Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ BELLS JINGLING ]

CHRISTMAS IS A SPECIAL TIME TO CELEBRATE GOOD CHEER.

EXCUSE ME WHILST I LIGHT THIS CANDLE

MADE OF WAX PULLED FROM MY EAR.

AND NOW IT'S TIME TO HANG THE CHRISTMAS DONUT ON THE DOOR.

LET'S PEEK INSIDE AND SPY UPON STUPIDITY GALORE.

SO...

WHO'S READY FOR SECRET SANTA?!

All: WE ARE!

OKEE-SMOKEY. [ POP! ]

YOU KNOW THE RULES.

IT'S TIME TO PICK YOUR SECRET GIFT BUDDY.

JUST GRAB A NAME...

[ GROANS ]

...AND DON'T LET ANYONE SEE IT.

NOW LET'S SEE WHOSE HOLIDAY HAPPINESS

I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS YEAR.

OOH! GRANDPA'S GOT A GOOD ONE.

REMEMBER, KEEP IT A SECRET.

OH, YEAH!

[ WHIRRING ] [ GULP ]

WHO'S READY TO DO SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AT THE MALL?!

All: WE ARE!

[ BOING! ]

THANKS, ZEBRA.

[ FARTING ]

[ GROWLS ]

DOES EVERYONE KNOW WHAT

THEY'RE GOING TO GET THEIR SECRET FRIEND?

I DON'T KNOW. THERE'S SO MANY THINGS TO CHOOSE FROM!

YOU SEE...

Man: HEY, YOU! YES, YOU!

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS GIFT?

WELL, LOOK NO FURTHER!

GET READY, KIDS --

IT'S THE TOY THAT'S GONNA EAT YOUR CHRISTMAS!

IT'S THE NEW JET-PROPELLED HOVER GATOR!

YOUR MOM IS GUARANTEED TO HATE THE HOVER GATOR!

FOR HOURS AND HOURS OF SHEER PARENTAL CONSTERNATION,

NOTHING BEATS THE NEW 60% LOUDER

SNAPPING-JAWED HOVER GATOR!

YOUR CHRISTMAS WILL FAIL WITHOUT IT!

OH, MY DEAR!

THAT'S AMAZING!

SO COOL!

[ SCREAMING ]

OOH!

WELL, I THINK I KNOW WHAT

I'M GOING TO GET FOR MY SECRET SANTA BUDDY.

I ALSO HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA OF WHAT I'M GETTING.

[ WHIRS ] MY HOLIDAY SHOPPING WILL BE SO EASY.

I WON'T EVEN NEED ATINY MIRACLE TO BUY MYGIFT.

AWW.

WELL, SUCKERS,

I JUST FINISHED MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!

WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO?

HEY, YOU'RE NOT GOING FOR A HOVER GATOR, TOO?

I'LL NEVER TELL.

[ FARTING ]

OH, DEAR.

I FEAR THAT WE ARE ALL AFTER THE SAME GIFT.

[ ALL PANTING ]

EXCUSE ME. [ BEEPS ]

I AM SO SORRY!

WE ARE ALL OUT AT THIS LOCATION!

BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR!

I THINK I HEARD THEY HAVE A FEW LEFT AT TOY KINGDOM

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MALL.

OH, WELL.

I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GET SOMETHING ELSE.

I WILL ALSO ATTEMPT TO SELECT AN ALTERNATIVE GIFT IDEA.

YEAH.

Uncle Grandpa: BUT IT'S MINE!

OH, YEAH, KNEAD THAT DOUGH!

[ ALL PANTING ]

I HOPE I HAVE A QUARTER.

YES!

[ GRUNTING ]

[ GRUNTS ]

OH, SO IT'S LIKE THAT, HUH?!

[ GROWLS ]

PERHAPS I SHOULD INCREASE MY ODDS OF OBTAINING THAT GIFT!

HEY!

THIS WILL HELP!

[ GRUNTING ]

HEY, FRANKENSTEIN, DON'T TREAD ON ME!

[ GRUNTS ]

[ FARTING ]

[ SHATTERING ]

EXCUSE ME! PARDON ME!

[ PANTING ]

[ GRUNTS ]

[ BOWLING PINS CRASH ]

[ POP! ]

BAD KITTY.

MOVE IT, PINHEAD!

MOMMY, LOOK OUT! A SCARY GREEN MONSTER GUY!

HEY, I MAY BE GREEN AND OFTENTIMES SCARY, BUT I'M NO --

[ ROARS ]

[ SCREAMING ]

[ GROANS ]

YEESH! THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE!

OH, HEY, PIZZA STEVE!

YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW

WHERE THE ELEVATOR IS, WOULD YOU?

RIGHT OVER THERE, DUDE.

THANKS!

[ FARTING ]

[ SNARLS ]

I'M MAKING GREAT TIME!

AAH!

[ SPLASH! ]

MY CIRCUIT BOARD! MY CIRCUIT BOARD!

STAY DOWN, TINY!

EXCUSE ME -- CHRISTMAS EMERGENCY!

[ WAILS ]

[ GRUNTING ]

[ REVVING ]

FINALLY! [ SCREAMS ]

[ GROANS ]

OH, HEY, UNCLE G.

IF YOU WANT YOUR SHOES LOOKIN' SLICK AND SHINY,

MY MAN HERE IS DOING SOME GRADE "A" WORK!

THANKS FOR THE TIP, PIZZA STEVE, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME.

I HAVE TO GET THE GIFT OF A LIFETIME.

[ GROANS ]

GET IT, UNCLE G!

[ ROARS ]

COOL, THEY STILL HAVE IT! YES!

WELL, DOWN TO THE LAST HOVER GATOR IN THE ENTIRE MALL.

PROBABLY THE WHOLE COUNTRY BY NOW.

OKAY, BACK TO PRETENDING TO WORK.

[ MEOWS ]

SORRY, TIGER.

HAD TO MAKE A QUICK STOP AT NETS GALORE

BEFORE PICKIN' UP THIS BAD BOY.

[ ROARS ]

[ SCREAMS ]

HERE'S MY CHANCE!

HEY, LET GO, BELLY BAG! IT'S MY GIFT!

NOT ANYMORE!

IT'S MINE! HEY, COME ON!

OOH! OH, NO!

NOW LET ME SHOW YOU FOLKS

WHY THE WOOD CHIPPER 4000-X IS ESSENTIAL TO ANY HOME.

[ BUZZING ]

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] EH, ANY QUESTIONS?

[ ALL SCREAM ]

WELL, THERE GOES ANY CHANCE

OF SCORING THE SEASON'S HOTTEST GIFT.

I GUESS WE COULD ALL JUST THINK OF SOMETHING DIFFERENT

TO GET OUR SECRET SANTA SELECTION.

HEY, THAT'S IT!

IF ANYONE CAN COME THROUGH WITH THE PERFECT GIFT,

IT'S MY BROTHER, SANTA CLAUS!

HE'S PROBABLY AT THIS MALL TAKING ORDERS RIGHT --

HEY, WAIT FOR ME! IT WAS MY IDEA!

THIS ULTIMATE DATA PLAN SOUNDS AWESOME.

BUT I DON'T SIGN ANY CONTRACT

WITHOUT MY AGENT OR LAWYER PRESENT, DUDE.

[ ALL PANTING ]

GEEZ! WHAT'S THE RUSH ALL ABOUT?

DANG, THERE'S A LINE!

ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS, BY THE TIME WE REACH SANTA,

IT WILL BE CLOSE TO EASTER.

[ ROARS ]

FRANKENSTEIN, DON'T EVEN THINK

ABOUT PUSHING THOSE KIDS OUT OF LINE.

THERE'S GOTTA BE A LESS OBTRUSIVE WAY

TO GET TO THE FRONT.

HEY, KID, YOUR SHOE'S UNTIED.

OH, THANKS.

[ SCREAMING ]

EXCUSE ME, COMING THROUGH, PARDON ME.

URGENT MATTER! FAMILY FIRST.

SORRY, COMING THROUGH!

HEY, HOW DID YOU GUYS GET HERE BEFORE ME?

WE JUST FLEW ON TIGER'S BACK.

BUT WE'VE GOT ANOTHER PROBLEM --

SANTA'S ON HIS DINNER BREAK!

WHA?!

HEY, FRANKY, WHY DON'T YOU GO SHOW SANTA

WHAT WE THINK ABOUT HIS BREAK.

[ GROWLS ]

[ YELLS ] [ CRASH! ]

WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?

YOU'RE NOT MY BROTHER.

OF COURSE I'M NOT.

I'M ONE OF HIS MANY HELPERS.

THINGS GET REAL BUSY FOR HIM THIS TIME OF YEAR, YOU KNOW?

MAKES SENSE.

NOW, WHAT'S SO URGENT

YOU HAD TO GO AND RUIN MY TWO-MINUTE DINNER BREAK?

WELL, WE'RE ALL TRYING TO GET

THE SAME HOVER GATOR FOR OUR SECRET SANTA GIFT EXCHANGE,

BUT WE KIND OF DESTROYED THE LAST ONE.

AND NOW YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE

TO SAVE US FROM HOLIDAY GIFT DISAPPOINTMENT.

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU GUYS STORMED IN HERE,

SABOTAGING EACH OTHER, TEARING APART THIS MALL,

CUTTING IN FRONT OF ALL THESE NICE KIDS IN LINE

JUST TO GET YOUR HANDS ON SOME NEW TOY?

YEAH.

WELL, I'M PRETTY SURE

SANTA DOESN'T REWARD THAT KIND OF DESPICABLE BEHAVIOR,

WHETHER HE'S YOUR BROTHER OR NOT.

NOW, YOU GUYS SHOULD ALL TAKE A LONG LOOK AT YOURSELVES

AND THINK ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS.

[ SOBBING ]

OH, HE'S RIGHT!

WHAT HAVE WE BECOME?

I JUST WANTED TO GET THE COOLEST GIFT IN THE WORLD

FOR THE COOLEST DUDE IN THE WORLD -- PIZZA STEVE.

YEAH, PIZZA STEVE WOULD'VE REALLY LOVED THAT TOY.

I LET PIZZA STEVE DOWN.

I HOPE IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT REALLY COUNTS.

YEAH, I GOT PIZZA STEVE, TOO.

THAT GIFT WAS...

WAIT A MINUTE HERE!

[ ROARS ]

[ GROWLS ]

I KNEW IT!

THAT SELFISH SLICE WROTE HIS NAME

ON ALL THE SECRET SANTA PAPERS!

SOUNDS LIKE Y'ALL GOT PLAYED LIKE A FIDDLE

BY A GREEDY SLICE OF PIZZA.

OOH, MAN!

NOTHIN' BEATS GARLIC PIZZA BALLS FROM THE MALL FOOD COURT.

[ EXHALES ] YEESH!

GOOD THING I PICKED UP THESE BREATH MINTS

AT THE THREE CENT STORE.

[ ROARS ]

THAT'LL DO, FRANKY.

PIZZA STEVE, DID YOU WRITE YOUR NAME

ON ALL OF THE PAPERS FOR OUR SECRET SANTA GAME?!

NO.

OKAY, I GIVE UP. WHO DID IT?

UNCLE GRANDPA, COME ON!

HE'S OBVIOUSLY LYING, THAT SNEAKY LITTLE --

WHOA, WHOA, OKAY, OKAY.

I MAY HAVE ALTERED THE GAME A LITTLE BIT.

BUT BEFORE YOU CONDEMN ME WITH A TREMBLING INDEX FINGER,

HEAR ME OUT. HMPH!

ALTHOUGH MY ACTIONS MAY APPEAR SELFISH ON THE SURFACE,

BENEATH THE ATTEMPT TO OBTAIN MORE GIFTS

WAS MY WAY OF GIVING SOMETHING TO YOU.

[ GROANS ]

YA SEE, CHRISTMAS IS MORE

THAN JUST GETTING COOL GIFTS FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

ARE YOU SUGGESTING CHRISTMAS

IS LESS ABOUT AGGRESSIVE CONSUMER GREED

AND MATERIALISTIC GRATIFICATION,

BUT MORE SO AN OPPORTUNITY

TO SHARE QUALITY TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS?

UM...YEAH.

YEP! YEP!

AND THAT'S WHY I DID WHAT I DID --

TO SHOW YOU GUYS THAT VALUABLE CHRISTMAS LESSON.

AW, PIZZA STEVE, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

WE'RE SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND!

[ GROWLS ]

YEAH, HEY, I'M LOOKING FOR THE GUY

WHO OWNS THE RV CRASHED ON LEVEL ONE -- UNCLE GRANDPA.

I'M UNCLE GRANDPA.

WELL, I'VE GOT A DELIVERY HERE

FROM AN ORDER YOU PLACED ONLINE A FEW WEEKS AGO.

SIX -- COUNT 'EM -- SIX HOVER GATORS.

[ ALL GASP ]

OH, YEAH, I FORGOT I DID THAT.

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

WELL, HOW BOUT A BOARD GAME OR A COOL VIDEO GAME?

NAH.

OH, HOW ABOUT ONE OF THOSE THINGS?!

WELL, I'LL BE.

WELL, UNCLE GRANDPA,

IT LOOKS LIKE WE ALL LEARNED A VERY VALUABLE LESSON

ABOUT THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS.

WE SURE DID.

DO ALL YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING ONLINE

WEEKS BEFORE TO AVOID SOLD OUT TOYS AT THE MALL.

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

OPEN YOUR PRESENT, MR. GUS.

[ SIGHS ] OKAY.

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST WRAPPED

OUR CHRISTMAS TREE AGAIN.

WHAT THE HECK IS IT?

[ ROARS ] [ STREAK! ]

WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE IT?!

[ THEME MUSIC PLAYS ]

THAT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS.