Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

Pizza Steve: CAPTAIN'S LOG -- IT'S DAY 42 OF THE YEAR 3021,

AND THE S.S. PERPETUAL PERSISTENCE

CONTINUES TO HURDLE THROUGH SPACE.

AS LEADER OF THIS SHIP, I MUST REMAIN STRONG.

QUIT PRETENDING YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN

AND START FOCUSING ON THE MISSION AT HAND.

HEY, AS LONG AS MY CHAIR IS FRONT AND CENTER

OF THIS RECREATIONAL SPACE VEHICLE,

I'LL BE CAPTAINEERING THIS MISSION.

"CAPTAINEERING" ISN'T A REAL WORD.

AND I'LL BET YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT OUR MISSION IS.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T.

BUT THAT'S WHAT THE UG3000 MOTHERBOARD IS FOR.

-AIN'T THAT RIGHT, UG3K? -YEAH.

PERHAPS YOU CAN REFRESH PRIVATE GUS' MEMORY

ABOUT WHAT OUR MISSION IS AGAIN.

NO PROBLEMO.

WE'RE HEADED TOWARD PLANET COMBUSTION

TO COLLECT SPECIMENS OF LIFE

BEFORE THE PLANET'S NUCLEAR CORE

HAS A FUSION REACTION AND EXPLODES,

RENDERING EVERYTHING IN ITS ORBIT AS SPACE DUST.

SPACE DUST?!

HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TILL THE PLANET BLOWS?

IT'S AN UNSTABLE PLANET THAT CAN BLOW AT ANY MINUTE,

SO YOU GOT TO BE QUICK.

YIKES. YOU CATCH ALL THAT, PRIVATE GUS?

AS YOUR CAPTAIN, I ORDER YOU TO LAND THIS SHIP.

FINE, BUT NOT 'CAUSE YOU ORDERED ME.

BUT BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CARRY THE SPACE ANCHOR.

[ SHIP SCREECHES ]

I COULD CARRY THE SPACE ANCHOR,

BUT AS CAPTAIN, I GOT TO CARRY THE MISSION.

NOW STEP INTO THE TELEPORTER SO I CAN BEAM YOU DOWN TO THE PLANET.

FINE, BUT NOT 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN,

BUT BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE QUALIFIED TO COMPLETE THE --

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

[ WARBLING ]

HEY, PIZZA STEVE!

YOU FORGOT TO BEAM DOWN MY UNIFORM.

What are you forgetting? [ SIGHS ]

YOU FORGOT TO BEAM DOWN MY UNIFORM,

CAPTAINPIZZA STEVE.

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

CAPTAIN PIZZA STEVE, ARE YOU SURE

HE DOESN'T NEED A PARTNER TO ASSIST HIM

ON SUCH A DANGEROUS FOREIGN PLANET?

I GUESS YOU GOT A POINT.

DOWN YOU GO.

AAH! [ GRUNTS ]

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

LET'S GO LOOK FOR SOME LIFE FORMS.

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN TO ME.

[ BEEP, AIR HISSES ]

[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]

DOESN'T SEEM TO BE MUCH LIFE ON THIS PLANET.

THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE WEIRDEST THING I'VE SEEN ALL DAY.

I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND ANYTHING.

MAYBE YOU CAN SCAN FOR LIFE FORMS.

[ SNIFFING ]

[ PINGS ] THERE'S SOMETHING OVER THERE!

UH, I DON'T KNOW.

THAT THING LOOKS KIND OF DANGEROUS.

HOW ABOUT THAT ONE OVER THERE?

OH, YEAH. THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

ACCORDING TO MY FILES, IT'S CALLED A DONTPEEKIE PLANT.

WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE IT'S CALLED THAT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, MAYBE JUST ONE LITTLE PEEK.

MM.

THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE TO WRITE HOME ABOUT.

[ Muffled ] HEY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

LET GO!

WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?

WHAT THE? [ GRUNTS ]

[ STRETCH! GLOOP! ]

WHAT DO YOU KNOW -- THAT DOESN'T LOOK HALF BAD DOWN THERE.

S.S.P.P., GET ME OUT OF HERE PRONTO!

[ WARBLING ]

WHAT IS THAT?!

I BELIEVE THIS IS THE LIFE FORM THE MISSION REQUESTED.

NO, I MEAN WHAT'S THE IDEA

OF WEARING THAT COLOR RED WITH THAT COLOR GREEN.

TACKY!

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU GET IT OFF.

COME BACK HERE!

HAVE YOU TRIED THE ZIPPER?

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A --

[ GASPING, COUGHING ]

WHATEVER IT IS, IT SEEMS TO BE CHOKING.

[ ROARS ]

AWW, HE'S ADORABLE.

OKAY, THAT'S DISGUSTING.

IT'S GETTING AWAY.

PHEW, IT CAN'T GET THROUGH THE DOOR.

[ SIZZLING ]

THAT THING TOOK MY LUCKY RABBIT'S FOOT!

DON'T YOU MEAN THE KEY TO THE SHIP?

THE KEY THAT WE NEED TO GET AWAY

FROM THIS PLANET THAT'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE.

YEAH, YEAH, THAT TOO.

WHOA, WHERE AM I?

THE LAST THING I REMEMBER, I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS

PEEKING IN KEY HOLES WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,

EVERYTHING WENT BLACK.

THEN I WOKE UP TIED AROUND YOUR AMPLE WAIST.

HEY, FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

YOU'RE ON THE S.S. PERPETUAL PERSISTENCE.

YEAH, AND YOU'VE BEEN COUGHING UP ALIENS ALL OVER MY SHIP.

[ RUMBLING ]

WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT.

WE NEED TO GET THAT KEY PRONTO!

LOOK. THE ALIEN LEFT A TRAIL OF RAINBOW COLORED GOO.

LET'S FOLLOW IT AND SQUASH THAT LITTLE BOOGER.

AFTER YOU.

LOOK, IT'S IN THE HOT DOG RESERVES LOCKER.

Pizza Steve: THAT LITTLE CREEP ATE ALL THE HOT DOGS!

NOW HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET OUR VITAL

DAILY NITRATES AND ESSENTIAL BUG PARTS?

IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THAT.

IT ALSO DRANK ALL OF THE ORANGE SODA.

THE FIEND.

OH, HEY, I DIDN'T SEE YOU STANDING THERE.

YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO SEE A TINY, LITTLE ALIEN

RUNNING AROUND HERE, DID YOU?

UM, I THINK THAT IS THE ALIEN.

OH, IN THAT CASE -- [ ALL SCREAM ]

HEY, LOOK. THE KEYS ARE ON ITS TAIL.

Together: HUH? HUH? [ ROARS HAPPILY ]

[ PANTING ]

NOT EXACTLY THE BRIGHTEST BULB IN THE BOX.

WELL, THAT STINKS.

NOW HOW ARE WE GONNA GET THAT KEY BACK?

OH, NO, WE'RE DOOMED! ALL IS LOST!

[ ROARS ] WHERE'S SHE GOING?

TIGER, WAIT!

THERE'S ROOM FOR ALL OF US IN THERE.

DANG IT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?

NOW WE DEFINITELY HAVE TO GET THAT KEY BACK.

WE NEED A PLAN.

HMM. WE'RE ALL HIGHLY INTELLIGENT SPACE EXPLORERS.

WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO THINK OF SOMETHING.

-OH, HELP US, UG3000! -HELP US, UG3000!

YIPPEE! THAT'S WHAT I WAS PROGRAMMED FOR.

THAT UGLIEN IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.

WE NEED TO LURE IT TO US, GRAB IT, GRAB THE KEY,

THEN THROW THAT MONSTER IN THE AIR LOCK

AND BLAST IT INTO SPACE.

THEN WE NEED TO GET THE MOTHER-LOVING FLEEBUS

OUT OF HERE JUST SECONDS BEFORE THE PLANET EXPLODES.

HOW ARE WE GONNA LURE IT?

IT ALREADY ATE ALL THE HOT DOGS.

THERE'S NO FOOD LEFT ON THE SHIP.

THERE IS ONE PIECE OF FOOD LEFT.

OH, MAN.

IT AIN'T EASY BEING GREASY.

AND MR. GUS, YOU CAN WEAR THE SHIP'S ROBO-SUIT IN A CAN.

AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIT IN THERE?

PUSH THAT BUTTON ON ITS BELLY.

EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME.

CAPTAIN STEVE, FRESH AND SO VERY IRRESISTIBLE.

HERE I GO. WISH ME LUCK.

OKAY, IT'S RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR!

[ ROARING ]

[ SHRIEKS ]

YES! MR. GUS, I GOT THE KEY!

[ GUN COCKS ]

AAH!

[ GROANS ]

GOOD JOB, MR. GUS. WE GOT THE KEYS!

LET ME OUT OF HERE!

[ ROARS ] OPEN THE DOOR!

HOW NOBLE OF HIM --

SACRIFICING HIMSELF SO WE CAN LIVE.

NO! OPEN THIS DOOR!

YOU HEARD THE MAN. OPEN THE OUTER DOOR.

AYE-AYE, CAPTAIN. [ BEEP ]

[ CREAKING ]

[ ALARM BLARING ] QUICK, HOIST THE ANCHOR!

DARN IT! WHY WON'T IT FIT?

OOPS, SILLY ME.

WRONG KEY. IT'S THIS ONE.

[ EXPLOSION ]

AAH!

PHEW. AHH! [ EXPLOSION ]

NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ] HUH? COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

TRY PUMPING THE GAS.

HERE, LET ME TRY.

HANDS OFF! I'M THE CAPTAIN.

I'LL DO IT. [ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] Together: YEAH!

WE'RE ALIVE! [ EXPLOSION ]

MAN, I'M GLAD I GOT OUT OF THERE WHEN I DID.

MMM, CAT FOOD. [ GULPS ]

[ STRETCH! ]

IMPRESSIVE.

Man: GOOD AFTERNOON, SPORTS FANS.

TODAY'S FOOTBALL GAME PROMISES TO BE ONE FOR THE BOOKS

AS THE HORNS TAKE ON THE BOLTS

IN THE MOST ANTICIPATED GAME OF THE SEASON.

MMMUH!

THERE'S ONLY ONE GAME TO WATCH THIS FOOTBALL SEASON, IT'S --

HUH? HEY, FRANKENSTEIN, I HAVE AN IDEA.

INSTEAD OF WATCHING SOME BORING FOOTBALL GAME ON TV,

HOW ABOUT WE PLAY SOME BORING FOOTBALL GAME

RIGHT HERE IN THE RV? MRUH?

DID SOMEBODY SAY FOOTBALL?

YES.

WELL, COUNT THIS SLICE IN.

I'M GAME FOR SOME FOOTBALL, TOO.

I USED TO BE ALL VALLEY BACK IN MY DAY.

MYYUHH. ALL RIGHT!

WELL, WE JUST NEED A FOOTBALL, THEN.

UH, YEAH, I GOT ONE RIGHT HERE.

THAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE A FOOTBALL, MR. GUS.

HEY, FRANKIE, YOU MIND IF WE BORROW THIS?

AAH! TA-DA!

OUR FOOTBALL.

MUH!

I THINK WHAT MONSTER GUY HERE IS TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT FOOTBALLS USUALLY HAVE LACES ON THEM.

YOU'RE RIGHT, PIZZA STEVE.

AAH!

THERE WE GO.

NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

I'LL BE THE QUARTERBACK FOR TEAM BIG AND GREEN.

THEN I'LL TAKE TINY MIRACLE...

WHAT'S GOING ON?

...AND GIANT REALISTIC FLYING TIGER.

AND WE'LL BE TEAM RAINBOW POWER.

ALL RIGHT. SO, WHERE ARE THE END ZONES?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT I KNOW WHERE THE TOUCHDOWN AREAS ARE.

YOU GUYS TRY TO GET THE BALL THROUGH THIS END,

AND WE'LL TRY TO GET THE BALL THROUGH THIS END.

THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT ARE WE PLAYING FOR HERE?

HOW ABOUT THE WINNER GETS

THE SUPER BOWL OF NACHOS FRANKENSTEIN MADE?

AAH! SUPER BOWL!

I LIKE IT.

WE'LL GO FIRST SINCE I CALLED IT.

ACTUALLY, THERE'S GENERALLY A COIN TOSS TO DETERMINE WHO --

LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT I WANT TO WIN THAT SUPER BOWL.

NOW, LET PIZZA STEVE SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE.

HIKE! OH, YES, FOLKS!

PIZZA STEVE IS TAKING IT ALL THE WAY.

YOU CAN'T STOP THE UNSTOPPABLE!

[ ROARS] HEY!

NICE STEAL, GIRL. I GOT YOU COVERED.

AAH!

AAH! HA!

WHAT THE? HEY!

INTERCEPTION COMPLETE.

TAKE IT ALL THE WAY, TINY MIRACLE!

MUHH. OVER MY GREASY BODY!

[ RIP! ] YAH!

[ BEEPS ] I'M GOING TO DO IT.

WHOA!

HUH? GUESS WE WIN BY FORFEIT.

I'M GONNA GO CLAIM MY NACHO BOWL.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, FRANKIE.

THAT MAY BE THE END OF RV FOOTBALL,

BUT I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO.

AAH!

WE CAN PLAY HANDBALL!

THAT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS.