Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, OVERDUE

LIBRARY BOOK, WHERE ARE YOU?!

UNDER HERE?

NO.

INSIDE HERE?

NO.

HMM.

NOT IN HERE EITHER.

>> HEY, OVER HERE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HUH?

WHO SAID THAT?

>> I DID!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WAS IT THE

TREE?

>> YEAH, IT WAS.

WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU CAN TALK?!

>> [ Laughing ] OF COURSE I CAN

TALK!

I'M A TREE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, BOY, OH,

BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY!

BELLY BAG, BELLY BAG, MR. TREE

CAN TALK!

>> Belly Bag: HUH?

OH, NOT NOW, UNCLE GRANDPA.

I'M FINISHING MY BOOK ON TAPE.

DON'T BOTHER ME TILL THE END OF

THE EPISODE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, SORRY.

SO, MR. TREE, YOU AND I HAVE A

LOTOF CATCHING UP TO DO.

I CAN'T WAIT TO ESTABLISH A

LIFELONG BOND WITH MY

BARK-COVERED BUDDY!

>> YEAH, YEAH [CHUCKLES

NERVOUSLY] M-ME, TOO,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: SO, LET ME

TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF.

MY NAME, AS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY

KNOW, IS UNCLE GRANDPA, AND I

LIKE HOT DOGS.

DO YOU LIKE HOT DOGS?

WELL, I ALSO LIKE ICE CREAM.

>> Pizza Steve: IF IT'S ONE

THING WE CAN FINALLYAGREE ON,

IT'S THAT NOBODY DOES IT BETTER

THAN BURGER QUEEN.

>> Both: ♪ NOBODY DOES IT BETTER

THAN BURGER QUEEN ♪

♪ A HEAVENLY DREAM MADE WITH

BEEF THAT'S LEAN ♪

♪ NOBODY DOES IT BETTER THAN

BURGER QUEEN ♪

>> Uncle Grandpa: AND THAT'S

JUST ONE OF THE STORIES OF HOW I

MET MR. GUS AND PIZZA STEVE.

OH, HEY, GUYS!

WE WERE JUSTTALKING ABOUT YOU.

>> Mr. Gus: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

"WE"?

WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: THE TREE -- HE

CAN TALK!

LOOK, LOOK!

SAY SOMETHING TO THE GUYS,

MR. TREE.

JUST GIVE HIM A SEC.

[ SLOOP! SLOOP! ]

>> Mr. Gus: UH, UNCLE GRANDPA,

WE'RE GONNA GO EAT OUR BURGERS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY, I'LL LET

YOU GUYS KNOW WHEN HE'S TALKING

AGAIN.

HMM.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHAT'S UP,

MR. TREE?

DID YOU GET BIT BY THE SHY BUG?

>> SORRY ABOUT THAT,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

MAYBE I'D BE A LITTLE LESS SHY

IF I WASN'T SO HUNGRY.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM, WHAT DO

TREES LIKE TO EAT?

>> UH, YOU KNOW, I COULD REALLY

GO FOR TWO BURGER QUEEN BURGERS.

YOU GOT ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, YEAH,

SURE!

>> Pizza Steve: [ British

accent ] MR. GUS, OLD CHAP,

I'M SIMPLY FAMISHED!

SHALL WE?

>> Mr. Gus: [ British accent ]

BUT, OF COUR--

>> Uncle Grandpa: DON'T MIND IF

I DO!

MR. TREE IS HUNGRY.

>> Mr. Gus: [ Normal voice ] YOU

BRING THAT BACK, UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Pizza Steve: [ Normal

voice ] WHAT IS WITHTHAT GUY?!

I'M FLIPPIN' STARVING, JACK!

LET'S GO GET OUR GRUB!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY, THAT'S

THE LAST ONE!

YOU SURE WERE HUNGRY, MR. TREE.

>> Pizza Steve: UNCLE G, YOU

JUST THREW OUR LUNCH INTO A TREE

HOLE!

>> Mr. Gus: THIS ISN'T FUNNY,

UNCLE GRANDPA!

THAT WAS OUR LUNCH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOW, NOW,

DON'T YOU FRET LITTLE GUYS.

YOU MAY HAVE LOST A HAMBURGER,

BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE A NEW

FRIEND.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I GIVE YOU,

MR. TREE!

COME ON, HELP ME OUT HERE,

BUDDY.

>> Mr. Gus: YOU KNOW I GET

GRUMPY WHEN I'M HUNGRY,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

I'D HATE TO HAVE TO START

REMOVING LIMBS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO, DON'T HURT

MR. TREE!

>> Mr. Gus: WHO SAID I WAS

TALKING ABOUT THE TREE?

>> Pizza Steve: IT'S NOT WORTH

IT, MR. GUS.

>> Mr. Gus: ALL RIGHT, THEN, BUT

I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. TREE, YOU

SAID YOU'D TALK TO THE GUYS ONCE

YOU HAD SOMETHING TO EAT!

>> I KNOW, UH, IT'S JUST THAT

YOU GUYS LOOK ALL COOL WITH

YOUR CLOTHES AND STUFF, AND

LOOK AT ME.

I'M JUST NAKED!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU POOR,

NAKED, LITTLE TREE!

>> IF YOU WERE TO HELP ME GET A

SWEET NEW OUTFIT, I WOULDN'T BE

SO EMBARRASSED TO HAVE A NICE,

LONG CHAT WITH YOUR BUDDIES.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU PROMISE,

MR. TREE?!

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, SURE.

>> Mr. Gus: MAN, WHY'D HE HAVE

TO MESS WITH OUR FOOD?!

>> Pizza Steve: HE'S PROBABLY

OUT THERE EATING IT RIGHT NOW,

PLAYING US FOR CHUMPS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU REALLY,

REALLY, REALLY PROMISE,

MR. TREE?

>> Pizza Steve: OR HE REALLY

THINKS TREES CAN TALK.

>> Mr. Gus: THIS IS MORE SERIOUS

THAN I THOUGHT.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

>> Pizza Steve: I DON'T KNOW.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, GUYS,

MR. TREE AND I ARE GOING TO THE

MALL!

>> Mr. Gus: AREN'T YOU EVEN THE

SLIGHTEST BIT WORRIED ABOUT

UNCLE GRANDPA?

>> Pizza Steve: NAH.

UNCLE G'S ALWAYS BEEN A WEIRDO.

WHOA, THAT IS ONE SHARP-DRESSED

TREE, UNCLE G!

AND THOSE SHADES ARE TIGHT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: DO YOU REALLY

THINK THEY'RE TOO TIGHT?!

MR. TREE PICKED THEM OUT

HIMSELF.

>> Pizza Steve: NO, UNCLE G,

IT'S A FIGURE OF SPE--

>> Mr. Gus: DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM.

NOW, WHAT THE HECK'S GOING ON

HERE, UNCLE GRANDPA?

>> Uncle Grandpa: MR. TREE

NEEDED SOME SWEET NEW CLOTHES SO

HE COULD FEEL COMFORTABLE

TALKING TO YOU GUYS.

THIS GUY EVEN KNEW ABOUT THE

"EVERYTHING IS FREE" SALE TODAY

AT THE MALL.

HE SAID WE COULD TAKE ALL THE

JEWELRY AND COATS WE WANT AND

WALK OUT WITHOUT PAYING!

>> Pizza Steve: ARE YOU

SERIOUS?!

COME ON, MR. GUS, WE GOT TO GET

TO THE MALL!

>> Mr. Gus: OH, NO!

"EVERYTHING IS FREE" SALES DON'T

EXIST!

UNCLE GRANDPA, MUST'VE STOLEN

ALL THAT STUFF AND HUNG IT ALL

OVER THAT TREE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I DIDN'T STEAL

ANYTHING!

TELL THEM, MR. TREE!

IT WAS AN "EVERYTHING IS FREE"

SALE, RIGHT?!

>> Mr. Gus: STEALING, DECEIVING

YOUR FRIENDS -- IT'S NOT RIGHT,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH, UNCLE G!

THAT'S PIZZA STEVE'S JOB AROUND

HERE!

>> Mr. Gus: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S

GOING ON WITH YOU, BUT UNTIL YOU

CAN START BEING HONEST WITH YOUR

FRIENDS, WE HAVE NOTHING TO TALK

ABOUT.

>> Pizza Steve: YOU MESSED UP

BIG TIME, BRO.

YOU GOT THE BIG GREEN GUY ALL

UPSET.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHY, MR. TREE,

WHY?!

YOU COULD'VE TOLD THEM

EVERYTHING!

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

LOOK, I NEED SOME MONEY.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHAT?!

MY FRIENDS THINK I'M LYING TO

THEM BECAUSE OF YOU, AND NOW

YOU'RE ASKING ME FOR MONEY?!

>> I NEED SOME MONEY TO BUY YOUR

FRIENDS SOME GIFTS TO SHOW 'EM

HOW SORRY I AM FOR THIS WHOLE

MESS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, YOU'RE SO

THOUGHTFUL, MR. TREE.

HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?

>> OH, NO, I COULDN'T TAKE YOUR

MONEY, UNCLE G.

JUST, UH, TAKE ME BY THE BANK SO

I CAN MAKE A WITHDRAWAL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: AND THEN YOU

GOT TO PROMISE YOU'LL TALK TO MY

BUDDIES.

>> YOU HAVE MY LEAFY WORD.

>> Uncle Grandpa: ALL RIGHT,

LET'S GO GET SOME MONEY!

>> Mr. Gus: WHILE I MAINTAIN

THAT UNCLE GRANDPA IS COMPLETELY

OUT OF HIS MIND!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE'RE HOME!

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH, HE'S

INSANE.

>> Mr. Gus: OKAY, WHERE DID ALL

THAT MONEY COME FROM?

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH, WHAT DID

YOU DO -- ROB A BANK?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO, NO,

NOTHING LIKE THAT.

TELL THEM, MR. TREE.

>> Mr. Gus: DON'T EVEN START

WITH THAT TALKING-TREE NONSENSE!

YOU NEED TO RETURN THAT MONEY

FROM WHEREVER YOU GOT IT

BEFORE --

[ POUNDING ON DOOR ]

>> OPEN UP! IT'S THE POLICE!

>> Mr. Gus: BEFORE THATHAPPENS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: UH, OH, MY

GOODNESS!

I KNOW WHY THEY'RE HERE!

THEY'RE HERE FOR MY OVERDUE

LIBRARY BOOK!

WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE,

MR. TREE!

>> WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE'RE

FUGITIVES!

>> Pizza Steve: WELL, I'M GLAD

THAT'S ALL SORTED OUT.

>> YEAH!

JOHNSON, GET THIS TO FORENSICS!

>> YES, SIR.

>> LOOK, JOHNSON, A TRAIL!

COME ON, JOHNSON!

UNTO THE BREACH! EXCELSIOR!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, NO,

MR. TREE, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!

>> HOW ABOUT WE HIDE IN THAT

ARMOIRE OVER THERE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: BUT, MR. TREE,

I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH!

>> YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FROM THE

LONG ARM OF THE LAW!

IT'S GONNA REACH RIGHT IN THERE

AND GRIP YOU -- TIGHTLY!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE GOT TO FIND

A PLACE TO HIDE!

THINK, THINK, THINK, THINK!

EUREKA, CALIFORNIA, POPULATION

26,961!

I'VE GOT IT, MR. TREE!

I'LL HIDE IN THIS TREE, AND YOU

HIDE IN THIS UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Uncle Grandpa #2: GOOD

MORNING!

>> Uncle Grandpa: IT SURE IS

DARK IN HERE.

>> [ GRUNTS ] AND CRAMPED.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH, I GUESS

IT IS CRAMPED.

>> BEAT IT!

YOU'RE GONNA LEAD THEM RIGHT TO

ME!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, YOU SOUND

JUST LIKE MY FRIEND, MR. TREE!

>> YEAH!

>> THAT DOES IT!

THIS IS MYHIDING SPOT!

>> ALL RIGHT, BUB, WE KNOW

YOU'RE IN THERE!

COME OUT WITH YOUR -- AAH!

>> YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR

ROBBING THE

FIRST INTERNATIONAL BANK, FOR

SHOPLIFTING ALL THAT SWEET BLING

FROM THE MALL!

>> Pizza Steve: FOR STEALING

SEVERAL HAMBURGERS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WAIT A MINUTE!

I DIDN'T DO ANY OF THAT STUFF!

I'VE GOT SOME UNFINISHED

BUSINESS WITH A CERTAIN

MR. TREE.

[ GRUNTING ]

[ GRUNTING CONTINUES ]

[ GRUNTING CONTINUES ]

[ HORSE WHINNIES ]

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

[ GRUNTING ]

[ FLIES BUZZING ]

HAD ENOUGH?!

ALL RIGHT, THAT DOES IT!

[ FARTING LOUDLY ]

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

>> [ MOANING ]

OHH! [ SIGHS ]

>> [ GASPS ] SPRUCE OAKLEY!

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED!

[ GRUNTS ]

MASTER THIEF, 347 COUNTS OF

GRAND LARCENY!

I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU,BUT I

NEVER KNEW YOU HAD A PARTNER!

>> Uncle Grandpa: PARTNER?!

NO, NO, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL!

I THOUGHT THE TREE REALLY COULD

TALK!

>> YOU THINK I'M BUYING THAT

STORY?!

WHAT KIND OF HALF-WITTED, PEANUT

BRAIN WOULD BELIEVE THAT AN

INANIMATE OBJECT COULD TALK?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: BUT -- BUT --

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

OH, HOLD ON A SEC. HELLO?

>> Belly Bag: UH, UNCLE GRANDPA,

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD KEEP IT

DOWN?

I'M STILL TRYING FINISH MY BOOK

ON TAPE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, YEAH,

SORRY, BELLY BAG.

>> Belly Bag: THANKS,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

BYE NOW!

>> Uncle Grandpa: SORRY ABOUT

THAT.

SO, LIKE I WAS SAYING --

>> IT'S OKAY. I UNDERSTAND NOW.

YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK.

YOU,ON THE OTHER HAND!

>> BUT --

>> QUIT YOUR WHINING!

SERVES YOU RIGHT TO GET BEAT UP

BY A MAN THAT TALKS TO TREES!

>> Uncle Grandpa: AND THAT'S

THAT.

I GUESS IT WAS PRETTY SILLY FOR

ME TO THINK A TREE COULD

ACTUALLY TALK.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> Mr. Gus: DON'T SWEAT IT,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

WE'RE JUST GLAD YOU HAVEN'T GONE

KOOKY ON US.

>> WHAT A DAY!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THE R.V.'s IN

THE SHOP.

>> Mr. Gus: [ GRUNTING ]

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ MUSIC STOPS ]

>> Pizza Steve: OH, HEY,

MR. GUS.

WORKING OUT THAT DINO BELLY?

ARE YOU TRYING TO CRUNCHYOUR

WAY TO A NEW BOD?

>> Mr. Gus: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Pizza Steve: SORRY TO BURST

YOUR BUBBLE BIG MAN, BUT YOU'RE

DOING IT ALL WRONG!

>> Mr. Gus: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Pizza Steve: WHAT YOU NEED TO

DO IS DITCH THOSE ARCHAIC FORMS

OF EXERCISE AND GET WITH WHAT

THE 21st CENTURY HAS TO OFFER!

THIS FINE MACHINE MADE OF MODERN

TECHNOLOGY WILL LEAVE YOU WITH

ABS TO DIE FOR!

AND LOOK HOW EASY IT REALLY IS!

>> Mr. Gus: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Pizza Steve: OH, YEAH!

MMM! DO YOU FEEL THE BURN?

'CAUSE IDON'T!

>> Mr. Gus: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Pizza Steve: CHECK OUT MY

KILLER ABS IN A MATTER OF

SECONDS.

>> Mr. Gus: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Pizza Steve: YOU, TOO, COULD

HAVE A THIN WASHBOARD STOMACH

LIKE THIS.

OH, I FEEL GOOD, AND I LOOK

GOOD.

OH, DO YOU HEAR THAT?

SOUNDS LIKE A RIPPLING ABDOMINAL

SECTION TO ME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> Pizza Steve: AGH!

[ MOANS ]

>> Mr. Gus: [ CHUCKLES ]

[ GRUNTING ]

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

>> THAT WAS QUITEDELICIOUS.