Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ MID-TEMPO SYNTHESIZER MUSIC

PLAYS]

>> SO, JIM, YOU CAN EITHER PICK

ONE OF THESE LOVELY LADIES, OR,

FOR THE 20th CONSECUTIVE

EPISODE, STICK WITH THE CACTUS.

WE'LL FIND OUT AFTER THE BREAK!

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ YAWNS ]

SLOUCHING ON THE COUCH!

[ STOMACH RUMBLES ]

UH-OH!

I GOT TO EAT!

BUT I GOT TO BE QUICK!

HYAH!

TO THE MICROWAVE!

HMM.

HMM.

BETTER GO WITH 15.

I CAN'T MISS THE END OF

"LOVE OR CACTUS."

DING-DONG!

GOOD MORNIN'!

[ CHOMP! ]

[ SHATTER! ]

A MESS LIKE THIS BELONGS IN THE

TRASH.

>> [ HACKING ]

UGH! THE STENCH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMPH!

AWW, YEAH!

[ ZIP! ]

[ TING! ]

[ RUMBLE! RUMBLE! ]

>> WE NOW RETURN TO

"LOVE OR CACTUS."

[ RUMBLE! RUMBLE! RUMBLE! ]

>> Mr. Gus: UH, UNCLE GRANDPA,

IT'S YOUR TURN TO TAKE OUT THE

TRASH.

>> Uncle Grandpa: DON'T WORRY,

MR. GUS.

I'LL DO IT AFTER JIM MAKES HIS

FINAL DECISION.

>> Mr. Gus: UH-HUH.

>> Pizza Steve: UH, EXCUSE ME.

WHERE'S YOUR HAT, BRO?

>> Mr. Gus: [ SIGHS ]

>> Pizza Steve: UGH.

YOU WOULD WEAR THAT.

>> SO, JIM, WHAT IS YOUR FINAL

DECI--

>> I'M GONNA STICK WITH CACTY!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHA-A-A-A-T?!

I KNEW IT.

[ RUMBLE! RUMBLE! RUMBLE! ]

UH-OH. TRASH.

WHOA!

WHA-AH-AH! OHH!

EW! IT'S GARBAGE!

>> Pizza Steve: AAAAAAAH!

>> Belly Bag: HELP US,

UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Pizza Steve: WE'RE BEING

PULLED UNDER!

>> Mr. Gus: I TOLD YOU TO TAKE

OUT THE TRA--

>> Pizza Steve: I'M TOO HANDSOME

TO DIE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: DON'T WORRY,

GUYS -- I'LL SAVE YOU!

GEESH!

HOW LONG WAS I-I-I-I-I-I-I OUT?

MR. GOOSE?!

PRETTY STEVE?!

WHERE THE DONG-DIDDLE DID

EVERYBUN GO?

ARE YOU MR. GOOSE?

>> [ VOMITS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HA HA!

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

[ POINK! CREAK! ]

SHHHHH!

DO YOU HEAR THAT, BILLY?

>> [ In distance ] HELP US,

UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: BOOGIE BOARD!

I'M COMIN' FOR YA, FRIENDS!

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ GASPS ]

WHOA! HOLY BANANAS!

A BANANA-PEEL MINEFIELD!

ONE FALSE STEP AND I COULD FALL

ON MY RUMP.

[ CRUNCH! ZIP! ]

GO-O-O-O-O-O-OFS!

PHEW!

[ ZIP! ]

[ WHIP! ZIP! ]

YAH-YAH-YAH!

UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH!

[ CRASH! ]

PBHT!

TECHNICALLY, I DIDN'T FALL ON MY

RUMP.

[ Italian accent ] UNKEE JAMPA,

1, BANANAS, A-ZERO!

OOF!

WHAT WAS I SAYING?

OH, YEAH!

BANANAS ARE ACTUALLY A TYPE OF

BERRY.

NOW TO SAVE MY FRI-I-I-ENDS!

[ WHIP! ]

YOU GET USED TO THIS LIFESTYLE.

[ WHIP! ]

HMM.

SOME KIND OF JUNK-MAIL

RAINFOREST, I GUESS.

I'LL JUST HAVE TO WALK THROUGH

IT, OF COURSE.

NOTHING OF INTEREST.

WHA?! HUH?!

[ GASPS ]

TOOTY-FIVE PERSMENT!

HOGIES!

WHAT A FIND!

OH-WHEE!

ONE-OF-A-KIND FIND.

OH, YES.

[ GASPS ]

OH, THAT LOOKS LIKE A BARGAIN.

[ CREAK! POP! ]

[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]

SO MANY DEALS!

AAAAH!

AAAAAH!

[ GRUNTING ]

[ POP! ]

[ KA-CHING! ]

MUST RESIST!

HAVE TO SAVE BUDDIES!

[ POP! KA-CHING! ]

GROOH!

GRAH GREE BIT GRABBY GORE!

HOOOOOOOOOOF! HOO! HAH!

[ CREAK! POP! ]

YA-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!

[ WHOOSH! ]

[ WHIP! POP! CREAK! ]

I'LL NEVER GROW OLD, AND I'LL

NEVER DIE.

[ ALL BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ Echoing ] PIZZA STARVE?!

DR. FEELGOOSE?!

HMM. NOBODY HERE, I GUESS.

[ SIZZLE! ]

OWW.

>> HEY, YOU! HEY!

>> HEY!

>> HEY!

>> YOU'RE UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF NERVE

COMING TO THE LAND OF LEFTOVERS!

>> Together: YOU DIDN'T WANT US!

GOBBLE, GOBBLE!

ONE OF US!

YOU DIDN'T WANT US!

YOU DIDN'T WA-- HEY!

>> HE'S GETTING AWAY!

LET'S GET HIM!

[ ALL SHOUTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: I THINK I'M

LOSING 'EM.

DOINK!

>> THERE HE IS!

>> HEY!

>> HEY! HEY!

>> LET'S COOK HIM AND EAT HIM!

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ CHUCKLES

NERVOUSLY ]

HOW'S ABOUT I, UH --

HOW ABOUT I EAT YOU ALL NOW?

>> HEY!

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> YEAH! YEAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GREAT!

WELL, THEN, LET'S GET COOKING.

HERE YOU GO, LITTLE LEFTOVER

PERSON.

>> YIPPEE!

>> YAY! HE DOES WANT TO EAT US!

>> HA HA! WE ARE FOOD!

>> LEFTOVER PARTY!

GUYS, WE'RE FINALLY GOIN' HOME!

[ ALL CHEER ]

[ BLAM! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM.

LET'S SEE HERE.

WHOOPSY!

[ WHISTLING OFF-KEY ]

[ ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ]

UHH! OOF!

UH-OH.

[ ZAP! ZAP! ]

[ CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK! ]

>> [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ MUNCHING ]

JUST LIKE MAMA GRANDPA USED TO

MAKE.

GOOD JOB!

>> [ ROARS ]

[ GRUNTING ]

[ VOMITS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: MY BUDDIES!

>> Pizza Steve: UGH!

UNCLE G, YOU GOT TO TAKE THE

TRASH OUT BEFORE IT TAKES US

OUT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I GOT AN IDEA!

[ DING! ]

>> I'M A LIGHT BULB!

>> [ GROWLS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: SO, UH, HEY,

TRASH MONSTER, SO, I WAS

THINKIN', I'D REALLY LIKE TO

TAKE YOU OUT...

>> [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: ...ON A DATE.

>> OOH!

[ GIGGLES ]

[ BOTH SLURPING ]

[ BICYCLE BELL DINGING ]

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

>> YEAH. SO, UH, THAT'S HOW MEN

AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT?

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: ♪ YAR LAR LAR

FAR LAR LAR LAR LAR LAR! ♪

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

>> [ LIPS SMACKING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOW!

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

AND THAT'S HOW YOU TAKE OUT THE

TRASH!

>> [ CRYING ]

>> OHH.

SUCH RAW BEAUTY.

>> [ CRYING CONTINUES ]

[ SLOOP! SLOOP! SLOOP! SLOOP! ]

>> [ GASPS ]

>> I CHOOSE LOVE!

>> [ GASPS ]

[ CREEEEEAK! TING! ]

AAAAAAH.

[ HEARTBEAT ]

[ ZIP! POP! ]

>> GRFT: [ FARTS ]

[ WHOOSH! ]

>> Mr. Gus: DOES HE SEE US?

>> Pizza Steve: I DON'T KNOW.

>> Uncle Grandpa: BOOOOOO!

BOOOOOOOOOOO!

[ RATTLE! RATTLE! RATTLE! ]

BOOOOOO! BOOOOOO!

>> Pizza Steve: NO, NO, NO!

>> Uncle Grandpa: BOOOOOOO!

GOOD MORNING!

UH, MY PERFECT WOMAN HAS TO BE A

NON-SNORER.

SHE HAS TO ENJOY THE COMPANY OF

BEES, AND SHE MUST BE IMMUNE TO

ALL TYPES OF POISON.

[ SLOOP! SLOOP! SLOOP! ]

IF WOMEN WERE CATS, I'D BE A

REAL LADIES' MAN.

[ CATS MEOWING ]

[ WHIP! ]

>> Mr. Gus: I AM SO ALONE!

NO. NO! PLEASE DON'T --

DON'T WIPE TO THE NEXT -- ARGH!

>> Pizza Steve: YO, LADIES.

IT'S PIZZA STEVE, OR, AS MY

FRIENDS CALL ME, "SUPER SLICE,"

"MR. TOP SLICE SUPREME,"

"KING THICKCRUST,"

"EL GRANDE SLICE-IO."

BUT YOU CAN JUST CALL ME

"THE COOLEST PEPPERONI-ENCRUSTED

DUDE YOU WILL EVER MEET."

>> Belly Bag: HI!

I LOVE LADIES!

AND I'M HAPPY TO SAY THAT,

GENERALLY, WITH THE POSSIBLE

EXCEPTION OF THE ONE LIVING IN

CLEVELAND, THAT LADIES LOVE ME!

AND WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE, REALLY?

I GOT EVERYTHING A LADY NEEDS,

LIKE DAY-OLD PRETZELS, SNAILS,

AND A GENTLY USED CAR BATTERY.

[ WHIP! ]

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

[ ROARS ]

[ ROARS ]

[ MEWS ]

[ SLOOP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: ARE YOU --

[ BURPING ]

DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?

>> PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION.

[ ZOOM! ]

[ CRASH! ]

[ WHIP! WHISTLE! ]

[ CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: UGH!

[ SHATTER! ]

UH-OH.

[ BOOM! ]