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00:00:00,064 --> 00:00:03,064
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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00:00:15,444 --> 00:00:17,144
Freeze!
3
00:00:17,613 --> 00:00:18,747
I mean, stay.
4
00:00:18,748 --> 00:00:22,316
Boy, that GPS tracking tag we
put his collar really works.
5
00:00:22,317 --> 00:00:25,720
- That's a good boy.
- Thanks.
6
00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:27,155
I was talking to the dog.
7
00:00:27,156 --> 00:00:28,922
Come on, Hunter.
Let's get you home.
8
00:00:28,924 --> 00:00:31,693
- Wanna go for a ride, buddy?
- Sure. Where are we going?
9
00:00:31,694 --> 00:00:33,327
Nope, still the dog.
10
00:00:33,328 --> 00:00:37,097
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
11
00:00:37,099 --> 00:00:40,433
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
12
00:00:40,435 --> 00:00:43,806
2x09 - Tag You're I.T.
13
00:00:52,847 --> 00:00:54,814
So scaring the kitty
with vegetables
14
00:00:54,816 --> 00:00:56,249
is your idea of a good time?
15
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:57,983
Why is the cat
afraid of a cucumber?
16
00:00:57,985 --> 00:01:00,052
Kale is far more terrifying.
17
00:01:00,054 --> 00:01:02,789
- Where do you find this stuff, Mom?
- Mew Tube.
18
00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:05,691
The only place to find
all the cute cat videos.
19
00:01:05,693 --> 00:01:08,929
Yeah, 'cause cat videos are
a real rarity on the Internet.
20
00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:10,396
It's just harmless good fun.
21
00:01:10,397 --> 00:01:12,865
If you want good fun,
it needs to be harmful.
22
00:01:12,867 --> 00:01:15,251
The funniest videos online
are dudes getting
23
00:01:15,252 --> 00:01:17,738
sacked in the 'nads.
Timeless classic.
24
00:01:17,739 --> 00:01:19,773
There's an entire website
dedicated to it
25
00:01:19,774 --> 00:01:21,041
called "Hard in the Nards."
26
00:01:21,042 --> 00:01:23,876
Mom, maybe don't Google
"Hard" or "Nards."
27
00:01:23,878 --> 00:01:26,946
People getting hurt isn't funny.
It's just plain stupid.
28
00:01:26,947 --> 00:01:28,647
Well, stupid's where it's at online.
29
00:01:28,649 --> 00:01:31,417
Here, let me show you one
that's the best of both worlds.
30
00:01:31,418 --> 00:01:33,986
It's a video of a cat
clamped onto a guy's crotch.
31
00:01:35,389 --> 00:01:37,957
Uh-oh.
32
00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:40,893
Aah! Where did you all...
33
00:01:40,894 --> 00:01:43,129
- This is an outrage!
- I'm in a Facebook flame war.
34
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:46,699
- Interrupting my sexy chats!
- Whoa, whoa.
35
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,933
Can someone rational
please explain what's going on?
36
00:01:48,935 --> 00:01:53,058
- I don't know where you think you...
- I said "someone rational."
37
00:01:53,707 --> 00:01:55,975
- You'll have to do.
- This massive,
38
00:01:55,976 --> 00:01:57,742
but not out-of-character,
overreaction
39
00:01:57,744 --> 00:02:00,780
- is because the WiFi is down.
- You need to reboot your router.
40
00:02:00,781 --> 00:02:03,815
Ah.
Okay, that sounds reasonable.
41
00:02:03,817 --> 00:02:05,583
WiFi should be back up in a jiffy.
42
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:07,953
Aah!
My god.
43
00:02:07,954 --> 00:02:10,388
What else happens in this town
when my back is turned?
44
00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:12,825
Don't ask questions
you don't want the answers to.
45
00:02:12,826 --> 00:02:15,960
Why is everyone so upset
about my WiFi being down?
46
00:02:15,962 --> 00:02:17,529
They didn't even
stick around to use it.
47
00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:20,399
Oh, uh, we don't have to
be here to use your WiFi.
48
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,467
You don't?
Where does it reach?
49
00:02:22,468 --> 00:02:25,503
Main Street, bar... my bathroom.
50
00:02:25,505 --> 00:02:29,506
- Kinda weak in my basement.
- My WiFi can't travel that far.
51
00:02:29,508 --> 00:02:30,408
No, no.
52
00:02:30,409 --> 00:02:32,342
That's why we installed
the signal booster.
53
00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:34,022
The what?
54
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,676
You mean I'm paying for
the entire town's WiFi?
55
00:02:36,711 --> 00:02:38,081
We paid for the signal booster!
56
00:02:38,083 --> 00:02:41,919
- And everyone knows about this?
- Everyone but you, apparently.
57
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:43,487
We thought you were
okay with this.
58
00:02:43,488 --> 00:02:45,489
Yeah.
Why are you shocked
59
00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:48,392
that people are using your
open WiFi? Brace yourself:
60
00:02:48,393 --> 00:02:50,391
they use your ketchup
and napkins too.
61
00:02:50,426 --> 00:02:54,664
Yeah, when they're here. These are
free things for paying customers.
62
00:02:54,666 --> 00:02:58,202
We are customers. Just sometimes,
we're customers at home.
63
00:02:58,204 --> 00:03:01,171
Yeah, we're not all
married to our careers.
64
00:03:03,007 --> 00:03:06,275
If I turn around again,
will you all disappear?
65
00:03:09,143 --> 00:03:12,987
I promise this won't happen again.
66
00:03:14,004 --> 00:03:17,517
You're right. That GPS tag
made it a real time-saver.
67
00:03:17,519 --> 00:03:20,287
Just think,
if we tagged everyone in town,
68
00:03:20,288 --> 00:03:22,589
we'd always know
where everyone was.
69
00:03:22,591 --> 00:03:24,257
That would make
our job way easier.
70
00:03:24,258 --> 00:03:28,595
Except that would be a highly illegal
and massive invasion of privacy.
71
00:03:28,597 --> 00:03:31,098
Oh. Right,
but consider this:
72
00:03:31,099 --> 00:03:34,333
I assumed you'd be on board,
and I've done it already.
73
00:03:34,335 --> 00:03:36,835
Ah! Aah!
Oh! Aah!
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00:03:39,773 --> 00:03:43,042
- It's not even a cute cat.
- Or a cute crotch,
75
00:03:43,043 --> 00:03:44,877
but look at how many
views it's gotten.
76
00:03:44,879 --> 00:03:47,680
- I just don't see what the point is.
- The point is,
77
00:03:47,681 --> 00:03:49,081
sometimes you can make
a lot of money
78
00:03:49,082 --> 00:03:51,383
and get famous from
a single dumb video.
79
00:03:51,385 --> 00:03:52,519
You can?
80
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,121
- Ready to go?
- Let's get our stupid on.
81
00:03:56,123 --> 00:03:57,990
Hmm....
82
00:03:59,593 --> 00:04:02,494
Time to make a wish.
83
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,131
Hmm...
84
00:04:13,036 --> 00:04:15,971
Watching you with technology
is more entertaining
85
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:17,772
than these videos
I'm enjoying...
86
00:04:17,774 --> 00:04:22,210
- for free... on your open WiFi.
- Enjoy it while you can,
87
00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:24,945
'cause I'm putting
a password on this thing.
88
00:04:24,947 --> 00:04:26,482
As soon as I find its keyboard.
89
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,117
Great, looks like I'll just
have enough time to watch
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00:04:29,118 --> 00:04:30,885
the entire
Lord of the Rings trilogy.
91
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,622
The director's cut.
92
00:04:34,624 --> 00:04:38,092
How on earth did you manage
to tag so many people?
93
00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:42,664
I gave them friendship bracelets.
The GPS tags are in the charm.
94
00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:45,666
If they're friendship bracelets,
why didn't you give me one?
95
00:04:45,668 --> 00:04:48,169
You're a work friend.
Don't make this weird.
96
00:04:48,170 --> 00:04:50,470
You can't track people
without them knowing.
97
00:04:50,472 --> 00:04:54,107
This is really, really, really illegal.
98
00:04:54,109 --> 00:04:57,611
If it helps the police,
how illegal can it be?
99
00:04:57,613 --> 00:05:00,981
- I said three "reallies."
- When we're in the car,
100
00:05:00,982 --> 00:05:02,849
we have the right
to surveil people.
101
00:05:02,851 --> 00:05:05,453
What's the difference doing it
from the comfort of our desks
102
00:05:05,454 --> 00:05:08,555
using technology in way
that it wasn't intended?
103
00:05:08,557 --> 00:05:10,592
Because it's...
Hang on.
104
00:05:10,593 --> 00:05:11,926
That's Rheena,
Michelle, and Mavis.
105
00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:15,028
At Rheena's.
What are they up to?
106
00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:18,064
- Maybe they're a girl gang.
- That's everyone from book club.
107
00:05:18,066 --> 00:05:19,999
They said it was
cancelled this week.
108
00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:23,903
Probably discussing "Let's Get
Together and Back-Stab Our Friend."
109
00:05:23,905 --> 00:05:26,107
Yech, that's a terrible title.
110
00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:32,278
Just think, we could become
huge Internet celebrities.
111
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,748
I could be bigger than
that epic mealtime guy!
112
00:05:35,784 --> 00:05:38,551
I'm comin' after
your viewers, Harley!
113
00:05:39,087 --> 00:05:42,889
Who the hell is Hank Yarbo, and
how is he stealing all my viewers?
114
00:05:43,859 --> 00:05:45,126
Whoa...
115
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:47,627
He took that puck in the nuts
like a champ.
116
00:05:47,629 --> 00:05:49,929
I'm inspired.
117
00:05:49,931 --> 00:05:52,532
Hey, guys!
We're making a giant burrito.
118
00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:55,601
It'll be a hockey bag
full of pucks and nuts,
119
00:05:55,603 --> 00:05:57,036
covered in gravy.
120
00:05:57,037 --> 00:06:01,106
I'm calling it... the Yarbo.
121
00:06:02,610 --> 00:06:04,778
Hey! I was still musing!
122
00:06:04,779 --> 00:06:07,046
It's my turn.
I'm going to be bigger
123
00:06:07,047 --> 00:06:09,047
than vlogging sensation Casey Neistat.
124
00:06:11,118 --> 00:06:12,951
Ah, I can't concentrate,
I'm too excited.
125
00:06:12,953 --> 00:06:15,121
Okay, let's do this.
Spread your legs,
126
00:06:15,122 --> 00:06:16,456
and pretend I'm not aiming
for your crotch.
127
00:06:16,457 --> 00:06:19,825
Hang on. Why are we
wingin' the puck at my junk?
128
00:06:19,827 --> 00:06:22,795
How am I going to wing
a puck at my own junk?
129
00:06:22,797 --> 00:06:27,699
- Yeah, I guess you got a point.
- It's just physics, buddy.
130
00:06:29,336 --> 00:06:32,904
Does anyone in here know
how to put a stupid password
131
00:06:32,906 --> 00:06:35,271
into a stupid router?
132
00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:39,512
- With no strings attached?
- And that would benefit us how?
133
00:06:39,513 --> 00:06:42,747
Fine.
What are your strings?
134
00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:44,783
One string, very reasonable.
135
00:06:47,287 --> 00:06:50,790
- Hey! The WiFi is locked.
- Is it?
136
00:06:50,791 --> 00:06:52,825
Huh.
I'm online.
137
00:06:52,826 --> 00:06:57,295
Oh, that's right. I'm the
only one who has the password.
138
00:06:57,297 --> 00:07:02,822
I and I alone have access
to the World Wide Web.
139
00:07:06,739 --> 00:07:09,273
- I have it too.
- Well, of course you...
140
00:07:09,274 --> 00:07:11,675
Geez, I was having
a friggin' moment over here.
141
00:07:14,152 --> 00:07:15,386
Unbelievable.
142
00:07:15,387 --> 00:07:18,155
Michelle said she was going
to the city to buy a romper,
143
00:07:18,156 --> 00:07:20,591
but according to this,
she stayed home.
144
00:07:20,593 --> 00:07:24,160
Huh, probably just sewed
a shirt to her shorts.
145
00:07:24,162 --> 00:07:26,698
Here you go, guys.
Hey!
146
00:07:26,699 --> 00:07:29,367
Are you on my WiFi?
How did you crack the password?
147
00:07:29,368 --> 00:07:31,667
Ease up on the paranoia
there, Mr. Robot.
148
00:07:31,669 --> 00:07:35,270
We don't need WiFi.
This tracking system works on GPS.
149
00:07:35,272 --> 00:07:36,540
What are you tracking?
150
00:07:36,541 --> 00:07:38,141
- People.
- Davis!
151
00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:40,944
Whoops! Don't tell anyone.
Legal reasons.
152
00:07:40,945 --> 00:07:42,879
Wait, are you tracking me?
153
00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:45,581
No, I wouldn't do that to a friend.
154
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:51,053
- Here, have a friendship bracelet.
- Aww, that's sweet.
155
00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:53,490
Hey, since we're friends,
what's the WiFi password?
156
00:07:53,491 --> 00:07:55,191
Nice try.
157
00:07:55,894 --> 00:07:58,861
"N-I-C-E...
Hmm...
158
00:07:59,797 --> 00:08:01,665
That's odd.
According to Zeke's tracker,
159
00:08:01,666 --> 00:08:03,599
he's been in that dumpster
for hours.
160
00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:06,336
Hmm. He's usually only
in there 20 minutes, tops.
161
00:08:06,337 --> 00:08:09,272
You better investigate that.
I'll stay here
162
00:08:09,273 --> 00:08:11,773
and keep track of
Michelle's web of lies.
163
00:08:11,775 --> 00:08:12,742
I'm on it.
164
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:15,245
And let Lacey know her
password doesn't work.
165
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:20,215
Hey, Lacey, I'm putting
together a film crew
166
00:08:20,217 --> 00:08:22,284
to shoot a viral video of Oscar.
167
00:08:22,286 --> 00:08:25,888
Do you know anyone with a
movie camera, and some lights?
168
00:08:25,889 --> 00:08:27,157
Probably going to need
one of those best boys
169
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,458
I keep hearing about.
170
00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:30,126
Oh, sure, I can get you all that.
171
00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:32,462
Plus a crane jib,
and James Cameron to direct.
172
00:08:32,463 --> 00:08:35,631
- No, no, I'll be directing.
- You don't need all that.
173
00:08:35,632 --> 00:08:37,699
You can just shoot a video
with your phone.
174
00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:41,002
I can?
Movie camera and egg timer?
175
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,771
This is one hell of a rig.
176
00:08:43,646 --> 00:08:47,316
Your fluffy cousin tried to kill me!
This is payback!
177
00:08:47,317 --> 00:08:49,350
H'yah!
Tell your friends!
178
00:08:49,352 --> 00:08:51,552
Oscar, can you come here?
179
00:08:53,156 --> 00:08:57,291
The old "step-on-a-rake,
smack-in-the-puss" routine.
180
00:08:57,293 --> 00:08:59,961
Come on, stupid.
Find your mark.
181
00:09:00,964 --> 00:09:03,365
Oh...
Well, this could hurt someone.
182
00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:04,533
Dammit.
183
00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:07,336
You left the rake on the...
Whoa!
184
00:09:07,337 --> 00:09:09,037
Dammit!
185
00:09:09,106 --> 00:09:11,740
Dammit!
186
00:09:18,284 --> 00:09:19,351
Huh? Oh...
Oh!
187
00:09:19,352 --> 00:09:21,653
Hmm...
Something's off.
188
00:09:21,654 --> 00:09:23,521
- Are you wearing a cup?
- No.
189
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,357
Who's there?
190
00:09:25,358 --> 00:09:27,792
Okay, I'm wearing a cup.
I might have kids someday.
191
00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:29,593
I don't want them coming out dented.
192
00:09:29,595 --> 00:09:31,295
You want to go viral or not?
193
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:36,667
Okay, let me explain
the concept of a nut shot.
194
00:09:36,669 --> 00:09:39,636
I provide the shot,
and you provide the rest.
195
00:09:39,638 --> 00:09:42,373
Wouldn't a shot to the noggin
be just as entertaining?
196
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,475
- Ah!
- Nope.
197
00:09:46,278 --> 00:09:48,545
Oh man!
I can't believe how long
198
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,347
that cat stays clamped
on this guy's crotch.
199
00:09:51,349 --> 00:09:53,249
Hang in there, kitty!
200
00:09:53,251 --> 00:09:55,819
You got WiFi?
Wanna set up a hotspot for me?
201
00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:57,820
Not as much as I wanna
tell you to get stuffed.
202
00:09:57,822 --> 00:09:59,722
The information highway's
a lot faster
203
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:02,058
without all you Winnebagos
clogging it up.
204
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:02,926
Beat it.
205
00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:06,262
Ah, should have gotten her
to pay for those chips.
206
00:10:06,264 --> 00:10:08,365
Ah, well.
Whoa-ho!
207
00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:10,667
That cat's still latched on there.
208
00:10:10,669 --> 00:10:12,269
Whew!
How much longer does this...
209
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:13,537
Eight more minutes?
210
00:10:13,858 --> 00:10:15,758
Anything to eat today?
211
00:10:15,759 --> 00:10:17,327
What's the point
of going out for lunch
212
00:10:17,328 --> 00:10:20,029
if you can't post pictures
of your food online?
213
00:10:20,031 --> 00:10:23,934
- You could talk to your wife.
- We have been talking.
214
00:10:23,935 --> 00:10:25,667
About how there's no free WiFi.
215
00:10:25,669 --> 00:10:29,204
Hmm, well, maybe if you both
ordered burgers and fries,
216
00:10:29,206 --> 00:10:32,141
and dessert,
and tipped 20%,
217
00:10:32,143 --> 00:10:36,291
- I could do a little something for you.
- Intriguing.
218
00:10:36,326 --> 00:10:38,180
Could you also
give me the password?
219
00:10:38,182 --> 00:10:39,649
That's what I meant.
220
00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:41,584
What did you think
the "little something" was?
221
00:10:41,585 --> 00:10:44,319
Yeah, Won.
What did you think?
222
00:10:44,855 --> 00:10:47,589
Don't share this with anyone,
223
00:10:47,591 --> 00:10:49,857
or I'll have to
change the password.
224
00:10:49,859 --> 00:10:51,960
Like you know how
to change the password.
225
00:10:51,962 --> 00:10:55,023
- Okay, we promise.
- Hmm.
226
00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:00,268
Turns out Zeke's
not dead in a dumpster,
227
00:11:00,270 --> 00:11:03,271
- but my heart is.
- You should notify his next of kin.
228
00:11:03,273 --> 00:11:05,841
I said he's not...
Are you listening to me?
229
00:11:05,842 --> 00:11:08,776
Zeke threw my friendship
bracelet in the garbage.
230
00:11:08,778 --> 00:11:10,145
Maybe he's not into jewelry
231
00:11:10,146 --> 00:11:12,113
that looks like it was made
by a seven-year old girl.
232
00:11:12,115 --> 00:11:14,648
I don't know about
this tracking thing.
233
00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:18,586
Are you kidding me? You're a
genius for coming up with this.
234
00:11:18,588 --> 00:11:20,689
See?
Looks great on me.
235
00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:22,390
Brings out the colour of my wrist.
236
00:11:22,392 --> 00:11:24,626
I don't know.
It doesn't feel like it's paying off.
237
00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:28,863
Uh-oh. Rheena's about
to park illegally.
238
00:11:28,865 --> 00:11:31,199
You could write the ticket
on the way to give it to her.
239
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,502
That would give me time
to make a new bracelet for Zeke,
240
00:11:34,504 --> 00:11:37,037
with more masculine colours.
241
00:11:37,607 --> 00:11:39,307
Go get 'em, tiger!
242
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:45,579
That's it.
Say good night, Gilligan.
243
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:46,815
This'll be gold.
244
00:11:48,484 --> 00:11:52,941
Oh, whoa...
Yeah.
245
00:11:52,976 --> 00:11:55,239
Seriously?
When has any human ever
246
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,984
gotten in a hammock without...
247
00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,227
Grr...
248
00:11:59,228 --> 00:12:01,294
Ow!
249
00:12:03,965 --> 00:12:06,199
Psst!
Here's the password.
250
00:12:06,201 --> 00:12:08,870
No sharesies.
251
00:12:11,540 --> 00:12:13,240
Ugh, dammit, woman!
252
00:12:13,242 --> 00:12:16,943
Why bring me lemonade
if I can't reach it?!
253
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,979
Wait until he finds out
it's not lemonade.
254
00:12:19,981 --> 00:12:21,881
Stalking anyone
in particular, Mom?
255
00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:25,452
You scared the bejesus out of me.
Quit being so sneaky.
256
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:27,320
Says the woman
crouched in a shrub.
257
00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:32,126
Do you know how long
I've been in here trying
258
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,661
to get a video of Oscar
falling out of that hammock?
259
00:12:34,663 --> 00:12:36,063
Oh, sorry I interrupted.
260
00:12:36,064 --> 00:12:39,749
That would have been... hilarious.
261
00:12:40,735 --> 00:12:42,302
Mom's got a ringer.
262
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,871
Dad.
It's only a matter of time
263
00:12:43,872 --> 00:12:47,506
before she gets a video of him
doing something stupid.
264
00:12:47,508 --> 00:12:49,475
If her video goes viral
before ours,
265
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,477
I'll never hear the end of it.
266
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,780
We've got to ratchet this up.
267
00:12:53,782 --> 00:12:57,650
- Did you run all the way here?
- No, I drove,
268
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:00,353
but you've got a long driveway.
Whew.
269
00:13:02,691 --> 00:13:05,324
I see you leaving
that bakery, Michelle.
270
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,627
Gluten-free, my ass.
271
00:13:07,628 --> 00:13:10,796
Well, that was a waste of time.
272
00:13:10,798 --> 00:13:12,299
Didn't you give Rheena a ticket?
273
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:15,051
I tried, but she hadn't
parked yet, and said I couldn't
274
00:13:15,052 --> 00:13:17,803
give her a ticket for
thinking about doing a crime.
275
00:13:17,805 --> 00:13:19,038
Then we spent half an hour
276
00:13:19,039 --> 00:13:21,807
arguing the plausibility
of Minority Report.
277
00:13:21,809 --> 00:13:23,509
It didn't save me any time,
278
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:27,446
and Rheena's extra mad at me.
This GPS thing sucks.
279
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:29,749
- I'm shutting it down.
- No!
280
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:31,783
I finally know
what everyone is up to.
281
00:13:31,785 --> 00:13:34,337
Not everyone,
because not everyone
282
00:13:34,338 --> 00:13:36,227
- in town has a bracelet.
- What?
283
00:13:36,262 --> 00:13:38,540
Who doesn't have a bracelet,
and what are they doing?
284
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,163
You need to buy more tracking tags.
285
00:13:40,198 --> 00:13:42,728
Forget it.
The power's gone to your head.
286
00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:46,866
- Also, it's too much work.
- Oh, you're right.
287
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,869
Ugh, can't believe how sucked
into this technology I got.
288
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,571
- Give me the car keys.
- Why?
289
00:13:52,572 --> 00:13:54,140
I need to get away
from the screen.
290
00:13:54,141 --> 00:13:56,998
Clear my head,
maybe take a nap.
291
00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:02,180
What the... What's with
the endless buffering?
292
00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:05,484
Are you online?
How'd you get the password?
293
00:14:05,485 --> 00:14:08,755
- What are you, CSIS?
- What's CSIS?
294
00:14:08,756 --> 00:14:11,523
That's just what someone
in CSIS would say.
295
00:14:11,525 --> 00:14:13,526
All you have to do
is order a lot of food,
296
00:14:13,527 --> 00:14:14,861
and Lacey will
give you the password.
297
00:14:14,862 --> 00:14:18,295
- But don't tell anyone.
- Tell no one.
298
00:14:18,297 --> 00:14:21,632
What's a gal gotta do to
monopolize the Internet around here?
299
00:14:21,634 --> 00:14:24,101
Merge with Time Warner?
300
00:14:28,541 --> 00:14:30,607
Huh? Hunter?
301
00:14:30,609 --> 00:14:33,793
I am not chasing that dog again.
302
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:36,180
Don't...
303
00:14:36,182 --> 00:14:38,583
Don't you...
Don't even...
304
00:14:40,352 --> 00:14:43,755
Oh, great.
Now I have to give Helen a ticket
305
00:14:43,756 --> 00:14:46,356
for not picking up after
her stupid dog.
306
00:14:46,358 --> 00:14:49,294
This program's killing me.
307
00:14:49,295 --> 00:14:51,161
Why is Zeke the highway?
308
00:14:51,163 --> 00:14:54,731
Wait.
Karen has Zeke's bracelet.
309
00:14:54,733 --> 00:14:58,736
Where is she going?
310
00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:04,001
So... Frodo is about to throw
the ring into the river of fire,
311
00:15:04,002 --> 00:15:06,102
when he changes his mind
and keeps it,
312
00:15:06,104 --> 00:15:09,339
and that sense of betrayal
Samwise felt
313
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:12,308
is not unlike what's burning
in my chest right now!
314
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:14,878
Aw, are you talking
about the Godfather?
315
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,414
No, that's Fredo!
316
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,648
But there's also betrayal
in the Godfather,
317
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:20,951
so let's go with that.
Bottom line,
318
00:15:20,952 --> 00:15:23,721
you gave up the password.
You Fredoed me.
319
00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:25,189
Aw, I'm sorry.
320
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,189
It only seemed fair
to make people order food
321
00:15:27,191 --> 00:15:30,058
since I'm the only one paying for WiFi!
322
00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:32,127
Well, I'm going to change
the password,
323
00:15:32,129 --> 00:15:34,497
and I'm not telling
anyone what it is,
324
00:15:34,499 --> 00:15:37,934
including you, Frodo.
Uh, Fredo.
325
00:15:37,935 --> 00:15:39,035
Where did we leave off with this?
326
00:15:39,036 --> 00:15:40,870
You can't just shut me
out of my own WiFi.
327
00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:45,608
Oops, just did, and you're never
going to guess the password.
328
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:49,678
- Is it "Lacey betrayed me?"
- Not anymore.
329
00:15:51,849 --> 00:15:55,551
So, you want me to jump off
the ladder onto a ball,
330
00:15:55,553 --> 00:15:56,920
bounce onto the skateboard,
331
00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:58,388
roll through a hoop of fire,
332
00:15:58,389 --> 00:16:01,123
and smash crotch-first
into a teeter-totter?
333
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:03,158
Yeah, but make it look natural.
334
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,627
I don't think hula hoops
burst into flames naturally.
335
00:16:05,629 --> 00:16:06,829
You're overthinking.
336
00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:10,732
You're too aware of what's...
Hold on, that's the problem!
337
00:16:10,734 --> 00:16:12,677
It's also the solution.
338
00:16:17,774 --> 00:16:19,943
- Hey, Dad!
- What?
339
00:16:19,944 --> 00:16:21,744
How's it going with
that prank video Mom's
340
00:16:21,745 --> 00:16:23,545
shooting of you that
you're now totally aware of?
341
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:24,914
You son of a bitch.
342
00:16:24,915 --> 00:16:28,819
Hey, don't talk about
my mom like that.
343
00:16:32,555 --> 00:16:34,388
You're trying to
make me look stupid?!
344
00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:35,823
You always look stupid.
345
00:16:35,824 --> 00:16:38,058
I just want to share
you with the world.
346
00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:40,595
How many views does an old
man yelling usually get?
347
00:16:40,596 --> 00:16:42,530
Depends if that
hand-in-the-water trick works,
348
00:16:42,532 --> 00:16:45,266
- and he wets himself.
- Who wet himself?
349
00:16:45,268 --> 00:16:47,401
And why am I
getting a manicure?
350
00:16:47,403 --> 00:16:50,805
We had an agreement.
We order too much food,
351
00:16:50,806 --> 00:16:55,242
- and you give us free WiFi.
- Well, you had free WiFi,
352
00:16:55,244 --> 00:16:56,711
and you got a delicious meal,
353
00:16:56,712 --> 00:17:00,014
- so everyone should be happy!
- We're not.
354
00:17:00,015 --> 00:17:02,850
- You owe us WiFi.
- Lacey stole our WiFi!
355
00:17:02,851 --> 00:17:04,618
- Give us our WiFi back.
- Yeah!
356
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:06,720
You've been stealing
my Internet for years.
357
00:17:06,722 --> 00:17:09,355
This is all because of
that stupid signal booster.
358
00:17:09,357 --> 00:17:11,090
Oh, I should go smash it.
359
00:17:11,092 --> 00:17:13,893
Yeah, but you don't know where it is.
360
00:17:19,434 --> 00:17:21,835
Oh, don't I?
I'm going there right now
361
00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:25,972
to smash it into a million pieces.
If you want to stop me,
362
00:17:25,973 --> 00:17:29,041
you're going to have
to get there first.
363
00:17:30,278 --> 00:17:32,646
- She's bluffing.
- Or is she?
364
00:17:32,647 --> 00:17:35,047
Are you calling my bluff
on the bluffing?
365
00:17:35,684 --> 00:17:36,917
Film all you want.
366
00:17:36,918 --> 00:17:39,719
I'm not gonna be the star
of your dumb thing.
367
00:17:39,721 --> 00:17:41,554
The competition is out.
368
00:17:41,556 --> 00:17:43,522
Hank, go run 'nad-first
into that tree!
369
00:17:43,524 --> 00:17:46,593
What? W-We talked about this.
I'm too aware.
370
00:17:46,594 --> 00:17:47,694
Then close your eyes
and run into the tree.
371
00:17:47,695 --> 00:17:50,109
Forget it!
I'm out too.
372
00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:55,534
So...
you went and bought more tags
373
00:17:55,536 --> 00:17:59,405
- to track the rest of the town, huh?
- What? No!
374
00:17:59,406 --> 00:18:03,442
Aw, man! Have you been
tracking me this entire time?
375
00:18:03,444 --> 00:18:07,479
That is not a friendly way to
dispose of a friendship bracelet.
376
00:18:07,481 --> 00:18:09,982
- Did you see everywhere I went?
- If you're asking
377
00:18:09,983 --> 00:18:13,419
if I know that you went to a
laser hair removal place, then no.
378
00:18:13,420 --> 00:18:17,122
Okay, wow. This really
is an invasion of privacy.
379
00:18:17,124 --> 00:18:21,325
- Experiment over.
- Oh, thank god.
380
00:18:21,327 --> 00:18:23,528
- Friends again?
- Work friends.
381
00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:24,463
Good enough.
382
00:18:24,464 --> 00:18:27,431
Then, as your friend,
I have to say,
383
00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:30,002
laser hair removal? Why?
384
00:18:30,003 --> 00:18:31,770
You can barely see your mustache.
385
00:18:31,772 --> 00:18:35,506
This is the longest you've gone
without being an idiot, Oscar.
386
00:18:35,508 --> 00:18:38,010
- Knock it off!
- Come on, Hank.
387
00:18:38,011 --> 00:18:39,678
Just follow your natural
doofus instinct.
388
00:18:39,679 --> 00:18:41,113
I don't have to take this.
389
00:18:41,114 --> 00:18:43,614
The verbal abuse, the physical abuse.
390
00:18:43,616 --> 00:18:45,245
If you want to film something,
391
00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:48,353
film me walking away.
Whoa!
392
00:18:50,423 --> 00:18:52,024
Aah! Cucumber!
393
00:18:52,025 --> 00:18:54,592
Aah! Kale!
394
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:56,928
- Did you get it?
- I got it! Did you get it?
395
00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:58,629
- I did!
- We both got it!
396
00:18:58,630 --> 00:18:59,730
The production value on this
397
00:18:59,731 --> 00:19:02,166
will get us to the top
of "Hard in the Nards."
398
00:19:02,168 --> 00:19:05,479
Again, I can't stress enough.
Do not Google any of that.
399
00:19:06,005 --> 00:19:08,505
I need to see that tracking thingie.
400
00:19:08,507 --> 00:19:10,074
Oh, we're not
doing that anymore.
401
00:19:10,075 --> 00:19:12,676
I need to know where
everyone in town is going.
402
00:19:12,678 --> 00:19:15,412
Trust me,
you don't want to know.
403
00:19:15,414 --> 00:19:19,435
- Show me!
- Jeez, okay.
404
00:19:19,484 --> 00:19:23,520
- Explain how this works.
- This is you at the police station.
405
00:19:23,522 --> 00:19:26,323
The other blue dots are
whoever's wearing a tag.
406
00:19:26,325 --> 00:19:28,524
Looks like a mob of them
are coming down Main Street.
407
00:19:30,594 --> 00:19:32,447
They're coming towards
the police station.
408
00:19:33,397 --> 00:19:37,967
But... they're supposed
to go towards the booster.
409
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,036
Unless...
410
00:19:39,037 --> 00:19:40,704
Eight metres.
411
00:19:40,705 --> 00:19:42,805
Six metres.
412
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,507
Two metres!
413
00:19:44,508 --> 00:19:47,376
That can't be.
That's inside the room.
414
00:19:47,378 --> 00:19:49,078
It's reading right, man!
415
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:55,218
They're on the roof.
Wait, where'd Lacey go?
416
00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,287
Ha ha!
Suckers!
417
00:19:57,288 --> 00:19:58,956
I knew you'd want
to protect the booster.
418
00:19:58,957 --> 00:20:01,422
The tracking devices
Karen and Davis put on you
419
00:20:01,424 --> 00:20:04,960
- led me right to it.
- Tracking devices?
420
00:20:04,961 --> 00:20:06,661
We're being monitored?
421
00:20:07,264 --> 00:20:09,999
Uh... don't you have
a booster box to protect?
422
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,033
Too late!
Ha ha!
423
00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:18,165
There.
WiFi problem solved.
424
00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:24,412
Oh, is it? I'm still the
only one with the password.
425
00:20:24,414 --> 00:20:27,015
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
426
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:32,053
- And I'm the only one with a cleaver.
- We should talk.
427
00:20:35,552 --> 00:20:37,286
How's our video doing?
428
00:20:37,287 --> 00:20:39,554
- We rich and famous yet?
- Far from it.
429
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:42,824
- Check the comments.
- "Two-camera shoot."
430
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,393
"This is fake."
"Totally staged."
431
00:20:45,394 --> 00:20:49,029
How dumb are these people
that they can't enjoy real stupid?
432
00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:51,966
Oh, don't lose faith
in the stupidity of the Internet.
433
00:20:53,069 --> 00:20:55,603
There's half a million hits
on "Hottie Meat Cleaver Mama
434
00:20:55,604 --> 00:20:57,638
Loses It On Police Station Roof."
435
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,475
Will you stop
showing that to people?
436
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:02,399
Hey, they called you "Hottie."
437
00:21:08,948 --> 00:21:10,415
♪ I don't know ♪
438
00:21:10,416 --> 00:21:13,317
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
439
00:21:16,755 --> 00:21:18,755
♪ I don't know ♪
440
00:21:18,757 --> 00:21:21,758
♪ I just... don't know ♪
441
00:21:23,829 --> 00:21:27,764
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ It's a great big place ♪
442
00:21:27,766 --> 00:21:31,267
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Full of nothin' but space ♪
443
00:21:31,269 --> 00:21:35,204
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ And it's my happy place ♪
444
00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:37,741
♪ I don't know ♪
445
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:41,499
sync & correction by f1nc0
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