Original subtitles

**

Announcer: On the other hand, there are ears who see too much.

[ Phone dialing ]

[ Phone ringing ]

Dustin: Have you seen him?

Grave: I have. Where?

What was he doing?

He was putting up fliers that say "have you seen this man?"

with pictures of himself on it.

How did he look?

Did he seem fulfilled in his life?

Not really.

Man: Damn it! Damn it!

Damn it! [ Crying ] Damn it!

But I followed him for a few hours.

You did? What did he do?

You walked into the woods, pretty deep,

and crawled into a hole.

I did? Am I in there now?

You're just sitting there thinking.

What am I thinking about?

How am I supposed to know? Oh, come on!

Use your eyes!

He's thinking about -- about when he was a kid.

Announcer: Dustin Okus assumed his father was just distant,

or didn't love him, until the day he discovered

the man actually had a medical condition.

It's called Being A Dick.

**

**

Receptionist: You're late! Dr. Lenyrrt is waiting.

And open up, please.

Ahh.

**

It comes in all shapes and sizes.

I told you not to bug me at work.

Creepy Voice: But...

I missed you.

[ Muttering ] Is everything okay?

Yes. Yes, fine.

It sounded like you were talking.

It's a -- a new technique.

Uh, we talk to the teeth.

Cutting-edge dental-ry.

Ohh! Okay, sounds cool.

[ Whispering ] Look, you almost got me into trouble.

Don't be so uptight.

Come on, one quick smooch and I leave you alone.

[ Chuckles ] Don't be cray right now.

Shh!

At least send down the fresh meat.

Don't you ever get enough?

Okay, what is going on here?!

No cops! It's nothing! I -- it's just...

I'm -- It's just that I'm...

in, uh, love with you.

For real?

Why didn't you say?

I'm just shy, 'cause I --

I love you so much. [ Chuckles ]

Oh, you make me so happy, darling. Yeah.

So listen, let's get married and go on our honeymoon.

Fun! Oh, where should we go?

Oh, I know a place!

Right down here! [ Laughs ]

I gotta finish work, but why don't you go on your own

and I'll catch up with you.

You'll need these.

**

I gotta be honest, I've never done this before!

Am I doing it right? -Don't worry, baby boy!

All marriages hurt at first.

You're doing so great!

So hot. [ Moans ]

Announcer: In the middle of his first serious relationship,

Dustin made a major discovery behind a stone --

the 27th letter of the Alphabet.

No one knew another letter existed,

but there it was -- plain as the pudding on your stupid face.

[ Cheers and applause ]

I believe this letter will lead to new words.

Words for things we've heretofore

had no way of expressing

Which could lead to new ideas,

new emotions.

Perhaps man will develop a new organ,

a new lobe of the brain capable of perceiving

a new magnitude of reality,

one that contains a new state of grace.

At the very least

there'll be new foods,

or at minimum -- new meats.

Which would naturally lead man to new gravies.

This is to say nothing of new sides.

Or mayhaps a whole new specie,

an advanced creature 1/27th more conscious than us.

It'd be a gradual--

[ Dramatic music playing ]

Announcer: There is no way to describe the horror visited upon Dustin

without using words that contain the letter.

The closest we can safely say is that it made the Black Plague

look like a jazz festival.

It made Hiroshima look like a tap dancing pill bug...

[ Tap dancing ]

It made the Holocaust look like a children's party magician...

[ Fanfare plays ]

[ Balloon pops, blood splatters ]

[ Children screaming ]

It's here! A new meat!

We did it!

[ Children chanting "Fresh meat!" ]

Announcer: A magician who discovered a new and nobler meat,

derived from ether not beast.

So the world had no more need to raise animals

merely to suffer and slaughter like beef.

The animals were thrilled --

this non-sentient meat was their Jesus.

It took on their pain so they could focus on other hobbies.

[ Fanfare plays, balloon pops ]

[ Fanfare plays, balloon pops ]

Show business filled its destiny

as the true savior of planet Earth.

[ Fanfare plays, balloon pops ]

[ Fanfare plays, balloon pops ]

And the winsome gobs stoked Dustin's hope

they'd be kind enough to absorb his pain too.

[ Meat groans ]

[ Meat groans ]

When it martyrously obliged,

Dustin went on a pain spree

abusing himself with the gusto of a teenage girl at shy camp.

The sweet meat lapped up every twitch of suffering

like a biscuit sops gravy at sauce camp.

He couldn't get enough of the meat's generosity.

Every screech of agony was proof someone cared.

We. All. Love.

To. Feel. Loved.

One day, he looked up and realized

he couldn't tell himselves apart.

Lost track which me he was.

Both haunted by the same queasy thought --

what if I'm really him and he's really me?

What if I'm not the man?

What if I'm the meat?

Dustin: Now I've gone missing.

For the life of me I can't track myself down.

If you can still see me, can you ask me

if I know if I'm me or not?

Grace: There's gotta be one thing that separates man from his meat.

You mean this pit of misery burning in my chest?

[ Dramatic music playing ] Is it so strong you can see it?

[ Sobbing ]

Hello?

Can you?

Hello?

No matter how much numbing perversion

Dustin shoved in,

his ravenous yearn only grew emptier, abyssier.

One day, Dustin realized he needed to give a name

to his nameless ache --

he dubbed it Bry-Bry.

His emptiness was finally fed up

with the depth of Dustin's dumbth...

and went looking for better life.

**

An inner abyss out on its own for the first time

often feels nervous.

But when you're forced to sleep in the park... [ Screams ]

[ Burps ] ...wonderful things happen.

[ Screams ] It gorged on the happy, the healthy,

and any other suckers it could trick into the lips of its gape.

The pickings were so thick the chasm grew portly.

Then it got finicky. [ Burps ]

With no hole to fill his heart

Dustin felt more hollow than ever.

He was tortured by visions of the fun

his pit was having without him.

He had to accept that his void was avoiding him.

He'd taken his abyss for granted.

He knew what he had to do.

Bry-Bry!

Bry-Bry! Here, Bry-Bry!

Come on, bro-bro!

He used his special hole call.

[ Vocalizes ]

**

[ Pounding, muffled screaming ]

It tickled as his prisoners pounded

and scratched for release,

but he didn't let their negative energy

drag him down to their level.

[ Whistling ] It gave him confidence.

Knowing he was free fulfilled him to no end.

His prisoners stumbled, wailing through the black of his chasm

until one of the discovered the thing that changed the game --

the 28th letter of the alphabet. [ Applause ]

It made the 27th letter look like a jelly bean

doing tricks to impress and ultimately seduce a peanut.

[ Moaning ]

It gave them the knowledge and skills to grow acres

of vibrant crops to sustain their community.

It became a voidtopia, their lives rich with revelry,

and they never thought of the outside world again.

But Dustin felt so sorry for his captives he made it his mission

to explore the outer edges of his freedom

so their suffering wouldn't be in his vain.

**

[ Thud! ]

[ Pounding ]

I'm trapped in infinity!

I can't breathe.

Get me outta here!

Get me out of everywhere!

Announcer: He just needed someone,

anyone from the empty world

to let him out.

[ Muffled screaming, pounding ]

[ Muffled screaming, pounding continue ]

[ Muffled screaming, pounding continue ]