Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

>> Mr. Gus: [ YAWNS ]

[ GROANS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, MR. GUS,

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WAS GONNA

SHOP TILL I DROP?

>> Mr. Gus: YEAH.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I DROP.

>> Pizza Steve: YO, THAT

SHOPPING SPREE WAS RIGHT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP!

WE'RE ALL STOCKED UP.

>> Mr. Gus: FINALLY.

>> Pizza Steve: OKAY, GENTS.

LET'S HAUL OUT OF THIS MALL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: SOUNDS LIKE A

PLAN, PIZZA MAN.

>> Pizza Steve: AW, YEAH!

>> Mr. Gus: HANG ON, NOW.

WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL I

VISIT MY FAVORITE STORE --

THE WHITE MUSCLE TEE HUT.

>> Pizza Steve: PSH! LAME-O!

>> Mr. Gus: OH, COME ON, GUYS.

I'VE BEEN WAITING TO GO TO MY

STORE FOR HOURS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY, MR. GUS.

WE'LL MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS AT THE

FOUNTAIN IN 10 MINUTES.

>> Mr. Gus: HOT DOG!

THANKS, UNCLE G!

WHITE MUSCLE TEE SHIRT.

WHITE MUSCLE TEE SHIRT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT DINOSAUR

LOVES HIS WHITE MUSCLE TEE's.

>> Pizza Steve: TOO BAD HE

DOESN'T LOVE MAKING SMART

DECISIONS.

THAT GENIUS TOOK THE STAIRS WHEN

HE COULD HAVE TAKEN THIS

PERFECTLY CONVENIENT ESCALATOR

HERE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ LAUGHS ]

WHAT A SILLY DINOSAUR PERSON!

>> Pizza Steve: THIS IS

PRICELESS!

JUST LOOK AT HIM, NEEDLESSLY

USING HIS LEGS WHEN HE COULD BE

GLIDING DOWN THE ESCALATOR.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

I MEAN, LEAVE IT TO THE GUY

WHO'S OLD AS A FOSSIL TO NOT

REALIZE THAT THERE'S NEWER FORMS

OF TRANSPORT.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

[ BLINK! ]

[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]

>> Mr. Gus: NO.

[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: SHALL WE?

>> Pizza Steve: UNCLE G, LET'S

ESCALATE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THIS IS

LIVING.

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH!

SURE BEATS USING YOUR LEGS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU CAN SAY

THAT AGAIN, LITTLE SLICE.

[ METAL GRINDS, CLANKS ]

HUH?

WE STOPPED ESCALATORING!

>> Pizza Steve: THIS AIN'T

SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, BRO.

>> Uncle Grandpa: DON'T WORRY.

JUST GIVE IT A COUPLE OF

SECONDS.

OR MINUTES.

>> OH, WAIT! HOLD UP, HONEY!

THIS ESCALATOR IS NOT MOVING.

>> [ GASPS ] OH, MY GOODNESS!

THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE!

WAIT, HONEY. LOOK!

>> THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THAT

ESCALATOR!

>> OH, DEAR!

HOW ARE THEY EVER GOING TO GET

DOWN?!

>> I DON'T KNOW, HONEY!

THIS ESCALATOR IS

[Echoing] BROKEN!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HUH?

DID YOU HEAR THAT, PIZZA STEVE?

THE ESCALATOR IS BROKEN!

>> Pizza Steve: SAY WHAT?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I SAID THE

ESCALATOR IS [Echoing] BROKEN!

[ CROWD MURMURING ]

>> Mr. Gus: HMM.

HMM.

>> AH, YES.

PALE SNOWFLAKE -- GOOD CHOICE.

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN OUR LATEST?

I GIVE YOU NEUTRAL CREAM.

>> Mr. Gus: AW, YEAH!

I REALLY LIKE THE FLAT IVORY,

THOUGH.

>> LET ME GET YOU A FITTING

ROOM.

[ CROWD MURMURING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHAT ARE WE

GONNA DO, PIZZA STEVE?!

WE COULD BE STUCK HERE FOR

HOURS!

>> Pizza Steve: NO WAY!

WE GOT TO TAKE ACTION, UNCLE G!

BUT HOW?

HOW DO WE GET OFF AN ESCALATOR

THAT'S NOT MOVING?

[ GASPS ]

THERE! UNCLE G, LOOK!

EMERGENCY RESCUE GRAPPLING HOOK

STORE!

THAT PLACE HAS JUST WHAT WE NEED

TO ESCAPE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: MAYBE TO GET

DOWN THERE, WE GOT TO USE WHAT'S

IN HERE.

>> Pizza Steve: NOW YOU'RE

THINKING, UNCLE G!

WHAT YOU GOT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM.

LET ME SEE.

I GOT GIANT SUNGLASSES, A

FEATHER BOA, A CAT PUZZLE, A

MECHANICAL GRABBER CLAW [GRUNTS]

AND A CONCRETE HAND FROM THE

HAND STORE.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THIS WILL

COME IN HANDY.

>> Pizza Steve: I HAVE A "XARNA"

DVD, A DIAMOND-STUDDED GRILLE,

FRESH NEW KICKS, AND --

CHECK IT -- A REMOTE-CONTROL

HELICOPTER.

[ GASPS ] DUDE!

WE COULD USE THIS TO GET INTO

THE STORE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'RE A

BRAINIAC MANIAC, PIZZA STEVE.

NOW WE JUST PATCH IN THE

MECHANICAL GRABBER CLAW LIKE

SO...

[ CRUNCH! ]

[ WHIRRING ]

...AND WE'RE READY TO GO.

[ WHIRRING CONTINUES ]

>> Pizza Steve: COME ON,

UNCLE G.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

STEADY, UNCLE G.

DUDE! WE'RE IN!

[ WHIRRING CONTINUES ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: SLOW AND

STEADY WINS THE SPAGHETTI!

[ WHOOSH! TINK! ]

[ BOTH GASP ]

>> Pizza Steve: WATCH IT, BRO!

[ WHIRRING CONTINUES ]

>> Pizza Steve: THIS MAY BE OUR

ONLY CHANCE TO ESCAPE.

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY.

TIME TO BRING IT ON HOME TO

GRANDPA.

WE'RE IN POSITION.

NOW TO GRAB OUR TICKET OUT OF

HERE.

[ BEEP ]

>> Both: YES! WE GOT IT!

[ WHIRRING CONTINUES ]

[ WHIP! ]

>> Pizza Steve: HELP!

HELP WANTED!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HELP WANTED!

[ SIRENS WAIL, TIRES SCREECH ]

>> GOOD EVENING.

I'M JAW HAIRLINE WITH BREAKING

NEWS.

UNCLE GRANDPA IS STUCK ON A

SHOPPING-MALL ESCALATOR.

WE GO NOW LIVE TO NOSEY PANTSUIT

AT THE SCENE.

>> WELL, JAW, THIS SITUATION IS

STILL UNFOLDING.

WHAT WE KNOW RIGHT NOW IS THAT

THE ESCALATOR UNCLE GRANDPA IS

RIDING ON STOPPED HALFWAY DOWN.

I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT A RESCUE

TEAM IS HEADED THIS WAY.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I HOPE WE GET

THE HELP THAT WE WANT,

PIZZA STEVE.

>> Pizza Steve: WHAT'S THAT

SOUND, UNCLE G?

[ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: IT'S A RESCUE

HELICOPTER!

>> EVERYONE STAND BACK!

STAND BACK!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE'RE SAVED!

>> GIVE ME YOUR HAND!

>> Uncle Grandpa: ONE HAND

COMING UP.

>> Pizza Steve: WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> Uncle Grandpa: THEY WANT THE

BIG NOVELTY CEMENT HAND [GRUNTS]

THAT I PURCHASED AT

THE HAND STORE.

>> Pizza Steve: ARE YOU

SURE, BRO?

>> Uncle Grandpa: I'VE NEVER

BEEN MORE SURE OF ANYTHING IN MY

ENTIRE LIFE.

[ DING! ]

>> AAH!

[ WHIRL! WHIRL! WHIRL! ]

[ CRASH! BOOM! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: FLIPPIN' FROG

LEGS!

>> FLIPPIN' FROG LEGS -- THREE

SIMPLE WORDS WHICH HAVE

ELOQUENTLY JUST DEFINED WHAT

APPEARS TO BE THE WORST

SITUATION IN THE HISTORY OF THE

UNIVERSE.

>> Pizza Steve: [ SIGHS ]

WE COULD HAVE BEEN IN THE R.V.

RIGHT NOW, PLAYING WITH ALL THE

COOL STUFF WE BOUGHT, BUT YOU

HAD TO GO TAKE DOWN THE RESCUE

HELICOPTER.

>> Uncle Grandpa: IT WAS AN

ACCIDENT, PIZZA STEVE.

>> Pizza Steve: OH, YEAH?

[ GRUNTS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: OW, OW, OW!

WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?!

>> Pizza Steve: IT WAS AN

ACCIDENT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT'S IT!

I'M DIVIDING THE STEP!

[ GRUNTING ]

[ CREAK! POP! ]

[ SQUEAK! ]

UGH! THERE.

NOW YOU STAY ON YOUR SIDE, AND

I'LL STAY ON MY SIDE.

>> Both: HMPH!

>> GEEZ LOUISE.

FOLKS, IT IS NOT LOOKING GOOD

OUT THERE.

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

ARE YOU A DOCTOR?

>> WHY, YES.

>> UNCLE GRANDPA AND PIZZA STEVE

HAVE BEEN STUCK ON THIS

ESCALATOR FOR OVER FIVE MINUTES

NOW.

YOUR REACTION?

>> UH, IT'S NOT GOOD.

I'D SAY THEY CAN HANG IN THERE

FOR A COUPLE MORE MINUTES, BUT

IF AN AIRPLANE DOESN'T DROP THEM

SOME FOOD, AND SOON, THINGS ARE

GONNA START LOOKING GRIM.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I'M HUNGRY.

IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMETHING TO

EAT UP HERE.

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH.

[ SLURPS ]

[ CREAK! ]

WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER.

[ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY!

COOL IT, PIZZA STEVE!

>> Pizza Steve: HUH? COOL IT?

I AM COOLIN' IT. I'M COOL.

PIZZA STEVE'S CHEESE DOESN'T

MELT UNDER PRESSURE, BRO.

>> Uncle Grandpa: MELTED CHEESE?

[ SLURPS ]

>> Pizza Steve: UH...UNCLE G?

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA.

PIZZA STEVE.

PIZZA STEVE DINNERTIME.

DINNER PIZZA STEVE.

PANCAKES.

NYAH. NYAH.

HUH?

[ WHIP! WHIP! ]

PIZZA STEVE, LOOK!

[ WHISTLE! ]

[ WHOOSH! ]

OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY,

OH, BOY!

TWO CHEESEBURGERS!

ONE FOR YOU AND ONE FOR ME!

IT'S CHEESEBURGER TIME!

>> Pizza Steve: WHOA!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO. HANG ON A SEC, UNCLE G.

THESE MOUTHWATERING BURGERS

CLEARLY LANDED ON PIZZA STEVE'S

SIDE OF THE STEP!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WAIT. WHAT?!

>> Pizza Steve: HEY, DON'T LOOK

AT PIZZA STEVE.

PIZZA STEVE DIDN'T MAKE THE

RULES.

DIVIDING THE STEP WAS YOUR IDEA.

'MEMBER THAT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: BUT,

PIZZA STEVE --

>> Pizza Steve: ANYWAY, TALK

ABOUT LUCK.

AM I RIGHT, UNCLE G?

[ SNIFFS ]

MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MMM!

JUST LOOK AT THESE SCRUMPTIOUS

PUPPIES -- TOASTED SESAME-SEED

BUNS, EXTRA FANCY KETCHUP,

PICKLES -- OH, THE PICKLES --

PREMIUM FLAME-BROILED KOBE BEEF

PATTIES.

>> Uncle Grandpa: TASTY BURGERS.

>> Pizza Steve: OH, AND LOOKY

HERE!

LET'S NOT FORGET THE ONION!

WAIT, ONIONS?

OH, GROSS! BLECH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[ WHIP! SPLAT! ]

>> CHECK IT OUT, DUDE --

AIR BURGERS!

>> ALL RIGHT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE,

YOU JUST THREW AWAY OUR LAST

CHANCE AT SURVIVAL.

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NOW WE'RE GONNA...

[ Echoing ] STARVE TO DEATH!

[ BOTH MUNCHING ]

>> THIS SITUATION HAS JUST TAKEN

A TURN FOR THE WORSE, FOLKS.

WE'RE NOW RECEIVING LIVE

PICTURES FROM ALL CORNERS OF THE

GLOBE AND DISPLAYS OF

SOLIDARITY.

THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD STANDING

TOGETHER WITH HOPE THAT

UNCLE GRANDPA AND HIS CHEESY

LITTLE BUDDY WILL LIVE TO SEE

ANOTHER DAY.

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ SNIFFLES ]

IT'S ALL OVER.

>> Pizza Steve: [ GASPS ] OHH.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU KNOW WHAT

THE WORST PART OF THIS WHOLE

THING IS?

>> Pizza Steve: WHAT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: MY BEST BUDDY

IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD DOESN'T

LIKE ME ANYMORE!

[ CRYING ]

I LOVE YOU, PIZZA STEVE!

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH. I KNOW.

WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

PIZZA STEVE IS AN "A"-LIST

CELEBRITY.

HOW ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE

POSSIBLY GONNA FUNCTION IN THE

WORLD WITHOUT PIZZA STEVE?

[ SOBBING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THERE, THERE,

LITTLE BUDDY.

>> Mr. Gus: I HAVE COME TO A

DECISION -- BRIGHT PEARL.

YOU CAN RING ME UP, BUDDY.

"DUE TO TODAY'S TRAGIC EVENTS,

WHITE MUSCLE TEE HUT IS CLOSED"?

TRAGIC EVENTS?

HMM. HMM.

[ CROWD MURMURING ]

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT IN THE --

UNCLE GRANDPA, WHAT THE HECK

Y'ALL DOING UP THERE?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ Weakly ]

MR. GUS, IS THAT YOU?

>> Mr. Gus: YEAH.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO.

IT'S ALL OVER FOR US.

THE ESCALATOR STOPPED WORKING.

WE'RE GOING TO DIE UP HERE.

I'M SORRY, MR. GUS.

WE TRIED EVERYTHING.

[ PEOPLE CRYING ]

[ CREAK! ]

>> Mr. Gus: UH...DID YOU TRY

WALKING DOWN?

>> Uncle Grandpa: OHH.

[ SQUEAK! ]

[ BLINK! ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> GEEZ LOUISE!

LET'S GET A BLANKET ON YOU,

UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THANKS.

>> GEEZ LOUIS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS, BEING

STUCK ON THAT ESCALATOR WAS THE

MOST HARROWING EXPERIENCE OF MY

LIFE.

>> Mr. Gus: WELL, I'M GLAD I

COULD HELP.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES IN LIFE --

>> Pizza Steve: BOO-YAH!

PIZZA STEVE'S ALIVE!

>> FOLKS, TODAY THE SUN SHINES A

LITTLE BRIGHTER AND THE FLOWER

SMELL A LITTLE SWEETER.

UNCLE GRANDPA HAS SAFELY

DESCENDED THE ESCALATOR.