Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

♪♪

[ SNORING ]

OH, MAN!

WHY DID I SLEEP SO BAD?

OH.

SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS MISERY.

OH!

YES, INDEED!

MY BRAND-NEW MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS

FOR MY OLD, OLD ACHY, BREAKY SPINE.

GUESS I'LL GO INSTALL THIS BAD BOY.

HEY, UNCLE G, WAIT.

WHAT IS IT, LITTLE STEVEN?

WELL, ACTUALLY, UM...

I WAS WONDERING IF I, PIZZA STEVE,

COULD SLEEP ON THAT MATTRESS?

I'D LOVE TO LET YOU, PEEZY,

BUT I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR OVER 1,000 YEARS.

WELL, I...

LET ME THINK.

I JUST FINISHED DOING 46 DOUBLE BACKFLIPS IN A ROW.

KEEP GOING.

AND THEN I...

LIFTED A PIANO OFF AN OLD LADY

WITHOUT EVEN BENDING MY LEGS.

YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING,

AND NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT.

COMFORTABLE, MY DOVE?

UH, YEAH, THANKS, UNCLE G. YOU CAN GO NOW.

OF COURSE.

PIGGIES GO SLEEPIES.

[ GROANS ]

BLEH.

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD SLEEP, BUDDY?

WHERE AM I? AND WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

YOU'RE IN THE RV, AND WE ARE YOUR BUDDY BOYS.

THAT'S FUNNY, I DON'T REMEMBER HAVING BUDDY BOYS.

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT TO CALL MYSELF.

YOU'RE PIZZA STEVE. DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

I'M -- I'M A SLICE OF PIZZA.

HUH.

UH, UNCLE GRANDPA,

HAS SOMETHING HAPPENED TO PIZZA STEVE?

WELL, I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING, MR. GUS.

I KNOW JUST THE THING TO GET HIM OUT OF THIS FUNK.

I HAVE THE CURE FOR WHAT AILS YOU, PIZZA STEVE.

YOU FORGOT TO PUT ON

YOUR TRADEMARK COOL DUDE SHADES THIS MORNING.

SUNGLASSES INDOORS? NO THANKS.

[ GASPS ] THIS IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!

PIZZA FORGOT HOW TO BE STEVE!

I DON'T KNOW, UNCLE GRANDPA,

HE SEEMS PRETTY OKAY TO ME.

OH, NO, NO, NO!

THIS ISN'T THE WISE-CRACKIN' DAREDEVIL OUR NATION ADORES.

WE HAVE TO SOMEHOW REMIND PIZZA STEVE OF WHO HE IS.

THAT'S IT, MR. GUS!

IN ORDER TO JOG

PIZZA STEVE'S MEMORY OF HIS AWESOME PAST,

WE HAVE TO RE-CREATE HIS EXTREME EXPERIENCES.

LIKE THE TIME HE JUMPED OVER THE MOON WITH HIS SPEED CYCLE.

HOW COULD A SLICE OF PIZZA JUMP OVER THE MOON?

ALREADY CRACKIN' WISE. CLASSIC PIZZA STEVE.

NOW, WE'LL GO STEP BY STEP

JUST AS YOU EXPLAINED TO ME BEFORE.

FIRST YOU JUMP THE RAMP,

THEN OUT OF THE SUN ROOF,

THEN THROUGH THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE AND OVER THE MOON,

AND LAND BACK IN THE RV.

UM, MR. UNCLE GRANDPA, I HAVE A STRONG FEELING

MY PREVIOUS SELF WAS EXAGGERATING TO IMPRESS YOU.

PIZZA STEVE IS BEING HONEST? THAT'S A FIRST.

NONSENSE.

IF PIZZA STEVE WAS EXAGGERATING, THEN WHY AM I SO IMPRESSED?

[ ENGINE REVS ]

IS HE INSANE? I CAN'T DO THIS!

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

AAH!

AAH!

OOF!

DOES THAT JOG YOUR NOGGIN, LITTLE SQUEEZY?

NOPE.

HMM.

HEY, PIZZA STEVE! I GOT IT!

BEFORE YOU LOST YOUR MEMORY,

YOU WOULD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVED

FIERY HOT PEPPERS.

SO MAYBE THESE NATURAL SPICES

MIGHT LOOSEN UP THOSE MEMORY GLANDS.

HOW IN THE NAME OF ANYTHING LOGICAL WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?

NOT SURE.

BUT I DO KNOW CONSUMING EXTREME FOODS

IS A PIZZA STEVE CLASSIC.

PLEASE, MAKE HIM STOP.

UNCLE GRANDPA,

I THINK WHAT THE NEW PIZZA STEVE IS TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT THE OLD PIZZA STEVE NEVER ACTUALLY DID

THOSE EXTREME THINGS HE WOULD BRAG ABOUT.

ALWAYS WRONG. CLASSIC MR. GUS.

WAIT!

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING. TELL HIM THAT --

[ GULPS ]

ACTUALLY, THAT WASN'T SO --

AAAAH!

NOW WHEN I THINK OF THE CLASSICS,

I REMEMBER THE TIME YOU WRESTLED WITH THAT FEROCIOUS BEAR.

WAIT, WHAT?

KNOCK 'EM DEAD, BUDDY.

UNCLE GRANDPA?

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

♪♪

[ SNIFFS ]

HEY, THIS LITTLE GUY ISN'T SO SCARY.

BOO!

[ CRIES ]

WOW, TAKING IT UP A NOTCH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HOW WAS THAT TAKING IT UP A NOTCH?

I DID WHAT YOU ASKED. NOW LET ME OUT OF HERE.

UH-OH.

-[ SNORTS ] -OOF!

OOOH!

[ GROANS ]

A CLIGGITY-CLASSIC PIZZA STEVE MOMENT.

NO! NO, IT'S NOT!

STOP FORCING ME TO RE-ENACT THESE RIDICULOUS STUNTS!

WHOEVER THIS PIZZA STEVE GUY WAS,

THERE'S NO POSSIBLE WAY HE COULD EVER FIGHT BEARS

OR SURF ON LAVA OR WHATEVER!

CAN'T YOU SEE HE WAS LYING TO YOU?!

NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

ONE MINUTE PIZZA STEVE ASKS TO USE

MY NEW MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS,

AND THE NEXT MINUTE HE WAKES UP A TOTALLY NEW PERSON.

UNCLE GRANDPA, WHERE EXACTLY DID YOU GET THAT MATTRESS?

WELL, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT...

[ EVIL LAUGH ]

PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, STAN.

WAIT A SECOND. ZOOM IN CLOSER ON THAT MATTRESS.

[ GRUNTS ]

AHA!

THE MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS YOU BOUGHT

FROM THAT SHADY SALESMAN WAS DESIGNED TO STEAL

THE MEMORIES OF ANYONE WHO LAYS ON IT.

A SHADY SALESMAN?

THEN MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE ALSO BOUGHT

THAT TELEPORTING TOILET.

WHAT THE -- OOF!

[ GROANS ]

HOW WILL I EVER GET MY LITTLE SQUEEZY BACK

WITHOUT ANY OF HIS AWESOME MEMORIES?

[ CRIES ]

HONESTLY, I KIND OF LIKE THE NEW PIZZA STEVE.

HE'S LESS ARROGANT AND --

NO WAY, MR. GUS!

I'M GONNA GET PIZZA STEVE'S MEMORIES BACK

FROM THAT DARN MATTRESS

IN CLASSIC UNCLE GRANDPA FASHION.

AND YOU CAN ONLY MOVE THE BISHOP DIAGONALLY.

THEM'S THE RULES.

WOW, MR. GUS, THIS IS A LOT MORE HELPFUL

THAN UNCLE GRANDPA'S CRAZY SCHEMES.

I TAKE IT YOU AND I WERE GREAT FRIENDS

BEFORE I LOST MY MEMORY.

UH, SORT OF.

ARE YOU GONNA ACTUALLY GO INSIDE THAT MATTRESS?

YES.

WITH MY HIGHLY SOPHISTICATED MEMORY-SUCKING THINGY,

I'LL BE ABLE TO RETRIEVE

THE MOST CLASSIC PIZZA STEVE MEMORIES

AND DUMP THEM BACK INTO HIS BORING BRAIN HOLE.

ONCE I'M DONE IN THERE, I'LL TUG ON THIS CHORD

TO GIVE YOU THE SIGNAL TO REEL ME BACK IN.

IS HE ALWAYS THIS SILLY?

UH-HUH.

WOW.

SO MANY MEMORIES.

VROOM-VROOM!

Woman: OKAY, LITTLE STEVEY,

THAT'S ENOUGH WITH THE VROOM-VROOM TOY.

[ CRIES ]

OH, HE'LL WANT TO REMEMBER THAT.

THIS THING WORKS LIKE A CHARM.

[ PIZZA STEVE SCREAMS ]

HUH? WHERE'S THAT COMING FROM?

THIS LOOKS LIKE A JUICY ONE.

[ SCREAMS ]

I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU A FILTHY MAGGOT-EATER!

PLEASE! I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!

[ SCREECHES ]

AAH! OOF!

[ GROANS ]

HEY, PIZZA STEVE. WHERE YOU BEEN?

UH...I JUST GOT BACK

FROM JUMPING OVER THE MOON ON MY SPEED CYCLE.

PRETTY INTENSE, BRO. YOU TOTALLY MISSED IT.

PIZZA STEVE, YOU'RE THE COOLEST.

PHEW! THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.

SO, HE NEVER JUMPED OVER THE MOON ON HIS SPEED CYCLE?

OH, WELL, I CAN OVERLOOK ONE INCIDENT.

[ GRUNTING ]

LIFTING WEIGHTS, I SEE.

YEAH, I DID LIKE 50 REPS

OF 100-POUND WEIGHTS THIS MORNING.

OH, YEAH?

THEN YOU WOULDN'T MIND HANDING ME

THAT FIVE-POUND WEIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

EASY.

YOU KNOW, ON SECOND THOUGHT, I DON'T WANT TO OVERDO IT.

HEY, PIZZA STEVE,

COULD YOU HELP ME MOVE MY COMPUTER DESK?

I FIGURE SINCE YOU CAN LIFT SO MUCH,

THIS WOULD BE A CINCH FOR YOU.

I TOTALLY WOULD, UNCLE G,

BUT RIGHT NOW, KIND OF RESTING MY MUSCLES.

OH, OKAY, PIZZA STEVE. I BELIEVE YOU.

[ GRUNTS ]

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT A SUCKER.

BUT WHY WOULD PIZZA STEVE LIE ABOUT HOW MUCH HE CAN LIFT?

I'M STARTING TO GET VERY SUSPICIOUS

ABOUT PIZZA STEVE'S PAST.

GO GET THEM, PIZZA STEVE!

[ GASPS ] UNCLE G, LOOK!

THERE'S A GIANT PENGUIN RIGHT THERE!

HUH? REALLY? WHERE?

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING. IS IT BEHIND THE ATM MACHINE?

UNLESS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MR. GUS OVER HERE,

THEN I DON'T SEE NO PENGUIN.

WOAH! YOU PLAYED A PERFECT GAME!

LIKE I SAID, I'M A BOWLING PRO.

I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.

AFTER I COLLECT ALL OF PIZZA STEVE'S MEMORIES,

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A VERY LONG TALK.

CHECK AND MATE.

YOU BEAT ME AGAIN, PIZZA STEVE.

GUESS NOW YOU CAN BRAG TO UNCLE GRANDPA ALL YOU WANT.

NAH, I'M NOT ONE TO BRAG.

BESIDES, I WAS TAUGHT BY THE BEST.

AW, SHUCKS.

UNCLE GRANDPA MUST BE DONE IN THERE.

WELL, I GUESS THIS MEANS YOU CAN GO BACK TO BEING

"CLASSIC" PIZZA STEVE.

YOU MUST BE SO EXCITED TO GET YOUR OLD FRIEND BACK, HUH?

YEAH. EXCITED.

[ GASPING ]

DID IT WORK?

OH, IT WORKED, ALL RIGHT!

ONCE I GIVE YOU BACK THESE MEMORIES,

EVERYONE'S GONNA FINALLY KNOW

THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT PIZZA STEVE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

AAH! OOH!

[ GROANS ]

[ PANTING ]

YOU OKAY, UNCLE GRANDPA?

UH, WHO'S UNCLE GRANDPA?

HA! GUESS WHO'S BACK?

THE ONE AND ONLY CLASSIC PIZZA STEVE!

WHO ARE YOU?

AND WHY IS THAT GUY SO COOL?

ALLOW ME TO REFRESH YOUR MEMORY

WITH SOME TALES OF EXTREME STUNTS

PERFORMED BY YOUR AWESOME NEW PAL PIZZA STEVE.

OH, OKAY.

[ SIGHS ]

KNIGHT TO F4.

HEY, UNCLE G,

I TOTALLY JUST BEAT MR. GUS AT CHESS.

WHO'S MR. GUS?

[ CHUCKLES ] CLASSIC PIZZA STEVE.

♪♪