Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ HORN HONKS ]

>> OOH, A SPOT RIGHT IN FRONT.

IT MUST BE MY LUCKY DAY.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE MADE IT.

>> Pizza Steve: NICE PARKING

SPOT, UNCLE G.

>> Uncle Grandpa: MUST BE MY

LUCKY DAY.

NOW WE GOT TO GET IN THERE!

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, I

KNOW WE'RE ALL IN A HURRY, BUT

YOU PARKED IN A HANDICAPPED

SPOT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, YEAH.

I HAVE A BAD BACK.

>> WELCOME TO MART-MART, THE

PLACE TO GO WHEN YOU NEED THINGS

FOR STUFF.

WELCOME TO MART-MART, THE PLACE

TO GO WHEN YOU NEED THINGS FOR

STUFF.

WELCOME TO MART--

>> Uncle Grandpa: SIR, WE NEED

MOUSTACHE CREAM, AND WE NEED IT

FAST!

IF WE DON'T GET MOUSTACHE CREAM,

THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL BE

DESTROYED!

>> UH, IT'S AISLE 13.

BUT HOW CAN MOUSTACHE CREAM SAVE

THE WORLD?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO TIME TO

EXPLAIN!

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH, WE'RE ON

AN IMPORTANT MISSION.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY,

MOUSTACHE CREAM,

MOUSTACHE CREAM.

BELLY BAG, I NEED MY TELESCOPE.

>> Belly Bag: HERE YOU GO!

[ POP! ]

[ POP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOPE.

NOPE.

NOPE.

NOPE.

NOPE.

NOPE.

AH-HA! OVER THERE!

[ WHIP! CLATTER! ]

>> DUMB, CLUMSY CUSTOMERS,

ALWAYS MAKING A MESS.

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

[ WHIP! WHIP! WHIP! ]

>> FINALLY!

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

PHEW!

>> Uncle Grandpa: DO YOU HAVE

THIS IN CHILI-CHEESE FLAVOR?

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

>> Mr. Gus: HEY, CAN I GET THE

LATEST ISSUE OF

NON-VERBAL RESPONSE WEEKLY?

I MADE THE COVER AGAIN.

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO.

THERE'S NO TIME.

>> Mr. Gus: [ SIGHS ]

>> Pizza Steve: HEY, CAN I GET

THIS PIZZA STEVE COSTUME?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO!

THERE'S NO TIME!

[ SQUISH! ]

>> Belly Bag: HEY, CAN I GET

THIS BELLY-HOOP?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO!

THERE'S NO TIME!

HEY, CAN I GET THIS

MOUSTACHE CREAM?

NO! THERE'S NO TIME!

WE GOT TO GET MOUSTACHE CREAM

AND --

[ SLOOP! ]

OH, RIGHT. THANKS.

GREAT!

NOW, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

>> Mr. Gus: BUT, UNCLE GRANDPA,

WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE.

WE'VE GOT TO GET IN LINE AND

PAY FIRST.

>> OH, DEAR.

I'M ALL OUT OF CHECKS.

DO YOU TAKE PENNIES?

[ FIZZLE! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

>> OH, ROSIE, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: AW, THIS IS

TERRIBLE.

IF WE DON'T GET THIS

MOUSTACHE CREAM BACK TO THE R.V.

SOON, IT'LL BE CATASTROPHIC.

>> ATTENTION, MART-MART

CUSTOMERS.

TO ACCOMMODATE THE LONG LINES,

WE'LL BE CHECKING SHOPPERS OUT

AT THE PERFUME COUNTER.

[ SPRITZ! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE GOT TO GET

TO THE PERFUME COUNTER BEFORE

EVERYONE ELSE.

WE NEED A DIS-- A DIS--

[ CHOMP! GULP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE NEED A

DISTRACTION!

>> Pizza Steve: RELAX, GUYS.

I'VE GOT THIS.

[ WHIFFLE! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WOW.

PIZZA STEVE IS SO AWESOME.

>> UH, PRICE CHECK FOR

CANNED DIAPERS?

EXTRA LARGE CANNED DIAPERS.

PRICE CHECK --

>> Pizza Steve: MOVE IT,

PIZZA FACE!

ATTENTION, ALL SHOPPERS.

APPARENTLY WE HAVE A

MEGA-CELEBRITY IN MART-MART

TODAY.

THE WORLD-FAMOUS

PIZZA STEVE-E-E HAS GRACED US

WITH HIS PRESENCE AND WILL BE

SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS.

IF EVERYBODY CAN JUST FORM A

LINE AROUND THE --

SECURITY GUARDS?

UH-OH!

>> GET BACK HERE!

>> Pizza Steve: GET AWAY FROM

ME!

>> STOP, PIZZA MAN!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA.

PIZZA STEVE IS HERE.

I GOT TO GET HIS AUTOGRAPH.

>> Mr. Gus: FOCUS,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: RIGHT.

THE MOUSTACHE CREAM.

[ CREAK! WHIP! ]

[ SHATTER! ]

>> [ GASPS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. GUS, TO

THE PERFUME COUNTER!

>> Mr. Gus: [ SIGHS ]

>> Pizza Steve: [ PANTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE,

HOP IN.

CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

[ TIRES SQUEAKING ]

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

>> FINALLY!

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

OW!

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

[ RATTLE! CLONK! ]

[ CRASH! ]

>> EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.

HAVE YOU SEEN A LITTLE PIZZA

DUDE RUNNING AROUND HERE?

>> Pizza Steve: UH, HE WENT THAT

WAY.

[ POP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHERE'S

MR. GUS?

[ CHEWING ]

MR. GUS!

THERE'S NO TIME FOR FREE

SAMPLES!

WE GOTTA GET TO THE PERFUME

COUNTER AND PAY FOR THE

MOUSTACHE CREAM.

>> Mr. Gus: OKAY.

BLAAAHG!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HURRY UP,

GUYS.

WE'RE ALMOST THERE.

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

CAN'T SEEM TO GET AROUND.

DANG IT.

MR. GUS, CAN YOU DO SOMETHING?

>> Mr. Gus: DON'T WORRY.

I GOT IT.

[ CLACK! ]

[ POP! ]

QUICK, JUMP ON!

[ WHIP! ]

[ ENGINE REVS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HERE COMES THE

PERFUME COUNTER!

JUMP!

[ TIRES SCREECH, WHIFFLE! ]

[ TIRES SCREECH, CRASH! ]

LOOK, GUYS, THE REGISTER!

AND NOTHING STANDS IN OUR WAY.

[ SPRITZ! ]

[ COUGHING ] YUGH!

[ SPRITZ! ]

>> Pizza Steve: GOT TO BE

CAREFUL.

CAN'T LET THESE FUMES MASK MY

NATURAL PIZZA MUSK!

[ SPRITZ! ]

MY MUSK!

[ COUGHING ]

>> Mr. Gus: GOOD THING I'M SAFE

UP HERE.

>> PEEKABOO!

[ SPRITZ! ]

>> Mr. Gus: [ COUGHING ]

AURGH, AUGH!

[ ALL COUGHING ]

>> Belly Bag: GOOD THING I DON'T

HAVE A NOSE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HERE, TRY

MINE.

>> Belly Bag: NO!

I SAID, GOODTHING I DON'T --

[ SNIFFS ]

BLARGH!

[ COUGHING ]

[ POP! WHIRL! ]

HELLO, MA'AM.

I WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE THIS

TUBE OF MOUSTACHE CREAM, WHICH

IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL SAVE

THE ENTIRE WORLD FROM BEING

DESTROYED!

>> AND HOW WILL THAT PARTICULAR

HYGIENE PRODUCT SAVE THE WORLD?

>> Belly Bag: NO TIME FOR

EXPLANATION!

BLARGH!

NOW RING US UP, LADY!

>> OKAY, THANK YOU. HERE YOU GO.

>> Belly Bag: BLAAAHHHH!

[ SLURP! MUNCH! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THANK YOU.

COME AGAIN.

WE'VE GOT THE CREAM!

NOW WE'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO

THE R.V., AND SAVE THE WORLD.

[ POP! ]

TO THE R.V.!

[ ALL GASP ]

[ CROWD SHOUTING ]

>> GET THEM!

>> Uncle Grandpa: UH-OH,

PISTACHIO.

[ PANTING ]

UH, WELL, I GUESS THAT COULD'VE

GONE SMOOTHER.

[ PEOPLE SCREAMING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: TIGER!

WE GOT THE MOUSTACHE CREAM!

HOW'S IT GOING IN HERE?

TIGER?

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> [ ROARS ]

>> Mr. Gus: YOU LET THAT KITTY

ALONE, MOUSTACHE!

[ THUD! ]

OKAY, MY TURN!

GIVE ME THE CREAM!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HERE YOU GO.

AND REMEMBER, MR. GUS, WE CAN'T

LET THAT HAIRY BEAST ESCAPE THE

R.V., OR IT'LL DESTROY THE WORLD

WITH ITS HAIRY WAYS.

>> Mr. Gus: NO PROBLEM,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

CONSIDER THAT 'STACHE TAMED!

[ SQUIRT! SQUIRT! SQUIRT! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GASPING ]

>> [ ROARS ]

[ WHIFFLE! ]

>> Mr. Gus: YAGH! GET IT OFF!

HURGH!

MUST...RESIST...MOUSTACHE!

FIGHT...INCREDIBLE URGE...FOR

FLANNEL!

[ GRUNTING ]

[ POP! ]

[ SOUR NOTES PLAY ]

Y'ALL WANT TO HEAR ME PLUCK OUT

A TUNE ON MY UKE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO!

[ WHIFFLE! ]

HUP!

[ CREAK! ]

>> [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HUP HUP!

YEE-HAW! YIP! YIP!

TOSS ME...THE MOUSTACHE...

CREAM!

[ WHIFFLE! WHIP! ]

GOT IT! YES!

NO!

>> Mr. Gus: GET IT!

[ ALL GRUNTING ]

>> Mr. Gus: [ Strained ] WE GOT

IT!

>> Pizza Steve: NOW WHAT?

>> Mr. Gus: HECK IF I KNOW!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

[ ROBOTIC WHIRRING ]

IT'S CREAM TIME!

LET'S TAME THAT 'STACHE!

NOPE. THAT'S NOT IT.

>> Mr. Gus: HURRY,

UNCLE GRANDPA!

I CAN'T HOLD IT MUCH LONGER!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, THAT WON'T

WORK.

>> Pizza Steve: DON'T WORRY.

PIZZA STEVE'S GOT THIS.

[ GRUNTS ]

UH, BUT YOU SHOULD HURRY

ANYWAYS!

FOR MR. GUS' SAKE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HOORAY!

I GOT IT!

[ SQUIRT! ]

THERE, THERE.

THAT'S A GOOD 'STACHE.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST FINE.

[ WHIP! BLONG! ]

YOU JUST NEEDED A LITTLE

MANSCAPING.

HEY, DANNY!

WE GOT YOUR MOUSTACHE BACK TO

NORMAL.

HERE YOU GO, GOOD AS NEW.

>> THANKS, UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: REMEMBER, JUST

BECAUSE YOU WANT A MOUSTACHE TO

LOOK OLDER, YOU SHOULDN'T EXPOSE

IT TO TOXIC WASTE OR IT'LL TURN

INTO A MOUSTACHE MONSTER THAT'LL

TERRORIZE

GIANT REALISTIC FLYING TIGER AND

EVENTUALLY DESTROY THE WORLD.

>> BUT IDIDN'T EXPOSE IT TO

TOXIC WASTE, YOUDID.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

HUH?

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

STAY IN SCHOOL!

DON'T PLAY IN TRAFFIC.

>> [ GRUNTING ] WHEW!

[ SQUISH! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: I CHANGED MY

MIND.

THIS THING IS EVIL.

[ WHIP! FOOSH! ]

GOOD MORNING!

ONE, TWO...WAIT.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO PLAY

YOUR INSTRUMENTS?

>> All: NO.

>> Uncle Grandpa: COOL.

ONE, TWO, THREE!

[ SOUR NOTES PLAYING ]

[ SLOOP! ]

[ CREAK! CREAK! CREAK! BUZZ! ]

[ WHIP! SHATTER! ]

[ FIZZLE! ]

[ POP! ]

[ PITTER! ]

[ WHIP! ]

[ WHIP! ]

[ SLOOP! ]

[ WHIRL! ]

[ BUZZ! SHATTER! ]

[ WHIP! ]

[ SPLASH! ]

[ SLOOP! ]

[ WHIRL! ]

[ BUZZ! SHATTER! ]

[ PLOP! PLOP! PLOP! ]

[ PLINK! ]

[ WHIP! ]

[ SHATTER! SHATTER! SHATTER! ]

[ FWISH! ]

[ WHIP! ]

[ SHATTER! ]

[ SHATTER! ]

[ SHATTER! ]

[ SHATTER! ]

[ SHATTER! SHATTER! ]

[ SHATTER! SHATTER! SHATTER! ]

HANG ON!

[ CREAK! POP! ]

[ CREAK! ]

>> Pizza Steve: SO, HOW MANY

UNCLE GRANDPAS DIDIT TAKE TO

CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ MUMBLING ]

ONE.

[ SOUR NOTES PLAYING ]

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

YOU GUYS LIED TO ME.

YOU DOKNOW HOW TO PLAY YOUR

INSTRUMENTS.