Original subtitles

Aah!

Hi, Jade.

(Gasping) Jackie.

Don't sneak up on me like that.

Oh, I was sneaking up on you?

You're supposed to be back at the hotel.

Sure, limit my exposure to other cultures.

Stifle my educational potential.

Jade, I'm only trying to stifle your potential to be harmed.

What if the dark hand were here, too,

looking for the snake talisman?

Did you find it?

Ah, not yet.

You'd think it were invisible.

Oh! The dark hand!

Stay here.

I thought you meant here with you.

Welcome to another episode of just the artifacts.

Your passage to the thrilling world of archaeology.

I am your guide, Wesley rank.

And today, I have braved the treacherous anaconda falls

to bring you to a secret site--

the legendary lost temple of culebra gigante,

a monstrous serpent,

said to be thousands of years old.

And look!

This ancient chalk drawing

clearly indicates that a snake cult

once worshipped their fearsome idol,

right here on this very spot.

Tsk. Not much of a temple, is it?

And as for culebra itself, well--(Laughs)

No big snakes around here.

What a goofball!

Jackie, why don't you get in front of the camera

and tell him a thing or two?

Jade, I don't want to be on TV.

We are on a top-secret mission.

No one must know what we're looking for.

You there!

Can't you see we're filming?

Who are you two?

Uh, we're, um--

archeologists.

Stop that! I mean cut! Cut!

Edit them out.

Camera hog.

This is my dig. There's nothing here for you. Go away.

What are you looking for anyway?

Uh...The exit. Bye-bye.

Chan...

We really have to stop using the same travel agent.

The dark hand!

More archaeologists?

Quite the popular "secret" site.

The talisman.

I don't know what you're talking about. Ohh!

Talisman?

The snake talisman.

(Grunts)

Hyah!

Aaii!

Oww! Ohh!

Whoa.

Wow! He's an archeologist?

Jackie's totally ready to host his own show--

educational, but with an action/adventure slant.

We're thinking of calling it Jackie chan can.

I'm the plucky cohost.

Aw, cut! Cut!

Edit that out, too.

Tch. Rank is totally rank.

Whoa...The snake talisman!

Hmm...

Talisman.

Whoaa!

Twofer. Jackie, look!

Busy, Jade.

Sorry. Camera loves him.

I want another shot of that.

Get in tight.

Down!

Aah! - Aah!

(Gasping)

Ratso?

Ratso. Ratso!

Heh heh. Did you see all the fishies?

Ow! - Ow! - Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Piranha! Piranha!

(Grunts)

Come on. The snake talisman was part of the drawing.

Right over...

Here?

Oh, it's gone!

Destroyed!

The dark hand? No.

They were too preoccupied.

Then who?

And thus just the artifacts has the exclusive scoop

on this infamous snake talisman, whatever that is.

You do think everyone was fighting

over the chalk drawing, don't you?

Uh, maybe we should ask an archeologist.

I am - an a rcheologist.

Oh, right. Destroying 4,000-year-old drawings, yeah.

That's what archaeologists do.

Pipe down, you.

Oh...

(Cell phone rings) Hello?

Jackie, did you find the snake talisman?

No, uncle.

There was only a big empty cave

with a drawing of the snake talisman.

And a ton of bats.

Wha? You are not supposed to be in a cave of bats.

You are supposed to be in the temple of snakes,

guarded by one very big snake.

Well, there was no big snake and no temple.

And now there is no drawing.

Well, we can always see it on rank's show.

Or we can find rank now and get a sneak preview.

Uh, no big v. - We haven't spotted chan yet.

In fact, we're still at the airport.

A mix-up with the bags.

Yeah, I told tohru we should just do carry on, but, hey, whatcha gonna do?

Yoop!

(Gasping) Hang on.

T-monster wants ya.

Rest assured, master. We will find your talisman.

And I will break Jackie chan.

Time to tuck you in.

(Snoring)

We're in the middle of nowhere.

What are we going to view it on?

Tch. They do a TV show.

Bwaa!

Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.

Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.

Heh. Sorry.

Here you go. The talisman. See?

Yes. But what does it mean?

Aw, crikey!

Sorry we didn't rewind. Thank you.

I had the weirdest dream--

a bird that chirp like a car alarm.

That was no dream. That was thieves!

Dahh--ahh...My tape.

Wait, they went to all this trouble, and didn't take it.

Perhaps there's more to this drawing than the drawing itself.

Ooh, that's deep.

Zip it, you.

Why does the snake bite its own tail?

Maybe it can't see what it's eating

because it's got a talisman stuck in its eye.

The snake biting its tail symbolizes the circle of life.

The end is in the beginning!

The drawing was a map, telling us

that the talisman is at the cave where we began.

In the eye of the snake?

Could be dangerous.

You're going back to the hotel.

Oh...

Hi, Jackie.

Jade, stop following me.

I got here first. Technically, you followed me.

(Sighs)

Don't bother. I checked everything.

No sign of a temple or a talisman.

Whoa. Score one for the jackster.

The temple of culebra gigante.

Right under our noses.

More like right above our heads.

Snake eye.

See Jackie? Nothing to worry about.

The snake's not even real.

Wait here.

Yeah, yeah.

(Grunting)

(Sighs) Huh?

A snake!

Ahh! Ah!

Jackie, they're all snakes!

Bad snake, bad snake, bad snake. Yaa.

Uhh!

Uhh. Ahh...

(Sighs)

Jackie, you scaled it!

Er, so to speak.

(Grunts)

Oh! Ohh!

I got it. I got it!

How wrong you are, little lady.

Eh, you there, camera guy.

Roll film, quickly.

Welcome, I'm Wesley rank,

and you're watching just the artifacts

at the legendary once lost temple of culebra gigante.

I have just braved a treacherous climb

to the temple's harrowing heights to bring you this...

The snake talisman.

Liar! Liar! Liar!

Ow! That hurt!

Edit that out.

Where did this mysterious talisman come from?

Why was it here?

And what is that awful racket?

Aah! Aah! - Aah!

Jade!

Aah! Aah! - Aah!

Yaaa!

Everything all right?

Maybe a sprain.

I meant the camera!

Now, point it at that exit.

Let's wrap this up.

Ohh! Uh...

Ohh...

Jackie, are you ok?

Oh, I will be

after a week in traction.

And with this phenomenal find firmly in hand,

this is Wesley rank bidding you farewell

till next time on just the artifacts.

Daah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Let me guess. Edit that out?

Seor gigante, I presume?

Oh! Why's he looking at me?

Because it is the guardian of the temple,

and you have the talisman.

Yaaa!

I don't want it.

Here!

Careful, Jackie. It's thropwing a hissy!

I get it. It can't bite us up here.

It can't bite you up there!

Whoaa!

Uhh! Oh! Oh!

Ohh...

Jackie! Use the talisman!

We don't know what power it has, too dangerous.

Tch, like jumbo the snake's not?

Crikey! I didn't tell you to film that!

Hello... I'm blinding it.

Snakes don't have eyelids.

Aaah!

Jackie, climb up!

Me first. Me first.

You next.

Doesn't want me, man.

Hyah!

Uhh!

Throw me the vine.

Throw me the talisman.

Thank you.

The vine!

Nice guy.

(Growls)

Come on! Come on!

The network's gonna love this.

Aah!

(Nervous mumbling)

(Panting)

Sleazo took off with the talisman.

(Humming) Get out of here, on my way--

the talisman.

Yaa! - Yaa! Yaa!

No sign of the flying monkeys.

Rats with wings.

I'll take the bats.

(Grunting)

Heh. It's all yours, mate.

Uh-oh.

Aah!

Oh...

Uh-oh. - Uh-oh.

Jade! Go! Go! Go!

Ooff! - Oof!

Why are you still here?

Uh, camera guy was right. I'm a jerk.

I couldn't leave without apologizing--

not now!

Run!

Aaaah!

Aah! Aah! - Aah!

Oh-ohh...

Gotcha. - Aah!

Aah! Aah! - Aah!

Waaah!

(Coughing)

Waaah!

Incoming!

Belly flop!

Ow! Ow! Piranha!

Oh. I hate piranha. Ow. Ow.

(Sighs) Adios, culebra.

The only snake I ever want to see after this is the snake talisman.

Huh? It's gone!

Rank.

What a snake!

Welcome. I'm Wesley rank,

and you're watching just the artifacts

at the legendary once lost temple of culebra gigante.

I have just braved a treacherous climb

to the temple's harrowing heights to bring you this...

The snake talisman.

I'm on TV!

Rank didn't edit that out?

Liar! Liar! Liar!

Ow! That hurt.

Aah! Aah! Aah! (Sobbing)

Welcome to a special edition of just the artifacts.

Wesley rank may not know how to treat little girls,

but he sure knows how to scream like one.

Ha ha ha ha. I'm dino stefanson,

and I'll be your new guide.

Go, camera guy.

Look!

You'll also get the full scoop

on how we recovered this rare snake talisman

from a local pawn shop rank sold it to.

We, of course, donated the artifact to the New York museum.

(Sigh) After what we've been through,

getting the talisman from the museum should be a snap.

We're off to the jungle.

New York, the concrete jungle. Duh.

Man: Hey, Jackie. - Yes.

Have you ever worked with any dangerous animals?

Lion. Lion. Yes. In Africa.

Small--small lion.

I picked up the lion, hi, hi, hi.

But the native, the small-- the native, aah! Aah! Aah!

I said, what? What?

But the mom come behind me.

Then I run, climb up to the tree.

The lion, grr, grr, grr!

Almost touch my feet.

Remember, lion can climb up to the tree.