Original subtitles

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Take one of these

and call me in the morning.

♪♪

[ Cow moos ]

♪♪

[ Humming ]

Looking good, Mr. Gus.

Looking good.

Oh!

Let's take that off.

[Glass shatters] Oof!

[ Squeaking ]

What in the name of greasy gammon?

Sorry about your window.

You want to play some bacon ball with me and Pizza Steve?

Bacon ball?

No, I don't have time for that.

I happen to be going on a very important date

with a special lady friend.

I met her online using my mobile chess-club app.

Take a gander.

Ooh! A lady friend!

Say now, she seems like

a real sharp cookie. And she's quite the looker,

[ Squeaking] if I don't say so myself.

Mr. Gus, on a date?

Pfft!

Talk about a snoozefest!

Hey, I'll have you know that Denise and I

have developed quite the rapport online

and I don't need you two and your gross bacon ball

raining on my parade.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my lovely date will be here

any minute, so I've got to finish getting ready.

[Chuckles giddily] -Aww, Mr. Gus is in love.

[ Shimmer!] Ugh!

Come on, Uncle G. You're up to bat.

Okay, Peezy, let's see what kind of heat

you're packing in that little arm of yours.

Let's see if you can hit my super duper

Pizza Steve fastball!

[ Whack ]

[ Rock music plays ]

[ Clank ]

Aaah! Uhh.

Oh, my gosh! We just knocked out

this nice lady with our bacon ball.

Wait! Pizza Steve, look.

Check out the pin on her shirt:

Chess Club!

This is the girl Mr. Gus was talking about!

Not good, bro.

She's out cold!

Now Mr. Gus won't be able

to go on a special date with his lady friend.

And this may be the only lady in the universe

actually willing to date boring Mr. Gus.

What are we gonna do?

Hmm....

I got it!

Okay, so here's... the plan.

Remember that one Halloween when we...

[ Whispering ]

Ooh!

[Doorbell rings] Oh, that must be Denise!

Just in time. Com-ing!

Hello, De-Denise?

[ Whimsical tune plays ]

Pizza Steve: Hello, Mister -- Ahem!

[high-pitched] Hello there, Mr. Gus.

So good to finally meet you.

Uh, yes. You too, uh, Denise.

You sure look different from your pictures online.

Oh, man, Pizza Steve, what are you gonna say?

I don't know.

[high-pitched] Oh! [laughs]

Yes, uh, the pictures don't do me justice.

Now how about that date?

Heh heh. Ready when you are.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

So, Denise, see anything you like?

Oh, um, let me see here.

What the...

Uncle G, the menu's upside down!

Sorry!

How was I supposed to know?

I'm down here in the stomach.

Let's see here.

Um...Um... [laughs nervously]

They make menus so complicated these days.

Uncle G! Come on!

Well, I can't see down here!

I'm comin' up.

[Grunting] -Wait, what?

[gasp] Just let me see, and I can hold the menu correctly.

There's not enough room

for the both of us! -Come on!

[ Grunting ]

[ Growling ]

Oiah! Hurh!

Y-You sure you're feeling well?

W-We can always take a raincheck.

Who, little old me?

Oh, I'm fine.

Come on, Uncle G. Stay cool!

We don't want to blow our cover.

You're right! Sorry, Pizza Steve.

Good afternoon, amigos.

Welcome to Juan Cuco's.

Have you decided what you want to eat,

or do you need a few more minutos?

Yes, I'm ready.

I'll have the burrito mole à la carte, please.

Very good, señor.

And for you, señorita?

Oh, let's see here.

I'll have, uh, one chicken taco.

Ooh! Ooh! Pizza Steve, get me a burrito, too.

What?! No way, man.

Come on! I'm starving!

Okay, okay, fine!

And also, one burrito.

Ooh! Ooh! Pizza Steve, get me a couple of enchiladas, too!

And two enchiladas.

A chile relleno,

[trilling] three mini tacos,

and that's it.

Thank you, señorita.

[ Grunting ]

[ Whimsical tune plays ]

So, Denise, tell me: when did you

fall in love with the game of chess?

Oh, yes. Chess.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, my favorite.

Uncle G, what do I do?!

I don't know. Just wing it.

Right. Improvise.

Okay, Pizza Steve, think.

Well, it all started when I was

a young girl in boarding school

and uh, this one time, I was like

playing this guy and I was like, "King me!"

And my horses trampled all over his castle.

You mean you took his rooks with your knight?

Ah, man, this is not good.

Uncle G, help me out!

Do some hand gestures or something.

Good thinking, Pizza Steve.

And, yeah, so, chess is like a huge part of my life.

I-I eventually joined the Chess Club.

Agh! Agh!

[gasps] Uncle G, you just spilled water

all over Mr. Gus!

Oops! It's okay. I'll take care of it.

Just follow my lead.

Sorry about that.

Let me get that for you.

So sorry, Mr. Gus.

I can be a bit of a klutz sometimes.

Oh, silly me!

Huh?

[ Snorting ]

[ Gasp! ]

[ Laughs ]

My bad.

So sorry about that.

I really need to get my prescription updated.

[laughs nervously] That's okay.

I-I-I-I-I'm overdue

for an update on my contacts, too, heh.

Señor, one burrito à la carte.

And for you, two enchiladas,

burritos, taco, and mini tacos.

If you need anything else, you let me know.

Gracias, amigos.

Thank you.

[Whimsical tune plays] [Sniffing deeply]

Oh, man! That smells delicious.

[ Gulping ]

[ Whimsical tune plays ]

[ Munching ]

So good!

Let me have some more.

Chill, Uncle G!

We don't want to look like slobs!

[ Thudding ]

Denise, what's going on?

Uncle G, will you stop?!

Gosh, fine!

Just let me make some conversation,

at least, before we eat again!

Gee, Mr. Gus, I just love the décor around here.

Oh, yes, you mean the mission-style interior.

Or you might say Spanish colonial revival.

Yes, exactly, Mr. Gus.

You're so smart.

This is so boring.

I should spice things up.

Ooh! How about some hot sauce?

Please, tell me more

about the Spanish revival style, Gus.

Well you see, the arches here and the exposed wooden rafters,

that would be considered mission revival.

Go on.

Well, personally, I wouldn't have gone with these windows.

I think they're a little tacky.

But then again, that might add to the charm.

Speaking of charm, you're so charming.

[Glass breaks] Please tell me more.

Ahhhhh.

[Munching] -Uncle G, what did you do?!

Oh, my! You sure were hungry.

You just downed that whole plate.

Yes, I guess you could say that.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Nice one, Uncle G.

Just when I had him going.

[ Munching, gulps ]

[Steaming] [Shuddering]

So hot! Ahhhhhhhh!

Pizza Steve! I need some wate-e-e-r!

[ Thudding ]

Denise, what's wrong?

Uncle G, no!

Don't do it!

[ Stammering ]

[ Thudding ]

[ Glass breaks ]

What are you --

No! No! Stop!

[ Crying out ]

[ Steaming ]

[Groaning] -[Gasps]

Wate-e-e-r!

[ Hissing ]

Hot plate, coming through.

Aah-aah-aah-ahhhhhhhhhhh!

[ Glass breaks ]

[Hissing] Ah...

[ Coughing ]

Your bill!, señor.

[ Groaning ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

Welp, it was nice meeting you.

I-I had an interesting time tonight.

Oh, yes. Me, too, Mr. Gus.

Pizza Steve, come on, you gotta put the moves on.

[ Squeaking ]

Uh, Denise, what are you doing?

Mr. Gus.

Wh-What's going on here?

Denise?!

Yes, I'm Denise.

Who's that?

Yeah, who is that?!

[Whimsical tune plays] Uncle G, he's on to us!

Huh?!

Wait a second.

I think I know exactly who that is.

Uncle Grandpa! Pizza Steve!

Hi, Mr. Gus.

How could you!

You guys ruined my first impression!

But -- but -- but, Pizza Steve and I

were just playing bacon ball when --

I don't wanna hear about your disgusting bacon ball!

Now you two get in that RV!

I don't wanna see or speak to you right now!

[muttering] Bacon ball...

So can someone tell me what is going on?!

Man, we might've blown Mr. Gus's

only shot at true love.

Maybe not.

I used the same chess-club app on Mr. Gus's phone

to get him at least a hundred newdates.

Just had to edit his profile photo a littlebit

to make him appear less boring.

Check it out!

[ Guitar riff ]

Great idea, Pizza Steve!

Ha-ha, yes!

Mr. Gus! You're not angry?

Nope! I just told Denise about the mixup

and she thought it was a riot!

Guess I owe you guys a big thanks,

'cause that first impression earned me a second date.

[ Doorbell rings ]

That's probably her right now.

Heyy, Denise.

Ready to go on that --

-Hi. -We're here for our date.

-Where's your motorcycle jacket? -Uh...huh...huh.

♪♪

♪♪

That was quite delicious.

♪♪