Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

OKAY.

IT'S ALL IN THERE.

OH! I KNOW WHAT I'M FORGETTING.

LAUNDRY DETERGENT.

AND SOME CHEMICALS,

SOME BREATH MINTS,

SOME DIET COLA,

AND SOME BLEACH.

YES! I DID IT!

[ SNICKERS ]

WHAT'S SO FUNNY, BELLY BAG?

HERE. WHY DON'T YOU SEE FOR YOURSELF?

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH. THAT IS A PRETTY RIDICULOUS MIRROR.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE MIRROR.

I WAS LAUGHING 'CAUSE YOU GOT WHITE PAINT

ALL OVER YOUR MUSTACHE, SILLY.

OH, YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ]

NO BIG DEAL.

I'LL JUST PUT IT IN WITH THE REST OF THE LAUNDRY.

IT WAS GETTING KIND OF MUSKY ANYWAYS.

JUST BE CAREFUL NOT TO PUT IT IN THAT INDUSTRIAL SHREDDER.

INDUSTRIAL WHAT?

[ BUZZZZ! ]

OH, NO!

OH, DARN IT!

I HATE BEING WITHOUT MY MUSTACHE!

BELLY BAG, CAN YOU GRAB ME A SPARE OUT OF MY MUSTACHE BOX?

SURE.

UH-OH.

ALL YOU HAVE LEFT IS AN EMPTY TUBE OF MUSTACHE CREAM.

WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS FIND A REPLACEMENT

AND HOPE NOBODY NOTICES.

YEAH! AND I KNOW JUST THE THING.

NO, NO. THE MOVE I INVENTED GOES LIKE THIS.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE WALKING ON THE MOON.

I CALL IT THE PIZZA STEVE WALK.

OH, REALLY?

DID YOU ALSO INVENT THE TANGO, AS WELL?

HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S GOING ON?

UH...NOTHING.

JUST... HANGING OUT.

COOL. COOL.

IS THERE SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU TODAY, UNCLE G?

YEAH, SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL QUITE RIGHT.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT.

I RECENTLY HAD MY CHIN DIMPLE CLEANED OUT,

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN. [ SNIFFS ]

AHHH-CHOO!

[ GRUNTS ]

THAT'S WHAT IT IS -- YOUR MUSTACHE IS GONE.

OH, YEAH. NO WONDER YOU LOOK WEIRD.

OKAY, FINE! I'M ALL OUT OF MUSTACHES!

[ CRYING ]

ALL OUT? CAN'T YOU JUST GROW A NEW ONE, LIKE MOST PEOPLE?

I'M NOT MOST PEOPLE, MR. GUS.

[ ROARS ]

I CAN'T JUST GO WITHOUT IT.

THE MUSTACHE REALLY TIES MY FACE TOGETHER.

HMMM. WELL, IF YOU RAN OUT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST RE-SUPPLY?

[ SOBBING ]

OKAY, LET'S GO.

WAIT A MINUTE. SOMETHING DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT HERE.

I KNOW.

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

BETTER, RIGHT?

ACTUALLY, I WAS WONDERING

WHY THE MAP SAYS WE'RE GOING TO A TREE.

BECAUSE WE ARE -- THE ENCHANTED MUSTACHE TREE.

THE ENCHANTED MUSTACHE TREE

JUST LOOKS LIKE A NORMAL TREE TO ME.

THIS ISN'T THE MUSTACHE TREE.

I JUST WANTED TO PARK IN THE SHADE.

THE ENCHANTED MUSTACHE TREE IS OVER THERE --

IN ALL HER MAJESTIC GLORY.

AND IT'S BIGGER THAN I REMEMBER.

NOW, LET ME JUST GRAB THIS MUSTACHE AND...

BACK TO MY OLD MUSTACHIOED SELF AGAIN.

[ WHISTLING ]

WHAT THE --

HEY, BUDDY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!

WHO SAID THAT? DOWN HERE.

THIS ISN'T YOUR TREE TO PICK FROM.

NOW PLACE THAT MUSTACHE BACK WHERE YOU GOT IT,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YA!

OH, UH, GOOD MORNING, ANGRY ELF GUY.

ACTUALLY, IF IT'S FINE BY YOU, I'D REALLY RATHER KEEP IT.

THIS MUSTACHE REALLY TIES MY FACE TOGETHER.

HEY!

LIKE I SAID --

THIS AIN'T YOUR TREE TO PICK FROM!

DON'T LET SOMEONE SMALLER THAN YOU

TELL YOU WHAT TO DO, UNCLE G.

YEAH!

THERE.

I DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO YOU.

HEY! AGAIN!

OKAY, WISE GUY, YOU MAY NOT LISTEN TO ME,BUT...

[ WHISTLES ]

[ ALL GRUMBLING ]

BUT YOU'LL LISTEN TO US!

I WANT MY MUSTACHE!

[ CHOMP! ]

YEEOOWCHIE!

THE MUSTACHE STAYS HERE.

NOW HIT THE ROAD!

FINE. BUT THIS ISN'T OVER.

[ Crying ] IT'S OVER! IT'S ALL OVER!

I FEEL SO NAKED WITHOUT MY MUSTACHE.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TRY PUTTING YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON?

AND THEN WHY DON'T WE JUST TRY TO TAKE THE MUSTACHE

WITHOUT THE ELVES KNOWING IT WAS US?

YEAH! GOOD THINKING, MR. GUS.

OKAY, HERE GOES NOTHIN'.

[ GRUNTING ]

GEEZ. THIS CARROT WON'T BUDGE.

HEY! ELF BROS!

DON'T MIND ME.

JUST GONNA BE CHECKING ON THE OLD MUSTACHE TREE AGAIN.

MAN, I'M TOTALLY SPACING OUT ON THAT GUY'S NAME.

I THINK THAT WAS ERNEST.

OKAY, IT'S STILL THERE. WE'RE TOTALLY GOOD.

WAIT A MINUTE!

THAT'S NOT ERNEST! I'MERNEST!

HEY! HEY!

UNCLE G! THEY TOTALLY BOUGHT IT!

ALL RIGHT, PIZZA STEVE!

GIMME, GIMME.

HOW DO I LOOK?

OOF!

CAN I HELP YOU?

HI.

I'M WITH THE STATE DEPARTMENT

OF UNIQUE TREE PRESERVATION.

I JUST NEED TO FULFILL MY DUTIES

BY INSPECTING THE MUSTACHE-SHAPED TREE

ON THESE PREMISES.

OH, GO AHEAD. IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

MM-HMM.

YEP. JUST AS I SUSPECTED.

I'LL HAVE TO TAKE THIS GUY BACK TO THE LAB TO RUN SOME TESTS.

HANG ON A MINUTE.

WHAT'S THAT ON THE BACK OF YOUR UNIFORM?

OH, THIS? [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

MUST'VE GRABBED THE WRONG UNIFORM BY MISTAKE TODAY.

[ WHACK! ] AAH!

SO, HOW'D IT GO?

ASK HIM.

OKAY, ELVES.

OUR TREE IS OBVIOUSLY BEING SOUGHT AFTER BY OUTSIDERS.

FROM NOW ON, WE MUST KEEP A STRICT WATCHOUT.

ERNEST, YOU ON THAT?

YES, BOSS.

[ PANTING ]

I GOT IT!

I GOT IT!

I'M -- I'M HOLDING AN EARTHWORM, AREN'T I?

YEAH.

HA! YOU CAN'T OUTWIT US OR OUT-DIG US!

SO JUST GIVE UP AND GET LOST!

GOOD JOB, EVERYONE.

THAT TEARS IT!

MAYBE IT'S TIME TO STOOP DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL.

LITERALLY OR FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING?

I'MSPEAKING.

HOO-YA!

AND WITH YOUR HARD WORK,

OUR BELOVED TREE IS SAFE ANOTHER DAY.

[ UNCLE GRANDPA SCREAMING ] HUH?

[ ALL SCREAM ]

OW! OHH!

[ ALL WHIMPER ]

AW, YEAH!

WAY TO GO, UNCLE GRANDPA!

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, U.G.

THANK YOU. Elf: WAIT!

WE NEED THAT MUSTACHE.

IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT'S KEEPING US SAFE.

SAFE? FROM WHAT?

THAT MUSTACHE PROTECTS US FROM A WILD ELF-EATING BEAST

THAT LIVES IN A NEARBY CAVE.

HOW DOES THIS MUSTACHE KEEP YOU FROM GETTING EATEN BY A BEAST?

WELL, ONE NIGHT, YOU SEE,

WE ELVES WERE ENJOYING A VEGETABLE FEAST,

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN... [ ROAR ]

WE HEARD THE BEAST COMING.

SO WE ALL HID UNDER THE TREE. AND WHEN THE BEAST APPROACHED,

IT TOOK A COUPLE OF SNIFFS AND THEN LEFT.

FROM THEN ON, THAT MUSTACHE HAS BECOME OUR SAFE HAVEN.

ITS POWERFUL MUSK HIDES OUR ELF SCENT FROM THE BEAST.

WOW. I GUESS IT ISPRETTY MUSKY.

PLEASE, UNCLE GRANDPA.

IT'S THE ONLY THING KEEPING US ELVES ALIVE.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

YOU KEEP THE MUSTACHE

UNTIL I TAKE CARE OF THAT WILD BEAST FOR YOU.

BUT THEN THAT MUSTACHE IS MINE.

DEAL.

[ GROWLING ]

WELP...[ GULPS ] THAT MUST BE THE CAVE.

HELLO? ELF-EATING BEAST?

ARE YOU HOME?

MAN, CAVES REALLY CREEP ME OUT.

YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN AROUND?

NOT THAT I WANT TO. JUST MAKING SURE YOU KNEW.

YEAH, UNCLE GRANDPA. DO YOU EVEN HAVE A GAME PLAN?

I WAS JUST GONNA WING IT.

UNH!

GIANT BEAST FANGS! RUN!

OOF!

THOSE AREN'T BEAST FANGS.

THEY'RE JUST ROCK FORMATIONS CALLED STALACTITES.

PFFT. I KNOW.

JUST MAKING SURE YOUKNEW.

[ ALL GASP ]

AAH! WHAT WAS THAT?!

M-M-M-MAYBE IT'S THE B-B-B--

All: BEAST!

AAAAAAH-- AWWWWW.

THE ELF-EATING BEAST IS JUST A LITTLE KITTY CAT.

[ MEOWS ]

COME HERE, LITTLE FELLA.

YOU MUST BE LOST.

"MR. FLUFFERS. 472 HOUSE ST."

I THINK I KNOW WHERE THAT IS.

Uncle Grandpa: HERE YOU GO, MR. FLUFFERS.

OH, MR. FLUFFERS! YOU'RE BACK!

LOOK AT THE NEW HOUSE PLANT I GOT WHILE YOU WERE GONE.

[ YOWLS ]

WELL, THAT TAKES CARE OF CAT.

HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY!

YES!

THANKS FOR SENDING THAT BEAST

BACK TO ITS HOME FOR US, UNCLE GRANDPA.

GLAD WE COULD HELP EACH OTHER OUT.

AND SORRY I HAD TO UNLEASH THOSE MOVES ON YOU.

AH, NO WORRIES.

SAY, IF YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE HUNGRY,

WHY DON'T YOU STAY FOR DINNER?

WOW. THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU TO OFFER.

BUT I REALLY SHOULD GET BACK TO FINISHING SOME LAUNDRY.

UH, DID UNCLE GRANDPA JUST SAY HE WAS DOING LAUNDRY?

YUH-OH.

All: YAAAAAH!

LET'S HEAR IT FOR UNCLE GRANDPA, EVERYONE.

[ ALL MOANING ]

SORRY TO RUIN YOUR FEAST,

BUT DID ANYBODY SEE A MUSTACHE FLOAT BY HERE?

[ METAL DETECTOR BEEPS ] [ GASPS ]

[ MUNCHES ]

Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA,

WE'VE BEEN DRIVING AROUND THIS NEIGHBORHOOD FOR HOURS.

WHEN ARE WE GONNA STOP?

I'LL STOP AS SOON AS I FIND

THE BEST SPOT TO SET UP OUR YARD SALE.

THERE WE GO. THERE'S THE PERFECT SPOT.

RIGHT UP THERE.

THERE WE GO.

THE UNCLE GRANDPA YARD SALE IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS!

Aliens: MEEP!

HEY, THERE, LITTLE GUY.

SEE ANYTHING YOU LIKE?

MEEPMOOPMOORP. HOW MUCH?

AH, GOOD CHOICE -- MADE OF THE FINEST PLASTICS,

EXCELLENT CRAFTMANSHIP, WITH JUST SLIGHT WEAR AND TEAR.

25 CENTS, AND IT'S YOURS.

MEEPMORPMEEP. I'LL TAKE IT!

MEEPMURPMOOP.

NEVER HEARD OF HIM.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

AUTOGRAPHED PIZZA STEVE PHOTOGRAPHS?!

I'LL TAKE A DOZEN.

STEP RIGHT UP

AND BUY A BEAUTIFUL HANDCRAFTED LINT BALL.

NOTICE THE LOVELY FILIGREE.

WHOO! EXCELLENT CHOICE, SIR.

MEEP. THIS ONE, PLEASE.

[ GROWLS ]

MEEPMEEP!

WHEEEE!

HOW ARE WE DOING SO FAR?

I'M NOT SURE.

THE MOONIES PAID FOR EVERYTHING

WITH COINS MADE OUT OF CHEESE.

THOSE'LL GO GREAT WITH MY MARTIAN CRACKER BILLS.

[ ALIENS ARGUING ]

[ PANTING ]

WAAH!

[ GAGGING ]

[ WHIMPERING ]

MAN, THIS NEIGHBORHOOD'S GONE INSANE.

I HOPE THEY DON'T ASK FOR THEIR MONEY BACK.

I'M HUNGRY.

[ MUNCHES ]