Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ CLICKING ]

[ Rapping ] ♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP♪

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP♪

♪ LET ME SEE YOU GET DIRTY♪

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP♪

♪ LET ME SEE YOU GET DIRTY ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪

AND TRASHY D TAKES A THREE-POINT SHOT.

[ CLATTERS ] UGH! OW!

DID YOU FINISH CLEANING YOUR ROOM, SETH?

SURE, SEE?

THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL CLEAN?

AW, COME ON, POP!

I JUST WANT TO LISTEN TO TRASHY D, YO!

UGH!

NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY YOU SHOULD CLEAN YOUR ROOM?

CLEAN THIS MESS UP OR YOU'RE LOSING YOUR BEAT POD PRIVILEGES.

[ GASPS ] MY BEAT POD?!

NO WAY, POPS! T-THAT'S NOT FAIR!

IF THIS ROOM ISN'T SPOTLESS BY THE TIME WE GET BACK,

NO BEAT POD FOR YOU, YO.

CLEANING UP IS LAME, SON.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.

I BET TRASHY D DON'T CLEAN NO ROOMS.

[ SCREAMING ] OOF!

SETH, DON'T WORRY!

UNCLE GRANDPA'S GONNA MAKE EVERYTHING --

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP YOU.

IT'S JUST MY DUMB PARENTS.

THEY WANT ME TO CLEAN MY ROOM.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.

TSK, TSK, SETH.

IT'S NOT NICE TO SPEAK ABOUT

THE ONES WHO BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD...

IN SUCH A DINGY LIGHT.

I'M SURE YOUR MESS ISN'T AS BAD AS YOU MAKE IT OUT TO BE.

TAKE YOUR BEDSIDE, FOR INSTANCE.

I BET THERE ISN'T ANYTHING BACK HERE BUT A FEW DUST BUNNIES.

OKAY.

LET'S JUST PUT THAT BACK WHERE IT WAS.

THIS IS WHACK, YO.

AIN'T NO WAY I'M GONNA CLEAN UP MY ROOM.

I GUESS IT'S TIME TO CALL IN THE REINFORCEMENTS.

AND I KNOW JUST THE THING.

A GENUINE CERTIFIED U.S.D.A. JERSEY MAID --

MESSY BESSY.

BUT MESSY BESSY ONLY RESPONDS TO REALLY MESSY MESSES.

WE NEED TO MAKE THIS PIGSTY EVEN DIRTIER.

DIRTIER?! NOW, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, SON!

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP ♪

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP ♪

♪ LET ME SEE YOU GET DIRTY ♪

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP ♪

♪ AND LET ME SEE YOU GET DIRTY ♪

♪ ROLLING AROUND IN GARBAGE ♪

♪ LIKE A WACK DISEASE PARTY ♪

♪ WHEN THE FLOOR IS SPICK-AND-SPAN ♪

♪ IT'S TIME TO SEARCH THROUGH A GARBAGE CAN ♪

♪ JUST LIKE A DIRTY MAN ♪

♪ NOW YOU'RE FEELING SICK ♪

♪ ATTRACTING FLEAS AND TICKS ♪

♪ YOU'RE A SCUM-SOAKED NINJA ♪

♪ WITH A SWORD OF FISH STICKS ♪

♪ WAVE THE TRASH IN THE AIR ♪

♪ TOSS IT LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE ♪

♪ YOU SWIM IN SEDIMENT, YOUR FRIENDS ARE HESITANT ♪

♪ YOU'RE STINKING WORSE THAN BURNT HAIR ♪

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP ♪

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP ♪

♪ LET ME SEE YOU GET DIRTY ♪

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP ♪

♪ AND LET ME SEE YOU GET DIRTY ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

[ SQUEAKING ]

I MUST SAY, WE OUTDID OURSELVES!

THIS SHOULD BE MORE THAN ENOUGH TRASH FOR MESSY BESSY.

AW, YEAH, SON!

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.

[ MOOS ]

THISIS YOUR SOLUTION?

ABSOLUTELY!

MESSY BESSY IS A FIVE-STAR MAID.

BUT HOW CAN A DUMB COW DO ALL THAT?

[ MOOS ]

♪♪

HEY, HEY! YOU WEREN'T KIDDING!

THAT'S RIGHT, YOUNG SETH.

HER FOUR STOMACHS AS WELL AS HER TREMENDOUS APPETITE

ARE UTTERLY BOTTOMLESS.

[ SNIFFING ]

HUH? NO!

BESSY'S TRIPPIN' IF SHE THINKS SHE'S EATING MY BEATS.

[ MOOS ]

NOT MY TRASHY D RUG, YO!

NOT MY COMPUTER!

GIVE ME THAT!

[ GRUNTING ] -[ MOOS ]

I GOT YOU, SETH!

SAFE!

UGH!

SHE'S EATING ALL MY VALUABLE BELONGINGS!

PLEASE DO SOMETHING, UNCLE GRANDPA!

DON'T YOU WORRY.

COME NOW, OLD GIRL.

YOU DON'T WANT THAT HORRID GARBAGE.

HAVE SOME OF THIS DELICIOUS HAY INSTEAD.

SEE?

MMM!

SO GOOD.

IT JUST GOES TO SHOW

THAT A LITTLE GENTLE UNDERSTANDING GOES A LONG WAY.

WHY, YOU FILTHY, THIEVING ANIMAL!

[ SNORTS ]

[ MOOS ]

OH, NO! SHE'S EATING EVERYTHING NOW!

SHE MUST BE ON A FEEDING FRENZY.

HEY, GET BACK HERE!

NOT THE FAMILY PHOTOS!

NOT THE BIG-SCREEN TV!

NOT MY MOM'S PEARL NECKLACE!

NOT MY DAD'S $4,000 ITALIAN WOOL SUIT!

NOT MY SISTER'S COLLECTION OF VINTAGE ADDING MACHINES!

NOT THE KIDNEY-SHAPED SWIMMING POOL!

BESSY, STOP!

[ CHOMPING ]

[ SLURPING ]

[ MOOS ]

SHE'S EATEN EVERYTHING.

WELL, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE, SETH --

AT LEAST YOUR ROOM IS CLEAN.

SAY, WHERE IS YOUR ROOM ANYWAY?

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

THERE IS NO ROOM, NO PARENTS -- NO NOTHING.

YOU KNOW, YOU MAY BE ONTO SOMETHING.

LOOKS LIKE OL' BESSY GOBBLED UP THE WHOLE UNIVERSE.

THE WHOLE UNIVERSE?!

OH! WE TOTALLY BLEW IT, UNCLE GRANDPA.

HEY, DON'T FRET, LITTLE SETH.

YOU STILL HAVE YOUR BEAT POD.

AND I DO REMEMBER A CERTAIN SOMEONE

SAYING THAT THIS IS ALL HE CARED ABOUT.

BESIDES, THAT TRASHY D ALWAYS PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE.

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP♪

OH, EXCUSE ME, THERE, OL' BESS.

SETH HERE IS PRETTY UPSET.

SO IF YOU COULD JUST STEP ASIDE, THAT WOULD BE SUPER.

[ SCREAMING ]

YOU CAN'T EAT YOUR UNCLE GRANDPA!

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP ♪

♪ THROW YOUR TRASH UP ♪

SETH! GIVE ME A HAND, DUDE!

SETH!

[ WHISTLES, MOOS ]

SETH!

YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME, BUDDY!

OL' BESS IS SWALLOWING ME UP!

SETH!

UNCLE GRANDPA! [ GRUNTING ]

I THINK SHE'S AFFECTED BY TRASHY D.

SHE CAN'T TAKE HIS FILTHY SICK BEATS.

TRY CRANKING IT UP.

OKAY, YO.

[ VOLUME INCREASES ]

[ MOOS, BELL CLANGS ]

ATTABOY!

NOW, GIVE HER A BASS BOOST.

[ MOOING ]

THAT'S IT! NOW LET GO, SETH.

LET GO OF TRASHY D.

[ GRUNTS ] GOODBYE, TRASHY D!

[ MOOING ]

♪♪

WOW. ISN'T IT STRANGE HOW TRASHY D

ENDED UP HELPING YOU CLEAN YOUR ROOM IN THE END?

TOO BAD YOUR BEAT POD HAD TO BITE THE DUST.

THAT'S OKAY.

AT LEAST EVERYTHING'S BACK TO NORMAL.

WOW!

YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB AT CLEANING YOUR ROOM, SETH.

THANKS. BUT I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT UNCLE GRANDPA.

UNCLE GRANDPA!

WHO KNEW HE WAS SO NEAT AND TIDY?

PEOPLE TELL ME I CLEAN UP REAL NICE.

HEY, SETH'S MOM, LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A LITTLE DIRT

ON YOUR CHEEK THERE. LET ME GET IT FOR YOU.

-WAIT. THAT'S A FRECKLE. -HOLD STILL. I GOT THIS.

NO, REALLY, IT'S PART OF MY FACE.

COME ON, SETH'S MOM, LET ME GET IT! COME ON! OH, STOP! OH!

AHH! THAT'S THE STUFF.

[ COUGHING ]

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

THIS THING HAS GOT TO GO!

MR. GUS, STOP!

THIS IS MY SPECIAL MAN LAMP.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT.

THAT THING'S BEEN NOTHING BUT A NUISANCE FOR YEARS.

[ GASPS ] HOW DARE YOU CALL HIM NAMES!

YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW

HOW MAN LAMP CAME TO BE A MEMBER OF THIS HOUSEHOLD.

NO, BUT I DO KNOW THERE'S NO ME GETTING OUT OF HEARING IT,

SO GO ON.

IT ALL STARTED BACK IN THE SUMMER OF 1987

AT THE MONSTERZ OF MEATHEAD STRENGTH COMPETITION.

IT WAS AN IMPRESSIVE DISPLAY OF THE BURLIEST, HEARTIEST,

MEANEST, AND MANGIEST STUDS EVER TO WALK THE PLANET EARTH.

OH, AND MY GOOD FRIEND, CRISPIN.

[ GRUNTING ]

ALTHOUGH HE NEVER WON ANYTHING, HE HAD A LOT OF HEART,

AND I WAS HIS BIGGEST, PROUDEST FAN.

GO, CRISPIN! WHOO-HOO!

YEAH, COME ON, BUDDY! YOU CAN DO IT!

[ GRUNTING ]

NICE TRY, CRISPIN!

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, BUDDY!

HEY, THANKS, UNCLE GRANDPA.

WELL, WELL. WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M HUNGRY!

LET'S PUT SOME SALT ON HIM AND CALL IT A DAY!

[ LAUGHTER ]

A SHRIMP AND CHIPS SOUND REAL GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TALKING TO CRISPIN LIKE THAT!

HEY, THE ZOO CALLED!

THE ZEBRA WANTS HIS SKIN BACK!

[ LAUGHTER ]

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH!

I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO INSULT MY FASHION SENSE

OR CRISPIN ANY LONGER.

UNCLE GRANDPA, STOP!

FEEL MY WRATH!

[ SCREAMS ]

SO MUCH PAIN!

[ ALL GASP ]

WHO LEAVES A RAT TRAP ON A STAGE, ANYWAY?!

I CAN'T LOOK!

CRISPIN, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!

I DON'T KNOW, UNCLE GRANDPA.

DO YOU THINK I'M STRONG ENOUGH?

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AS MUCH AS I BELIEVE IN YOU, CRISPIN.

NOW, HURRY. I THINK MY TOE'S ABOUT TO POP OFF.

[ GRUNTING ]

[ GROANING ]

[ ALL GASP ]

AND, FINALLY, THE ONLY TROPHY THAT REALLY MATTERS --

FIRST PLACE FOR THE MIGHTIEST MEATHEAD GOES TO...

CRISPIN MULCAHY.

I DON'T DESERVE THIS AWARD.

THE REAL WINNER HERE IS THAT BIG GUY OVER THERE.

COOL. THE DOCTOR SAID THERE'S A 17% CHANCE

IT WILL BE FUNCTIONAL AGAIN, TOO.

AS THANKS FOR YOUR SELFLESS BRAVERY

IN THE FACE OF PERIL TO DEFEND OUR FRIENDSHIP,

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU YOUR OWN TROPHY IN THE FORM OF...

ME!

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, CRISPIN?

SURE I'M SURE.

THIS STRONGMAN STUFF IS OLD HAT.

NOW, BEING AN ORNAMENTAL MANTELPIECE,

THAT IS WHERE IT'S AT.

GOLD ME, UNCLE G.

HUH?

WHOA!

SO THAT'S HOW MY MAIN MAN MAN LAMP CAME TO BE.

OH, AND I DECIDED TO DECK HIM OUT WITH THIS NIGHTSHADE

TO GO WITH THE RV's RIGHTEOUS FêNG SHUI.

[ SNORING ]

OH, MAN!

CAN YOU BELIEVE MR. GUS FALLING ASLEEP, CRISPIN?

CRISPIN?

[ SNORING ]

OH, DOUBLE WHAMMY.