Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WELCOME ONE

AND ALL TO THE GRAND OPENING OF

THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED,

LONG-AWAITED,

NEVER-UNDERESTIMATED, UM...

NOT DEFLATED, ALWAYS GYRATED

UNCLE GRANDPA LAND!

COME ON IN, FRIENDS, AND

EXPERIENCE THE WORLD'S

FASTEST-BUILT AMUSEMENT PARK!

[ ALL CHEERING ]

>> Mr. Gus: SURE IS A LOT OF

PEOPLE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH, MAYBE I

SHOULD'VE CHARGED ADMISSION.

>> YAY!

>> Pizza Steve: GOT TO SAY,

UNCLE G, I'M IMPRESSED.

AND I'M NOT EVEN REFERRING TO

MYSELF THIS TIME.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'RE TALKING

ABOUT ALL THESE BRICKS ON THE

GROUND, RIGHT?

WELL, WE USED OVER 15,000 BRICKS

TO PAVE THE STREETS OF

UNCLE GRANDPA LAND, AND EACH ONE

WAS HAND-CRAFTED AND IMPORTED

FROM MIAMI.

SPARED NO EXPENSE.

BUT, HONESTLY, I COULD TALK

ABOUT BRICKS ALL DAY.

MMM!

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT RIDE

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA GO ON ON

FIRST, 'CAUSE I WAS THINKING

ABOUT HITTING UP UNCLE GRANDPA'S

RV SAFARI.

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Belly Bag: OOH! I'M GONNA TRY

THE BELLY BAG SAG!

[ ALL CHEERING ]

[ ALL GROANING ]

>> Mr. Gus: PERSONALLY, I'VE

BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO

MR. GUS'S BENCH EXPERIENCE.

>> Pizza Steve: PFFT!

THOSE ARE ALL LAME, BABY RIDES.

THE COOL DUDES KNOW WHERE THE

REAL ACTION IS --

PIZZA STEVE'S SCREAM SUPREME!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WOW,

PIZZA STEVE.

THAT THERE RIDE IS A PERFECT

REPRESENTATION OF YOU AND THE

EXTREME LIFESTYLE YOU CHOOSE TO

LIVE.

OKAY, GUYS, LET'S MAKE LIKE A

BRICK AND SPLIT!

>> Pizza Steve: ALL RIGHT.

TIME FOR PIZZA STEVE TO STOP

LIVING A LIE AND FINALLY

EXPERIENCE TRUE JOY.

WATCH OUT!

STEP ASIDE, BUDDY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

CELEBRITY SLICE COMING THROUGH.

>> WHOA!

STOP RIGHT THERE, LITTLE BABY.

>> Pizza Steve: BABY?!

>> THIS RIDE IS NOT FOR LITTLE

BABIES, SO GO PROVE YOU'RE NOT A

LITTLE BABY, LITTLE BABY.

>> Pizza Steve: EXCUSE ME?

IN CASE YOU WEREN'T AWARE, THIS

ROLLER COASTER IS BASED ON ME,

PIZZA STEVE, AND MY RADICAL WAY

OF LIVING!

SO IF YOU'LL KINDLY MOVE YOUR

GREASY FACE, I'D LIKE TO GET ON

MYRIDE!

HYAH!

GOOD TIMING, BOYS.

TAKE THIS ILL-INFORMED CLOWN

AWAY!

WHAT?!

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE

DOING?!

I'M PIZZA STEVE!

>> Mr. Gus: HOLY SMOKES!

WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!

[ CHUCKLES ]

I THINK I MIGHT RIDE THIS AGAIN.

OOH! RIVETING!

>> Pizza Steve: MR. GUS!

MR. GUS!

I NEED YOU TO PICK ME UP AND

THROW ME REALLY HARD OVER THAT

FENCE OVER THERE BECAUSE THERE'S

THIS GUY --

>> Mr. Gus: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

STOP RIGHT THERE.

YOU HAD ME AT "THROW YOU REALLY

HARD."

I'D BE GLAD TO.

>> Pizza Steve: SWEET!

BUT YOU GOT TO BE GENTLE.

>> Mr. Gus: I CAN BE GENTLE.

>> Pizza Steve: AAAAAH!

NOT REALLY WHAT I HAD IN MIND,

BUT I GUESS IT'LL DO.

>> Mr. Gus: BON VOYAGE!

>> Pizza Steve: HA HA!

I'M TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT OVER

THAT FENCE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE

THAT MAKE ME REALIZE HOW SMART I

REALLY AM.

OH, NO.

LOSING MOMENTUM!

AAAAAAAH!

OOF!

I ONLY WANTED TO LOVE.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> Pizza Steve: AAAAAAH!

HEY, BELLY BAG.

>> Belly Bag: OH.

HI, PIZZA STEVE.

ISN'T THIS PARK GREAT?

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH, IT'S JUST

WONDERFUL.

LISTEN, I THOUGHT I'D COME BY TO

CONGRATULATE YOU.

>> Belly Bag: REALLY? FOR WHAT?

>> Pizza Steve: 'CAUSE YOU'VE

BEEN SELECTED TO GO ON A RIDE

WITH YOUR FAVORITE PAL,

PIZZA STEVE!

PRETTY AWESOME, RIGHT?

>> Belly Bag: WELL, THAT DOES

SOUND LIKE FUN, BUT I'VE BEEN

WAITING IN LINE ALL DAY FOR ONE

OF THOSE NASTY TURKEY LEGS.

>> Pizza Steve: OH, DON'T BE SO

SELFISH, BELLY BAG!

YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, AND

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

>> Belly Bag: BUT -- BUT THE

TURKEY LEGS!

>> Pizza Steve: LOOK AT HIM,

SO SMUG.

HE THINKS HE WON?

HE DIDN'T WIN!

PIZZA STEVE'S GONNA WIN.

>> Belly Bag: UM, WHAT EXACTLY

IS THIS ABOUT, PIZZA STEVE?

>> Pizza Steve: HUH?

OH, NOTHING.

JUST SUPER-STOKED ABOUT GOING ON

A SWEET RIDE WITH MY FRIEND.

NOW GO OVER THERE AND DON'T ACT

LIKE YOU KNOW ME.

>> Belly Bag: HELLO!

ONE, PLEASE.

>> HMM.

GOT TO CHECK IF YOU'RE TALL

ENOUGH TO RIDE FIRST.

WELP, YOU BARELY MADE IT.

ENJOY THE RIDE.

>> Pizza Steve: YES!

ALL RIGHT, BELLY BAG.

NOW GET YOUR KEISTER ON THAT

COASTER.

>> Belly Bag: WAIT. WHAT?

>> AAAAAH!

>> Belly Bag: THAT'S THE RIDE

YOU WANT ME TO GET ON?!

NO WAY, JOSE!

TOO RICH FOR MY BLOOD.

>> Pizza Steve: BELLY BAG,

WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!

TURN AROUND!

THE RIDE'S BACK THERE!

NO! STOP!

>> Belly Bag: NOW THIS IS MORE

MY SPEED.

>> Pizza Steve: UH, BUT THIS IS

A KID'S RIDE!

>> Belly Bag: YAY!

>> Pizza Steve: NO!

[ KIDS CHEERING ]

>> Pizza Steve: AAAAAAH!

OH, YOU JUST THINK YOU'RE

PIZZA STEVE'S GIFT TO THEME

PARKS, DON'T YOU?

HUH?

HOLD THE ANCHOVIES...

WHAT'S THIS?

I THINK I'VE GOT A PLAN.

>> HEY, JIMMY.

>> OH, BOY! OH, BOY!

CHURROS!

GIMME GIMME!

>> UM, I WAS WONDERING, IF

YOU'RE NOT BUSY SATURDAY NIGHT,

I WAS GONNA HAVE A QUIET EVENING

AT HOME -- MAYBE WATCH A SCI-FI

MOVIE OR SOMETHING.

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO COME OVER?

>> GEEZ, STEPHANIE!

CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT?

I DON'T GO OUT WITH NERDS!

>> Pizza Steve: YES!

PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO STRIKE!

PIZZEE STEVIE, YOU A VICIOUS

LITTLE BABY!

YOU GOT THAT SNEAKY JUICE!

>> MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME, THEN?

I REALLY FEEL LIKE WE'VE GOT A

CONNECTION.

I MEAN, I KEEP TURNING DOWN

OFFERS FROM OTHER GUYS...

>> Pizza Steve: [ LAUGHING ]

>> ...HOPING ONE DAY YOU AND I

MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO OUT.

>> WHAT THE -- [ GASPS ]

NOT THE CHIGGITY CHURROS!

COME BACK!

[ CRASHING ]

>> OH, NO!

JIMMY!

GOSH. LET ME HELP YOU.

>> NO!

ONLY THING THAT CAN HELP ARE

THESE CHIGGITY CHURROS!

[ MUNCHING LOUDLY ]

>> I CAN OVERLOOK A LOT OF

THINGS, BUT THIS CHURRO THING IS

A LITTLE GROSS.

>> OH, CH-CH-CHIGGITY CHURROS!

>> EW.

>> Pizza Steve: AW, YEAH, SON.

NOW THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING

ABOUT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: TO PREVENT

INJURY AND DEATH, MAKE SURE YOUR

LAP THINGY IS DOWN AND SNUG ON

YOUR BELLY.

RIGHT, PIZZA STEVE?

>> Pizza Steve: HUH?

YEAH, WHATEVER.

EASY!

[ GRUNTING ]

OH, NO.

[ SCREAMING LOUDLY ]

I MADE A MISTAKE!

[ SCREAMING CONTINUES ]

OHH! THIS IS SO NOT COOL!

MY BEAUTIFUL CHEESE!

AAAAAAH!

MAKE IT STOP!

AAH!

>> [ VOMITS ]

>> HI, UNCLE GRANDPA!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNIN'!

>> UH, IT'S HOT IN THIS HEAD.

>> [ CRYING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU HEAR THAT,

MR. GUSes?

SOUNDS LIKE EVERYONE AT

UNCLE GRANDPA LAND IS HAVING A

GREAT TIME.

>> Pizza Steve: HELP ME!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP!

A TERRIFYINGLY GREAT TIME.

>> Pizza Steve: SOMEONE PLEASE

STOP THIS RIDE!

OH, MAN!

THIS IS MY CHANCE TO STOP THE

RIDE!

[ GRUNTING ]

HOLD TIGHT, PIZZA STEVE!

[ TIRE SCREECHING, ELECTRICITY

CRACKLES ]

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!

THIS WAS MY RIDE, BASED ON MY

EXTREME LIFESTYLE!

>> Uncle Grandpa: I WONDER WHAT

PIZZA STEVE THOUGHT OF HIS

ROLLER COASTER?

>> Pizza Steve: [ GROANS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE,

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

READY FOR ANOTHER GO-AROUND?

>> Pizza Steve: I'D LOVE TO,

UNCLE G, BUT I'M TOO SHORT FOR

THIS ONE.

>> Uncle Grandpa: ACTUALLY,

YOU'RE PLENTY TALL, BUDDY.

LET'S GO!

>> Pizza Steve: NO.

PLEASE, NO!

AAAAH!

>> Uncle Grandpa: COWABUNGA

MORNIN'!

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

>> ♪ EVIL WIZARD ♪

♪ EVIL WIZARD ♪

♪ EVIL WIZARD ♪

♪ EVIL WIZARD ♪

♪ EVIL ♪

♪ WIZARD ♪

>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

>> BEHOLD!

I AM EVIL WIZARD, HERE TO

BARRAGE YOU WITH UNMITIGATED

EVIL!

NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR

MY EVIL WRATH!

ALL OF YOUR NIGHTMARES WILL --

EH?

NOTHING?

[ SIGHS ] FINE.

LET'S SEE WHICH ONE OF THESE

POOR SUCKERS SHOULD FEEL MY

EVIL WRATH?

NAH.

NO, THANK YOU.

UGH! YOU WISH.

BINGO.

NOW THISPATHETIC LOSER IS WHAT

I'M TALKING ABOUT!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

LET'S SEE. HA!

THIS OUGHT TO DO THE TRICK.

I'VE GOT TO ADMIT, I LOVE BEING

EVIL.

>> HUH?

WEIRD.

WELL, I'M OVER IT.

GUESS I SHOULD WEAR SOMETHING

CLEAN.

[ GRUNTS ]

WHAT THE --

[ GRUNTING ]

I DON'T GET IT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> [ LAUGHING ]

>> HUH?

WHO ARE YOU?

>> [ LAUGHS ]

LOOK AT YOU!

YOU'RE SUCH AN IGNORAMUS!

EVIL WIZARD STRIKES AGAIN!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

>> [ GRUNTING ]

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> [ GASPS ]

OOH!

>> WOW.

[ DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES ]

>> HE'S GOOD.

>> WELL, I GOT TO GET THIS ON

VIDEO!

>> HERE'S MY NUMBER.

LET'S GO DANCIN' SOMETIME!

>> WAIT, WAIT! WHA-- WHAT?

I MEAN, TECHNICALLY, ISHOULD

GET CREDIT HERE.

WELL, WHATEVER.

LIKE I NEED THE APPROVAL OF A

BUNCH OF LAME-O's THAT HANG OUT

IN A LAUNDROMAT.

[ ALL CHEERING ]

WELL, AT LEAST I RUINED HIS

SWEATER.

OH, NO!

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT MY 4:00

POWER YOGA CLASS!

>> BYE, TINA!

GREAT SESSION TODAY.

>> I FEEL SO BALANCED RIGHT NOW.

>> BYE, RACHEL!

BYE, DIANE!

SEE YOU GUYS AT THE

FARMER'S MARKET THIS WEEKEND!

NAMASTE!

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

REALLY FEELS GOOD TO BE AT ONE

WITH MY INNER EVIL.