All language subtitles for 3RFTS-S02E13-DVDRIP-Team-TDK

Hmm. I made the front page
of the daily Badgerian again.

What's it say?

"Physics Professor
calls Einstein "idiot"...

proclaims self
much smarter".

Something smells divine.

It's me. I just know
it's me.

Ooh, look at those clouds.
- That one looks like me.

So does that one.

That one makes me
look fat.

That one looks
like a poodle..

a dark,
menacing poodle.

Yeah, it's wheezing
lightning.

I think we should go in.
- Yeah.

Harry?
You coming?

Yeah, just a sec.
- Don't be long.

Hey! That cloud looks
like a giant funnel,

with mobile homes
stuck in it.

Ohhh, look!
A flying cow!

Whoa!

Dick!

Where am I?

Who am I?

Mary! You're here.
I didn't see your car.

I have a new parking space.
- Really? Where?

There.
- Where?

There.
- Whoo!

What's the matter?
- It's right there.

In front of the building. I can
almost smell your little pine tree.

It's a great space, isn't it?
- I don't understand.

The university should
have offered it to me first.

I'm the star
of the faculty.

I'm the one whose brain
everyone wants to dissect for science.

Right, for science.

I deserve it!
- I have tenure!

Oh, tenure!

I suppose if someone sticks around
a third-rate university long enough,

they'd have to recognize
her lack of drive somehow.

Dick, you're overreacting.
- I'm not overreacting.

Overreacting would be going
straight to the president of the university

and telling him
exactly how I feel.

Where are you going?
- Straight to the president of the university

and telling him exactly how I feel!

Dick, it's a parking space!
You're acting like a child.

Sit down. Tell me what's on your mind.

President Dewey, a great
injustice has been committed.

Oh? Have I been
indicted?

Worse. I don't like
my parking space.

Yes, that is troublesome.

I was thinking of something
along the lines of g-34.

Now, that's a good spot.
I like that spot.

And you're a good man.
I like you.

What's on your mind?

Well..the space.

Oh, sorry. That's for tenured
personnel only.

Then I order you to give me
an even closer spot.

Dick, I'm gonna do you a favour.
- You're giving me the space?

No, I'm gonna tell you a story.
- Can't you see I'm upset?

You're right, I'm going to let
you do whatever you think is right.

Well, then, I..I'm going to take the space.

Sorry, no can do.
Cigar?

I'm warning you, either you
give me that space or I quit!

Ah, I understand.

What space are you in now?
- X-17. Why?

'Cause I'm giving that to
my secretary. Bye, Dick.

All right, for starters, looks like
the storm knocked off some shingles.

You lose anything else?
- I don't know. Like what?

I'll run down the list.

Did you have any gutters?
- No.

Screens?
- No.

Antennas?
- No.

Direct satellite TV?

Yes.

Um, excuse me.

Um, is this
417 Pensdale road?

Yeah.
- Are you my wife?

No.
- Ah. Good.

Harry, you're back!

Oh, we were so
worried about you!

Whoa!
Are you my wife?

Yeah, right.

Harry, we have been
looking all over for you.

Geez, Harry, you're a mess.
- Where have you been?

Well, I'm not sure.

My mind's
a complete blank.

So then you're fine.
- Yeah.

That's a relief, honey.
You go watch your stories.

I'll make you
some toast.

No sofa?
That's weird.

Mmm. High Commander's
log book.

Well, this sounds
interesting.

January 9th.

We have successfully
assumed human form,

and have tricked the earthlings into thinking,

that we are
of their species.

Oh, my god!

They're Aliens!

La la la.

You've got to be kidding.
- Nope. I did it.

Walked off the job,
stuck it to the man,

told him to kiss
my hairy polenta.

Bye now!
- You can't be serious.

I couldn't be more serious.
Please, pass me Mr. Potato man.

Why are you doing this?
- Because it's not fair.

Well, life isn't fair.

Well you could remedy that Mary,
by giving me the space.

That wouldn't be fair to me.

Well life isn't fair, you said so yourself.

Let it go Dick.
- Fine!

Uh, that's
university property.

Well they should have thought of
that before giving away my parking space.

Well what are you gonna do now?
- Oh don't worry about me.

I give Dewey about 10 minutes
before he comes crawling back to me.

Nina, can you help me
with the water cooler?

Dick. Dick!

You have been sitting there for 10 days.

For the last time, the
university's not gonna call.

Oh, they'll call.

They'll call.
And when they do,

this phone is gonna
really, really ring.

I just wonder whether it's worth
getting all meshuga over a parking space.

Dick, I hate to interrupt
the creep-fest,

but would you stop thinking of yourself
for a minute and think of the mission?

Oh, my god,
they're on a mission.

I am the mission!

We came to this pitiful planet
to experience the human condition,

but from all that I can
ascertain, the human condition requires

nothing more than complete and
utter solipsistic self-absorption!

And you can include that in your
next transmission to the you-know-who.

Uh, who?

The big, giant head!
Haven't you been listening?

Oh, the big,
giant, head...

Thank you for
seeing me, father, I..

didn't know
where else to turn.

Well, that's...

why they pay me
the big bucks, you know?

Father, if someone..

say, a family member..
had helped you,

cared for you,
given you shelter.

And you knew something
terrible about them,

it'd be okay to turn them
over to the authorities

for dissection,
wouldn't it?

Are they dangerous?
- Yes, No, I don't know!

I'm so alone
and confused!

You are not alone.

There's someone up there who's
watching over everything you do...

at all times.

There is?
- Mm-hmm.

Is this person called
"the big, giant head"?

He goes by many names.
- And you know him?

Know him? I work for him.

I see.

Well, thank you for your time.
- That's fine.

Oh, my god!

They're everywhere!

We're out of cereal.

We're out of milk.

We're out of money.

No milk? What am I gonna use in my coffee?

No problem.
We're out of coffee too.

Harry keeps drinking it. It's
like he's afraid to go to sleep.

Harry?
Harry, come in here.

Are you feeling all right?
- Yeah, oh yeah, fine, I'm fine.

When I'm fine, I'm fine.
How are you? 'Cause I'm fine.

Tommy, go tuck Harry in bed.
See that he gets some sleep.

No! no no.

No, I'm fine.

Well, I guess this has been
kind of tough on all of us.

Dick, why don't you just
apologise and get your job back?

Apologise?
Should the Venus De Milo

apologise to the thug
who broke its arms off? No!

Should the sphinx apologise
to the desert winds

for eroding its nose?
No!

Should Jim Carey
apologise to America

for the cable guy?

Perhaps.

No, I'm not gonna apologise.
I can play their waiting game.

Yeah, well, if you want to play the
eating game, you've got to do something.

Oh, I plan to. I'm
gonna get myself a new job,

a job worthy of me!

Oh, really?
And where would that be?

In America,
land of opportunity!

Welcome to Rusty's.
How may I serve you?

How do you make your burgers?
- Excellent question.

First a clamp comes down
onto the cow's head,

forcing it onto
a conveyor belt,

where a prod is inserted
into the cow's rectum,

electrocuting it.

Give me two.
- Thank you.

And remember,
at Rusty's,

E. Coli is not
on the menu.

Stop saying that!

Welcome to Rusty's.
- Rusty burger and a monster fries.

Very well.
- Solomon,

you're supposed to ask him if he
wants a fried apple pie with that.

But Dougy, I can't.
I mean, just look at him.

The rusty burger alone is
enough to give him a coronary.

The fried pie will be
the death blow!

Look, I didn't go to hamburger
college to take crap from you.

Hamburger college.

They're not by chance looking
for a physics professor, are they?

It's a hamburger school!

Once again, I find
myself at the mercy

of someone I wouldn't
let pick my nose.

I'm the most qualified. I'm the
smartest. I should be running Rusty's!

That's it.
You're off register.

Report immediately
to the drive-thru window.

Demoted?
Dougy, no!

Well, I don't know if I could
come back to the university.

No.
Well, I am deeply hurt.

I don't care how much you
beg. I am not coming back.

No. No.

Well, to be honest,
I'm entertaining

some very interesting offers
even as we speak.

Well, you'd better get going, Dick. You
know how Dougy hates it when you're late.

I'll go, as soon
as I find my hat.

Uh, you're wearing
your hat.

Don't... be
ridiculous.

Don't you think I'd know if
I were wearing my own hat?

Ah!
There it is.

Yes, operator,

you have to listen
very carefully.

I'm at 417 Pensdale road,

and I'm surrounded
by aliens.

I need to talk to the
president of the United States.

Yeah, I know I need help.
That's why I'm calling, Hallo?

Hello?

Hello?

They've gotten to
the phone company too.

Thank you for making
Rusty's a part of your day.

Hello, Bug, Pitman.

Welcome to Rusty's.
How may I serve you?

We're not hungry Dr Solomon.

We just wanted to come in
and see if you were really

flippin' patties in the
hamburger freak-out ward.

You insolent little twerps! I should..

Well, what do we have here?
A customer satisfaction card.

"Rate the performance
of your server".

"F".

Thank you for making
Rusty's a part of your day.

So this is where the great minds of
Rutherford go

when they're feeling underappreciated?

Hello, Mary.
- Hello, Dick.

I see they've got you back
behind the register.

No, I'm just covering for
Maurice.. he's out back having a smoke.

A man of your brilliance
quitting his job,

over a stupid
parking space!

If it's so stupid, why don't you give it to me?
- Never.

Ah-ha! So you admit it's important.
- I admit nothing.

Give me a rusty dog,
no onions.

Would you like
a fried pie with that?

Yes.
- No, Mary, don't do it!

Give me the pie.

Mary, you have your
whole life ahead of you!

Oh, Dick, why are you doing this to
yourself? Can't you just come back?

No, Mary.
I have my pride!

So you're working
at Rusty's.

Yes, they have some wonderful
opportunities for advancement here.

Did you know that the fry man who used
to work here is now a multimillionaire?

What happened?

He lost his arm in the patty
press and got a great lawyer.

All right, gentlemen,
prepare yourself for a fancy feast.

Fancy feast? Can we afford that?
- Yes, we can.

Before I was shopping
today, I found this aisle in the back

that had these
unbelievable savings..

tuna, liver, and new seafood
blend for you finicky types.

Wait a minute.
You're feeding us cat?

It's not cat, Tommy,
it's salmon.

There's just a picture
of a cat on the label.

The best part is, next to the food
they had these adorable little gifts.

Look.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...

I've never been happier
in my life!

I was playing with it today, and it
got stuck behind the refrigerator,

and I went nuts
trying to get it!

Hello? Hel...

I've been awake
for 16 days.

That must be
a record.

So, I've got to know,

are you one of them?

I'm just going to step
out of this closet now.

If you are who
you say you are,

then who won the world series in 1956?

Who? Who?

I don't know!
- I don't know either!

Ha!

Oh, I see what it's come to.
You're too good for a Rusty's man.

Dick, it's not what
you think it is.

I'm not sure
what it was.

I only came by to tell you
that I spoke with President Dewey,

and he's willing to meet with you.
- Never! I have my pride.

All right.
All right, keep your pride.

Suffer all you want.
But what about your family?

There's nothing wrong with my family.

Your son is eating cat food!

Cat food?

Maybe you're right.

I'm beginning to wonder
if I was rash,

quitting my job
over a parking space.

Stop wondering.

I can't help thinking
that it was my pride

that clouded
my judgment.

Stop thinking.
It did.

Was it folly or sheer
idiocy that led to my downfall?

Folly.
- Idiocy.

No, I change my vote
to "idiocy".

Hello, President Dewey.
- Hello, Mary.

Dr. Solomon and I..
Dick!

Hello, President Dewey.

And thank you, Dr.
Albright, for announcing me.

I believe you have
something to say to President Dewey.

I would like to discuss the terms
under which I will return to Pendleton.

He wants to drop the parking thing.
- That's good to hear.

And in return, you will
admit that you were wrong,

and that this university
was falling apart without me.

Or not.
- We're getting along very well without you.

Thank you and good-bye.

On no, but President Dewey, Dr. Solomon is aware
of how pathetic he's been over the..

Mary.. Mary, Mary, Mary,
Mary. This is beneath you

Why don't you wait outside,

and I'll settle this
on my own terms, all right?

Please!

Please take me back!

Sorry, can't do it.
- Please! Please!

I'll do anything!
Just name it!

You can apologise.
- You want me to apologise?

Yes.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

That's fine, you can
begin tomorrow.

In my new
parking spot?

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

So, Dick, any problems
getting your job back?

Are you kidding?
He begged me.

Well, he didn't
"Beg", beg,

but it was
clear enough.

I take it you didn't get the space either.

Not the "Space"
space.

But you know, I learned something very important.
- What?

That even if you're the
high commander and brilliant,

there's still time
for a little humility.

Thankfully, that time
is now over.

Ah, dinner!

Let's eat, Harry.

Oh, did you just say,
"let's eat Harry"?

Yeah, we're hungry,
so it's time to eat, Harry.

"Eat Harry".

I see.

Could I just have
a moment, please?

Whatever.

Would you hurry it up?
I'm starving.

Whoa!

That was a close one.

Mmm, my favourite!

Meat loaf deluxe-O.

Well, Harry,
we haven't had that

since Dick quit his job
three weeks ago.

Dick quit his job?

Yeah, why do you think
he was working at Rusty's?

Dick was working
at Rusty's?

Geez, Harry, don't you know anything?

No.
All I know is,

I got a transmitter in my head,

and Charlie's angels
is on weeknights at 7:00.

Oh, my god!
It's 7:00 now!

Mmm, thanks for
the ride this morning.

Oh, I couldn't let you walk. It's pouring.

How's your new parking spot?
- Awful!

My house is closer. Dewey
is gonna hear about this.

And after that,
for lunch,

I'll have a rusty burger
with fries.

Actually, it's not
so bad.