Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

>> Pizza Steve: OKAY, MR. GUS, I

HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THE

REAL-ESTATE-OPOLY TRADE OF THE

CENTURY, 'CAUSE I WANT TO TRADE

Y-O-O-O-O-OU...

THE LIGHT BULB COMPANY FOR...

DOWNTOWN BURBANK.

>> Mr. Gus: WHAT?

NO WAY!

DOWNTOWN BURBANK IS HEAVEN ON

EARTH!

LITTLE CHEESE, YOU CRAZY.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

WHOA! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!

HOT VIDEO!

HOT VIDEO COMING THROUGH!

HOT VIDEO!

>> Mr. Gus: OKAY. MY TURN.

>> Pizza Steve: OW!

>> Uncle Grandpa: H-O-O-O-O-OT

VIDE-O-O-O-O-O-O!

YOU GUYS, I JUST MADE THE

GREATEST VIDEO OF ALL TIME.

>> Mr. Gus: OH, YEAH?

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

>> Pizza Steve: WHO CARES?!

JUST GET THAT THING ON THE

INTERNET, STAT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD CALL,

PIZZA STEVE.

TO THE COMPUTER!

YUH!

YEH!

[ GRUNTING ]

A-A-A-A-AND...

UPLOAD.

IT'S GO TIME.

♪ I'M WALKING ON HOT DOGS ♪

♪ I'M WALKING ON HOT DOGS ♪

♪ I'M WALKING ON HOT DOGS ♪

♪ I'M WALKING ON HOT DOGS ♪

I HOPE THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD

CAN HANDLE HOW AWESOME MY VIDEO

IS.

>> Pizza Steve: CHECK THE

COMMENTS, UNCLE G.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY.

UNH!

HERE WE GO -- FOUR COMMENTS.

"PRETTY COOL."

"AWESOME."

"NICE."

"WORST VIDEO EVER."

"WORST VIDEO EVER"?!

THAT COMMENT HURT.

[ SOBBING ]

>> Mr. Gus: I WOULDN'T GET TOO

WORKED UP ABOUT IT,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

IT'S JUST ONE NEGATIVE COMMENT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WELL, MAYBE

YOU'RE RIGHT.

[ BEEPS ]

>> THREE NEW COMMENTS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GASPS ]

ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA FORGET

ABOUT THAT ONE BAD COMMENT BY

FOCUSING ON THESE THREE NEW

COMMENTS.

"LAME TOWN U.S.A."?

"UNCLE GRANDPA JUST RUINED THE

INTERNET"?

"WALKING ON HOT DOGS IS

STUPID"?!

IT'S THAT SAME GUY AGAIN!

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

CHEESEPUFF MIKE.

WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?

>> Mr. Gus: HE PROBABLY THINKS

HE'S THE GREATEST THING SINCE

SLICED BREAD, BUT, ALAS, HE'S

JUST A TROLL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: A TROLL, HUH?

WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE SOLUTION

FOR THAT -- DESTROY ALL THE

BRIDGES IN THE WORLD.

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, I'M

NOT TALKING ABOUT THE KIND OF

TROLL WHO LIVES UNDER BRIDGES.

I'M TALKING ABOUT AN INTERNET

TROLL.

YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WHO TRIES TO

UPSET PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET BY

POSTING MEAN COMMENTS AND

WHATNOT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WELL, ANY WAY

YOU SLICE IT, WE GOT A TROLL

PROBLEM.

[ GRUNTS ]

WE'RE GOING TO SOLVE THAT TROLL

PROBLEM RIGHT NOW.

>> Pizza Steve: WHAT THE HECK

ARE YOU DOING UNCLE G?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I'M GOING

INSIDE THE INTERNET.

>> Pizza Steve: BUT THAT'S...

IMPOSSIBLE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: AHA!

UNH!

HYAH! YAH!

OO-YAH!

MR. GUS, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!

>> Mr. Gus: I AM?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'RE GONNA

HELP ME TRACK DOWN THAT INTERNET

TROLL.

HERE -- PUT THESE ON.

>> Mr. Gus: RUBBER KITCHEN

GLOVES AND A COWBOY HAT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO, NO, NO,

NO, NO.

TROLL HANDLING GLOVES AND AN

INTERNET SAFETY HELMET.

COME ON. LET'S GO.

>> Pizza Steve: PIZZA STEVE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: ALL RIGHT,

WE'RE INSIDE THE INTERNET!

NOW TO TRACK DOWN THAT INTERNET

TROLL AND DEMAND AN APOLOGY!

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, WE

AIN'T EVER GONNA FIND THAT TROLL

IN A PLACE THIS CRAZY AND

COMPLICATED.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WATCH AND

LEARN.

[ CAT MEOWS ]

>> Mr. Gus: WHAT YOU DOING,

UNCLE GRANDPA?

>> Uncle Grandpa: CHEESEPUFF

DUST, MR. GUS.

>> Mr. Gus: SAY WHAT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: CHEESEPUFF

DUST!

DON'T YOU SEE?

IF WE FOLLOW THIS CHEESE DUST

TRAIL, IT'LL LEAD US RIGHT TO

CHEESEPUFF MIKE, A.K.A. THE

TROLL.

>> Mr. Gus: WHATEVER YOU SAY,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: COME ON!

[ CAT MEOWS ]

[ MOANING ]

WAIT. HOLD UP.

>> Mr. Gus: WHAT'S WRONG?

>> Uncle Grandpa: TIME FOR A

SQUISHY-BEAR BREAK.

AHH.

>> Mr. Gus: [ SIGHS ]

UNCLE GRANDPA, NO OFFENSE, BUT

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE

HECK YOU'RE DOING?

>> Uncle Grandpa: PATIENCE,

MR. GUS.

TROLL TRACKING IS A PRECISE

SCIENCE.

>> Mr. Gus: SO, WHAT NOW?

JUST KEEP ON WALKING IN CIRCLES?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NAH. MY LEGS

ARE GETTING TIRED.

LET'S TAKE THIS CYBER CYCLE.

DANG.

THIS IS ONE SMOOTH RIDE.

>> Mr. Gus: HEY, HEY!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, LET'S SEE

HOW THIS BABY HANDLES WHEELIES.

>> Mr. Gus: I DON'T THINK THAT'S

SUCH A GOOD ID--

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH!

>> Mr. Gus: WHOA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHEELIES!

WHEELIES! WHEELIES!

[ SCREECHING ]

PRETTY AWESOME, HUH, MR. GUS?

>> Mr. Gus: WHERE AM I?

>> Uncle Grandpa: THE WORLD WIDE

WEB.

[ SCREECHES ]

>> Mr. Gus: AAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, MR. GUS,

NO TIME FOR NAPS!

WE'RE AT THE END OF THE

CHEESEPUFF DUST TRAIL.

>> Mr. Gus: YOU SAID THIS

CHEESE TRAIL WOULD LEAD US TO A

TROLL, BUT I DON'T SEE A TROLL.

ALL I SEE IS A WALL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THE TROLL'S

BEHIND THIS WALL.

WE'RE GONNA NEED SHEER BRUTE

STRENGTH TO BREAK THROUGH THIS

THING.

AND THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN.

ON THE COUNT OF THREE.

1, 2, 3!

>> Mr. Gus: UNH! UNH! UNH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THIS ISN'T

WORKING.

BELLY BAG, I'M GONNA NEED MY

LASER HAMMER.

>> Belly Bag: YOU GOT IT,

UNCLE GRANDPA!

BLUGH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THANK YOU.

HEY, MR. GUS, I SAID NO NAPS!

LET'S GO!

>> Mr. Gus: [ GROANING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THERE IT IS.

>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THE INTERNET

TROLL.

>> NO!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE

ANOTHER COMMENT ON YOUR VIDEO

PAGE.

"UNCLE GRANDPA...IS A

SIMPLETON."

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY!

YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE FOR ALL THE

MEAN COMMENTS!

>> NO!

HOW'S THIS FOR AN APOLOGY?

"UNCLE GRANDPA'S MUSTACHE IS A

STUPID!"

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU WISH YOU

COULD GROW A MUSTACHE LIKE THIS.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

[ KNUCKLES CRACK ]

"UNCLE GRANDPA IS --"

>> Uncle Grandpa: GONNA DESTROY

THAT TROLL!

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, ARE

YOU NUTS?!

HE'S JUST A KID!

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO, HE'S A

DIRTY LITTLE TROLL!

LET GO, MR. GUS!

>> [ LAUGHING ]

>> Mr. Gus: DANG IT,

UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: LET GO!

>> WHOA! UNH!

>> Mr. Gus: AAH!

>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GRUNTS ]

IT'S TROLL-TOAST TIME.

[ ENERGY WHINES ]

UH-OH.

THE BATTERIES ARE DEAD!

>> [ ROARING ]

[ BOTH SCREAM ]

>> RAAR!

[ LAUGHS ]

HYAH!

[ SIGHS ]

WE'RE HEADED STRAIGHT FOR AN OAK

TREE.

AND THAT TROLL'S GONNA KILL US!

UNLESS WE CAN DESTROY HIM FIRST.

>> Mr. Gus: HOW?

BY EXPOSING HIM TO SUNLIGHT AND

TURNING HIM INTO STONE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS, THIS

IS AN INTERNET TROLL.

WE EXPOSE HIM TO THE INTERNET

AND TURN HIM TO STONE.

DUH.

BELLY BAG, IT'S TIME TO LAY DOWN

SOME HOT DOGS.

>> Belly Bag: GOT IT!

ALL RIGHT, IT'S GO TIME.

>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

>> Mr. Gus: AND THE HOT DOGS ON

THE GROUND ARE SUPPOSED TO DO

WHAT, EXACTLY?

>> Uncle Grandpa: THEY CAME

INTERNET FAMOUS.

>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

ANY LAST WORDS, UNCLE GRANDPA?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH. YOU JUST

WALKED ON HOT DOGS.

>> WHAT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE GOT TO GET

THIS ON THE INTERNET, FAST!

>> OH, NO, YOU DON'T!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YIKES!

ALL RIGHT, MR. GUS, SPLIT UP!

>> HUH?

>> Uncle Grandpa: BELLY BAG, I

GOT A BOGEY ON MY TAIL.

>> Belly Bag: WELL, THAT'S

NOTHING A FEW OF BELLY BAG'S

FAMOUS KNUCKLE SANDWICHES CAN'T

FIX.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, MAN, GREAT

IDEA!

>> Belly Bag: OPEN WIDE!

>> HUH?

OHH!

AAAAAAAH!

>> Belly Bag: ALL RIGHT!

THAT TROLL JUST GOT --

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH. HEY,

WHERE ARE THE SANDWICHES?

>> Belly Bag: UH, WHAT? HUH?

>> Uncle Grandpa: THE KNUCKLE

SANDWICHES.

I'M REALLY HUNGRY.

>> Belly Bag: "KNUCKLE

SANDWICHES" IS JUST A FIGURE OF

SPEECH, UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH! WELL, UH,

YOU GOT ANY PEANUT-BUTTER AND

JELLY IN THERE?

>> Belly Bag: HERE YOU GO!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THANKS.

MMM!

THAT'S A GOOD SANDWICH.

>> AAH!

WHOA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH!

MR. GUS!

[ TING! ]

[ GRUNTING ]

AND UPLOAD!

>> [ PANTING ]

NO!

"HOTDOG WALK 2"?!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

N-O-O-O-O-O!

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, IT'S

HAPPENING.

NOW LET'S CHECK OUT THE COMMENTS

SECTION, SHALL WE?

"UNCLE GRANDPA DID THIS

ALREADY."

WELL, HE'S GOT THAT RIGHT.

>> HUH?

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THERE'S A

FROWNY-FACE EMOTICON, TOO.

HMM. LET'S READ ANOTHER ONE.

"TROLLS ARE GROSS."

>> Mr. Gus: HMM.

>> NO!

NO, NO, NO!

>> Uncle Grandpa: "INFINITE

FROWNY FACES," FOLLOWED BY THREE

FROWNY-FACE EMOTICONS.

>> NO!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, KIDS,

DON'T BE A JERK ON THE INTERNET

OR YOU MIGHT END UP LIKE OUR

FRIEND HERE.

[ SMOOCHES ] PEACE OUT.

>> "NEW EXPERIENCES," WITH

BEARY NICE...

>> THAT'S ME!

>> ...AND HOT DOG PERSON.

>> THAT'S ME.

>> WE'RE ABOUT TO GET OUR VERY

FIRST HAIRCUTS, AND, BOY, DO I

NEED ONE.

JUST LOOK AT THIS RAT'S NEST.

>> BUT, BEARY, I DON'T HAVE ANY

HAIR, ONLY HOT-DOG SKIN.

>> HMM.

DON'T WORRY.

YOU WON'T FEEL A THING.

>> OKAY.

I BELIEVE YOU.

>> GOODBYE, OUTSIDE!

ME FIRST!

JUST A LITTLE OFF THE TOP.

AND I'M KEEPING THE SIDEBURNS.

[ MOTOR WHIRRING ]

[ TING! ]

[ MOTOR WHIRS ]

WOW!

I LOOK LIKE A MOVIE STAR.

YOUR TURN, HOT DOG PERSON.

>> BUT -- BUT -- BUT --

>> DON'T WORRY.

YOU WON'T FEEL A THING.

>> OKAY. I --

AAAAAAAH!

AAH! AAH!

OW!

[ WHIMPERING ]

>> HMM.

TOO WAVY.

>> AAAAAAH!

>> TOO NOT WAVY.

>> AAAAAH! AAH!

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

TOO NUMBER 2.

>> AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

OHH!

[ WHIRRING STOPS ]

>> PERFECT!

[ MOTOR WHIRS ]

[ BELL JINGLES ]

SO, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF YOUR

FIRST HAIRCUT, HOT DOG PERSON?

>> I GUESS YOU WERE RIGHT,

BEARY.

I REALLY DON'T FEEL A THING.