Original subtitles

Wow! Is that real gold?

Okay, where would you like me to stand?

Right here?

Uh, anywhere's fine.

All right, so, in this scene, I want you to, uh,

you know, I don't know, just -- just be happy or something.

And action!

Oh, okay -- happy.

I'm so happy.

Today is the best day ever!

Cut!

What's the matter? Why'd you say cut?

Look, this isn't working, all right?

I'm gonna be replacing you with Tommy.

Get in here, Tommy. [ Whistles ]

[ Panting ]

What? You're replacing me with a dog?!

I'm sorry, Grant, but you are a terrible actor.

You couldn't act your way out of a paper bag.

All right, quiet on the set!

Lets take it from the top.

And action!

[ Barking ]

Woe is me.

I guess I'll never be a great actor.

Aw, Grant, what's the matter?

Oh, hey, Uncle Grandpa.

Alas, I'm a terrible actor.

What? Who told you that?

My friend Timmy.

He kicked me out of his movie

and told me that I couldn't act my way out of a paper bag.

Hmm. Well, maybe you're not a bad actor.

Maybe this Timmy fella's just a bad director.

Really?

There's only one way to know for sure,

and that's to get you a great director.

Lucky for you, I happen to know the best in the world.

Wait. It's not Mr. Gus and Pizza Steve, is it?

Uh, no, of course not.

[ Chuckles ] One second.

Hey, guys.

Grant wants an actual director to be my sidekick today

so, uh, you go now.

[ Cellphone beeping ] Hello, famous director?

Would you please meet me in Grant's room?

Hey, Uncle Grandpa!

Wow, Robert Rodriguez?!

You are my hero!!

Hey, anything for you, Grant.

Don't know about him, though.

He still owes me $20 for a meatball sandwich.

Huh, that's funny. I don't have it on me right now.

But, Mr. Rodriguez,

how are you gonna get me to be a better actor?

By directing you in the three

most important types of cinema --

comedy, romance, and alien invasion.

Excuse me, sir. Can I get you anything?

Sure, kid. How about a couple of jelly doughnuts?

Yes, sir.

Make sure they're jelly!

All right, Grant, in this scene,

you're a "down on your luck" guy and money's tight

so you just had to take in a roommate

to help pay the bills.

Unfortunately, the only roommate you could find is Frank,

the wacky alien space clown.

[ Laughs ]

[ Blows raspberry ]

Now, the main thing to know about comedy acting

is to be honest with your performance.

Got it?

Okay, so you're gonna be working at your desk there.

Okay, and action!

Hey, Grant, whatcha doing?

Working? Huh? Stop it, Frank.

Stop it. You working?

Stop what, huh? [ Laughs ]

If you want to be a great actor, just be honest.

Be honest.

You listen here, Frank!

Ever since you moved in here,

you've been driving me up the --

Whoa!

Up the wall? [ Laughs ]

Why I oughta...

Wha! Oh! Ee! Ah! Oof!

[ Laughing ]

And cut! Great stuff, kid.

Wh-- Why thank you, Mr. Rodriguez.

Here you go, sir.

I said jelly. These are bear claws.

Sorry, sir. My mistake.

What a rookie.

I'm ready for my next scene, Mr. Rodriguez.

All right, so in this scene,

you're on the edge of town by the old abandoned mine shaft,

and this giant insect monster...

-[ Chattering ] -...is hot on your tracks

and has destroyed everything you hold dear.

Now, the main thing you need to know about monster movies

is that you have to go big.

Got it?

Robert: And action!

[ Roars ] Aah!

[ Timidly ] What are you doing?

S-- stop it!

Come on, Grant! It's already eaten the whole town,

and you're next if you don't do something!

And remember, just go big!

Go big. Okay.

[ Shrieks ]

You're really starting to bug me!

[ Shrieks ]

Ha!

Whoa!

And cut!

Great job, Grant.

And one more helpful acting tip --

always make sure the monster is actually dead.

Thanks, Mr. Rodriguez.

Here you go, sir.

[ Munching ]

There's not enough jelly in these jelly doughnuts.

Yeah, well, if you want perfect doughnuts,

then go get them yourself, buddy!

I like your spunk, kid.

You got guts.

Okay, so in this scene, the Great War has just ended

and you're at the docks with your one true love, Sofia.

[ Gulps ] Now, the main thing to know about romance movies

is that you have to be confident.

Robert: And action!

Grant, if I don't go back to France to marry the President,

he will stop at nothing until he has me.

He is a very dangerous man.

Um, I don't really know what to say, guys.

If she leaves, you'll never see her again!

Just be confident!

Be confident.

Okay.

[ French accent ] Stay with me, Sofia. Please!

Oh, Grant! Yes!

[ Sigh ] No. This isn't right.

You must go.

But why?

Shh. Go -- for the people of your country.

[ Sobbing ]

Mais chaque fois que tu regarde un coucher de soleil

souviens toi que c'est mon couer qui Brule pour toi.

[ Sobbing ]

Now go! Go!

And never look back!

[ Crying ]

[ Crying ]

And cut!

Beautifully acted, Grant.

Way to be confident.

Thanks for the help, Mr. Rodriguez.

And for showing me that with some great directing,

I too can be a great actor.

Well said, Grant, but you're not done just yet.

Cut!

Sorry, Grant, but I already told you

you can't be in my movie.

Um, Uncle Grandpa, what are we doing here?

This!

You got to act us out of this paper bag, Grant.

I want out of here!

Just remember what Robert Rodriguez told you!

Right. [ Screaming ]

Hey, what you doing? Working? [ Laughs ]

Okay, just be honest.

That's it, Franky!

You're driving me up the wall!

Whoa! Ah! Oh!

Oof!

[ Both laugh ]

So funny!

[ Shrieking ]

[ Screaming ]

Okay, go big!

Ya!

Hya!

[ Both screaming ]

Always make sure it's fully exterminated.

Always make sure it's dead!

[ Panting ]

[ Gulps ] Be confident.

Chaque fois que vous regardez le couche de soleil,

c'est mon qui Brule pour vous.

Ah, no, no, no! [ Crying ]

[ Both crying ]

I'm sorry I said you couldn't act, Grant.

You did great in there.

So much range!

Will you be back in my movie?

[ Inhales through teeth ]

I don't think I want to act anymore.

[ Both gasp ]

I was just acting!

Of course I want to be back in your movie.

Yay!

Nice.

♪♪

Welcome to "Inside the Director's Mind"

with me, Uncle Grandpa.

Today we're extremely lucky

to have the best director in the world,

and he's joining us here in the RV theater --

Robert Rodriguez.

Thanks for being here, Robert.

Happy to be here, Uncle Grandpa.

Robert Rodriguez, when I'm bored,

I sometimes look out the window of the RV.

Is that a movie?

In a way, yes. And in another way, no.

See, when I look out the window of your RV, it's a movie.

But not when you do.

Do you consider your movies to be "loud books"

or "music with people instead of notes"?

That's all false.

And you still owe me $20 for that meatball sandwich.

Tell me something --

Does it hurt when the actors get flattened on the screen?

Absolutely. It hurts them a lot.

The whole time we're shooting, they're in agony.

But they get paid very well, so don't feel bad for them.

Now, I usually watch movies in fast forward

because I think its funny when the people move fast.

My new movie can be watched at any speed.

Upside down?

When viewed upside down,

my movie is a nonstop thrill ride.

I've always wondered this --

who takes out all the bad words

for the TV versions of your movies?

We have a goblin who eats all the bad words.

We have to give him at least 100 bad words a week

or he'll destroy our peaceful filmmaking village.

[ Laughs ]

How about some audience questions?

You there with the body of a pizza,

and also the face of a pizza.

This is for Mr. Rodriguez.

Where can I get shoes like that?

These aren't shoes, actually.

I just smeared peanut butter over my feet.

Wow, got it.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

You! You, the dino-man. Yes, you.

Okay, so, I've directed a couple of films myself --

just little projects.

Eh, could I get one of those special pins

they give directors?

You already have one. Look in your shirt.

Well, I'll be!

That's amazing.

Well, this has been extremely helpful and informative,

but it's time to say goodbye.

Or in classic director speak,

cut!

♪♪

That was quite delicious.