Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ ALARM BLARING ]

[ EXPLOSIONS ]

YELLOW, EVERYBODY.

WE ARE NOW MAKING OUR DESCENT INTO BEAUTIFUL PARIS.

THE SEATBELT SIGNS ARE NOW ON, AND SO ARE ALL THE OTHER SIGNS.

OH NO! OH, GOLLY!

[ EXPLOSION ]

Uncle Grandpa, we at the council

have an urgent warning for you.

-Listen carefully. -SORRY, NO TIME.

FLYING THE R.V.

[ SCREAMS ]

AH, GAY PARIS.

CITY OF LOVE.

[ CRASH! ]

[ DIDGERIDOO PLAYS ]

[ POP! ] BONJOUR.

Belly Bag: UNCLE GRANDPA!

THIS ISN'T PARIS, FRANCE.

THIS IS AUSTRALIA.

WE MUST HAVE TAKEN A WRONG TURN AT SHEBOYGAN.

HUH. I DON'T KNOW, BELLY BAG.

IF THIS IS AUSTRALIA,

THEN WHAT'S WITH THIS YOUNG PARISIAN BOY

AT THE LA SUPERMARCHé?

[ Australian accent ] THIS IS ACE --

PERFECT FOR MY COLLECTION.

VINTAGE AIR JOEYS!

NICE!

[ WHIP! ]

ENCYCLOPEDIA TITANICA.

[ GRUNTS ]

HANG ON. WHAT'S THIS RECORD?

HMM. I WONDER IF IT'S ANY GOOD.

[ WHISTLE! ]

-I PREFER HIS NEWEST STUFF. -[ SCREAMS ]

OH, HEY, UNCLE GRANDPA.

AWW, MAN!

I BROKE YOUR RECORD.

I BROKE ALL THIS STUFF.

MAN, I'M TERRIBLE AT COLLECTING.

HEY, RELAX, TURKEY.

YOUR UNCLE GRANDPUSS IS HERE TO HEL--

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ] EXCUSE ME.

UH, THIS NEVER HAPPENS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. [ POP! ]

[ GROANS ] NOT THESE NERDS AGAIN.

TAKE A HIKE. [ BEEP! ]

-SO, WHERE WERE WE? -EEH! UH, I'M JOEY.

AND I'M A COLLECTOR, BUT I'M HAVING A HARD TIME,

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE TO PUT MY COLLECTION.

[ SOBBING ]

YOU'RE A KANGAROO, RIGHT?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST KEEP ALL YOUR STUFF IN YOUR POUCH, TURKEY?

ONLY GIRL KANGAROOS HAVE POUCHES, UNCLE GRANDPA.

OH!

[ TINK! ]

OHHHHHHHHHHH!

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU LET YOUR OLD GUMPY GUMP GUMPS

SET YOU UP WITH A BRAND-NEW POUCH?

UH, OKAY.

I THINK I HAVE JUST THE THING.

ALL RIGHTY, THEN.

[ HOCKS ] PTOOEY! [ SPLAT! ]

[ TINK! TINK! ]

[ WHIP! ]

[ CREAK! ]

IT'S A ZIPPER.

IS THIS SAFE?

AS SAFE AS ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS CRAZY TOWN. AAH!

STONE THE CROWS, THIS IS AMAZING!

[ LAUGHS ] NOW I CAN COLLECT EVERYTHING!

AW, THANKS, UNCLE GRANDPA.

GOT YOU. [ LAUGHS ] [ WHISTLE! ]

UNCLE GRANDPA READY FOR ACTION.

HEY! THE PERFECT START TO MY COLLECTION!

HEY, YOU MEAN KANGAROO, GIVE US BACK OUR TOYS!

JOEY, DID YOU TAKE THESE BOYS' TOYS?

LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE. THIS APPEARS TO BE

A BATTLE GADGET UNCLE GRANDPA POSEABLE CHARACTER FIGURINE.

AND THIS IS CLEARLY A BIKER WARRIOR MR. GUS BATTLE FIGURINE.

BUT BOTH ARE DEFINITELY SPECIAL EDITIONS,

WHICH MEANS THEY'RE TECHNICALLY NOT TOYS AT ALL,

BUT COLLECTIBLES FOR COLLECTORS ONLY.

UNDERSTAND, BRETT?

I UNDERSTAND.

COLLECT AWAY, JOEY.

[ LAUGHS ]

SO, HOW DOES IT FEEL?

[ TWINKLE! ]

THAT FEELS GREAT!

HEY, SORRY ABOUT HIM.

HE'S NEW TO THE COLLECTING THING.

HERE. TAKE THIS SUPERCOOL, MADE-TO-ORDER

MUTANT PIZZA STEVE EXCLUSIVE DELUXE EDITION MEGA-DOLL.

[ JOEY CLEARS THROAT ]

I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY WEREN'T FOR CHILDREN.

HE'S RIGHT, WILLY.

I UNDERSTAND.

AW, YEAH!

[ CREAK! ]

HUH. YOU LOOK DIFFERENT SOMEHOW.

NEW GLASSES?

UNCLE GRANDPA, YOU'VE SHOWN ME THE WAY.

I WANT TO KEEP COLLECTING TILL I EXPLODE!

I THINK MAYBE YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.

THE POINT?

[ CRIES ]

THE POINT IS TO COLLECT!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

AW, THIS IS GREAT! [ LAUGHS ]

YOU'D THINK I'D BE BETTER AT HELPING PEOPLE BY NOW.

WELL, I'M NOT.

I'M GONNA COLLECT TREES

AND ROCKS

AND BUSHES

AND THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE

AND AYERS ROCK.

[ GROANING ]

[ POP! ]

THIS THING.

[ SUCTION WHIRRING ]

[ WHIP! WHIP! ]

OH, NO!

YOU'VE TAKEN ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE AUSTRALIA BEARABLE.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE MORE DISCERNING.

IF YOU COLLECT JUST ANYTHING,

THAT MAKES YOU A BIG, FAT HOARDER.

HAVE YOU NO SHAME?

ARE YOU KIDDING?!

I'M THE GREATEST COLLECTOR OF ALL TIME!

AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU, UNCLE GRANDPA.

-WHAT'S HAPPENING? -CRACKS BE CREEPIN', YO.

DEY BE CREEPIN'.

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

[ SCREAMING CONTINUES ]

UH...

[ GROANS ]

[ GROANS ]

[ GROANS ] WHERE ARE WE?

OH, NO!

WE'RE DEEP DOWN UNDER AUSTRALIA.

WHICH MEANS ONLY ONE THING --

THE COUNCIL OF MUTANT UNCLE GRANDPAS --

AUSTRALIAN DIVISION --

TRUE DWELLERS OF THE DOWN UNDA.

THEY'VE BEEN LIVING BELOW AUSTRALIA FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS

AND CAN SEE THE FUTURE WITH THEIR THIRD EYE.

THEY KIND OF CREEP ME OUT.

UH, HEY, GUYS!

[ POP! ZAP! ]

GOOD MORNING.

UNCLE GRANDPA, THE SURFACE DWELLER,

WE'VE MADE MANY ATTEMPTS TO CONTACT YOU.

YOU HAVE? UH [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

I MUST HAVE HAD MY PHONE ON SILENT.

AND I ALWAYS FORGET TO CHECK MY TEXT MESSAGES.

OH, REALLY?

'CAUSE IT SHOWS THEY WERE READ

AT 4:15 P.M. EARLIER TODAY, MATE.

OH. [ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ] THAT'S WEIRD.

OUR COLLECTIVE THIRD EYE ALLOWED US TO FORESEE

THE CHAOS YOUR KANGAROO FRIEND WOULD EVENTUALLY CAUSE,

WHICH IS WHY WE TRIED TO WARN YOU

ABOUT GIVING HIM THE ETERNAL ZIPPER.

I KNOW THAT THINGS HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE OUT OF HAND

NOW THAT AUSTRALIA IS VOID OF ALL CIVILIZATION,

BUT MAYBE THIS WILL GIVE YOU GUYS A GOOD REASON

TO FINALLY GO ABOVEGROUND --

STRETCH YOUR LEGS, MAYBE WORK ON YOUR TAN,

BUY SOME REAL ESTATE -- A TASTE OF THE GOOD LIFE.

YOU CLEARLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AUSTRALIA.

BECAUSE OF ITS LOCATION ON THE REAR END OF THE EARTH,

ITS ECOSYSTEM IS VERY DELICATE.

[ CHOMPING ]

IF ANY OF THESE STRATEGICALLY PLACED ELEMENTS ARE REMOVED,

AUSTRALIA WILL LOSE ITS STABILITY

AND DETACH ITSELF FROM IT'S FOUNDATION,

CAUSING THE CONTINENT TO BUILD MOMENTUM

AND BOOMERANG OVER THE ENTIRE GLOBE,

DAMAGING ALL THE OTHER LESS IMPORTANT COUNTRIES.

[ BANG! ]

FOR GENERATIONS, IT HAS BEEN OUR JOB

TO MONITOR THE CONTINENT'S STABILITY AND KEEP THE BALANCE.

[ SLURP! ] THIS IS WHY YOUR KANGAROO FRIEND

MUST RETURN ALL THE STRUCTURES IN AUSTRALIA.

OTHERWISE, WE WILL TAKE NECESSARY ACTION

USING OUR PSYCHIC SKILLS,

LIKE SPOILING ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE TV-SHOW PLOT POINTS.

NO!

JOEY, DID YOU HEAR THAT CONVOLUTED STORY?!

YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT MUTANT MUMBO JUMBO?

NEVER!

[ WHIP! HISS! ] OW.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

I'M GONNA ADD ALL THESE MUTANTS TO MY COLLECTION!

[ ALL GASP ]

TOTALLY SAW THIS COMING.

[ WHIP! ]

[ ALL SCREAM ] CRIKEY!

COLLECTY, GOOD.

COLLECTY, VERY GOOD.

[ RUMBLING ] IT'S HAPPENING!

WAH! CRIKEY!

[ SPLASH! ]

OW.

-YOO-HOO! -HUH?

[ TWINKLE! ] [ ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

WHAT'S THAT?

HI. TEE, HEE, HEE!

[ WHIP! ] THAT RIGHT THERE IS A LADY.

SHOULD I COLLECT HER?

NO WAY. THEY HATE THAT.

AND HAVING A COLLECTION OF PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING

IS LIKE GIRL REPELLENT.

YOU GOT TO PURGE IF YOU WANT A SHOT AT THE HONIES.

AW!

WELL, I GUESS I DID GO A LITTLE OVERBOARD.

AND I'LL DO ANYTHING

TO WIN THE HEART OF THAT BEAUTIFUL SHEILA.

[ TWINKLE! ]

THERE. EVERYTHING'S BACK TO NORMAL IN AUSTRALIA.

[ CRASHES ]

SORRY FOR BEING SO EXTREME

WITH MY COLLECTING HABITS, UNCLE GRANDPA.

I GUESS I SHOULDN'T RUSH INTO THINGS SO QUICKLY.

WATER OFF A DINGO'S BACK.

AND NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT SO BUSY COLLECTING STUFF,

YOU CAN GO ON YOUR FIRST DATE WITH YOUR LUCKY GAL.

THANKS, UNCLE GRANDPA, BUT, UH,

WE'RE GONNA SKIP ALL THAT STUFF AND GET MARRIED RIGHT AWAY.

COME ON, SWEETIE. [ SPLASH! ]

SEE YA, MATE! [ WHIP! ]

AU REVOIR! [ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

Uncle Grandpa, you're in grave danger!

IGNORE.

[ BALLOON POPS ]

AND MAKE SURE HE TAKES HIS MIDDAY NAP.

OTHERWISE, HE GETS VERY CRANKY.

I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR, MA'AM.

HONEY, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR THE CHEDDAR-CHEESE CONVENTION.

COMING, DEAR.

ENJOY THE CHEESE!

OKAY, LITTLE FELLA.

YOU WANT TO PLAY SOME GAMES OR SOMETHING?

[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

GOO-GOO, GAGA!

CRANKY ALREADY?

LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME FOR THAT NAP

YOUR MOM WAS CROWING ABOUT.

BABY WANT SOME MILKY WILKY?

OW!

BABY PACKS A MEAN PUNCH.

[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

WOW. YOU GOT THE SILENT "B" AND EVERYTHING.

-AAH! -[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

GOO-GOO, GAGA!

SPLASH, SPLASH!

[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

THIS IS MORE CHALLENGING THAN I THOUGHT.

AAH!

I'M GONNA NEED SOME BACKUP.

[ CREAK! ] HERE WE GO.

THE BABY-NOMICON.

MAY ULE GAPA HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL.

DADA, IN-FANTA, GOO-GOO-FERATOS,

MAMA-MONTOS, OOPSIE WOOPSIE-DOMINUS.

UH-OH.

[ ZAP! ]

HELLO, UNCLE GRANDPA.

HELLO, LORD OF BABYSITTING.

SORRY TO SUMMON YOU ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE,

BUT I NEED SOME HELP GETTING THIS CRAZY BABY TO TAKE A NAP.

[ LAUGHS ] YES SIRREE, BOB. [ TINK! ]

GOO-GOO?

WHA?!

[ RUMBLING ]

[ BOTH SCREAMING ]

♪ ROCK-A-MY-BABY, ON A TREETOP ♪

♪ LA-DA-DA, DITTLE, DIGGITY-DOP ♪

ALL RIGHT! IT'S WORKING!

[ WHIP! ] [ GROANS ]

WE'RE BACK!

AW, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.

ALL TUCKERED OUT.

MY SWEET, LITTLE ANGEL.

[ SNORING ]

[ WHISTLING ]

♪♪

THAT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS.