All language subtitles for 2003_My.Life.Without.Me.WEBRip

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ANN: This is you,
eyes closed,
out in the rain?

You never thought
you'd be doing
something like this.

You never saw yourself as...

I... I don't know
how you'd describe it.

It's like one of those
people who like looking
up at the moon,

or who spend hours
gazing at the waves
or the sunset, or...

I guess you know
what kind of people
I'm talking about.

Maybe you don't.

Anyway, you kind of
like it being like this,

fighting the cold

and feeling the water
seep through your shirt

and getting through
to your skin,

and the feel of the
ground growing soft
beneath your feet...

...and the smell,

and the sound of the rain
hitting the leaves.

All the things they talk
about in the books
that you haven't read.

This is you.

Who would've guessed it?

You.

San...
San.

San...
San.

San.
San.

Nier.

Nier.

Nier.
Nier.

Nier.
Nier.

Lesson three, dialog.

Ooh.

Catch this.

You give me the big one.

Okay.

Don't you even...

So how come
you always get...

How come...

Why do you always
get the big one?

Because...
I deserve the big one.

Maybe you should just try
and, you know,

get some chalk
off the blackboard.

Laurie...

Oh, I'm trying to
blow it away from you.

I thought you were
quitting.
I am quitting.

I'm quitting
quitting.

That's great.

I can't quit smoking

and quit eating
at the same time.

You don't have
to quit eating.

Why would you
have to quit eating?

You just don't
understand.

You lose weight just
by thinking about it.

I swear, you're slimmer now
than you were a month ago.

No, you're
imagining it.

I am not.

When you're fat
like I am,

the only thing you see
is other women's bodies.

It's the only
thing you see.

Laurie,
you're crazy.

You're not fat
at all, okay?

I know fat people.
You're not one of them.

Look at this tummy.
It's not the tummy
of a fat person.

As for me, I'm eating
the same as always.

Yesterday, I had a whole
liter of ice cream.

Oh, I haven't had
ice cream in so long.

Hey, uh, you're not following
one of those ice-cream diets,
are you?

Yeah, Ben and Jerry's
miracle diet.

Really?
No.

You know what I'm thinking
of right now?

What?

Corn on the cob.

With lots of salt,
lots of butter.

Oh, just thinking about
diets makes me hungry.

See you tomorrow.
All right,
see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Bye.
Bye.

MOM: Is Don looking
for another job?

Don's always looking
for another job.

I could try and get him
something at the hotel.

That's okay.

Last thing I need
is for you two to fight
there as well.

Why do you have to listen
to this stuff?

Why can't you listen to music
like normal people?

No one's normal, Mom.

No such thing
as normal people.

Some muffins
for the girls
for breakfast.

They're a little,
uh, squashed,
but they're fine.

Who rented
Nathan's house?

I don't know.
Someone's moving
in on Sunday.

Barry Manilow.

What?

Barry Manilow.
He's normal.

Good night, Mom.

Come on, move over.
Move over.

Move over, buddy.

Bed hog.

Are those your feet,
or are you rubbing
ice cubes down my legs?

Yes, they are ice cubes.

Okay, warm them up.
That's my only choice.

I'm cold up here too.
I'm cold everywhere.

Did you put the laundry
in the basket?

Yes.
Thank you.

Are you tired?

Mmm-hmm.
Okay.

No no no no no no!

I think you're
too little.

I'll tell you
when you're older.

You guys want
some more milk?

Please, please,
tell me now.

Drink up your
milk, okay?

We've got to go in, like,
five minutes, all right?

PENNY: You
spilled your milk.

I told you
you're too little.

Patsy, can you not drink
a glass of milk for once
without spilling it, huh?

Hey, hey, hey, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

Daddy, why don't
the Flintstones ever
go to the beach?

I don't know.
Don't change the subject.

Where does Mommy
keep your sweaters?

Hey.
Hey.

Mommy, I ate all my cereals,
and Patsy didn't.
ANN: Oh, no.

Oh, it's okay,
we have accidents.

Okay, under the girls' bed,
in the green box,

there's another sweater
under there.

Okay, put up
your arms.

Come on, we've got to
take this off, okay, girlie?

Got a little bit of milk
on you. Oh, are you stuck?

Where's Patsy? I don't know.
There's Patsy.

DON: There you go.

Here you go.
Put that on.

ANN: Okay, come on. Arm out.

Lance's brother
rang me last night.

He said he might
have something for me.

No way?
Yes.

Where are the keys?
I can't find the keys.

They're still in
the ignition, I think.
They are?

ANN: Come on, okay, girls,
you've got to put on
your jackets.

DON: They've opened
a swimming pool business
on Wilmington Drive.

Mommy, do I have to tell Patsy
where babies come from?
I think she's too little.

ANN: She is too little.

Honey, can you put on
your jacket first?

They opened a swimming
pool business
on Wilmington Drive.

Oh, no way.
Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Good luck.
Yeah, thank you.

Hey, can you pick up
the girls from school,

because I might not
be back till later?

Yeah, sure.
No problem.
Okay. Guys...

ANN: You've got to put on
your hats and gloves, okay?

I'm going to warm up the car,
and we're going to be gone
in two minutes, okay?

Two minutes.

ANN: I want you to help Patsy
with hers as well, okay?
So get yours on and help.

Bye, guys,
have a good day.
Bye, Mom.

I got you, got you,
got you, got you.

Mmm.

Ann?

Ann, I'm hanging out
some wash.

You got anything
you want me to hang out?

Ann, are you in there?

Put your clothes in the bag,
and put on the robe.

Okay, do you know
if this is going
to take long?

I'm supposed to
pick up my kids.

I really have no idea.

Well, can I just go
tell my mom to pick
them up for me?

We can't make any exceptions.

Is your mother outside?

Yeah, she came in with me,
Ann Matland.

I forgot to tell her.
I wasn't thinking
when I came in.

I'll see what I can do.
Okay.

Now, if you could
get undressed,

or you really will
be here all day.

Thank you.

MAN: And now I'm here
because of my knee.

It wasn't me
that should have had...

NURSE: John, Charlie, Bob,
Seymour, Jack, and Bill.

Follow me, please.

Do you know
if the other nurse
told my mom

she had to go pick up
my kids? I was supposed
to go pick them up...

Who'd you tell it to?

The other nurse,
I don't know her name.

Do you know
how many nurses we have
working in this hospital?

Do you know what it's
like to be waiting
at the school gate

all on your own
with your nose
freezing to death

while all the other kids
get picked up by their moms?

Yeah, I do.

I'll go see
if I can find your mother.

Hi, Ann.
I'm Dr. Thompson.

I'll be looking at the results
of your ultrasound.

Why are we
doing this again?

How are your kids?

I'm kind of worried, actually,
because no one told my mom,

and I was supposed
to pick them up today, so...

Let's not worry
about that just now.

This will be over
in a few minutes.

Okay.

Ann, would you excuse me
for a moment?

Yeah, sure.
It's your hospital.

Ann, this is Dr. Stuart
and Dr. Lance.

Hi. Do you know
if someone told my mom

about picking up
my daughters?

We're only going to take
a few minutes, okay?

Does your husband
live with you?

Yeah, he... He builds
swimming pools.

He was out
all day today.

And you work
at the university?

Yeah. I clean
the university. Nights.

And you're 23.

I'll be 24 in December.
I'm an Aquarius.

How about you?
What star sign are you?

What the hell
is happening to me?

We've done the scan
three times, and...

Are you sure
you wouldn't prefer
to call your husband?

No, I would prefer
not to call him.

We've done the scan
three times,

and I've ordered
a pre-biopsy...

So, what?

You have a tumor...

...in both ovaries.

It's reached
your stomach,

and it's beginning
to spread to your liver.

Whoa.

That's pretty far gone, eh?

Ann, if you were 20 years
older, the whole thing would

be spreading more slowly,
and we could operate on it,

but...Your cells
are very young,

too young, in fact,

and I'm afraid
there's...

There's nothing
we can do.

Well, how...

How long?

Two months,
maybe three.

Here's me thinking
I was pregnant.

No, I'm afraid not.

I knew it was something
pretty serious

when you sat down
here beside me.

They're renovating my office,

changing the air-conditioning,
and...

No, that's not true.

I can't sit down
in front of someone

and tell them that
they're going to die.

I never have
been able to.

The nurses are
beginning to mention it.

Your family might want
to see another doctor.

They might want
a second opinion.

Someone who tells me
the exact same thing as you,
but looks me right in the eye?

Can I get you a coffee?

No.

Bourbon?

Let me guess,
you going to offer
me a cigarette?

No.

Do you have a
piece of candy?

A piece of...

Yeah.

It's pretty good.

What flavor is it?

Ginger.

Yeah, it's
pretty good.

It's a bit hot,
but it's okay.

I've prepared
some leaflets

which more or less
explain everything,

and some recipes
for easing the nausea,

and I'd like to see you
next week.

I've given you an appointment,
and my direct line

in case you need
to call me.

Yeah, okay. Do you have
another piece of candy?
One for the road?

I'm sorry,
that was my last one.

Next week
I'll have more candy.

ANN: Your dad used to drink
a bottle of bourbon
and call it breakfast.

You get wired if you drink
so much as a beer.

You didn't even take drugs
during high school,

just the odd drag
off Don's joint

without inhaling, like
that guy who used to be

President
of the United States,

that guy, Bill Clinton.

So, were they waiting long?

Oh, good.
Good, thanks a lot, Mom.
I owe you one.

No, now they're doing
blood analysis.

Apparently, I've got anemia.
That's why I've been fainting.

Yeah. No, no, you know,
you know what they're like,

once they've got you,
they don't want to let you go.

Trying out some new machine.
They're like little kids.

You know, I should go, Mom,
because the nurse is coming
to get me, so...

Okay, bye. Thanks a lot.

Now you feel
like you want to take
all the drugs in the world,

but all the drugs in the world
aren't going to change
the feeling

that your whole life's
been a dream,

and it's only now
that you're waking up.

DON: "'But I like to
eat cake in a tub,'
laughed the cat.

"'You should try it sometime,'
laughed the cat as he sat,

"and then I got mad,
there was just no
time for fun.

"I said, 'Can't
you get out?'"
ANN: Hi.

Hey.
ANN: Hello.

Hi, Mommy.

Hi.

Have you been good?
PATSY: Mom, can you
tell us a story?

Daddy does it too fast.

Hey, thanks a lot,
you little monster.

I don't read 'em
too fast.

How are you?
Good.

I've got anemia.
That's why I've been fainting,

so they gave me some iron and
some vitamins. I should be...

You have anemia?
How did it go
with Lance?

I, uh, I start on Monday.

Hey, no way!
That's so good.

Yeah. I know. I know.

I know, and there's
enough work for a year
at least.

Aw, that's so great!
I know, it's great,
it really is.

Did you give the girls
something to eat?

Well...
PENNY: Daddy gave us
milkshakes and fries.

He said we mustn't
tell you.

It was so nice.

PATSY: Mommy, Mommy,
I ate all my fries
and all my milkshake.

Fries are
vegetables, right?

They're potatoes,
which is a very good food,
it's one of the food groups.

No. No...

I'm sorry, okay?
It was a little treat.
I just got a job.

What is wrong with you?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay, the raft first,
the moon second.

Can I stay,
or should I go?

You can stay.

All right, that's okay.
Good night, you two.

PENNY: Bye.

All right, we have
to close our eyes.

We have to close our eyes
and we're setting off.

Okay?

Oh, no. Oh, no!

It's getting wavier and wavier
and then we... Whoosh!

And then we splash down
into the water.

Oh, no,
what's that?

Is that a shark?

It is a shark.

They're really,
really mad at us.

They thought that
this river was the ocean.
They're really mad!

MAN:
Because a lot of times,

you never get
the opportunity to use it.

The skip's tried the corner
a couple of times.

Actually, can you
leave me those?

Just wanted a taste.
All right.

Are you going to go to work?

Yeah, I ought to go in.

'Cause your mother said
she could get a lift back
if you want a rest.

No, I should go in.

I thought you were pregnant.

Yeah. Me too.

You sure you're all right?

Yeah, I'm good.
I'm just a little bit
tired, that's all.

...And, of course,
McAulay right now
seems to be dominating

what I call, I don't know,
the game in hand...

You know, next month
when I get my paycheck,

we could go
to Whalebay Beach.

Would you like that?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Patsy hasn't even been
to the beach before.

It'd be nice.

Yeah.

I've got a good feeling
about things.

With the swimming pools,
I mean.

I really do.

...at the Royal City
Curling Club, for the
best in prime rib...

ANN: Thinking...

You're not used to thinking.

When you have
your first kid at 17

with the only man
you ever kissed in your life,

and then another kid
when you're 19
with the same man,

and you live in a trailer
in your mom's backyard,

and your dad's been in jail
for 10 years,

you never have time to think.

Maybe you're so
out of practice,
you've forgotten how.

What is this?

It's coffee.
Yeah, I asked
for an espresso.

Yeah, but the machine
ain't working.

Then why didn't you
just say that to me?
Well, I can't...

"The espresso machine
wasn't working." Why didn't
you just tell me that?

Well, I figured
you wanted a coffee.
Coffee's coffee.

MAN: You brought me a coffee.
I asked for an espresso.

WAITRESS:
Okay, well, just relax.

Come back next week,
we'll have espresso.

MAN: Okay, thank you
very much, yeah.

Hey, could you please
lend me a pen?

Sure, honey, just tell me
what you want first,

so as I can write it down,

and then I can
lend it to you,

and that way,
we'll all be happy.

Okay, I'll have, um...

Don't say espresso,
'cause the espresso
machine ain't working,

and don't say cappuccino,
'cause it's the same machine.

Okay, I'll have a...
A Danish.

Got no more till tomorrow.

Could I get, then,
a coffee

and just something sweet,

like, anything you have
that's sweet.

Uh, pineapple
cheesecake?

It's the sweetest
thing we got.

Actually, it's the
only thing we've got.

That's fine, that's great.
Pineapple cheesecake.

Okay.
Thank you.

Here you go,
the world's sweetest
cheesecake.

You can keep the pen
for as long as you need it.

I already filled in
the lottery ticket earlier.

What are you going to do
if you win?
Have you decided?

Have I ever, honey.

I want to be like her.

I want her nose, her mouth,

her eyes, her hair,
her waist...

I'm going to be
so much like Cher

that folks are gonna stop me
in the supermarket

and say "Wasn't it
terrible what happened
to dear old Sonny?"

What do you think?

I think that's a really
fucking stupid idea.

I'm just kidding.
I think Cher's great.

Penny, Patsy, I'm making
a big heap of pancakes.

If you don't come
right this second,

I'm gonna eat all of them
all by myself.

PENNY: I'm coming, Mommy.
Nom, nom, nom...

Morning, buddy.

PENNY: Hi, Mommy.
Hello there. Good morning.

I guess Patsy doesn't want
any pancakes, eh?

No pancakes
for Patsy.

Nom, nom, nom!
Good morning, girl!

Who wants pancakes?

Is it Sunday yet?
Is it my birthday?

No, but you know what?

Last night I dreamt
that you both woke up
like hungry lions,

and you ate lots of food.

Roar!
Roar!

Hi, hi, hi.
Hi.

PENNY: Could you
please...

Yeah, I'll cut
it up for you.
There you go.

Are you going to take
the kids to school?

Roar!

Roar!

ANN: Oh, no!

Oh, no!

The biggest lion of them all.
Go get him, Patsy.

Bye.

I love you, my little lions.
I love you so much.

Bye.

ANN: I kind of want, um,
something different.

HAIRDRESSER: Different...

ANN: To what I've got
at the moment, I mean.

I could do you braids,
but it would take all day,

and I'm on my own here
on Wednesdays, so...

Not braids, no way.

Well, you've got
good hair for braids,

and you asked for
something different, so...

Braids are fine.

They look great
on you, but...

I was thinking
of something more...

How about blonde?

Blonde?

Something to kind of...

Brighten up my face a bit.

Something bright.

Like this?

I was also wondering
about false nails,

because I don't
have any nails, and...

Well, the girl
who does the nails

doesn't come in Wednesday.

Know you what, then?
Why I don't just
come back tomorrow?

Then we can do it
all at the same time,
can't we?

Braids as well?

Uh, I'll think about it.

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.

MOM: I had two
conventions today,

and I had to bake
a cake for 300 people
in the shape of a tire.

I'm beat.

Even my hips ache.

I think I'm going to
make an appointment
to see the doctor tomorrow.

My knee's acting up as well.

That damn cake
must have weighed
30 pounds.

How about you?
You feeling any better?

Yeah,
I'm feeling fine.

MOM: They say it's going
to snow this weekend,
but I don't think so.

ANN: I hate the snow.

MOM: I like the snow even
less than I like the rain.

WOMAN:
Because you'll never be
anything but a common frump

whose father
lived over a grocery store,

and whose mother
took in washing.

With this money,
I can get away from every
rotten stinking thing

that makes me think
of this place or you.

No, you must think
I'm on a string.

"Go away, Veda,
come back, Veda."

It isn't that easy.

ANN: Alone.

You're alone.

You've never been
so alone in your life.

Lies are your only company.

BARTENDER: Can I
get you something?

Yeah, can I get
a Molson Canadian?

Hi.

Hi.

I haven't seen
you here before.

No.

I'm sorry about the thing with
the braids this morning.

I shouldn't really
have suggested it,

but I was having a kind
of weird morning...

You ever get those?

You know, when you just
can't face the world?

It's very stressful
being a hairdresser.

People expect a lot from you,

and sometimes,
you can't stand
the pressure.

People want you
to make them beautiful,

but sometimes,
it's just not possible.

You know what?
Don't worry about it.

I wasn't having a great
morning either, so...

Now, can I ask you
a personal question?

Do you like Milli Vanilli?

You mean those
guys in shorts
who didn't sing?

Oh, you're wrong there.

They did sing,
but their producer
wouldn't let them.

He practically
blackmailed them,

and said he would tell
everyone their secret,

and he got all the royalties.

It was so unfair,

and later they showed
that they could sing,

but, you know,
no one listened to them.

You know, they were
too fragile for the
music industry.

What kind of music
do you like?

Music? Um...

God, I haven't listened
to any music in so long.

Uh, I used to like Nirvana.

I went to one of
their concerts.

Actually, it was
their last concert.

That's actually where I met
Don, my husband. He was...

Oh, hold that thought.

I've just got to
get up and dance.

The DJ's a friend of mine.
I'll be back.

Uh, I'm going to go get
a cup of coffee next door.

I was wondering
if maybe you wanted me
to go and get you one too?

Uh, no thanks.

Okay.

Yeah, actually,
please, yeah.

Sure. Milk and sugar,
please.

Thanks.

♪ Touch my hand

♪ It's only me, listen

♪ I'm here

♪ Come to stand

♪ In sultry fields

♪ With you ♪

Your coffee's cold.

I was kind of tired.

I, uh, washed and folded
your laundry.

Thanks.

I didn't forget
the softener, did I?

No, you forgot the soap.

Were you watching me
while I was asleep?

Uh, yeah,
for a little while.
I'm sorry.

Why?

I was snoring, or...

No, you were drooling.
You drool in your sleep.

Are you that girl?

That girl at the coffee shop

that was writing
in the journal
the other day?

Thanks for the jacket.

It's yours, isn't it?

Yeah, I mean,
you can keep it
if you want.

It's mighty cold out there,
and I'm used to it.

I was in Alaska
for three years.

I lived there, I mean,
two and a half.

It's all right.

I really like the cold.
It makes me feel really alive.

I've got to run.
I've got two young kids.
You know how it is.

Sure.

Uh...

Thanks.

I'll see you around.
My name's Lee.

Ann.

Hey.
Are you sure that you
don't need the jacket?

Oh, no, no.
Go ahead, take it.

Okay. I've never
been to Alaska.

I always really liked
the sound of it.

I'll bring
the jacket back.

No. I want you to have it.

I... I like the idea
of you wearing it.

That's nice.

I'll bring it back,
don't worry.

ANN: You see
things clearly now.

You see
all these borrowed lives,

borrowed voices.

Milli Vanilli everywhere.

You look at all the things
you can't buy...

Now you don't even
want to buy.

All the things that'll still
be here after you're gone,

when you're dead,

and then you realize
that all the things
in the bright window displays,

all the models
in the catalogs,

all the colors,
all the special offers,

all the
Martha Stewart recipes,

all the piles of greasy food,

it's just all there
to try to keep us
away from death,

and it doesn't work.

So it turns out that she
loved her daughter so much

that she didn't tell her
that she was her mother,
because she didn't...

You know, she thought
that that would be better,
you know,

that the boy's parents
would accept her better,

and that the boy
would ask her to marry him,

which was what she wanted
most in the whole world.

But it was
a huge sacrifice,

and she suffered
a whole lot...

Hey.

She, uh...
Mommy, Grandma told us
a beautiful story about a mom

who had a lot of bad things
happen to her.
It's really sad.

Oh, goodness,
how unusual.

Hello, Patsy.

I bathed them, and Penny ate
three slices of banana bread,
and Patsy drank some milk.

Lately, she's been
kind of off it.

ANN: Thanks.

PENNY: Grandma's story's
a movie, Mommy,

and she says
she likes it a lot.

ANN: Really?
Yeah, Joan Crawford.

Oh, Joan Crawford,
that's great.

Okay, let's go, guys.
Patsy, come on, let's go.

Patsy, put that down.
Let's go.

Patsy, we're going.
I just want to keep them
entertained, you know,

so they don't watch
so much TV.

Next time,
I'll keep my mouth shut.

Mommy, I don't want
to go to school tomorrow.

I don't want to.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.

I know, I know, I know.

I said thanks, okay,
so just drop it.

I don't need your thanks.

Okay, so I'll take
them back, then.

All I did was watch your kids
while you did your shopping.

You asked me to.
Yeah, I asked you to.

I didn't ask you
to fill their heads
with stupid stories

about mothers
making dumb-ass sacrifices.

Well, what kind of stories
do you want me to tell them?

Cinderella?
About murderous stepmothers?
Is that what you want?

Yes!

Let's go, girls.

There's times that
you're just like your father,

and let me tell you,
it's not something I like.

You're wrong. There's times
I'm just like you.

It's not something
I like either.

Come on.

Let's go. Put on your socks.
Thank you, Penny.

Ow! Ow!

I know, Patsy.
I'm sorry, it's just
really tangled, okay?

Patsy's always whining.

Oh, come on, Penny,
please don't pick on her.

You always complain when
I brush your hair too.

Why do you have to do that?
I wasn't picking on her.

Oh, and telling me that
she's always complaining,

that's not
picking on her?
I think so.

I wasn't picking on her.

I'm not always
complaining.

Okay, that's
enough, guys.

Let's go to bed, okay?

Okay, Mama.

Okay, good night, monkey girl.
You got kitty?

PATSY: Yeah.
ANN: There you go.

You've got some covers.
Night, buddy.

You don't want me
to kiss you?

I wasn't
picking on her.

Penny, that is enough,
I said, okay?

Good night.
PATSY: Good night.

PENNY: It's true, you're
just like Grandma.

Hey, there's
some chicken left over.
Hey.

Aren't you going
to say hello?

Hello.
Hello.

How many
beers have you had?

Uh... One or two or...

Four. I don't know.

You want some chicken
or don't you?

Nah, I want a kiss.

I want a big, juicy kiss.

Here's some chicken.

Great. Chicken.

Mmm, it's good.

Have the girls
been in bed long?

Yeah, a little while.

Penny was picking
on Patsy again.

I told her not to
and she got kind of
mad at me.

She did?
Yeah, a little bit.

Hey, we started a pool
out at Rushmore today.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

It's crescent-shaped.
It's going to look wild.

These people, they got...

They got a three-story house,

they got a porch
out of Gone With The Wind
and everything.

It's beautiful.

Are you happy?

I mean, with the
swimming pool thing, I mean.

Yeah, it's good.

I mean, you know,
it's not like the factory,

but it's better than nothing.

I'm going to
get to work.

You're not just going
to leave me here alone

gnawing on a cold
chicken bone, are you?

If you like,
you can always
heat it up,

but I thought you really
loved cold food.

I do.
Why don't you just
eat it cold?

Will you sing to me?

No, I have
to go to work.

Come on, you know
how much I love it
when you sing to me.

Please, just sing to me.

♪ I may not always love you

♪ But long as there
are stars above you

♪ You'll never need
to doubt it

♪ I'll make you
so sure about it

♪ God only knows
what I'd be without you

♪ God only knows
what I'd be ♪

Hi.

Hi.

Bye.

Bye.

Hey, my buddy, Penny.

I'm not going to be
at your birthday party,

but there's nothing
I'd like more in the
whole wide world.

I'll bet Grandma's made
a special birthday cake
just for you

with your name on it
in big chocolate letters.

Penny,

I want you to know
that the day that you
were born,

I held you in my arms,

and that was the
happiest day of
my whole life.

I was so happy,
I couldn't even speak.

I just stroked
your tiny little feet,

and I cried with happiness.

Without you,
I could have never found out
that lions eat pancakes,

or that the bed
could be a raft.

Try and look after
Patsy, okay?

I know it's hard 'cause
sometimes she makes you
mad and everything.

I know it's not easy
being a big sister, buddy,

but I know that
you can do it, okay?

Mommy sends you millions
and millions of kisses.

Happy birthday,
my darling little Patsy.

Now you're five!

I'll bet that Penny
looks after you now.

I bet she doesn't
pick on you anymore.

Honey, I don't want
you to be sad

that I'm not at your
birthday, okay

I remember your first birthday
really well, you know?

I remember how

you started to cry
and you wouldn't stop

because you didn't like
how we were singing
Happy Birthday.

Every time we started to sing,
you'd just scream and yell

because you didn't like
how we were singing.

Happy birthday,
my little buddy.

Mommy loves you to bits.

Buddy, I want you to be happy.

I know sometimes
that's not easy,

'cause sometimes
things happen,

and people aren't always
like you want them to be.

Talk to your dad if there's
things bothering you, okay?

He knows more
than you'd think.

Seriously, if there's...
If there's something
bothering you,

and you're not sure
about something,
ask him, he'll tell you.

Grandma knows
lots of things too.

I really hope
she'll explain
them to you.

Try and be patient
with her, okay?

She... She is a good person,
even if it doesn't always
seem that way.

She's...

None of the things
she always dreamed about
ever came true, you know?

Try and understand her.

Don't let her make you mad.

If you get a new mom,
try and love her, okay?

Don't make life
impossible for her

just out of some loyalty
to me or something
like that, you know. Just...

I know.

I know it's not the same.

And whatever happens,
you finish school.

Even if you think it sucks
and you don't know
if you can take it anymore,

you just finish school.

I'd like to be able
to tell you stuff about boys

and boyfriends
and relationships
and that kind of stuff.

I think I wouldn't
be much help.

I was 17 when
you were born, Penny,

exactly how old
you are right now.

You have to have
faith in yourself.

You have to have faith
in your ability to do things,

to just make a go of it.

And lots of kisses
and cuddles,

even though I know you're not
a small little thing anymore.

Ann, is something wrong?

What is it?

Is it that diet
you're on?

Ann?

How come you're
throwing up?

You're not taking
those slimming pills, are you?

You want to know
why I'm throwing up?

You really want to know?
Mmm-hmm.

I'm throwing up because
when I was eight years old,

the girl who was supposed
to be my best friend

told everyone I was a slut.

I'm throwing up
because when I was
15 years old,

I didn't get invited
to the only party

I ever wanted to go to
in my entire life.

I'm throwing up
because when I was 17,
I had my first kid,

and I had to
grow up overnight,

and I've got
no more dreams.

Without dreams,
you can't fucking live.

I'm throwing up because
since they put my dad in jail,
I haven't seen him.

I don't have anything
from him.

I don't even have
a single fucking postcard.

And then in all
the commercials,

everybody's so fucking happy,

and all day long,
my two little daughters

sing those stupid
fucking songs

from those stupid
fucking commercials.

Mmm.

If I beg you,

if I get down on my knees
to beg you,

please,

don't give me the name
of that diet you're on.

Hi. I didn't wake you up,
did I?

It's Ann.

Can I bring you back
your book now?

Yeah, right now.

Yeah, okay,
I know where that is.

It's got a bit wet.

Don't worry about it.

What happened?

You didn't keep up
the payments
on your furniture,

and they took it all away?

No.

Well, actually, I was...

I was planning on getting
some furniture one day.

I just haven't really
had the time.

Sorry, I'd offer
you something,

but, uh, I don't
have anything.

I don't even have any glasses.

Not even, like,
a cookie or something?

Nothing.

I would have bought
you something if I
knew you were coming.

I would have
bought something.

I can live
without cookies.

Who took all
your furniture?

Someone...

Took it, yeah.

You don't want
to get any more

'cause you think
she might come back?

You want to sit down?

Um...

Are they okay?

What did you do
in Alaska?

I'm a surveyor.

I survey land
for building highways,

and bridges
and things like that.

Before that,
I was in, um, Chile.

Before that,
I was in North Carolina,

and before that,
Halifax.

What are your
daughters called?

Penny and Patsy.

Would you like to see
a photograph?

Okay.

They look happy.

They look like you.

Do I look happy?

Not happy.

You look beautiful.

You look
like your girls.

Have you been
thinking about me?

Yeah.

I've been thinking
about you a lot.

Too much.

Um, I got a sister,
you know, who...

She works for this
radio company up north,

and she makes these
tapes for me that
she sends to me,

music that she likes,

and, uh, I've got
the latest one

out in my car right now.

If, uh...

We could go listen to it,
if you want.

(SENZA FINE
PLAYING IN ITALIAN)

If you don't
kiss me right now,
I'm going to scream.

Shut up.

If you don't
kiss me right now,

I'm going
to fucking scream.

Hello, Ann.

This some kind
of therapy to get
over your shyness?

Something like that.

So you didn't
come last week.

There didn't seem to
be a lot of point.

I have to give you
a further scan
and a fuller biopsy.

Okay, no, I'm sorry.

I don't want any
of those things, okay?

I'm sorry... I need to
feel like I've got
some control.

So I don't want any
more tests if they're not
gonna save me.

I don't wanna be here,
I don't want to die here.

I will not have the only
thing my kids remember
about me be a hospital ward.

So why are you here then?

It's this package.

I want you to look
after it for me.

I don't know. What is it?

I've recorded birthday
messages for both
of my daughters,

for every birthday
till they're 18.

And you want me
to give these to them?

Why don't you
ask your husband?

'Cause...

'Cause Don, you know,
he'd lose them

or maybe he'd give them
to them next year,
and maybe the year after that,

or maybe he'd give
them to them all at once.

They wouldn't understand
a thing if he did that,

so... Can you just tell
me you'll do it, please?

I'll only do it if you
promise to come
here every week

and I have to
give you medication.

I would imagine that the
nausea's got worse,
you're not eating.

Dying's not as easy
as it looks, you know?

But there's no need for
you to have to feel
terrible all the time.

It's just...

It's just I'm kind of afraid

I'm going to come in
here one day and then
I'm never gonna leave...

I've got to so much
I have to do before I die,

I have so many things
I have to do. Like,

I have to do them, or...

It'll only be just
some painkillers.

Promise we won't
do any more tests,

just something to
ease the pain.

And anyway...

I brought you
some candies.

So you'll look
after it for me?
Of course.

Let's just say it's, um,
part of your therapy.

God...

These candies
are so good.

Oh, I don't get it.

I've been counting
my calories today,

and I can't have
eaten more than 1500,

and in theory I need 2000,

so in theory I should
have lost weight.

And I just weighed myself
before I left the house

and I weigh nearly a pound
more than I did yesterday.

Must be my metabolism.

They should give us
compensation for
slow metabolisms.

Give us some
kind of allowance.

Laurie, you want to
come over for dinner
tomorrow night?

Yeah, I'd love to.

Great.

Diet food, I hope.

Don't want to ruin my diet.

ANN: It's cold in the
supermarket, and
you like it like that.

People always read the labels
of their favorite brands
really really carefully

just to see how many
chemicals they have,

and then they just sigh
and they put them
in their cart anyway,

like they're saying,
"Sure, it's bad for me,

"it's bad for my
family, but we like it."

No one ever thinks about
death in a supermarket

60 dollars and
48 cents.

ANN: Girls, you finish
those mashed potatoes, okay?

Oh, God.

These ribs are so great.

How did you get
them this tender?

I can never get
mine this tender.

I leave them soaking in
milk in the fridge for
a couple of hours.

You leave them
soaking in milk

in the fridge for
a couple of hours.

Yeah.
Thank you.

I'm trying
to remember that.

Patsy, hey, stop
playing with your food.

Patsy?

Ann, tell Patsy to stop
playing with her food.

Stop playing with your food.
Eat a little more.

It's more fun playing
with it than eating it.

You know that eating
food can be fun too?

Why?

Well, because...

Because, well,
you're doing new things,

you're trying new things
and that's fun.

Mashed potatoes
isn't new.

It's more fun doing
things with it.

Laurie, why don't you
have some more sauce?

Here, Don made it himself.

Goodness me.

I didn't know your
husband cooked.

I didn't know there were
husbands that cooked.

It wasn't really cooking.

I just added honey
to a bottle of barbecue sauce.

Well that's
better than nothing.

You could have lied,

say you made
the whole thing.

ANN: No, Don would never lie.
He wouldn't even know how.

How did you two guys meet?

We met at a Nirvana concert.

Actually it was the
last Nirvana concert

before Kurt Cobain... Yeah.
Oh, my God.

Did you save the tickets?

They must be
worth a fortune by now.

No, no we
didn't save them.

No, we were sort of too
excited to keep them.

I mean, it was so...

Ann spent the whole
concert crying.

I didn't really like
Nirvana back then,

so I was this kind of bored
and I was looking around,

and that's when I saw Ann.

She was this beautiful girl
just crying her eyes out.

So I went up to her

and I offered
her a handkerchief,

but I didn't have
a handkerchief,

I didn't even
have a paper one,

so I just...

I took off my T-shirt
and I gave it to her.

That's how we met.

That's really romantic.

Oh, do you have any more
mashed potatoes?

Yeah, sure. Clean your
hands, please.

You're a pig.

She's basically a
nice person, you know?

Oh Christ, Ann.

No, come on,
don't talk so loud.

Penny's right.

I mean, the
woman ate eight ribs.

And they were
fucking huge ribs.

Did you see
those things?

I know, but her...

They were
fucking huge.

Her fiancé dumped
her the day before
her wedding, you know?

What happened?
He invited her to
an all-you-can-eat,

and they wanted
to charge her triple?

That's not funny, Don.
That's not funny.

Food can be fun.

Food can be fun.

She's a really
nice person.

She really is.
She's just...

Lately she's got
this obsession.

Yeah, lately you seem
to have the opposite.

It's the anemia.

Gonna go get more
vitamins this week,
go to the hospital.

Do you want me
to come with you?

No, don't worry,
I can manage.

Okay.

You know,
tonight, I realized

how lucky we were
to meet that night.

I mean, in spite
of everything,

in spite of living
in this shithole,

in spite of never
having anything new,

in spite of never
going on vacation...

You never complained once.

Not once.

I would...

I would like
to be better for you.

I love you,
you know that?

Don't you ever
forget that.

I love you.

What are you doing?

I'm sweeping up.

What are you doing?

I'm the queen witch,

and I'm teaching
this little witch
how to make spells.

I'm the little witch.

Really? What kind of
spells are you doing?

Oh, just normal spells,
turning frogs into cars

and turning lizards
into airplanes.

I'd love... You know
how to do that?

Are you gonna teach me?

Sure. I have
no strings to...

Hi, there. I'm Ann.

Hi.
I see you've already
met Penny and Patsy.

Yeah. I'm also Ann.

Oh, yeah? There you go.
Nice to meet you.

So, you just
moved in, or...

Yeah, a few days ago.

I was just trying
to do some
gardening or something.

Looks great.
They're so sweet.

Their little get-ups on...

Listen, this is kind of
a weird question

since we just met
and everything,
but I was wondering,

I'm heading out for
about half an hour...

Because both my husband
and my mom aren't back yet,

I was wondering if there's
any chance you could just
keep an eye on them

for half an hour
if you're around.

Of course, no problem.
Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm gonna
be here all day, and

they were gonna show me
how to do some spells...

Oh, there you go.
They're very
good at spells.

Okay, don't worry.
Thanks a lot.

Bye, guys. You behave
yourselves, okay?

Ann's gonna watch you
for a little bit.

A lizard.
Thank you so much.

It's okay.

Um, so help me here.

Who's Patsy and
who's Penny?

Hey.
Hi.

My body hurt thinking
you weren't gonna come.

I wasn't gonna come.

I'm glad you did.

Well...

Is this one of
your sister's tapes?

Yeah.

Would you like to dance?

And then the
little mermaid said
to the taxi driver,

"I want to see New York.
Please, show me New York."

He said, "It's so big.

"You can't, you can't
just walk around New York."

So the taxi driver
took her to the
Empire State Building,

and, you know, it's so
high, it has two elevators,

because they couldn't
find just one cable to
build one, you know?

They had to build two.

So he got on
the first elevator,

and then on
the second elevator

that's as fast
as a space rocket,

and they got to the top
of the Empire State Building,

and the little mermaid
was looking down,

and she said "Oh, my God.

"People look like ants,
they're so small."

ANN: Hey, guys.
Hello there.

We played witches
and princesses.

And Ann
did our braids.

They look beautiful.
Thank you, Ann.

I'm sorry
I took so long.

No, that was fine.
We had a great time.

Are you sure?
They're great kids.

Were you guys good?

Yeah.
Good.

Want your witches' hats?

Tomorrow, can we
finish the story

about the mermaid
and the taxi driver?

Of course.
My pleasure.

Give Ann
a kiss goodbye.

We have to go have bath
and suppertime now,

but maybe we
can come back

and hear the end
of that story, okay?

Thank you so much, Ann.

Let's go.

Hey, Ann?
Yeah?

I was just gonna
make some coffee.

You wanna come over?

Great.

Just let me
finish doing this.

Okay.

Do you take sugar?

No, no,
it's all right.

Why? You're not
on a diet, are you?

No. Why, should I

No. I just have this friend

who's obsessed with
diets and calories,

and she goes on
and on and on.

Boring.

No, I've seen too
many people sick with
anorexia and bulimia.

I'm a nurse...

So I'm not
really bothered.

You know, you've
got really cute kids.

Yeah, they're great,
aren't they?
Yeah.

What about you?
What?

You want
to have kids?
No. No, I don't think so.

Why not?

You think it's stupid
to bring them into the world,

or...

Just haven't found
the right guy, or...

Uh, no, I haven't.

No, but it's
not that either, no.

Do you think
you can't, or...

Uh, no. Well, I
don't know, actually.

But, um...

Okay, um...

I was in my last year
of nursing college.

We were doing
some work experience

in a pediatric hospital.

I'd decided
to specialize in kids,

because I've always
liked them.

Maybe because
I was an only child.

I don't know.
Anyway... Um,

one night, I was on duty,

and they called me in
to help with a birth.

This woman was overdue,

she was expecting twins,
and the babies were in danger.

So they decided
to do a cesarean,

and the mother was put
under a general anesthetic,

and...

It turned out
they were Siamese twins.

You know, Siamese?

They were born
with one torso,

one set of lungs...

They hardly cried.

They weren't
horrible to look at.

No, no, they were just
like any other baby.

But...

You know, there was no way
they were gonna survive.

It's impossible.

So...

We put them in an incubator

while the doctors
talked to the father

about what they should do.

The father didn't even
want to see them.

So they decided to take
them out of the incubator,

and, um...

Wait for them to die,

and I offered
to be with them

until they...

I just couldn't bear the
thought of them dying alone

in a cold hospital room.

They lived 30 hours.

I held them in
my arms 30 hours.

I sang every
song I knew,

songs of the world
they would never see.

Anyway, they...

Just grew smaller
and smaller in my arms.

First, the boy
died, and...

Six hours later,
the girl died, so...

Since then, I've specialized
in geriatric nursing.

Yeah.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

I don't know why I
told you this story.

Thanks for the coffee.

You know what?
I'd better be going.

Really, I'm sorry.

Do you wanna come over
for dinner next week?

Are you sure?

Yeah, no, I would
really love you to.

I know the girls would
really love it too,

because you have
to tell them

the end of that
mermaid story.

They love that story.

I'd love to, Ann,

and you know,
that story is happy.

That's...

Thank you so much.
I'd love to.

Okay.

Read me something.

Read me something that
you're reading right now.

I'm reading a very sad
book at the moment.

Beautiful, but sad.

It can't be as sad
as the story I heard today.

Tell it to me.

I can't.
It'll make me too sad.

Yeah, you don't wanna
tell it to me,

because it's part
of your life,

and you don't want
me to know anything

about your life.

I like it that you
don't ask me anything
about my life.

I don't ask
you anything

because I've
learned not to.

When you look
at somebody...

Really look at them,

you might see 50%

of who they are,

and wanting
to know the rest,

that's what
destroys everything.

That's what I learned.

Whoever took away
your furniture

really taught you
a lesson, eh?

Yeah, that's all
she left me.

Do you really want me
to read you something?

Mmm-hmm, please.
Read me something.

Okay.

Pick something.

To The Wedding
by John Berger.

"Her capacities
go out one by one,

"and there's no
night, no stars,

"only a cellar from which
she can never walk,

"and in which
nobody else can stay.

"She's given medicines
which make her ill,

"but which stop her dying
for a little while.

"They're scared.

"I'm scared..."

You know, I didn't
think it was that bad.

No, I like it.
I just...

I don't want to
read right now.

I lied...

When I said that when
you look at somebody,

you know 50%...

Because when
I look at you,

I see...

I don't know,
maybe 10%...

And that 10% is...

ANN: It's not so bad.

Is it?

It's my birthday.
Wish me happy birthday.

Happy birthday, mom.

Aren't you gonna
start the car?

I've got something
to tell you, mom.

Oh, it must be serious,

otherwise you'd tell me
while we were driving.

I need to know
where my dad is.

Are you gonna
go and see him?

I guess that bugs you.

No.

Not even that
can make me mad anymore.

This time last year, this

very same day, my birthday,

I thought I should
do something,

I don't know why.

So I put on some makeup

and the least old
clothes I could find,

and I, I went to a bar,

and I ordered a whisky and

started talking
to the bartender.

He was just a kid.

He'd just started
at the hotel.

It was his first job.

And we chatted
about this and that,

and I told him
it was my birthday.

About five minutes later, he

presented me with
a bowl of peanuts

with a candle in,

and, uh...

I started to cry.

I cried so hard the kid
got scared, and he

blew out the candle
and hid the bowl of peanuts,

and I said, "No, don't
blow out the candle,

"don't hide the peanuts."

And all this year,
all I could think about was

that bowl of peanuts,
and how I started to cry.

So this year,
I baked myself a cake.

Because I knew
if I went back to that bar,

I'd give the kid
a heart attack.

Start the car.

Five minutes.

You're almost done too.

Am I hurting you?

No, not at all.

She's great with nails.

Now, don't you ask her
to give you a perm

or braids or anything,

but with nails,
she's the best.

I've got a manicure
diploma and everything.

I'm not interested
in hair or heads.

Give me hands every time.

So do you like
Milli Vanilli as well?

I'm from Segovia.

We don't have any
Milli Vanilli in Segovia.

Milli Vanilli is universal.

Thank you very much.
Thanks.

So, see you soon.

No.

No?

You know, braids
really suit you.

They look
really great on you.

You think so?

Yeah.

Bye.
Bye.

♪ I may not always love you

♪ But long as there
are stars above you

♪ You'll never need
to doubt it

♪ I'll make you
so sure about it

♪ God only knows
what I'd be without you... ♪

Hi.

Hi.

How are you, Ann?

This is Penny
and this is Patsy.

Penny's six,
and Patsy's four.

They're very pretty
young girls.

You haven't been
wasting your time.

You could say that.

What about
your husband?

Don?

Uh, he builds
swimming pools.

Swimming pools,
no less?

Yeah, he's doing
pretty good.

I got work here, you know.

Sewing sports shoes together.

Yeah, a sports shoe
can take up to
86 different pieces.

Did you know that?
No.

We sew the side
pieces on here,

and then in another jail,
they finish them off.

It's good work.

Sure.

People are always gonna
want to need shoes, huh?

Ann, I suppose your
mother still hates me.

Dad, mom hates everyone.

Yeah, I bet
she hates me the most.

Sometimes, yeah.

Some of us...

Just can't live
the kind of life

that other people
want us to live.

You know?

No matter how hard you try...

You just can't do it.

Yeah, I guess.

You believe me,
don't you?

Yeah.

I believe you.

It's hard.

Like, you know, you...

You love someone,
and you can't make
them happy.

It's kind of like
you love them, but...

You can't love
them the way they
want to be loved,

you know what I mean?

If you send me
the kids' shoe sizes,

I can make some
shoes for them.

Okay.

I want to touch your face.

I remember how
it used to feel.

I've forgotten a lot
of things. I remember that.

I remember, um,

you used to,
before you'd
leave the house,

you'd put on
this record of
ringing bells,

and then you'd just
leave, like, right away.

I used to like to hear
the music from the house

as I was walking
down the street.

It was really pretty.

It was.

It was always
the same record.

It was The Mule Serenade.

That's really pretty.

Take care of
yourself, dad, okay?

Yeah, you too,

and remember to send me
the girls' shoe size, okay?

Yeah, I will.

Hey, Penny.

Going to have
a good day at school?
Mmm-hmm.

Give me a kiss. Yeah?

Okay, have a good day.

I hope you feel
better, mommy.

I want you to
feel better again.

Okay. You have a
good day, all right?

Bye.

Hey, Patsy.

Give me a cuddle,
mommy.

Okay, I'll give
you a cuddle.

How's that
for a cuddle?

I need to go now.

You have to go
to school now? Okay.

I know, you're in
a bit of a hurry.

Mmm-mmm.

Hey.
Hey.

Are you sure
this is anemia?

Maybe we should go see
another doctor.

No, I know it's
anemia. They did,
like, a million tests,

and I've been taking
all the vitamins.

They just told me
I need to rest,
so, you know,

I took care of all
of you guys when
you were sick.

It's your turn
to take care of me.

Okay.
Okay.

I think I'm gonna like
taking care of you.

Yeah? Let's see if
you're any good at it.

Okay. Bye.
Bye.

Bye.

Don...

I want you to understand

why I didn't tell you
I was gonna die.

It was like...

It was like the only
present I could give you
and the girls, you know,

to save you all the
trips to the hospital

and all the stress

and the waiting around
in waiting rooms,

and I know if you
think about it, you'll
know that I'm right.

Now you have to be happy...

And you have to
look after the girls.

You have to make
them happy too.

Dream up a heaven for me.

Don't let them be sad
when they remember me.

You just remind them

all the great things
we did together.

I love you, Don.

You'll always be the guy
who took off his t-shirt

to wipe away my tears.

♪ If you
should ever leave me

♪ My life would still
go on believe me

♪ The world would
show nothing to me

♪ So what good
would living do me?

♪ God only knows
what I'd be without you ♪

Sorry it's so off key.

It always kind of was, though.

Hi, mom.

Well, I guess you're
never gonna forgive me

for not telling you
I was gonna die,

so it's just one
more thing to blame the
world for, I guess.

I love you.

I know that you love me.

I know you adore
the girls, so...

Please, uh, tell them that.

Try and show them
that you love them just
a little bit every day,

and try to enjoy life,
you know, a little...

Just a little bit.

I mean, maybe at some point,

you could go on a date.

That would be fun,

or you could put an
ad in the paper or anything...

You know, I just think
you could have a little fun.

You're really beautiful, and
you've got a great heart, and

just try and
enjoy stuff more.

Please help Don.

You can tell the girls
any stories you like,

even Joan Crawford movies.

(SONG PLAYING ON
CAR RADIO)

♪ If you've never
been in love

♪ And you're longing
for the happiness it brings

♪ Try your wings ♪

Your sister really knows
how to pick a song.

You like it?

Yeah, it's great.

It's Blossom Dearie.
You ever heard of her?

No, what's that?

Blossom Dearie?
Oh, she's amazing.

She's still singing,
and she's 83 years old.

83?

And she plays
in this little club

behind a
Chinese lounge,

and, uh, she has this
tiny little voice

and this
tiny little body

and such
personality, and...

83.

Yeah, she's 83.

I'd love
to take you there.

Ann, there's so many
places I'd like
to take you.

Tell me about the places
you'd like to take me.

Okay.

In the south of Chile,
there is a desert.

It's stunning,

pure white and
flat as far as the
eye can see,

and the only thing
that breaks the line
of the horizon

are these robin-egg
blue little houses.

And in the morning,

the sky goes
completely green.

It's unworldly.

And in, um, in Argentina...

A glacier lake,

and in the spring,
when the thaw comes on,

these huge blocks
of ice, I mean huge,

the size of
apartment buildings,

come sliding off the
glacier into the lake,

and your heart is
pounding out of your chest.

It's terrifying.

And Mexico
and Alaska...

You okay?

What's the matter?

Just... I'm not gonna
see these places.

Ann, what is it?

What's the matter?

You don't want to tell me.

I'm so sorry, Lee.

I really need
to get out of here.

Okay.

Waiter, can I
get the check?

Thank you.

I always wanted to
come here. It's...

Could you get them
to put this in a
doggy bag for me?

Sure.

Thanks.

Okay, I'll meet you
outside, okay?

You have to go.

He's gonna be here
any minute.

He works nearby.

It's better if he
comes and picks me up.

This happens
occasionally, so...

Ann, there's something
that I have to tell you,

and I have
to tell you now.

Lee...
I love you.

I'm in love with you...

And the world seems
less terrible

because you exist.

I feel like
I want to be with you

for the rest of my life,

and all that,
the palpitations

and the nerves and the
pain and the happiness

and the fear...

I wanna,

I wanna touch you
all the time,

I wanna take care
of you and your girls,

and even find your
husband a decent job

and get you a house
that doesn't have wheels.

Careful.

That sounds like
a classic case of
falling in love.

I am in love.

I'm classically in love.

The classic husband

who's gonna be
here any minute,

and the classic
depression that sets in

every time you
go off with him,

and the crying,
and the tears,

and everything.

I'll go...

But I don't want
to see you driving off
with some guy, you know?

Someone you don't know,

so I'll be watching...

Unless, of course,
it's your husband.

Ann, I feel terrible

that I invited you
over to dinner,

and now you have to
do all the work.

That's okay.
I just have to
heat up this.

DON: I still don't
understand why
you had to go

to that restaurant
in your condition.

I told you.
I thought I was
feeling better.

NURSE ANN: A bad case of
anemia isn't something

you should take lightly.
You should rest.

DON: Yes, listen
to nurse Ann, Ann.

Ann, Ann, Ann, Ann!

DON: Yeah, wasn't
that fun?

I think you could go
wash your hands,

because this is ready.

DON: Go wash up, girls.
Come on.

NURSE ANN: Don? You too.
Yeah?

All right.
Yes, ma'am.

ANN: You pray that
this will be your
life without you...

You pray that the girls
will love this woman

who has the same name as you,

and that your husband
will end up loving her too,

and that they can live
in the house next door,

and the girls can play
doll houses in the trailer

and barely remember
their mother

who used to sleep
during the day

and take them on
raft rides in bed.

You pray that they will
have moments of
happiness so intense

that all of their problems
will seem insignificant

in comparison.

You don't know who or
what you're praying to,

but you pray.

You don't even regret the life
that you're not gonna have,

because by then
you'll be dead,

and the dead
don't feel anything,

not even regret.

My darling Lee,

I guess by the time
you get this tape,

you'll know that I'm dead,

and, well, all that.

Maybe you're angry with me
or hurt, or sad, or upset,

or maybe you're
all of it together.

I just want you to know
that I fell in love with you.

I didn't dare tell
you, because

I thought
you kind of knew,

and I didn't realize
I had so little time.

Actually, time is
the one thing

I haven't had
enough of recently.

Life is so much better
than you think, my love.

I know because

you managed
to fall in love with me

even though you saw,
what was it, you saw 10% or

five, maybe?

Maybe if you'd seen it all,
you wouldn't have liked me...

Or you would have liked me
in spite of everything.

I guess we'll never know.

Oh, and one last thing...

Lee, for god's sake,

just paint your walls
and buy some furniture.

All right?

I don't want the next
woman you take home

to get the wrong
idea about you

and run off before she
gets a chance to know you.

Not everyone's
as crazy as I am.

I loved dancing with you.

♪ Touch my hand

♪ It's only me, listen

♪ I'm here

♪ Come to stand

♪ In sultry field

♪ With you

♪ And now

♪ Old dummy day

♪ I know

♪ Is over this way

♪ I'm laughing

♪ Saw you gonna kiss me

♪ You see

♪ Yeah, as I said

♪ One day

♪ She won't

♪ A lonely bird

♪ Alone ♪