Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

>> [ QUACKS ]

[ CHOMP! ]

[ MUNCH! MUNCH! ]

>> Pizza Steve: AW, MAN.

>> Uncle Grandpa: DID YOU BEAT

THE GAME ALREADY, PIZZA STEVE?

>> Pizza Steve: THIS STUPID

GAME?

[ SCOFFS ]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, BRO?

IT ONLY TOOK LIKE FIVE MINUTES.

AND I HAD MY EYES CLOSED THE

WHOLE TIME.

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO WAY!

>> Pizza Steve: HERE.

I'LL PROVE IT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

HIGH FIVE FOR BEING THE BEST

NUMBER-ONE VIDEO-GAME CHAMPION,

PIZZA STEVE.

>> Pizza Steve: [ LAUGHS ]

ALL RIGHT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I SHOULD LET

YOU DRIVE THE R.V. ONE DAY.

>> Mr. Gus: YOU NEVER LET ME

DRIVE THE R.V.

WHY --

>> Uncle Grandpa #2: PLEASE,

MR. GUS.

PIZZA STEVE WAS PROBABLY JUST

ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING.

>> Pizza Steve: MR. GUS, MAYBE

YOU SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME BEING

A WINNER AND LESS TIME PUTTING

UP LOSER BIRDHOUSES.

'CAUSE LAST TIME I CHECKED, I

DIDN'T SEE ANY BIRDS IN HERE.

UNCLE G, DO YOU SEE ANY BIRDS IN

HERE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOPE.

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

[ POP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

NEAT!

>> HEY!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

LOOK OUT, LOOK OUT, LOOK OUT!

OH...YOU JUST LOST.

>> UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, ADAM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

>> I'VE BEEN DOWN HERE FOR WEEKS

TRYING TO BEAT THIS VIDEO GAME.

I CAN'T EVEN GET PAST THE FIRST

LEVEL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I KNOW HOW TO

HELP YOU.

>> YOU...DO?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP.

NOW, LISTEN.

THAT GAME'S A TOUGH ONE, BUT

YOU'VE GOT A BRAIN, SO ALL WE

HAVE TO DO IS MAKE THAT BRAIN

AWESOME AT VIDEO GAMES.

AND YOU'RE IN LUCK, 'CAUSE I

KNOW THE MASTER OF VIDEO

GAMES -- PIZZA STEVE.

>> Pizza Steve: MASTER OF VIDEO

GAMES?

UH...BUT I, UH --

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY,

PIZZA STEVE.

WE'RE GONNA GET INSIDE ADAM'S

HEAD, TAKE OVER ADAM'S BRAIN,

AND THEN USE YOUR AWESOME

VIDEO-GAME SKILLS TO MAKE ADAM

GOOD AT VIDEO GAMES.

>> Pizza Steve: MY...AWESOME

VIDEO-GAME SKILLS?

BUT I, UH -- I DON'T HAVE MY

LUCKY CONTROLLER WITH ME.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT'S OKAY.

I GOT IT RIGHT HERE.

HEY, UNCLE GRANDPA!

CAN YOU MAKE US TEENY-TINY?

>> Uncle Grandpa #2: OKAY,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOW PUT US ON

ADAM'S FACE.

THANKS.

WAIT.

NOW ADD SOME LENS FLARES.

[ TWINKLE! ]

AWESOME.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S MOVE.

[ SQUISH! ]

[ POP! ZIP! ]

OKAY, PIZZA STEVE.

THE PRESSURE'S ON, AND THE

STAKES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER.

THIS GAME WILL DETERMINE WHETHER

ADAM WILL BECOME SUCCESSFUL IN

LIFE OR SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL

INTO THE DEPTHS OF DEPRESSION

AND FAILURE.

HERE'S THE CONTROLLER.

>> Pizza Steve: YOU GO FIRST,

UNCLE G.

>> Uncle Grandpa: BUT,

PIZZA STEVE, YOU'RE THE

VIDEO-GAME MASTER.

>> Pizza Steve: BUT, UH...I'VE

GOT PIZZA ALL OVER MY HANDS.

YOU HANDLE THE CONTROLLER.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO IF YOU

NEED HELP.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY.

I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

[ BEEPING ]

WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?

WHAT DO I DO?

>> Pizza Steve: HIT "START,"

BRO.

[ BEEP ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY. GOT IT.

NOW WHAT?

>> Pizza Steve: UH...

FIRST, YOU SHOULD START LOOKING

AROUND.

>> Uncle Grandpa: INTERESTING

FIRST LEVEL WE GOT HERE.

SIR LANCELOT'S BATTLE AX!

>> Pizza Steve: OH, SWEET!

PICK IT UP, UNCLE G.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HECK, YEAH, I

WILL.

[ CREAK! ]

[ WHIRRING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY.

NOW WHAT, PIZZA STEVE?

>> Pizza Steve: DUDE, TREASURE

CHEST STRAIGHT AHEAD.

>> Uncle Grandpa: SWEET.

[ WHIRRING ]

[ WHAP! ]

ALL RIGHT. LET'S KEEP MOVING.

IT'S A CREEPY TORTURE DUNGEON!

>> Pizza Steve: WE BETTER GET

OUT OF HERE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THERE'S NO WAY

OUT.

WHAT DO WE DO, PIZZA STEVE?

>> Pizza Steve: UH...USUALLY

WHEN I CAN'T FIND A DOOR, UM, I

JUST MAKE ONE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY, MASTER

OF ALL VIDEO GAMES.

[ WHIRRING ]

[ PITTER! ]

[ ZOOM! ]

[ CRASH! ]

>> Both: [ GROANING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: ARE YOU SURE

WE CAN MAKE OUR OWN DOOR IN THIS

GAME?

>> Pizza Steve: TOTALLY.

UH, YOU JUST GOT TO GIVE IT MORE

JUICE, DUDE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: ALL RIGHT.

AAH!

[ CRASH! ]

SWEET. IT WORKED.

>> Pizza Steve: TOLD YOU.

[ WHIRRING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

IT'S A SKATEBOARD RAIL SLIDE

BONUS LEVEL.

YOU GOT TO DO IT, PIZZA STEVE.

>> Pizza Steve: NO!

[ ZIP! ]

I MEAN, YEAH...I REALLY WANT TO

PLAY [Chuckling] BUT...YOU'RE

KILLING IT, UNCLE G!

YOU GOT TO KEEP GOING.

[ WHIRL! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY.

BUT IF THIS WASN'T A VIDEO GAME,

IT WOULD BE A DEATH WISH.

[ WHIRS ]

[ SMACK! ]

[ SQUEAK! ]

[ WHOOSH! ]

[ SCREECH! ]

[ SMACK! ]

I THINK WE BOTCHED THE LANDING.

[ RUMBLING APPROACHING ]

WE GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS STUPID

LEVEL.

YOU HAVE ANY MORE GOOD MOVES?

>> Pizza Steve: SURE I DO.

UM, HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF

THE, UH...PIZZA STEVE 2000 MOVE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: 2000?

THAT SOUNDS WAY TOO HARD.

YOU -- YOU BETTER DO IT,

PIZZA STEVE.

>> Pizza Steve: NO, MAN.

IT'S EASY, AND, UH, WE CAN

TOTALLY BEAT THE WHOLE GAME

RIGHT NOW IF YOU DO IT.

ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS, UH, SLAP

ALL THE BUTTONS AND MOVE THE

JOYSTICK ALL OVER THE PLACE.

IT'S PURE WIN, DUDE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: REALLY?

OKAY. LET'S GIVE IT A WHIRL.

[ WHIP! WHIP! WHIP! WHIP! ]

[ HORN HONKS ]

[ WHOOSH! ]

[ CRASH! ]

>> MY NUTS!

[ WHIFFLE! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: AWESOME

GRAPHICS!

[ ELEPHANT TRUMPETS ]

[ SMACK! ]

I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT MOVE

WOULD BEAT THE GAME.

>> Pizza Steve: I, UH --

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM...

WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS IS BAD.

THIS IS REALLY BAD.

WE'RE IN JAIL.

[ GORILLA GRUNTING ]

WITH A COUNTRY-MUSIC SUPERSTAR!

FLIPPIN' FROG LEGS! WE LOST!

[ POP! ]

[ WHIFFLE! ]

>> HUH?

WHERE AM I?

[ GORILLA GRUNTING ]

AAH! WHAT THE --

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU SAID THE

SUPER PIZZA STEVE 2000 MOVE

WOULD BEAT THE GAME.

AND NOW WE'RE IN JAIL?!

>> UNCLE GRANDPA, PIZZA STEVE,

HELP!

[ Muffled ] HELP!

>> Uncle Grandpa: DID YOU HEAR

THAT?

>> Pizza Steve: UH...YEAH.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I THINK ADAM'S

IN TROUBLE.

[ PLOP! ]

[ GORILLA GRUNTING ]

UH-OH.

>> UNCLE GRANDPA, WHAT THE HECK

IS GOING ON?

>> Uncle Grandpa: HUH?

OH, UH...JUST BEATING THE GAME.

UH, WE'RE BEATING THE GAME.

>> WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: BEATING THE

GAME!

[ ZIP! ]

>> UNCLE GRANDPA!

[ GORILLA ROARS ]

[ SCREECH! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE,

ADAM'S IN REAL DANGER OUT THERE.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE THE

MASTER OF VIDEO GAMES.

>> Pizza Steve: I AM.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I'M BEGINNING

TO WONDER IF YOU'RE TELLING ME

THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR VIDEO-GAME

SKILLS.

IN FACT, I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER

IF YOU'VE BEEN TELLING ME THE

TRUTH ABOUT ANYTHING.

>> Pizza Steve: UNCLE G, I DON'T

NEED TO SIT HERE AND TAKE THIS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WAIT.

IF YOU'RE NOT LYING TO ME, THEN

YOU'RE GONNA PROVE IT.

>> Pizza Steve: [ GULPS ]

>> AH! NO, NO, NO.

[ SCREAMS ]

UNCLE GRANDPA!

[ POP! ZIP! ]

[ SQUISH! ]

>> Pizza Steve: [ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT. HERE GOES NOTHING.

[ WHIRRING ]

[ GORILLA ROARS ]

[ GORILLA ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GEE WHIZ!

[ SCREECH! ]

[ WHIFFLE! ]

[ SMACK! ]

AMAZING!

[ POINK! POINK! POINK! ]

>> Pizza Steve: OH, WHO AM I

KIDDING?!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE,

YOU DID IT!

>> Pizza Steve: HUH?

YEAH.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I DID IT.

NOT SURPRISING AT ALL WHEN

YOU'RE THE MASTER OF VIDEO

GAMES.

[ SLINK! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WELL, I HOPE

YOU LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY,

ADAM.

>> NOT AT ALL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: GREAT!

PIZZA STEVE, I OWE YOU AN

APOLOGY.

YOU PROVED THAT YOU REALLY ARE

THE MASTER OF VIDEO GAMES.

>> Pizza Steve: NOT GONNA LIE,

I'M A LITTLE HURT, UNCLE G.

BUT I'LL CONSIDER ACCEPTING YOUR

APOLOGY IF I CAN USE YOUR CREDIT

CARD TO ORDER SOME PIZZAS

TONIGHT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU GOT IT,

PIZZA STEVE.

NOW LET'S GO HOME.

[ WHISTLES ]

>> WAIT! WAIT!

BUT I'M STILL A LOSER AT VIDEO

GAMES.

[ ZIP! ]

>> Pizza Steve: BRO!

YOU WANT TO KNOW THE MOTHER OF

ALL VIDEO-GAME TIPS?

>> YEAH.

>> Pizza Steve: JUST CLOSE YOUR

EYES AND HIT ALL THE BUTTONS

RANDOMLY.

WORKS EVERY TIME, DUDE.

>> HIT ALL THE BUTTONS RANDOMLY.

YEAH.

THANKS, YOU GUYS.

OW!

>> [ QUACKING ]

>> TEARS OF JOY WELL UP BEHIND

MY SHADES AS I GAZE UPON A TRUE

MASTER OF VIDEO GAMES.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

[ CREAK! ]

WHAA! WHO-O-A!

THE CAMPFIRE IS RIP-ROARING, AND

THAT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ LAUGHS ]

SILLY, GIANT REALISTIC FLYING

TIGER.

THE MART MART FIRE WAS AN

ACCIDENT.

THIS FIRE IS FOR...

"UNCLE GRANDPA'S STORY TIME

STORYBOOK OF STORIES."

NOW, PAY ATTENTION, GANG.

YOU JUST MIGHT LEARN A VERY

IMPORTANT LESSON ABOUT LIFE.

"CHAPTER ONE -- THE LEGEND OF

THE BEARDMAN, THE NIGHTTIME

TICKLER."

[ TWINKLE! ]

[ RIP! ]

[ CHOMP! ]

MM-MMM.

[ GULP! ]

ONCE UPON A...

[ RIP! ]

MMM.

...TIME.

[ RIP! ]

MMM. MMM.

THERE WAS A MYSTERIOUS BEARD,

COVERED FROM HEAD TO TOE IN

BEARD, KNOWN ONLY AS THE

BEARDMAN.

[ POINK! ]

>> [ CHUCKLES MANIACALLY ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THIS BEARDMAN

CHARACTER WAS A NOCTURNAL

TRICKSTER...

[ CRANK! ]

...TICKLING NOSES WITH HIS WISPY

BEARD.

[ WHIFFLE! ]

>> [ SNIFFS ]

[ SMACK! ]

[ SNIFFLES ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HE WAS A REAL

RASCAL.

BUT ONE FATEFUL NIGHT, THE

BEARDMAN LEARNED A VERY

IMPORTANT LESSON ABOUT LIFE.

[ ZIP! ]

>> [ CHUCKLES MANIACALLY ]

[ WHIFFLE! ]

>> [ SNIFFLES ]

[ SMACK! ]

>> [ LAUGHS MANIACALLY ]

>> [ GASPS ]

[ SCREAMS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HE LEARNED A

LESSON ABOUT LIFE WHICH LANDED

HIM IN JAIL.

THE END.

[ RIP! ]

MMM. YUM. YUM.

[ GULP! ]

SUCH A TASTY STORY.

>> Mr. Gus: SO...THE BIG,

IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON HE LEARNED

WAS, DON'T SNEAK INTO OTHER

PEOPLE'S HOUSES AND TICKLE THEM

WITH YOUR BEARD WHILE THEY SLEEP

OR YOU'LL GO TO JAIL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP.

WHO WANTS THE COVER?

>> Pizza Steve: UH...THAT'S ALL

YOU, UNCLE G.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY.

YOUR LOSS.

[ SQUISH! ]

MM-MMM.

[ BLINK! ]

>> Mr. Gus: [ SLURPING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS!

A LITTLE HELP!

PLEASE!

[ SCREAMS ]

>> Mr. Gus: [ SLURPING ]

>> THAT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS.