Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

♪♪

[ BIRDS SQUAWKING ]

HEY, UNCLE G.

PIZZA STEVE! WHAT YA GOT HERE, BUDDY?

IT'S ITALIAN GELATO.

COOL-GUY FOOD. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

Mr. Gus: THAT'S RIGHT, GIRL.

WELL, OKAY. WHY DON'T WE GET TOGETHER THEN?

WHAT IS THIS?!

[ STRETCH! POP! ]

7:00 SATURDAY NIGHT?

CAN'T WAIT.

OKAY, SEE YOU SOON, GIRL.

WHO WAS THAT, YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

NAH, I WAS SPEAKING WITH MY MASSEUSE, ROLANDA.

SEE, ROLANDA HAS A WAY OF MAKING THESE OLD DINOSAUR BONES FEEL --

WELL, I GOT A GIRLFRIEND.

SO THAT'S PRETTY AWESOME.

[ SIGHS ]

MM-HMM.

BUT HER NAME ISN'T ROLANDA, LIKE YOUR LAME GIRLFRIEND.

MY GIRLFRIEND'S NAME IS, UH, PIZZA EVE!

IF YOU SAY SO.

BUT I CALL HER MY G.F., WHICH STANDS FOR GIRLFRIEND.

[ SLOOP! ]

OH, AND DID I MENTION SHE'S A MILLIONAIRE?

[ CHUCKLES ] [ SPITS ]

ALL RIGHT, I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.

IF YOU REALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND,

WHY NOT INVITE HER OVER FOR DINNER?

OKAY, SURE, FINE.

I'LL PENCIL IT IN NEXT YEAR SOMETIME.

-HOW ABOUT TONIGHT? -TONIGHT?

UNLESS OF COURSE YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

UH...

COME ON, UNCLE GRANDPA WILL EVEN COOK.

I'LL MAKE EGGS!

IT'S ALL SETTLED THEN.

DINNER AT 5:00 SHARP.

BRING YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

Pizza Steve: SO, YOU WANT TO MEET MY GIRLFRIEND, HUH, MR. GUS?

♪♪

[ STRETCH! POP! ]

I'LL SHOW YOU I'VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND!

[ STRETCH! SNAP! ]

♪♪

WHAT!? OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NAH.

THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ME -- PIZZA STEVE'S

AWESOME GIRLFRIEND, PIZZA EVE!

[ GASP ]

WELL, HELLO, PIZZA EVE.

WON'T YOU COME IN AND JOIN US FOR DINNER?

ACTUALLY, I CAN'T.

I LEFT MY JET SKIS DOUBLE PARKED

IN A NO JET-SKI ZONE, SO I CAN'T STAY.

OH, NO, I INSIST.

EGGS!

UNCLE GRANDPA, COME MEET PIZZA STEVE'S GIRLFRIEND.

[ STRETCH! ]

GOOD MO-MO-MO-MOOOOOOOOOORNING!

UH, UNCLE GRANDPA, YOU FEELING OKAY?

I DON'T KNOW, MR. GUS.

I SUDDENLY HAVE A DESIRE TO MARRY PIZZA EVE,

BUY A HOUSE, AND START A FAMILY!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME, MR. GUS?!

[ SOBBING ] [ LAUGHS ]

YOU'RE IN LOVE!

-LOVE? -LOVE?

OH, NO WAY.

I'M PIZZA STEVE'S GIRLFRIEND,

AND YOU CAN'T DATE ANOTHER MAN'S GIRL.

RIGHT, MR. GUS!

MR. GUS?

NOW, USUALLY I'D SAY IT'S NOT COOL

TO STEAL ANOTHER MAN'S LADY,

BUT IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION, I'D SAY,

"THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS."

AND I CANNOT DENY MY HEART!

WILL YOU MARRY ME, PIZZA EVE?

WHAT? [ SCREAMS ] [ SMOOCHES ]

COME, MY LOVE!

MR. GUS, HELP!

THESE ARE SOME GOOD EGGS, UNCLE GRANDPA.

CAN'T TALK, GETTING MARRIED.

[ POP! ]

WANT TO HOLD HANDS? -NO!

[ WHOOSH! ]

[ PANTING, GASPS ]

I PAINT WHAT I SEE.

[ PANTING, GROANS ]

SO, TELL ME SOMETHING, PIZZA EVE,

WHY DO YOU KEEP RUNNING AWAY, GIRL?

WE COULD BE LIVING THE DREAM TOGETHER.

BUT YOU'RE STILL CARRYING A TORCH FOR PIZZA STEVE.

I GOT TO KNOW PIZZA EVE, WHAT'S HE GOT THAT I DON'T GOT?

[ GRUNTS ]

PIZZA STEVE HAS RADICAL PEPPERONI SLICES,

COOL-DUDE SHADES, AND AN AWESOME SPEED CYCLE.

FACE IT, UNCLE G., YOU'LL JUST NEVER BE

AS COOL AS MY MAIN SQUEEZE.

[ SOBBING ]

THOUGH IT HURTS TO HEAR YOU SAY THESE CRUEL WORDS,

I KNOW NOW WHAT I MUST DO.

[ Muffled ] GOOD-BYE, PIZZA EVE.

HONESTLY, I'M SURPRISED HE GAVE UP SO EASILY.

[ ENGINE REVS ]

UNCLE G?! -CALL ME PIZZA GRANDPA.

CHECK OUT THIS AWESOME ATV.

AND THESE ARE MY CUSTOM PEPPERONI SLICES --

COMPLETE WITH LIFE-LIKE PIZZA GREASE.

HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE?

PIZZA STEVE'S ROOM.

BUT THAT'S STEALING.

THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT CAN PIZZA STEVE DO THIS?

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

CAN PIZZA STEVE DO BURNOUTS BACKWARDS

WHILE DRINKING CHOCOLATE MILK?

[ GULPING ] [ TIRES SCREECH ]

[ COUGHS ]

SUN GLASSES, COOL CLOTHES, EXTREME VEHICLES, PEPPERONI?

HE'S BITING MY -- I MEAN -- HE'S BITING PIZZA STEVE'S STYLE.

PIZZA STEVE WILL NOT LET THIS STAND!

NOBODY OUT-PIZZA STEVE'S PIZZA STEVE.

[ GULPING ] WHOO!

SO, HOW WAS THAT, PIZZA EVE?

COOL DUDE ENOUGH FOR YA?

PIZZA EVE? PIZZA EVE?

DON'T PLAY HARD TO GET.

HEY, UNCLE G, INTERESTING LOOK YOU GOT THERE.

WHERE'S PIZZA EVE?

OH, SHE HAD TO GO DEEP INTO THE OCEAN

TO SWIM WITH SOME MAN-EATING SHARKS.

MAN-EATING SHARKS?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SORRY, UNCLE G, PIZZA EVE'S MOVED ON.

THAT'S JUST HOW SHE ROLLS.

SHE CAN'T BE TIED DOWN BY NO MAN.

B-B-BUT -- BUT SHE MUST BE

SO VULNERABLE OUT THERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA.

EXCUSE ME, UNCLE GRANDPA.

YOU BETTER COME CLEAN, MAN.

THIS LIE ABOUT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND

IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL.

[ LAUGHS ] I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL

UNCLE GRANDPA THE TRUTH, THEN I WILL!

NO, DON'T DO IT! [ MUMBLES ]

UNCLE GRANDPA, PIZZA STEVE'S BEEN --

UNCLE GRANDPA? [ DOOR CREAKS ]

HE'S BOUNCED OUT OF HERE!

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

HE STILL HAS MY PEPPERONI SLICES!

WHAT?! [ WARBLE! ]

BECAUSE UNCLE GRANDPA'S BELIEVED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR LIES,

THAT MEANS HE BELIEVED THE LAST ONE, TOO.

WHICH MEANS, AT THIS VERY MOMENT, HE'S...

Together: ...SWIMMING IN AN OCEAN FULL OF MAN-EATING SHARKS!

PIZZA EVE!

COME BACK TO ME!

[ SOBBING ]

[ NAUTICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

GRANDPA AHOY!

UNCLE G., GET OUT OF THE SHARK-INFESTED WATER!

I'M NOT LEAVING HERE UNTIL I FIND PIZZA EVE.

ALL RIGHT, PIZZA STEVE, TELL HIM.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S REALLY NECESSARY.

TELL HIM OR I'LL THROW YOU IN A SHARK'S MOUTH MYSELF.

FINE, TWIST MY ARM.

LISTEN, UNCLE G., I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

[ GULPS ]

PIZZA EVE IS ME.

PIZZA EVE -- YOU'RE BACK!

NO, UNCLE G.

DON'T YOU GET IT? I'M PIZZA EVE.

PIZZA STEVE, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH PIZZA EVE?

[ SIZZLE! SLAP! ]

[ STRETCH! SNAP! ]

OKAY, ONE MORE TIME --

I'M PIZZA EVE.

[ WHOOSH! ] PIZZA EVE!

ALL RIGHT, LOOK -- IT'S REAL EASY, BRO.

THERE IS NO PIZZA EVE!

I'VE BEEN FOOLING YOU INTO THINKING

I'VE HAD A GIRLFRIEND THIS ENTIRE TIME TO BE COOL.

BUT I'VE LEARNED THAT FRIENDS ARE MORE IMPORTANT

THAN TRYING TO KEEP UP A LIE.

I'VE LEARNED YOU CAN LIE TO YOUR FRIENDS,

YOU CAN LIE TO YOUR HEART,

BUT YOU CAN'T LIE TO YOUR FRIENDS' HEARTS.

AND THAT'S THE END OF MY MONOLOGUE.

[ POP! ]

YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE I'VE EVER LAID EYES ON.

I THINK I'M IN LOVE.

[ SPLASH ]

[ WHISTLING ]

Announcer: LIVE FROM HOLLYWOOD --

THE 224th ANNUAL GRAMPIES WITH YOUR HOST, UNCLE GRANDPA.

GOOD EVENING!

♪ IT'S A WONDERFUL NIGHT FOR A GRAMP -- ♪

[ GRUNTING, GROANING ] [ FEEDBACK ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

YES, IT'S THE GRAMPIE SHOW.

WHOA, LOOK AT THIS SET.

IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,

I'D THINK THAT THERE WAS AN AWARD NAMED AFTER ME.

[ CRICKETS CHIRPING ] [ LAUGHS ]

OH, MAN, WHERE DID THEY GET THIS GUY?

THE ANIMATION INDUSTRY IS A PLACE OF MAGIC,

WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE AND SOULS ARE SOLD.

WITH THAT BEING SAID, OUR FIRST AWARD

FOR BEST ANIMATED SERIES FOR TWEENS GOES TO...

[ DRUM ROLL ]

"UNCLE GRANDPA!"

YEAH! UP HERE!

DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING! [ GRUNTS ]

EXCUSE ME. COMING THROUGH TO GET MY GRAMPIE.

PFFT, WHATEVER.

WOW, I WANT TO THANK THE ANIMATION INDUSTRY.

MOM AND DAD, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU --S

THE REST OF THE NOMINEES FOR NOT WINNING.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

THE NEXT AWARD EMBODIES ALL

THAT WE IN THE INDUSTRY STRIVE TO ACHIEVE.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE AWARD

FOR BEST FEEL-GOOD FANTASY ADVENTURE SERIES

WITH A FURRY, YELLOW COMPANION.

AND THE WINNER IS... [ DRUM ROLL ]

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? "UNCLE GRANDPA!"

WHOA, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

THIS IS BUNK!

LET'S SAVE THIS MOMENT FOR POSTERITY!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WOW, ANOTHER AWARD.

THIS IS UNEXPECTEDLY AMAZING.

YOU SAID IT, UNCLE ME.

I WANT TO THANK THE ANIMATION GUILD,

AND EVERYONE WHO VOTED FOR ME TO GET THIS A SECOND TIME.

I DIDN'T EVEN THINK I WAS NOMINATED FOR THIS CATEGORY.

UP NEXT, THE AWARD

FOR BEST "STEVEN UNIVERSE" EPISODE GOES TO...

[ DRUM ROLL ]

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT -- "UNCLE GRANDPA!"

AW, I WANTED THAT AWARD.

THIS NEVER GETS OLD.

I GUESS THREE IS THE MAGIC NUMBER.

AND TO SUM UP, I'D LIKE TO THANK THE TELEVISION ACADEMY

FOR THIS CLEAN SWEEP OF THE AWARDS TONIGHT.

[ SNORING ] I CAN'T BELIEVE MY LUCK!

AND THE LAST AWARD OF THE EVENING,

THE AWARD FOR BEST CARTOON IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD,

GOES TO... [ DRUM ROLL ]

YES, "UNCLE GRANDPA!"

OH, YEAH!

ANOTHER!

HEY, LITTLE BUDDY, WANT TO JOIN YOUR FRIENDS?

I DON'T EVEN WANT THIS TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.

THESE THINGS ARE GETTING HEAVY.

WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE? [ DING! ]

OH, WAIT, THIS JUST IN. [ DRUM ROLL ]

NONE OF YOU OTHER GUYS ARE GETTING A PICK UP NEXT SEASON.

All: YEAH!

IN CLOSING, I WANT TO THANK

ALL THE LOYAL FANS OUT THERE AROUND THE WORLD,

THE VOTERS, THE NON-VOTERS, THE WONDERFUL AUDIENCE MEMBERS.

THIS IS TRULY THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

AND I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THAT BIG GUY IN THE BACK!

♪♪

THAT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS.

♪♪