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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,460 - Papa, let's go! - We're going, we're going, son. 4 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:57,170 - Papa! - Yes, yes! We're going. 5 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,400 - Papa, let's go! - Son, please. Papa is trying to talk. 6 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,380 Tell me about the car features. 7 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:03,790 When your kid calms down... 8 00:02:03,870 --> 00:02:05,670 ...I'll explain everything. 9 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,750 Mr. Gill! 10 00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:11,130 Papa, let's go. 11 00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:17,030 Son, this car is for you. Go, play with it. 12 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,040 Mr. Gill. 13 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,710 Varun Batra, CEO. 14 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:22,630 I spotted you from my office. 15 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:27,500 And I'm not surprised your son doesn't like this car. 16 00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:33,000 Even I think this car is not suitable for your family. 17 00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:35,710 Go home, Akash. 18 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,040 Allow me to show you the right car. Come. 19 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,540 The Volkswagen Tiguan. 20 00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:46,590 A car that oozes perfection from every angle. 21 00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:49,590 I won't bore you with describing all its amazing features. 22 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,590 But yes, the sunroof... 23 00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:54,710 ...and drive-mode selector makes this a sporty SUV. 24 00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:57,670 A perfect combination for your family's journey. 25 00:02:57,750 --> 00:03:02,790 It's not my job to advise customers but I took one look at you... 26 00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:06,760 ...and, honestly, I can't see you behind the wheel of any other car. 27 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,630 You can have a look. 28 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:37,000 Papa! Let's go home. 29 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,710 I don't want that car, Papa! 30 00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:41,040 - One second, sonny. - Papa, I wanna go home! 31 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,600 Sorry. My son's upset. I'll come back later. 32 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:45,390 Sir... 33 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,710 Varun, you go home too. 34 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,170 You need a drink. 35 00:04:02,670 --> 00:04:05,460 Come on, guys. Cheers! 36 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:13,920 First time in my career, a one-foot nothing ruined a deal. 37 00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:16,670 "Don't want it." 38 00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:19,540 How can anyone be scared of a wife or a kid? 39 00:04:25,570 --> 00:04:28,250 Deepu's on the line. Hello, Deepu! 40 00:04:29,090 --> 00:04:31,930 "How can anyone be scared of a wife or a kid?" The proof! 41 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,040 - Yes, Deepu? - Where are you, Varun? 42 00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:38,500 At the showroom. Darling, it's a very, very busy day. 43 00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:40,420 What's the date today? 44 00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:45,670 - When's our anniversary? - October. 45 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,540 And Deepu's birthday? 46 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,380 - She's your wife! - How should we know? 47 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,740 Darling, sorry, that was a customer. 48 00:04:57,070 --> 00:04:58,420 Today's the 12th of January. Why? 49 00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:01,130 What's special about the 12th? 50 00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:03,790 The 12th of January? 51 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,500 I'm ovulating, Varun. 52 00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:09,210 I stuck a note on your cupboard to remind you. 53 00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:11,040 It clearly said: 54 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,960 "On 12th January, we're trying for a child." 55 00:05:16,710 --> 00:05:20,460 Darling, I have so much work. So many deliveries. 56 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:23,890 - Get the invoice ready. - Yes, sir. 57 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,000 Why don't you ask your customers to give you a baby? 58 00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:30,170 Let them do the delivering. 59 00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:31,500 Listen carefully, Varun. 60 00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:35,840 If you want this baby to look like you, be home in half an hour. 61 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,120 What do you mean by that? Deepu! 62 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:46,670 What did she say? 63 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,710 She's ov...overreacting. 64 00:05:51,390 --> 00:05:53,790 - Is your helicopter here? - Parked right outside! 65 00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:56,210 See you later. Bye. 66 00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:53,540 Where are all your clothes? 67 00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:05,000 I gotta poop. 68 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,130 You've been drinking. 69 00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,790 And smoking. 70 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:13,590 My friends insisted, so I had one root beer. 71 00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:16,630 Liar! You were drinking with your pals. 72 00:07:16,710 --> 00:07:18,790 You know we're going to Delhi tomorrow. 73 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,040 Today's an important day for us. 74 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,670 How can you be so irresponsible? 75 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,760 Must I keep reminding you? Drinking and smoking damages sperm. 76 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,290 I had one drag. 77 00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:32,340 If one drag can weaken my sperm count, then shame on it! 78 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,630 This isn't about sperm, it's about your promise. 79 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,670 Don't I want to go out drinking with my friends? 80 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:41,000 But I know what's important. Show some maturity. 81 00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:42,960 Look who's talking! 82 00:07:43,170 --> 00:07:46,380 Remember the doctor's advice? "Make sure you get plenty of sleep." 83 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,540 And who was watching "Baby's Day Out" till 3am? 84 00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:50,880 So mature of you! 85 00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:54,510 Richa said seeing images of cute kids puts one in a good mood. 86 00:07:54,590 --> 00:07:57,040 And a good mood means healthy kids. 87 00:07:57,380 --> 00:07:58,880 I can't believe it. 88 00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:01,130 You're a leading journalist and Richa's a top lawyer. 89 00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:02,670 Is this what you two talk about? 90 00:08:03,510 --> 00:08:08,130 Great! Keep staring at cute kids. Maybe that'll get you pregnant. 91 00:08:08,510 --> 00:08:11,000 - Don't you want children? - Of course I do. 92 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,230 But not if it turns the bedroom into a battlefield. 93 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:15,960 Think of the pressure on me. 94 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:20,090 I don't even win video games. How do you expect me to score in bed? 95 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,000 Gone off pooping? 96 00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:33,000 It's my poop. Poop or not poop, what's it to you? 97 00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:40,840 I'm sorry. I want a kid so badly. 98 00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:43,380 I've been pressuring you too much. 99 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,170 I'm sorry, baby. 100 00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:54,590 I'm sorry too. 101 00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:06,440 Here we go to battle again, Comrades! 102 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:22,500 Planning a moon jump? 103 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,460 This boosts my chances of conceiving. 104 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:29,710 Chances of you losing your mind are far greater. 105 00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:32,380 I'm still mad at you. 106 00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:36,380 How could you lie to me and go boozing with your friends, Varun? 107 00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:41,210 You just apologized. Why stir it up again? 108 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,920 You should say sorry to me. 109 00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,670 I faked it because you were play-acting. 110 00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:50,130 I can't waste my precious fertile days. 111 00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:53,000 You mean... 112 00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:55,500 ...you weren't really sorry? 113 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,670 You're disgusting! 114 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,920 Let's have dinner. Then we'll do it again. 115 00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:04,500 Do it again? 116 00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:07,340 - Do what again? - What we just did. 117 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,130 Have you no pity on me? 118 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,790 My insides are drained. I'm just blowing smoke rings. 119 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,290 I can't do it. No chance. 120 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,540 No. Can't be done. 121 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,740 - Varun... - I... 122 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,800 I've had it. 123 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,040 Thank you. 124 00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:34,090 I'm sorry to keep forcing you, but it's so important. 125 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:39,420 This time I've got really positive vibes. I can feel it. 126 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:46,210 Deepu, put your legs down, please. 127 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,380 Don't try your yoga poses. No point. 128 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,710 Why? 129 00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:54,290 Nothing happened. 130 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,980 I was just faking it. 131 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,180 I made the right noises, that's all. 132 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,640 What? 133 00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:06,230 You guys can fake it too? 134 00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:08,850 It's not rocket science. 135 00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:11,230 All we do is make weird faces and grunt. 136 00:11:13,810 --> 00:11:16,780 This is wrong. Unfair. Deepu! 137 00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:20,480 I can't do it. 138 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,160 If I try any harder, I'll end up with a hernia. 139 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,900 What now? You're drinking water? 140 00:11:24,980 --> 00:11:27,230 What are you doing, Deepu? Deepu! 141 00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:30,270 - Where do I sleep? - On the sofa. 142 00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:53,930 Mister, if we go any slower, we'll be rolling backwards. 143 00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:56,770 Faster, please. 144 00:11:58,020 --> 00:11:59,600 We're gonna miss our flight. 145 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,680 What's come over you? 146 00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:06,100 The idea of kids scared you two years ago and now... 147 00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:09,020 Your career was top priority then. 148 00:12:09,570 --> 00:12:12,060 Can't I want something too? Unbelievable. 149 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,240 I'll be the one delivering, putting my career on hold. 150 00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:17,520 Can't believe it. 151 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,390 You were at it again at dawn. 152 00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:21,730 No tea, coffee or breakfast. 153 00:12:22,270 --> 00:12:24,600 "Baby, let's try again." 154 00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:28,610 If you get pregnant this time, we'll tell the baby: 155 00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:30,610 "Papa created you on an empty stomach." 156 00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:33,360 I'm ovulating, Varun. 157 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:37,320 There's a party at our Delhi home this evening. Be reasonable. 158 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,070 We have a flight to catch and Mummy keeps calling 24/7. 159 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:43,230 She won't stop texting either. Does it have to be today? 160 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:45,690 Oh! I'm sorry. 161 00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:49,990 I'll tell my ovaries not to release any eggs when there's a family do. 162 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,650 They can release eggs any time, but must I slog? 163 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,440 Sir, sorry to interrupt. 164 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,900 Ovulation takes place about 14 days before the expected date. 165 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,270 Females can conceive only then. 166 00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:01,900 But we men... 167 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,690 ...can produce millions of sperm every day. 168 00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:07,770 So it's important to try on the right date. 169 00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:10,520 I should know. My kids... 170 00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:12,270 Tia and Aryan. 171 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:19,590 Keep using Uber! Looks like their drivers are qualified doctors. 172 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:31,110 Ladies and gentlemen, you may now unfasten your seat belts. 173 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:34,980 You may now use the washroom and your electronic devices. 174 00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:38,860 - Let me help you. - It's fine. 175 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:43,520 - Excuse me? Could you help me? - Sure. 176 00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:45,900 The brown one. 177 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:50,570 Thank you. 178 00:13:58,690 --> 00:13:59,940 I'm really sorry, but I have to ask. 179 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:03,230 Don't you write a column in "Entertainment Magazine 60mm?" 180 00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:05,440 Deepti Batra? 181 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:06,980 Yeah. 182 00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:10,860 - I thought only I read my columns. - No, not at all. 183 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:14,190 Every time I read your column, I thank God I'm not illiterate. 184 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:17,270 Do you mind a selfie? 185 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,070 - Sure. - Thanks. 186 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:28,570 Excuse me. You're photobombing us. 187 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:30,190 Thanks. 188 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,020 Thank you. 189 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,820 My Insta's gonna go off the hook! 190 00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:42,190 - Excuse me. Could you sit over here? - No, we're fine, thank you. 191 00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:45,150 She's my wife. 192 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,230 Sit here then. 193 00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:52,400 Excuse me. What are you doing? 194 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,820 I think madam is angry. 195 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,320 It happens. 196 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,480 Maybe she asked you for something you couldn't give her. 197 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,520 May I be of any help? 198 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,980 Stick to selfies. 199 00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:21,360 You were right. 200 00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:24,770 We won't get a chance in Delhi with our relatives around. 201 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,770 Our only chance is to do what we have to before we land. 202 00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:51,440 My wife is ovulating. 203 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,520 What's wrong, Deepu? 204 00:16:18,790 --> 00:16:21,520 Now I know how a cricket team feels... 205 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,320 ...when they return home without a trophy. 206 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,440 Meaning? 207 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,720 We're seeing your parents again without any "good news." 208 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,690 My parents know you're the ace batsman Virat Kohli. 209 00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:35,150 One day you'll bring the trophy home. 210 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:40,070 Virat Kohli has a team of ten, all I have is you. 211 00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:41,900 I'm trying. What about the flight...? 212 00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:44,490 - Here comes the Mumbai family! - Mama! 213 00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,230 Welcome, welcome! 214 00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:50,440 God bless you with a healthy child. 215 00:16:51,690 --> 00:16:54,110 - Where's Papa? - Buying peanuts for Lohri. 216 00:16:54,190 --> 00:16:58,230 You two must rest now. We'll leave at 5pm. 217 00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:01,480 Son, how's your slip-dicks? 218 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,900 It's "slipped disc." Ma! 219 00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,440 This is a disc. 220 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,400 - OK! Your backache. - It's fine. 221 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,930 - Where are you going? - To the beauty parlor. 222 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:14,230 - We'll be ready by 5. - Don't be late. See you. 223 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,490 My brother is here. 224 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:44,430 Thank you for coming. I'm so glad you're here. 225 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:48,920 You've lost so much weight. Give me some dieting tips. 226 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,670 It's time to gain weight, not lose it. 227 00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:55,010 Why explain it to the children? They never listen. 228 00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:58,520 - Why are you so skinny? - I've been working out, Mom. 229 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,630 Look, what a cute kid! 230 00:18:01,090 --> 00:18:03,960 Why did you call him "Holaram?" 231 00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:07,000 Granny insisted on the name. 232 00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:09,050 Grandpa's name was Ram... 233 00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:10,670 ...and our son was born on Holi. 234 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,880 So she named him "Holaram." 235 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:17,000 Good job he wasn't born on Lohri, he'd be called a peanut! 236 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,340 - Why must you put your foot in it? - I didn't do it deliberately. 237 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,620 I didn't even realize it. 238 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,170 Come. 239 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:33,590 Now say sorry to everyone. 240 00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:35,880 Sorry. Sorry, everyone. 241 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,170 Never mind! 242 00:18:37,670 --> 00:18:40,300 I'm changing Holaram's name before he starts school... 243 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:41,920 ...before he changes his parents. 244 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:44,710 Congratulations! 245 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:48,220 Congratulations on Hole's first Lohri. 246 00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:49,740 A gift for you. 247 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,300 It's "Hola" and not "Hole". 248 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:55,460 As if either name made any sense. By God! 249 00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,550 Is that your Mumbai sister-in-law? 250 00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:02,630 I'll say a quick hello. 251 00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:06,460 Hello! Do you recognize me? 252 00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:09,340 Yes, of course. 253 00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:14,210 You're looking gorgeous. Where's your husband? 254 00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:16,840 He's actually at the bar. 255 00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:19,750 - How long have you been married? - Seven years. 256 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,300 Seven years? Children? 257 00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:25,090 Actually, I'm really busy with my job, so... 258 00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:27,590 That's just an excuse. 259 00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:31,050 You're at the right age to have kids, make the in-laws happy. 260 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:35,220 So they'll have a little toy to play with! 261 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,800 Yes, of course, aunty. 262 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,210 - Glass of wine? - Yeah! 263 00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:40,590 - See you later. - No problem. 264 00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:45,420 Relax, sister-in-law. Ignore these silly aunties. 265 00:19:45,710 --> 00:19:48,420 - How are you, Deepu? - I don't have kids! 266 00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:51,120 I came to wish you Happy Lohri. 267 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,760 Sorry, aunty. Happy Lohri! 268 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,510 - Happy Lohri, aunty. - Happy Lohri. Bless you. 269 00:19:57,590 --> 00:20:00,210 As I was saying, don't pay attention to them. 270 00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:01,630 Tell you what... 271 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,300 ...if you're having trouble conceiving, I have an idea. 272 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,550 I know this amazing healer. 273 00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,880 He just has to take one look at you and your work is done. 274 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:12,670 Shall I talk to him? 275 00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:15,880 Aunty! Mom's looking for you. 276 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,170 She phoned you three times. She's over there, waiting. 277 00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:21,880 I'd better go to her. 278 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,550 Think it over. 279 00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:28,670 I swear! If I hear the word "baby" again, I'll punch someone in the face. 280 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,500 - Ma'am, you want a baby...? - No, I don't want... 281 00:20:33,790 --> 00:20:34,880 What happened? 282 00:20:35,210 --> 00:20:38,670 He meant "baby corn". 283 00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:41,920 I know, but... 284 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,130 We're sorry, baby. 285 00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:01,420 Girls and boys, get ready to dance the bhangra 286 00:21:14,460 --> 00:21:15,760 We'll dance all night 287 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,460 How it teases me 288 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,590 Takes my breath away 289 00:21:26,130 --> 00:21:28,080 Your red flowing skirt 290 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,980 It robs me of sleep 291 00:21:39,530 --> 00:21:42,940 Sweetheart, your red flowing skirt 292 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,550 My fair skin, dark kohl in my eyes 293 00:22:21,710 --> 00:22:25,050 You keep waiting for me, I won't be vain 294 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,550 When you dance, everyone dances You set hearts on fire 295 00:22:42,630 --> 00:22:46,210 No one is safe when you sway your hips 296 00:22:48,090 --> 00:22:49,840 Let's get crazy! 297 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,920 How it teases you 298 00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:55,420 How it steals your heart 299 00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:02,210 My red flowing skirt 300 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,160 I can't sleep at nights 301 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,130 My red flowing skirt 302 00:23:17,210 --> 00:23:20,530 Sweetheart, your red flowing skirt 303 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,800 Hola is such a cutie! 304 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:09,800 I told you, I only watch kiddy TV when I'm pregnant. 305 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,210 He's the result! 306 00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:14,960 What Channel did Vivek's parents watch? Animal Planet? 307 00:24:15,750 --> 00:24:18,750 Keep your trap shut, please! 308 00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:23,420 We called you here to discuss something important. 309 00:24:23,550 --> 00:24:25,050 No prizes for what that is. 310 00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,550 We're trying to have kids. 311 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,710 But he makes me feel like he's doing me a big favor. 312 00:24:33,090 --> 00:24:36,800 - Don't start that again. - Relax, brother. We're family. 313 00:24:37,210 --> 00:24:39,960 If you can't talk to us, then who can you talk to? 314 00:24:40,210 --> 00:24:43,130 Deepu is right. Keep trying. 315 00:24:43,380 --> 00:24:46,380 We were at it three times a day. Ask him! We tried every position: 316 00:24:46,630 --> 00:24:49,840 - Missionary, spooning, dog and... - That'll do. 317 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,750 Spare us the details. 318 00:24:53,380 --> 00:24:56,710 Frankly, I'm sick and tired of this subject. 319 00:24:57,090 --> 00:25:00,170 Sometimes I get confused. Do we really want kids... 320 00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:03,750 ...or is it because society wants us to have them? 321 00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:07,380 Facebook and Twitter are full of images of celebrity kids. 322 00:25:07,670 --> 00:25:10,380 If you have kids, keep them out of sight. 323 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,970 Stop making us jealous. Don't show off. 324 00:25:13,050 --> 00:25:14,880 What about old age? 325 00:25:15,670 --> 00:25:17,340 Our children will take care of our needs. 326 00:25:17,420 --> 00:25:18,460 That's what they all say. 327 00:25:18,590 --> 00:25:20,840 But we're not gonna produce the next billionaire! 328 00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:25,380 We'll have kids with funny pet names. We'll turn grey wiping his nose. 329 00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:28,880 And when relatives come over and say, "So sweet!" 330 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,000 He'll poop his pants. 331 00:25:30,130 --> 00:25:33,250 They'll hand him back to us saying: "Clean him up and bring him back." 332 00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:36,300 Then they'll make gurgling sounds at the kid. 333 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,460 We feed him, he'll poop again. 334 00:25:39,630 --> 00:25:42,170 We feed him, he'll poop again. 335 00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:45,710 - Another beer? - Let me finish this one. 336 00:25:51,630 --> 00:25:54,340 Who is Dr. Joshi? Why are you texting me his number? 337 00:25:54,420 --> 00:25:57,050 He's Mumbai's top fertility specialist. 338 00:25:57,170 --> 00:25:58,950 No harm in seeing him once. 339 00:25:59,030 --> 00:26:00,500 I don't want to see him. 340 00:26:00,670 --> 00:26:03,340 I don't want to see a sexologist. No chance. 341 00:26:03,420 --> 00:26:06,720 Varun, which century do you live in? 342 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,380 Just a minute, sister-in-law. Varun, remember Cherry? 343 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,900 Aunt Anu's daughter? 344 00:26:13,130 --> 00:26:15,840 She and her husband tried for five years. 345 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,380 Five long years. 346 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,160 Finally, they went to Mumbai and met Dr Joshi. 347 00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:23,380 And a year later, guess what? 348 00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:25,880 She had two healthy kids. 349 00:26:26,380 --> 00:26:28,830 One kid every six months? 350 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,760 Hell, no, idiot! Twins. 351 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,920 - Be more precise. - They had twins. 352 00:26:34,090 --> 00:26:37,800 There's no shame in meeting the doctor. 353 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,960 Dr Joshi's the best, brother. 354 00:26:40,420 --> 00:26:42,210 Just go and see him. 355 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,000 OK, we'll see him. 356 00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:49,840 Happy now? 357 00:26:50,460 --> 00:26:51,920 Much obliged. 358 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,000 Nothing makes her happy. 359 00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:12,550 Why are test tube babies only white? 360 00:27:13,210 --> 00:27:14,710 Doesn't the doctor do Indian babies? 361 00:27:17,210 --> 00:27:20,500 Mr and Mrs Patra? Dr Joshi will see you now. 362 00:27:22,420 --> 00:27:24,250 It's Mr and Mrs Batra. 363 00:27:24,710 --> 00:27:26,380 I'm sorry, my bad. 364 00:27:26,460 --> 00:27:27,920 Thank you, Puzie. 365 00:27:28,130 --> 00:27:29,670 It's "Suzie." 366 00:27:30,170 --> 00:27:31,670 Sorry. My bad. 367 00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:44,090 Hello. 368 00:27:46,460 --> 00:27:48,460 Please have a seat, Mr and Mrs Batra. 369 00:27:53,050 --> 00:27:55,880 I've read your reports. 370 00:27:57,130 --> 00:27:58,300 Tell me something. 371 00:27:58,420 --> 00:28:01,960 How are your relations with your wife? 372 00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:08,110 We're fighting now, but we're good. 373 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,460 He means "relations". 374 00:28:13,590 --> 00:28:16,130 - You mean our sex life? - Yes. Frequency? 375 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,570 - 16. - 2. 376 00:28:23,090 --> 00:28:24,130 How often? 377 00:28:24,630 --> 00:28:25,550 - Every week. - Every month. 378 00:28:30,340 --> 00:28:33,720 I'm sure you know there's a big difference between... 379 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,920 ...sixteen times a week and twice a month. 380 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:42,050 Anyway, the reports are not that great. 381 00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:46,050 Your egg count is rapidly decreasing. 382 00:28:46,420 --> 00:28:47,500 What does that mean? 383 00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:51,580 Whatever we do, we need to act fast. 384 00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:54,630 Doctor, is everything OK with me? 385 00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:58,010 Well, let's just say you have a few good swimmers left. 386 00:28:58,250 --> 00:29:02,050 - Swimmers? Oh! Sperm? - Yes. 387 00:29:03,710 --> 00:29:05,300 Now listen to me carefully. 388 00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:09,500 You have strong swimmers. 389 00:29:09,630 --> 00:29:14,170 But they faint the minute they enter her universe. 390 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,920 Faint? Why? 391 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,630 Don't worry. It's very common at your age. 392 00:29:19,710 --> 00:29:21,750 Now listen to me carefully. 393 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:26,170 What we'll do is - we'll take Deepti's eggs and your swimmers... 394 00:29:26,380 --> 00:29:30,500 ...and fertilize them in our lab. 395 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,630 One of the finest labs in India. 396 00:29:32,710 --> 00:29:33,920 Sure. 397 00:29:34,300 --> 00:29:37,590 And when the embryo is formed, we'll put it into your body. 398 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,800 This process is called "In vitro fertilization." 399 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,050 IVF. 400 00:29:43,300 --> 00:29:44,840 Perfect, let's do it. 401 00:29:45,210 --> 00:29:49,240 Doctor, during the process, will I need to take time off work? 402 00:29:50,170 --> 00:29:53,010 If you two are serious about wanting a child then... 403 00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:57,500 ...I'd suggest you put your work on hold. Focus on getting pregnant. 404 00:29:57,630 --> 00:29:59,340 But I can work, can't I? 405 00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:02,340 - I can go? - What? 406 00:30:04,250 --> 00:30:06,420 Of course Mr Batra, you can work. 407 00:30:07,380 --> 00:30:08,460 Good. 408 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,500 Please have a look at this and I'll see you in a minute. 409 00:30:21,210 --> 00:30:22,450 What's wrong with you? 410 00:30:22,590 --> 00:30:24,000 Wrong with me? What's wrong with him? 411 00:30:24,670 --> 00:30:26,840 Weirdo! Charging us a fortune... 412 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,920 ...and making out like he'll conjure up a baby for us from heaven. 413 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,960 We're legally married. Why was he embarrassed to use the word "sex"? 414 00:30:33,300 --> 00:30:36,340 Relations! He must talk to his wife like that. 415 00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:39,050 "Darling, let's have 'relations' tonight." 416 00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:40,630 Just shut up! 417 00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:43,710 What was that nonsense? 16 times a week! 418 00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:45,800 Where was I the other 14 times? 419 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,550 I got nervous. 420 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,840 I'm used to doctors asking where I hurt. But he asked me about my relations. 421 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,000 Not something I discuss every day. 422 00:30:55,250 --> 00:30:56,960 Varun, stop annoying me. 423 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,670 - He's a very good doctor. - Look at him. A very good doctor. 424 00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:06,670 Please come. 425 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,710 Come on, let's go. 426 00:31:16,380 --> 00:31:19,920 This lab is 12,000 sq. ft. They must be minting money here. 427 00:31:20,060 --> 00:31:23,610 So this is where we create life. 428 00:31:41,590 --> 00:31:42,920 Wow! 429 00:31:43,590 --> 00:31:46,840 All new machines. Absolutely fresh! 430 00:31:49,670 --> 00:31:51,300 Doctor, who's she? 431 00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:58,210 She is my wife, Dr Joshi. 432 00:31:58,290 --> 00:31:59,340 Oh, OK. 433 00:31:59,630 --> 00:32:00,670 Why? 434 00:32:01,710 --> 00:32:03,170 Nothing, just... 435 00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:07,460 May I ask something, doctor? 436 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,800 What if my eggs don't fertilize? 437 00:32:11,590 --> 00:32:13,590 Then we can use donor eggs. 438 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:15,050 Meaning? 439 00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:19,840 We can use the eggs of a young lady and fertilize them with your sperm. 440 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,250 Then plant them in Deepti. 441 00:32:23,170 --> 00:32:26,340 You guys are really stubborn. Good. 442 00:32:26,420 --> 00:32:29,000 Turning couples into parents is an art. 443 00:32:29,550 --> 00:32:33,380 Do you really believe these celebs who become parents in old age... 444 00:32:33,460 --> 00:32:36,300 - ...use their stardom to have kids? - True. 445 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,130 But isn't it easier just to adopt? 446 00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:41,960 Then why didn't you? 447 00:32:43,590 --> 00:32:49,000 The obsession of carrying forward one's genes is an old deep-rooted one. 448 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:51,800 Please come. 449 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,460 Ask something. Take some interest. 450 00:32:57,750 --> 00:32:59,670 Doctor, I have a question. 451 00:33:00,460 --> 00:33:03,800 I was just thinking, we're so medically advanced now... 452 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,380 ...is there a way for a man to get pregnant? 453 00:33:07,460 --> 00:33:08,500 Of course. 454 00:33:08,710 --> 00:33:13,740 In fact, in 2017, a man in the UK gave birth to a healthy baby girl. 455 00:33:14,050 --> 00:33:15,920 The man was a woman first. 456 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,130 Her ovaries and private parts had been removed. 457 00:33:18,210 --> 00:33:22,460 Got it! Spare us the details. That's amazing. Thank you. 458 00:33:23,170 --> 00:33:25,800 The nurse will explain everything to you. 459 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,470 You'll be administered hormone injections till your next cycle. 460 00:33:29,550 --> 00:33:31,500 You may have major mood swings. 461 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:32,630 Let me warn you. 462 00:33:32,710 --> 00:33:35,840 The process is draining, emotionally and financially. 463 00:33:36,300 --> 00:33:37,500 So be prepared. 464 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,460 Mr Batra, can you give us a semen sample? 465 00:33:40,630 --> 00:33:43,000 And Deepti, I'll see you on day two of your next cycle. 466 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,460 - This is yours. - Thank you. 467 00:33:45,590 --> 00:33:47,090 - All the best. - Thank you. 468 00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:53,500 Bobby, bet 13,500 rupees for me. 469 00:33:53,630 --> 00:33:55,590 All on India. OK? 470 00:33:57,380 --> 00:34:00,550 Sh**! Amateurs! 471 00:34:00,630 --> 00:34:03,540 Call for a run! Come on! 472 00:34:04,050 --> 00:34:05,300 Where's my match gone? 473 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,060 Why? 474 00:34:09,210 --> 00:34:12,970 You're giving your sample today. You can't be stressed. 475 00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:16,140 You know how stress upsets sperm. 476 00:34:17,750 --> 00:34:21,920 Aren't you overdoing it? Please, it's the semi-finals. 477 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,210 My sperm want to watch too. Don't upset them. 478 00:34:25,290 --> 00:34:27,670 If they get upset, we'll never have children. 479 00:34:28,130 --> 00:34:29,670 You find this funny, Varun? 480 00:34:30,460 --> 00:34:32,630 Stop talking rubbish. Go! Do it properly. 481 00:34:33,170 --> 00:34:34,090 Properly? 482 00:34:35,170 --> 00:34:38,340 Feed me some honey for good luck! This is not an exam. 483 00:34:38,670 --> 00:34:41,300 I'm so tense as it is. What'll happen there? 484 00:34:42,670 --> 00:34:44,130 Please go, Varun. 485 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:45,960 Another wicket down. 486 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,050 - Varun? - Going! 487 00:34:48,550 --> 00:34:49,340 Going! 488 00:34:52,420 --> 00:34:55,300 I'll watch on the phone. Do as you please. 489 00:34:55,460 --> 00:34:56,920 My team's losing. 490 00:35:09,170 --> 00:35:10,920 - Excuse me. - Yes, sir? 491 00:35:11,050 --> 00:35:12,380 I have an appointment. 492 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,170 For what, sir? 493 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:15,840 Sample. 494 00:35:16,170 --> 00:35:17,710 Sorry, sir? 495 00:35:17,970 --> 00:35:20,300 Check my name in your system. 496 00:35:21,170 --> 00:35:22,260 Your name? 497 00:35:22,740 --> 00:35:23,960 Varun Batra. 498 00:35:26,670 --> 00:35:28,710 You're here to give a semen sample. 499 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,920 Don't be embarrassed. They're all here for the same reason. 500 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:38,840 Here's your bottle. 501 00:35:39,010 --> 00:35:40,760 Sit in the waiting area. 502 00:35:41,630 --> 00:35:43,460 Could you put it in a plastic bag? 503 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:45,050 Sir, plastic is banned. 504 00:35:46,010 --> 00:35:47,510 So is this made of metal? 505 00:35:50,170 --> 00:35:52,210 Mr Pendekar, please come. 506 00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:59,930 Now listen to me carefully. If you want to entrust your dreams of parenthood... 507 00:36:00,010 --> 00:36:03,590 ...to safe hands, then don't hesitate coming to us. 508 00:36:03,670 --> 00:36:05,720 Look at the clock above your head. 509 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,510 You'll know how many healthy kids we've brought into this world. 510 00:36:09,590 --> 00:36:12,130 We can guarantee you one thing... 511 00:36:14,050 --> 00:36:14,960 Good news! 512 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:21,800 Please help. 513 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:28,500 Mr Batra! 514 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,890 Please come. Your super-deluxe room is ready. 515 00:36:32,970 --> 00:36:35,590 I say! Super-deluxe? 516 00:37:10,210 --> 00:37:11,300 Varun, all done? 517 00:37:11,510 --> 00:37:13,510 Deepu, it's very tough. 518 00:37:13,910 --> 00:37:16,840 It's like a gun is pointed at my head and a voice booming: "Do it now!" 519 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,520 It's biologically impossible. 520 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,380 Varun, I seriously can't do this right now. 521 00:37:20,510 --> 00:37:22,710 I have an interview with the star Katrina. 522 00:37:22,790 --> 00:37:24,880 You don't care what I'm going through. 523 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:29,380 They gave me magazines and DVDs to get me started. Seriously! 524 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,840 Am I a teenager? 525 00:37:34,980 --> 00:37:38,010 Baby, at your granny's memorial service... 526 00:37:38,090 --> 00:37:41,630 ...while everyone was mourning, what were we up to? 527 00:37:42,110 --> 00:37:43,920 This is nothing. 528 00:37:44,460 --> 00:37:46,380 Stop agonizing! Just do it. 529 00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:50,880 Can you help me? Talk dirty to me. 530 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,130 You nuts? Stop behaving like a kid! 531 00:37:53,270 --> 00:37:55,940 - Then give the phone to Katrina. - Shut up! 532 00:39:13,510 --> 00:39:16,050 It seems we're all ready to go. 533 00:39:17,130 --> 00:39:18,670 Now listen to me carefully. 534 00:39:19,300 --> 00:39:23,010 This is the last stage of the IVF procedure. The embryo transfer. 535 00:39:24,340 --> 00:39:27,510 The most delicate and critical procedure. 536 00:39:28,010 --> 00:39:28,850 They're interns. 537 00:39:30,090 --> 00:39:33,300 - Shouldn't they be more experienced? - They're just kids. 538 00:39:34,130 --> 00:39:35,090 Understand? 539 00:39:35,210 --> 00:39:38,880 Sir, the swelling on the outer lining? Is it normal? 540 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:42,920 Absolutely normal. It could be a reaction to the medication. 541 00:39:44,010 --> 00:39:48,050 Doctor, please administer anesthesia. I want to be unconscious. 542 00:39:48,190 --> 00:39:49,710 Relax, Mrs Batra. 543 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,080 I've done this a thousand times. 544 00:39:52,340 --> 00:39:56,750 Now listen to me carefully. I want you to shake off that negativity. 545 00:39:56,830 --> 00:40:00,050 It just upsets the embryo. 546 00:40:00,300 --> 00:40:03,760 And now I'll say a little prayer. 547 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:09,960 So listen carefully. 548 00:40:10,050 --> 00:40:14,920 Close your eyes. Let your positive energy flow into this embryo. 549 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:17,800 You too. 550 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,210 Not you two, idiots! 551 00:40:24,910 --> 00:40:27,010 - Focus your mind here. - Sorry. 552 00:40:29,420 --> 00:40:30,630 "O Mother of Life..." 553 00:40:30,710 --> 00:40:33,880 Doctor, should I repeat after you? 554 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,010 No, just listen! 555 00:40:37,650 --> 00:40:40,900 "O Mother of Life. O Father of the Universe. 556 00:40:43,710 --> 00:40:44,960 "Bless us... 557 00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,050 "...with the gift of a child. 558 00:40:49,470 --> 00:40:52,050 "With the gift of generations. 559 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,050 "With the gift of love." 560 00:41:03,830 --> 00:41:05,050 Congratulations! 561 00:41:05,420 --> 00:41:07,210 The procedure has been successful. 562 00:41:07,290 --> 00:41:09,460 We'll do a pregnancy test in 14 days. 563 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,050 Till then take extra care of yourself. 564 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:13,590 Remember... 565 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:17,340 ...the greatest enemy of an embryo is stress. So no stressing. 566 00:41:17,610 --> 00:41:20,050 Don't set your expectations too high. 567 00:41:20,170 --> 00:41:25,320 The next 14 days are the most difficult and... 568 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:26,420 ...crucial. 569 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,630 Crucial time. 570 00:41:30,670 --> 00:41:33,030 So be absolutely calm. 571 00:41:33,420 --> 00:41:34,630 Thank you. 572 00:41:54,670 --> 00:41:57,960 It feels so good to fall in love 573 00:41:58,260 --> 00:42:01,380 But how I fell I'll never know 574 00:42:02,090 --> 00:42:05,430 The way we kiss, the way we touch 575 00:42:05,510 --> 00:42:08,570 My heart will never know 576 00:42:08,710 --> 00:42:13,770 We kept talking as the evening turned to night 577 00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:20,370 Dreams like sparkling stars weaved a story for us 578 00:42:23,210 --> 00:42:28,300 Eyes spoke innocent words 579 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:34,920 What did they say? We listened mesmerized 580 00:42:36,670 --> 00:42:39,710 Where is the wind carrying us? 581 00:42:43,870 --> 00:42:47,460 How unaware we were... 582 00:42:49,630 --> 00:42:53,320 ...when our hearts embraced each other 583 00:42:54,710 --> 00:42:57,040 Can't say when it happened 584 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:36,010 It feels so good to fall in love 585 00:43:36,460 --> 00:43:39,470 But how I fell I'll never know 586 00:43:40,090 --> 00:43:43,420 The way we kiss, the way we touch 587 00:43:43,710 --> 00:43:46,820 My heart will never know 588 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:19,050 Dr Joshi's on the line. 589 00:44:19,630 --> 00:44:21,050 It's been only 12 days. 590 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:23,600 Hello? 591 00:44:23,770 --> 00:44:28,160 Mrs Batra, can you both come to the clinic for a minor check-up? 592 00:44:28,380 --> 00:44:29,050 Right now? 593 00:44:29,590 --> 00:44:30,510 Say no. 594 00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:33,760 We're leaving for work. Tomorrow? 595 00:44:34,030 --> 00:44:37,050 Please come straight away. It's an emergency check-up. 596 00:44:37,260 --> 00:44:39,590 Dr Joshi would also like a word. 597 00:44:40,340 --> 00:44:41,630 An emergency checkup? 598 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,670 I guess they know we aren't stressed. 599 00:44:48,090 --> 00:44:49,420 So they want to see us. 600 00:44:50,750 --> 00:44:53,330 We can guarantee you one thing... 601 00:44:55,370 --> 00:44:56,370 Good news! 602 00:44:56,520 --> 00:45:00,910 What news on star Alia's interview? See you later. 603 00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:05,200 This commercial makes me think twice about having kids. 604 00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,070 Why can't they show something decent here? 605 00:45:08,150 --> 00:45:10,580 - Like? - "Lethal Weapon." 606 00:45:10,660 --> 00:45:13,120 - It's a hospital for children. - "Baby's Day Out?" 607 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,620 But don't show this. Look at him selling parenthood. 608 00:45:15,700 --> 00:45:18,550 Keep coming, keep coming. Carefully! 609 00:45:22,290 --> 00:45:23,660 Carefully! 610 00:45:25,620 --> 00:45:26,830 Greetings, madam. 611 00:45:28,700 --> 00:45:29,920 Put them down. 612 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,370 Hey, bro! Keep them here. 613 00:45:34,450 --> 00:45:36,370 What's all this, sir? 614 00:45:36,700 --> 00:45:37,620 A gift, madam. 615 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,330 This isn't a hospital. It's the house of God... 616 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,290 ...where human beings are made. 617 00:45:43,410 --> 00:45:45,660 You bless unlucky couples like us. 618 00:45:45,860 --> 00:45:48,910 That's very thoughtful of you, sir. But gifts aren't allowed. 619 00:45:48,990 --> 00:45:49,610 No gifts? 620 00:45:50,130 --> 00:45:51,750 - No gifts in God's house? - No. 621 00:45:51,830 --> 00:45:54,000 You're kidding me. 622 00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,550 I brought Chandigarh's sweetest delicacies. 623 00:45:56,630 --> 00:45:59,830 They're for couples blessed with good news. Give them a box... 624 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:01,380 ...from me. 625 00:46:01,460 --> 00:46:02,700 What's this? 626 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,310 Diapers. Give these away too. 627 00:46:06,390 --> 00:46:09,190 I'd like to sponsor those cute little poops. 628 00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,390 So babies can let it flow free. 629 00:46:15,310 --> 00:46:18,010 Poop reminds me. Why did you call us? 630 00:46:20,190 --> 00:46:23,690 Actually, I feel blessed to have a medical problem. 631 00:46:24,210 --> 00:46:27,440 It has given me a reason to visit God's house. 632 00:46:29,270 --> 00:46:30,270 By the way, ma'am... 633 00:46:30,390 --> 00:46:33,560 ...God wrote this prescription, but no one can read it. 634 00:46:33,810 --> 00:46:34,600 Here you go. 635 00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,300 Just look at the prescription on the front. Ignore the back. 636 00:46:42,140 --> 00:46:45,310 Amazing! God's handwriting is the same, back and front! 637 00:46:45,940 --> 00:46:48,480 - The baby has arrived! - The baby's here. 638 00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,690 The baby has arrived! 639 00:46:52,270 --> 00:46:53,850 She's made a baby in 12 days. 640 00:46:53,930 --> 00:46:58,150 - No, not our baby. Someone else's. - Hear that? 641 00:46:58,230 --> 00:47:02,600 Dr Joshi let me watch. The cutie was born in front of my eyes. 642 00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,770 O Mother Goddess, give us a cute baby girl too. 643 00:47:06,850 --> 00:47:09,860 If it's a boy, you can dress him in a frock. 644 00:47:10,770 --> 00:47:14,020 Fine by us. Girl or boy. As long as it's our blood. 645 00:47:15,690 --> 00:47:18,140 What excuse do they have extending their family line? 646 00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:20,730 Mr and Mrs Batra. 647 00:47:20,850 --> 00:47:22,230 - Yeah. - Yes. 648 00:47:24,980 --> 00:47:26,940 - You also Batras? - Yeah. 649 00:47:27,020 --> 00:47:29,190 - Wow! We also! - Wow! 650 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:30,890 So which Batras do you want? 651 00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:32,850 All four. 652 00:47:34,310 --> 00:47:37,230 I think all the Batras will hear good news today. 653 00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:41,140 - Batra Day coming up! - Come. 654 00:47:42,850 --> 00:47:44,640 - Sir... - Please come. 655 00:47:45,730 --> 00:47:46,950 Hello. 656 00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,230 Please sit. 657 00:47:54,020 --> 00:47:58,020 Varun and Deepti, please meet the other Batras. 658 00:47:58,430 --> 00:48:00,010 Myself Honey Batra. 659 00:48:00,220 --> 00:48:02,390 And she's my dear wife, Monika Batra. 660 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:04,190 And here's my card. 661 00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:13,980 You keep it. 662 00:48:15,310 --> 00:48:19,440 Doctor, you called us here. Is it urgent? 663 00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,860 - I should be at the office. - Yes, yes. 664 00:48:22,010 --> 00:48:24,440 Take your time, doctor. We're in no hurry. 665 00:48:26,020 --> 00:48:26,810 Sorry, sir. 666 00:48:30,100 --> 00:48:31,560 I'll get to the point. 667 00:48:32,860 --> 00:48:35,890 We have a small problem. 668 00:48:36,150 --> 00:48:37,390 What problem? 669 00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:40,970 Well, the problem is... 670 00:48:41,050 --> 00:48:44,560 It's not the first time. It has happened in the US before. 671 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,270 But it's the first time for us. 672 00:48:46,350 --> 00:48:47,560 What is it, doctor? 673 00:48:49,390 --> 00:48:52,560 Well, the thing is... 674 00:48:53,190 --> 00:48:56,190 ...there has been a sperm mix-up. 675 00:48:58,100 --> 00:48:58,850 What? 676 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,270 What do you mean "sperm mix-up?" 677 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,690 Mixer? Fruit mixer? 678 00:49:05,810 --> 00:49:07,360 Doctor, explain in Hindi. 679 00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:12,190 You see Mr Honey, our highly experienced embryologists... 680 00:49:12,270 --> 00:49:16,190 ...were processing two sets of semen at the same time. 681 00:49:16,270 --> 00:49:18,360 Since you share the same surname, Batra... 682 00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,480 ...there was a mix-up. 683 00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:23,600 Mix-up? Will someone tell me what's going on? 684 00:49:23,870 --> 00:49:25,440 You're kidding me? 685 00:49:26,390 --> 00:49:30,870 You mean my wife has this baboon's sperm inside her? 686 00:49:31,060 --> 00:49:33,480 - What? - Don't call me a baboon. 687 00:49:34,810 --> 00:49:36,640 Whose child am I having? 688 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:40,060 What the hell is he saying? Explain in Hindi. 689 00:49:40,140 --> 00:49:41,770 I'll explain. 690 00:49:42,310 --> 00:49:44,560 This man has put my sperm... 691 00:49:45,180 --> 00:49:46,390 ...into her. 692 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,560 And your sperm went here. 693 00:49:49,190 --> 00:49:50,390 I mean inside her. 694 00:49:50,770 --> 00:49:54,800 You're saying our seeds got mixed up? 695 00:49:56,020 --> 00:49:57,940 - Seeds? - Our spam! 696 00:49:58,310 --> 00:50:01,940 Impossible! Spam isn't like luggage you can mix up. 697 00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:05,390 - Call yourself a doctor! - Please be civil. 698 00:50:05,470 --> 00:50:06,900 - Please be civil. - Stay calm. 699 00:50:06,980 --> 00:50:08,640 Just shut up, guys! 700 00:50:09,230 --> 00:50:11,860 I'm going to sue you. I will sue you. 701 00:50:11,940 --> 00:50:13,980 - I'm going to sue you guys. - That's nothing! 702 00:50:14,240 --> 00:50:17,940 You don't know my sister and her husband. They're Delhi's top criminal lawyers. 703 00:50:18,020 --> 00:50:19,810 My wife's a leading journalist. 704 00:50:19,890 --> 00:50:24,270 Who cares! My uncle is Haryana's CM's father-in-law. 705 00:50:24,350 --> 00:50:27,600 I'll get you both 15 years in jail. 706 00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:29,310 A minimum of 15 years. 707 00:50:29,390 --> 00:50:31,310 Calm down. Please. 708 00:50:31,390 --> 00:50:35,360 - Is this some joke? - Spam is not a song you remix. 709 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:36,560 Calm down. 710 00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:38,730 We're very embarrassed. It's our fault. 711 00:50:38,810 --> 00:50:41,900 Our technicians made a blunder. I'm very sorry. 712 00:50:41,980 --> 00:50:44,480 - So sorry. - Now listen to me carefully. 713 00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:46,940 Say that again and I'll punch you! 714 00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:48,850 Now you listen to me. 715 00:50:49,100 --> 00:50:53,060 Fix this mess now! Right now! 716 00:50:53,140 --> 00:50:56,770 Give me back my spam, madam. Doctor, give me back my seed. 717 00:50:56,850 --> 00:51:01,230 No stress. You two will have to undergo a minor procedure. 718 00:51:01,310 --> 00:51:03,480 So there's no chance of implantation. 719 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,420 Plantation? Why doesn't he speak in Hindi? 720 00:51:06,500 --> 00:51:07,940 Hindi, please! 721 00:51:08,020 --> 00:51:09,730 So your wives don't get pregnant. 722 00:51:09,810 --> 00:51:13,650 - There's no chance of pregnancy. - What if she's already pregnant? 723 00:51:13,730 --> 00:51:15,230 Just tell me what happens then? 724 00:51:15,310 --> 00:51:16,810 We can terminate. 725 00:51:16,940 --> 00:51:19,480 It's like a grain of sand. A minor DNC will do it. 726 00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:22,810 DNC? How's the "Delhi Noida Corporation" mixed up in this? 727 00:51:24,140 --> 00:51:25,600 We go for an abortion. 728 00:51:25,810 --> 00:51:26,860 Abortion? 729 00:51:26,940 --> 00:51:29,610 Are you bloody nuts? 730 00:51:29,690 --> 00:51:34,040 Mrs Batra, your chance of pregnancy are low. 731 00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:37,810 - Because your ovaries are way too old. - Hey! That's not right. 732 00:51:37,890 --> 00:51:41,120 My head's splitting! Let's just go. 733 00:51:42,350 --> 00:51:44,900 - Deepti. - You wait and watch. 734 00:51:44,980 --> 00:51:46,020 That's the wrong door. 735 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,590 As if you got the right woman! 736 00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,600 Moni... 737 00:51:58,390 --> 00:51:59,790 Can we get a refund? 738 00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:19,560 Yes? 739 00:52:20,150 --> 00:52:21,480 Negative. 740 00:52:21,730 --> 00:52:23,560 I'm so relieved. 741 00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,560 Deepu, let's forget all this. 742 00:52:28,940 --> 00:52:32,020 - It's fine if we had children naturally. - But? 743 00:52:32,350 --> 00:52:34,480 Aren't we good enough for each other? 744 00:52:34,910 --> 00:52:38,140 Being a parent is fulfilling, but restrictions come with it. 745 00:52:39,140 --> 00:52:44,190 We can't plan a holiday without thinking where we can buy baby food. 746 00:52:44,890 --> 00:52:46,230 Worry about school holidays. 747 00:52:46,310 --> 00:52:48,850 Now we can just take off. Books our tickets and fly! 748 00:52:49,230 --> 00:52:51,390 Do you realize freedom is priceless? 749 00:52:52,770 --> 00:52:55,480 Varun, I can't believe you're saying this. 750 00:52:56,730 --> 00:52:58,690 - Goodnight, Varun. - Goodnight. 751 00:52:58,810 --> 00:53:00,190 Don't switch the light off. 752 00:53:01,890 --> 00:53:03,200 Push. 753 00:53:04,390 --> 00:53:05,560 Deepu, push. 754 00:53:05,730 --> 00:53:06,440 Push! 755 00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,690 Say Moosa! 756 00:53:08,770 --> 00:53:09,520 Just relax. 757 00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,980 Think of a valley, a mountain, Mahabaleshwar. 758 00:53:13,310 --> 00:53:15,870 - OK, no Mahabaleshwar. - Push! 759 00:53:16,940 --> 00:53:18,640 That's good. Good. 760 00:53:20,190 --> 00:53:21,940 It's here! 761 00:53:27,810 --> 00:53:29,230 Hello-ji! 762 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:38,890 What's wrong? Are you OK? 763 00:53:42,890 --> 00:53:43,690 Deepu! 764 00:53:59,940 --> 00:54:03,350 Deepu, are you OK? 765 00:54:03,930 --> 00:54:05,140 Yeah, I'm OK. 766 00:54:05,220 --> 00:54:09,230 I had a bad dream. Now that I'm awake, I'll go for a walk. 767 00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,060 Go back to sleep, honey. 768 00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:15,640 "Honey!" 769 00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:25,940 Right, left. Up and down. 770 00:54:29,940 --> 00:54:31,640 Yes, like this. 771 00:54:33,770 --> 00:54:35,730 Zumba's the coolest 772 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,610 Young girl, filling water at the well 773 00:54:45,690 --> 00:54:48,040 Don't wash your delicate feet 774 00:54:52,690 --> 00:54:56,760 The champa flowers have blossomed, make your wedding garland 775 00:55:01,850 --> 00:55:06,170 The world's a dry crust of bread. My heart's a buttery paratha 776 00:55:06,390 --> 00:55:10,710 Baby, choose what you will. Sway your hips 777 00:55:11,020 --> 00:55:14,900 Dance the bhangra with me. Shake your booty! 778 00:55:14,980 --> 00:55:16,730 Zumba's the coolest 779 00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:23,130 Even cooler when a Sardar wiggles the Zumba 780 00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,480 My dancing feet will shake the earth today 781 00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:33,520 Young girl, filling water at the well 782 00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:35,740 Don't wash your delicate feet 783 00:55:40,690 --> 00:55:44,640 The champa flowers have blossomed, make your wedding garland 784 00:55:48,730 --> 00:55:50,210 Zumba! 785 00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:00,480 Move your feet 786 00:56:00,910 --> 00:56:03,150 Sway your hips 787 00:56:03,230 --> 00:56:07,470 Shame's like cholesterol. Get it out of your system! 788 00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:26,010 Come with me, shake your booty. Why stand frozen like a pillar? 789 00:56:26,090 --> 00:56:30,620 You'll lose weight, you'll look younger if we all did the Zumba! 790 00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:34,600 Zumba's the coolest 791 00:56:37,230 --> 00:56:40,490 Even cooler when a Sardar wiggles the Zumba 792 00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:51,460 Zumba's the coolest 793 00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:10,520 Even cooler when a Sardar wiggles the Zumba 794 00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:16,540 Zumba's the coolest 795 00:57:17,290 --> 00:57:19,350 Moni! Moni! 796 00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:34,230 Excuse me. 797 00:57:35,890 --> 00:57:37,310 Madam, the medicines. 798 00:57:37,850 --> 00:57:40,190 Are Moni's reports in? Monika Batra. 799 00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:41,900 - Is she your wife? - Yes. 800 00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:44,940 Sir, don't you recognize me? 801 00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:46,890 It's me, Lalita. 802 00:57:47,730 --> 00:57:49,140 I was at your wedding. 803 00:57:49,820 --> 00:57:51,980 Remember the buffet? 804 00:57:52,100 --> 00:57:54,310 The chole-kulcha? The food counter? 805 00:57:54,390 --> 00:57:56,940 That tasted rotten. The cook was arrested. 806 00:57:57,020 --> 00:58:00,900 You mean my husband? We came to your wedding together. 807 00:58:00,980 --> 00:58:03,440 - I made the... - Moni, are you OK? 808 00:58:03,770 --> 00:58:06,310 - What does the report say? - I'll get it. 809 00:58:06,490 --> 00:58:07,390 Are you OK? 810 00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:17,020 I feel more comfortable with you. 811 00:58:17,270 --> 00:58:18,770 That's why I asked for you. 812 00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:20,640 Me too. 813 00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:26,390 I'm glad. 814 00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:30,640 If we can undo our mistake, we'd be very happy. 815 00:58:32,100 --> 00:58:35,520 The endometrium lining seems a little thick. But it's normal. 816 00:58:40,690 --> 00:58:41,980 What's wrong, doctor? 817 00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:47,060 I think I see the sac. 818 00:58:50,420 --> 00:58:51,560 What do you mean? 819 00:58:56,810 --> 00:58:59,300 I think she's pregnant. 820 00:59:01,890 --> 00:59:04,470 Time to celebrate. It's good news! 821 00:59:20,230 --> 00:59:23,270 We can guarantee you one thing: 822 00:59:24,730 --> 00:59:26,060 Good news! 823 00:59:32,270 --> 00:59:34,270 How can you be so irresponsible? 824 00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:37,020 You're always playing Hitler with me. 825 00:59:37,310 --> 00:59:38,850 Why didn't you take the pill? 826 00:59:40,060 --> 00:59:42,350 The test results were negative. 827 00:59:42,430 --> 00:59:45,900 So I didn't want to tamper with my system. 828 00:59:46,100 --> 00:59:50,950 Tamper? It's one tiny bloody pill. How's that tampering? 829 00:59:51,430 --> 00:59:55,230 - Varun, you're so insensitive. - I'm insensitive? 830 00:59:55,310 --> 00:59:57,560 Someone up there must be laughing. 831 00:59:57,640 --> 00:59:59,850 "They tried so many times in vain. 832 00:59:59,930 --> 01:00:03,240 "But when they weren't trying..." We got good news! 833 01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:05,220 Go! 834 01:00:06,810 --> 01:00:08,560 It's a hospital zone. No honking. 835 01:00:10,100 --> 01:00:11,220 Let's abort. 836 01:00:11,930 --> 01:00:13,060 What is it? 837 01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:15,470 What's wrong? 838 01:00:16,970 --> 01:00:18,350 I was just thinking. 839 01:00:18,430 --> 01:00:22,390 What if Monika is carrying your child? 840 01:00:22,470 --> 01:00:26,080 Impossible! Remember what Dr Joshi said. 841 01:00:26,250 --> 01:00:29,130 My sperm faints when it enters your universe. 842 01:00:29,310 --> 01:00:33,470 They would've fainted entering Monika. Or died on the spot. 843 01:00:33,890 --> 01:00:37,020 Stop scaring me. She can't be pregnant. 844 01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:40,200 She can't be, right? 845 01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:59,270 - Don't tell anyone. - Why not? 846 01:00:59,410 --> 01:01:01,220 Don't tell the family now. 847 01:01:04,810 --> 01:01:07,020 Here come my children with good news! 848 01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:08,680 Bless you! 849 01:01:09,540 --> 01:01:12,720 My sweet future father. Let's celebrate. 850 01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:15,180 A beautiful day for good news. 851 01:01:15,260 --> 01:01:18,810 I had arranged a prayer meeting, then we heard the good news. 852 01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:21,690 - Who told you? - Lalita. 853 01:01:22,270 --> 01:01:24,680 - The receptionist? The wedding cook? - Yes. 854 01:01:24,970 --> 01:01:26,640 She told her mother. 855 01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:29,690 Her mother told her mother-in-law. And her mother-in-law told me. 856 01:01:29,770 --> 01:01:32,060 And you told all of Chandigarh. 857 01:01:33,100 --> 01:01:35,010 They're here for the prayer meeting. 858 01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:36,640 OK. 859 01:01:37,020 --> 01:01:41,190 Come, son. Go, distribute gifts to the married ladies. 860 01:01:41,270 --> 01:01:44,390 Your turn, Mummy. Don't drag me into this ladies business. 861 01:01:44,470 --> 01:01:45,350 Have mine. 862 01:01:48,020 --> 01:01:49,340 What's wrong with him? 863 01:01:49,850 --> 01:01:50,770 Wait! 864 01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:53,370 - Congratulations! - Scoot! 865 01:01:53,450 --> 01:01:54,600 Take this. 866 01:01:56,810 --> 01:01:58,600 What's come over you? 867 01:02:01,310 --> 01:02:05,140 I've been practising this line for six years. 868 01:02:06,100 --> 01:02:07,180 "Listen..." 869 01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:11,700 "I'm going to be the mother of your child" 870 01:02:13,860 --> 01:02:17,700 I've been dying to hear you say those words. 871 01:02:18,850 --> 01:02:20,600 But basically... 872 01:02:22,850 --> 01:02:26,100 - You're not carrying my child. - Then whose is it? 873 01:02:26,270 --> 01:02:27,810 Don't you remember? 874 01:02:29,380 --> 01:02:32,980 - Spam mix! - You still on about that? 875 01:02:33,110 --> 01:02:35,680 What mix-up? It's not funny. 876 01:02:36,060 --> 01:02:37,430 It's Mother Goddess's blessings. 877 01:02:37,580 --> 01:02:40,270 So why didn't She bless us before? 878 01:02:40,470 --> 01:02:42,470 What's so special about me now? 879 01:02:43,060 --> 01:02:45,470 Sit over there. 880 01:02:46,470 --> 01:02:47,720 Sit down! 881 01:02:51,970 --> 01:02:53,560 Tell me something. 882 01:02:53,810 --> 01:02:58,970 We lived in different cities. Who brought us together at Aunt Pinky's? 883 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:03,790 - Aunty Pinky. - Rubbish! It was Mother Goddess. 884 01:03:04,750 --> 01:03:06,810 You went quiet when you saw me. 885 01:03:07,100 --> 01:03:10,270 Who gave you the sense to say hello to me four days later? 886 01:03:13,810 --> 01:03:14,810 Mother Goddess. 887 01:03:15,310 --> 01:03:18,310 She saved your business, our crops and even saved you... 888 01:03:18,390 --> 01:03:20,480 ...when you had pneumonia. 889 01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:23,250 She made Mummy's knee surgery go well. Who did? 890 01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:24,730 Mother Goddess. 891 01:03:24,810 --> 01:03:28,840 When She performed miracles for us, you never doubted Her. 892 01:03:29,180 --> 01:03:31,390 She has blessed our lives. 893 01:03:36,670 --> 01:03:39,440 Doubting Her miracles is doubting Her. 894 01:03:46,770 --> 01:03:49,180 - Sorry, Moni. - It's OK. 895 01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:51,980 I should not doubt Her blessings. 896 01:03:52,470 --> 01:03:53,640 It's OK. 897 01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:55,100 Glory to the Goddess! 898 01:04:30,890 --> 01:04:31,850 Hello? 899 01:04:32,220 --> 01:04:34,470 Hello, brother. It's Honey. 900 01:04:35,030 --> 01:04:36,940 Honey, who? Wrong number. 901 01:04:37,020 --> 01:04:39,400 I dialed the right number. It's Honey Batra. 902 01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:44,080 Remember our spam mix-up at Joshi's hospital? 903 01:04:45,810 --> 01:04:48,820 I want to know. Is your wife pregnant? 904 01:04:49,060 --> 01:04:51,930 Hello, have you no sense of decency? 905 01:04:53,030 --> 01:04:54,950 Talking nonsense at this hour. 906 01:04:55,350 --> 01:04:57,770 Time has nothing to do with talking nonsense. 907 01:04:58,050 --> 01:05:02,530 I'm serious. You see my wife Moni is pregnant. 908 01:05:04,970 --> 01:05:08,630 - What? - Yes. Your wife, too? 909 01:05:10,310 --> 01:05:12,980 What's it to you if she were? 910 01:05:13,060 --> 01:05:16,810 It has everything to do with me. The kid will have my qualities. 911 01:05:16,890 --> 01:05:18,800 What qualities? 912 01:05:19,550 --> 01:05:23,680 I wouldn't even buy ice-cream of your quality! 913 01:05:24,150 --> 01:05:25,720 Don't you dare call back! 914 01:05:28,700 --> 01:05:29,680 Hello... 915 01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:36,270 He wouldn't even buy ice-cream of my quality. 916 01:05:38,250 --> 01:05:39,060 Moni. 917 01:05:40,410 --> 01:05:42,020 What's going on? 918 01:05:42,350 --> 01:05:46,120 You're pregnant, she's pregnant. Imagine the soup we're in now. 919 01:05:47,930 --> 01:05:49,970 What if they don't let us abort? 920 01:05:50,050 --> 01:05:52,220 Why not? They're not ruling the country. 921 01:05:52,580 --> 01:05:54,350 It's your body, do what you like. 922 01:05:55,030 --> 01:05:58,180 - Are you sure? - Sure? Hell, I'm no expert. 923 01:05:58,420 --> 01:06:00,180 This is a first for me too. 924 01:06:00,570 --> 01:06:04,350 Yes, but his wife is carrying your baby... 925 01:06:04,430 --> 01:06:07,810 - It's not a baby yet. - I know that. 926 01:06:08,980 --> 01:06:10,220 What now, Varun? 927 01:06:17,130 --> 01:06:18,680 Where's your phone? 928 01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:21,390 Password? 929 01:06:21,590 --> 01:06:22,420 00... 930 01:06:23,850 --> 01:06:24,930 0000. 931 01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:28,790 How innovative! 932 01:06:32,150 --> 01:06:35,600 Go to sleep, please. Let us sleep. 933 01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:37,970 Hola, please be quiet! 934 01:06:38,050 --> 01:06:42,180 I told you, Richa, don't call him Hola. 935 01:06:42,260 --> 01:06:44,630 - Please. - OK, OK. 936 01:06:44,770 --> 01:06:46,720 - What's wrong? - Yes, Varun? 937 01:06:46,950 --> 01:06:48,680 Sorry to call so late. 938 01:06:48,810 --> 01:06:50,890 Is your hearing on Friday in Mumbai? 939 01:06:51,230 --> 01:06:52,270 That's right. 940 01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:54,850 - Can you come on Thursday? - What's wrong? 941 01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:57,390 Just come, I'll tell you. 942 01:06:57,470 --> 01:06:59,530 Take this monster, please. 943 01:07:00,350 --> 01:07:03,310 Listen, I gotta go. I'll talk to Richa. 944 01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:05,630 Don't call him a monster. 945 01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:08,310 Varun, please, not my phone. 946 01:07:08,390 --> 01:07:09,470 OK. Sorry. 947 01:07:09,810 --> 01:07:10,970 What's wrong? 948 01:07:11,380 --> 01:07:12,520 Moni... 949 01:07:14,310 --> 01:07:15,600 ...she's definitely pregnant. 950 01:07:15,890 --> 01:07:16,970 Who? 951 01:07:17,420 --> 01:07:19,230 - That snooty chick? - Yep. 952 01:07:19,640 --> 01:07:21,390 You should be happy. 953 01:07:21,590 --> 01:07:23,890 You'll have two kids. 954 01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:26,230 Ours and theirs. 955 01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:28,890 That's all very well. 956 01:07:29,580 --> 01:07:32,930 But I'm scared they'll drop the kid. 957 01:07:33,500 --> 01:07:36,930 Not if they hold it firmly in their arms. 958 01:07:37,970 --> 01:07:39,100 I mean... 959 01:07:39,310 --> 01:07:44,840 ...I think he wants his wife to have an abortion. 960 01:07:46,230 --> 01:07:49,850 Why would they do that? Don't they fear Mother Goddess? 961 01:07:50,140 --> 01:07:53,520 He said he will not have a baby with my qualities. 962 01:07:54,430 --> 01:07:56,140 Are they crazy? 963 01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:59,120 As if they knew your fine qualities. 964 01:08:01,900 --> 01:08:03,120 What's on your mind? 965 01:08:11,390 --> 01:08:15,170 Pack our bags, Moni. We can't let them abort our child. 966 01:08:20,230 --> 01:08:22,210 What the f***! 967 01:08:23,020 --> 01:08:26,560 I mean if we let things run their course... 968 01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:30,650 ...then nine months later she'll deliver your child. 969 01:08:31,930 --> 01:08:34,200 And you'll be delivering his child. 970 01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:40,930 You recommended that guilty quack. 971 01:08:43,310 --> 01:08:46,140 I'm thinking of suing them. 972 01:08:47,390 --> 01:08:49,870 They're making a franchise out of my sperm. 973 01:08:50,270 --> 01:08:53,140 We're not suing anyone. This is not America... 974 01:08:53,770 --> 01:08:55,930 ...where you'll get a two million dollar settlement. 975 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,440 He's a famous doctor. If the media finds out... 976 01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:01,560 ...they'll have a field day. 977 01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:04,780 Our families will learn the truth. We'll be screwed. 978 01:09:05,350 --> 01:09:06,600 So what have you decided? 979 01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:09,180 What's there to decide? We're going for an abortion. 980 01:09:10,310 --> 01:09:14,390 We need your advice. Could it be legally tricky? 981 01:09:14,470 --> 01:09:16,520 No, you're married. 982 01:09:16,890 --> 01:09:21,140 On a doctor's advice, you can have an abortion within 20 weeks of pregnancy. 983 01:09:21,440 --> 01:09:23,230 If we go for an abortion... 984 01:09:23,310 --> 01:09:26,620 ...can that clown Honey sue us? 985 01:09:26,890 --> 01:09:30,020 Technically, yes. But he won't win the case. 986 01:09:30,350 --> 01:09:34,350 In pregnancy cases, the mother's rights are greater than the father's. 987 01:09:34,430 --> 01:09:37,420 So your decision will be final. 988 01:09:37,740 --> 01:09:41,270 But I suggest you go back to that doctor. 989 01:09:41,550 --> 01:09:44,680 He knows your case. It'll save you from gossip. 990 01:09:45,010 --> 01:09:46,020 Let's abort. 991 01:09:47,470 --> 01:09:48,180 Let's abort. 992 01:09:55,220 --> 01:09:56,470 Are you OK? 993 01:10:00,310 --> 01:10:01,520 Are we ready? 994 01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:06,020 While your husband fills in the form, let's get a quick scan done. Come. 995 01:10:17,970 --> 01:10:19,140 Deepti. 996 01:10:21,610 --> 01:10:23,770 See that grey dot on the screen? 997 01:10:25,060 --> 01:10:28,220 That's the baby's heart. It's beating. 998 01:10:30,930 --> 01:10:32,470 Why show it to me? 999 01:10:33,140 --> 01:10:35,890 Because I know how desperate you are to be a mother. 1000 01:10:37,850 --> 01:10:39,440 The final decision is yours. 1001 01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:43,890 I don't want to influence you, specially not in this case. 1002 01:10:44,290 --> 01:10:46,060 It's a very sensitive case. 1003 01:10:46,560 --> 01:10:51,930 But I do want you to forget everything and think about the heart... 1004 01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:54,270 ...that's beating inside you. 1005 01:10:55,090 --> 01:10:56,600 The baby's alive and kicking. 1006 01:10:59,030 --> 01:11:01,680 Think of everything you've tried. 1007 01:11:03,720 --> 01:11:06,810 It's a blessing for any woman to get pregnant. 1008 01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:09,640 But believe me, in your case... 1009 01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:11,970 ...it's a miracle! 1010 01:11:24,970 --> 01:11:26,100 Deepu. 1011 01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:32,520 Before you decide to keep the baby, imagine that baboon's face. 1012 01:11:33,230 --> 01:11:35,770 His IQ is lower than a toddler's. 1013 01:11:36,180 --> 01:11:38,020 And we're having that man's baby! 1014 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:41,520 It's not his baby, it's ours, Varun. 1015 01:11:42,060 --> 01:11:43,520 It'll grow up to be just like us. 1016 01:11:44,030 --> 01:11:49,680 Assume 5% of the baby is like him, what ditch do we jump into? 1017 01:11:51,430 --> 01:11:55,310 Look, Deepu, I realize you're feeling very emotional. 1018 01:11:55,560 --> 01:11:59,060 Rest for a few days. Then we'll go for an abortion. 1019 01:12:01,350 --> 01:12:02,600 No, Varun. 1020 01:12:03,710 --> 01:12:05,850 There's a life growing inside me. 1021 01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:09,220 I saw its heart beating with my own eyes. 1022 01:12:09,480 --> 01:12:12,350 Do you realize what a terrible thing we're doing? 1023 01:12:12,810 --> 01:12:16,770 We're killing a child. We can't be murderers. 1024 01:12:19,370 --> 01:12:21,020 Stop being so dramatic! 1025 01:12:31,310 --> 01:12:32,470 Deepu! 1026 01:12:33,390 --> 01:12:34,520 Deepu! 1027 01:12:35,180 --> 01:12:36,930 - It's them. - What? 1028 01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:39,100 The baby's father. 1029 01:12:40,790 --> 01:12:44,190 Hush! They'll ring the doorbell a few times and go. 1030 01:12:44,270 --> 01:12:47,600 - Stop talking like a kid! - They're here to talk about a kid. 1031 01:12:48,140 --> 01:12:50,270 "Deepu and Varun's home" 1032 01:12:50,350 --> 01:12:53,060 See that? Snooty show-offs! 1033 01:12:53,140 --> 01:12:55,600 We call our home "paradise." They call it "home." 1034 01:12:55,680 --> 01:12:58,560 How obvious can you get! 1035 01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,810 Go inside, I'll handle them. 1036 01:13:00,890 --> 01:13:03,520 - Let me see. - They're dangerous. 1037 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:04,930 Deepu, please. 1038 01:13:06,340 --> 01:13:08,420 Hello, sister-in-law. How are you? 1039 01:13:09,100 --> 01:13:10,680 All good. Yes? 1040 01:13:10,760 --> 01:13:13,310 - We want to talk to you. - Go on. 1041 01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:16,970 Out here? Let's talk inside. Come, Moni. 1042 01:13:17,100 --> 01:13:18,940 - Thank you, sister-in-law. - Come in. 1043 01:13:19,020 --> 01:13:22,020 Wow! Our home is better than theirs. 1044 01:13:22,690 --> 01:13:27,690 Hey, you! Hello, brother! Prefer saying hello the Indian way? 1045 01:13:27,770 --> 01:13:30,970 I knew you were old world when I read your doorplate. 1046 01:13:31,100 --> 01:13:32,390 Some delicacies for you. 1047 01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:35,970 Bet it's a bomb. 1048 01:13:36,050 --> 01:13:37,310 Varun! 1049 01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:39,840 - Excuse me. - Can we get a water, please? 1050 01:13:39,970 --> 01:13:40,970 Thank you so much. 1051 01:13:43,310 --> 01:13:45,520 - Here. - Straight from the bottle? 1052 01:13:45,850 --> 01:13:49,250 He treats us like family, not like guests. 1053 01:13:50,310 --> 01:13:52,060 - What news, brother? - Water for you. 1054 01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:54,100 How's work? 1055 01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:55,680 What do you want? 1056 01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,770 You really cut to the chase. 1057 01:13:59,640 --> 01:14:03,910 I want to talk about this weird mishap... the seed mix-up. 1058 01:14:04,060 --> 01:14:05,890 - Seed? - Spam. 1059 01:14:06,430 --> 01:14:09,680 We just want to know if my baby is safe. 1060 01:14:09,770 --> 01:14:11,810 Your baby? It's ours. 1061 01:14:11,890 --> 01:14:15,060 - But it's my spam. - And she has mine. 1062 01:14:15,140 --> 01:14:17,980 - How so? They're my eggs. - My eggs too. 1063 01:14:18,060 --> 01:14:19,270 But the spam's mine! 1064 01:14:19,350 --> 01:14:22,560 Enough of this egg-spam! Are you both nuts? What do you want? 1065 01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:27,730 I just want the baby inside her, with my spam, to be safe. 1066 01:14:27,810 --> 01:14:31,100 In return, I guarantee your spam is safe inside my wife. 1067 01:14:31,180 --> 01:14:33,230 Who cares if it's safe or not! 1068 01:14:33,310 --> 01:14:36,120 We want you to stop disturbing us. 1069 01:14:36,200 --> 01:14:38,520 Disturb? Please tell him. 1070 01:14:38,660 --> 01:14:42,020 We must know what happens once the baby is born. 1071 01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:44,390 You said you didn't want a child with my qualities. 1072 01:14:44,810 --> 01:14:48,230 Sir, we want you to give us the baby. 1073 01:14:48,310 --> 01:14:49,680 We'll take care of both children. 1074 01:14:49,760 --> 01:14:52,190 Best idea! One minute. 1075 01:14:52,270 --> 01:14:54,140 - What month are we? - March. 1076 01:14:54,220 --> 01:14:57,330 9 months means November. She'll deliver in November. 1077 01:14:57,970 --> 01:14:59,340 Just shut up! 1078 01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:01,560 - I'll talk to you later. - It's settled! 1079 01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:05,100 And you guys, get up and get lost. 1080 01:15:05,180 --> 01:15:08,220 If you ever talk such rot again... just get out! 1081 01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:10,170 Get out? Why? 1082 01:15:11,640 --> 01:15:14,850 She's the boss. If she can ask me to shut up... 1083 01:15:14,930 --> 01:15:16,720 ...why can't she ask you to get out? 1084 01:15:16,850 --> 01:15:20,020 So get up and go! Move it! 1085 01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:23,600 Crazy people. 1086 01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:25,390 Rubbish people! 1087 01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:28,720 I'm sure there's a bomb in that box. 1088 01:15:29,970 --> 01:15:32,310 - What was that, Varun? - Meaning? 1089 01:15:32,460 --> 01:15:34,810 We're a team. I was showing them our teamwork. 1090 01:15:35,180 --> 01:15:38,230 You want me to carry the child for 9 months, endure pain... 1091 01:15:38,310 --> 01:15:41,720 ...deliver the baby and then give it to them? 1092 01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,560 Do you even know how insensitive you are? 1093 01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:46,770 Insensitive? Me? 1094 01:15:47,020 --> 01:15:48,850 You're the insensitive one. 1095 01:15:49,060 --> 01:15:51,940 Who decided against abortion without consulting me? 1096 01:15:52,020 --> 01:15:53,680 Now handle the uncouth twosome. 1097 01:15:53,930 --> 01:15:55,930 They stink of mustard oil. 1098 01:15:56,270 --> 01:16:00,430 From now on I won't let the father of your child barge into my home. 1099 01:16:08,680 --> 01:16:09,850 The father of my child? 1100 01:16:10,810 --> 01:16:12,060 Your home? 1101 01:16:12,970 --> 01:16:14,180 I can't believe you, Varun. 1102 01:16:16,110 --> 01:16:18,100 So enjoy your home alone! 1103 01:16:19,020 --> 01:16:22,310 Great, I will. Now who's being sensitive? 1104 01:16:23,260 --> 01:16:24,640 Go away! 1105 01:16:25,420 --> 01:16:26,850 I'll be happy alone. 1106 01:16:28,580 --> 01:16:31,020 Love it. Wonderful. 1107 01:16:32,600 --> 01:16:33,560 Deepu! 1108 01:16:33,890 --> 01:16:34,680 Deepu! 1109 01:16:36,820 --> 01:16:37,750 Deepu. 1110 01:16:39,210 --> 01:16:40,120 Deepu. 1111 01:16:41,080 --> 01:16:42,080 Varun, let me go. 1112 01:16:42,210 --> 01:16:44,790 - Where you going? - Don't know. Let go of the door. 1113 01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:48,000 I'm sorry. It just slipped out. I'm really sorry. 1114 01:16:48,080 --> 01:16:50,580 No, Varun. It wasn't a mistake. 1115 01:16:50,750 --> 01:16:53,540 You were accusing me of having an affair with him. 1116 01:16:53,620 --> 01:16:55,840 That's enough. You don't want to be a parent. 1117 01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:59,540 - Clearly I'm forcing you. Let it be! - Not true. 1118 01:16:59,620 --> 01:17:02,710 Listen to me. Relax. Just cool down. 1119 01:17:32,330 --> 01:17:33,290 What's this? 1120 01:17:33,620 --> 01:17:34,250 Pardon me? 1121 01:17:34,460 --> 01:17:36,460 - What's going on? - What does it look like? 1122 01:17:36,750 --> 01:17:39,530 We're renting the flat above you. 1123 01:17:41,460 --> 01:17:43,870 Bunty! Unload all our things. 1124 01:17:44,580 --> 01:17:45,710 Come, Moni. 1125 01:18:06,070 --> 01:18:07,600 Slow it down! 1126 01:18:16,120 --> 01:18:17,170 Sister-in-law. 1127 01:18:18,670 --> 01:18:20,960 Good morning. Off to work? 1128 01:18:21,670 --> 01:18:23,870 Have a "Good Day" or a "Krackjack." 1129 01:18:25,170 --> 01:18:26,870 Both super biscuits! 1130 01:18:37,120 --> 01:18:39,330 But the boy's too stubborn 1131 01:18:40,380 --> 01:18:43,070 He won't cut me any slack 1132 01:18:47,620 --> 01:18:50,720 Be friends with me 1133 01:18:54,540 --> 01:18:57,370 Give your heart in return of mine 1134 01:18:59,790 --> 01:19:01,650 What a trade-off! 1135 01:19:06,420 --> 01:19:09,020 A golden deal 1136 01:19:40,540 --> 01:19:41,920 Oh my God! 1137 01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:44,700 Richa, I don't trust that Honey one bit. 1138 01:19:44,920 --> 01:19:47,290 He's a pest. We must do something. 1139 01:19:47,530 --> 01:19:48,790 Like what? 1140 01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:51,380 Legally we can't stop them from living in your building. 1141 01:19:51,560 --> 01:19:53,710 But we can stop them from claiming rights to the child. 1142 01:19:54,000 --> 01:19:55,460 Why don't we make a contract? 1143 01:19:55,660 --> 01:19:57,870 It'll say post-delivery... 1144 01:19:58,080 --> 01:20:01,540 ...they'll have no rights to our child, nor will we to theirs. 1145 01:20:01,790 --> 01:20:03,350 No contact either... 1146 01:20:03,630 --> 01:20:05,670 ...regardless of whose spam is involved. 1147 01:20:06,500 --> 01:20:08,870 I'll check the legalities and get back to you. 1148 01:20:09,080 --> 01:20:10,790 - I need a little time. - Bye. 1149 01:20:11,180 --> 01:20:14,420 You like the deal. But I don't 1150 01:20:14,500 --> 01:20:16,950 This love trade-off 1151 01:20:21,210 --> 01:20:22,790 Don't get too comfy 1152 01:20:22,870 --> 01:20:24,500 Move aside 1153 01:20:24,580 --> 01:20:26,890 Don't spoil my mood 1154 01:20:29,210 --> 01:20:31,440 When you touched my heart 1155 01:20:32,750 --> 01:20:35,060 This Jatt became all sentimental 1156 01:20:39,580 --> 01:20:42,870 Be friends with me 1157 01:20:46,710 --> 01:20:49,420 Give your heart in return of mine 1158 01:20:51,960 --> 01:20:54,030 What a trade-off! 1159 01:21:01,750 --> 01:21:05,210 You must rest. Take time off. To hell with work! 1160 01:21:05,290 --> 01:21:06,710 You're in your third month. 1161 01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:09,710 Have a safe lift, sister-in-law. 1162 01:21:11,510 --> 01:21:12,870 These ladies...! 1163 01:21:13,370 --> 01:21:16,610 A golden deal 1164 01:21:22,920 --> 01:21:23,620 Sister-in-law. 1165 01:21:56,210 --> 01:21:58,960 Hi! The contract's here. 1166 01:22:15,670 --> 01:22:17,010 I think we should call them. 1167 01:22:47,120 --> 01:22:48,130 Varun! 1168 01:22:48,550 --> 01:22:50,080 Varun, open the door! 1169 01:22:53,120 --> 01:22:54,670 Work in progress. 1170 01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:03,080 That's good. 1171 01:23:05,040 --> 01:23:06,500 Forgot to flush? 1172 01:23:06,750 --> 01:23:09,460 I'm so stressed, nothing happened. Is that OK by you? 1173 01:23:09,660 --> 01:23:12,210 I knew you smoked but now you're smoking a ***? 1174 01:23:12,290 --> 01:23:16,170 Yes, Miss Sherlock Holmes. OK. I smoked a ***. 1175 01:23:16,250 --> 01:23:19,080 - It's your fault. - My fault? 1176 01:23:19,160 --> 01:23:22,420 It's your fault they barged into our lives. 1177 01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:25,840 If you had taken my advice and had an abortion... 1178 01:23:25,920 --> 01:23:28,460 - ...we wouldn't have to see this day. - Relax. 1179 01:23:28,790 --> 01:23:34,200 We need them to sign the contract. Then we can go our separate ways. 1180 01:23:35,560 --> 01:23:37,480 Sh**! They're here. 1181 01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:40,370 - Relax, Varun. It's fine. - Relax? 1182 01:23:40,920 --> 01:23:42,790 It'll be all over today. 1183 01:23:43,330 --> 01:23:44,790 We've got this. 1184 01:23:46,540 --> 01:23:47,960 Teamwork? 1185 01:23:49,120 --> 01:23:50,250 Teamwork! 1186 01:23:52,040 --> 01:23:55,370 - Will you get the door? - Sure! I'm the man of the house. 1187 01:23:59,330 --> 01:24:00,750 Hello, brother. How are you? 1188 01:24:00,830 --> 01:24:02,330 Very well. Come in. 1189 01:24:04,920 --> 01:24:07,670 - Should I take my shoes off? - No need. Barge in. 1190 01:24:07,750 --> 01:24:08,880 We'll take our shoes off. 1191 01:24:08,960 --> 01:24:11,790 The less bacteria entering the house the better. Think of the babies! 1192 01:24:12,610 --> 01:24:14,960 Can't stop all the bacteria. 1193 01:24:15,040 --> 01:24:18,370 Pulling my leg! Wanna try the other leg? 1194 01:24:18,450 --> 01:24:20,040 Brother, I must thank you. 1195 01:24:20,170 --> 01:24:22,830 I know it's for the contract, but at least you invited us home. 1196 01:24:22,910 --> 01:24:25,430 - Thank you. - Sit down. 1197 01:24:25,710 --> 01:24:27,750 Come, Moni. Thank you, sir. 1198 01:24:28,500 --> 01:24:30,170 He's in a good mood. 1199 01:24:32,170 --> 01:24:33,740 Easy. 1200 01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:39,750 Listen. Ask where the toilet is. 1201 01:24:39,890 --> 01:24:43,040 But you just went. How many times in a day do you go? 1202 01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:45,340 I'll make you a portable toilet. 1203 01:24:45,420 --> 01:24:46,920 A kind of takeaway. 1204 01:24:47,000 --> 01:24:48,670 I can't control it. 1205 01:24:48,750 --> 01:24:51,210 - Ask! - Be patient. Let them come back. 1206 01:24:51,290 --> 01:24:52,920 Who can I ask? The walls? 1207 01:24:53,670 --> 01:24:58,500 His laugh makes my whole body shake with disgust. 1208 01:24:59,740 --> 01:25:01,790 I'm dying to punch him. 1209 01:25:03,170 --> 01:25:04,000 Relax! 1210 01:25:05,990 --> 01:25:07,250 Namaste. 1211 01:25:07,670 --> 01:25:10,040 Tea? Coffee? Juice? 1212 01:25:10,340 --> 01:25:11,490 Nothing, thank you. 1213 01:25:11,570 --> 01:25:13,000 Can I get a beer, please? 1214 01:25:21,120 --> 01:25:22,290 Varun. 1215 01:25:27,370 --> 01:25:28,710 Coming up. 1216 01:25:34,790 --> 01:25:37,790 Beer is basically barley water. 1217 01:25:37,870 --> 01:25:39,920 Rewires your gut. 1218 01:25:42,580 --> 01:25:43,670 Hear that? 1219 01:25:45,920 --> 01:25:47,380 Good shot, sister-in-law. 1220 01:25:47,460 --> 01:25:48,920 Isn't she cute? 1221 01:25:49,500 --> 01:25:51,170 My wife breaks wind. 1222 01:25:51,250 --> 01:25:55,250 In pregnancy, the belly's like a soda spraying gas bubbles. 1223 01:25:55,330 --> 01:25:57,810 I'm sure you fart too. 1224 01:26:03,790 --> 01:26:04,640 Varun! 1225 01:26:05,980 --> 01:26:07,460 The toilet, please? 1226 01:26:07,540 --> 01:26:09,120 Good idea. 1227 01:26:09,910 --> 01:26:10,750 Hello? 1228 01:26:10,830 --> 01:26:13,710 - Come. - Easy does it! 1229 01:26:15,530 --> 01:26:17,670 Careful. You might fart again. 1230 01:26:23,490 --> 01:26:25,080 Varun's in a good mood today. 1231 01:26:25,160 --> 01:26:26,420 Come, Mrs Batra. 1232 01:26:26,990 --> 01:26:29,870 The toilet. The light switch is to your left. 1233 01:26:31,830 --> 01:26:35,250 If you need anything, call. 1234 01:26:52,070 --> 01:26:54,920 I forgot! Sister-in-law, some laddoos. 1235 01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:56,210 My mother made them. 1236 01:26:56,370 --> 01:26:59,370 - Does your Mummy know? - No. She made them for Moni. 1237 01:26:59,540 --> 01:27:01,620 I thought I'd give you some. 1238 01:27:03,500 --> 01:27:04,710 Put them down. 1239 01:27:15,040 --> 01:27:16,290 All well? 1240 01:27:17,820 --> 01:27:20,670 Could you call my husband, please? 1241 01:27:24,080 --> 01:27:25,290 OK. 1242 01:27:28,120 --> 01:27:30,790 - Never mind. - What is it? 1243 01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:33,320 Your 'flesh' isn't working. 1244 01:27:35,960 --> 01:27:39,260 It's not like our 'flesh.' 1245 01:27:43,170 --> 01:27:45,160 What's so funny? 1246 01:27:47,880 --> 01:27:49,370 'Flesh!' 1247 01:27:51,870 --> 01:27:53,120 Sorry. 1248 01:27:53,650 --> 01:27:55,620 You have a nice library. 1249 01:27:58,370 --> 01:28:02,920 If you prefer Hindi books, they're over there. 1250 01:28:03,000 --> 01:28:05,420 No, I read English novels too. 1251 01:28:06,040 --> 01:28:09,020 I did my English Horrors at Guru Nanak Dev University. 1252 01:28:13,140 --> 01:28:18,850 If you'd like to have one of my books, it will be my 'horror.' 1253 01:28:23,070 --> 01:28:26,860 - Sister-in-law, are you OK? - Yes. 1254 01:28:27,070 --> 01:28:30,960 You have strong arms. My child will have them too. 1255 01:28:31,040 --> 01:28:33,430 - Varun! - The police are here. 1256 01:28:33,710 --> 01:28:35,160 He was just helping me. 1257 01:28:36,250 --> 01:28:38,170 So helpful, isn't he? 1258 01:28:38,590 --> 01:28:40,120 Can I borrow this book? 1259 01:28:40,250 --> 01:28:41,820 "Sweaty Nights." 1260 01:28:45,080 --> 01:28:48,790 Forget it. Actually, I've already read it. 1261 01:28:49,040 --> 01:28:51,580 - I'll be off. - "Sweaty Nights!" 1262 01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:56,710 That clown was trying to feed me homemade laddoos... 1263 01:28:56,790 --> 01:28:59,290 ...and you're smoking a *** and flirting with his wife. 1264 01:28:59,370 --> 01:29:03,040 I wasn't flirting. But I can't stop laughing. 1265 01:29:03,120 --> 01:29:05,790 She's so darn funny. 1266 01:29:05,870 --> 01:29:09,280 Varun, I don't want us to kill each other in front of them. 1267 01:29:09,420 --> 01:29:12,250 So let's get it over with. Where's the contract? 1268 01:29:14,760 --> 01:29:17,710 Above "Sweaty Nights." 1269 01:29:21,750 --> 01:29:23,420 And listen... 1270 01:29:23,500 --> 01:29:25,670 Don't talk in front of them. 1271 01:29:27,750 --> 01:29:29,120 Ridiculous. 1272 01:29:43,120 --> 01:29:45,330 Doesn't he look weird today? 1273 01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:52,610 Here's the contract. Varun mentioned it. 1274 01:29:52,750 --> 01:29:54,620 Yes. That's why we're here. 1275 01:29:55,000 --> 01:29:57,210 When your husband told me about it... 1276 01:29:57,290 --> 01:29:59,580 ...I asked my lawyer to make us a contract too. 1277 01:30:00,020 --> 01:30:02,920 We read yours, you read ours. 1278 01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:04,330 Moni, give them. 1279 01:30:04,890 --> 01:30:06,230 Here you go. 1280 01:30:07,340 --> 01:30:08,500 Moni will read it. 1281 01:30:08,790 --> 01:30:11,850 Moni's done her 'Horrors' in English. 1282 01:30:13,980 --> 01:30:16,890 - Good. Good. Good. - Thank you. 1283 01:30:39,750 --> 01:30:41,210 What's this nonsense? 1284 01:30:41,450 --> 01:30:45,170 That many English words can only mean the contract's dodgy. 1285 01:30:45,320 --> 01:30:47,000 Should've written it in French. 1286 01:30:47,080 --> 01:30:49,990 No, sister-in-law. We can't sign something we don't understand. 1287 01:30:50,070 --> 01:30:51,830 Shut up! What's this? 1288 01:30:52,040 --> 01:30:55,800 If it's a girl or boy, it'll go to a convent school and college in Canada. 1289 01:30:56,160 --> 01:30:59,340 When it grows up, it'll be an athlete or rapper. 1290 01:30:59,420 --> 01:31:00,170 So? 1291 01:31:00,250 --> 01:31:03,040 His father is sprinter Milkha Singh's fan. 1292 01:31:03,120 --> 01:31:04,460 We're rapper Honey Singh's fans! 1293 01:31:06,360 --> 01:31:08,580 Is this a prank or a contract? 1294 01:31:08,660 --> 01:31:10,130 A prank? 1295 01:31:10,210 --> 01:31:13,520 Just because we're a cute couple, you're accusing us of the worst. 1296 01:31:14,790 --> 01:31:17,170 Varun, will you say something? 1297 01:31:18,370 --> 01:31:22,350 I was wondering about that kid's future. 1298 01:31:22,430 --> 01:31:25,040 Don't worry. Our minds are made up. 1299 01:31:25,120 --> 01:31:27,340 - Tell them! - Athlete or rapper. 1300 01:31:29,290 --> 01:31:30,420 Shut up, guys! 1301 01:31:30,900 --> 01:31:32,760 You want to know what's in this contract? 1302 01:31:34,330 --> 01:31:38,000 Our contract says you will not come anywhere near our child. 1303 01:31:38,170 --> 01:31:39,750 No more contact with us. 1304 01:31:39,880 --> 01:31:43,790 We'll have no rights on your child, nor will you have on ours. 1305 01:31:47,750 --> 01:31:49,120 Take the pen. 1306 01:31:51,540 --> 01:31:53,440 Here's a pen. Sign it. 1307 01:31:53,910 --> 01:31:58,670 We wanted to be friends with you, but you want nothing to do with us. 1308 01:31:58,750 --> 01:32:00,650 - Just sign it now. - Moni... 1309 01:32:04,620 --> 01:32:06,500 Wait, let me show them. 1310 01:32:07,140 --> 01:32:08,870 The pen's covered in earwax. 1311 01:32:12,270 --> 01:32:14,250 Here's my angry signature. 1312 01:32:15,180 --> 01:32:17,370 If you don't care about your child... 1313 01:32:17,450 --> 01:32:20,370 ...it doesn't mean we don't care about ours. 1314 01:32:20,790 --> 01:32:22,930 Get out! 1315 01:32:24,840 --> 01:32:25,750 Varun! 1316 01:32:27,750 --> 01:32:29,870 - Get out! - You get out, my friend. 1317 01:32:30,480 --> 01:32:32,730 - This is our house. - Then get in! 1318 01:32:35,060 --> 01:32:39,310 All they can say is "Get out!" We're not coming back. 1319 01:32:41,360 --> 01:32:42,750 I don't get this guy. 1320 01:32:42,830 --> 01:32:45,880 Sister-in-law, how about a selfie? My 'flush' is on. 1321 01:32:45,960 --> 01:32:48,040 - I'll selfie you. - My 'flush' is on. 1322 01:32:48,120 --> 01:32:50,750 - Varun, just stop it! - Sister-in-law... 1323 01:32:54,180 --> 01:32:56,340 I read their contract last night. 1324 01:32:57,070 --> 01:32:59,800 It tells us how to raise the kid. 1325 01:32:59,880 --> 01:33:02,760 It even says that until he's 16... 1326 01:33:02,840 --> 01:33:06,930 ...we must feed him clarified butter to make his bones strong. 1327 01:33:07,010 --> 01:33:08,680 What a character, man! 1328 01:33:08,760 --> 01:33:11,680 You really chose a weirdo for the sperm swap. 1329 01:33:11,930 --> 01:33:15,140 I keep seeing the Sardar's face in my dreams. 1330 01:33:15,580 --> 01:33:18,390 Who's that Sardar behind you? 1331 01:33:18,580 --> 01:33:20,510 - Not funny. - Just look! 1332 01:33:21,360 --> 01:33:22,840 Sir, the meeting... 1333 01:33:25,580 --> 01:33:28,640 I'm coming. Tell them I'm watching 'Kesari'. 1334 01:33:32,790 --> 01:33:34,340 What's Honey's problem? 1335 01:33:34,850 --> 01:33:35,970 What does he want from us? 1336 01:33:36,460 --> 01:33:39,550 Not from you. He wants the kid growing inside your wife. 1337 01:33:39,770 --> 01:33:42,630 You know, blood is thicker than water. 1338 01:33:42,880 --> 01:33:44,090 Shut up! 1339 01:33:44,240 --> 01:33:47,090 Don't tell me you don't feel emotional when... 1340 01:33:47,170 --> 01:33:49,970 ...you see Monika's bump. That's your child. 1341 01:33:50,710 --> 01:33:51,870 Your biological child. 1342 01:33:53,930 --> 01:33:55,280 No. I don't. 1343 01:33:58,420 --> 01:34:01,670 I have a meeting. Talk to you guys later. Bye. 1344 01:34:10,250 --> 01:34:11,870 I'm seven months pregnant... 1345 01:34:12,370 --> 01:34:14,580 ...but there's been no movement, doctor. 1346 01:34:14,920 --> 01:34:17,620 The baby should've kicked by now. 1347 01:34:18,260 --> 01:34:22,040 Maybe it has. But you were too busy to feel it. 1348 01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:23,870 What are you saying, doctor? 1349 01:34:24,520 --> 01:34:26,540 The baby is all I think about. 1350 01:34:26,920 --> 01:34:30,500 When I'm at work, I think about it all the time. 1351 01:34:31,330 --> 01:34:32,960 I won't miss it for anything at all. 1352 01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:35,210 I'm glad. 1353 01:34:35,500 --> 01:34:40,640 Good you're busy and not stressed out like other moms. 1354 01:34:45,480 --> 01:34:46,830 Actually... 1355 01:34:48,000 --> 01:34:51,290 ...may I see the file of the baby's biological father? 1356 01:34:52,130 --> 01:34:53,790 His medical history. 1357 01:34:57,640 --> 01:34:59,670 I'm sorry, Deepti, that's confidential. 1358 01:35:01,910 --> 01:35:04,250 Relax! Your child's perfectly healthy. 1359 01:35:04,330 --> 01:35:06,790 If there was a problem, I would've told you. 1360 01:35:07,170 --> 01:35:10,250 It's just that I don't know anything about those people. 1361 01:35:11,240 --> 01:35:12,960 It scares me. 1362 01:35:13,210 --> 01:35:15,000 So get to know them. 1363 01:35:18,120 --> 01:35:22,710 If you made this journey together, It would be easier on everyone. 1364 01:35:26,120 --> 01:35:28,420 You're not the only one who's scared. 1365 01:35:29,120 --> 01:35:30,800 Monika's scared too. 1366 01:35:31,120 --> 01:35:32,290 Really? 1367 01:35:33,110 --> 01:35:35,740 She looks so relaxed like she was pregnant every year. 1368 01:35:39,420 --> 01:35:41,500 Hello, aunty. How are you? 1369 01:35:43,210 --> 01:35:46,330 Are you at a kitty party? 1370 01:35:47,170 --> 01:35:50,550 No problem. I just called. 1371 01:35:51,830 --> 01:35:54,670 We'll come to see you with your grandchild. 1372 01:35:54,830 --> 01:35:57,500 OK. Bye. 1373 01:36:17,000 --> 01:36:18,460 Sister-in-law? 1374 01:36:19,720 --> 01:36:22,660 - Come in, sister-in-law. - Want some street food? 1375 01:36:23,690 --> 01:36:24,830 Street food? 1376 01:36:31,620 --> 01:36:32,780 What's wrong? 1377 01:36:33,210 --> 01:36:34,960 - It reminds me of... - What? 1378 01:36:36,960 --> 01:36:38,500 Chandigarh street food. 1379 01:36:46,370 --> 01:36:47,090 Yes, madam? 1380 01:36:47,170 --> 01:36:49,540 Two sour, two sweet. Two mixed 'gol gappe.' 1381 01:36:49,620 --> 01:36:51,680 You have dry ones too? 1382 01:37:04,090 --> 01:37:05,940 How long have you tried for a child? 1383 01:37:06,640 --> 01:37:08,720 - Six years. - Are you serious? 1384 01:37:09,960 --> 01:37:11,920 I was pregnant twice. 1385 01:37:12,880 --> 01:37:14,310 But I had two miscarriages. 1386 01:37:17,220 --> 01:37:18,710 And you kept trying? 1387 01:37:20,180 --> 01:37:22,620 Are children more important than your health? 1388 01:37:24,240 --> 01:37:25,540 Why didn't you adopt? 1389 01:37:27,960 --> 01:37:30,270 Blood's thicker than water. 1390 01:37:59,370 --> 01:38:00,620 Hello, brother! 1391 01:38:02,120 --> 01:38:03,670 Sorry, I'm a little late. 1392 01:38:03,750 --> 01:38:07,100 Mumbai traffic! Cars now double up as second homes. 1393 01:38:07,920 --> 01:38:09,740 Why call me here? 1394 01:38:10,330 --> 01:38:11,920 Leaving everything aside... 1395 01:38:12,000 --> 01:38:13,750 I want to thank you for coming. 1396 01:38:16,620 --> 01:38:18,710 We moved here seven months ago... 1397 01:38:18,790 --> 01:38:21,000 ...but we've never talked, man-to-man. 1398 01:38:21,120 --> 01:38:23,290 So meeting here is good. 1399 01:38:23,370 --> 01:38:26,340 Because it's 'get out' when we visit you! 1400 01:38:28,120 --> 01:38:30,350 You know all that. 1401 01:38:30,600 --> 01:38:34,000 What's happened to us is beyond belief. No doubt. 1402 01:38:34,080 --> 01:38:37,870 But I'm glad my spam swam into good people. 1403 01:38:40,290 --> 01:38:44,040 My spam was running in the wrong race but it won. 1404 01:38:45,290 --> 01:38:48,170 So what will you drink? Sonny! 1405 01:38:49,370 --> 01:38:51,960 Two large whiskeys. Soda or water? 1406 01:38:52,210 --> 01:38:53,250 It's only 6:30. 1407 01:38:53,330 --> 01:38:55,550 That's why I ask. Soda or water? Otherwise it's neat, no? 1408 01:38:57,370 --> 01:39:00,490 Get me a strawberry Daiquiri, a virgin. 1409 01:39:00,830 --> 01:39:01,870 A what Daiquiri? 1410 01:39:03,870 --> 01:39:05,380 - Never mind. - Alright. 1411 01:39:07,330 --> 01:39:10,880 I can't say cheers with a Daiquiri. 1412 01:39:10,960 --> 01:39:13,380 No way. Just look at the color. 1413 01:39:13,460 --> 01:39:15,950 - Have a proper drink. - No. 1414 01:39:16,170 --> 01:39:18,350 - Don't say no. - No, no. 1415 01:39:18,500 --> 01:39:20,330 Please, my brother. 1416 01:39:21,620 --> 01:39:22,880 A small one. 1417 01:39:22,960 --> 01:39:25,800 We won't get sozzled. Same for him. 1418 01:39:28,730 --> 01:39:29,620 Brother... 1419 01:39:30,920 --> 01:39:31,950 Cheers! 1420 01:39:37,750 --> 01:39:39,520 Is your husband attached to the child? 1421 01:39:42,280 --> 01:39:43,370 I don't know. 1422 01:39:44,840 --> 01:39:45,810 And Honey? 1423 01:39:46,750 --> 01:39:50,870 He's attached, but he's more concerned about you. 1424 01:39:55,080 --> 01:39:56,510 Don't you feel bad? 1425 01:39:58,920 --> 01:40:00,420 I do. 1426 01:40:11,430 --> 01:40:13,180 - Oh no. - What's wrong? 1427 01:40:13,960 --> 01:40:17,800 The baby kicked again. It's getting naughty. 1428 01:40:27,370 --> 01:40:30,150 Come on, brother. Please. 1429 01:40:32,750 --> 01:40:37,310 You're the talk of the town, my Chandigarh boy! 1430 01:40:39,460 --> 01:40:44,190 The cop at the crossroads sighs when he sees you 1431 01:40:46,330 --> 01:40:48,960 You with the mole on your chin 1432 01:40:51,040 --> 01:40:53,000 It's like the spot on the moon 1433 01:40:53,080 --> 01:40:54,960 Those black shades of yours 1434 01:40:57,620 --> 01:41:00,000 Boy, do they look cool on you! 1435 01:41:00,120 --> 01:41:02,210 They stand out on your fair skin 1436 01:41:12,830 --> 01:41:15,130 - Brother, one kiss! - No, no. 1437 01:41:17,080 --> 01:41:19,850 - Brother, one kiss. - Are you nuts? 1438 01:41:20,580 --> 01:41:23,620 All the tension has gone now! 1439 01:41:25,790 --> 01:41:27,120 Can I say something? 1440 01:41:27,500 --> 01:41:29,130 That doctor... 1441 01:41:29,780 --> 01:41:33,210 Joshi is not a doctor, he's just shifty. 1442 01:41:33,420 --> 01:41:34,710 Yes, shifty. 1443 01:41:35,080 --> 01:41:42,830 He said, "Mr Batra, we'll take the eggs, the sperm, no, spam... 1444 01:41:42,910 --> 01:41:46,710 "...you sit at home and your baby will be born in our lab." 1445 01:41:46,790 --> 01:41:49,000 I was blown away. 1446 01:41:49,290 --> 01:41:51,080 The miracles of modern science! 1447 01:41:51,290 --> 01:41:53,710 The parents lazing at home... 1448 01:41:53,790 --> 01:41:57,000 ...and this character's creating lab babies. 1449 01:41:57,080 --> 01:41:58,620 95% success. 1450 01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:02,540 I've learned words I never thought existed. 1451 01:42:02,670 --> 01:42:06,300 Like 'ovary.' It reminds me of that song... 1452 01:42:06,750 --> 01:42:11,640 Ovary! Dancing wildly in the garden at midnight 1453 01:42:17,540 --> 01:42:21,670 By the way, it's not 'ovary!' It's 'morni,' a peahen. 1454 01:42:21,750 --> 01:42:23,830 Ovary sounds better. 1455 01:42:25,580 --> 01:42:27,040 By the way, tell me... 1456 01:42:27,830 --> 01:42:33,720 Has my...I mean, your kid started kicking? 1457 01:42:36,000 --> 01:42:38,210 I have no idea. 1458 01:42:38,750 --> 01:42:44,080 You people are great, but something's bothering me. 1459 01:42:44,750 --> 01:42:48,060 Don't mind, brother. God has done what He had to. 1460 01:42:48,540 --> 01:42:54,320 But what worries me is your negligence might harm my child. 1461 01:42:59,540 --> 01:43:02,040 - Excuse me? - Nothing to excuse you about. 1462 01:43:02,120 --> 01:43:05,370 Sister-in-law is seven months pregnant and she's still working. 1463 01:43:05,500 --> 01:43:07,790 She won't stop. You can't take the money with you. 1464 01:43:09,670 --> 01:43:11,080 It's her decision. 1465 01:43:12,960 --> 01:43:14,870 - Don't get personal. - Personal? 1466 01:43:15,170 --> 01:43:18,710 My spam is inside your wife, your spam is inside Moni. 1467 01:43:18,790 --> 01:43:20,120 What's more personal? 1468 01:43:23,830 --> 01:43:25,170 What's this nonsense? 1469 01:43:26,700 --> 01:43:28,580 You called me here for this? 1470 01:43:28,830 --> 01:43:30,080 Brother... 1471 01:43:32,040 --> 01:43:33,580 I wouldn't lie to you. 1472 01:43:33,920 --> 01:43:36,580 I called you here 'cos I'm worried about my baby. 1473 01:43:36,870 --> 01:43:39,670 What with your wife working, if anything happens to my kid... 1474 01:43:39,900 --> 01:43:41,210 ...I'll teach you a lesson. 1475 01:43:41,290 --> 01:43:44,090 Who are you to teach me a lesson? 1476 01:43:44,170 --> 01:43:47,290 I've put with your clowning, but don't talk rubbish. 1477 01:43:47,370 --> 01:43:48,330 Sir, please. 1478 01:43:48,620 --> 01:43:51,500 - We have other customers. - To hell with the customers! 1479 01:43:51,580 --> 01:43:53,840 I haven't started yet. 1480 01:43:53,920 --> 01:43:57,770 You don't even know if your child has kicked. 1481 01:43:57,920 --> 01:44:01,540 And you want me to sign a contract giving you my child... 1482 01:44:01,620 --> 01:44:02,960 ...and never meet the baby. 1483 01:44:03,040 --> 01:44:08,440 If my spam ends up with reckless people, wouldn't it worry me? 1484 01:44:08,750 --> 01:44:10,500 I shouldn't have come here. 1485 01:44:10,960 --> 01:44:15,730 I'm disgusted at the thought the kid will look like you. 1486 01:44:16,710 --> 01:44:17,790 Hear that? 1487 01:44:17,870 --> 01:44:20,340 His kid will look like me! 1488 01:44:20,420 --> 01:44:22,630 Why are you laughing? 1489 01:44:22,710 --> 01:44:25,980 Your child will look like me! 1490 01:44:26,620 --> 01:44:28,760 - So? - So what? 1491 01:44:29,710 --> 01:44:32,750 Sir! You're disturbing the other customers. 1492 01:44:33,000 --> 01:44:34,920 Please leave or I'll call the police. 1493 01:44:35,000 --> 01:44:37,710 I'm the real Batra, I don't budge. 1494 01:44:37,790 --> 01:44:41,250 And this Batra won't go till he's finished his drink. 1495 01:44:43,960 --> 01:44:46,500 That's the real Batra for you. Call the cops if you want. 1496 01:44:46,580 --> 01:44:47,590 Useless! 1497 01:44:47,670 --> 01:44:51,870 You English-talking smartass! Get out! 1498 01:44:52,330 --> 01:44:54,600 He loves saying "Get out." 1499 01:44:55,330 --> 01:44:56,870 Bring me my peg. 1500 01:44:59,420 --> 01:45:02,290 - What you staring at? - Hello, police? 1501 01:45:14,370 --> 01:45:16,920 - Baby, are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine. 1502 01:45:22,040 --> 01:45:23,210 I saw Monika today. 1503 01:45:25,870 --> 01:45:27,960 Her child has started kicking. 1504 01:45:28,350 --> 01:45:30,920 But ours hasn't. 1505 01:45:32,290 --> 01:45:34,090 Dr Joshi said everything was fine. 1506 01:45:34,330 --> 01:45:37,130 It's the seventh month. It should've kicked by now. 1507 01:45:37,750 --> 01:45:39,670 Kick. Kick. Kick! 1508 01:45:39,750 --> 01:45:42,790 My sperm was mixed up with Honey's sperm, not Ronaldo's. 1509 01:45:43,170 --> 01:45:46,420 That's all you can talk about. 1510 01:45:47,440 --> 01:45:52,040 Can't breathe in peace without hearing about those clowns. 1511 01:45:53,040 --> 01:45:54,330 I'm exhausted. 1512 01:46:25,460 --> 01:46:26,620 I'm sorry. 1513 01:46:29,080 --> 01:46:30,120 It's OK. 1514 01:46:32,710 --> 01:46:34,620 Mom and Dad are coming next week. 1515 01:46:36,240 --> 01:46:38,080 They wanted to give you a surprise. 1516 01:46:39,670 --> 01:46:41,250 They sounded so excited. 1517 01:46:42,790 --> 01:46:44,580 I didn't know how to stop them. 1518 01:46:46,420 --> 01:46:47,870 You don't need to. 1519 01:46:48,250 --> 01:46:50,580 They're your parents after all. Of course they'd be excited. 1520 01:46:53,580 --> 01:46:56,170 Don't behave like everything's normal. 1521 01:46:57,500 --> 01:46:59,750 Everything could be normal, Varun. 1522 01:47:00,790 --> 01:47:03,550 Don't you feel attached to this child? 1523 01:47:03,710 --> 01:47:05,000 No, I don't. 1524 01:47:05,210 --> 01:47:07,740 I don't. So hang me. 1525 01:47:09,170 --> 01:47:11,290 You'll be carrying it for nine months. 1526 01:47:11,370 --> 01:47:15,620 Naturally you'll feel attached. I get it. But I don't feel it. 1527 01:47:19,020 --> 01:47:23,000 Let those clowns have the baby. Makes no difference to me. 1528 01:47:33,910 --> 01:47:37,460 You've said that before, but you're right. 1529 01:47:39,340 --> 01:47:43,170 It wouldn't affect you if I gave them the baby. 1530 01:47:44,150 --> 01:47:48,120 Getting pregnant, carrying a baby? No big deal. 1531 01:47:49,080 --> 01:47:50,960 One has to endure a little pain. 1532 01:47:51,040 --> 01:47:55,920 Minor problems. Falling hair, facial boils, body rash, endless injections. 1533 01:47:56,670 --> 01:48:01,130 Your bladder can't hold your pee because of the baby's weight. 1534 01:48:01,210 --> 01:48:02,710 Fever, cold, cough. 1535 01:48:02,960 --> 01:48:06,090 And under no circumstance take any medicine. It'll harm the baby. 1536 01:48:06,170 --> 01:48:08,870 That's no big deal either. 1537 01:48:09,870 --> 01:48:12,340 Can't wear your favorite clothes, nothing fits. 1538 01:48:12,420 --> 01:48:14,710 Can't eat your favorite food, not allowed. 1539 01:48:14,790 --> 01:48:17,840 Depression, mood swings. We endure it all... 1540 01:48:17,920 --> 01:48:20,040 ...so no one gets upset. 1541 01:48:21,500 --> 01:48:25,000 A mother sacrifices her body for those nine months. 1542 01:48:26,580 --> 01:48:31,670 And you can't even imagine the labor pain. 1543 01:48:33,330 --> 01:48:35,960 But we take it all with a smile. 1544 01:48:39,670 --> 01:48:40,960 Because we know... 1545 01:48:42,830 --> 01:48:45,170 ...when we see the baby for the first time... 1546 01:48:47,580 --> 01:48:49,670 ...it'll all be worth it. 1547 01:48:50,120 --> 01:48:54,040 But a man's contribution during pregnancy? 1548 01:48:54,460 --> 01:48:56,770 A cool "Ah, baby, I've come." 1549 01:48:59,280 --> 01:49:02,120 I'm sure none of this ever crossed your mind. 1550 01:49:04,210 --> 01:49:06,370 Because you were never on the same page, Varun. 1551 01:49:07,830 --> 01:49:12,920 You were busy thinking about how to get them off your back. 1552 01:49:20,210 --> 01:49:21,870 You call this good news, Varun? 1553 01:49:22,620 --> 01:49:27,460 Since we heard the news, there's been nothing good between us. 1554 01:49:57,510 --> 01:50:00,760 Take me to the hospital. He isn't at home. 1555 01:50:01,300 --> 01:50:02,670 His phone is switched off. 1556 01:50:03,170 --> 01:50:04,540 I'm dying. 1557 01:50:05,500 --> 01:50:06,410 Deepu! 1558 01:50:06,840 --> 01:50:07,770 Deepu! 1559 01:50:11,000 --> 01:50:13,420 O Mother Goddess, help me... 1560 01:50:13,500 --> 01:50:15,330 Varun, hurry up. 1561 01:50:19,840 --> 01:50:20,920 What happened? 1562 01:50:21,460 --> 01:50:22,510 A kick! 1563 01:50:22,590 --> 01:50:24,880 Careful, sister-in-law. Deepu's pregnant too. 1564 01:50:25,250 --> 01:50:27,030 Our baby kicked. 1565 01:50:27,380 --> 01:50:28,420 Oh...OK. 1566 01:50:28,500 --> 01:50:29,880 Congratulations, sister-in-law. 1567 01:50:30,940 --> 01:50:34,070 - Brother, please be quick. - Varun, hurry up. 1568 01:50:42,590 --> 01:50:45,720 - She's gone into labor. - It's only her seventh month, doctor. 1569 01:50:46,500 --> 01:50:48,030 The baby's premature. 1570 01:50:48,250 --> 01:50:50,670 She has a history of miscarriages. 1571 01:50:50,920 --> 01:50:54,510 Anyway, complete the formalities. Try and contact her husband. 1572 01:50:54,590 --> 01:50:56,590 I have. He isn't answering. 1573 01:50:57,170 --> 01:50:58,670 Has the pediatrician come? 1574 01:51:00,380 --> 01:51:03,390 I suggest you go home. Try and relax. OK? 1575 01:51:06,460 --> 01:51:07,510 Will it be alright? 1576 01:51:07,590 --> 01:51:10,000 Everything will be fine. Don't stress. 1577 01:51:10,420 --> 01:51:12,210 I'll wait till Honey shows up. 1578 01:51:13,170 --> 01:51:15,490 Drive carefully. 1579 01:51:30,040 --> 01:51:31,250 Mr Batra? 1580 01:51:32,880 --> 01:51:34,340 Are you the father? 1581 01:51:35,670 --> 01:51:38,210 No, he's on his way. 1582 01:51:38,840 --> 01:51:40,300 Send him in as soon as he gets here. 1583 01:51:40,380 --> 01:51:41,790 How's the child? 1584 01:51:43,380 --> 01:51:46,150 It's serious. She's in an incubator. 1585 01:51:47,130 --> 01:51:48,090 She? 1586 01:51:48,870 --> 01:51:50,250 Do you want to see her? 1587 01:51:50,960 --> 01:51:52,670 Follow me. 1588 01:52:16,210 --> 01:52:17,210 Mr Batra... 1589 01:52:18,630 --> 01:52:19,560 Come. 1590 01:52:32,380 --> 01:52:34,670 Some premature infants cannot swallow or breathe properly... 1591 01:52:34,790 --> 01:52:36,880 ...so they're fed intravenously. 1592 01:52:53,630 --> 01:52:55,210 Will she make it? 1593 01:53:00,710 --> 01:53:02,290 Can't say. 1594 01:53:04,920 --> 01:53:06,540 It seems difficult. 1595 01:53:07,290 --> 01:53:09,710 We'll keep her in the ICU. 1596 01:53:54,920 --> 01:53:57,130 Brother, you have a girl. 1597 01:54:40,590 --> 01:54:41,500 Moni... 1598 01:54:49,040 --> 01:54:50,500 Have you seen her? 1599 01:54:53,210 --> 01:54:55,440 Let me see Chuhiya just once. 1600 01:54:58,090 --> 01:54:59,880 You named her without me. 1601 01:55:01,040 --> 01:55:06,510 She's so small. So tiny. Like a little mouse. 1602 01:55:08,540 --> 01:55:10,040 Will she be alright? 1603 01:55:11,810 --> 01:55:13,210 Take me to her. 1604 01:55:14,420 --> 01:55:17,510 - Please tell the nurse. - Sure. 1605 01:56:14,090 --> 01:56:15,090 You're still up? 1606 01:56:15,380 --> 01:56:16,500 How's the baby? 1607 01:56:19,750 --> 01:56:20,790 She's still in the incubator. 1608 01:56:32,070 --> 01:56:33,380 Sorry. 1609 01:56:34,160 --> 01:56:35,880 Deepu, I'm sorry. 1610 01:57:16,080 --> 01:57:21,260 On this bleak morning 1611 01:57:21,920 --> 01:57:27,180 Darkness lingering 1612 01:57:40,750 --> 01:57:46,510 The waves shall meet the shore 1613 01:57:46,590 --> 01:57:50,340 Though the near seems so far away 1614 01:57:51,170 --> 01:57:55,890 I know my heart is to blame 1615 01:57:57,170 --> 01:58:02,370 May all be spared this suffering 1616 01:58:38,980 --> 01:58:44,560 Whatever you've lost you shall find 1617 01:58:44,750 --> 01:58:50,520 Whatever is broken shall be restored 1618 01:58:51,380 --> 01:58:54,290 The baby is critical. Let's just pray. 1619 01:59:05,960 --> 01:59:11,580 Whatever you've lost you shall find 1620 01:59:11,880 --> 01:59:17,020 Whatever is broken shall be restored 1621 01:59:17,210 --> 01:59:22,760 Who knows where my journey has led me 1622 01:59:22,960 --> 01:59:27,200 All our dreams are now shattered 1623 01:59:28,420 --> 01:59:33,160 I know my heart is to blame 1624 01:59:34,510 --> 01:59:39,680 May all be spared this suffering 1625 02:00:42,440 --> 02:00:43,630 What's happened, brother? 1626 02:02:08,140 --> 02:02:10,370 Baby! The alarm's gone off. 1627 02:02:11,660 --> 02:02:14,500 - It has not. - Varun, it's time. Come on. 1628 02:02:14,840 --> 02:02:16,850 S***! 1629 02:02:17,170 --> 02:02:18,880 Mama, Papa! 1630 02:02:18,960 --> 02:02:20,630 It's time. 1631 02:02:20,710 --> 02:02:22,090 The grim reaper's here? 1632 02:02:22,590 --> 02:02:25,790 Grim reaper? No! It's time to take Deepu to the hospital. 1633 02:02:26,420 --> 02:02:27,840 Varun, where's my maternity bag? 1634 02:02:27,920 --> 02:02:29,800 Under the bed. Drag it out! 1635 02:02:29,880 --> 02:02:31,960 What? Are you crazy? 1636 02:02:32,040 --> 02:02:33,840 You get it out! Fast. 1637 02:02:33,920 --> 02:02:36,610 I'm coming. Don't bend. 1638 02:02:38,590 --> 02:02:39,960 Oh sh**! 1639 02:02:40,640 --> 02:02:43,020 - What's wrong? - My back. 1640 02:02:43,590 --> 02:02:46,130 My son's slip-dicks. 1641 02:02:46,210 --> 02:02:48,710 No, Ma! My disc. 1642 02:02:48,790 --> 02:02:52,380 - Come on, guys. - I'll drive. Don't stress. 1643 02:02:52,460 --> 02:02:54,300 Shut up, Mom. You're a bad driver. 1644 02:02:54,380 --> 02:02:56,790 - I can drive too. - Please... 1645 02:02:56,920 --> 02:02:58,920 Where's your phone? 1646 02:02:59,420 --> 02:03:01,170 A cab will take 11 minutes to get here. 1647 02:03:01,250 --> 02:03:03,580 - Password? - It's the same! 1648 02:03:04,670 --> 02:03:05,920 Varun, come on. 1649 02:03:06,460 --> 02:03:07,510 Hurry up, son. 1650 02:03:07,590 --> 02:03:09,560 It's an emergency. 1651 02:03:09,790 --> 02:03:11,330 Coming, sister-in-law. 1652 02:03:11,500 --> 02:03:13,080 Hurry up! 1653 02:03:14,040 --> 02:03:15,990 - Open the door. - Hurry up. 1654 02:03:17,040 --> 02:03:18,150 Mama... 1655 02:03:20,890 --> 02:03:24,960 We're taking Monika with us. Bring her child and Papa in an Ola. 1656 02:03:25,040 --> 02:03:27,730 - Hola? - Not Hola. Hire an Ola! 1657 02:03:27,960 --> 02:03:31,280 How can Hola be in Mumbai? Close the door! 1658 02:03:31,920 --> 02:03:33,510 - Let's go. - Wait! 1659 02:03:34,380 --> 02:03:37,630 Give me the maternity bag. 1660 02:03:45,750 --> 02:03:47,590 - Where to? - This way. 1661 02:03:47,670 --> 02:03:50,580 - Varun! - Coming. 1662 02:03:51,090 --> 02:03:52,210 Sister-in-law, hurry! 1663 02:03:53,290 --> 02:03:55,920 Varun. Varun! 1664 02:03:56,920 --> 02:03:58,920 I'm here. 1665 02:03:59,380 --> 02:04:01,460 - Where were you? - Changing. 1666 02:04:01,540 --> 02:04:03,090 Though it sounds pretty primitive... 1667 02:04:03,170 --> 02:04:06,220 ...but squatting is an excellent position... 1668 02:04:06,590 --> 02:04:08,120 Don't talk rubbish! 1669 02:04:08,250 --> 02:04:10,090 You will not deliver my child. 1670 02:04:10,170 --> 02:04:13,180 - Where is Mrs Joshi? - Where is she? 1671 02:04:13,260 --> 02:04:16,710 She's gone to the US for further studies. She'll be back in a year. 1672 02:04:16,790 --> 02:04:20,590 By the way, relax. Let me and these two idiots do our job. 1673 02:04:20,670 --> 02:04:23,290 Varun, get this damn thing out of me. 1674 02:04:23,460 --> 02:04:26,120 Yes, calm down. Just calm down! 1675 02:04:26,500 --> 02:04:27,920 Yes, good. 1676 02:04:28,090 --> 02:04:29,880 That's eye drops. 1677 02:04:29,960 --> 02:04:32,110 I know. This is for me. 1678 02:04:33,710 --> 02:04:36,530 - He's rinsing his eyes with eyedrops. - Relax, Mrs Batra, I got this. 1679 02:04:36,960 --> 02:04:39,500 We've got this. OK, now please... 1680 02:04:40,250 --> 02:04:42,710 "O Mother of Life, O Father of the Universe. 1681 02:04:42,920 --> 02:04:46,250 Doctor, this is not a temple. Get the kid out. 1682 02:04:46,420 --> 02:04:48,130 Get the kid out! What you doing? 1683 02:04:48,210 --> 02:04:50,920 Mrs Batra, please. It takes a bit of time. 1684 02:04:51,000 --> 02:04:54,130 I got this. Trust me. Breathe. 1685 02:04:58,290 --> 02:04:59,840 Careful! 1686 02:05:02,000 --> 02:05:03,290 Mr Batra. 1687 02:05:04,130 --> 02:05:05,460 She's ready to see you. 1688 02:05:36,090 --> 02:05:39,920 She's so pretty. She's just like Varun. 1689 02:05:40,000 --> 02:05:43,080 Her eyes and her forehead are just like Varun's. 1690 02:05:53,840 --> 02:05:54,790 Come! 1691 02:05:55,540 --> 02:05:56,920 Come in. 1692 02:06:41,110 --> 02:06:42,190 Get me a home 1693 02:06:45,990 --> 02:06:47,170 Make it feel like home 1694 02:06:49,150 --> 02:06:50,940 Oh my God. This is original. 1695 02:07:00,780 --> 02:07:03,030 You called me lovingly, here I am 1696 02:07:03,110 --> 02:07:05,810 We look like a cool couple 1697 02:07:10,400 --> 02:07:12,660 You called me lovingly, here I am 1698 02:07:12,740 --> 02:07:15,070 We look like a cool couple 1699 02:07:15,150 --> 02:07:17,530 A sign from you is all I need 1700 02:07:17,610 --> 02:07:19,650 Now I want to spend my life with you 1701 02:07:20,400 --> 02:07:22,700 Make all your wishes come true 1702 02:07:24,820 --> 02:07:26,700 Just say yes, sweetheart 1703 02:07:26,780 --> 02:07:27,950 Get me a home 1704 02:07:29,110 --> 02:07:30,110 Get me a home 1705 02:07:31,530 --> 02:07:33,870 I'll get you a home in Chandigarh 1706 02:07:38,820 --> 02:07:41,110 Make me a home in Chandigarh 1707 02:07:56,200 --> 02:08:00,990 Your dreamy eyes, your Punjabi clothes, you ask for my heart 1708 02:08:01,070 --> 02:08:05,740 I'll get you anything you ask for. Swear to God 1709 02:08:05,820 --> 02:08:09,230 I'll spend every rupee on you 1710 02:08:13,110 --> 02:08:14,820 Empty my wallet 1711 02:08:14,900 --> 02:08:16,240 Get me a home 1712 02:08:19,530 --> 02:08:21,780 I'll get you a home in Chandigarh 116682