - At the movies.

You reek of wine.

- Why isn't there any food? - There's börek in the freezer.

- Börek? It's been there for five years. - Isn't that good?

- What do you do during the days? - Oh, nothing. I just dance around.

What does he think I do?

This Fatih, have you been seeing him?

It sounds like it's getting serious between you two. Have you told Metin?

Omar, not one word to him about this. It's as if he's allergic to change.

That's because you've met a Turkish George Clooney.

- "Good day Fatih, how are you?" - He could hear us.

Bro, it's Metin. That's right.

Could you take a look in the back seat and see if you find a black book?

No? Bye.

Why the hell did I mention everyone's name in it? How stupid can you get?

I wonder what's worse - if the cops find it, or someone around here?

Either way I'm totally fucked.

- Fatih! - Wait, Metin, I was going to tell you.

- Tell me later. - You're like my own son.

- Have you seen a black book? - Yes, there's a book in the bar.

- This one? - Yes.

It's a Swedish-Turkish dictionary and it's yellow. See you!

What do we leave to posterity?

Cookery books, crime novels, gardening books...

We do have our climate drive. That's contemporary.

And there's the upcoming book fair. We actually have quite a few titles

that I think are rather... "Send!"

Was there more on the agenda?

Lena found this.

She liked it. Have a look at it, she has a knack for these things.

Lena, dearie...

Handwritten.

"04.45 - the loading dock, Jordbro."

Where did she find this?

- Who is this? - Metin?

- Yes. Who the hell are you? - Lena from drama school.

- Hey, what's up, Lena? - Not a lot.

- Fuck, don't tell me I got in? - No, sorry.

Everyone gets to do that first test and we don't give rejection feedback,

because so many people apply, you know.

- Okay, thanks for calling. - But I'm calling because of your book.

- What? My book? - Yes.

I love you right now. I've been searching for it like crazy.

- I've read it. - You've read my book?

And do you know, it's absolutely fantastic. Do you have a pen and paper?

- Hello. - Hello. Metin, is it?

Have a seat, Puma will be right here.

- Would you like a drink? - An espresso would be great.

- Sugar? - No, thanks. What is this place?

- A publishing house. - So they make books here?

- Do you write? - In my spare time.

Me too.

Metin? There you are!

- Welcome to Hollenbergs. I'm Puma. - Cool name.

Thanks, you too. I got your book from Lena, whom you met at drama school.

- How did that go? - I got in.

- Congratulations! - No, just joking.

But that's cool, Al Pacino didn't get in either.

I read your diary... and you really know how to write.

A good basis for a good book

that I would like to publish.

What?

I'd like to get it into bookstores.

Listen: You type out ten pages that I bring to the book fair in Frankfurt.

You can work here, wherever you want to sit, and I'll be your editor.

There's just one problem: If this gets out, half my town will get busted.

And you and me will end up shot in a rubbish tip. It's a secret book.

Secret? But that's even better.

Are you retarded or what? Don't you get it?

But it could free you up. - Thanks, Nathalie.

- I'm off to lunch. - Yes, go. The usual for me.

- Thanks, Natalie! - And I'll need an Aspirin too.

Did you... eff her?

"Eff"?

- No, that's not really my... thing. - It's everyone's thing. Look at her!

What's a secretary for? Are you gay or what?

Oh, dear... Yes, I'm a homosexual.

I didn't mean it like that, my cousin's friend is gay and...

Metin, homo sex is da shit.

- You're a nuts, man. - Hetero sex - overrated. Believe me.

Like I said, we'll work together. I edit your text...

Why would anyone even read my shit?

Because it's your story, from the heart. It's poetry!

I read quite a fair amount, but I hardly ever see anything like this.

- We already drew up a contract. - Like signing my own death sentence?

This is great literature. It'll be a bigger hit than the Zlatan book.

It reminds me of my own youth.

Ours are alike? Man, my shit happened!

It's not so much what you write, but how. That's your strength.

Life can end at any moment, but a book, it lasts forever.

We'll change all places, times, names... No-one will ever know.

- Do you think they're stupid? - How many of your mates read a book?

- None, where I come from. - Give me my book and I'm off.

Look through the contract, please. And you'll get an advance payment.

- Sleep on it. - Hey, I've tried to tell you plainly!

But now it's Metin style. I could kill you!

- Where's my fucking book? - Anders has it.

Anders Hollenberg, the CEO. He's at home, preparing a banquet.

- Don't lie. What's a banquet? - Dinner.

- Where does he live? - Södermalm.

If he's not home I'll come back and fuck you... I mean, I'll beat you up.

What are you staring at?

Hey, hey, what's up? Give me the ball! I'm Michael Jordan.

Omar, are you making a salad? - The best salad!

- I'll just take a shower. - My dressing is world class.

- I'm off to a banquet.

INCOMES OF THE WRITER ELITE

That's a shitload of dough. 20 million...

- Learn to knock, eh? - How's it going?

- Don't touch! - Oh, are you off on a date?

- Maybe. - What's his name?

You can't wear a hoodie. Put a shirt on if you want to be taken seriously.

- What do you know? - Ask your sister.

Get out now. No, come back, sorry.

- Can I borrow your car, bro? - Not in a million years.

Come on! You know that scores points with the birds.

What's that? Stop doing that. Look down less and up here more.

- You should look into their eyes. - Birds like money and cars, not eyes.

Oh my God. Come on habibi!

A question: Who is Camilla Läckberg?

- Metin! How nice to see you here. - Yes, Puma invited me.

- Is Anders here? - Yes.

- I'm here to get my book. - Stay for dinner.

- No, I'm in a hurry. But is he here? - Absolutely.

Have a drink, I'm getting some hors-d'oeuvres.

Please help yourselves, we can't save these.

- Bring a drink and I'll get him. - Some fucking house you have here.

I'll put the hors-d'oeuvres over here.

- Yo guys! - Hello.

- Anything new going on? - Yes, my latest novel.

It's a sort of idea-based, satirical novel written in a documentary style.

It's about a man who has an extremely unusual idea.

Among other things he'll try to buy an army tank on the black market.

- What do you think, is it believable? - Sure, bro, but don't forget this:

First, you have to pay in cash. These guys don't deal with cards or invoices.

Also it's not like smuggling five grams of coke up your arse. It's a tank.

What do you mean?

My friend's Serbian family deals with these. I'd choose a Russian model.

Russian? Like the T55 or T84?

Metin, Anders is in a Skype meeting, but he'll be done soon.

- But he says he hasn't got your book. - Puma says he gave it to Anders.

- What? So when will Puma be here? - Ask Anders. He may be at a book fair.

That's cool, Lena, thanks. I need to go.

- Metin? - Nathalie, what's up?

- Are you leaving? - Yeah.

- Wasn't it any fun? - Nicking some computers, that's fun.

There are some fucking weird blokes up there.

One bloke asked if I could help him to smuggle in a tank. Totally whacky!

- Let's go to Jordbro and eat shawarma. - What?

- Kebab, kind of. - But there's food up there.

No, I was there. A shrimp on a fucking match. It won't fill you up.

Got it. But I promised Lena, so I have to.

Okay, give us a hug.

- Hey, what are you doing? - What? You gave me a signal.

- I gave you a hug. - You have a boyfriend?

- See you later. - How about tomorrow?

- See you. - Give me your number.

- 0738... Forget it. - Hey, give me your number!

0738 and then? Quickly, I'm...

- Metin, where are you going? - What's up, bro?

- Did you turn your phone off? - No, it was just some bird.

So that's why!

Hey, where have you been, man?

- I tried to call ten times. - Sorry, I was with a bird.

- Invite us next time. - It wasn't that kind of bird.

- Does she have friends? - What a question!

- Pretending to be a gentleman... - Two beers, please!

- Hey! - Hey, come here, brother.

- There you are, bro, been working out? - How are you?

- Alright? - Got loads of stuff to do.

- Listen, boys. Have you seen Ali Ris? - I think he was here, but he left.

He did this job in Turkey with my little brother, cousin and Zigge.

When they came back they were hauled in. They're still inside, but not him.

- That's the way it works, bro. - He ratted on them, I know it.

- What will you do, cut him down? - Yeah, and stick it down his throat.

- What's up, boys? - Ali, stay there.

- Chill, man. Take it easy. - Stop!

He seems serious about it.

- That little minx. Are you eating? - I'll have a kebab.

Call an ambulance!

Fucking hell...!

- Call an ambulance! - They're on their way.

Call the ambulance...!

- The coppers are here. Metin, leg it! - No, stay!

I wonder if he made it.

Serves him right. He opened his mouth. The right way is always to shut up.

You have a point.

My uncle always says: "All leaking ships will sink sooner or later."

What if Yugoslav rats too?

Who will he rat on - his friends and customers? No, he's not like Ali.

Ali, that fucking snitch. If he ratted on me I'd aim higher than his kneecaps.

- Listen, I'm off. - Bye, brother.

Let's talk tomorrow. Bye!

- What did you see? - That he ran.

- And the shot came from there? - Behind there.

- Do you know who ran that way? - No.

Look over there.

- So you saw nothing? - I thought a drunkard had fallen over.

I thought it was children with firecrackers.

- It's not even New Year. - Don't we all have gunpowder at home?

You're really cool with that thing in your mouth, aren't you?

- Aren't you from here? - Yes, I'm from here. Bro.

Hi, Puma. I went home to Anders and he says you didn't give him the book.

So why are you lying to me?

He says he never got it.

Hi, Metin here. Puma says you have my book.

Promise, Anders. It's important. You've been fucking me around for...

Alright, but don't forget. It's really important.

Bring it to the office, I'll come by in the morning.

- Hi, where's Anders? - He's on holiday.

You're joking? Will you call him? He said he'd bring the book.

But he's on holiday so I can't disturb him. He's on a birthday surprise trip.

- How about Puma then? - He's in Norway. He's cross with you.

- Cross with me? He's an idiot. - What's your problem?

I don't have my book, so please call him.

I can e-mail him to call you so that you can pick it up next week.

- Next week? I really need it today. - I understand, but I can't help you.

Sorry about yesterday.

But you can't give me signals if you don't want me to attack.

I didn't.

Nathalie, you eye-fucked me yesterday. Or actually, you eye-raped me.

- I "eye-raped" you? - I had to shower. It was that bad.

- Now you're doing it again. - Looking at you?

There's a difference between the two. When you eye-fuck you look intensely.

I'm curious about your writing.

Puma says it's about self-experienced criminality.

Seriously, how do I get hold of the book?

- Do what you always do in the suburbs. - So that's how you see me?

I bet there's a silent alarm, so five minutes tops.

Don't touch anything. We're out in three. I know the people who live here.

- What do you mean you know them? - Don't touch, I said.

Hey, come on!

Hey, didn't you hear me? I told you not to nick anything!

- Hey, do you think we work for free? - We're taking it all back right now.

Relax, the coppers are probably there.

- Did you see... - The painting?

You and your fucking paintings! Next time we'll rob a museum.

Hey, why don't you answer my calls?

I'm not stupid, you're messing about in Husby.

If you throw stones or burn cars I'll kill you. Auntie lives there. Go home!

You told me this morning it was a job.

I want nothing to do with this, let's throw the loot in a lake.

- We can flog it to Carlos. - The world's greatest bastard?

- At least he has cash and stash. - Come on, let's go then.

I told you not to nick anything, now you've made everything worse.

That last job was good, we raked it in, but we were too few.

The next job is big, so we need one more and I'm thinking Metin.

Metin is good. He pulls in cash and lays low.

- Metin! Alright, bro? - Yeah, you?

- What do you have for us? - A bit of everything.

- So I see. 20 big ones. - The Patek alone costs 100.

- So go to a fucking pawnbroker. - It's hot stuff, they need to rest.

You're smart for a petty crook. Okay, 30.

- 50. - Are you mad? No, 40.

40.

- You're doing well, aren't you? - Coffee money.

I've been keeping an eye on you. I like your style, you're not a spendthrift.

I'm guessing you pull in around half a million yearly.

The problem with making a lot of cash is that you can easily get enemies.

So Metin, I want to be your friend, okay?

I take 20 percent and you get jobs from me.

Well, I have plans, bro. I'm gonna start studying.

- Studying? Can you even read, you wog? - I'm gonna be an actor.

Why?

People kill and rat on each other, it's not like the old days.

"Not like the old days"? Is that a threat?

No.

Don't forget who's let you work here in peace. Bugger off!

- Metin, are you okay? - Sure.

40 big ones in three minutes, man. Even I fell for that acting crap.

"Study acting." Can you even do that in Sweden?

Come on, let's party like kings tonight!

Sorry, bro, I have to get up early tomorrow.

- I'm taking mum to a flea market. - You make me lost for words.

Stop sulking, we're partying tonight. Don't pull out.

How long do we have to stand here?

- Are you on the guest list? - Couldn't you have asked that earlier?

- Sorry. And you have the wrong shoes. - These cost me 1,500 kronor.

- That's not enough to get in here. - Then maybe 40 big ones is enough?

- Put them on something else. - Don't worry, we will.

You're not pulling out, bro, we're partying tonight!

Let's get wasted!

Switch your phone on, Anders. I want my fucking book back!

This is no fucking game! I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Pick up and give me my book back!

- You've taken something, I see it! - It's something crazy.

- I'm like this, I swear. - What's in your pockets?

Nothing! Search me if you want to.

- Where have you been? - To the loo. Did you miss me?

- Have you tried E? Do you want to? - No, I'm fine.

Let me put it like this: It makes you fuck like rabbits all night.

Let's do it then.

They work quicklier if you chew them.

- Where are you off to? - We'll be right back.

You okay?

30-40 MINUTES LATER

You're totally bonkers. How could you swallow it?

Don't be cross with me, bro.

The ship is leaking, bro. And what do you do with a sinking ship? Leave it.

If you can swim, that is.

I have to get my book back.

They took anything that rolls. Mopeds, jeeps, whatever. Anything that rolls.

I'm telling you, anything. Hey, there's your brother.

Come on. Hurry up!

- What did I said about being out late? - You're out late too.

- You're not like me, okay? - You're respected.

People look up to you. They talk about you all the time.

- So you want to be like me, or what? - Of course, I want respect too.

What?

Do you really want to be like me? To walk in my fucking shoes?

You wouldn't last for a day, man. Do you know what that nitwit did?

He bumped some bloke off for nothing. Is that the kind of life you want?

Mum works day and night to be able to send you to a nice school.

Do you think this is a bloody game?

- I'm a fucking looser, got it? - No, you're not! Not a fucking looser.

People like you, brother. They talk about you all the time.

- Mum must be worrying herself to bits. - She isn't even home.

- What do you mean? - She wasn't home when I left.

Hey, are you taking the mickey?

- Don't you know? - What don't I know?

She's seeing someone.

Hey! What "someone"?

The bloke from the society. The one who runs it all.

- Fatih? The Fatih! - Yes, the only Fatih there is.

- Why haven't you told me? Idiot! - I thought you knew.

- Where have you been so late, Emre? - And how about you?

- I couldn't sleep. - Really? - Go to bed, bro.

How are you?

What have I been hearing? Mum, you know...

- Don't play games, I see when you lie. - About what?

- About that I met someone? - Exactly! You fucking met someone!

- So what? - What do you mean "so what"?

Don't I have the right to have something? It's Fatih!

What about dad? I know who Fatih is, fuck him!

- Why should I be alone all my life? - You're fucking 50!

Isn't it enough with me, bro, sis and Omar?

You know he and dad were friends, don't you?

You make me look like a fool.

I always loved your dad, but I can't join him in his grave.

Fatih?

- Metin! - Hi!

- Where did you get that stuff? - What are you talking about?

- The stuff you gave to Carlos. - Does it matter?

Half an hour after you left, the cops picked both that and Carlos up.

- Where did you get gold and watches? - Some door. Do you think I'm a snitch?

- Why would I think that? - So what do you want?

Listen, if I get to hear anything else, anything at all...

- That's enough, Erkan! - I'll get you. Shut up!

Until Carlos gets back, you and your gang go by my rules. I get 50 percent.

- Erkan... - Shut up! 50 percent, I said.

That's not counting your whore of a mum!

What did you say? Whose fucking mum?

What?

- Stop, that's enough! - Whose mum are you talking about?

- Enough...! - Enough?

- Hey, whose fucking mum?! - I'm sorry!

Why did I even hit him?

Why did I hit a little rat like that?

Because he said stuff about mum or because I'm a fucking moron?

I'm getting tired of myself.

And what do those inner city dudes think - that I'm some stupid wog?

They go Anders-Puma-Anders-Puma... Am I a bloody ping pong ball?

I'm better than this.

Get back! Up against the wall! Hands up!

- What did I do? - Shut up!

- Metin Turkoglu? - I haven't done anything.

- Hands up! Any sharp objects? - No, and I haven't done anything.

- Keep still. - What have I done?

Shut up! You'll find out at the station.

- Metin? - I haven't done anything.

Get in.

- Is this a way to raise a child? - Ask your mother!

- Come on, admit it! - If you cooperate, it'll soon be over.

- I want to go home. - I'm not saying another word.

Why did you beat him up so badly? He almost died. Are you a psychopath?

- You were identified by Erkan Demir. - Who the hell is Erkan Demir?

That's strange, you did time together at reform school when you were 15, 16.

- That was long ago, I don't remember. - I see.

For aggravated assault you could get 3-4 years.

No, I'd say attempted murder. 12 years.

- Listen, brother... - I'm not your brother.

- We both grew up in Jordbro. - So that's why I recognized you?

Remember the stones thrown at you?

- Yes, actually. Was that you? - It was indeed.

Who the hell is Puma Andersson? What kind of a poofy name is that?

- He's my boss. - Your boss? Do you work?

- Yes, I'm a writer. - Why didn't you say so?

How nice, are we sitting here with the cultural elite?

Do you write German porn novels?

Now listen! 12 fucking years, do you hear me?

We both know that Erkan will beat you up out there if I let you go.

Or his cousin, or his neighbour...

Do you hear me? Do you?

You bastard.

You fucking cunt! Just wait until I get hold of you!

I'll fuck your mum, you fucking cunt!

Do you hear me? Do you hear? You cunt! You ruined everything!

God, how childish. It's tragic.

- Couldn't you have given him the book? - Yes, I'm sorry.

I'll make sure you get your watches back.

- Is that a new wine fridge? - Yes, we bought it last spring.

- Hello. - Hello, I'm looking for Metin.

- Are you a policeman? - God no, I work at a publishing house.

- Is it a copper? - Go to your room!

- Sorry, I didn't catch that? - That is a copper.

Stop, before I hit you. Go to your room! - Sorry.

- Metin wrote a book, I'm his editor. - What fucking book?

You must be mistaken, Metin can't write.

There's another Metin further up the street.

- Turkoglu... Metin. - Yes, that's us, Turkoglu.

- That's him. Do you know where he is? - The police came and took him away.

Okay, thanks for telling me.

Hi, Puma, it's Metin.

No, I wanted to say about the book that I've reconsidered things.

Hello? Hello?

- You fucking cunt! - Calm down.

- Can I make another call? - Calm down first.

A man is held in custody on suspicion of aggravated assault in Jordbro.

According to the investigators, the crime is gang related.

The police remain reticent on any further motives involved.

Phonecall, Metin.

Metin here?

Hello!

Awaiting trial? And when will that be?

Do you know when I'll get out?

No, but like I said, it wasn't me. I don't know what else to say.

Get a job? That's not so easy. Sure, I'll think about it.

My son...

I missed you.

- Where's little bro? - Little bro? Find a job!

- Or pack your things and get out! - So that Fatih can have my room?

You're not the father in this house, you're my son! Respect your mother.

Fatih will take care of that Erkan business at the Turkish Society.

- I'll take care of it myself. - Don't talk back at me!

Don't you think I heard that you pay off my debt to Orhan? With what money?

Don't you think I know that you don't work? What do you do?

I brought you into this world, not the other way around!

Try to understand this, will you!

- Think! Don't look away when I talk. - What happened to him?

- Never you mind. - Who the hell did that?

I'm not a snitch.

What did he say? What does "snitch" mean?

Are you proud of what you've accomplished?

- Would you like some tea? - No thanks.

The following happened:

Erkan insulted Metin.

He talked about Metin's mother.

Metin hit him on the head.

Erkan talked to the police. The police came for Metin.

The Swedish trial will take place within a year,

but we must continue living and doing business, right?

So here, tonight, the real trial takes place.

Everyone agrees that in a year, in the Swedish trial, you will say this:

Erkan, tired after work, went in to Orhan to buy sweets

for visiting relatives from Gothenburg.

On his way home, three Somalis wanted his mobile phone and wallet.

That's when they attacked him.

- Okay? - Okay, okay.

The compensation for the misunderstanding is 50,000.

Your honour, look at his face! It took ten meters of thread to stitch him up.

- 200,000. - 80,000.

I don't want his fucking money!

- 100,000. - I don't want any fucking money!

- Give him the money. - But I don't want it.

It's everything I own, 110,000 kronor. I don't have any more.

Count the money.

- Is it correct? - Okay.

Now shake hands. Come on!

Come on now! Come on!

See you.

- Bye, gentlemen! - Bye!

How the hell could you call the police? You make our whole family look bad.

We'll continue this at home.

Do you know what's sick? All those guys with gold chains and Mercs,

it's all just a fucking facade.

When a guy says he'll kill someone, it's because his mates expect it.

So everything is just playacting. All that you see, all that you hear.

No-one wants to kill, to get blood on their hands.

But they're expected to be that person. It's all just an act.

Maybe you think: "What does he know?"

But I do. Cause I've been there, seen it all, done it all.

And I know that one of these days there'll be a bang.

The only question is how.

Puma, I'm telling you, I'll kill at writing this book.

I said yes. Why can't we just shake hands?

This contract stuff is not my thing.

I was tricked once by a phone salesman, since then I don't trust anything.

- Do you have a pen? - I do.

Page two.

My mum said: "Metin, whatever you do, never sign a contract." And here I am.

Here are your contracts.

- Yes, but one is for you. - Naturally.

Oh, this is so good... Here where she goes up.

- It's just so good. - You really listen to this every day?

There you go.

You had it all along, right, you bastard?

- What are you waiting for? - Nothing. Can I go?

- Start working by the desk behind you. - Are you my boss, or what?

- 20 pages by the end of the month. - I need to get some inspiration first.

By the way, Anders wants his watches back.

- Can you see who it is? - That was a big misunderstanding.

You told me that the book was there, so in the end I had to fix it myself.

And the watches are gone, they're non-returnable. The guy's in the nick.

And the gold is probably at some wedding...

Metin, can you hear yourself?

And regarding this video, we're the only ones who have it. So far.

It's not as if I did a break-in. Okay, I had no key, but I needed my book.

That felt like my lunch cue.

Nathalie will be here. You can start working. Leave her alone, please.

Anything could happen. You could end up like Ali, shot four times in the leg.

I'm glad if I end up like Ali. He's alive.

But I changed all places and names. It's cool.

- So you think people here are idiots? - Nobody can force you to do this.

It's not that. I'm waiting for a trial, and then that video from the flat.

- I had to for our sake. - What? Do they have a video of us?

- Are you joking? Did you rat on us? - Calm down!

I'm not calm with this. Did you rat on us?

- It'll be alright. - How? You're in it too.

- So you agreed? - They forced me.

- Forced you? - Do you want the video out?

- I did it so we won't get busted. - How can you know about the video?

- See you. - What's the matter with you?

We'll solve this. Come back! Hello?

Fucking drama queen.

I'll talk to him later. So what happens now, will you be gone for a while?

Yes, I can't be seen here, I have to lay low.

- How about the watches and all that? - You and Aladdin do it. Just for now.

Okay.

You know, I really never wanted this to happen.

So this book, is it Scarface, is it any good? Do you make me look good?

What do you think? They tell me it's good.

But honestly, between you and me, you say they forced you?

It sounds to me as if you want to write this book. Know what I mean?

Tell you what, bro, I'm going now. Okay?

Bratte, I mean it. I really never wanted this to happen.

Puma?

I've been thinking. I need somewhere to stay.

I can't stay at home now that... Well, I just can't. So maybe at Nathalie's?

No.

- You can stay with me, dearie. - With you?

- Are you joking? - I have room.

Sorry about the mess.

Over there is the guest room, here's the kitchen, cleaner comes once weekly.

Here's the washing machine. Great for you.

Jacuzzi, free to use. Library in here...

Like I said before: Really weird things are starting to happen.

Like a ball rolling down a hill. It just keeps rolling faster and faster.

The feeling is that of a dopehead chasing for his next fix.

I wake up in the night from mum's crying. The house is full of people.

I knew exactly what had happened. I knew that my dad had died.

A turning point. "I have to take care of mum and my siblings", I thought.

I guess that's when everything started. When I became a plonker.

I could kill you!

Metin, leg it!

- Why should I be alone all my life? - You're fucking 50!

Fuck!

Mum works day and night. Do you think this is a bloody game?

- I'm a fucking looser, got it? - No, you're not!

You're not a fucking looser. People look up to you.

Are you proud of what you've accomplished?

I love you.

Hey, man. You should look in this book about rust. So beautiful.

Honestly, Puma, I can't do this. I'm quitting.

- Quitting? - Packing it in.

- You can't do that, we invested in it. - You see a project, it's more to me.

No, I don't. What's happened? You can tell me everything.

Is it writer's block? I told you:

Zoom out, "what am I doing?", go back to the source,

find the smells, the language, blood, suburbs, criminal behaviour...

Criminal behaviour? So to you I'm just any old wog from the suburbs?

You know I don't think that.

I've told you before: It's not about reality, but the conception of it.

So made-up crime is better than the truth that I want to write about?

- What do you mean? - The real crooks are people like you.

All of you fucked up my life. You forced me to do things I've never done.

- I fucked up your life? - You did.

People in the suburbs do petty crimes. They nick 4,000 kronor and get 4 years.

While the likes of you and your CEO fiddle with hundreds of millions.

Don't laugh. Have you heard of a CEO doing time? Am I the crook or are you?

- What did we force you to do? - Bog off!

- Hey, Metin, brother! - I'm not your fucking brother.

I know what makes a book sell. Why don't you trust me?

I haven't forced you, I'm just your editor.

You applied to drama school and sneak around writing a diary for years.

I never forced you.

Why did you apply to drama school? Why do you sneak around with...?

No, I'll erase the video and tear up the contract

if you tell me what you want with your life.

Think! Think about it. Oh, was that difficult for you?

Think about it. What do you want to do with you life?

- What the hell are you doing here? - Nothing.

- Nothing? Don't you live in town? - I told you he'd come home.

- You probably caused havoc, eh? - Yeah, like usual.

- There won't be any book, bro. - Why not?

- I quit. - Did you quit or did you give up?

- Quit. - That's the same thing. Why?

- Never mind, old Metin is back. - Old Metin is here.

I'll forget it this time, cause we've known each other since pre-school.

- But next time you're on your own. - They close at three, bro.

Anyone can make a mistake once, but it's still once too often. Got it?

- I hear you. - Just don't forget it.

- Where are you off to? - The pawnshop.

- The pawnshop? Let's go! - You're coming?

What kind of a question is that? I taught you everything about that place.

What's up with him?

Did you forget your ID?

What's happening, brother?

- Be good, boys. - Metin? Metin?

ONE YEAR LATER

- Can I borrow your car tonight? - Bug off!

Why not? The birds give more when you have a great car.

- They give when you have a bike too. - You're like Omar.

It's in the bag, Nathalie. - We have fifteen minutes. Nervous?

He's crazy, that geezer.

- I'm looking for Metin. - Seriously, what are you doing here?

We made a little discovery that we need to bring up with you.

It seems as if you pawned a few watches.

- Yes, one watch. So what? - 46 of them.

No-one complained until one bloke's watch broke.

What happened when he went to get it mended?

- It turned out to be a copy. - From China.

That made us look into the other 45 watches.

- And they were copies too. - From China.

- I must have been conned. - 46 times? Come with us.

Excuse me!

This book signing will be over in half an hour. Can you do your thing after that?

Well, whatever you think, we're bringing this guy with us.

But... I don't think you understand my situation. I can't work like this.

So please just give me half a bloody hour.

Half an hour is all I ask, so that we can get this book signing done.

We'll take the backdoor, nobody will notice.

No, hang on, take the main entrance. It's the PR coup of the year!

"Writer of A Hustler's Diary arrested at own book signing." It'll be a smash hit.

Stop it, dammit!

Great! You're a genius.

We'll bring him out through the main entrance.

- Please handcuff him. - "Handcuff"?

Dad said to write a book, plant a tree, get a kid before you push off.

At least I've done two out of three. What have you done, mate?

AN EYE FOR THE CONTEMPORARY

- This book is smashing. - I knew he was writing it. I did!

- Can I see? What's it about? - What he does during the days.

He's written a fucking book and it's smashing!

Oh my soul.

So where's your book?

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