Original subtitles

This is your favorite episode!

[ Cow moos ]

Okay, Oscar, are you ready for an epic snow fight?

Start on the count of three!

One, two, three -- go!

Aw, man, I wish I had real friends

so I can have a real snow fight.

[ Sighs ] Huh?

[ Screams ] Oh, no --

Did somebody say snowball fight?

Oh, hey, Joey!

I was looking for a kid who wanted to have a snowball fight.

Let me know if you see him.

Got to be around here somewheres.

Uncle Grandpa, it's me!

I'm the one that wants to have a snowball fight!

Well, Joey, if it's a snowball fight you want,

it's a snowball fight you'll get!

I'll be right back!

All right!

Who's ready for a --

Wait, Uncle Grandpa -- no!

What's wrong?

Well, no offense, but I was kind of hoping

for a little more competition,

seeing as how you're an old man and all.

Oh, I get it.

It's not the first time I've been rejected

because of my old age.

So you want some real competition, huh?!

Yeah! A snowball fight

that puts all other snowball fights to shame?

Yeah! Sheer snowball insanity?!

Yeah!

I know just the place, Johnny!

Let's get this snowball fight party started.

What do ya say, Jason?

Uh, Uncle Grandpa, where are we going?

The North Pole. It's where all the action is.

There she is, Jody, the famous, much-sought-after North Pole.

So what's this have to do with a snowball fight?

Uncle Grandpa?

Glad you asked, Jolene.

You see, the North Pole has been fought over for years.

Many nations have tried to claim it as their own,

but none have been successful in retrieving it

from the defiant race of snowmen.

These snowmen are sworn protectors of the pole

and will stop at nothing to defend it.

They may look like cute stacks of snow

with carrot noses and beady coal eyes,

but don't be fooled.

Yeah, yeah, whatever!

Let's get this snow fight started already!

Hey, snowman -- take that!

Ha ha ha! Gotcha!

Joey, what are you, crazy?!

Run!

[ Panting ]

Oh, man! We're in for it now!

Uncle Grandpa, what's going on?

You just started an all-out war with these snowmen,

and now there's no turning back!

What?

You threw the first ball!

Now they really have it in for us!

They've called in reinforcements.

Here, take these.

Uncle Grandpa, what's happening?!

That's Sergeant Grandpa to you, maggot!

Sorry, sir. Yes, sir!

Now, listen up! We got to take out that bunker.

We're gonna get that Pole, but we got about 10 enemies

ready to blow us away at a moment's notice.

Hot dog! I'm gonna take this hot dog,

rub it all over this map, and then eat it.

Hot-dog-arific war zone battle now!

I said, "Let's move out!"

[ Machine gun fire ]

Cover your flank! My what?

Enemies approaching 57 klicks northeast!

What's a klick, northeast?

[ Gasping ] Sergeant Grandpa, what is --

Keep it down, Private. I got to make a phone call.

This is Sergeant Grandpa, come in.

Roger that -- Niner Alpha Tango Charlie

Sixer Zulu Tango Tango, over out.

What? Now, follow my lead!

Sergeant Grandpa, what's going on?

The tango -- we're doing the tango.

Now follow my lead!

Dip, baby, dip!

Now twirl -- that's an order!

Well, no way we're gonna get past that snowman's land.

So what are we gonna do?

I'll ask the questions around here, Private!

So what are we gonna do? Um...

Call in an airlift?

Are you asking me or telling me, Private?!

Um, uh, I don't know, sir.

I should have you court-martialed,

you insolent good-for-nothing grunt!

Now, here, call in an airlift.

Um, hi, this is Private Joey.

Give me that! What do you think you're doing?!

This is Sergeant Grandpa, need an airlift.

Coordinates -- hot dog, niner, 80 mustard.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Private, I need you to man that door gun

and take out those ground targets.

Door gun? Ground targets, sir?

There better not be a question mark

at the end of that sentence!

No, sir! Sorry, sir! Yes, sir!

We're approaching a lot of flak.

Jeez, Louise, they're trying to turn us into Swiss cheese.

What's going on back there, Private?

I thought I told you take out those ground targets!

I'm trying, sir. There's just too many of them!

I'm hit, I'm hit!

What?! Man down!

We got a man down!

[ Moaning ]

All right, calm down, Private. Medic has arrived.

We'll take care of you in a jiffy.

It hurts, it hurts!

Private, suck it up! I'm sorry, Sergeant...

[Groans] ...Grandpa.

Now let's see what we got.

Oh, jeez!

Is it bad?

I've seen worse.

Now let's get down to business.

[ Groaning ] Oh, gosh!

Stay with me, Private!

So cold -- feel so cold.

All right, now let's clean up the wound.

Boy, this is messy!

All right, Private, almost done.

Stay with me, Buddy. Stay with me!

[ Sighs ]

Okay, Private, you're all patched up, good to go.

Sergeant Grandpa, I want to thank you for saving my life.

No need to thank me, Private.

It's a soldier's duty to look after his brothers in arms

and follow the sacred soldier's code --

"Never leave a man behind!"

Don't you forget that, Private.

We've been hit!

We're going down! We're going down!

Well, Private, looks like this is the end.

[ Bugle playing "Taps" ]

Good thing I remembered about these spare parachutes

at the last minute, or else we would have been --

Sergeant Grandpa!

Sergeant Grandpa, no!

Private! Private, no!

Don't worry about me! Get out while you still can!

Sergeant Grandpa, no!

Sergeant Grandpa, please, no!

[ Gunfire ]

Oh, man, what am I gonna do?

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Sergeant Grandpa.

Looks like you've picked the wrong fight yet again.

We know your little friend got away.

So why don't you make it easy on yourself

and tell us everything you know?

No! I'll never talk, never!

I'm not telling you nothing!

Very well, if that is the game you want to play...

bring in the iceman!

♪♪

[ Chuckling ]

Huh? What's going on?

What are you doing?! No!

No, no, not the ice cube!

[ Screams ]

Sergeant Grandpa -- he's in trouble!

But what am I gonna do?!

It's a soldier's duty to look after his brothers in arms

and follow the sacred soldier's code --

"Never leave a man behind!"

Don't you forget that, Private.

I won't forget it, Sergeant Grandpa.

[ Laughing ]

Take that! Whoo!

Yeah! [ Laughing ]

Oh, get this! Ooh, I'm gonna get ya!

Yeah! [ Laughing ]

Whoo! Yeah!

[ Laughing ]

Get some!

Sir, the boy has broken through our main gate

and is in the building!

Order to all troops to secure the area, now!

It appears your little soldier boy

is more powerful than we thought.

But no matter -- we will squash him like

the tiny snowflake he is!

That's where you're wrong, snowman!

Don't underestimate my private!

Stop him!

It's time to give it up and release the grandpa,

snowman person!

Sergeant Grandpa has trained you well, I see.

But you should not be so foolish

as to think you can defeat me and my army.

He's got a snow gun! It's a trap!

[ Laughs ]

A pity, you missed your target.

Good-bye, soldier. It was nice snowingyou!

Not so fast, snowman person.

I didn't miss my target -- I nailed it!

Huh?

I'm free!

What?!

Belly Bag, give me the hottest sauce you got!

Sure thing, Uncle Grandpa!

Here you go!

Uncle Grandpa: "Crazy Myke's Hot Sauce.

Caution -- extra hot!"

Sounds good to me!

[ Glass shatters ]

What in the living heck is going on here?!

[ Whistling ]

[ Stammering ]

[ Screaming ]

Whoa!

I'm melting!

Melting!

Ah!

Now, was that an epic snow fight or what, Joey?

Yeah.

[ Upbeat music plays ]

That was quite delicious.