Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

>> THANKS, DAD.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

NOW STOP VISITING ME AT WORK.

>> [ SOBBING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

I'LL HAVE ONE OF YOUR FINEST

FRANKS, HOT DOG MAN.

>> ACTUALLY, THAT KID WHO THINKS

I'M HIS DAD JUST CLEANED OUT MY

INVENTORY.

I'M EXPECTING A DELIVERY LATER

TODAY, THOUGH.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM.

I'LL WAIT.

[ WHIP! ]

HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!

[ SQUIRTING ]

[ WHOOSH! ]

MMM. MMM.

[ BOING! ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

[ THUD! THUD! THUD! ]

[ WHIP! SNIP! ]

>> OH, MY GOODNESS! IT WORKED!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REALLY YOU!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP, IT'S

REALLY ME.

WHO ARE YOU?

AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY

R.V.?

>> OH, MY NAME IS NUBERT NIMBO.

AND THIS ISN'T YOUR R.V.

IT'S AN EXACT REPLICA I MADE,

DOWN TO THE VERY LAST DETAIL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WOWEE!

YOU MUST BE MY BIGGEST FAN!

>> OOH! I CERTAINLY AM,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

I BUILT THIS R.V. FOR YOU SO WE

COULD LIVE TOGETHER AND HAVE

UNCLE GRANDPA FUN TIME ALL DAY

LONG, JUST LIKE IN YOUR TV SHOW!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I HAVE A TV

SHOW?

>> [ LAUGHS ]

SURE YOU DO, SILLY.

I'VE GOT EVERY SINGLE EPISODE

DVR'd ALL THE WAY BACK TO

"STEAMBOAT GRANDPA."

>> Uncle Grandpa: ♪ I'M VERY

HANDSOME WHEN I'M ON A

STEAMBOAT ♪

MAN, I SURE WAS HANDSOME ON THAT

STEAMBOAT.

ANYWAYS, NERDBERT, IT WAS NICE

MEETING YOU, BUT I SHOULD REALLY

GET BACK TO MY REAL R.V.

>> YOU'RE LEAVING ALREADY?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH. SEE YA.

>> [ SNIFFLES ]

S-SEE YA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: GLAD I COULD

MAKE SUCH AN IMPACT ON PEOPLE.

>> GOING ALREADY, UNCLE GRANDPA?

>> Uncle Grandpa: ARE YOU A

SUPERFAN, TOO?

>> WELL, I DO ENJOY YOUR SHOW,

BUT I'M NUBERT'S MOM.

I WAS ACTUALLY HOPING YOU COULD

STAY AND PLAY A LITTLE LONGER.

YOU SEE, NUBERT SPENDS SO MUCH

TIME WATCHING

"THE UNCLE GRANDPA SHOW" THAT

HE'S NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE.

AND SINCE YOU'RE HIS HERO, YOU'D

BE A GOOD INFLUENCE ON HIM.

IT WOULD JUST MEAN THE WORLD TO

BOTH OF US.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE GOT KIND OF A BUSY DAY

PLANNED, AND, UH...

>> I MADE YOU SOME HOT DOGS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY.

I'LL STAY.

>> OH, BOY!

OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY!

COME ON.

I GOT TO SHOW YOU MY STUFF!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THANK YOU!

[ WHIP! ]

[ SQUISH! ]

BEHOLD!

AN ENTIRE CABINET FULL OF

UNCLE GRANDPA'S BREAKFAST

CEREAL!

>> Belly Bag: UH, WASN'T THAT

PARTICULAR BRAND OF CEREAL

RECALLED?

>> INDEED!

THESE ARE THE LAST BOXES EVER

PRODUCED, AND I VOW TO KEEP THEM

BREAKFAST-FRESH FOREVER!

THIS IS THE ROOM I LIKE TO CALL

THE CREATIVE CENTER OF

CASA DE NIMBO, WHERE I COMPOSE

MY "UNCLE GRANDPA" FAN FICTION

AND THE ART IT INSPIRES!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT'S VERY

LIFELIKE.

WHO'S IT SUPPOSED TO BE?

>> CAN'T YOU TELL?

IT'S YOU.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM.

OH, YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ]

I SEE IT NOW.

I DON'T SEE IT AT ALL.

>> I'VE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST.

THIS IS MY SANCTUM SANCTORUM,

WHERE I KEEP MY MOST CHERISHED

POSSESSIONS.

EVERY ACTION FIGURE AND

ACCESSORY, EVERY POSTER AND

EVERY STICKER, EVERY SINGLE

COLLECTIBLE ITEM IN THE

UNCLE GRANDPA UNIVERSE, LIKE

THIS ULTRA-RARE UNCLE GRANDPA

STRESS DOLL FROM DEEPEST,

DARKEST GERMANY!

[ SQUEAK! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT'S A

PRETTY GOOD LIKENESS, BUT CAN HE

DO THIS?

[ GRUNTING ]

[ AIR HISSES ]

WELL?

>> MNH...NO.

[ SLURP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WOW,

NOODLEBEARD!

YOU SURE DO HAVE SOME KIND OF

WILD AND CRAZY OBSESSION WITH

ME.

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET TO

SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH MY

NUMBER-ONE HERO!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP.

THAT'S PRETTY GREAT FOR YOU.

>> HAVE A SEAT.

MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

I GOT ONE LAST THING TO SHOW

YOU!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OL' NESBITT

THERE SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY DECENT

MAN-CHILD.

>> Belly Bag: I DON'T KNOW,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

I THINK HE MIGHT BE JUST A TAD

TOO OBSESSED WITH YOU AND YOUR

OFFBEAT WAY OF LIFE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, DON'T BE

RIDICULOUS.

>> OKAY, UNCLE GRANDPA!

I'M READY!

I'M READY FOR SOME UNCLE GRANDPA

FUN TIME NOW!

I'LL BE MR. GUS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU CAN'T RUSH

THESE THINGS.

UNCLE GRANDPA FUN TIME HAS A WAY

OF SNEAKING UP ON YOU.

WHILE WE'RE WAITING, YOU THINK

YOUR MOM COULD MAKE US UP SOME

MORE OF THOSE TASTYLICIOUS HOT

DOGS?

>> ANYTHING FOR MY HERO!

[ WARBLE! WARBLE! WARBLE! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ HUMMING ]

>> HEY, UH, COME ON,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR HOURS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I GUESS I AM

STARTING TO PRUNE UP A BIT.

GOOD MORNING, NUMBUTT.

I THINK I MIGHT HAVE USED UP ALL

THE HOT WATER.

>> SO, IT LOOKS LIKE I WON'T BE

TAKING A SHOWER AGAIN THIS WEEK.

WHOA!

WH-WH-WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO

MY PAINTING?

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, YOU

KNOW -- JUST HORSING AROUND.

>> WITH ALL MY PAINTINGS?!

OH, WELL.

AT LEAST THEY WERE DEFACED BY

THE HAND OF MY HERO.

AAAH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY

CEREAL?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WELL,

TECHNICALLY, IT'S MYCEREAL.

ANYWHO, I'VE GOT TO FEED THE

TOILET MONSTER, OR HE'LL TRY TO

EAT YOU WHEN YOU GO DO YOUR

DUTY.

>> WAIT. IS THIS THE LAST BOX?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE

TO YOU-KNOW-WHAT.

[ BLAM! ]

>> WHAT'S HAPPENING?

UNCLE GRANDPA'S CARTOON

HIGH JINKS USUALLY CRACK ME UP!

BUT THE ACTUAL UNCLE GRANDPA IS

KIND OF A PEST!

AT LEAST I STILL HAVE ALL OF HIS

OLD FUNNY SHOWS THAT I LOVE SAFE

AND SOUND IN MY DVR.

"SHEEP CATCHERS"?

"MY TINY HORSEY: FRIENDSHIP IS A

VIRUS"?

"ANT FARM SCREENSAVER MARATHON"?

WHERE ARE MY SHOWS?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I'M SORRY,

NOSEBITE.

I NEEDED THE SPACE FOR MY

FAVORITE TELEVISUAL BROADCASTS.

>> BUT IT TOOK ME 15 YEARS TO

COLLECT EVERY EPISODE OF

"THE UNCLE GRANDPA SHOW"!

>> Uncle Grandpa: DON'T WORRY,

NUMBERT.

I'M SURE THEY'RE STILL IN HERE

SOMEPLACE.

>> THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

[ CREAK! SNAP! ]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[ ZIP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: IS THIS THEM?

>> [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ BLOWS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, THERE,

NUMBOAT.

YOU'VE BEEN SUCH A SWELL

HOST-TYPE PERSON, I FIGURED I'D

MAKE YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL.

I'M MELTING DOWN ALL YOUR ACTION

FIGURINES.

>> WHA-A-A-A-T?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GLOVE ME,

BELLY BAG.

>> Belly Bag: WHOA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: THANKS.

>> Belly Bag: DE NADA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP.

I MELTED THEM ALL DOWN TO MAKE

ONE GIANT DOLL OF WHAT I COULD

ONLY ASSUME IS YOUR ALL-TIME

FAVORITE CHARACTER -- YOUR

MOTHER!

[ ZIP! ]

>> WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?

ISN'T THAT SWEET, HONEY?

>> [ GROWLS, SNARLS ]

NOOOO!

NO, IT'S NOT!

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!

I'M SO OVER YOU, UNCLE LAME-PA!

I CAN'T STAND TO BE AROUND YOU!

I'M OUT OF HERE!

>> PLEASE, MR. UNCLE GRANDPA.

YOU'VE GOT TO STOP HIM.

MY POOR LITTLE NUBERT'S NEVER

BEEN OUT OF THE HOUSE BEFORE!

OH, NO!

ROLLER THINGIES?!

HE'LL HURT HIMSELF!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, NERMAL!

COME BACK INSIDE!

YOUR MOM'S WORRIED ABOUT YOU!

>> NO, NO!

[ POP! ]

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! HUH!

[ GROWLS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: COME BACK,

WALLY!

>> YEAH, Y-- OH! WHOA!

>> NUBERT!

SAVE HIM!

>> Uncle Grandpa: LET ME JUST

PUT ON MY HELMET.

[ CLANK! ]

AND NOW MY BLADES.

[ CREAK! ]

DON'T WORRY, NUDEBUTT!

I'M COMING!

HUP!

>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

>> [ GASPS ] NUBERT!

>> TRAFFIC!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH!

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: NUTMEG, NO!

GOTCHA!

[ BELL DINGS ]

[ WHOOSH! WHACK! ]

>> AH-AH-AH-AH!

I'M OKAY!

[ HORN BLARES ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: OOPS.

HEY, THERE, LITTLE CAMPER!

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

>> I'VE BEEN BETTER.

>> WELL, THE DOCTOR SAYS HE'LL

BE UP AND WALKING AGAIN IN JUST

SIX MONTHS, GIVE OR TAKE A YEAR

OR TWO.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WELL, I JUST

STOPPED BY TO SAY I'M SORRY FOR

ANY INCONVENIENCE I MAY HAVE

CAUSED YOU AND TO GIVE YOU

THIS -- AN AUTOGRAPHED

PHOTOGRAPH OF ME, YOUR FAVORITE

CELEBRITY.

I'LL JUST PUT IT RIGHT HERE.

>> OOH!

I GUESS I SHOULD THANK YOU,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHATEVER FOR,

NORDBERT?

>> YOU HELPED ME TO SEE THAT

THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE

THAN "THE UNCLE GRANDPA SHOW."

NOW THAT I'VE GOTTEN OUT OF THE

HOUSE, I'VE SEEN THAT THE BIG

WIDE WORLD HAS SOMETHING MORE TO

OFFER, AND SHE'S ON MY TV RIGHT

NOW.

[ CHOMP! ]

[ SPITS ]

>> PREVIOUSLY ON

"XARNA: SHE-WARRIOR OF THE

APOCALYPSE"...

>> SO, WHERE CAN I GET SOME GAS?

>> THAT'S NOT YOUR GAS!

>> [ GRUNTS ]

[ ALL MOAN ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

>> [ SNARLING ]

MY BRIDE!

>> [ GRUNTING ]

UNTIE ME.

[ GRUNTING ]

>> I ALWAYS CRY AT WEDDINGS.

>> HEH HEH! MY BRIDE!

YOU LOOK VERY LOVELY TODAY,

HONEY.

>> YOU CHOSE A VERY NICE ROCK TO

TIE ME TO.

>> DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE

GATHERED HERE ON THIS BEAUTIFUL

POSTAPOCALYPTIC BARREN WASTELAND

TO UNITE ONE WALLACE T. GERMBUG

AND XARNA: SHE-WARRIOR OF THE

APOCALYPSE IN UNHOLY MATRIMONY.

>> I JUST WANTED GAS FOR MY

BIKE.

>> IF THERE ARE ANY PARTIES

PRESENT WHO FEEL THESE TWO

SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED, SPEAK NOW

OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR --

>> Uncle Grandpa: I DO!

>> HUH?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: SHE ISN'T

MARRYING YOU, BUG GUY!

HANG ON, XARNA!

>> I'M NOT EXACTLY GOING

ANYWHERE.

>> HEY!

SOMEBODY GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HOLD ON!

I BROUGHT A WEDDING GIFT.

>> STAY BACK!

HE'S GOT A SPOON!

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GRUNTS ]

[ WHIRL! WHIRL! WHIRL! ]

[ WHACK! ]

>> NOOOOO!

>> THANKS FOR COMING TO MY

WEDDING.

[ ZAP! ZAP! ]

>> NO, WAIT! I --

[ ZAP! ]

[ ZAP! ZAP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: MAN, THIS

PARTY REALLY DIED.

GOT THE GAS.

NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

>> NOT WITHOUT MY BIKE.

GUESS I GOT HITCHED AFTER ALL.

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

>> MY EX-WIFE GOT MY TRUCK, TOO.

>> SHE'S NOT GETTING THAT TRUCK!

AAAAAAAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: UH-OH.

>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

>> AHHHHHH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I HOPE XARNA

CAN HANG ON.

[ CLANK! ]

>> UH-OH.

[ WHOOSH! WHIP! WHIRL! WHIRL! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GUESS NOT.

XARNA!

>> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ WHISTLES ]

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

[ FARTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: NICE SAVE,

BATTLE TIGER!

HE WON'T GET VERY FAR WITH THAT!

>> NO, HE WON'T.

TILL DEATH DO US PART.

[ BOOM! ]

I GUESS MY BIKE WILL NEVER GET

ANY GAS NOW.

>> Uncle Grandpa: TRY THIS!

WITH THIS BIKE, YOU'LL NEVER

NEED GAS AGAIN.

[ BLINK! ]

>> COOL.

THANKS, UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: ANYTIME,

XARNA.