Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, MAYBE

WE SHOULD SLOW DOWN A BIT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: NO CAN DO,

MR. GUS.

I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE

FOR THIS EVENT.

I CAN'T RISK MISSING IT.

>> Pizza Steve: UH, CAN SOMEONE

REMIND ME AGAIN WHAT WE'RE DOING

IN OUTER SPACE?

THE SATELLITE RECEPTION UP HERE

IS AWFUL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE'RE SEEKING

OUT THE TASTIEST AND MOST

DELICIOUS TREAT IN THE ENTIRE

COSMOS.

I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT

THE MOTHER OF ALL FOOD IN THE

UNIVERSE -- THE TACO COMET!

A HEAVENLY SPACE TACO THAT LAST

APPEARED 8,000 YEARS AGO, WHEN

IT BROUGHT TACOS TO EARTH AND

CHANGED DINNER FOREVER.

AND, ACCORDING TO THOSE LEAKED

GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTS, IT'S

FINALLY RETURNED TO ORBIT OUR

GALAXY!

MY MOUTH IS STARTING TO WATER

JUST THINKING ABOUT TASTING IT.

>> Pizza Steve: SO WE'RE CHASING

THIS TACO COMET DOWN BEFORE IT

LEAVES OUR GALAXY SO YOU CAN EAT

IT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Belly Bag: THIS HAS BEEN

UNCLE GRANDPA'S LIFE GOAL EVER

SINCE HE LEARNED WHAT A LIFE

GOAL IS.

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, YOU

MIGHT WANT TO GET OVER HERE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, BOY!

OH, BOY! OH, BOY!

TACO COMET!

[ ZIP! ]

WHAT HAVE WE GOT, MR. GUS?

>> Mr. Gus: IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY

BETTER, I'D SAY THOSE GREEN

FLOATY THINGS ARE SHARDS OF

LETTUCE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HMM.

IT IS!

ICEBERG LETTUCE, RIGHT AHEAD!

WE MUST BE HOT ON THE TACO

TRAIL.

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

THERE IT IS, IN ALL ITS

DELICIOUS GLORY!

MR. GUS, I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO

KEEP THE R.V. STRAIGHT AND

STEADY.

>> Mr. Gus: ON IT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE,

YOU HOLD ON TO BELLY BAG.

BELLY BAG, YOU HOLD ON TO ME.

>> Belly Bag: AYE, AYE,

CAPTAIN TACO TASTER.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HERE I COME!

TACO, TACO, TACO, TACO...

>> Mr. Gus: WOW.

HE'S ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: ...TACO, TACO,

TACO, TACO, TACO...

>> Pizza Steve: WAIT A MINUTE.

UNCLE G, HOW ARE YOU GONNA TAKE

A BITE WEARING THAT SPACE

HELMET?

>> Uncle Grandpa: ...TACO --

HUH?

[ FARTS ]

OOPS!

OH, NO!

MR. GUS, THE TACO COMET IS

HEADED TOWARDS EARTH!

WE GOT TO TURN AROUND SO I CAN

FIND IT AND EAT IT!

>> Mr. Gus: NO PROBLEM.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I'LL INITIATE

THE LANDING SEQUENCE.

[ HORN BLARES ]

[ WHISTLE! ]

TACO COMET! OH, TACO COMET!

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU

ARE!

OH, THERE IT IS.

>> Pizza Steve: THAT IS ONE BIG

TACO!

>> Uncle Grandpa: IT'S SO

BEAUTIFUL.

[ CREAK! SNAP! ]

[ BUZZING ]

[ CHOMP! ]

OH, NO!

WHERE ARE THEY TAKING IT?!

COME BACK!

[ Echoing ] COME BACK!

[ CRYING ]

NOW I'LL NEVER GET TO TASTE THE

COSMIC SEASONINGS OF THE

HEAVENLY TACO COMET.

>> Mr. Gus: DON'T WORRY,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

WE CAN FOLLOW THE MEAT

DROPPINGS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, YEAH!

DON'T WORRY, TACO COMET.

I'M COMING TO EAT YOU.

[ GASPS ]

GUYS! GUYS!

I THINK I KNOW WHERE THEY TOOK

IT.

IT MUST BE IN THAT SHOPPING

MALL.

>> Mr. Gus: WE CAN'T GO IN

THERE.

THAT'S THE MILITARY BASE WHERE

THE GOVERNMENT KEEPS ALL THE

ALIENS THAT HAVE CRASH-LANDED ON

EARTH.

THERE'S NO WAY THREE

NORMAL-LOOKING GUYS LIKE US ARE

GONNA GET IN THERE.

>> Pizza Steve: DUDE, THAT'S

LOSER TALK.

I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

EXCUSE ME, BELLY BAG.

I JUST NEED TO BORROW A FEW

ITEMS.

HUP!

[ GRUNTS ]

OKAY, FELLAS.

LET'S GET ALIENATED.

BLEEP, BLORP. WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

>> Mr. Gus: BLOOP-A-DOOP.

BLEEP, BLOP, A-DING-DANG.

>> HEY! WHAT ARE YOU ALIENS

DOING OUT THERE?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE.

>> Pizza Steve: SORRY ABOUT

THAT, BUDDY.

IT'S SUCH A NICE DAY.

WE THOUGHT WE'D GET OUT AND

ENJOY THE SUN.

>> MM...

[ CHUCKLES ]

I HEAR THAT.

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

JUST GET IN HERE, AND DON'T LET

ME CATCH YOU ESCAPING AGAIN.

>> Uncle Grandpa: DROPPINGS,

DROPPINGS.

THERE!

[ DOORKNOB RATTLES ]

I THINK IT'S LOCKED.

DON'T WORRY.

I'VE GOT JUST THE THING TO DEAL

WITH LOCKED DOORS...

THIS!

[ CLANG! ]

OKAY, NOW SLIDE ME UNDER THE

DOOR.

I FOUND A PAPER CLIP.

COME ON IN.

OH, MY.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.

HEAVENS TO BETSY.

WOW, GUYS!

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING SO

WEIRD?

>> Mr. Gus: HUH? LOOK!

>> Uncle Grandpa: IT'S THE TACO!

THEY'RE GONNA EAT THE

TACO COMET!

AND THEN THERE WILL BE NONE LEFT

FOR ME!

>> [ British accent ] PARDON ME.

I COULDN'T HELP BUT OVERHEAR

YOUR DILEMMA.

IF YOU GENTLEMEN WOULD BE SO

KIND AS TO PUSH THAT BUTTON,

THEREBY RELEASING ME, I MAY BE

ABLE TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR

CURRENT PREDICAMENT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I GUESS WE

COULD USE ALL THE HELP WE CAN

GET.

OKAY, BIG, SCARY ALIEN MONSTER.

[ BEEPING ]

>> AT LAST, FREEDOM!

SWEET FREEDOM!

>> Uncle Grandpa: SO, WHAT'S THE

PLAN?

>> NAMELY, THIS.

[ ROARS ]

RUN! BE FREE!

>> LET'S TEAR THIS PLACE APART!

>> All: YEAH!

>> AAAH!

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ ZAPPING ]

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: COME ON!

THE COAST IS CLEAR.

AT LAST! SHE'S ALL MINE.

>> Mr. Gus: BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA

GET IT OUT OF HERE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'RE RIGHT!

THAT THING MUST WEIGH A TON.

[ CRIES ]

ALL IS LOST!

AGAIN.

[ CRYING CONTINUES ]

[ WHEEL RATCHETING ]

>> GRFT: [ GROWLS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THERE'S A

TIGER IN THAT TANK.

HEY, GIRL, HOW'D YOU GET PAST

THE MAIN GATE?

[ BOING! ]

[ SCREAMING, WHISTLE BLOWS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

THIS PLACE IS GOING

CUCKOO-CLACKY.

>> HEY, WHERE DO YOU THINK

YOU'RE GOING?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE'RE JUST

TAKING THE TACO OUT FOR A SUNDAY

DRIVE!

>> WELL, IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> [ GROWLS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WELP, HERE IT

IS.

IT'S FINALLY ALL MINE.

[ BUZZES ]

IT'S CHOW TIME.

W-WHAT?

>> GREETINGS, EARTHLINGS.

WE ARE THE UNIVERSAL GUARDIANS,

PROTECTORS OF ANCIENT ARTIFACTS

AND CELESTIAL SUNDRY.

THE ASTRO-GASTRONOMIC OBJECT

THAT YOU REFER TO AS

"TACO COMET" HAS BEEN CIRCLING

YOUR GALAXY FOR COUNTLESS EONS,

UNDISTURBED, IN A STATE OF

PICANTE DIVINITY.

WE FEEL THAT EATING THIS SACRED

MONUMENT WOULD BE AN ACT OF

COSMIC BLASPHEMY.

>> PLEASE, LET US TAKE IT WITH

US SO THAT WE MAY RELEASE IT

BACK INTO THE WILD UNIVERSE TO

CONTINUE ITS JOURNEY --

REVERED, NOT CONSUMED.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WOW.

THAT'S HEAVY. HUP!

YOU MAKE A PERSUASIVE ARGUMENT.

BUT I CAN'T PASS UP A CHANCE TO

TASTE THIS GALACTIC DELIGHT.

>> Mr. Gus: BUT, UNCLE GRANDPA,

IF YOU EAT THAT THING, THE RICH

FLAVOR OF THE TACO WILL CEASE TO

SPREAD THROUGHOUT THE VAST

COSMOS, DENYING COUNTLESS

CIVILIZATIONS IT'S FLAVORFUL

BEAUTY.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'RE RIGHT,

MR. GUS.

I CAN'T DENY OUR SPACE NEIGHBORS

SUCH DELICIOUSNESS.

OKAY, TAKE HER AWAY, BOYS.

>> THANK YOU, EARTHLINGS.

YOU HAVE MADE A WISE DECISION.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THERE SHE

GOES.

I GUESS I'LL NEVER GET TO TASTE

HER.

OH, WELL.

THE HAMBURGER METEOR SHOWER IS

JUST ONE MONTH AWAY.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

SUCKERS!

>> Mr. Gus: FINALLY, SOME PEACE

AND QUIET.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HEY, MR. GUS.

I'M GONNA READ YOU A BEDTIME

FAIRY TALE NOW.

>> Mr. Gus: UH...THAT'S OKAY,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: Shh!

I'M READING.

"UNCLE GRANDPA AND THE CAN OF

BEANS-STALK."

$605 FOR PEANUT-BUTTER COLA.

$211 ON JARS OF HAMBURGERS.

THESE BILLS ARE KILLING ME!

I GOT TO START MAKING BETTER

FINANCIAL DECISIONS OR I'M GONNA

LOSE THIS R.V.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

>> GOOD AFTERNOON.

I WAS JUST ADMIRING YOUR R.V.

AND WONDERED IF YOU'D LIKE TO

EXCHANGE THE KEYS OF THIS

VEHICLE FOR THIS CAN OF MAGIC

BEANS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YES!

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

THANK YOU! COME BACK ANY TIME!

WHAT A DEAL!

I SHOULD PROBABLY BURY THEM SO I

DON'T LOSE THEM.

WHOA! WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET TO

MY BEANS?

GUESS I'D BETTER START CLIMBING

THIS HUGE TIN-CAN STALK.

YIKES!

I HOPE I CAN MAKE IT THIS TIME.

YES!

WHOA! A GIANT'S CASTLE!

BETTER GO CHECK IT OUT.

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?

DOES ANYBODY WANT TO EAT SOME

BEANS?

I HAVE PLENTY!

>> Pizza Steve: OVER HERE, BRO.

WELCOME TO THE

CASTLE IN THE CLOUDS!

>> Uncle Grandpa: COOL!

A GOLDEN SLICE.

IS THIS YOUR CASTLE, LITTLE

FELLA?

>> Pizza Steve: [ CHUCKLES ]

DUDE, I'M A GOLDEN SLICE OF

PIZZA.

I'M PROBABLY WORTH LIKE 900 OF

THESE CASTLES.

OF COURSE THIS PLACE IS MINE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: THEN WHO'S

THIS GIANT DINOSAUR GUY HANGING

ON THE WALL?

>> Pizza Steve: OH, HIM?

HE'S JUST A GUY WHO LIVES HERE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: BUT I THOUGHT

YOU, UH --

>> Pizza Steve: OH, DON'T GET ME

WRONG.

I OWN THE PLACE.

BUT I RENT HIM A ROOM FOR SIDE

PROFITS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: AWESOME!

WOULD YOU COME LIVE WITH ME SO

YOU CAN SHOW ME YOUR COOL,

GOLDEN WAYS?

>> Pizza Steve: ANYTHING TO GET

AWAY FROM THIS PRISON.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHAT WAS THAT?

>> Pizza Steve: OH, I SAID,

"SURE, LET'S GO."

>> Uncle Grandpa: YES!

ACTUALLY, I JUST TRADED MY R.V.

FOR SOME MAGIC BEANS, SO WE'LL

HAVE TO FIND SOMEWHERE NEW TO

LIVE.

>> Pizza Steve: NO WORRIES.

[ THUDDING ]

>> Mr. Gus: FEE-FI-FO-FUM!

[ SNIFFS ]

I SMELL UNCLE GRANDPA STEALING

MY STUFF!

>> Uncle Grandpa: HOW CAN YOU

SMELL THAT?

>> Pizza Steve: UH, WE SHOULD

PROBABLY RUN, DUDE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OKAY.

[ BOTH SCREAM ]

[ GASPING ]

MAYBE HE JUST NEEDS TO PAY HIS

RENT.

>> Pizza Steve: UH, MAYBE.

>> GRFT: [ GROWLS ]

>> Mr. Gus: HEY! WHAT THE...

>> Uncle Grandpa: ALL RIGHT!

SAVED BY A GIANT REALISTIC

FLYING TIGER PRINCESS!

YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH ME, TOO?

>> GRFT: [ MEOWS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOO-HOO!

>> Mr. Gus: DANG.

THAT GOLDEN SLICE OWED ME

20 BUCKS.

OH, WELL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: AND EVERYONE,

EXCEPT THE DINOSAUR GIANT, LIVED

HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

>> Mr. Gus: GREAT.

NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M

GONNA TRY TO GET SOME --

>> Pizza Steve: COOL STORY!

HOW ABOUT ANOTHER ONE, UNCLE G?

>> GRFT: [ GROWLS ]

>> Mr. Gus: [ SIGHS, GRUMBLES ]

>> THAT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS.