Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

>> Narrator: IT WAS THE NUTTIEST

MATCH EVER.

ALL BECAUSE OF THESE TWO NUTS.

AND THESENUTS.

>> I'M TELLING YOU, THAT MATCH

WAS NUTS.

>> Narrator: YES. YES, IT WAS.

>> Mr. Gus: SOME PEOPLE WONDER

IF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING IS

REAL.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THIS --

WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT IS AS

REAL AS THIS TALKING DINOSAUR.

>> Narrator: IT ALL BEGAN AS A

SIMPLE GRUDGE MATCH BETWEEN

CHICKEN MAN AND THE BEST.

IN THE LONG HISTORY OF THIS

SPORT, PERHAPS NO ONE HAS

RUFFLED AS MANY FEATHERS AS

CHICKEN MAN.

>> Chicken Man: [ CLUCKING ]

BAWK!

>> AAH! [ GRUNTS ]

>> Chicken Man: [ CLUCKING ]

>> OHHH!

>> Narrator: HE BEGAN HIS CAREER

THE SAME WAY MOST WRESTLERS DO.

>> Chicken Man: I WANT TO BE A

WRESTLER.

>> WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY OR

SOMETHING?

>> Chicken Man: YEAH.

>> YOU'RE HIRED!

YOU SEE, YOU HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO

BE A WRESTLER.

>> Narrator: BUT HIS ILLUSTRIOUS

CAREER WOULD ALL COME TO AN END

THE NIGHT OF THE NUTTIEST MATCH

EVER.

A LOT OF WRESTLERS ARE PRIDEFUL.

SOME ARE OVERCONFIDENT.

>> [ French accent ] I AM NOT

AFRAID OF YOU.

[ WHACK! ]

>> Narrator: OR JUST PLAIN IN

LOVE WITH THEMSELVES.

>> I LOVE YOU.

>> I LOVE YOU MORE.

>> Narrator: BUT ONLY ONE IN THE

HISTORY OF THIS SPORT WAS

PRESUMPTUOUS ENOUGH TO CALL

HIMSELF THE BEST.

>> The Best: I'LL HAVE 10 ORDERS

OF YOUR VERY BESTBOLOGNA

POCKETS.

NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR

THE BEST, 'CAUSE I'M THE BEST.

CHICKEN MAN vs. THE BEST?

WAIT -- IS THAT THE MATCH THAT

ENDED MY LEGENDARY CAREER IN

PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING?

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO ASK

MYSTERIOUS GUS ABOUT THAT ONE!

>> Mr. Gus: ALL MY LIFE, I

DREAMED OF BEING A PROFESSIONAL

WRESTLER.

>> Narrator: HE CRAWLED FROM THE

SWAMPS OF PARTS UNKNOWN.

>> Mr. Gus: WHASSUP?

>> Narrator: A CREATURE OF

UNKNOWN DESTINY.

FOR A MILLION YEARS, HE TRAINED

AND PERFECTED HIS SCALY BODY SO

THAT ONE DAY, HE MIGHT FIND A

CAREER IN PROFESSIONAL

WRESTLING.

>> Mr. Gus: NUTS.

GET YOUR FRESH ROASTED NUTS.

>> Narrator: THE MATCH HAD A LOT

OF BUZZ LEADING UP TO IT.

[ CELLPHONE BUZZES ]

>> The Best: NOTHING BUT THE

BEST FOR THE BEST, 'CAUSE I'M

THE BEST.

THE BEST SPEAKING.

>> CHICKEN MAN: [ Clucking ]

>> The Best: OH, HEY.

HOW'S IT GOING, CHICKEN MAN?

>> Chicken Man: NOBODY -- I SAID

NOBODY -- CALLS ME CHICKEN, MAN!

[ CLUCKING ]

>> The Best: BUT THAT'S YOUR

NAME.

YOUR NAME IS THE CHICKEN MAN.

>> Chicken Man: GOOD POINT.

>> IT WASN'T A VERY GOOD STORY

LINE.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Chicken Man: I DON'T KNOW,

LET ME ASK THE BEST.

GIANT REALISTIC INTERVIEWING

TIGER WANTS TO KNOW IF WE'RE

STILL GONNA FIGHT EACH OTHER.

>> The Best: [ SIGHS ]

I GUESS.

>> Narrator: AND WHAT WOULD

BECOME THE NUTTIEST MATCH EVER

BEGAN LIKE ANY OTHER.

[ BELL DINGS ]

>> Chicken Man: CHICKEN MAN!

[ CLUCKING ]

>> The Best: TO BE THE BEST, YOU

GOT TO BEATTHE BEST, AND THAT'S

ME!

I'M THE BEST!

WHOO!

>> BUT THE BEST WASN'T A VERY

GOOD WRESTLER.

>> The Best: WH-O-O-O-OA! AAH!

STOP IT!

[ GRUNTS ]

UNH! WHAAAAAA!

WOULD YOU GET OFF ME?!

OKAY, MR. FLAIR.

IF I'M SUCH A LOSER, THEN WHY DO

I LIVE IN THAT AWESOME MANSION?

OR SWIM IN THAT RADICAL POOL?

OR PET THIS GOLDEN COBRA STATUE?

NO! PLEASE!

>> CHICKEN MAN READIES HIS

DEVASTATING TICKLE TORTURE

MOVE!

>> The Best: AAAAAAAH!

[ LAUGHING ]

>> Narrator: CHICKEN MAN WAS AT

THE TOP OF HIS GAME.

AND THE FANS WERE EATING IT UP.

>> Chicken Man: [ CAWS ]

>> AN EGG DROP BY THE

CHICKEN MAN!

OFF THE TOP ROPE --

THE VERY TOP ROPE!

THIS IS INCREDIBLE, FOLKS!

>> The Best: UH, HOW ABOUT A

TIMEOUT OR SOMETHING?

>> Chicken Man: [ CLUCKING ]

>> The Best: I'LL TAKE THAT AS A

NO.

[ SPLAT! ]

>> Mr. Gus: EVERYONE THOUGHT IT

WAS OVER FOR THE BEST.

BUT THAT NIGHT WAS ANYTHING BUT

PREDICTABLE.

>> THE BEST IS LOOKING MORE LIKE

THE WORST, FOLKS!

>> Mr. Gus: NUTS.

GET YOUR FRESH ROASTED NUTS.

>> The Best: THE BEST JUST GOT

THE BEST IDEA EVER!

>> Chicken Man: [ CLUCKING ]

>> Turnbuckle Bag: HEY!

THAT'S REALLY ANNOYING!

>> Chicken Man: SORRY,

TURNBUCKLE BAG.

>> Turnbuckle Bags: THAT'S OKAY,

CHICKEN MAN.

THAT'S WHEN THINGS STARTED TO

GET WEIRD.

>> Mr. Gus: GET YOUR FRESH

ROASTED --

>> The Best: OH, GARçON.

THE BEST REQUIRES SOME OF YOUR

VERY BESTROASTED NUTS.

NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR

THE BEST, 'CAUSE I'M THE BEST!

>> Mr. Gus: FRESH ROASTED NUTS

ARE FOR WRESTLING FANS ONLY.

>> The Best: AND JERKY ATTITUDES

ARE FOR PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS

ONLY.

>> Mr. Gus: LISTEN HERE,

PEPPERONI FACE.

IF I HAD THE CHANCE, I COULD

OUT-WRESTLE ANYOF YOU.

>> The Best: WOWWWWW!

>> Mr. Gus: HEY, YOU TOOK ALL OF

MY --

>> The Best: WOW!

>> Mr. Gus: ...NUTS.

>> Chicken Man: WHERE'D THE BEST

GO?

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HITTING HIM

WITH THIS CHAIR RIGHT NOW.

>> The Best: OKAY, HERE'S THE

DEAL.

YOU STOP WINNING SO MUCH...

[ CRUNCH! ]

...AND I'LL LET YOU EAT SOME OF

MY FRESH ROASTED NUTS!

GENIUS.

>> HEY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAR?

>> The Best: UH...

>> AND WITH MY HAIR?

>> Narrator: IT WAS THE BEST'S

BEST MOVE, BRIBING HIS OPPONENT

INTO SUBMISSION.

BUT WOULD CHICKEN MAN FALL FOR

THIS TRICKERY?

>> Chicken Man: NO WAY!

[ GRUNTS ]

...AM I GONNA PASS UP THAT SWEET

DEAL!

>> The Best: YESSSSSS!

>> Narrator: THAT'S WHEN THINGS

TOOK A TURN.

>> HEY, FRESH ROASTED NUTS GUY

WHO WISHES HE WAS A PRO

WRESTLER, GIMME SOME NUTS!

>> Mr. Gus: I'M SORRY, BUT I --

>> YOU BETTER NOT TELL ME THAT

YOU'RE OUT OF NUTS!

>> Mr. Gus: UH...ONE SECOND.

UH, GUYS, IF YOU TWO DON'T STOP

EATING THOSE NUTS, THOSE

WRESTLING FANS ARE LIABLE TO GET

UGLY.

[ SPECTATORS SHOUTING ANGRILY ]

"UGLIER."

>> Chicken Man: NO PROBLEM,

MYSTERIOUS GUS.

[ CRUNCH! ]

MMM! [ GULPS ]

THERE. WE STOPPED EATING THEM.

>> The Best: [ BURPS ]

>> Chicken Man: [ CHUCKLES ]

>> WHAT?!

>> Narrator: SINCE THE DAWN OF

TIME, WRESTLING FANS HAVE SAT

POLITELY IN THEIR SEATS AND

ENJOYED THEIR FAVORITE PASTIME

FROM A SAFE DISTANCE.

>> BUT THOSE LOUSY WRESTLERS ATE

OUR NUTS!

>> HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO WATCH

WRESTLING WITHOUT NO FRESH

ROASTED NUTS?!

>> WHAT ARE WE -- SAVAGES?!

>> IT'S TIME WE RISE UP OUT OF

OUR SEATS AND TAKE A STAND

AGAINST THOSE WHO DONE US WRONG!

ARE YOU WITH ME?!

>> All: YEAH!

>> The Best: UH-OH.

[ PLURT! ]

THAT'S WHEN THE BEST GOT ANOTHER

BEST IDEA EVER!

>> YOU CAN TALK LIKE ME AND WALK

LIKE ME, BUT TO BE THE MAN --

WHOO! -- YOU GOT TO BEAT THE

MAN!

>> Mr. Gus: I TOLD YOU GUYS NOT

TO EAT ALL THOSE RICH, SAVORY,

SALTY NUTS.

>> The Best: MYSTERIOUS GUS!

>> Chicken Man: YOU KNOW HOW YOU

ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A WRESTLER?

>> Mr. Gus: YEAH.

[ PLUNK! ]

[ PLOP! ]

>> The Best: WELL, NOW'S YOUR

CHANCE.

>> Chicken Man: I GUESS I REALLY

AMA CHICKEN MAN.

>> Narrator: IT WAS ONE DINOSAUR

PERSON AGAINST 10,000 WRESTLING

FANS.

>> Turnbuckle Bag: IT WAS

IMPOSSIBLE ODDS.

>> IT WAS PAYBACK TIME!

>> IT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT!

>> Chicken Man: IT WAS KIND OF

MY FAULT.

>> IT WAS THE NUTTIEST MATCH

EVER!

[ SPECTATORS SHOUTING ANGRILY ]

>> Mr. Gus: IT'S SHOWTIME.

>> I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE

THIS!

THOSE WRESTLING FANS ARE NO

MATCH FOR CHICKEN MAN!

OR IS THAT THE BEST?

WELL, WHOEVER IT IS, THIS HAS

GOT TO BE THE NUTTIEST MATCH

EVER!

[ ALL GRUNT ]

>> Narrator: HE FOUGHT LIKE THE

HORRIBLE CREATURE HE WAS BORN TO

BE.

HE FOUGHT LIKE A PROFESSIONAL

WRESTLER.

>> AAH!

[ GRUNTS ]

>> Mr. Gus: [ GRUNTS ]

>> ONE! TWO! THREE!

>> Narrator: AND MYSTERIOUS GUS

WON THE NUTTIEST MATCH EVER.

>> Chicken Man: YAY!

>> The Best: AWESOME!

>> Mr. Gus: MY DREAM HAD COME

TRUE.

I WAS A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER.

>> Chicken Man: WAY TO GO,

MYSTERIOUS GUS.

>> EXCEPT FOR ONE THING!

NOW THAT YOU'VE BEATEN UP ALL

OUR FANS, WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE

FANS.

AND WITHOUT FANS, I CAN'T MAKE

ANY MONEY!

I'M A VERY SERIOUS BUSINESSMAN.

SO YOU'RE ALL FIRED!

>> Mr. Gus: WELL, IT WAS FUN

WHILE IT LASTED.

>> Chicken Man: AND I GOT TO BE

ON TV!

>> AND THIS WAS THE VERY BEST

SLICE OF PIZZA RIC FLAIR HAS

EVER HAD.

WHOO!

[ DING! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ LAUGHING ]

[ BABBLING ]

BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL!

BL-LL-LL-LL-LL-LL-LL!

[ DING! ]

HEH HEH HEH!

[ DING! ]

>> "NEW EXPERIENCES" WITH

BEARY NICE.

>> THAT'S ME!

>> AND HOT DOG PERSON.

>> THAT'S ME.

>> GUESS WHAT WE'RE DOING TODAY.

>> SHOPPING FOR TURTLES?

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

NO, SILLY HOT DOG PERSON.

WE'RE GOING TO USE OUR

IMAGINATIONS FOR THE VERY FIRST

TIME!

AND WHAT BETTER PLACE TO USE OUR

IMAGINATIONS THAN AT THE MALL?

>> BUT WHAT IF I DON'T HAVEAN

IMAGINATION?

>> HMM.

JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION!

>> I GUESS I COULD GIVE IT A --

>> STAND BACK, EVERYONE.

BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO LET MY

IMAGINATION RUN WILD!

[ GRUNTING ]

[ TWINKLE! ]

A FLOWER DRIVING A CAR?

MY IMAGINATION IS QUITE

IMAGINATIVE.

WHAT'S IN YOURIMAGINATION,

HOT DOG PERSON?

>> I KEEP TRYING, BUT...

[ SOBBING ]

...I HAVENO IMAGINATION!

>> [ GASPS ]

>> HEY, BEARY, WHY DON'T YOU

INVITE HOT DOG PERSON INTO YOUR

IMAGINATION?

>> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA,

FLOWER DRIVING A CAR.

HOT DOG PERSON, YOU ARE HEREBY

INVITED INTO THE REALM OF MY

IMAGINATION.

>> REALLY?

[ SPLAT! ]

[ PLUNK! ]

>> A HOT DOG PERSON DRIVING A

CAR?

MY IMAGINATION IS QUITE --

JIMINY BISCUITS!

THERE'S A SALE ON BLUE JEANS!

>> MALLS ARE DUMB.

[ TWINKLE! ]

HUH?

>> I NEVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED

THAT I'D BE DRIVING A CAR.

UH...BEARY?

[ HARD-ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> W-W-WHOA! WHOA!

W-W-W-WHOA!

[ Whimpering ] WHOA!

[ RAT SCREECHES ]

[ CHOMP! ]

[ RAT SCREECHES ]

>> [ GASPS ]

AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

>> YEAH, MAYBE I WILLGO GET A

HOT DOG AT THE FOOD COURT.

>> [ GRUNTS ]

[ GROANS ]

>> SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> I DON'T THINK I LIKE YOUR

IMAGINATION.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

NO, SILLY HOT DOG PERSON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW BLUE

JEANS?

>> THEY'RE...PRETTY NICE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GRUNTS ]

WHOA!