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This film was made with the financial
contribution of Republic of Turkey,
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Ministry of Culture and Tourism,
General Directorate of Cinema
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When I started to realize the world...
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You first have to recognize
prevailing conditions around you,
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and then be forced to accept them.
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When I started to understand
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what my mother has been gone through,
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I realized
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that she has gone through a destroying disaster,
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that she had survived as the only one,
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and that it was a special grace,
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that she brought us into existence.
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It seems that we too we have
locked the past - maybe unconsciously.
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Unburied in the past
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Mountain... Mountains all around.
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And in between a small farmland.
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There are only three houses.
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I remember three houses.
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Our own home,
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a huge one, and a barn in the backyard.
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In the barn the animals were laying and sleeping.
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And we stayed here, in front ofthe burning stove
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- you know those stove cooker -
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It was burning and we were sitting around.
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I remember nothing else we had then.
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I had a little sister, who couldn't
yet walk and an elder brother.
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Now it is a larger place, isn't it?
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My dad sits on the bed, he stares.
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Now I see his face like in a mirror,
young and beautiful.
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But I don't remember my mother': face.
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Strange, isn't it!
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To describe my mother is very difficult.
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She has a very sofl character,
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an always smiling face,
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is very willing to laugh in a cheerful ambiance.
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No matter to whom she's talking
she says frankly whatever she likes,
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And she always claimed her rights.
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I remember that she cried a lot
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and she felt like
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she had to endure all the pains in the world.
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She was hitting her had against the walls
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saying “what an unfortunate fate I have”,
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“l only endure this life for you”,
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“l have no place to go!” she said.
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Tunceli Operation
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How do I remember that event?
It was as if I was asleep?
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I found myself suddenly in the middle ofa crowd.
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“Let”: go, let': go!” they said, I didn't
understand what was going on.
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From where did come up such a crowd?
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They came and arrested us too.
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My mom, my dad, my older brother, my sibling and me...
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How many are we? Six, right? Five or six?
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People walked away escorted,
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by soldiers in arms behind and beside them.
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It was pretty crowded. And behind came the cattle.
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I assume that they told them
“you go and the animals will follow.”
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They deceived them.
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They took us away and we
walked the whole day through till the evening.
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We arrived at the place, where we should be killed.
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There sat men and women separately.
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And I was in the middle. My dad was
apart while my mom was over there.
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The mothers sat with their children in that place.
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It seemed like they had decided,
where they would kill them all.
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The women, the children...
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There were many women but not many children.
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The children in the arms ofthe mothers.
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They sat so still, so calm, waiting for their fate.
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They didn't understand what would happen.
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No one spoke a word.
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They did not give anything. No food.
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I did not understand what kind of people they were.
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No one revolted saying
“Give us some food, we are hungry.”
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No one did. Nothing happened.
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And then it got dark, a rattle started.
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I saw that four machine-guns were arranged.
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On tripod. Tak tak tak...
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You know machine-guns.
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The lay down behind them and
put the cartridge on the rock.
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I saw it, oh my god!
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Ijust couldn't believe that they would be killed.
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The children died with their mothers.
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They killed whoever was walking around.
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They did not leave anyone behind.
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Years later, when this Dersim
massacre was brought to the agenda,
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I got really sad. When I was
a child, I did not understand it.
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I don't know how it happened.
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I don't blame anyone. Theyjust did it...
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They threw out the baby with the bathwater.
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What crime did we commit?
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My father would just go and cultivate the land.
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I did not see any criminal act.
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I don't know why they did it.
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The Prime Minister ismet intinii
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“Our duty is to transform everyone,
who lives on Turkish ground,
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into a genuine Turk.
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We will cut off and throw away
all elements which oppose Turkism.
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The people, we are looking for
above all to serve this country,
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are Turks
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with Turkish virtues.”
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Newspapers Vakit, 27 April 1925
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A troop commander came from Konya
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and he said,
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“Friends! There are three
types oftraitors in this world,
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Do you know who?” How are we supposed to know them?
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“One is the mouse, the other one the wolf,
one is the pig the other one the Kurd.”
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These are the four traitors.
Heard it from that commander.
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In the light ofthe falwa ofthe
sheikh al-lslam Ebussuud Effendi
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Turkish life in the sixteenth-century
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Question:
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ls it allowed to kill “Redheads” (name for Alevis)
according to the law of Sharia?
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00:11:11,466 --> 00:11:13,582
If it is, would their murderers be heroes of war,
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the ones killed by a "Redhead" (Alevi) martyrs?
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Answer: Yes, it is.
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The war against the "Redhead" (Alevi)
is the holy war and it is great martyrdom.
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The "Redhead" (Alevi) are both rebels
and giaours (not believing non-Muslims).
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00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,803
One day the Captain did a speech like this:
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“Comrades! Do you know where we are heading to?
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There is an ulcer in our body
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We are going to cut out this ulcer.
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They are the whole “Redheads” (Alevi), you know that?”
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00:11:45,397 --> 00:11:48,310
Fevzi Qakmak Commander in chief
ofthe Turkish armed Forces
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“Dersim should be taken as a colony;
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the Kurdish element should be
deleted from the Turkish community.
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This must be followed
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with a gradual subordination
under a genuine Turkish law.”
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1931
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Trabzon, Ataturk House
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“The military strategy sketches ofthe war against
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the rebellion in Dersim were drawn
by Atatilrk himself.” June 1937
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They asked us why we would go to Dersim?
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They said “We will go to war. For what else?”
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To kill men. Do you know how many people we killed?
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The Prime Minister Celal Bayar
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Soon, our army will start
campaign in the Dersim region.
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00:12:41,867 --> 00:12:45,906
To this end, the army will
get the order to march for Dersim
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and with a general operation of rake
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supported of disciplinary forces
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bring this affair to a final solution.
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30 June 1938
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We went to the villages.
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It was told they haven't got reasonable yet.
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They did not deliver their guns, did not surrender.
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We removed them out oftheir houses
and made them walk before us.
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We recruited thirty seven people.
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We made them walk.
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00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,745
There was the Kutu River, a large stream.
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00:13:28,153 --> 00:13:32,431
There they have arranged the
machine-guns waiting in the rifle range.
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We took them away to the Kutu River,
made us wait at the back,
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and gave the order to fire.
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37 people sent such a prayer to the heaven
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that the earth resounded.
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They burned the people that they killed.
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They put the dead in order by putting the timber
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upon their bodies.
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00:13:52,784 --> 00:13:56,982
And lit the fire. They buried all the corpses.
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00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:00,979
Hulusi Yahyagil Colonel in the Dersim campaign
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They charged us to prevent and put down the revolt.
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00:14:08,027 --> 00:14:09,665
What they called as revolt was the fact
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that some ofthe villagers did
not pay their taxes that year.
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The issue was indeed simple.
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00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:20,979
But they exaggerated it and generalized it.
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00:14:21,505 --> 00:14:24,418
The only order we got consists of a single word:
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Annihilation.
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Not a single living human being would be lefl behind,
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no young, no old, no child nor women...
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00:14:32,528 --> 00:14:36,089
Although the majority ofthe settlers
in the campaign area were heretics,
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they nevertheless were our compatriots.
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No man was lefl behind, all ofthem died in Dersim.
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Many died. How am I supposed to knowthe number?
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How many... that': how it was!
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12 August-1938, Dersim:
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In the outer Poker mountains,
opposite to the Demirhan cave.
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00:15:09,147 --> 00:15:13,266
We were 21 people and stayed two days.
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The river behind us is the Munzur.
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It carried Kurdish carcass for days.
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Here I sit in the dark for awhile.
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00:15:32,897 --> 00:15:38,859
Behind the bush, a soldier cleans his gun.
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00:15:39,014 --> 00:15:41,210
I wonder if he did not see me
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because it was not brushwood.
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00:15:43,659 --> 00:15:47,573
Maybe he saw but acted like he did not.
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00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:53,657
Then it became all dark. I leflthe
place and saw that no one is there.
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I know where my father was, I run and went up to him.
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00:15:57,653 --> 00:16:01,453
What a devil I was. I run to him.
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00:16:01,717 --> 00:16:04,118
I saw that my dad was laying
but my older brother was standing.
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00:16:04,322 --> 00:16:08,156
They were both wounded but my dad was worse.
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00:16:08,548 --> 00:16:12,792
He took out a purse and gave it to a boy. A young boy...
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00:16:13,275 --> 00:16:15,949
“You will take care of my children” he said.
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00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:21,378
“Now go away!” We should have joined him but he disappeared.
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00:16:21,868 --> 00:16:25,111
Was the moon shining? The river flowed by.
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00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:29,744
The huge Munzur River flows and flows away.
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00:16:30,205 --> 00:16:31,764
Me and brother, we are walking.
192
00:16:31,853 --> 00:16:36,051
At night, we climbed over the mountains,
lefl and went away till dawn.
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00:16:36,479 --> 00:16:37,594
We walked and walked.
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00:16:37,684 --> 00:16:39,846
We climbed over those two mountains.
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00:16:39,869 --> 00:16:43,305
We climbed one hill and then saw another one.
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00:16:43,665 --> 00:16:48,102
We went down and on again.
How far away had they brought us?
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00:17:03,286 --> 00:17:04,959
My older brother is wounded
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00:17:05,294 --> 00:17:09,333
but he keeps walking. I don't
understand how, I am just a child.
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00:17:09,641 --> 00:17:11,643
He walks by my side without speaking any word.
200
00:17:11,794 --> 00:17:16,118
We came near to our house, had just a few steps lefl
201
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,756
my brother disappeared, I don't know how.
202
00:17:19,065 --> 00:17:21,784
Probably he fell and died.
203
00:17:22,283 --> 00:17:24,479
I only know that he was wounded.
204
00:17:24,622 --> 00:17:31,904
He was smelling blood.
Oh, I still have that smell on my nose.
205
00:17:32,544 --> 00:17:34,103
It': a very bad smell. A very bad smell.
206
00:17:34,832 --> 00:17:40,191
And it': very hot. What happens to the smell in hot?
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00:17:41,255 --> 00:17:44,532
I will never forget that smell.
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00:17:47,261 --> 00:17:50,538
Poor people... They really have gone.
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00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:54,118
What can we do? It': the fate.
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00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:02,898
My mom as well as my dad
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00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:08,119
have given the impression
that the past has totally gone.
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00:18:08,802 --> 00:18:17,893
I never dreamt that my mom would
have her own mother, father or siblings.
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00:18:18,523 --> 00:18:24,963
The time was twilight for me and for my brother.
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00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:29,947
To the Ministry of Internal Affairs;
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00:18:30,654 --> 00:18:33,009
From Regiment Commander ofAir Forces,
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00:18:33,085 --> 00:18:38,603
Fire and National Defence department,
I have asked for blister and choking gases.
217
00:18:38,937 --> 00:18:41,816
30 March 1937
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00:18:42,179 --> 00:18:46,776
Abdullah Alpdogan, Fourth Inspector General
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00:18:52,996 --> 00:18:54,270
I have to mention Inspector
220
00:18:54,374 --> 00:18:56,411
General Abdullah Alpdogan': statement
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00:18:56,530 --> 00:19:01,730
while he was inaugurating Elaziz toxic gas course
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00:19:02,092 --> 00:19:08,259
Latif Erenel, Newspaper Tan, 5 August 1937
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00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:23,120
They took shelter in the caves.
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00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:26,046
The army threw poison gas into
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00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:30,705
the entrance ofthe caves.
They poisoned them like mice.
226
00:19:31,255 --> 00:19:35,931
And they slaughtered the Kurdish people
of Dersim from the age seven to seventeen.
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00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:43,126
It has been a bloody operation.
The Dersim case is over.
228
00:19:43,301 --> 00:19:47,135
The authority ofthe government has
been established in the villages and in Dersim.
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00:19:47,466 --> 00:19:49,503
That': all about Dersim.
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00:19:52,244 --> 00:19:57,887
Children of Mameki - 20 August 1939
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Five hundred or six hundred people
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00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:06,804
were killed by using machine-guns.
233
00:20:06,896 --> 00:20:08,773
They threw the bodies to the Hargik River.
234
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,925
Five hundred meters ofthe
Hargik River flowed away red as blood.
235
00:20:13,466 --> 00:20:17,141
They made them sit altogether.
236
00:20:17,208 --> 00:20:21,088
The machine-gun went crazy: glr glr glr...
237
00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:25,125
Glr glr glr. All were massacred.
238
00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:33,476
There is a path ahead when you go to Tilllilk.
239
00:20:33,682 --> 00:20:35,719
Maybe the place has changed now.
240
00:20:36,237 --> 00:20:39,070
A steep path. I stayed there.
241
00:20:39,885 --> 00:20:43,287
All of a sudden soldiers picked
me up and put me in atent.
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00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,592
There were two soldiers,
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00:20:45,698 --> 00:20:47,371
with arms in their hands like this.
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00:20:47,604 --> 00:20:51,086
I embraced one': leg and cried: “Please don't kill me”
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“Don't kill me.”
246
00:20:52,995 --> 00:20:56,431
Maybe they asked me some
questions but I did not understand.
247
00:20:57,167 --> 00:21:01,001
I spoke in Kurdish obviously, what do I know.
248
00:21:01,229 --> 00:21:03,027
I didn't speak Turkish.
249
00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:08,184
They gave me nothing.
I looked for some bread, a slight piece.
250
00:21:08,445 --> 00:21:12,848
The bread they gave to
the soldiers was very white then.
251
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:15,400
I was picked up some crumb and eat them.
252
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,240
But they brought me to that place again.
253
00:21:18,562 --> 00:21:20,473
It means they had an order.
254
00:21:20,594 --> 00:21:23,837
Soldiers are not authorized to kill.
255
00:21:24,008 --> 00:21:27,842
Probably they waited for the order from the commander.
256
00:21:28,045 --> 00:21:31,128
So they brought me to that place again.
257
00:21:42,647 --> 00:21:44,763
Tunceli had to be cleaned up.
258
00:21:45,288 --> 00:21:49,850
Do you know if we lost so many soldiers
when the cleaning operation was done?
259
00:21:50,247 --> 00:21:51,681
Did you hear something about that?
260
00:21:51,789 --> 00:21:55,350
I really don't think so.
261
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,400
Our troops had not many losses?
262
00:21:57,463 --> 00:21:58,624
No, there have not.
263
00:21:58,819 --> 00:22:01,732
Was there any close combat? - No, no, no!
264
00:22:02,471 --> 00:22:04,826
No one was fighting back.
265
00:22:05,463 --> 00:22:08,706
There has been only a few cases but not important.
266
00:22:08,967 --> 00:22:11,322
İn this village or on that path.
267
00:22:11,951 --> 00:22:14,784
Some insignificant raid happened sometimes.
268
00:22:15,148 --> 00:22:17,150
Did they make any robbery?
269
00:22:17,469 --> 00:22:18,197
Raid, robbery...
270
00:22:18,281 --> 00:22:19,555
Something against the law. Yes they were doing that.
271
00:22:19,615 --> 00:22:21,936
Otherwise they don't have an
affair with the government.
272
00:22:21,999 --> 00:22:23,478
No, they don't.
273
00:22:27,498 --> 00:22:29,978
Sabiha Gtikgen, Pilot in the war
274
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,838
Adopted daughter of Kemal Atatilrk
275
00:22:35,123 --> 00:22:37,922
My flights to Dersim have always been more exiting.
276
00:22:38,685 --> 00:22:42,485
I flied to the region a couple oftimes
as a pilot but mostly as an observer.
277
00:22:43,717 --> 00:22:45,390
In such situations,
278
00:22:45,576 --> 00:22:48,580
you feel the excitement of war as an observer.
279
00:22:49,639 --> 00:22:51,880
First you drop the bombs
280
00:22:52,311 --> 00:22:55,667
and when it': over, if you see any human target,
281
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,922
you would use machine-gun.
282
00:22:58,893 --> 00:23:01,646
I can never forget the excitement
ofthe first bombardment of Dersim.
283
00:23:02,128 --> 00:23:06,486
We heard the rebel community near
Kegziseken and moved forward as a group.
284
00:23:07,581 --> 00:23:11,586
I threw fiRy-kilos of bombs on the
people who were running away in a group.
285
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:13,855
I saw the hit with my own eyes
286
00:23:14,635 --> 00:23:18,276
and on our way back from our mission,
we had some excmng moments.
287
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:21,948
When you are bombing human targets during the combat,
288
00:23:22,081 --> 00:23:24,197
you don't feel any mercy.
289
00:23:25,206 --> 00:23:29,086
You only think to search and shoot
in order to accomplish your mission.
290
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,463
We got the order to shoot anything alive.
291
00:23:35,292 --> 00:23:38,569
We even hit the goats,
which were the food ofthe rebels.
292
00:23:43,275 --> 00:23:46,074
Have you heard something on how many people died?
293
00:23:46,182 --> 00:23:48,458
How many people lost their lives here?
294
00:23:48,612 --> 00:23:49,261
I don't know.
295
00:23:49,338 --> 00:23:50,658
You did not hear anything?
296
00:23:51,307 --> 00:23:52,980
Do you have any assumptions?
297
00:23:53,089 --> 00:23:54,329
I can't.
298
00:24:34,502 --> 00:24:36,459
To decide for annihilation
299
00:24:37,150 --> 00:24:39,266
and while doing that,
300
00:24:39,439 --> 00:24:43,637
“we need to clean this up no matter how we do”
301
00:24:44,267 --> 00:24:46,861
or “Where you plane splinters fall”...
302
00:24:47,338 --> 00:24:49,340
but how necessary planning ever was,
303
00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:51,120
splinters fell too much.
304
00:24:52,009 --> 00:24:55,286
It was an insane action.
305
00:24:59,783 --> 00:25:03,617
How can a child playing on the meadow near Munzur
306
00:25:03,697 --> 00:25:09,534
have been taken to be slaughtered the next day?
307
00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:15,705
This, I can never understand.
308
00:25:20,095 --> 00:25:22,006
While I was straying around,
309
00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:23,999
a soldier came and adopted me.
310
00:25:24,408 --> 00:25:27,366
I was straying in the street, aware of nothing.
311
00:25:27,704 --> 00:25:30,503
I was walking around with
bread in my hand and he took me.
312
00:25:30,845 --> 00:25:32,119
He was a lieutenant then.
313
00:25:32,494 --> 00:25:34,246
“My father” came and said...
314
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:36,570
- I call “father.” because he has become my father.-
315
00:25:37,028 --> 00:25:40,271
“You will call me dad now.”
He sald, such a mce person.
316
00:25:40,658 --> 00:25:41,932
He said to his wife, “Sabiha,
317
00:25:41,997 --> 00:25:46,878
there is little girl walking around here,
very little. Should we adopt her?”
318
00:25:47,456 --> 00:25:49,458
They had their own baby, three months old.
319
00:25:50,025 --> 00:25:51,299
They adopted me, you see.
320
00:25:51,338 --> 00:25:53,898
I was all in dirt and I was infested with lice.
321
00:25:53,963 --> 00:25:57,558
My hair was curly, just like my daughter.
322
00:25:57,948 --> 00:26:00,781
They cut my hair, cleaned it and washed it.
323
00:26:00,885 --> 00:26:06,449
We stayed there for a while. Then we came to Tunceli.
324
00:26:07,153 --> 00:26:10,032
Maybe you have seen those houses in Tunceli.
325
00:26:10,433 --> 00:26:12,595
We have stayed in one ofthose houses.
326
00:26:13,847 --> 00:26:17,886
We stayed in Tunceli about one year.
327
00:26:28,050 --> 00:26:30,644
There I went to school. I went to the first class.
328
00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:34,536
I went to school for one year.
329
00:26:44,245 --> 00:26:45,918
When “my mother” went to see
330
00:26:46,167 --> 00:26:47,601
if any wounded people were coming to town,
331
00:26:47,869 --> 00:26:52,272
My father was at the front, they lefl the baby with me.
332
00:26:52,901 --> 00:26:55,541
We were both children and we were playing.
333
00:26:55,987 --> 00:26:57,227
My sibling was very little.
334
00:26:57,323 --> 00:26:58,722
I made the baby fall.
335
00:26:59,110 --> 00:27:02,705
”My mother” came. She had put the baby to the hammock.
336
00:27:03,339 --> 00:27:04,306
The baby fell asleep.
337
00:27:04,511 --> 00:27:06,912
She grabbed me and said, “Look, what have you done.”
338
00:27:07,041 --> 00:27:09,874
Even at this time, she did not slap me.
339
00:27:10,823 --> 00:27:15,340
”My father” was always going to control the revolts.
340
00:27:19,849 --> 00:27:23,171
The grandpa was never talking within the family,
341
00:27:23,254 --> 00:27:25,416
not only on these issues.
342
00:27:27,184 --> 00:27:31,508
I don't know how many orders
he gave for military operations
343
00:27:31,575 --> 00:27:35,216
which caused many people to die
344
00:27:36,333 --> 00:27:40,816
and how many soldiers he ordered
to “install the machine-guns.”
345
00:27:42,043 --> 00:27:43,522
I wonder ifthere are
346
00:27:43,635 --> 00:27:48,152
any contradictions or sorrow behind his silence.
347
00:27:51,043 --> 00:27:57,642
Do not open the old wounds and don't make me talk.
348
00:27:58,817 --> 00:27:59,978
Don't make me cry.
349
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,036
I am old, 108 years old. Do you understand?
350
00:28:05,293 --> 00:28:06,294
They may have been right.
351
00:28:06,495 --> 00:28:08,213
Your opinion?
352
00:28:08,591 --> 00:28:13,313
- So you think that they were right.
353
00:28:13,724 --> 00:28:14,964
Of course
354
00:28:15,011 --> 00:28:17,127
We owe you an apology to these citizens.
355
00:28:17,965 --> 00:28:19,922
I could have shot and hitthe target;
356
00:28:20,012 --> 00:28:25,849
but I didn't have the heart to do that, I would cry.
357
00:28:27,114 --> 00:28:32,792
Like in the song: My bride has dressed in red...
358
00:28:41,090 --> 00:28:44,811
This body has seen a lot and witnessed many things.
359
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:53,621
You mean we have done wrong doing such a cleaning?
360
00:28:53,699 --> 00:28:55,781
Yes, of course.
361
00:28:56,372 --> 00:28:59,046
They threw the baby out with the bathwater.
362
00:29:00,950 --> 00:29:03,703
What they did is painful,
363
00:29:04,211 --> 00:29:08,296
like a red pepper. It makes you cry.
364
00:29:08,820 --> 00:29:11,414
It was inhuman.
365
00:29:13,249 --> 00:29:18,085
It was inhuman, was not necessary.
366
00:29:44,146 --> 00:29:45,466
We came to Istanbul.
367
00:29:45,631 --> 00:29:48,953
They went to Uzunktipril where there was a war.
368
00:29:49,461 --> 00:29:53,546
“My mother” lefl me to his brother': house.
369
00:29:53,632 --> 00:29:54,633
A big house.
370
00:29:55,008 --> 00:29:58,126
I was cleaning the entire house up to the front door.
371
00:29:58,577 --> 00:30:00,693
Then I would go to the school.
372
00:30:01,031 --> 00:30:03,227
No one gave me even five cents.
373
00:30:03,460 --> 00:30:08,261
I saw that everyone but me at
the school bought something to eat.
374
00:30:08,677 --> 00:30:10,315
I told “my mother.”
375
00:30:10,414 --> 00:30:15,773
I have stolen five pennies from
your father': pocket many times.
376
00:30:16,609 --> 00:30:20,443
I went to Malkara. I stayed with “my mothefls.”
377
00:30:20,953 --> 00:30:24,275
Then she gave birth to this girl. I lefl and came back.
378
00:30:24,429 --> 00:30:28,150
Then I returned to Istanbul again. I don't know why.
379
00:30:28,325 --> 00:30:29,440
I got sick
380
00:30:29,875 --> 00:30:33,709
and stayed sick for a while, in the room upstairs.
381
00:30:34,296 --> 00:30:37,209
They did not even call a doctor. I don't know why.
382
00:30:37,508 --> 00:30:41,786
I lost all my hair. What disease
is this if you loose your hair?
383
00:30:42,234 --> 00:30:44,953
They did not call a doctor;
they did not take care of me.
384
00:30:45,452 --> 00:30:48,126
Then I lied by myself.
385
00:30:48,476 --> 00:30:52,071
I got better but I did not have any hair.
386
00:30:52,148 --> 00:30:53,627
They would marry me.
387
00:30:53,897 --> 00:30:56,537
Then the guy showed up but I had no hair.
388
00:30:56,781 --> 00:31:03,062
I putthe hairs that I previously
collected at the back of my head.
389
00:31:03,484 --> 00:31:04,918
We got engaged.
390
00:31:06,054 --> 00:31:08,455
Then “my mother” gave birth to twins.
391
00:31:08,835 --> 00:31:12,510
I went to their place to help her a bit.
392
00:31:12,929 --> 00:31:15,364
I stayed there for one year, being en gaged.
393
00:31:16,101 --> 00:31:20,777
Excuse me for what I say
but “my mother” tied my breasts.
394
00:31:21,203 --> 00:31:25,288
They were, forgive me, they were a little big.
395
00:31:25,609 --> 00:31:27,850
She tied them with the sheet
in order to prevent them to shake
396
00:31:28,094 --> 00:31:30,734
so that the soldiers would not...
397
00:31:31,031 --> 00:31:34,911
She looked afler me like this among the military.
398
00:31:35,303 --> 00:31:38,785
I heard that many girls went astray.
399
00:31:40,008 --> 00:31:42,522
They set them free. We were within the soldiers.
400
00:31:42,849 --> 00:31:49,937
We had our equerry. We were in the military facility.
401
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,518
And some looked me in a different manner.
402
00:31:52,992 --> 00:31:55,552
There were many soldiers around me
403
00:31:55,660 --> 00:31:59,460
But I was not that kind of person.
Plus, they protected me.
404
00:32:17,094 --> 00:32:18,289
I tried to look at
405
00:32:18,348 --> 00:32:22,433
the damage ofthis incident on
my beloved mother named Emo§ Gillver
406
00:32:22,755 --> 00:32:24,917
from every angle.
407
00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:30,035
I appreciate them for saving her
life and for taking care of her.
408
00:32:30,998 --> 00:32:33,194
But I wish that they did more afler that
409
00:32:33,372 --> 00:32:36,490
so that it would mean something.
410
00:32:37,607 --> 00:32:40,884
We were like rowboats at the back of a yacht.
411
00:32:41,247 --> 00:32:42,681
Me and my brother
412
00:32:43,362 --> 00:32:46,684
as the children ofthis step daughter
413
00:32:47,207 --> 00:32:49,608
and we saw it nothing different than being an orphan.
414
00:32:49,996 --> 00:32:51,998
From every angle.
415
00:33:00,691 --> 00:33:02,728
The stepmother of “mom”
416
00:33:03,222 --> 00:33:06,658
was working at the public railway transport,
417
00:33:07,769 --> 00:33:09,123
as a laborer.
418
00:33:09,885 --> 00:33:12,240
My future husband was there. They told him that
419
00:33:12,308 --> 00:33:15,903
“There is a girl over there; let': marry you to her.”
420
00:33:16,261 --> 00:33:18,582
He was fifleen years older than me.
421
00:33:19,011 --> 00:33:23,255
Seems I was leflto be sold in the clearance sale.
422
00:33:24,808 --> 00:33:27,641
When I married, “my parents” were not even there.
423
00:33:27,873 --> 00:33:29,352
His step mother was there.
424
00:33:29,566 --> 00:33:31,682
They did not prepare me a dowry, even a quilt.
425
00:33:31,834 --> 00:33:33,108
I still don't get it.
426
00:33:33,969 --> 00:33:38,167
They hurriedly made me marry and I lefl.
427
00:33:38,438 --> 00:33:39,519
The man that I married
428
00:33:39,613 --> 00:33:41,206
was working at the railway.
429
00:33:41,542 --> 00:33:43,738
He did not have any fortune.
430
00:33:44,845 --> 00:33:49,203
He had an uncle. They were from Erzurum.
431
00:33:49,972 --> 00:33:52,327
He was retired from the railway, a chief.
432
00:33:52,771 --> 00:33:54,933
He took me to his house.
433
00:33:55,113 --> 00:33:56,990
We had no home, no money.
434
00:33:57,152 --> 00:33:58,313
What kind of marriage was it?
435
00:33:58,449 --> 00:34:01,851
I was ignorant, I did not know anything.
436
00:34:02,425 --> 00:34:05,304
My lieutenant “father” was appointed to Erzurum.
437
00:34:05,746 --> 00:34:08,989
We went there hoping to find ajob.
438
00:34:09,496 --> 00:34:12,010
We went, but they did not take care of us there.
439
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:14,576
They did not meddle in my life again any more.
440
00:34:14,683 --> 00:34:16,162
Everyone was in his own business.
441
00:34:16,910 --> 00:34:19,663
I needed 10 liras
442
00:34:19,885 --> 00:34:22,365
but I asked it from the equerry.
443
00:34:22,830 --> 00:34:26,346
“My mother” had an equerry.
444
00:34:26,527 --> 00:34:30,088
At the time, every officer had his own equerry.
445
00:34:30,525 --> 00:34:32,118
I asked 10 liras from this man,
446
00:34:32,291 --> 00:34:34,009
I could not ask it from them.
447
00:34:34,369 --> 00:34:36,770
Later I gave the soldier': money back.
448
00:34:37,095 --> 00:34:39,655
Misery, my dear! We suffered a lot!
449
00:34:43,441 --> 00:34:46,559
I borrowed money and came to Istanbul.
450
00:34:46,910 --> 00:34:49,629
I sold my quilt to one of my neighbour
451
00:34:49,940 --> 00:34:52,056
and had 25 liras in return.
452
00:34:52,363 --> 00:34:54,001
He came to Istanbul.
453
00:34:54,307 --> 00:34:59,029
Asking around, he found ajob as janitor in Taksim.
454
00:34:59,715 --> 00:35:01,547
We came here and he worked a lot.
455
00:35:01,972 --> 00:35:05,533
Forgive me to say, I was two-months pregnant then,
456
00:35:05,605 --> 00:35:06,959
but I was not even aware of it.
457
00:35:07,621 --> 00:35:08,782
We lived our life.
458
00:35:09,339 --> 00:35:14,857
Suffering, suffering, suffering.
I suffered all my life.
459
00:35:16,478 --> 00:35:18,879
He has beat me a lot.
460
00:35:21,189 --> 00:35:25,626
Once in a while, when he got angry,
he called me “Redhead”.
461
00:35:25,761 --> 00:35:29,117
Oh, when he got angry...
462
00:35:30,183 --> 00:35:32,823
He beat me everyday. He drank and then beat me.
463
00:35:33,362 --> 00:35:35,035
I was working then,
464
00:35:35,566 --> 00:35:38,160
he would say, give the money,
I will buy a drink and sit down.
465
00:35:38,411 --> 00:35:41,369
Is there still such kind of men around?
466
00:35:41,699 --> 00:35:43,019
Well, seems there are.
467
00:35:43,407 --> 00:35:47,969
Look at my life in a rose garden!
468
00:35:49,605 --> 00:35:54,008
I have two children I sacrificed my life for them.
469
00:35:54,410 --> 00:35:56,287
What happened? They grew up and look,
470
00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:59,757
I have two leonine children,
I have a daughter and a son.
471
00:36:00,102 --> 00:36:02,855
But I sacrificed myself for them.
472
00:36:03,437 --> 00:36:05,758
I have become an uneducated human being.
473
00:36:06,019 --> 00:36:08,977
Ifthey would have given me an education,
474
00:36:09,285 --> 00:36:12,243
my whole life would be a novel.
475
00:36:12,546 --> 00:36:14,298
They write such kinds of novels.
476
00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:18,947
I would have written a novel
of my life starting from my childhood.
477
00:36:19,222 --> 00:36:22,055
But I remained uneducated and I could not achieve anything.
478
00:36:22,871 --> 00:36:24,509
Just because I was not educated.
479
00:36:44,175 --> 00:36:46,371
Afler seventy five years,
480
00:36:46,479 --> 00:36:49,437
when my mother became eighty
481
00:36:49,815 --> 00:36:52,898
and is able to analyse
482
00:36:52,953 --> 00:36:56,036
and to talk about these incidents
483
00:36:56,096 --> 00:36:57,609
I questioned myself.
484
00:36:58,309 --> 00:36:59,470
My mother did not remember anything.
485
00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:02,589
To my father, it was a humiliating issue.
486
00:37:02,786 --> 00:37:04,504
Grandpa and Miss Sabiha
487
00:37:04,545 --> 00:37:07,947
only praised themselves for saving my mother.
488
00:37:08,262 --> 00:37:10,503
When I tried to ask a question
489
00:37:10,553 --> 00:37:12,430
on the campaign there,
490
00:37:12,867 --> 00:37:14,744
they would end the conversation.
491
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:18,681
Because there was no ambience to talk about this issue
492
00:37:19,238 --> 00:37:22,993
we were not aware of any right to question it.
493
00:37:23,125 --> 00:37:25,844
There was a potential sense of guilt.
494
00:38:05,628 --> 00:38:10,464
When I told her, that she would have
495
00:38:11,145 --> 00:38:13,261
the chance in this journey to past
496
00:38:13,366 --> 00:38:15,084
to see every place,
497
00:38:15,178 --> 00:38:17,738
that she remembers,
498
00:38:17,928 --> 00:38:21,250
she was as happy as a child listening to a fairy tale.
499
00:38:21,309 --> 00:38:22,470
It means that
500
00:38:22,587 --> 00:38:26,706
the most important issue of our lives would
501
00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:29,828
come to the agenda at the end of our life.
502
00:38:30,176 --> 00:38:34,295
I mean, from my mother': point ofview.
503
00:38:50,817 --> 00:38:52,728
If on ourjourney to Tunceli
504
00:38:52,823 --> 00:38:55,576
something would happen to us in case we got sick
505
00:38:55,870 --> 00:38:58,111
then - I know that it sounds emotional, but-
506
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,714
don't bring us back to Istanbul.
507
00:39:02,486 --> 00:39:08,129
I want us to be buried in the ground in that soil.
508
00:39:11,865 --> 00:39:14,983
I feel like my real essence belongs to that place.
509
00:39:15,427 --> 00:39:19,182
I feel like I have lived a life,
which did not belong to me.
510
00:40:09,056 --> 00:40:10,137
My older brother...
511
00:40:10,292 --> 00:40:14,331
My greatest sorrow is him.
He came with me. How did I lose him?
512
00:40:14,764 --> 00:40:18,280
How could I not protect him? I feel sorry for that.
513
00:40:26,139 --> 00:40:31,145
Every child wants to visit his parents.
514
00:40:31,257 --> 00:40:36,297
On every prayer I say a prayer for them.
515
00:40:36,379 --> 00:40:38,336
What else can I do?
516
00:40:38,699 --> 00:40:41,896
What happened to their bones?
517
00:40:41,988 --> 00:40:45,663
I could not put their bones to
a grave and visit the graveyard.
518
00:40:45,889 --> 00:40:48,847
They have become earth.
519
00:40:49,579 --> 00:40:52,901
Allah may not give anyone such kind of sorrow!
520
00:41:17,945 --> 00:41:20,949
Tilllilk (Siltlilce) Village
521
00:41:23,529 --> 00:41:26,772
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
522
00:41:27,885 --> 00:41:31,480
Welcome to your hometown, - Thank you. How are you?
523
00:41:31,595 --> 00:41:34,997
Are you from here? -I am from here.
524
00:41:35,112 --> 00:41:37,467
But I was not born in 1938 yet.
525
00:41:38,791 --> 00:41:40,748
How old are you?
526
00:41:40,850 --> 00:41:42,966
I am 72 years old.
527
00:41:43,276 --> 00:41:46,473
I will tell you what our
fathers and grandfathers told us.
528
00:41:46,721 --> 00:41:50,237
Two ofthe daughters of my father': uncle
529
00:41:50,318 --> 00:41:52,116
have been taken
530
00:41:52,243 --> 00:41:56,601
by the lieutenants from this village.
531
00:41:56,651 --> 00:41:57,095
Yes?
532
00:41:57,597 --> 00:42:00,316
Of course they have been investigated.
533
00:42:00,372 --> 00:42:01,567
Did you find them?
534
00:42:01,626 --> 00:42:04,709
We've found a trace in Bursa,
535
00:42:04,756 --> 00:42:07,316
but then we were told that they were in Mersin.
536
00:42:07,473 --> 00:42:10,113
Their brothers found one oftheir sisters,
537
00:42:10,463 --> 00:42:12,625
but could not find the other sibling.
538
00:42:12,845 --> 00:42:16,566
Here, nearly one hundred
people were thrown from the rocks.
539
00:42:17,025 --> 00:42:21,861
Others were taken to merge place of two Munzurs rivers.
540
00:42:22,112 --> 00:42:24,069
They were brought to Margik.
541
00:42:24,393 --> 00:42:26,873
You came to the lower area there.
542
00:42:27,154 --> 00:42:29,668
Once, this place was full of military tents.
543
00:42:29,979 --> 00:42:34,098
This opposite side was full oftents.
Up to the old police station...
544
00:42:34,236 --> 00:42:35,510
The police station which was burnt.
545
00:42:35,611 --> 00:42:39,491
Then, again, they evacuated the villages.
546
00:42:39,729 --> 00:42:43,404
As you can see, it': all in ruins. All broken down.
547
00:42:43,735 --> 00:42:47,330
From there, people migrated to different places.
548
00:42:47,755 --> 00:42:51,271
For example, there were at least twenty-thirty houses.
549
00:42:51,753 --> 00:42:54,188
Now you cannot find even one.
550
00:42:54,268 --> 00:42:58,512
I have not been here since 75 years. 75 years.
551
00:42:59,242 --> 00:43:02,200
When you look around, you can see a few houses.
552
00:43:02,387 --> 00:43:04,628
They are not old ones, right? -Not even one.
553
00:43:04,713 --> 00:43:07,626
I would surely guess when I have a look at mountains.
554
00:43:42,621 --> 00:43:43,861
A closed door...
555
00:43:44,891 --> 00:43:47,371
You don't know what lies behind the door.
556
00:43:47,859 --> 00:43:53,025
One option is to live your whole life without curiosity
557
00:43:53,164 --> 00:43:56,122
and the other option is to open the door.
558
00:43:56,926 --> 00:44:01,170
And behind it, there can be treasure storage
559
00:44:02,608 --> 00:44:05,885
or a storage full oftrash.
560
00:44:06,609 --> 00:44:08,247
Neither one ofthem makes you so happy,
561
00:44:08,531 --> 00:44:10,124
nor does the other one make you so sad.
562
00:44:10,219 --> 00:44:13,860
What': important in here is
to see what': behind the door
563
00:44:26,784 --> 00:44:30,982
Tilllilk (Siltlilce) Village- Vanarig: (Suvat) district
564
00:44:47,539 --> 00:44:49,177
My sweet mum and dad!
565
00:44:49,382 --> 00:44:52,579
I couldn't find you, went away
and stay behind, what can I do?
566
00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:56,513
The nature of earth: I lost my mum and dad.
567
00:44:57,354 --> 00:44:59,948
I was lefl behind. What can I do?
568
00:45:01,615 --> 00:45:05,495
I have never really experienced the love of my parents.
569
00:45:06,590 --> 00:45:09,343
I was a little child...
570
00:45:13,086 --> 00:45:15,521
They are gone, my mum and my dad...
571
00:45:28,835 --> 00:45:31,190
There we had a large gate
572
00:45:31,584 --> 00:45:33,336
Wooden but large.
573
00:45:33,746 --> 00:45:35,828
We came in and went out through this door.
574
00:45:36,123 --> 00:45:38,922
It': that way where my mum and dad slept together.
575
00:45:39,170 --> 00:45:40,763
Their place was slightly high.
576
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:45,283
Me and my elder brother were sleeping on the ground.
577
00:45:45,785 --> 00:45:48,186
There was a huge stove.
578
00:45:48,701 --> 00:45:51,978
This stove illuminating us. Wood was burning.
579
00:45:52,345 --> 00:45:55,940
There were animals on this side.
580
00:45:56,099 --> 00:45:58,340
This space from here up to there
581
00:45:58,643 --> 00:46:01,396
belonged to us, was our property.
582
00:46:16,246 --> 00:46:18,522
We climbed mountains and escarpments.
583
00:46:18,879 --> 00:46:20,517
There was a road over there,
584
00:46:20,807 --> 00:46:21,968
a path.
585
00:46:22,464 --> 00:46:24,899
We turned out animals for pasture.
586
00:46:25,079 --> 00:46:26,831
We went down this way
587
00:46:26,902 --> 00:46:28,734
straight to our house.
588
00:46:33,196 --> 00:46:35,756
Thank you very much for coming here.
589
00:46:36,058 --> 00:46:39,460
Thank you. Are you living here?
590
00:46:39,594 --> 00:46:40,356
Yes, yes.
591
00:46:40,653 --> 00:46:45,011
I have heard ofyou and came quickly.
592
00:46:45,191 --> 00:46:47,751
I am the daughter ofthat Hilseyin.
593
00:46:48,214 --> 00:46:51,093
We lived here. There was a neighbor here.
594
00:46:51,238 --> 00:46:53,718
There was no neighbor - There was.
595
00:46:53,846 --> 00:46:56,087
My grandfather': family was living up there.
596
00:46:56,144 --> 00:46:58,943
There was a house over there. - There was no house!
597
00:46:58,992 --> 00:47:00,790
In my time there was one, my dear!
598
00:47:00,930 --> 00:47:04,571
I am sure. You confuse with another place.
599
00:47:04,679 --> 00:47:09,594
They all lived here in the past...
600
00:47:09,672 --> 00:47:12,949
Was before my time or afler my time here?
601
00:47:13,043 --> 00:47:16,081
Before, before, in the days.
602
00:47:16,288 --> 00:47:19,292
How long before? Before 1938?
603
00:47:19,424 --> 00:47:22,542
You mean earlier. Our time was '38.
604
00:47:22,612 --> 00:47:24,523
In this house here
605
00:47:24,581 --> 00:47:27,744
lived the Haydaran family,
606
00:47:27,995 --> 00:47:31,556
in the other one the Demenan family.
607
00:47:31,966 --> 00:47:34,082
The soldiers arrested us and brought us away.
608
00:47:34,169 --> 00:47:35,330
From this house? - Yes, from this house.
609
00:47:35,384 --> 00:47:36,624
We were arrested and deported.
610
00:47:37,208 --> 00:47:39,529
We never came back.
611
00:47:39,710 --> 00:47:42,907
Who will come back? Who has ever come back?
612
00:47:43,143 --> 00:47:46,226
They burned our houses, nobody remained...
613
00:47:46,269 --> 00:47:47,623
They've done us wrong!
614
00:47:47,890 --> 00:47:51,053
Those who survived hid themselves behind big stones.
615
00:47:51,331 --> 00:47:53,242
They were Sunni Moslems,
616
00:47:53,298 --> 00:47:56,017
otherwise they would not have been saved.
617
00:47:56,488 --> 00:47:58,809
"Islam is salvation!" That's how they have been saved.
618
00:47:59,154 --> 00:48:00,588
Nobody was lefl behind.
619
00:48:00,930 --> 00:48:03,285
They gathered all from Tilllilk
620
00:48:03,433 --> 00:48:05,185
to kill including Yusuf Agha
621
00:48:05,311 --> 00:48:07,029
ls there anyone deported from here?
622
00:48:07,107 --> 00:48:09,462
They took off all. - But there weren't too many here.
623
00:48:09,545 --> 00:48:12,298
Not here. - Maybe in another place.
624
00:48:12,394 --> 00:48:15,352
They gathered and took away all oldsters.
625
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,437
They were too many.
626
00:48:17,588 --> 00:48:21,707
We saw about 200, at least more than 100.
627
00:48:21,918 --> 00:48:24,398
They deported them all together,
628
00:48:24,558 --> 00:48:26,390
they were from Tilllilk.
629
00:48:26,777 --> 00:48:29,656
They deported the extended family of Kamer Agha...
630
00:48:29,753 --> 00:48:32,711
We came here from another place.
631
00:48:32,756 --> 00:48:35,396
You came here from Haydaran.
632
00:48:35,449 --> 00:48:38,123
The Hilseyin with my parents,
633
00:48:38,257 --> 00:48:39,816
I realized, he is from Haydaran.
634
00:48:39,873 --> 00:48:43,070
This there was the meadow of your parents!
635
00:48:43,199 --> 00:48:45,031
Where lived those from Haydaran?
636
00:48:46,896 --> 00:48:50,059
Around Vartinik, Boyer,
637
00:48:50,443 --> 00:48:54,004
the Mountain Jel, do you see?
638
00:48:54,065 --> 00:48:55,942
These are the places of Haydaran
639
00:48:56,033 --> 00:48:59,116
We came from there and passed away.
640
00:48:59,182 --> 00:49:04,143
You were little children when they deported you...
641
00:49:04,203 --> 00:49:05,284
I don't know...
642
00:50:16,515 --> 00:50:18,074
Welcome
643
00:50:19,598 --> 00:50:21,157
Are you son of my uncle?
644
00:50:21,500 --> 00:50:22,149
Yes.
645
00:50:45,195 --> 00:50:46,947
Sit down please, you're welcome...
646
00:50:46,992 --> 00:50:49,233
Have you ever seen me? - What? -
647
00:50:49,453 --> 00:50:52,047
I once came to your house.
648
00:50:52,352 --> 00:50:55,788
I remember two uncles, living next to each other.
649
00:50:56,110 --> 00:50:59,626
Do you remember? I was a little child.
650
00:50:59,687 --> 00:51:05,205
While you were a little child,
my father told about relatives there.
651
00:51:05,258 --> 00:51:08,262
'Soldier comes and will kill the people'.
652
00:51:08,461 --> 00:51:11,101
Don't stay on mountains, come here.
653
00:51:11,344 --> 00:51:15,383
In our neighborhood, there were
my father, and two of his brother.
654
00:51:16,648 --> 00:51:20,562
We lefl everything behind and
came with seven family members.
655
00:51:20,984 --> 00:51:23,225
Each of us took one cup
656
00:51:23,328 --> 00:51:24,762
and went to Pax.
657
00:51:24,859 --> 00:51:30,138
Then a massacre started, all were killed.
658
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,996
As little child I came once to your house.
659
00:51:34,257 --> 00:51:37,613
So, do you remember how many houses
660
00:51:37,820 --> 00:51:40,141
were there in our hometown, De§t?
661
00:51:40,391 --> 00:51:41,665
Do you know?
662
00:51:41,852 --> 00:51:44,048
One of my uncles were residing in one section,
663
00:51:44,289 --> 00:51:49,170
the other in the other one, widely spread... - Yes -
664
00:51:49,578 --> 00:51:51,774
Do you understand? A vast area...
665
00:51:52,070 --> 00:51:56,632
You atone end, he atthe other end.
666
00:51:56,827 --> 00:51:58,909
I saw them once and went to Tilllilk.
667
00:51:59,030 --> 00:52:01,146
We lived there for some time.
668
00:52:01,561 --> 00:52:05,361
They came and deported all of us.
669
00:52:05,780 --> 00:52:08,135
My mother, father, older brother...
670
00:52:08,617 --> 00:52:12,053
They killed them. Those were days, oh my god
671
00:52:19,724 --> 00:52:22,728
My father told your father, “Kamer,
672
00:52:22,779 --> 00:52:26,101
let': three of us go there”.
673
00:52:26,547 --> 00:52:30,586
They said “No, we will not leave our place”.
674
00:52:30,824 --> 00:52:32,542
Where would they go?
675
00:52:32,592 --> 00:52:34,788
Remember, we came
676
00:52:35,154 --> 00:52:39,716
My father said to the uncles:
“Let”: three of us go there”.
677
00:52:39,904 --> 00:52:44,262
They said “No, we will not leave our place”.
678
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,113
Yes. But then they took them away.
679
00:52:47,224 --> 00:52:52,230
Then they killed them. They shot us here.
680
00:52:53,896 --> 00:52:56,172
How could they...
681
00:52:56,568 --> 00:52:58,241
as if we were enemies...
682
00:52:58,623 --> 00:53:02,582
How come that you researched for your homeland?
683
00:53:03,208 --> 00:53:07,406
I oflen thought to come to this homeland.
684
00:53:07,646 --> 00:53:10,923
Fortunately Mr. Kazlm came out ofthe blue.
685
00:53:11,068 --> 00:53:13,389
I came and found here thanks to him.
686
00:53:13,622 --> 00:53:16,785
Otherwise, how could I do that?
687
00:53:17,756 --> 00:53:21,511
I came and found here thanks to him.
688
00:53:21,662 --> 00:53:25,986
Thank you very much! May God bless him.
689
00:53:26,053 --> 00:53:31,253
Is that right, you're son of my uncle?
690
00:53:31,982 --> 00:53:35,577
Blood drew you up here, to researcher your homeland
691
00:53:35,648 --> 00:53:37,924
whom of my dearest may I find...
692
00:53:38,396 --> 00:53:40,194
Didn't you have any other sibling?
693
00:53:40,579 --> 00:53:42,331
They killed my siblings in 1938.
694
00:53:42,390 --> 00:53:43,551
You survived.
695
00:53:43,615 --> 00:53:46,573
I was exactly 15 in 1938.
696
00:53:46,670 --> 00:53:47,478
15?
697
00:53:47,615 --> 00:53:48,616
Yes, 15.
698
00:53:48,685 --> 00:53:52,201
Don't you remember me? We came to your house.
699
00:53:52,324 --> 00:53:55,965
I remember, but maybe you were killed,
since nobody could survive...
700
00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:59,904
Do you remember that I came
to your house?- I remember-
701
00:53:59,959 --> 00:54:03,236
that your uncle Hilseyin came?
702
00:54:03,318 --> 00:54:05,912
I remember, I remember but
703
00:54:06,230 --> 00:54:09,825
in the massacre later they may have killed all.
704
00:54:09,896 --> 00:54:12,172
We could have died all, but
705
00:54:12,279 --> 00:54:15,761
God allowed, I survived.
706
00:54:16,096 --> 00:54:18,770
There was an aunt, where is she now?
707
00:54:19,021 --> 00:54:22,457
She was alive for years, she recently died.
708
00:54:23,354 --> 00:54:25,072
I forgot my aunt.
709
00:54:25,521 --> 00:54:29,116
Afler the lieutenant had adopted me,
they came to take me back.
710
00:54:29,271 --> 00:54:31,467
I didn't go. Didn't go.
711
00:54:33,208 --> 00:54:36,803
I don't know why, Child': play,
a chilled atthe age of5.
712
00:54:36,979 --> 00:54:38,981
I ran away to the lefl and right...
713
00:54:39,248 --> 00:54:41,330
You were luckyto be 15, quite old.
714
00:54:41,428 --> 00:54:43,988
When your blood is telling you something
715
00:54:44,053 --> 00:54:46,294
you will find someone.
716
00:54:47,123 --> 00:54:48,682
Find our relatives.
717
00:54:48,756 --> 00:54:51,714
Speak in Turkish. I don't understand.
718
00:54:51,787 --> 00:54:54,700
L'm speaking in Turkish. - Yes, what did you say?
719
00:54:54,928 --> 00:54:59,365
When your blood is telling you something, - Does it?-
720
00:54:59,501 --> 00:55:01,936
He becomes a relative.
721
00:55:02,033 --> 00:55:05,992
I say that you resemble your mum...
722
00:55:06,081 --> 00:55:09,642
Now, l'm speaking in Turkish, I cannot read and write.
723
00:55:09,729 --> 00:55:16,692
Okay, yeah. - In 1938, in our Haydaran -
724
00:55:17,190 --> 00:55:20,990
nobody did know Turkish. Don't blame me!
725
00:55:21,252 --> 00:55:26,088
Either I got much education, only till
the 4th class ofthe primary school.
726
00:55:26,666 --> 00:55:28,862
There was no school in our days.
727
00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:33,508
I learnt Turkish aflerwards in Kogzankog.
728
00:55:33,885 --> 00:55:38,447
In our Haydaran there have been no possibility.
729
00:55:38,678 --> 00:55:40,316
Look at the tide oftime...
730
00:56:44,598 --> 00:56:49,240
Look, the family who adopted me.
731
00:56:49,910 --> 00:56:51,150
The wife ofthe lieutenant,
732
00:56:51,251 --> 00:56:52,650
this is their child
733
00:56:52,786 --> 00:56:53,753
and this is me...
734
00:56:54,020 --> 00:56:57,661
I look grown in this photo, I was slightly younger
735
00:56:57,723 --> 00:56:59,555
in this photo I am older.
736
00:57:00,071 --> 00:57:01,744
Do I resemble my mum?
737
00:57:02,645 --> 00:57:04,363
So much, so much
738
00:57:04,478 --> 00:57:06,355
But, this is my older age!
739
00:57:06,527 --> 00:57:10,009
Yes you resemble as you get older! - Really?
740
00:57:10,143 --> 00:57:13,181
You do. You experienced orphan
hood, many sufferings...
741
00:57:13,319 --> 00:57:17,881
Yes, I stayed around, slept on the streets
742
00:57:18,079 --> 00:57:20,912
lfone has suffered
743
00:57:21,017 --> 00:57:23,850
I came back to my house but I could n't find it.
744
00:57:23,949 --> 00:57:26,748
I suffered a lot, lived in misery
745
00:57:27,043 --> 00:57:30,126
I patiently endured difficulties while growing.
746
00:57:30,416 --> 00:57:35,661
Everyone has to suffer his own fate.
747
00:57:36,057 --> 00:57:37,968
This is inevitable.
748
00:58:33,775 --> 00:58:36,608
Welcome. - l'm honored.
749
00:58:37,277 --> 00:58:40,599
Are you my aunt? Aunt
750
00:58:40,833 --> 00:58:42,790
Look, at our people Hilseyin...
751
00:58:45,466 --> 00:58:46,786
Come here. Come.
752
00:58:48,082 --> 00:58:49,914
Sit down over her, uncle.
753
00:58:54,707 --> 00:58:56,539
Welcome. - l'm honored.
754
00:58:56,597 --> 00:58:57,564
How are you?
755
00:58:57,684 --> 00:59:00,881
Thank you, fine, l'm fine. What about you?
756
00:59:01,154 --> 00:59:03,065
L'm fine as well, thank you,
757
00:59:03,199 --> 00:59:04,758
Let me kiss your hand... - Thank you.
758
00:59:04,824 --> 00:59:07,577
I lost my mum, you are my mum from now on.
759
00:59:08,012 --> 00:59:10,925
Where is your mum? Ooo, she is dead, dead.
760
00:59:11,019 --> 00:59:15,138
Six years ago...
Deepest sympathy! - Thank you!
761
00:59:16,685 --> 00:59:18,403
Right... My mother': name is Aze...
762
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:21,478
Your mum was my aunt. Was she?
763
00:59:21,529 --> 00:59:25,488
No, my mum is the daughter of your uncle.
764
00:59:25,596 --> 00:59:28,634
My parents didn't tell us anything.
765
00:59:28,978 --> 00:59:31,492
My uncle told a little bit aflerwards.
766
00:59:31,641 --> 00:59:34,520
Not to develop a grudge in the children.
- Yes, precisely.
767
00:59:34,603 --> 00:59:36,924
Look, you're educated.
768
00:59:36,993 --> 00:59:38,995
They didn't make an affair of it in order that
769
00:59:39,438 --> 00:59:41,520
they might not develop a grudge in the children.
770
00:59:41,892 --> 00:59:43,894
That's why they did not talk about!
771
00:59:50,954 --> 00:59:54,310
How much paid have we suffered...
772
00:59:56,119 --> 00:59:59,760
How many nice people don't live anymore!
773
01:00:03,856 --> 01:00:07,656
How could I find you? From where?
774
01:00:08,102 --> 01:00:10,855
I couldn't find even ifl came here; impossible.
775
01:00:11,579 --> 01:00:14,253
I don't know your name.
776
01:00:14,517 --> 01:00:20,274
I have an aunt. Your mum is daughter of my aunt.
777
01:00:20,862 --> 01:00:23,741
She went away and survived somehow.
778
01:00:23,802 --> 01:00:25,918
I know nothing about it.
779
01:00:26,791 --> 01:00:30,625
You don't know, because they didn't tell it to you.
780
01:00:31,272 --> 01:00:32,433
They took off my dad and killed him
781
01:00:32,499 --> 01:00:35,139
around Pax Police Office, do you know this?
782
01:00:35,374 --> 01:00:37,615
Just like they do it today,
783
01:00:38,293 --> 01:00:41,536
saying 'terrorists come',
and people are very much afraid.
784
01:00:41,568 --> 01:00:44,082
The village headmen went
out to say “enough is enoughl”.
785
01:00:44,878 --> 01:00:46,915
And so slaughter slightly slew down.
786
01:00:47,021 --> 01:00:48,295
All right uncle...
787
01:00:48,365 --> 01:00:55,249
Do you remember this girl, daughter of your uncle?
788
01:00:55,295 --> 01:00:57,855
Do you know her name? She was from village De§t?
789
01:00:57,929 --> 01:00:59,169
Do you remember?
790
01:00:59,312 --> 01:01:00,711
I don't remember her name, for God': sake.
791
01:01:00,776 --> 01:01:02,528
Do you remember names of her brothers?
792
01:01:02,894 --> 01:01:06,057
I remember: one was Hldlr and
the other was Seyid Ali.
793
01:01:08,351 --> 01:01:10,149
Remember now, this girl': name was Elif.
794
01:01:10,267 --> 01:01:15,626
How many brothers did you have?
- One older and one little brother;
795
01:01:15,860 --> 01:01:20,184
We were three siblings.
796
01:01:20,542 --> 01:01:22,260
Do you remember the names?
797
01:01:22,542 --> 01:01:26,217
No I don't. - The names ofyour brothers? - No!
798
01:01:26,442 --> 01:01:27,762
What was your name then?
799
01:01:28,071 --> 01:01:32,588
What was it? Emo§... No Elif.
800
01:01:32,683 --> 01:01:34,082
What': your current name?
801
01:01:34,171 --> 01:01:37,289
Now it': Emine butthe ID Card says Emo§...
802
01:01:37,484 --> 01:01:41,523
How did they call you in the village, in Tilllilk?
803
01:01:41,895 --> 01:01:46,537
He said, they called “Elif”. I didn't remember it.
804
01:01:46,937 --> 01:01:49,656
They called me “Elif”. I don't know.
805
01:01:49,746 --> 01:01:53,182
Atthe ID office, my “father”
806
01:01:53,296 --> 01:01:56,573
- I called him “father” now. - he went and
807
01:01:56,761 --> 01:02:00,402
brought my ID with De§t as birthplace.
808
01:02:00,778 --> 01:02:06,581
Surname: “Gillver”.
I asked but ln our famlly was no "Gillver".
809
01:02:06,807 --> 01:02:10,289
Which means, they invented the name “Gillver”?
810
01:02:15,985 --> 01:02:22,231
Name ofthe mother: Hatice
Name ofthe father: dead Hilseyin
811
01:02:24,405 --> 01:02:31,368
Birth registry record
of Mustafa Kagar, uncle of Emo§ Gillver
812
01:02:32,091 --> 01:02:40,340
Date ofdeath: 00.00.1938
813
01:02:45,466 --> 01:02:51,269
Date of death: alive
814
01:02:56,658 --> 01:03:00,094
I had no family... Here I found you...
815
01:03:00,300 --> 01:03:03,497
Hilseyin and you. Here we have a family.
816
01:03:52,969 --> 01:03:56,644
Before I came here, I prepared my heart and my mind
817
01:03:56,973 --> 01:04:03,015
to every feeling that a human being can feel;
818
01:04:03,348 --> 01:04:08,388
good, bad, nice, exiting, pleasing,
sorrowful and sad, stupefaction and shock.
819
01:04:09,098 --> 01:04:13,296
I tried to learn as much as possible.
820
01:04:13,856 --> 01:04:15,893
Cause I thought that the more I know
821
01:04:15,927 --> 01:04:18,407
the more I would understand this place.
822
01:04:19,918 --> 01:04:23,957
However, all this preparation is gone for nothing.
823
01:04:24,574 --> 01:04:25,769
How did it happen?
824
01:04:25,959 --> 01:04:32,285
Seeing people how they cried while they were smiling,
825
01:04:32,901 --> 01:04:37,577
their eyes bright like
a light at the end ofthe tunnel,
826
01:04:38,336 --> 01:04:43,695
seeing how devoted, tolerant
and forgivable they could be,
827
01:04:43,757 --> 01:04:48,240
among each other and toward the society.
828
01:04:48,443 --> 01:04:54,121
I felt like I was responsible for all these crimes.
829
01:05:21,244 --> 01:05:24,680
We arrived about five in the evening.
830
01:05:24,756 --> 01:05:26,155
We sat in here
831
01:05:26,307 --> 01:05:29,663
it was an empty place without trees that time.
832
01:05:29,784 --> 01:05:32,537
They made the women sit in the place,
833
01:05:32,982 --> 01:05:35,861
they hide the men up to the mountain.
834
01:05:36,308 --> 01:05:39,471
Me, I was walking around aware of nothing.
835
01:05:39,969 --> 01:05:42,802
They installed four machine-guns,
836
01:05:43,144 --> 01:05:45,055
put the bullets in them.
837
01:05:45,379 --> 01:05:49,384
I went here and there. How stupid was I!
838
01:05:50,159 --> 01:05:52,992
It was nightfall. Darkness.
839
01:05:53,465 --> 01:05:57,345
The rattle started. Tuck tuck tuck...
840
01:05:57,790 --> 01:06:01,545
I don't know how I succeed to hide in the bush.
841
01:06:01,672 --> 01:06:05,188
No woman did any voice.
842
01:06:05,663 --> 01:06:09,497
I could not find my mother in that crowd.
843
01:06:09,827 --> 01:06:13,104
This is the place, where my mother has died,
844
01:06:13,414 --> 01:06:15,928
below this rock has my father died.
845
01:06:16,124 --> 01:06:19,128
The rock was as high as this.
My father was lying below
846
01:06:19,216 --> 01:06:20,183
at the bottom ofthe rock.
847
01:06:20,786 --> 01:06:23,699
There was a small road over there.
848
01:06:23,747 --> 01:06:27,661
My brother was standing near the rock.
849
01:06:28,475 --> 01:06:32,434
The we crossed the hills up
to the peak of one mountain
850
01:06:32,853 --> 01:06:36,175
A smoke was rising up to the sky.
851
01:06:36,482 --> 01:06:40,237
I assumed that they were burning...
852
01:08:04,882 --> 01:08:06,793
Oh tide oftime!
853
01:08:12,132 --> 01:08:15,454
We lefl our village and came to Pax.
854
01:08:15,876 --> 01:08:20,438
We stayed here three and
a half month, the they killed the people.
855
01:08:21,933 --> 01:08:23,810
No one was lefl.
856
01:08:24,224 --> 01:08:27,660
I went with a man for pasture.
857
01:08:27,802 --> 01:08:30,237
I had a friend in Pax.
858
01:08:30,593 --> 01:08:32,186
The animals saved me.
859
01:08:32,710 --> 01:08:38,228
The morning that they shot the people down,
860
01:08:38,515 --> 01:08:41,712
I came to look for my mother, father, sister.
861
01:08:42,017 --> 01:08:45,976
Bu the water was just like that...
862
01:08:46,468 --> 01:08:50,427
I could not... I was afraid,
863
01:08:50,843 --> 01:08:54,438
Hundred and fifly people is a lot, all in a heap.
864
01:08:54,744 --> 01:08:57,463
Filled up till the rock.
865
01:08:58,191 --> 01:09:01,195
They had installed the machine-guns here.
866
01:09:02,140 --> 01:09:05,303
In the middle ofwater, in the middle ofwater...
867
01:09:05,688 --> 01:09:08,567
They've put the corpses in a heap,
one upon the other...
868
01:09:12,209 --> 01:09:14,120
ah ah stones
869
01:09:17,895 --> 01:09:21,536
or one week, this rill carried
the bodies and the blood...
870
01:09:21,992 --> 01:09:24,950
The river was all covered with blood.
871
01:09:27,242 --> 01:09:29,961
There was my father my mother, my grandmother,
872
01:09:30,061 --> 01:09:33,179
my three sisters and a sibling of mine...
873
01:09:34,063 --> 01:09:36,942
I could not see them among the bodies.
874
01:09:37,399 --> 01:09:40,801
How could I identify the corpses in a heap?
875
01:09:41,337 --> 01:09:44,898
I cried in here. But crying is good for nothing.
876
01:09:45,513 --> 01:09:46,867
Doesn't help!
877
01:09:47,338 --> 01:09:50,774
I lefl and went this road to Pax
878
01:09:50,824 --> 01:09:52,701
and hide there.
879
01:09:54,224 --> 01:09:57,342
What a tide oftime!
880
01:12:38,946 --> 01:12:42,667
Here, I did not see my mother, butthe little Ema;
881
01:12:43,663 --> 01:12:46,462
Her real name was Elif. I saw the little Elif.
882
01:12:47,913 --> 01:12:51,634
I saw that the old Emo§ looking atthe little one.
883
01:12:54,960 --> 01:12:57,918
My mother opened her feathers like a pheasant his tail
884
01:12:58,295 --> 01:13:01,128
to show all its colors.
885
01:13:01,182 --> 01:13:05,426
She will return to Istanbul with her tail open.
886
01:13:20,813 --> 01:13:23,009
Related to my mother or not,
887
01:13:23,499 --> 01:13:26,503
every place I have seen or been,
888
01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:29,442
there were the mothers of someone.
889
01:13:30,208 --> 01:13:32,848
There were their relatives.
890
01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:35,708
As a human being,
891
01:13:36,427 --> 01:13:38,668
I will carry the souls ofthose,
892
01:13:38,713 --> 01:13:41,148
who lost their lives in this incredible slaughter,
893
01:13:42,637 --> 01:13:45,914
as much as I can on my shoulder.
894
01:13:46,891 --> 01:13:48,802
When I tryto figure out
895
01:13:49,461 --> 01:13:50,974
what they have felt
896
01:13:52,679 --> 01:13:57,276
waiting for death, going to death or when they died,
897
01:13:57,628 --> 01:14:02,270
I feel as if my mind cannot stand to that load.
898
01:14:04,475 --> 01:14:05,510
My Only hope is
899
01:14:05,555 --> 01:14:07,876
that they massacred people
900
01:14:08,109 --> 01:14:10,350
would be remembered with respect.
901
01:14:11,660 --> 01:14:12,980
I wish that
902
01:14:13,887 --> 01:14:16,481
this remembering day with respect
903
01:14:17,637 --> 01:14:19,639
would be more crowded
904
01:14:20,005 --> 01:14:22,485
than the number ofthe dead people.
71186
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