Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ ROARS ]

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

HEY, UNCLE GRANDPA.

WANT TO SEE SOMETHING REALLY COOL?

IF IT'S THOSE DEVIL STICKS AGAIN, THEN NO.

RIGHT NOW I'M HELPING PIZZA STEVE

CATCH SOME SICK AIR ON HIS NEW KITE BOARD.

WHAT?

[ METAL MUSIC PLAYS ] WHOO! YEAH! WHOO!

POWER SLIDE!

GET OFF MY PROPERTY!

ISN'T THAT A LITTLE TOO DANGEROUS?

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID, BUT PIZZA STEVE INFORMED ME

THAT HIS MIDDLE NAME IS "TOO DANGEROUS,"

WHICH CAME AS A TOTAL SHOCK

'CAUSE I ALWAYS THOUGHT PIZZA STEVE'S MIDDLE NAME WAS WALTER.

WHAT THE -- OH NO!

HEEEELP!

AAAAHHH!

[ PANTING ] PTH!

UGH.

AAAAAAAAH!

PIZZA STEVE, I'M SO SORRY!

IF ONLY MR. GUS HADN'T DISTRACTED ME

WITH THOSE LAME DEVIL STICKS.

MY...SHADES.

OW.

MY SHADES ARE RUINED.

NOOOOO! [ GROANS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

I'M SURE HE'LL BE FINE, UNCLE GRANDPA.

BUT I THINK WE BETTER FIX THAT HOLE ON THE ROOF

BEFORE SOMETHING GETS IN THE RV,

LIKE A SQUIRREL OR A MOU--

NOT NOW, MR. GUS!

CAN'T YOU SEE WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY?

PIZZA STEVE'S COOL-DUDE SPECS ARE RUINED.

[ CRYING ] OWWW.

HANG IN THERE, LITTLE BUDDY.

WELL, TIME FOR ANOTHER SOLO SESS OF DEVIL STICKING.

OKAY, DONE -- YOUR BRAND-NEW COOL-DUDE SHADES, PIZZA STEVE.

NOW YOU CAN GO BACK TO IGNORING PEOPLE

BY NOT HAVING TO MAKE EYE CONTACT.

OHHH.

CAN YOU BRING THEM CLOSER, UNCLE G?

ANYTHING FOR MY HANDSOME, LITTLE MUNCHKIN.

[ GLASS SHATTERS ] OOH.

CUTE, LITTLE BABY. [ SMOOCHES ]

HERE. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THESE BAD BOYS.

HMM. THE TINT HAS A NICE GRADIENT.

TIPPING ANGLE IS A BIT MISALIGNED.

COULD USE A LITTLE MORE 'TUDE POWER...

OHHHHH.

YEAH, I GUESS THEY'LL DO.

OH, PIZZA STEVE, YOU'VE MADE ME SO HAPPY.

OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

OKAY, UNCLE G, YOU'RE WELCOME.

BUT I STILL NEED MY RECOVERY SPACE.

ANYTHING FOR MY MAIN SQUEEZE, PIZZA SQUEEVE.

[ SCRATCHING ] W-W-WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

MR. GUS. MR. GUS.

YOU'RE THE SASSY SMART ONE IN THE GROUP.

WHERE'S THAT MILDLY IRRITATING SCRATCHING NOISE COMING FROM?

TOLD YOU TO FIX THAT HOLE IN THE ROOF.

NOW THERE'S PROBABLY SOMETHING LIVING IN OUR ATTIC.

WE HAVE AN ATTIC?

IT'S REALLY DARK UP HERE.

TRY FEELING AROUND FOR A LIGHT SWITCH.

OKAY, BUT I DON'T KNOW.

DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THERE'S ANYTHING...AROUND HERE.

HMM. THESE FEEL KIND OF WEIRD.

OH! HELLO, HAROLD.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE I COULD FIND A LIGHT AROUND HERE?

WOW! THANKS, LITTLE FELLA.

AND HERE'S YOUR REWARD.

[ SMOOCHES ]

NOW TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THAT SCRATCHING SOUND.

HMM.

JUST A BUNCH OF WORTHLESS JUNK.

I'M NOT SEEING ANY SCRATCHING ACTION, GUYS.

HUH? YEAH, BUDDY.

NOTHIN' TO IT BUT TO DO IT.

LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY.

THERE'S A GIANT BIRD UP HERE

WORKING OUT AND GETTING TOTALLY RIPPED.

WAIT -- DID YOU JUST SAY A GIANT BIRD GETTING RIPPED?

THAT'S RIGHT.

LOOKS LIKE HE'S FOCUSING ON TRAPS AND LATS TODAY.

NOTHIN' TO IT BUT TO DO IT.

YUP YUP. TRAPS AND LATS?

WHOO-HOO! YEAH. THIS IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.

Birdman: YEAH, BUDDY! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, FELLAS?

BIRDMAN HAS COME TO ROOST IN OUR RV.

BIRDMAN?

EVERY 500 YEARS, BIRDMAN CIRCLES THE WORLD

IN SEARCH OF A CONVENIENT PLACE TO PERCH.

ONCE HE'S CHOSEN HIS ROOSTING NEST,

HE FORCES HIS WAY INTO THE HOME

AND MAKES HIMSELF AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE

FOR AS LONG AS HE WANTS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SOME LAME BIRD

WHEN PIZZA STEVE'S SHADES ARE RUINED AGAIN.

OH, DEAR.

UNCLE G'S GONNA MAKE IT ALL BETTER.

GUYS, WAIT UP. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT BIRDMAN?

I'M TELLING YOU, HE'S TROUBLE.

EHH, LIGHTEN UP, MR. GUS.

I'M SURE HE WON'T AFFECT OUR LIVES AT ALL WHATSOEVER.

Birdman: HOO! YEAH, BUDDY!

LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY. NOTHIN' TO IT BUT TO DO IT.

[ ROOSTER CROWS ]

YEAH, BUDDY! HOO!

[ SNORING ]

HUH?

HEY, WHO POKED HOLES IN MY PIZZA BOX?

PIZZA STEVE CAN'T STAY FRESH WITH A BUSTED ROOF.

HUH?

THIS WILL NOT FLY.

[ GRUMBLING ]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

SOMEBODY ATE MY PIZZA BED

AND RUINED YET ANOTHER PAIR OF MY SHADES!

I TOLD YOU HE WAS TROUBLE.

THAT BIRDBRAIN USED MY EXERCISE GEAR

AND DIDN'T EVEN TOWEL OFF THE SEAT AFTERWARDS.

SO I'VE WRITTEN HIM A STRONGLY WORDED NOTE.

"HEY, GUYS!

PLEASE WIPE DOWN AFTER A GOOD SWEAT.

I'M NOT MAD, JUST WANT TO KEEP A TIDY, ORGANIZED HOUSE!

HA HA! THANKS -- MG."

FORGET LEAVING NOTES.

BIRDMAN HAS GOT TO GO.

WHERE'S UNCLE G?

[ ROARS ]

UNCLE GRANDPA! HOW'RE WE GOING TO GET THROUGH THAT?

[ ROARS ]

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, GENIUS.

I'VE GOT JUST THE DOOHICKEY.

UH-OH.

AHHHHH! YAAAAAAH!

Mr. Gus: WELL, WE CAN SPEND ALL DAY

DEBATING THE FINER POINTS, PIZZA STEVE,

BUT I THINK WE CAN BOTH AGREE

THAT OUR TV SHOULD NEVER BE USED AS A PUNCHING BAG.

I AGREE.

[ Weakly ] BIRDMAN MUST GO.

SO, BUDDY GANG, WHO'S GONNA ASK HIM TO LEAVE?

All: ONE, TWO, THREE!

MONSTER TRUCK BEATS SCISSORS

AND MONSTER TRUCK BEATS PIZZA STEVE'S FIST.

SO... DINOSAUR DOES IT.

WHAT?! ALL RIGHT.

I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TALK TO THIS GUY BIRD TO BIRD.

[ METAL MUSIC PLAYS ] HOO! YEAH, BUDDY!

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

FEAR ME.

[ METAL MUSIC RESUMES ] YEAH, BUDDY!

OOOH! YEAH. GET PUMPED!

WHOO! YEP YEP.

SO, HOW'D IT GO?

[ SNIFFLES ]

YOUR TURN, PIZZA STEVE.

[ SNORES ]

LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY.

COME ON, TAKE THE BAIT.

TAKE IT, YOU BIRD.

UGH! [ METAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

OW! OW! OH! AH! OW!

FRELP, BLY TRIBED. [WELL, I TRIED.]

THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY TO GET RID OF THIS BIRDMAN!

WELL, HE'S REALLY INTO THE LARGE-MUSCLE LIFESTYLE.

YOU HAVE ANY MORE OF THAT PROTEIN POWDER YOU USED

BACK IN THE '70s?

GOOD IDEA, MR. GUS.

[ POP! ]

BING! HIGHLY POTENT PROTEIN POWDER.

NO BIRDMAN CAN RESIS-- UH?!

HOO! LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY.

BAWK, BAWK.

WHOO! YEAH, BUDDY! MMM.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER, TIRES SQUEAL ]

NOW TO FIX THAT HOLE SO BIRDMAN CAN'T COME BACK

AND TAKE CARE OF THIS EGG RIGHT HERE. EGG?!

AW, SHUCKS.

WE CAN'T EVICT AN EXPECTING PARENT.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE, PIZZA STEVE, THAT WOULD BE "NOT A NICE THING TO DO."

SO WHAT DO WE DO?

WE EVICT THE EGG, TOO.

OKAY, LITTLE EGGIE.

I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GO STAY, BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.

Birdman: NOTHIN' TO IT BUT TO DO IT.

[ METAL MUSIC PLAYS ] LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY!

HOO! YEAH! YUP YUP!

BIRDMAN'S BACK.

LET'S GET PUMPED!

WE SHOULD'VE NEVER GIVEN HIM

ALL THAT PROTEIN POWDER FROM THE '70s.

I THINK HE'S GONNA CHARGE US, GUYS.

WE NEED A DISTRACTION.

All: ONE, TWO, THREE!

FIST MR. GUS MEANS...

[ As Mr. Gus ] IT'S UP TO YOU, BUDDY.

[ Normal voice ] COME ON, PIZZA STEVE. UH...

LET'S GET PUMPED!!

WHOO-HOO-WEE!

YAAAAAAH!

OH, AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A PEANUT!

AT LEAST SOMEBODY APPRECIATES MY DEVIL STICKING.

OKAY, GUYS, WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, DO IT FAST.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN HOLD HIM OFF.

WHERE DO WE MOVE BIRDMAN'S EGG?

IT'S GOT TO BE SOMEWHERE THAT BIRDS LIKE, LIKE THE SKY.

THAT'S IT -- WE'LL SEND IT TO THE CLOUDS.

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME DO IT, BUDDY.

OH, NO.

IF YOU THINK I'M CARRYING THAT EGG

UP TO THE CLOUDS ON MY KITE-BOARD,

YOU'RE BEYOND CRAY-CRAY.

ACTUALLY, PIZZA STEVE, I WAS GONNA ASK

IF YOU COULD HELP LOAD THE EGG INTO THE EGG CANON.

BUT YOUR IDEA'S BETTER. READY?

HOP ON, BUDDY.

NOT AFTER HOW YOU LET ME DOWN LAST TIME.

OW. THE TIME FOR TALK IS DONE.

TIME FOR ACTION.

NOW TAKE TO THE SKY ONCE AGAIN, LITTLE FLYER.

OOF.

[ METAL MUSIC PLAYS ] WHOO! YEP YEP.

WE'RE AIRBORNE.

LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY! UAAH!

I'M DOING IT!

LET'S GET PUMPED!

YEAH, BUDDY!

NOTHIN' TO IT BUT TO DO IT.

I DID IT! AH!

AHHHH!

DON'T WORRY, PIZZA STEVE.

I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.

OOOF.

SEE, PIZZA STEVE? I SAVED YOUR SHADES THIS TIME.

GREAT.

BAWK!

HOO! LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY!

YEAH, MY LITTLE BUDDY.

YOU GUYS WON'T BELIEVE WHAT'S BACK HERE.

ANYWAY, BYE.

OHHH. AAAAH. UHHH.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

AH, UNCLE GRANDPA.

SO, SAYS HERE THAT THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT

IN OVER 5,000 YEARS.

WOW. [ CHUCKLES ]

THAT'S WACKY. THAT'S QUACKY?

HEY, LET'S GET STARTED BY CHECKING YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE.

HOOOOOO.

PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT.

I DON'T GET IT, BUT LET'S MOVE ON.

OKAY, LET'S HAVE A LISTEN TO THOSE LUNGS.

[ ROARING ]

ALL RIGTHY, LET'S TRY THE HEART INSTEAD.

[ METAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

OKAY, LET'S LOOK AT YOUR EYES, THEN.

NO...

NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

NO.

THIS IS SILLY. [ WHIMPERING ]

ALL RIGHT, NONE OF THAT.

I GUESS I'LL CHECK YOUR REFLEXES.

TELL ME IF THIS HURTS.

I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.

OHHH. AAAAH. UHHH.

JUST GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT, DOC!

HOW LONG HAVE I GOT?

[ SOBBING ]

IN ALL MY YEARS IN THIS PROFESSION,

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE SO...SO WEIRD!

[ GASPS ]

IT'S AWESOME. SO I'M HEALTHY?

OH, I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY NOT.

I'M A DUCK-TOR, NOT A DOC-TOR.

THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

[ FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS ]

THAT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS.