Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]

>> O-O-O-O-OH, YEAH!

OKAY, GIRL, LET'S SEE THOSE

DUCK LIPS!

EEE!

OOH!

OOO!

PBHT!

GEH.

OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE

HERE.

MM, NO.

EYES CLOSED, GREAT!

NEXT!

OH. OH, NICE THUMB, JOSIE!

NEXT!

YES!

THE DUCK LIPS THAT LAUNCHED A

THOUSAND LIKES!

NOW TO UPLOAD IT TO FACEHOLE.

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON...

YES!

LIKE ME, LIKE ME, LIKE ME, LIKE

ME...

[ SIGHS ]

[ COUGHING ]

GROSS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNIN'!

>> UNCLE GRANDPA!

YOU HAVE GOT TO HELP ME!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WITH WHAT?

>> I NEED TO TAKE A REALLY GREAT

DUCK-LIPS SELFIE SO I CAN

FINALLY GET A LIKE ON FACEHOLE!

JUST LOOK AROUND YOU.

YOU SEE THESE POSTERS?

THESE ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL,

POPULAR PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ALL HAVE

IN COMMON?

>> Mr. Gus: UM...

>> I'LL TELL YOU!

IT'S THE LIPS -- SO PLUMP, SO

PERFECT.

DUCK LIPS ARE LIKE THIS!

YOU JUST SQUEEZE THEM TOGETHER.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

MY LIPS TOTALLY FAIL.

THEY'RE SO THIN THAT THEY'RE

PRACTICALLY TRANSPARENT.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

>> Uncle Grandpa: DUCK LIPS, EH?

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

>> Belly Bag: WAIT,

UNCLE GRANDPA!

ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHAT

YOU'RE DOING?

>> Uncle Grandpa: TUT TUT,

BELLY BAG!

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I BELIEVE I

MIGHT BE DOING!

>> Belly Bag: AAH!

>> Mr. Gus: [ SHRIEKS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: JOSIE?

SAY SOMETHING, JOSIE.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

>> I DID IT.

I GOT A "LIKE."

[ BEEPS ]

[ GASPS ]

O.M.G.!

I'M TOTALLY BLOWING UP!

I'VE GOT TO GET TO SCHOOL!

[ GIGGLES ]

♪ I GOT DUCK LIPS ♪

♪ I GOT DUCK LIPS ♪

>> Mr. Gus: IT'S 4:00 IN THE

MORNING.

>> NOW TIME FOR A DRAMATIC

ENTRANCE.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,

CELLPHONES RINGING ]

>> OH! THE POPULAR GIRLS!

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

HEY, GUYS, UM, I WAS WONDERING

IF YOU SAW MY DUCK LIPS ON

FACEHOLE.

IT GOT LIKE A TON OF LIKES.

>> WOW. 99 LIKES.

PRETTY GOOD.

BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

YOU NEED AT LEAST LIKE 100 IF

YOU WANT TO BE REALLY POPULAR,

LIKE US.

SO ANYWAY, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

OR WHATEVER.

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

>> UNCLE GRANDPA?

>> Uncle Grandpa: SO, HOW ARE

THOSE DUCK LIPS TREATING YA?

>> I ONLY HAVE 99 LIKES ON

FACEHOLE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: UH...

>> DON'T YOU GET IT?

I NEED LIKE 100 TO BE REALLY

POPULAR.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I HAVE NO IDEA

WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

>> UNCLE GRANDPA, I NEED YOU TO

MAKE MY DUCK LIPS BIGGER AND

BETTER SO I CAN GET TRIPLE-DIGIT

LIKES!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, OKAY!

LET ME JUST DO A LITTLE OF THIS

AND A LITTLE OF THAT.

>> AWESOME!

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOT BAD, IF I

DON'T SAY SO MYSELF.

>> LET ME TEST THE WATERS.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

O.M.G., O.M.G., O.M.G.!

AWESOME!

OH, MY GOSH! I DID IT!

I'M FINALLY POPULAR!

[ SCREAMS ]

THANKS, UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OF COURSE,

JOS--

[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ]

>> WELL, AS YOU ALL KNOW,

"THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY" WAS

YOUR REQUIRED READING FOR

HOMEWORK FOR THIS --

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

JOSIE, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!

>> DO YOU MIND, MR. TURNBUCKLE?

I'M TRYING TO TAKE A SELFIE

RIGHT NOW.

>> [ GASPS ]

DON'T YOU GIVE ME ANY LIP!

>> UM, THAT'S THE POINT.

>> ALL RIGHT, MISSY!

YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF TO THE

DOOR!

>> OKAY. WHATEVER YOU SAY,

MR. TURNBUCKLE.

>> YOU COME BACK WHEN YOU CAN

SHOW ME SOME RESPECT FOR MY

CLASS!

>> WHATEVER.

YOUR CLASS HAS LIKE ZERO LIKES

ON FACEHOLE.

WHO WOULD RESPECT THAT?

LET'S SEE WHAT MY LIKES ARE AT

NOW.

WHAT?

ONLY 3,000?

THAT'S SO WEAK SAUCE!

I'M GONNA NEED ANOTHER LIP JOB.

[ Singsong ] UNCLE GRANDPA...

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, JOSIE!

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN

19th-CENTURY LIT RIGHT NOW?

>> RIGHT.

WELL, MR. TURNBUCKLE KICKED ME

OUT OF CLASS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HE DID?!

BUT WHY?

>> HE KICKED ME OUT BECAUSE...

I GUESS HE JUST WASN'T A FAN OF

MY DUCK LIPS.

HE SAID THEY WEREN'T BIG ENOUGH.

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GASPS ]

I CAN'T BELIEVE TEACHERS THESE

DAYS.

>> YEAH, SO I WAS WONDERING IF

YOU CAN MAKE MY LIPS A LITTLE

BIT BIGGER SO I CAN GET BACK IN

CLASS.

I DON'T WANT TO FAIL.

[ WHIMPERS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: ANYTHING FOR

YOUR EDUCATION, JOSIE.

HERE GOES NOTHIN'.

[ WATER SPLASHES ]

>> O.M.G.!

O.M.G.! O.M.G.!

MY LIPS ARE AMAZING!

[ SQUEALS ]

WAIT TILL MY FANS SEE THESE

BABIES!

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ LAUGHS ]

WITH THOSE LIPS, YOU'RE GONNA BE

VALE-DUCK-TORIAN.

>> YEAH, UH, OKAY, BYE!

OH, LET'S TEST THESE BAD BOYS

OUT.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

OKAY, UPLOAD, UPLOAD!

WHOA!

I'M, LIKE, SERIOUSLY BLOWING UP

RIGHT NOW!

5.6 MILLION LIKES?!

AAAH!

I'M, LIKE, THE MOST POPULAR GIRL

IN THE WORLD!

WAIT TILL THE GIRLS HEAR ABOUT

THIS.

>> [ GASPS ] THAT'S HER.

THAT'S JOSIE FROM FACEHOLE!

>> HUH?

[ ALL SHOUTING ]

>> AHH. COFFEE.

>> [ GASPS ] PRINCIPAL HARRY!

>> HUH?

[ GRUMBLING ]

YOU! MY OFFICE!

NOW!

>> YEAH. ONE SEC.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

>> JOSIE, ACCORDING TO YOUR

FILE, YOU USED TO BE A TOP

STUDENT AND OVER-ACHIEVER WITH A

4.0 GPA.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!

WHY ARE YOU FLUSHING YOUR

EDUCATION DOWN THE TOILET?!

>> HUH? OH.

I'M, LIKE, SUPER-POPULAR ON

FACEHOLE NOW, AND I DON'T REALLY

NEED AN EDUCATION, OKAY?

>> YOU'RE WRONG!

AN EDUCATION IS VITAL IF YOU

WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE!

>> UM, I'M ALREADY SUCCESSFUL.

I HAVE LIKE TONS OF FANS, AND

THEY'RE ALL WAITING TO SEE ME

OUTSIDE.

I'M, LIKE, MEGA UBER

INTERNATIONALLY WELL-KNOWN.

>> [ GROANS ]

MM?

>> SO, YEAH, YOUR SCHOOL IS,

LIKE, DUMB OR WHATEVER, AND,

LIKE, OBSOL--

OBSOLL-- OBS--

OLD.

>> THAT DOES IT!

THAT IS THE LAST STRAW!

YOU ARE EXPELLED!

>> YEAH, WELL, READ MY LIPS.

>> WHA-- UH...

WHAT DO YOU --

UH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> MAN, THAT GUY HAS ISSUES.

WHATEVS!

THIS JUST MEANS I CAN HAVE MORE

TIME FOR MY FANS AND MAINTAINING

MY FACEHOLE REPUTATION.

SPEAKING OF FANS, I WONDER HOW

MANY I HAVE NOW.

WHOA!

3.5 BILLION?!

UH...

>> WE LOVE YOU, JOSIE!

>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

THANK YOU!

BUT, PLEASE, NO PHOTOGRAPHY!

I PREFER TO TAKE MY OWN.

AS YOU ALL KNOW, I'M JOSIE, THE

MOST POPULAR GIRL IN THE WORLD,

PRETTY MUCH.

I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU ALL

FOR THE LIKES AND STUFF ON MY

SELFIES.

I KNOW YOU WISH YOU COULD BE AS

COOL AS ME, BUT THAT IS NOT

GONNA HAPPEN, EVER.

SO IT'S PROBABLY A BETTER USE OF

YOUR TIME TO CONTINUE IDOLIZING

ME!

[ DUCK QUACKING ]

LIKE I WAS SAYING --

[ DUCKS QUACKING ]

GET OUT OF HERE!

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

[ DUCKS QUACKING ]

WHATEVER.

I-I'LL JUST FINISH MY SPEECH

LATER.

[ DUCKS QUACKING ]

AAH! HELP!

O.M.G.! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

HELP!

>> Belly Bag: UH, UNCLE GRANDPA,

DO YOU HEAR THAT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU MEAN MY

STOMACH GROWLING?

I HAVEN'T EATEN SINCE BREAKFAST.

I'M STARVING.

>> Belly Bag: NO, IT'S COMING

FROM OUTSIDE.

IT SOUNDS LIKE CHAOS AND

PANDEMONIUM!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM?

LET'S SEE.

[ DUCKS QUACKING, CROWD

SHOUTING ]

YEAH, SOUNDS PRETTY HORRIBLE.

NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.

WE'RE TRAPPED IN HERE, REMEMBER?

>> Belly Bag: UH, UNCLE GRANDPA,

YOUR OTHER ARM.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HUH?

OH, YEAH!

I'M FREE!

NOW LET'S SEE WHAT ALL THE FUSS

IS ABOUT.

WHOA!

WHERE DID ALL THESE DUCKS COME

FROM?

>> Belly Bag: I THINK IT'S

JOSIE'S DUCK LIPS.

THEY MUST BE MAKING THEM THINK

SHE'S AN ACTUAL DUCK!

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S RIDICULOUS, BELLY BAG.

>> UNCLE GRANDPA, HELP!

IT'S THESE DUCK LIPS!

THEY MUST MAKE THEM THINK I'M

AN ACTUAL DUCK!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GUESS YOU WERE

RIGHT.

HANG ON, JOSIE! I'M COMIN'!

>> AAH!

UNCLE GRANDPA, HURRY!

THANKS SO MUCH, UNCLE GRANDPA!

HURRY.

WE GOT TO GET SOMEWHERE SAFE SO

I CAN TAKE A SELFIE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: SOUNDS GOOD.

>> Belly Bag: DUCKS AT

12 O'CLOCK!

>> Uncle Grandpa: BELLY BAG,

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IT'S 2:00 P.M.

OH.

[ DUCKS QUACKING ]

UH-OH!

>> DO SOMETHING!

CAN'T YOU GO FASTER?!

THEY'RE, LIKE, ALMOST HERE AND

STUFF!

>> Uncle Grandpa: SORRY.

MY PROPELLER ONLY HAS ONE SPEED.

>> [ GRUNTING ]

IT'S A LIVING.

>> AAAAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, NO!

>> Belly Bag: SHE NEEDS TO STOP

MAKING THE DUCK LIPS SO THE

DUCKS WON'T THINK SHE'S A DUCK!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'RE

ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BELLY BAG.

JOSIE, YOU HAVE TO STOP MAKING

THE DUCK LIPS!

JUST SMILE NORMALLY!

>> I CAN'T DO THAT!

I'LL LOSE ALL MY FOLLOWERS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I THINK THAT'S

HAPPENING ALREADY!

[ KIDS SCREAMING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: DO IT, JOS!

>> OKAY...

[ GRUNTING ]

I CAN'T DO IT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: TRY HARDER,

DARN IT!

>> [ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH!

THAT'S IT!

>> [ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD!

NOW HOLD IT AND FLAUNT IT!

[ DUCKS QUACK ]

NOW SNAP A SELFIE TO REALLY GET

THE WORD OUT!

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

[ DUCKS QUACKING ]

>> All: AAAAH!

>> SEE THAT, GIRLS?

JOSIE GOT RID OF THOSE DUCKS BY

MAKING THAT HIDEOUS FACE.

PRETTY COOL.

[ TING! ]

SEE YA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: QUITE A DAY,

HUH?

>> [ SIGHS ] THAT'S FOR SURE,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: SO, ARE YOU

READY TO FACE LIFE WITHOUT

DUCK LIPS?

>> YOU KNOW, UNCLE GRANDPA, I

THINK I AM READY.

I SEE NOW THAT MY DREAM OF BEING

POPULAR ENDED UP TURNING MY LIFE

INTO A TOTAL NIGHTMARE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: MM-HMM.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH!

FAMILY TREE!