Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

Girl on TV: ♪ WHERE AM I NOW? ♪

♪ WHAT IS THIS THING? ♪

♪ WHAT AM I DOING? ♪

THIS ANIMATED MUSICAL SURE HAS A LOT PROBLEMS.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

WHO CARES? AS LONG AS THERE'S A HAPPY ENDING.

[ WATCH BEEPS ]

[ ROARS ]

[ GROWLS ]

HUH?

HEY, UNCLE G,

WHY DOES GIANT REALISTIC FLYING TIGER THROW A HAMBURGER

IN THE OCEAN EVERY NIGHT BEFORE MIDNIGHT?

PIZZA STEVE, I'M SURPRISED YOU'VE WAITED 42 YEARS

TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION.

GATHER 'ROUND, AND I'LL TELL YOU

THE UNABRIDGED TALE OF TIGER'S ORIGINS.

[ SNAP! ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING ]

HEY, GIRL!

AREN'T YOU GONNA JOIN THE PARTY?

MR. CRUSTACIOUS,

WHY IS GIANT REALISTIC MERMAID TIGER ALWAYS SO GLOOMY?

IT'S STARTING TO BUM ME OUT.

PACIFIC COD STEVE,

I'M SURPRISED YOU'VE WAITED 42 YEARS TO ASK ME THAT.

IT'S BECAUSE CATS HATE WATER.

BUT SHE'S NOT AN ORDINARY CAT.

SHE'S A MERMAID TIGER.

IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME LAME SEA SNAIL.

[ SIGHS ]

YOU JUST DON'T GET IT.

SHE WISHES SHE WAS A NORMALTIGER --

A TIGER WITH LEGS.

[ EXPLOSION ]

[ ZAP! ]

[ ALL GASP ]

[ POP! ] WHAT DID I JUST HEAR?!

DID SOMEONE SAY "LEGS"?!

I DON'T KNOW, BUBBLE GRANDPA.

THAT'S WHAT IHEARD.

IF THERE'S ONE THING I CAN'T STAND,

IT'S FISH WHO WISH THEY HAD LEGS!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH LIVING UNDER THE WATER?

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE DOWN HERE?

NOW, WHICH ONE OF YOU PATHETIC PARASITES WISHES THEY HAD LEGS?

Just keep your mouth shut.

IT WAS HIM, YOUR HIGHNESS! IT WAS MR. CRUSTACIOUS!

HE SAID IT, NOT ME!

WELL, WELL.

IF IT ISN'T LEG-LOVING LARRY OVER HERE,

MAKING ALL THESE LEG WISHES.

YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU KEPT YOUR SLIMY LITTLE MOUTH SHUT!

[ TWINKLE! ]

[ ROARS ]

SO YOU'RETHE ONE WHO WANTS LEGS?

[ GROWLS ]

HMM.

NOW, NOW. THERE'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.

MAYBE I OVERREACTED A BIT.

TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU WANT A PAIR OF LEGS,

AND I WANT, UH, UH... A HAMBURGER.

I CAN'T GET HAMBURGERS HERE IN THE OCEAN.

THEY ONLY EXIST ON LAND.

BUT IF I GIVE YOU LEGS, THEN YOU CAN GET ME A HAMBURGER.

SOUND FAIR?

[ ROARS ]

WONDERFUL.

JUST NEED YOU TO SIGN THIS LITTLE CONTRACT FIRST.

[ SIZZLE! ]

[ WHIFFLE! ]

EELY BAG WILL HAVE THAT NOTARIZED RIGHT AWAY.

NOW LET'S GET YOU SOME LEGS.

BY THE POWER OF POSEIDON'S PODIATRIST,

I GIVE THEE LEGS!

[ CREAK! ]

[ ROARS ]

NOW, THIS IS WHAT A HAMBURGER LOOKS LIKE.

AND JUST TO BE EXTRA-CLEAR,

IT NEEDS TO BE IN MY MOUTH BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. [ GROWLS ]

OTHERWISE, I'LL TAKE BACK THE LEGS

AND TURN YOU INTO A SEA SNAIL --

THE SCUM OF THE OCEAN.

[ SIGHS ]

[ ROARS ]

BUBBLE GRANDPA, WHERE SHE'S HEADED,

THERE ISN'T A HAMBURGER PLACE FOR MILES.

SHE CAN'T POSSIBLY FIND ONE BEFORE MIDNIGHT.

I'LL LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET, EELY BAG.

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.

I'LL TEACH THAT DUMB TIGER TO WISH FOR LEGS.

[ LAUGHING EVILLY ] OH! NOW I GET IT.

[ BOTH LAUGHING EVILLY ]

WE GOT TO WARN TIGER ABOUT THIS.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ GRUNTING ]

COME ON! STOP SQUIRMING!

[ GRUNTS ]

I WISH THIS DUMB OCTOPUS WOULD HOLD STILL.

UNCLE GRANDPA, WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO MOUNT THIS THING?

LIKE I SAID, BELLY BAG, WHILE THE R.V.'s IN THE SHOP,

I'M GONNA NEED SOMETHING FOR TRANSPORTATION.

I STILL THINK WE SHOULD EXPLORE

[ SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! ] OTHER -- OOH! -- OPTIONS!

YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

[ SQUEALS ] WHAT'S THE USE?

[ CRASH ]

I'VE JUST ALWAYS WANTED

SOMETHING POWERFUL AND MAJESTIC TO RIDE.

UH, WHY IS THERE A TIGER STARING AT US?

HUH?

I'LL TAKE ONE OF THESE.

Who are we hiding from? [ GROWLS ]

ALSO, GOOD MORNING! [ ROARS ]

CAN I HELP YOU?

YOU CAN START BY WEARING SOME DEODORANT.

SORRY FOR GETTING OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT.

MY NAME'S UNCLE GRANDPA.

AND SPEAKING OF FEET, NICE PAIR OF JUMPERS YOU GOT ON YOU.

[ MEOWS ]

SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU AROUND FISHERMAN'S WHARF?

[ SQUISH! ] HMM.

OHHHHH!

IT'S A HAMBURGER!

MMM, MMM. MMM, MMM.

HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!

THIS IS JUST A PICTURE!

[ ROARS ]

YES. VERY GOOD. THAT'S A WATCH.

ACCORDING TO THIS TIGER-TO-ENGLISH TRANSLATOR,

SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS A HAMBURGER BEFORE MIDNIGHT,

OR SHE'LL BE TURNED BACK INTO A MERMAID.

GEEZ. THAT OLD STORY AGAIN.

WELL, I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU, BUT, UNFORTUNATELY,

I DON'T HAVE ANY TRANSPORTATION AT THE MOMENT.

[ GROWLS ]

WOW. I'VE NEVER RIDDEN A GIANT REALISTIC TIGER BEFORE.

YOU'RE A LOT SOFTER THAN THAT SLIMY OCTOPUS.

NOW LET'S FIND YOU A BURGER!

[ ZING! ]

[ WHIFFLE! POP! ]

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE EVER HAD LEGS?

'CAUSE YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO USE 'EM.

[ ROARS, MEOWS ]

I KNOW THE FEELING.

I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME

I GOT THESE RAINBOW SUSPENDERS.

REALLY BOOSTED MY CONFIDENCE.

LOOK OUT FOR THAT MANHOLE!

[ ROARS ]

NOW LOOK OUT FOR THOSE TIRES!

[ ROARS ]

AND THOSE BREAK DANCERS!

[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ] [ ROARS ]

THE ROLLER DISCO!

[ DISCO MUSIC PLAYS ] [ ROARS ]

THE HIMALAYAS!

UNCLE GRANDPA, HOW MANY OBSTACLES

BEFORE WE REACH A BURGER JOINT?

GOOD CALL, BELLY BAG. LET'S STOP HERE.

[ SCREECH! ]

[ ROARS ] [ GRUNTS ]

GOSH, I'VE BEEN HAVING SO MUCH FUN,

I COMPLETELY FORGOT I HAVE MOTION SICKNESS.

EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO BE SICK.

GIANT REALISTIC MERMAID TIGER,

BUBBLE GRANDPA IS SETTING YOU UP!

IT'S TRUE.

THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GONNA FIND A BURGER BEFORE MIDNIGHT.

HE JUST WANTS TO TURN YOU INTO AN UNDERACHIEVING SEA SLUG.

[ RUMBLE! ]

WELL, WELL. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

A COUPLE OF TRAITORS!

IT WAS MR. CRUSTACIOUS' IDEA!

TAKE IT EASY, YOU TREACHEROUS TRILOBITES.

YOU JUST MADE THINGS A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING.

FROM HERE ON OUT,

IF THIS LITTLE MER-TIGER DOESN'T HOLD UP HER END OF THE BARGAIN,

SHE WON'T JUST LOSE HER LEGS.

SHE'LL ALSO LOSE HER DUMB LITTLE FRIENDS.

[ SNARLS ]

NO, NO, NO.

DON'T FORGET -- YOU'RE STILL UNDER CONTRACT.

AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME --

10 MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT.

I SURE AM GETTING HUNGRY.

[ GROWLS ]

OKAY, SO, WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR AGAIN?

[ GROWLS ]

NOW SHE HAS TO RESCUE HER FRIENDS.

KIDNAPPED FRIENDS?!

THE STAKES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER!

COUNT ME IN.

THOSE NEW LAND LEGS OF YOURS

PROBABLY AREN'T VERY GOOD IN THE WATER.

LUCKILY FOR YOU, I'M AN EXCELLENT SWIMMER.

THEY DON'T CALL ME "AQUA GRANDPA" FOR NOTHING.

[ GROWLS ] ACTUALLY, NO ONE CALLS ME THAT.

WELL, WELL.

LOOKS LIKE YOUR FRIEND ISN'T GONNA MAKE IT AFTER ALL.

TIGER STILL HAS TIME.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS,

SOME ANIMATED MUSICAL WITH A HAPPY ENDING?

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

GOOD MORNING!

TIGER! YOU'RE BACK! [ ROARS ]

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS VILLAIN WAS EXTREMELY HANDSOME.

WHO THE SQUID ARE YOU?

WHO AM I? I'LL TELL YOU WHO I AM.

I'M JUST SOME RANDOM GUY WHO DECIDED

TO SPONTANEOUSLY GET INVOLVED IN AN ADVENTURE

WITH SOMEONE I JUST MET.

THAT'S WHO!

WELL, DID YOUR "FRIEND" HERE

TELL YOU ABOUT OUR LITTLE DEAL?

'CAUSE I DON'T SEE ANY HAMBURGERS AROUND.

HEY, THAT'S A SWELL IDEA!

HERE WE GO.

[ GROWLS ]

WELCOME TO UNCLE GRANDPA'S UNDERWATER SOGGY BURGER BUNS.

HOW MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

ONE HAMBURGER. OKELY DOKES.

JUST PULL UP TO THE SECOND WINDOW, PLEASE.

[ GROWLS ]

HERE'S YOUR ORDER, SIR.

ONE HAMBURGER -- JUST IN TIME.

[ GROWLS ]

MNH!

SHE MADE IT!

IN YOUR FACE!

WHAT?! NO, WAIT!

UM, UH, ACTUALLY, I SPECIFICALLY SAID, "NO ONIONS,"

AND THIS HAS ONIONS ON IT, SO IT DOESN'T COUNT.

YOU LOSE ANYWAY.

HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!

NOW, SAY GOODBYE TO THOSE STUPID LEGS.

[ GROWLS ] NOOOOO!

UH! WHAT THE SQUID IS HAPPENING?

OH, GREAT. ALL THAT POTTY TRAINING FOR NOTHING.

DON'T GET TOO USED TO THAT PROVOCATIVE MERMAID BODY,

'CAUSE NOW I'M TURNING YOU INTO A BORING OLD SEA SNAIL.

MERMAIDS, SEA SNAILS -- MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY!

[ ROARS ]

HE'S GAINING ON US! YOU NEED TO SWIM FASTER!

[ GROWLS, SNARLS ]

YOU CAN'T OUT-SWIM ME WITH THOSE LAND LEGS.

HE'S RIGHT!

WAIT A MINUTE. THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA.

[ SNAP! ]

[ GROWLS ] HERE, CHEW ON THIS.

[ CHOMP! ] IT'LL GIVE YOU A BOOST.

[ PBBBBBBT! ]

WHAT THE -- HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?

DOESN'T MATTER. YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR MY POWERS.

OH, MAN! I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE A SEA SNAIL.

THEY'RE THE WORST!

[ GROWLS ]

[ TWINKLE! ]

[ SHOOP! ]

OH, NO!

[ GRUNTS ]

WHAT THE -- HUH?

THIS CAN'T BE!

[ TING! ]

[ CRYING ]

SWEET, SWEET KARMA.

WAY TO GO, TIGER! [ ROARS ]

YOU'RE A BONA FIDE HERO.

AND WITH YOUR NEW RAINBOW ROCKET POWER,

YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO USE THOSE CRUMMY LEGS EVER AGAIN.

I COULD USE SOMEONE LIKE YOU BACK ON LAND.

CARE TO JOIN ME AND MY TEAM OF MISFITS?

[ ROARS ]

[ GROWLS ]

IT'S OKAY, TIGER.

WE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO BE ON LAND WITH YOUR NEW LEGS.

[ ROARS ]

REALLY?

YOU'LL SEND US HAMBURGERS EVERY NIGHT

SO WE'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU?

I MEAN, I DON'T SEE WHAT THAT WOULD SYMBOLIZE,

CONSIDERING IT WAS BUBBLE GRANDPA

THAT ORIGINALLY ASKED FOR THE HAMBURGERS.

BUT SURE. WHY NOT?

IF THERE'S ONE THING I LIKE ABOUT MY UNDERWATER ADVENTURES,

IT'S A HAPPY ENDING.

NOW, LET'S GET OUT OF THIS FILTHY OCEAN!

[ ROARS ]

[ PBBBBBBT! ]

Uncle Grandpa: AND THERE YOU HAVE IT --

GIANT REALISTIC FLYING TIGER'S OFFICIAL ORIGIN STORY.

I DON'T KNOW IF I BUY IT, UNCLE GRANDPA.

THAT STORY SOUNDS MADE-UP.

YEAH.

IF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS TRUE,

THEN HOW COME YOU DON'T HAVE A MERMAID TAIL?

SURE I DO.

YOU GUYS JUST NEVER SEE ME WITH MY PANTS OFF.