Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ MAMMOTH TRUMPETS ]

[ INSECTS CHIRPING ]

[ CAVEMEN SNORING ]

[ RUMBLING ]

[ ALL GASPING ]

>> HUH?

>> HUH? HUH?

>> All: ME HUNGEE!

>> [ SNIFFING ]

OOH!

[ CHOMP! ]

UNH! NO YUM-NUM!

[ FLY BUZZING ]

OH!

>> Both: HUH?

YUM-NUM!

>> All: [ GRUNTING ]

YUM-NUM!

[ RUMBLING ]

[ GRUNTING ]

[ FLY BUZZING ]

[ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM?

>> All: [ GRUNT ]

[ STRETCH! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GRUNTS ]

[ SNIFFS, GRUNTS ]

>> Together: [ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD...

MORNING!

GOOD MOR...NING!

[ GRUNTING ]

[ STRETCH! ]

[ SPROING! ]

OH! [ CHUCKLES ]

THAT FEELS MUCH BETTER.

GOOD MORNING, YOU HAPPY,

FRIENDLY CAVE FELLOWS, YOU.

>> Together: ME HUNGEE!

[ POP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: SO, YOU GUYS

ARE HUNGRY.

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

I'VE GOT JUST THE THING.

BELLY BONE, THREE OF YOUR FINEST

ROASTED GIANT WEASEL HAUNCHES,

PLEASE.

>> Belly Bag: YOU GOT IT,

UNCLE CAVEMAN.

BLAH!

>> Together: [ SLOBBERING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: TASTY STUFF.

MMM.

[ GULPS ]

AHH, I CAN'T HELP THE HUNGRY ON

AN EMPTY STOMACH, RIGHT, BOYS?

>> Together: [ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

EASY, GUYS.

I'M SURE BELLY BONE HAS MORE OF

THAT WEASEL HAUNCH.

>> Belly Bag: ACTUALLY,

UNCLE "C," I'M ALL OUT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: UH-OH!

DON'T WORRY, GUYS.

I'LL COOK UP A NICE BREAKFAST

FOR YOU.

HMM.

WHAT'S THIS?

AN EGG!

THE MOST PERFECT BREAKFASTY FOOD

OF ALL, AND IT'S RIGHT THERE ON

THAT BUSH.

[ STRAINING ]

HMM. JUST OUT OF REACH.

PBHT!

>> Uncle Grandpa #2: YEAH?

>> Uncle Grandpa: CAN YOU HAND

ME THAT EGG?

>> Uncle Grandpa #2: NO PROBLEM,

UNCLE CAVEMAN.

[ RUMBLING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THANKS,

GIANT UNCLE CAVEMAN.

NOW TO CRACK THIS AND SIZZLE UP

SOME BREAKFAST.

[ WATER SPLASHES ]

>> Mr. Gus: OKAY, WHAT JUST

HAPPENED?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'VE BEEN

BORN!

CONGRATULATIONS!

>> Mr. Gus: YAY.

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

I'M YOUR UNCLE CAVEMAN, AND YOUR

NAME IS BREAKFAST.

>> Mr. Gus: BREAKFAST?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH.

DON'T YOU SMELL ALL THOSE

FLAVORS?

[ SNIFFS ]

THAT'S THE SWEET SCENT OF YOUR

FLESH ROASTING UP THOSE FOR

HUNGRY GENTS.

>> Together: [ SLOBBERING ]

>> Mr. Gus: WHAT THE...?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOW WE'RE

COOKING.

JUST SIT TIGHT, BREAKFAST.

IT'S TIME TO FLIP YOU OVER.

>> Mr. Gus: OH, NO.

[ ZOOM! ]

>> Together: HUH?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: BREAKFAST,

COME BACK!

>> Mr. Gus: STOP CALLING ME

THAT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT BREAKFAST

SURE MAKES A FAST BREAK.

>> Together: [ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: UH, UH, OKAY,

GUYS, I'LL CATCH YOUR MEAL.

[ SMACK! ]

>> Belly Bag: AAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: PROMISE!

[ ZOOM! ]

[ PANTING ]

>> Mr. Gus: THESE SQUARE TIRES

DON'T MAKE FOR A VERY SMOOTH

RIDE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU KNOW, IT'S

A SHAME YOU'RE GONNA BE SAVAGELY

DEVOURED BY HUNGRY CAVEMEN

'CAUSE YOU'D MAKE A FANTASTIC

R.V. DRIVER.

>> Mr. Gus: WELL, PERHAPS I'D BE

ABLE TO DRIVE BETTER IF I COULD

ACTUALLY SEE THROUGH THE

WINDSHIELD!

>> Uncle Grandpa: PERHAPS.

>> Mr. Gus: UGH!

[ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WOW!

>> Mr. Gus: HUH?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU RUN PRETTY

FAST FOR A NEWBORN.

>> Mr. Gus: WHAT IS THAT THING?

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, THIS SWEET

PUPPY?

THIS IS MY GIANT REALISTIC

FLYING SABER-TOOTHED TIGER.

>> GRFT: [ GROWLS ]

>> Mr. Gus: WHY CHASE ME WHEN

YOU CAN JUST COOK THAT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHAT?

YOU CRAZY?

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND.

I ONLY HAVE ONE RULE THAT I LIVE

BY -- I DO NOT COOK MY FRIENDS.

>> Mr. Gus: WELL, THEN, WHY

DON'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?

>> Uncle Grandpa: FRIENDS WITH

FOOD?

[ LAUGHS ] THAT'S RICH!

THAT'S LIKE IF I MADE FRIENDS

WITH A SLICE OF PIZZA OR

SOMETHING.

>> HEY, MAN, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM

WITH GETTING EATEN?

IT'S THE CYCLE OF LIFE!

DEAL WITH IT!

>> Mr. Gus: [ GASPS ] AAH!

[ CHOMP! ]

>> UGH!

>> [ HISSES ]

>> Pizza Steve: CAMEO!

[ GRUNTS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU CAN SWIM,

TOO?

I'M IMPRESSED.

OOH, I CAUGHT A FAT, JUICY ONE!

[ CHOMP! ]

AAH!

>> Mr. Gus: AAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOW, STAY

RIGHT THERE.

I'M GONNA CATCH YOU NOW.

SORRY, BUT I GAVE MY WORD TO

THOSE CAVEMEN I JUST MET.

>> Mr. Gus: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM.

BREAKFAST, RIGHT HERE! LOOK!

HEY, WAIT!

WHERE THE HECK IS THAT GUY?

HEY, IT'S NOT PERSONAL.

IT'S JUST BUSINESS.

>> Mr. Gus: GET OUT OF MY HAIR,

WILL YOU?

[ GRUNTING ]

PHEW!

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ CLEARS

THROAT ]

GOING UP?

[ DING! ]

>> Mr. Gus: AAH!

[ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: BREAKFAST?

WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF US BEING ON

THE SAME FLIGHT?

>> I'M SORRY, SIR.

WE'RE ALL OUT OF PRETZELS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: AW, MAN.

EVERY TIME!

>> Mr. Gus: LISTEN, THERE'S

GOT TO BE SOMETHING ELSE YOU CAN

FEED THOSE DUMB CAVEMEN.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, YEAH?

LIKE WHAT?

>> Mr. Gus: WELL, I'M NOT QUITE

SURE, BUT IF YOU STOP CHASING

ME, I CAN HELP YOU THINK OF

SOMETHING.

>> Uncle Grandpa: REALLY?

YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME?

WOW, BREAKFAST.

YOU'RE REALLY A STAND-UP GUY.

I COULD JUST KISS YOU.

[ SMOOCHING ]

>> Mr. Gus: COME ON, NOW.

GET OFF ME.

STOP IT.

>> EW.

>> Both: [ GRUNT ]

AAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: UGH!

>> Mr. Gus: UGH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY,

BREAKFAST, GET UP, LAZYBONES.

>> Mr. Gus: HEY!

WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

>> Uncle Grandpa: DON'T LOOK AT

ME.

LOOK AT THOSE HUNGRY CAVEMEN.

>> Together: [ GRUNTING ]

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE CAVEMAN, DUCK!

[ WHOOSH! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

YOU REALLY HAD MY BACK THERE!

YOU'D MAKE A SUPER-TOUGH

BODYGUARD.

>> Mr. Gus: NOT IF THEY EAT ME

FIRST.

WE NEED TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT!

[ GRUNTS ]

THIS SHOULD DO.

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WOW.

I HAD NO IDEA DINOSAURS COULD

BREATH FIRE.

>> Mr. Gus: THIS DECOY SHOULD

BUY US SOME TIME IN ORDER TO

ESCAPE.

MEANWHILE, I'LL POSE AS A

CAVEMAN WHICH WILL DISTRACT

CUSTOMS LONG ENOUGH TO GET OUR

PASSPORTS.

THEN WE SKIP TOWN FOR SIX

MONTHS AND --

WHAT THE...?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: MMM, SO

DELICIOUS.

[ BURPS ]

I'M SORRY, BREAKFAST.

[ SPLAT! ]

I STILL HAVE SOME SMALLER

CHUNKS LEFT.

[ SLURP! ]

THINK YOU CAN MAKE ANOTHER DINO

DECOY?

>> Mr. Gus: GREAT!

NOW THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO TO

GET OUT OF THIS MESS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OR IS THERE?

>> Mr. Gus: WELL, IS THERE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: I DON'T KNOW.

I WAS ASKING YOU.

>> Mr. Gus: [ GROANS ]

ACTUALLY, THERE MIGHT STILL BE A

WAY OUT OF THIS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OR IS THERE?

>> Mr. Gus: YES!

>> Uncle Grandpa: COWABUNGA!

>> Both: UGH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

>> Together: [ GRUNTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: I KNOW I

PROMISED YOU A DELICIOUS

DINOSAUR EARLIER, BUT I GOT

YOU SOMETHING EVEN BETTER --

AND WHOLE LOT SWEETER.

[ POP! ]

[ ZIP! ]

I PRESENT DELICIOUS DINO

NUGGETS, A HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE

TO DINOSAUR MEAT.

AND TO ADD A LITTLE FLAVOR, YOU

CAN DIP IT IN SPECIAL TAR-TAR

SAUCE.

OKAY, HERE COMES THE BIG BAD

DINOSAUR!

GOOD, RIGHT?

>> [ MUNCHES, GULPS ]

MMM!

>> Together: [ GRUNTING

HAPPILY ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: DIG IN,

FELLAS.

>> Together: [ MUNCHING ]

>> Mr. Gus: YOU THINK THEY'LL

MIND THAT THERE'S NO NUTRITIONAL

VALUE IN THIS STUFF?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NAH.

THE MORE THEY EAT, THE LESS

THEY'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

WAIT -- THAT GIVES ME A GREAT

IDEA.

[ CAVEMEN GRUNTING ]

>> HOW MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER,

SIR?

>> TWO OF DINO NUGGETS.

>> HERE YOU GO.

>> [ GRUNTING, SLURPING ]

>> UGH.

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOW THAT WE'RE

FRIENDS FOR LIFE, I'M REALLY

GLAD YOU CONVINCED ME NOT TO

COOK YOU, BREAKFAST.

>> Mr. Gus: AH, AH, AH.

I TOLD YOU THAT'S NOT MY NAME.

CHECK THE NAME TAG.

>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS?

I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS YOUR

NAME, BUDDY.

>> Mr. Gus: THAT'S RIGHT.

ALWAYS HAS BEEN...

>> GOOD MORNING, BREAKFAST.

>> WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP

CALLING ME THAT?!

>> Mr. Gus: ...ALWAYS WILL BE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT'S A

RELIEF.

IT'S A LOT EASIER TO TAKE YOU

SERIOUSLY NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT

NAMED AFTER A MEAL, WHICH IS WHY

I'VE DECIDED TO LET YOU MAKE ALL

THE IMPORTANT DECISIONS AROUND

HERE.

>> Mr. Gus: THANKS,

UNCLE CAVEMAN.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS

THINKING WE SHOULD EXPAND OUR

MENU.

>> Uncle Grandpa: ALREADY MADE

THAT DECISION WITHOUT YOU,

MR. GUS, BY INSTALLING A SUPER

COOL SNOW-CONE MACHINE.

IT'S THE MOST POWERFUL ONE ON

THE MARKET.

[ SNAP! ]

OOPS.

>> Mr. Gus: WAIT!

[ ICE CRACKLING ]

[ WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH!

WHOOSH! WHOOSH! ]

>> All: GOOD MORNING!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, FELLAS.

IT'S THE WEIRDEST DAY OF THE

MONTH BECAUSE THE NEW ISSUE OF

"WEIRDMAN" IS OUT.

WHO'S GONNA GET WEIRD WITH ME,

HUH?

LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST YOU AND ME,

BELLY BAG.

[ WHOOSH! ]

>> Belly Bag: TIME TO GET WEIRD!

OUR STORY BEGINS WITH WEIRDMAN

ENJOYING A TYPICAL SUNNY SUNDAY.

>> HUP! HUP!

AHH!

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ WHOOSH! ]

THAT'S ENOUGH BASKETBALL FOR

TODAY.

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

WEIRDMAN SPEAKING.

[ MUFFLED SPEAKING ]

OH, MR. PRESIDENT!

[ MUFFLED SPEAKING ]

A GIANT ASTEROID HEADED STRAIGHT

FOR EARTH THAT WILL KILL

BILLIONS OF PEOPLE?

HMM.

I'LL NEED TWO OF YOUR FINEST

SPACE SHUTTLES AND SOME SUPER

GLUE.

NO TIME TO EXPLAIN.

[ MUFFLED SPEAKING ]

[ SQUIRT! WHOOSH! ]

ALL RIGHT, BOYS, I'M READY.

>> STAND BY FOR LIFT-OFF IN

FIVE, FOUR...

>> COME ON, WEIRDMAN.

AMERICA'S COUNTING ON YOU.

>> ...ONE, LIFT-OFF.

>> I'M GOING TO SPA-A-A-CE!

[ STRETCH! ]

[ GROANING ]

♪ OH, SAY, CAN YOU SEE ♪

HUMINA, HUMINA, HUMINA, HUMINA,

HUMINA, HUMINA.

♪ AAH ♪

>> GENERAL, ASTEROID APPROACHING

IN 60 SECONDS.

>> ♪ SHE'LL BE COMING AROUND THE

MOUNTAIN WHEN SHE COMES ♪

♪ SHE'LL BE COMING AROUND THE

MOUNTAIN ♪

♪ SHE'LL BE COMING AROUND THE

MOUNTAIN ♪

♪ SHE'LL BE -- ♪

AAH!

>> 10 SECONDS.

[ MONITOR BEEPS ]

[ DING! ]

[ CRACKLE! ]

[ ALL CHEERING ]

>> WOW, WEIRDMAN, AMERICA OWES

YOU A GREAT DEAL OF THANKS.

WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR

HEROIC DEED.

BUT I HAVE TO ASK YOU -- WHY DID

YOU STRETCH OUT YOUR LEGS WITH

TWO OF OUR FINEST SPACE

SHUTTLES?

>> Come here.

Because if I didn't, it wouldn't

have been...weird.

>> OH [CHUCKLES] RIGHT.

OF COURSE.

>> TO AMERICA, LAND OF THE FREE,

HOME OF THE WEIRD!

UNTIL NEXT TIME, BOYS!

[ WHEELBARROW RATTLING ]

>> Belly Bag: I GUESS YOU COULD

SAY THAT WEIRDMAN ALWAYS HAS A

"LEG UP" ON DANGER, RIGHT,

UNCLE GRANDPA?

UNCLE GRANDPA?

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ SNORES ]

WEIRDMAN, WEIRDMAN, WEIRDMAN.

[ SNORES ]