Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ "POP GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYING]

[ SPROING! ]

I LOVE TOY STORES.

THERE IT IS!

CHECK IT OUT. LATER, SKATER!

FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE GAME STATION.

IT'S GOT THE MOST INSANE GRAPHICS IN THE GALAXY.

ITS GPU CAN PERFORM 2,000 TERAFLOPS.

ITS PROCESSOR GOES FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.

MM-HMM.

HMM. LOOKS A LITTLE SKETCHY.

MAN, WHAT'S BACK THERE?

WAIT A MINUTE. COULD IT BE?

[ INHALES DEEPLY, BLOWS ]

SURE ENOUGH!

WAIT TILL THE GANG SEES THIS!

THIS IS GONNA CHANGE YOUR LIFE, UNCLE G.

Mr. Gus: WAIT FOR ME!

I FOUND SOMETHING SPECIAL.

REMEMBER JACKS, UNCLE GRANDPA?

Pizza Steve: JACKS?

SERIOUSLY?

WHY NOT JUST PLAY A GAME WITH SOME OLD GOAT BONES AND A ROCK?

HUH? [ SCANNER BEEPS ]

WHOA! HEY!

AND NOW FOR THE UNVEILING

OF PIZZA STEVE'S TOP-TIER GAMING EXPERIENCE.

OH, MAN! THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!

JUST...GOT TO... GET THIS...OPEN...

WELL, [SIGHS] YOU GUYS HAVE FUN.

I'M GONNA GO PLAY JACKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN IF YOU LIKE.

HA!

NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN THAT LOSER GAME.

[ Straining ] IT'S NOTHING...COMPARED TO...

THIS AMAZING GAME STATION.

[ MR. GUS LAUGHS ]

JUST LIKE OLD TIMES. [ CHUCKLES ]

[ TWINKLE! ]

[ SMACK! ]

ARE YOU READY TO HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN AWAY

BY THESE AWESOME GRAPHICS THAT ARE PART

OF THE GAME STATION DELUXE ULTRA 360 EDITION?!

HECK YEAH, PIZZA STEVE!

WELL, YOU JUST SIT BACK AND STRAP IN,

'CAUSE PIZZA STEVE IS ABOUT TO PLUG US INTO

A WORLD OF TECHNOLOGICAL INSANITY.

JUST GIVE ME A SEC TO SORT THESE CABLES OUT.

[ PIZZA STEVE GRUNTS ]

THERE YOU ARE.

NOW TO FIND THE CORRESPONDING OUTLETS

IN THE BACK OF OUR OBSOLETE.

[ Thinking ] GEE, THIS SURE IS TAKING LONG.

[ MR. GUS LAUGHS ]

IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS, I'LL TELL YOU!

ALL RIGHT!

THE GAME STATION IS OFFICIALLY HOOKED UP!

[ BEEPS ] GAME STATION!

OHH, YEAH.

LET THE GAMING BEGIN.

OH, MAN, OH, MAN, OH, MAN!

[ BEEPING ]

HUH? WHAT'S GOING ON, PIZZA STEVE?

CHILL, U.G.

IT'S ALL PART OF THE GAMING EXPERIENCE.

THE SYSTEM'S GOT TO UPDATE

SO WE CAN HAVE THE LATEST UP-TO-DATE GRAPHICS AND STUFF.

[ BEEPS ]

[ SLOOP! ]

WHOO-HOO!

[ SLUMP! ] AW, YEAH!

[ LAUGHING ]

I GOT TWOSIES!

MM-HMM. THAT'S RIGHT.

UNH! YEAH!

[ CHUCKLES ] MM-HMM. THAT'S RIGHT.

[ LAUGHS ]

YES! WHOO-HOO!

[ LAUGHS ]

BE RIGHT BACK, PIZZA STEVE.

HEY, MR. GUS, SO,

THIS IS THE JACKS GAME YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?

YEAH. YOU WANT TO JOIN IN?

Pizza Steve: UNCLE G! GET OVER HERE!

WE GOT HOSTAGES TO RESCUE!

SORRY, MR. GUS.

GOT TO GO PLAY WITH PIZZA STEVE NOW.

[ BEEPS, WARBLES ]

YES! WE CAN FINALLY PLAY!

[ BEEPING ]

WHAAAAA?

PIZZA STEVE, HOW LONG IS THIS GONNA TAKE?

BRO, CHILL.

THESE NEW GAMES AREN'T YOUR GRANDMA'S EIGHT-BIT BUSINESS.

THIS LATEST TECHNOLOGY TAKES TIME

TO RENDER ALL THE NEW, HYPER-REALISTIC GAME PLAY.

[ BEEP, BWONG! ]

IT'S GAME TIME, HOMIE!

READY, UNCLE G?

HUH? WHAT THE...?

SEE? YOU ALREADY GOT IT.

THEN YOU TRY TO GO FOR MORE JACKS WITH EACH BOUNCE.

WHOA!

YOU'RE RIGHT, MR. GUS, THIS GAME IS AWESOME.

UNCLE G!

WHAT GIVES, MAN?

I GOT THE GAME STATION ALL LOADED UP.

GAME'S READY.

YOU AIN'T ACTUALLY GONNA PLAY THAT LAME JACKS GAME

WITH MR. GUS WHEN YOU GOT PIZZA STEVE

AND THE GAME STATION WAITING FOR YOU?

ACTUALLY, JACKS IS REALLY FUN,

SO I THINK I'LL PLAY THIS FOR A BIT.

WHAT?

YOU'RE A NATURAL, UNCLE GRANDPA!

I GUESS I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO UP MY GAME.

[ WHOOSH! ]

[ BANG! ]

HOW QUAINT.

OHH, I JUST THINK IT'S ADORABLE

THE WAY YOU GUYS ARE STILL USING "OLD-FASHIONED REALITY."

YEAH, YOU KNOW, WHEN THERE'S, MMMMM, VIRTUAL REALITY!

OH-HO, YOU'LL SEE.

NOTHING VIRTUAL ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN I'M GOING TO HAVE.

OH, I FEEL LIKE I'M INTHE GAME!

COME ON, HOSTAGES! I'VE GOT YOU.

YES! YEAH!

MAN, I WISH YOU COULD SEE THESE GRAPHICS, UNCLE G.

THEY'RE INSANE!

BACK, YOU EVILDOERS! BACK, I SAY!

GOT TO STAY LOW, AVOID THE SNIPERS.

UNCLE G, YOU'VE GOT TO TRY THIS.

YAH!

COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

[ GLASS SHATTERS ] AAH! A DIRECT HIT! AAH!

YAH! GOTCHA!

ROUND HOUSE!

[ Slurring ] SO, YOU READY TO RESCUE SOME HOSTAGES, UNCLE G?

UH, MAYBE LATER, PIZZA STEVE.

LOOK! I GOT FIVESIES!

[ SQUISH! ] I BETTER UP MY GAME.

[ WHOOSH! ]

HEY, UNCLE G, I BET YOU'RE WONDERING

WHAT'S INSIDE THIS LARGE, EXPENSIVE BOX.

FEAST YOUR EYES ON DANCE REBELLION!

[ SHING! ] DANCE REBELLION!

LET ME DEMONSTRATE THE VAST SUPERIORITY OF MY GAME

OVER THAT OUTDATED TIDDLYWINKS.

[ BEEP ]

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]

SMOOTH MOVES!

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, UNCLE G,

BUT I'M HAVING A BLAST OVER HERE.

WHERE'D YOU LEARN THOSE HOT STYLES? [ BOTH LAUGHING ]

LEVEL TWO! GETTIN' CRAZY!

OH! AH!

POWER MOVE! STEP UP TO THIS!

[ BOTH LAUGHING ] [ GRUNTS ]

[ SQUEAK! ] [ SIGHS ]

[ BEEPING ] LEVEL FIVE!

SEE IF YOU CAN STAY ALIVE!

POP AND LOCK ON THE WEST COAST!

FAST FEET BONUS!

[ PANTING ] [ BOTH LAUGHING ]

SHAKE AND SHIMMY! [ PANTING ]

FANCY FROLIC!

TWOSIES AGAIN! AWESOME!

ORDER SOME NEW HARDWOOD!

WAIT A SECOND, MR. GUS.

LOOK CLOSELY BELOW.

AWESOME SCORE!

YEP, UNCLE G, [CHUCKLES] I KNEW YOU'D COME AROUND

TO WHAT PIZZA STEVE HAS TO OFFER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T SEE IT BEFORE.

I GOT SEVEN JACKS, NOT SIX.

SEVENSIES!

[ WHISTLE, BOOM! ]

[ GRUNTS ]

WELL, PIZZA STEVE, I GUESS YOU AND YOUR AWESOME GAMES

ARE NOT AS COOL AS JACKS.

JUST LOOK AT THEM,

ENJOYING QUALITY TIME TOGETHER OVER A STUPID GAME.

THAT DUMB GAME HAS RUINED MY LIFE!

[ GLUG! GLUG! ]

[ BELCH! ]

IT'S TIME TO CONFRONT THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.

[ GRUNTS ]

NICE ONE, MR. GUS.

OKAY, MY TURN.

CAN YOU HOLD ON A SEC, UNCLE G?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SEE IN THIS DUMB GAME,

BUT ALL I EVER REALLY WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO TELL ME

HOW AWESOME PIZZA STEVE'S GAME STATION WAS.

BUT I GUESS YOU DON'T THINK PIZZA STEVE

AND HIS AWESOME TASTE IN GAMING CONSOLES IS COOL ANYMORE.

[ Voice breaking ] I JUST...

I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP TO THIS JACKS.

[ SOBS ]

AND I HOPE THAT ONE DAY, YOU'LL STOP PLAYING

AND REMEMBER THAT PIZZA STEVE IS COOLER THAN THIS DUMB GAME.

THAT'S ALL.

WHAT'S THAT?

DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, PIZZA STEVE?

YOU MEAN YOU WEREN'T EVEN LISTENING TO ME?

THAT'S IT! I HATE THAT STUPID JACKS!

WHOA.

WHOA, WHAT GAME IS THAT?!

WHAT?

I WANT TO PLAY! I WANT TO PLAY!

[ CHUCKLES ] YOUR TURN, PIZZA STEVE.

HUH?

KICK IT BACK, PIZZA STEVE!

OH, YEAH!

PIZZA STEVE IS THE BEST AT THIS GAME

THAT PIZZA STEVE JUST INVENTED!

TOTALLY, PIZZA STEVE! I LOVE THIS GAME!

WAY BETTER THAN THAT DUMB JACKS GAME.

AM I RIGHT, UNCLE G?

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH! I KNOW!

[ JIGGLE! JIGGLE! JIGGLE! ]

IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?

I LOVE THIS SWEATER.

[ SLOOP! SQUELCH! ]

TODAY'S OATMEAL DAY!

OATMEAL, OATMEAL, OATMEAL, OATMEAL!

I LOVE YOU, OATMEAL.

AW, YEAH!

WHAT'S THAT, BRO? [ PITTER! PITTER! PITTER! ]

TODAY IS OATMEAL DAY.

OATMEAL IS MY MEAL.

DID SOMEONE SAY OATMEAL?

MY FAVE!

LET'S START THIS OATMEAL PARTY.

I'M SAD WITHOUT MY OATMEAL.

[ High-pitched voice ] BUT I'M HAPPY WITH IT!

SAVE ME A SPOONFUL.

A BIG, TASTY SPOONFUL.

OH, YEAH.

OH, YEAH!

OH, YEAH!

[ TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

NOTHING LIKE IT.

♪ THE POWER OF OATMEAL IS A CURIOUS THING ♪

OATMEAL IS THE KEY TO PIZZA STEVE'S ANIMAL MAGNETISM.

I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO TASTE IT.

AAAH! NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!

I GET GRUMPY WHEN I DON'T HAVE MY OATMEAL.

AS DO I.

O-A-T-M-E-A-L. OATMEAL. [ TING! ]

[ SCRATCH! SCRATCH! ]

THREE CHEERS FOR OATMEAL!

[ APPLAUSE ]

I DESIRE OATMEAL.

I'LL MAKE SOME.

OAT-MEAL-AH.

[ ROARS ]

NOT ONION EGGS, GIRL. OATMEAL!

[ WHOOSH! ]

MAN, I COULD REALLY USE SOME OATMEAL RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

BOY, OH, BOY! AIN'T IT THE TRUTH?

BRING ON THE OATMEAL, UNCLE GRANDPA!

[ STRETCH! ]

UNCLE GRANDPA, WE'RE ALL OUT OF OATMEAL!

[ SLOOP! ]

WE'RE ALL OUT OF OATMEAL, GUYS!

LAME.

DARN! DARN!

LET'S GO BACK TO SLEEP.

[ SNORES ] OATMEAL, OATMEAL, OATMEAL.

[ SNORES, FARTS ] OATMEAL...