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[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!
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GOOD MORNING.
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GOOD MORNING.
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>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.
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GOOD MORNING!
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>> RAWR!
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SMASH!
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CRASH!
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BASH!
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RAAAAWR!
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>> HI, FRIEND.
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HOW ABOUT A BIG HUG?
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>> CUT!
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[ SIGHS ]
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YOU REALLY DON'T MAKE FOR THE
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BIG, TALL, AND SCARY TYPE.
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THIS IS NO WAY TO MAKE A
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GIANT-MONSTER MOVIE!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING,
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JAPAN!
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[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
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[ CLICKS SHUTTER CLICKS ]
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BREATHTAKING.
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>> [ GROANS ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GASPS ]
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AKIRA!
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WHAT'S GOING ON, BUDDY?!
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>> OH, HEY, UNCLE GRANDPA!
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WELCOME TO JAPAN.
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IT'S SO COOL TO FINALLY MEET
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YOU.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: I'M REALLY
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SORRY, SON...
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BUT I DON'T SPEAK JAPANESE!
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>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, THE
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KID'S SPEAKING ENGLISH.
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>> Pizza Steve: IT'S DEFINITELY
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JAPANESE, BUT DON'T WORRY.
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PIZZA STEVE CAN TRANSLATE.
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HE SAID, "WELCOME TO JAPAN"
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AND THAT IT'S SO COOL TO FINALLY
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MEET HIS ALL-TIME GREATEST HERO,
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PIZZA STEVE!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: WELL, NOW WE
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KNOW HE'S GOT GOOD TASTE.
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SORRY ABOUT BURYING YOU UNDER
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A PILE OF RUBBLE, AKIRA.
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>> OH, THAT'S NO BIG DEAL,
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UNCLE GRANDPA.
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[ GRUNTS ]
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THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF
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DESTRUCTION I WANT TO SEE IN
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THE ACTION-PACKED, GIANT-MONSTER
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MOVIE I'M MAKING.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA, WHOA,
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WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
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YOU'RE MAKING AN ACTION-PACKED
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G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-
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GIANT-MONSTER MOVIE?!
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OH, MR. DIRECTOR, SIR, MAY I
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HELP YOU MAKE YOUR MOVIE?
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>> SURE.
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I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO PLAY THE
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GIANT GREEN MONSTER.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU NEED A
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GIANT GREEN MONSTER FOR YOUR
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MOVIE?
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WHERE ARE YOU GONNA FIND SOMEONE
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LIKE THAT?
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>> Mr. Gus: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
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I CAN DO IT.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU, MR. GUS?
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I DON'T THINK SO.
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>> Mr. Gus: I CAN, AND I'LL TELL
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YOU WHY -- ACTING.
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YOU'RE IN LUCK, KID.
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I HAPPEN TO BE AN ACCOMPLISHED
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ACTOR.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: ACTOR?
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[ LAUGHS ]
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YOU'RE NOT AN ACTOR, MR. GUS.
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>> Pizza Steve: YEAH, YOU'RE
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ABOUT AS GOOD AT ACTING AS I AM
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AT BRAIN SURGERY.
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WAIT.
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I'M TOTALLY REALLY GOOD AT BRAIN
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SURGERY.
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>> Mr. Gus: YEAH?
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WELL, I
CANACT.
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>> I DON'T KNOW.
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YOU DON'T LOOK GIANT ENOUGH.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: HE'S RIGHT,
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MR. GUS.
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YOU'RE TINY ENOUGH TO FIT
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BETWEEN MY FINGERS.
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WE NEED TO MAKE YOU GIANTER!
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NOW SWALLOW THIS GIANT-MAKING
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PILL!
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>> Mr. Gus: [ GULPS ]
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[ CREAK! ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: THERE HE IS,
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MR. DIRECTOR, SIR -- YOUR GIANT
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GREEN MONSTER.
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>> THANKS, UNCLE GRANDPA.
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HEY, MONSTER, CAN YOU STOMP
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AROUND AND FRIGHTEN THE
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RESIDENTS OF TOKYO?
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>> Mr. Gus: YOU WANT THE MONSTER
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TO STOMP AROUND?
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HMM, BUT WHY IS HE BEHAVING THIS
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WAY?
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I KNOW.
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I'LL ACT OUT A MONOLOGUE TO
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BETTER DEMONSTRATE THE MONSTER'S
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MOTIVATION.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS,
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YOU'RE NOT AN ACTOR, BUT THAT'S
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OKAY.
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ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS STOMP
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AROUND LIKE A BIG, DUMB MONSTER.
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HERE, LET US HELP YOU.
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>> Mr. Gus: G-GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU
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DOING?
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STOP IT! THAT TICKLES!
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WHOA! WHOA!
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[ ALL SCREAMING ]
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AAH! AAH! AAH!
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A-A-A-A-AAH!
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>> PERFECT!
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THANKS, UNCLE GRANDPA.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, BOY!
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THIS MOVIE'S GONNA BE THE
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COOLEST.
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SEE, MR. GUS?
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PLAYING A MONSTER IS A CINCH.
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IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU CAN'T
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ACT.
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>> Mr. Gus: I
CANACT.
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YOU'LL SEE.
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>> OKAY, THIS IS THE SCENE WHERE
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THE MONSTER BREATHES FIRE ON ALL
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OF TOKYO.
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>> Mr. Gus: HMM. FIRE.
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YES!
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I MUST SHOW THE MONSTER'S
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PASSION, THE PART OF HIM WHERE
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THE FIRE LIVES.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: OR WE COULD
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JUST FILL YOU UP WITH THIS FIRE
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SAUCE.
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[ POP! ]
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[ WHISTLE! ]
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[ GLUG! GLUG! GLUG! ]
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[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
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[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
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>> CUT! THAT WAS AMAZING!
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OKAY, HERE'S YOUR BIG SCENE --
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THE MONSTER DEATH SCENE.
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>> Mr. Gus: THE DEATH SCENE,
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HUH?
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NOW YOU GUYS ARE GONNA ACTUALLY
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TAKE MY ACTING SERIOUSLY THIS
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TIME?
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>> Uncle Grandpa: DON'T WORRY,
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MR. GUS.
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ALL YOUR SCENES ARE COMING OUT
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REALLY GREAT.
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>> Mr. Gus: OKAY.
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THIS WILL BE A PERFORMANCE SO
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DRAMATIC, IT WILL MOVE THE
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AUDIENCE TO TEARS.
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>> Pizza Steve: OH, THIS SCENE
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IS GONNA BE DRAMATIC, 'CAUSE
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PIZZA STEVE'S IN IT!
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TASTE SOME ROCKET,
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GIANT GREEN MONSTER.
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>> Mr. Gus: THAT LOOKS LIKE
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IT'LL HURT.
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NO, NO, NO!
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>> CUT!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: DID YOU GET
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ALL THAT, AKIRA?
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>> I THINK THAT'S A WRAP,
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UNCLE "G."
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>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU HEAR THAT,
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MR. GUS?
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THAT'S A WRAP.
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>> Pizza Steve: UH, MR. GUS
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AIN'T LOOKING SO GOOD.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS!
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HELLO?!
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OH, NO.
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WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!
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[ SOMBER ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
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[ CLEARS THROAT ]
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THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.
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WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY NOT
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TO CELEBRATE DEATH...
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>> [ SIGHS DEEPLY ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: ...BUT RATHER
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TO CELEBRATE LIFE.
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[ SNIFFLES ]
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TODAY, WHEN WE LOOK AT MR. GUS,
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ALL WE SEE IS A DEAD DINOSAUR IN
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A PINE BOX.
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BUT MR. GUS USED TO BE SO MUCH
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MORE THAN THAT.
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MR. GUS USED TO BE ALIVE.
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AND MR. GUS USED TO BE...
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[ SNIFFLES ]
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...A GREAT FRIEND.
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WHENEVER I LOOKED INTO MR. GUS'
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EYES, I SAW A KIND, WARM SOUL
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STARING BACK AT ME.
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THAT, AND EYE BOOGERS.
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MR. GUS ALWAYS HAD BIG, CRUSTY
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EYE BOOGERS IN HIS EYES.
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IT WAS PRETTY GROSS.
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AND MR. GUS WAS STRONG.
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WE COULD ALWAYS COUNT ON HIM TO
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MUSCLE THAT JAR OF TACOS OPEN
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JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER.
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AND WHENEVER HE WORKED OUT, HE
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SMELLED REALLY BAD.
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HE SMELLED LIKE GARBAGE.
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AND NOW
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GIANT REALISTIC FLYING TIGER
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WOULD LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING.
231
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>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]
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[ ALL SNIFFLE ]
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[ ROARS ]
234
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>> Mr. Gus: [ WHIMPERING ]
235
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>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'RE UP,
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PIZZA STEVE.
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>> Pizza Steve: TODAY IS A
239
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REALLY SAD DAY.
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[ SIGHS ]
241
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I WENT DOWN TO THE ICE-CREAM
242
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STORE EARLIER.
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FELT LIKE HAVING SOME
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TRIPLE-CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM.
245
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[ SNIFFLES ]
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[ Voice breaking ] I'M SORRY.
247
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BUT WHEN I PLACED MY ORDER, THE
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ICE-CREAM-STORE DUDE WAS ALL,
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"SORRY, WE'RE ALL OUT OF
250
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TRIPLE-CHOCOLATE."
251
00:07:01,013 --> 00:07:03,003
>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GASPS ]
252
00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:03,013
WHAT?!
253
00:07:03,015 --> 00:07:04,015
>> Pizza Steve: [ SOBS ]
254
00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:07,001
HOW COULD THERE NOT BE A SPECIAL
255
00:07:07,005 --> 00:07:08,015
RESERVE FOR CELEBRITIES?
256
00:07:08,023 --> 00:07:10,023
I'M PIZZA STEVE, FOR CRYING OUT
257
00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:11,011
LOUD!
258
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:12,015
[ SOBS ]
259
00:07:12,019 --> 00:07:14,999
SO, ANYWAY, I HAD NO CHOICE BUT
260
00:07:15,006 --> 00:07:16,016
TO SETTLE...
261
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:18,998
FOR DOUBLE-CHOCOLATE!
262
00:07:19,002 --> 00:07:20,012
>> Uncle Grandpa: [ SOBS ]
263
00:07:20,014 --> 00:07:22,014
>> Pizza Steve: UNCLE "G," GET
264
00:07:22,007 --> 00:07:23,017
UP HERE AND WRAP THIS THING UP.
265
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,000
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
266
00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:27,015
[ SOBS ]
267
00:07:27,023 --> 00:07:29,013
HYAH!
268
00:07:29,007 --> 00:07:30,007
>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT WAS
269
00:07:30,007 --> 00:07:30,997
BEAUTIFUL, PIZZA STEVE.
270
00:07:31,006 --> 00:07:31,016
THANK YOU.
271
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,020
IN CLOSING, I HAVE JUST A FEW
272
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,009
MORE WORDS BEFORE WE PUSH THE
273
00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:36,023
COFFIN INTO THE FURNACE.
274
00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:38,001
>> Mr. Gus: [ GASPS ]
275
00:07:38,005 --> 00:07:39,015
>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS WAS A
276
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:41,010
LARGE GUY.
277
00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:42,010
>> Mr. Gus: [ GROWLS ]
278
00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:43,995
>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS WAS SO
279
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,015
LARGE, WHEN HE SAT AROUND THE
280
00:07:45,017 --> 00:07:48,007
RV, HE LITERALLY SAT AROUND THE
281
00:07:48,015 --> 00:07:48,021
RV.
282
00:07:48,023 --> 00:07:49,023
>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]
283
00:07:49,022 --> 00:07:51,002
>> Pizza Steve: [ SOBS ]
284
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,013
>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS WAS
285
00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:57,002
SO LARGE, WHEN HE BACKED UP, HE
286
00:07:57,004 --> 00:07:58,014
WENT, "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!"
287
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,011
>> Mr. Gus: ALL RIGHT!
288
00:07:59,015 --> 00:08:00,005
[ ALL GASP ]
289
00:08:00,008 --> 00:08:01,998
THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH!
290
00:08:02,002 --> 00:08:03,022
I'M NOT LARGE, I DON'T SMELL
291
00:08:03,020 --> 00:08:05,020
LIKE GARBAGE, AND I'M NOT DEAD,
292
00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:06,009
EITHER.
293
00:08:06,011 --> 00:08:08,011
I JUST WANTED YOU GUYS TO TAKE
294
00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:09,998
ME SERIOUSLY AS AN ACTOR AND
295
00:08:10,002 --> 00:08:11,022
PROVE THAT MY PERFORMANCE COULD
296
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,010
MOVE AN AUDIENCE TO TEARS.
297
00:08:13,016 --> 00:08:15,006
AND JUDGING FROM ALL YOUR
298
00:08:15,008 --> 00:08:17,008
REACTIONS...
299
00:08:17,011 --> 00:08:19,001
IT LOOKS LIKE I ACHIEVED THAT.
300
00:08:19,003 --> 00:08:20,023
>> Pizza Steve: THE UNDEAD WALKS
301
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,011
THE EARTH!
302
00:08:21,016 --> 00:08:22,016
AAH!
303
00:08:22,019 --> 00:08:23,999
>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS IS A
304
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,014
ZOMBIE!
305
00:08:25,007 --> 00:08:26,997
ATTACK! ATTACK!
306
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:27,016
[ CHAIN SAW BUZZES ]
307
00:08:28,001 --> 00:08:31,001
>> Mr. Gus: IT'S ME! IT'S ME!
308
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:32,003
>> AWESOME!
309
00:08:32,006 --> 00:08:33,996
[
EPIC MUSIC PLAYS]
310
00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:37,005
>> [
ROARING]
311
00:08:37,008 --> 00:08:38,018
>> Uncle Grandpa: COOL MOVIE,
312
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,010
MR. DIRECTOR.
313
00:08:39,015 --> 00:08:40,015
AND I'M SORRY, MR. GUS.
314
00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:42,011
I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TAKE YOUR
315
00:08:42,009 --> 00:08:43,009
ACTING SERIOUSLY.
316
00:08:43,016 --> 00:08:44,996
YOU'RE A GREAT ACTOR.
317
00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:46,015
>> Mr. Gus: [ GROANS ]
318
00:08:46,019 --> 00:08:47,019
[ Weakly ] REALLY?
319
00:08:47,019 --> 00:08:48,019
[ GROANS ]
320
00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:50,009
YOU REALLY LIKE MY PERFORMANCE?
321
00:08:50,009 --> 00:08:51,009
>> Uncle Grandpa: ARE YOU
322
00:08:51,016 --> 00:08:52,006
KIDDING, MR. GUS?
323
00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:53,995
ANYONE WHO CAN PRETEND TO BE SO
324
00:08:54,005 --> 00:08:55,015
INJURED AFTER BEING ATTACKED BY
325
00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:56,018
A CHAIN-SAW-WIELDING,
326
00:08:56,021 --> 00:08:58,001
ZOMBIE-DESTROYING MOB IS A
327
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,015
MASTER ACTOR!
328
00:08:59,023 --> 00:09:02,003
>> Mr. Gus: [ GROANS ]
329
00:09:03,023 --> 00:09:05,023
>> Uncle Grandpa: UH-OH!
330
00:09:05,018 --> 00:09:07,018
>> Pizza Steve: AND NOW
331
00:09:07,022 --> 00:09:09,022
"SLICE OF LIFE WITH
332
00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:11,017
PIZZA STEVE."
333
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,000
[
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
334
00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:19,023
[
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
335
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:21,011
'SUP, BRAH?
336
00:09:21,014 --> 00:09:23,024
YOUR RADIO WAS BROKEN, BUT I
337
00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:26,002
FIXED IT.
338
00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:27,013
>> Mr. Gus: I WAS LISTENING TO
339
00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:28,010
THAT.
340
00:09:28,015 --> 00:09:31,005
[
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
341
00:09:31,015 --> 00:09:32,005
[
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
342
00:09:32,013 --> 00:09:33,013
>> Pizza Steve: SORRY, BRO.
343
00:09:33,014 --> 00:09:35,004
IT'S JUST THAT I'M ALLERGIC TO
344
00:09:35,003 --> 00:09:37,003
CLASSICAL MUSIC.
345
00:09:37,002 --> 00:09:38,002
>> Mr. Gus: [ MUTTERING ]
346
00:09:38,006 --> 00:09:39,006
[
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
347
00:09:39,014 --> 00:09:41,004
IT'S MY TURN TO DRIVE, SO
IPICK
348
00:09:41,002 --> 00:09:41,022
THE MUSIC.
349
00:09:41,023 --> 00:09:42,023
HANDS OFF.
350
00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:44,021
>> Pizza Steve: NO HANDS?
351
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,008
NO PROBLEM.
352
00:09:45,012 --> 00:09:46,022
[
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
353
00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:48,011
BETTER KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF,
354
00:09:48,010 --> 00:09:51,000
MR. GUS.
355
00:09:51,005 --> 00:09:52,005
[ LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY ]
356
00:09:52,015 --> 00:09:53,015
MINE NOW!
357
00:09:53,023 --> 00:09:56,003
>> Mr. Gus: DISGUSTING.
358
00:09:56,003 --> 00:09:57,013
WHY YOU GOT TO TEST ME,
359
00:09:57,007 --> 00:09:59,997
PIZZA STEVE?
360
00:10:00,006 --> 00:10:02,996
[
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
361
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,013
>> Pizza Steve: MR. GUS, YOU
362
00:10:04,013 --> 00:10:07,003
BROKE IT AGAIN.
363
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:08,013
[
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
364
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,007
>> Mr. Gus: I'D LIKE TO BREAK
365
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:09,997
YOU.
366
00:10:10,003 --> 00:10:12,023
[
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
367
00:10:12,023 --> 00:10:14,013
[
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
368
00:10:14,011 --> 00:10:15,021
>> Pizza Steve: YEAH!
369
00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:18,010
[ GASPS ]
370
00:10:18,011 --> 00:10:20,011
[
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
371
00:10:23,004 --> 00:10:23,024
>> Mr. Gus: NO!
372
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,020
DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DIAL AGAIN.
373
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,021
HEY, RELAX, DUDE.
374
00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:31,011
I WAS JUST ADJUSTING THIS AIR
375
00:10:31,012 --> 00:10:32,022
VENT.
376
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:34,011
[
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
377
00:10:34,012 --> 00:10:37,002
SEE? NO TOUCHY.
378
00:10:37,006 --> 00:10:38,016
WHOA, NOW, M.G.
379
00:10:38,017 --> 00:10:40,997
YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT.
380
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,020
>> Mr. Gus: [ ROARS ]
381
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:49,021
FINE.
382
00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:50,017
YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR
383
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:51,020
ANNOYING MUSIC?
384
00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:53,010
YOUCAN DRIVE!
385
00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:54,019
>> Pizza Steve: FINALLY!
386
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,020
GEEZ. THANKS,
DAD.
387
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,020
CLASSICAL MUSIC. [ SCOFFS ]
388
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000
OKAY, MR. GUS.
389
00:11:02,004 --> 00:11:03,024
YOUR TURN TO DRIVE NOW.
390
00:11:03,022 --> 00:11:04,022
>> Uncle Grandpa: UH-OH!
391
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,010
[ GRUNTING ]
392
00:11:06,012 --> 00:11:08,002
NOTHING'S WORKING.
393
00:11:08,004 --> 00:11:09,014
HELP!
394
00:11:09,014 --> 00:11:11,014
[ GRUNTING ]
395
00:11:11,009 --> 00:11:12,019
THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE.
396
00:11:12,018 --> 00:11:14,018
ALL MY CATS GOT OUT.
24162
