Original subtitles

I'm thinking about robots.

[ Cow moos ]

Smack-O-Lantern, when I get you in the ring,

I'm gonna give you the headache of your life!

This means war!

Cheetah!

After I'm done with you tomorrow [inhales]

you'll be cleaning your spots up from the canvas.

[ Laughter ]

Oh, man, can you believe these guys, home slice?

Their threats are so ridiculous!

[ Munching ]

[ Laughing ]

Oh, this guy's got a pumpkin on his head!

[ Slurps, spits ]

This is just too much!

[ Laughs ]

Hey, y'all.

Hey, Mr. Gus! Check it out!

We're watching pro rassling!

It is hi-larious, bro.

Don't mind if I do!

[ Grunts ]

Hello?!

I guess extinct reptiles don't need to have pants --

or manners!

[ Telephone ringing ]

Phone's ringing, y'all.

It sure is.

I guess somebody should get it.

I hope you don't expect me to do it.

This is my day off.

Well, I just sat down.

Looks like that leaves one other person to get the phone --

a certain Uncle Grandpa?

[ Ringing continues ]

Well, aren't I at least gonna elicit a response?

Hey, guys!

What are you doing talking to my life-size inflatable doll?

[ Air squeaks ]

Anybody care for some nachos?

[ Ringing continues ]

Oh! Phone's ringing!

I'll get it! [ Zip! ]

Uncle Grandpa's mobile residence!

Man: [ Dutch accent ] Uncle Grandpa?

The one and only, at your service!

Good, because I'm going to come over there

und give you a beating you will never forget!

Uh, excuse me?

You heard me!

I'm coming over to give you the beating of your life!

Oh, oh! [ Grunts ]

Guys, someone on the phone

just threatened to give me a beating!

A beating?! Ha-ha!

Man, you guys have been watching too much professional rassling!

Why on earth would anyone call to give you a beating?

[ Telephone rings ] [ Teeth chattering ] It's him!

I can't believe you, Uncle Grandpa,

scared of a little old prank caller.

I guess we need the adult of the RV to handle this.

You'll see that this whole thing is just silly.

Hello?

You know what?

I'm going to give you a beating, too!

[ Laughs]

Hello? Hello?!

Whoa!

Do my shades deceive me,

or are you looking a little shaken up there, big guy?!

Am I right, Uncle G?

I tried to tell ya, Mr. Gus!

[ Telephone rings ]

Somebody gonna get that?

Don't look at me!

Wow.

You guys are really something.

Scared of a dumb prank caller?

Then why don't you answer it?

I believe I will!

Leave it up to the real hero around here.

[ Ringing continues ]

Yo. Pizza Steve! Talk to me.

Pizza Steve, you are going to get the biggest beating of all!

Okay, you guys were right! Who is this lunatic, anyway?

I bet he's got gigantic muscles on every part of his body!

I bet even his muscles have muscles!

Even his head has bigger muscles than all of us combined!

And he can probably smash an entire city

using just his earlobe!

I can only imagine what he's gonna do to us!

[ All scream ]

We gotta get out of here, pronto!

I'll start the RV!

[ Engine sputtering ]

Huh?

No power! Better check the engine!

I thought this was where you kept the macaroni.

Two questions.

Where, pray tell, did you get all this macaroni,

and what did you do with the engine?

Mom? [ Vacuum cleaner whirring ]

No TV until you finish your dinner, Jerold!

All right, we'll just push the RV out of here!

Good idea!

You two push.

I'll keep a look out!

[ Both grunting ]

Keep going, guys! No sign of him yet!

[ Slurps ] [ Grunting continues ]

Whew!

I can't move it any further!

Yeah. It feels like the wheels went on vacation!

Got that right, buddy!

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Telephone ringing ]

[ Whining ] Not again!

M-Maybe he'll go away!

Uncle Grandpa here -- or should I say,nothere.

[ Chuckles]Leave your message after the tone

and me, Pizza Steve, or Mr. Gus will get right back to you!

[ Answering machine beeps ] Man: Don't think this answering machine is going to fool me.

I know you you're all there!

I'm almost at your door

to give you more beatings than you can shake a pickle at!

[ Answering machine beeps ] No!

Pizza Steve is too young and beautiful to die!

Maybe we can just hide.

That's so cowardly -- it just might work!

[ Zip! ]

Uh...

Whoa!

Yo!

What's a fella gotta do

to get some privacy around here?!

[ Straining ] Come on.

Almost got it closed!

Aw, nah.

This isn't working! Where else?!

I know! Follow me!

He'll never find us in here!

Uh, where are we again?

The phone booth. Why?

[ Telephone rings ] [ All screaming ]

[ All panting ] We're doomed.

We should just abandon the RV and try to make it out on foot.

We can start a new life somewhere else!

Leave the RV?!

You can't be serious, little buddy!

As much as I hate to say it, he's right, Uncle Grandpa.

We don't stand a chance against this menace!

I guess there's no other way, then.

Ya hear that, Tiny Miracle?

We all have to leave the RV forever.

-I can't. -You can't?!

No, I--

Did you hear that, everyone?

Tiny Miracle can't leave the RV

because his high moral standards won't allow it!

We can't just run away from our home!

Actually it's because I'm still charging.

If you give me a couple of minutes, I can leave with you.

Not now, Tiny Miracle. I'm saying something important!

We just can't allow some bully

to take over our lives and push us around!

This is our RV!

There's a time in every Uncle Grandpa's life

when he says, "I will not get pushed around any longer!"

Instead of being attacked, this time Iattack!

Uncle G's right!

It's time to show this lowlife what time it is.

Who's with us?!

Do we have a choice?

Of course not!

Soldiers, ready your battle stations!

I want to see your war face!

[ Screams ]

[ Growls ]

[ Sloop! ]

Hoo!

[ Making gibberish noises ]

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

[ Slurps ]

Here he comes.

If I don't make it, Uncle Grandpa,

you can have my exercise equipment.

And, Pizza Steve, I'm bestowing onto you

my collection of Charles Dickens novels.

I hope to high heaven we make it out of this alive.

I will not sit idly and allow him to cause harm!

It's time to take a stand!

Uncle Grandpa, where are you going?!

He's almost here!

[ Whistling ]

Hallo! My name is Hubrecht.

I walk all the way from Holland,

und I'm here to deliver your beating.

I have a many different kind to choose from.

Aah!

Here's a good uns'!

Some beating for the both of you.

Here's a nice beating for you, Mr. Gus!

Und a couple of nice beating for you, little one,

so you grow up big und strong!

So...you just wanted to give us beets?

Ja!

I give you a nice beeting -- one you never gonna forget.

You don't understand the English language, do you?

Ja,English.

Top of the mortgage to ya.

Well, ain't that a crazy mix-up.

That's it! You will bully us no longer!

-Uncle Grandpa, no! -Uncle G, no!

Good-bye, monster!

Oh, well. Maybe it's a fly to Holland.

And stay away, bully!

You do realize he was just here to deliver beets, right.

Of course I do, Mr. Gus! [ Grunts ]

I despise those evil things!

[ Tank gun fires ]

"Gut"-ter ball.

[ Chuckles ] Get it?

[ Inhales ]

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

[ Yawns ]

[ Flamingos squawking ]

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Chirping ]

[ Chirping ]

[ Slurps ]

[ Crows cawing ]

[ Woodpeckers chirping ]

Thanks, Uncle Grandpa!

[ RV beeps ]

-[ Screeches ] -[ Screams ]

[ Ducks quacking ]

[ Squawking ]

[ Ducks quacking ]

[ Pigeons cooing ]

[ Ducks quacking ]

[ Squawking ]

[ Yawn, clicks tongue ]

Birds -- can't live with them, can't live without them!

[ Squawks ]

[ Nose squeaks, pops ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

That was quite delicious.