Original subtitles

♪ Teacher's pet ♪

♪ I wanna be teacher's pet ♪

♪ I wanna be huddled And cuddled ♪

♪ As close to you As I can get ♪

♪ That's the lesson ♪

♪ We're guessin' You're best in ♪

♪ Teacher's pride ♪

♪ I wanna be teacher's pride ♪

♪ I wanna be dated, paraded ♪

♪ The one most likely At your side ♪

♪ Ya got a burnin' Yearnin' to learn ♪

♪ I wanna learn ♪

♪ All your lips can teach me ♪

♪ One kiss will do At the start ♪

♪ Are you really? ♪

♪ I'm sure With a little homework ♪

♪ I'll graduate To your heart ♪

♪ To your heart ♪

♪ Teacher's pet ♪

♪ I wanna be teacher's pet ♪

♪ I wanna take home A diploma ♪

♪ And show Ma That ya love me, too ♪

♪ So I can be teacher's pet ♪

♪ Long after school Is through ♪

♪ Teacher, teacher She loves you ♪♪

Now you can see the elevators

leading up to the executive offices.

That's it, step right in, ladies and gentlemen.

That's the idea. That's fine.

And now if you'll just get up a little closer to the table

you'll all be able to view this room quite well.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the City Room,

the heart center of every newspaper.

Here you see only a handful

of the 2,500 highly-trained specialists

employed by the Evening Chronicle.

Men and women who work tirelessly,

not only in this vast building,

but in every country in the world.

Editors, reporters, photographers,

who become your eyes and ears in war and peace,

who make it possible for you to sit in your arm chair

and witness history in the making.

Men and women who uphold

the highest tradition of American journalism

and are dedicated to the task of making you

the best-informed newspaper reader on this earth.

These are some of the papers you saw

printed only a few minutes ago.

These first copies are rushed up here

to be distributed among the editors and reporters

so they can be checked in case there are any mistakes.

Now, in this department,

all the news of the city is funneled through the City Desk...

Which one's the city editor?

I'll get to that in a moment, madam.

Headed by the city editor

who is seated over there

in the center of the room facing his entire staff.

That's Mr. Gannon. Yes?

Mr. Gannon. Yes, James Gannon, yes, madam.

And at the far end of the room is the office

of our managing editor, whose name is Lloyd Crowley.

And down the hall, Colonel J.R. Ballantine, our publisher.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

what you may find of interest next

is what we term in newspaper parlance the morgue.

So if you'll just follow me right over here,

I'll be very happy to show you what we have.

Mr. Gannon, could I talk to you...

I don't care what his brother thinks of him.

That won't sell a paper.

Get me a quote with lace on it.

Mr. Gannon... Archard!

Where's the city hall story? Can I talk to you?

You want to talk to me about what?

My son.

Look, madam, I don't know how you got in here

or who you are, but I've got a...

I'm Mrs. Kovac. My Barney works for you. That's who I am.

Oh.

Barney's mother?

Why, glad to meet you.

Yeah, I bet you are.

Say, Jim, Fisher's calling in. He's down at Bellevue.

Some dame tried to commit suicide over a guy.

Swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills.

Now that's the business to be in: sleeping pills.

You wanna send a cameraman?

That depends on who she is. Find out...

Wait a minute.

- Mr. Gannon. - Yeah, uh-huh.

No, he says they just pumped out her stomach,

and all they got was a quart of bourbon.

That's not a bad business either.

In that case, no pictures.

Listen, I been trying for weeks to see you.

I can't get you on the phone. I have to take a tour.

What are you, the president?

We've got a paper to get out,

and your boy helps us do it. You should be proud.

Why? He's just an errand boy.

Copy boy. Same thing.

Do you want me to start him as managing editor?

I want you to fire him.

Mr. Gannon, he's gotta go back to school.

What for?

What for?

Because I want him to get educated, what for.

So did his father.

Mr. Gannon, his father worked all his life

in an overcoat factory on 7th Avenue.

He took a dictionary along with him

every day in his lunch pail.

"But, Edna," he said to me,

God rest his soul, he said, "You get Barney educated.

That's the golden key."

Gannon.

Try it tomorrow. This is okay.

Ahem, Andrews'll get you quotes from the deputy mayor

and you and he can get together on a sidebar.

Did you hear what I just said?

Certainly.

He took the dictionary with him every day in his lunch pail.

"Edna," he said, God rest his soul,

"Get Barney educated. That's the golden key."

With all due respect, Mrs. Kovac,

you see that fancy-Dan over there

clipping pictures out of the paper?

He's got a golden key:

Phi Beta Kappa.

I keep him around for laughs.

Uh, you, uh, wanna see something else?

This, uh, letter from some professor

up at the university,

E.R., uh, Stone.

Would I, uh, favor them by appearing as guest lecturer

in one of their night school journalism classes?

Me, Jim Gannon, who never went to high school.

So what's it got to do with Barney?

Barney wants to be a newspaperman.

He'll never learn that in school.

Your baby's grown up, Mrs. Kovac.

He's old enough to decide his future for himself.

Yeah, how can he decide

when he don't even know what he don't know?

Mr. Gannon, I think if he was educated,

who could tell what he could find...

I'll tell you one thing he won't find

is another chance like he's got here with me.

I'm teaching him his business.

During lunch, I let him take a whack at a news story.

Then when I get the chance, I show him his mistakes.

I didn't need him, I just put him on as an extra because...

You wanna play father?

Oh, Mr. Gannon, kids don't come that easy.

You have one first.

You wash his diapers, you stay up nights with him.

You love him and you worry about him like for about 18 years

and then maybe...

Maybe you have a right to tell him what to do.

Gannon.

Oh, hello, Peggy.

Yeah. How are you, honey?

Sure. Sure, I can see you tonight.

It's Tuesday. Aren't you gonna play poker?

Oh, I have a very important conference,

but I could, uh, get there for the last show.

What? A new joint? The Bongo Club?

Oh, yeah, sure, sure. I know where it is.

Yeah, I'll see you later, honey.

All right, Mrs. Kovac, I'll talk to Barney.

You will?

Like a Dutch uncle.

Or is that still too closely related?

Oh, my! Oh!

I've been having such a hard time with that boy.

Oh, relax. He's a very fine boy.

Thank you.

We're very proud of him.

Oh, thank you very much.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Mrs. Kovac. Bye-bye.

Pleasure to see you.

Jim. Here's the new murder lead.

Is that the way you want it?

Yeah, it's all right.

Mr. Crowley wants to see you right away.

Okay, Barney. Oh, by the way...

I know you're gonna fire me. I just saw her going out.

I told her not to come.

I told her I won't go to school

no matter what anyone said...

Now, wait a minute, kid. Wait a minute, slow down.

I didn't tell her I was gonna fire you.

I just said I'd talk to you like a Dutch uncle.

And maybe I will one of these days.

Gee, thanks, Mr. Gannon.

Oh, uh, Barney,

I, uh, I read this story of yours.

Stinks, huh? Well...

Barney, I...

C'mon, we'll talk about it on the fly.

Now in the first place... Oh, by the way, you heard about it?

What? They found him dead.

Who? The boss.

No kidding! When? A few minutes ago.

Where'd they find him? In his office.

How'd it happen? Well, some dame shot him.

Some dame? Why?

Barney, you just asked me six very important questions.

Who, what, where, when, how, and why?

That's what every news story should answer.

You haven't done it.

Gee, Mr. Gannon, you had me... Had me half scared to death.

Rewrite it. Yes, sir.

Miss Hughes, may I use your typewriter?

Yes, Barney, I'm all through.

Now, Jim, what do you mean you're not going?

I sent you a special memo to take care of it.

I did take care of it.

I wrote a nice long letter. You got a copy of it.

Yes, I certainly did, Jim.

And I told the professor that he was...

It's not a he, it's a she.

Well, I'm glad I didn't know that when I wrote that letter,

or I would have really sound...

Do you mean to tell me that now they've got dames

teaching unsuspecting suckers how to...

Now, Jim.

I'm not supposed to get excited.

I don't want to get excited.

But when I read your letter...

I just wrote exactly

what I thought of journalism classes.

You wouldn't want me to lie, would you?

Oh, yes, I would.

Oh, you know as well as I do it's a waste of time.

Where did you learn the newspaper business?

Working for a newspaper,

and not sitting with your nose in a book

at some cockamamie university.

Oh, now, now, Jim.

The colonel who pays your salary and mine

is on the board of trustees at that cockamamie university.

And last year, they gave him an honorary degree.

Yeah, they pass those things out

like somebody dealing a poker hand.

But the colonel is proud of that degree.

And I'm sure he wouldn't want you

to do anything to embarrass him

at that cockamamie university.

Look, Crowley, I don't like eggheads.

I don't like colleges.

I can't even stand the smell of chalk.

Now please don't ask me...

Jim.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I'm not asking you to go up there.

I am telling you to go!

And you get there early and apologize to that woman or...

All right, all right. If you really want me to go.

Yes, Jim. I want you to go.

No trouble. No trouble. Thanks.

Thanks.

Uh, could you tell me where I could find

Professor Stone's journalism class?

On the right. Room 102.

No smoking in the building, please.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Oh, is Professor Stone around?

She'll be here in a minute.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Evening.

Oh, could I have a few words with you

before the class starts? With me?

Yes. You see, there's a little something I'd like to explain.

Uh, you know, it's like I said to some of the boys,

anybody who teaches journalism

has gotta have a sense of humor.

You know what I mean, professor?

You see, when I first got that...

Professor?

Yeah, when you sent me the...

Aren't you Professor Stone?

No. Clara Dibney.

I think we can begin now.

Oh, would someone close the door please?

Everyone be seated.

Everyone.

Thank you very much.

And welcome to this survey course in journalism.

I see a few familiar faces from last semester,

and, of course, many new ones.

I don't know quite what you expected

but, um, I hope that you won't be too disappointed.

You know, we have been very lucky every year

to have had some of the really top men in the newspaper field

come and talk to us.

Men from The Times, the Tribune,

Daily News and many others.

So tonight, to start us off,

we invited James Gannon, city editor of the Chronicle.

Unfortunately, however, he is not with us.

In his place, Mr. Gannon sent a letter.

And although it's addressed to me,

I feel that, uh, this is something you all should hear.

"My dear Professor Stone."

At least I'm grateful for the promotion.

"Thank you for the flattery implied in your request

"that I appear as guest lecturer in your journalism class.

"Thank you, but no, thanks.

"If you've ever been inside a real, live newspaper office

"you'll remember that a city editor's job

"is to get out a daily paper.

"Unfortunately, that doesn't leave him much time

"for such pleasant diversions as bridge luncheons,

"guided tours through Rockefeller Center,

"the canning of crabapples,

"and lectures to journalism classes.

"Maybe it's just as well. If I came,

"I might get carried away by the spirit of academic integrity,

"and tell your unsuspecting students the truth.

"That the only way to learn about the fourth estate

"is with first-hand experience.

"In the school I graduated from

"there were no lectures without four-letter words in them.

"No books except those thrown at you to wake you up.

"No degrees besides the third.

"Information was gotten

"by keeping your eyes and ears open and your nose clean.

"Inspiration by a swift kick in the pants.

"To sum it up,

"I think you're wasting your time

"and I prefer not to waste mine.

Yours truly, James Gannon."

Any comments?

Yeah. Who does he think he is?

Oh, he must've been joking or something.

No, I'm afraid he was quite serious.

You see, I happen to know Mr. Gannon very well.

As a matter of fact,

I can give you a perfect picture of this man,

without ever having seen him.

He works, I'm sure,

with a cigarette dangling from his mouth, like so.

In a suit that he hasn't had pressed in months.

And, of course, he has the battered old hat

that he wouldn't give up for the crown of England.

Poker comes easy to him,

but, oh, boy, he drinks hard.

After he's had a few, he'll always tell you:

"Why, I never even got to high school, and I'm proud of it."

Then, of course, he'll, uh...

Oh, and he boasts about his exploits with the ladies.

Of course he'll never marry anyone but his job.

In short, he's a perfect example

of that dying race,

the unpressed gentlemen of the press.

I hardly have to stand up here

and defend education.

As my father always said,

"Education teaches a man how to spell experience."

Hear, hear!

So I shall continue wasting my time, as Mr. Gannon put it,

teaching you about reporting, copy reading,

makeup, and rewrite.

And we'll let Mr. Gannon throw books,

and kick young men in the pants,

and continue to be one of the few relics

of antiquity on display

outside the Museum of Natural History.

What about this dame!

Did she tell this jerk off or did she tell him off?

Oh, yes, Miss Fuller has the textbooks,

the daily papers, and if you'll just pick up a few copies,

I think we could get started.

Information.

Yes.

Yes, that class was tonight.

Oh, but you can still enroll.

Well, I would suggest that you drop by tomorrow.

I think that would be a very good...

And another thing:

I don't mind you taking that creep to lunch,

but why does it have to cost $6.60?

Where do you think you're working? Harper's Bazaar?

What happened?

I still don't know.

I merely said I liked college football

better than professional,

and he called me an idiot and began to chew me out.

So it's your turn today. Teresa got it yesterday.

And I'll probably get it tomorrow.

You can have my doghouse now.

Well, thank you, Teresa. I figured I'd get it.

He doesn't work anyone harder than he works himself.

He's still the first one and the last one...

Barney! Yes, sir!

What do you think this is, a weekly?

Sorry, sir.

What's this?

"'The future belongs to the educated man, '

"Dr. Martin Edwards, president of Tipps College

said today at a meeting of the board of..."

It's just routine, Jim.

A handout from the university association. We always run them.

I know we always. And we're gonna stop it.

If they got something to sell, let them take an ad.

No more of these free-ride college items

unless I clear them personally.

There's a "please use" on it.

"Please use" doesn't work here anymore.

And those night schools.

There's a nice little racket.

Some dame standing up there

never been closer to a paper than putting in a want ad,

telling them how to be journalists.

Stealing their money.

Amateurs teaching amateurs how to be amateurs.

Mr. Gannon?

Later.

And another thing, I don't wanna look at

that Phi Beta Kappa's puss around here any longer.

Put him on the night side.

Okay, Jim.

One of these days,

somebody ought to go down there and show 'em up.

Let those poor jokers see

what a phony-baloney the whole thing is.

Walk right in that classroom and...

And then, of course, in this sentence

whom do you mean by "he"?

The grocer.

That's not clear, Mr. APPINO.

It could mean the boy.

You see, when writing news articles,

you must be careful about pronouns

so as not to confuse the reader.

Uh, would someone turn the lights on please?

- I'll do it. - Thank you.

We'll have a little breather

while Miss Fuller gets us ready for the second feature.

By the way, is, uh, anyone absent tonight?

No. Just that fella with the moustache.

I wonder what...

We don't even have an enrollment card for him.

We don't?

That's odd.

He must have been in the wrong classroom.

Uh, may I have your attention, please?

Before we go on, I just want to say that

for a first try, your pieces aren't bad at all.

As a matter of fact, I'm proud of you.

Certainly, they're not as bad as I make them seem

standing up here taking potshots at them.

However, on the other hand,

you're not quite ready for The New York Times.

Now, if I seem to be...

Sorry I'm late, professor.

That's all right.

If you don't make a habit of it.

Uh, if I seem to be rushing things a bit,

it's only because I believe in learning by doing.

You see, by writing and studying

your news stories,

you'll see the importance of some fundamental rules.

The first one being...

Well, Kipling said it quite well in a poem that he wrote:

"I keep six honest serving men,

they taught me all I knew. Their..."

What and why

and when and how and where and who."

That's right.

But it wasn't Kipling. It was Emerson.

Um, no, Kipling, I believe...

Want me to look it up? Whoever it was,

the thought is what's important, wouldn't you say?

And the thought to always remember

is that every news article should...

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so curt, Mr...

What is your name?

Uh, Ga... Gallagher.

It's just that our time is so limited here and...

That's all right. I only thought... Never mind.

No, no. No, please. Say it.

Well, I don't know much about newspapers,

but I always had the idea

that getting the right name on a quote

was considered kind of important.

Yes, by all means.

This class is supposed to be run like a real newspaper, isn't it?

You're quite right. You see, in a class of journalism,

accuracy is equally as important as punctuality.

It was the cross-town traffic.

And the... And the point that we're making in passing

is well worth emphasizing.

Um, a prominent editor was once asked

what were the three most important things

to remember about newspaper work.

And he said...

"Accuracy, accuracy, and accuracy."

It was Joseph Pulitzer.

Mr. Gallagher, are you enrolled in this class?

Enrolled?

We couldn't find a card for you.

No, I didn't know.

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Gallagher,

but you see this class is restricted to enrolled students.

Of course, if you, uh, care to register,

you can always make arrangements at the office.

Excuse me.

Good night, Mr. Gallagher.

CORY In paragraph five she says, "Many of the customers."

shouldn't she identify them?

- You mean here? - Yes.

Uh, yes, that's right. As I mentioned before, Miss Gross,

whenever possible, give the names.

All right. Lights, please.

My card.

Oh.

Yes, well... Um...

Uh...

What do I do now?

Uh, yes, well, um...

Uh, I'm not quite sure what to do with you.

Um, you see, everyone's written a news article.

Maybe you could listen to the criticisms.

Couldn't I try writing one?

Oh, well, no, that wouldn't be fair.

You see, you haven't had the benefit of any discussions...

I read papers all the time. It doesn't look so hard.

Oh, you're mistaken, Mr. Gallagher.

Good newspaper writing

is a highly specialized technique.

Oh, let me take a whack at it.

You can't kill a fellow for trying.

All right.

Here are the salient facts about a recent piece of news.

I would like you to write 250 words or so.

You can use that desk in the rear, if you will.

Oh, by the way, do you type?

Well, you know...

Well, there's no rush.

If you don't finish tonight,

you can always work on it over the weekend.

Fair enough.

"Doesn't look so hard"?

Get a load of him.

I don't mean to criticize

because his story was so much better than mine,

but, uh, but don't you think the first part is, uh,

too long getting to the point?

Yes, that's right, Mr. APPINO.

Do you understand that, Mr. Cory?

Yes, I do.

Well, let's just sum it up by saying that...

That the reader's interest must always be captured

as soon as possible in the lead.

Uh, Mr. Gallagher, I'm afraid you misunderstood me.

I said 250 words.

I said it all in 150. Is that bad?

No, but...

Well, you know what they say:

"News writing is literature in a hurry."

Uh, five minutes?

I'm not used to the machine.

Mr. Gallagher, you're not taking this work very seriously.

You can't have given it much thought.

Well, I did the best I could.

Sit down, please.

Yes, ma'am.

I think we'll read Mr. Gallagher's article next.

I'm not sure I can read it as fast as he wrote it, but...

"A trigger-happy teenager bent on robbery

"shot Jerome Heffner, 62, at 5:30 p.m. yesterday

"and left him bleeding to death on the sidewalk

"in front of his grocery store

"at 286 East 110 Street.

"Within minutes after the shooting,

"Rosario Salas, 17, was captured

"in an alley behind the store and brought to Heffner's side.

"'That's the one, ' cried Heffner, pointing at Salas.

"Heffner had been robbed twice before in the past 18 months.

"'I just couldn't take it no more, '

The dying grocer told Sgt. Dan O'Rourke of the homicide squad.

"'When this crazy kid waves his gun at me

"'and says to give him my money,

"I just threw the dollar bills right in his face.'

"The young assailant is the oldest of nine children

"of widowed Mrs. Hermonita Salas, 623 Cerdo Street.

"He was held for investigation of murder.

"'I didn't mean to hurt nobody, ' Salas told Sgt. O'Rourke,

"'But when he threw the money at me, I don't know,

"'people been throwing things in my face all my life.

I guess I couldn't take it no more.'"

I think Mr. Gallagher deserves an apology.

I accused him of not being serious, and I was wrong.

This is a remarkable first effort.

In fact, Mr. Gallagher has written

one of the best news articles I've ever had in my class.

This piece covers everything that I've been talking about.

Not only does Mr. Gallagher answer

the what, when, where, who, why, and how,

he puts them in such a sequence

that a routine news item

takes on all of the impact of a short short story.

Now, let us look for a moment

at how Mr. Gallagher constructed his story.

In journalism, there are two basic patterns...

Boy, I wish I could write like that.

It really had impact. It was excellent.

Without labeling it,

you pointed out the entire minority problem.

Just great, man. Great.

I was just lucky, I guess.

See you the next time, boy.

Wonderful. Good night.

Uh, excuse me. I was just wondering if I left a book here.

But I guess not.

I'm glad you came back, Mr. Gallagher. I was...

Do you have a moment?

Certainly.

Well, I've just been reading your story again and it's...

It's absolutely amazing to think

you've had no experience.

Well, I sold papers as a kid

and, oh, I play poker every week with a friend of mine,

a reporter. That's all.

Well, it's just excellent.

Oh, but there is one thing, Mr. Gallagher.

In the future, use triple space.

That's the way they do it on newspapers.

Oh, they do? Oh, yes.

Thanks, I'll remember.

And, of course, phrases like "trigger-happy"

are a bit hackneyed,

but we'll get rid of those clichés, won't we?

Now, what business are you in?

Uh, paper. Uh, wallpaper.

Wallpaper.

And why are you taking this course?

In other words, just what are you after?

Uh, well, that's pretty hard to put into words.

To tell you the truth,

I didn't want to come here in the first place.

My boss forced me to do it.

See, he's planning on getting out a weekly down at the plant.

You know, "Dottie Sprink from Shipping

"and Harry Harper from Legal

have decided to tie the knot."

That sort of drivel.

Oh.

Well, naturally I was hoping that...

You mean, you're really not interested in...

Oh, no, no, no, I didn't say that.

But, uh, I must admit

I was pretty teed off the first time I came here.

My friend, the reporter,

uh, he said that you'd be a frustrated old biddy

who'd read the textbooks and never written a line.

And taking a course from someone like that

would be like betting on a three-legged horse, he said.

Uh, then you must've agreed with that letter

of Mr. Gannon's that I read.

Oh, no, no, no. I wouldn't go as far as he, but,

you know, you were pretty rough on him,

awfully rough, and I don't think he meant...

Rough?

I should have been a lot rougher. Why, I've never heard...

Well, he's no bum, you know.

He's pretty well thought of. My friend, the reporter,

he says he's one of the best...

But he still considers journalism a trade.

It's not a trade, Mr. Gallagher. It's a profession.

And the basic fundamentals can be taught

the same as in medicine.

But Mr. Gannon doesn't agree. Oh, no!

He'd like to see surgeons operating at the age of 10

and learn by trial and error.

Now wait a minute.

I'm sure he thought you had a lot of fakers here

but if he could talk to you for five minutes...

I won't waste my time.

He'd know that you had real newspaper experience.

Of course, I've had experience,

and so has every instructor in this school!

Now wait a minute, you don't have to sell me.

After last week... Oh, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have gotten so angry. Forgive me.

It's just that... Oh, that's all right.

But, you know, there's one thing I can't quite figure.

What?

How could you give up a real newspaper job for teaching?

Well, that's a very good question, Mr. Gallagher.

Maybe for the same reason

that occasionally a musician wants to be a conductor.

He wants to hear a 100 people play music

the way he hears it.

If I can influence a few students

who might some day become reporters

and eventually editors...

Well, I think it's worth a try.

I have my own ideas about what newspapers should be

and I know they can be a great deal better than they are.

Oh, look at this. Blood and sex.

Journalism is so much more than blood and sex.

You liked my story about that murder.

That's "blood," isn't it?

I didn't say I disapprove of blood, it's just that...

How do you feel about sex?

Well, I'm all for it. But some...

Good night, Mr. Gallagher.

Good night, professor.

What?

No! No, no, no, I am listening.

Repeat that address again.

Uh, 9795th Avenue.

Who's free?

GARTNER.

Um...

GARTNER.

Yeah. Yeah, I got it.

I'll shoot someone over right away.

Yeah?

I almost forgot. Press conference.

Got some visiting fireman from Russia.

Grab a cameraman. I told them we'd be right over.

Okay.

What's the matter?

Well, that's one way to end the Cold War.

How's this?

Fine. I'll give you the name...

Yup. Yeah.

This is the Chronicle.

You have a Professor Stone there.

All right, instructor. Initials E.R.

Uh, what's the first name, please?

Erica.

Mmm. Uh, married or single?

Good. I mean, uh,

switch me over there, will you, please?

Miss Stone's office. Who's calling?

Who?

Well, I, uh...

Uh, just one moment, please.

It's James Gannon of the Chronicle.

He's here?

On the phone. He says can he drop by tonight?

There's something he'd like to explain.

Tell him to write me another letter.

Hello?

Write another letter.

Hello! Hello!

All right, doll,

if that's the only way you'll play.

Oh, Mr. Gallagher.

Oh, hello.

I, uh, I want to thank you for the lovely flowers.

It was a pleasure.

Well, it really wasn't necessary, you know.

Besides being wrong about Kipling,

I wanted to apologize for last time. I was an awful sass.

Oh, not at all, Mr. Gallagher.

It's, uh, very stimulating for a teacher

to find a student with an inquiring mind,

you know, someone who challenges her,

asks questions.

Well, uh, in that case,

there's one more question I'd like to ask.

What do I have to do to get kept after school again?

Well, I was wondering if you'd

stay after class tonight for a private conference?

I have a proposition to make to you, Mr. Gallagher.

Hi, Gallagher. How's it goin'?

Fine.

Miss Stone's office.

Hello.

She has someone in conference, Dr. Pine, but I'll buzz.

Oh, no, I'm sure she won't mind.

No, that's all right.

You think you can get the tickets?

Well, if you can, I'd love it.

What?

Yes, call me back, will you?

I'm sorry. He's very amusing.

Now, Mr. Gallagher, I think I mentioned to you

that the dean was greatly impressed with your news story.

And he believes that anyone with your natural ability

should be allowed the privilege of taking on extra work.

That's the proposition?

Yes. Think of it. Well, it's a chance for you

to practically cover two semesters in one.

No, no, no, I don't...

You'd have to have private instruction.

Oh, I'd work very closely with you.

Well, in that case...

Um, do you have any free time during the day?

No, I am afraid we'd have to work together at night.

All right. On your way out,

Miss Fuller can set up an appointment schedule for you.

Now, let's see...

What sort of thing would you like to tackle next?

Well, I...

I want you to get the feel of investigative reporting.

To learn to root out the hidden reasons and facts.

Expand that piece you wrote.

Do an interpretative follow-up of about 2,000 words.

Two thousand? That's an awful lot of work.

Isn't it? Yes, it is.

But as my father used to say,

"A reporter has to do a lot of sweating,

before he earns the right to perspire."

You keep mentioning your father. What did he do?

He ran a country newspaper.

Well, of course, I don't know much about this sort of thing,

but my friend I told you about, you know, the reporter?

He says nobody's interested in a rehash like this.

After all, it happened a week ago.

Doing another story on it would be like, uh,

trying to make a salad out of old lettuce.

Uh, excuse me for saying this, Mr. Gallagher,

but your friend's kind of reporting

went out with Prohibition.

This isn't a rehash.

I'm talking about the big why behind the story.

This is the function of a newspaper in today's world.

While TV and radio announce spot news

minutes after it happens.

Newspapers can't compete in reporting

what happened any more.

But they can and should tell the public why it happened.

What made your story so interesting?

I'll tell you. It was Salas' reason for firing the gun.

Listen to this.

"When he threw the money at me, I don't know,

"people been throwing things in my face all my life.

I guess I couldn't take it no more."

But he said it on the spot. It tied in with the story!

Young Salas gave a vague, bitter, tormented reason.

But behind that why are a hundred other whys.

One on top of another, they led to violence.

Was it because he's a member of a minority group

struggling to solve the complex problem of assimilation?

Did society at large

create the climate for this tragedy?

Mr. Gallagher, out there in the city

are some of the answers.

Files of the immigration department,

dark shadows of Central Park,

tenements,

overcrowded schools,

the jails, the police stations.

And it's your job to try to find them.

You know, that's the kind of thing you read

when you're waiting in a dentist's office.

The guy who fights his way on a subway

every night after a hard day's work,

hangs onto a strap with one hand

and a newspaper with the other,

doesn't want to wade through a dull explanation...

The man on the subway is a lot more curious than you think.

You ask anybody

except that outdated reporter friend of yours,

and you'll find that today the average man wants to know why.

Please, Mr. Gallagher, won't you try writing it?

All right.

But couldn't we go someplace

and have a cup of coffee and talk it over?

No, thank you. I've, uh, got to get home.

I have a lot of reading and...

Only take a few minutes.

Maybe you could show me how to start.

No, no, no. This is what's called in the trade

a think piece and I want your thinking.

I know you've... Excuse me.

Hello.

You got the tickets. Well, that's wonderful.

They were sold out weeks ago, I thought.

You know, you're fantastic.

What?

That's lovely. Yes.

Hold on a second, will you?

Good night, Mr. Gallagher, and good luck.

Yes.

What time shall I expect you?

Good night.

Good night.

Well, I just think it's great.

You're supposed to put me down for an evening conference.

Tomorrow night would be, uh, good for me.

Let's see. No. Tomorrow night, Dr. Pine.

Saturday night, Dr. Pine.

What's with this Dr. Pine. Doesn't she feel well?

You're Tuesday at 9:30.

Seven would be better for me.

Perhaps we could have dinner together, you know and...

Nine-thirty.

Concert, Dr. Pine, Tuesday. I'll put it down.

Yes, I'll be right in.

You're now Wednesday at 9:30.

Here's the advance Jim Bacon AP story.

Drama.

Sorry, Jim, haven't got a quarter.

Broke even tonight, didn't play. Anything?

Nothing much.

They found a homemade bomb in a locker at Grand Central.

No damage.

Must be that same screwball.

Tell me, why does a guy do a thing like that?

What difference does it make? He did it.

Uh, give me some coffee, please.

There's got to be a reason.

I keep sayin' to myself, "Why, why?"

I, uh, need some stuff, Bill,

on the local Puerto Rican situation.

Want me to check the clips?

No, no, no. I know what we've got in the morgue.

I need more intimate stuff:

Census figures on family income,

housing, employment,

uh, survey on prejudice,

uh, police, uh, statistics...

You mean like for a think piece?

Yeah, like for a think piece.

I doubt if we have anything up-to-date

enough for that. We never use it.

I can round up something tomorrow if you...

I wanted it tonight.

Why?

I'm going to school. I need it for my homework.

You ask a silly question, you get a silly answer.

Yeah.

Mr. Gannon?

Beg your pardon, Mr. Gannon,

but I couldn't help overhearing...

Well?

I think I might have what you're looking for.

Where?

Right here in my desk, sir.

There's quite a bit on that Puerto Rican situation.

Getting more explosive every day.

Got anything on that kid

that killed the grocer at 110th Street about a week ago?

The Salas boy. Yes, sir.

Uh, give me a think piece,

about 2,000 words on the factors and conditions

that led to the killing.

Yes, sir.

Soon as you get the lead finished, let me see it.

Yes, sir.

I can't seem to get it out of my mind, Mr. Gannon.

What?

Why does a guy do a thing like that?

Maybe he was sore at the world, that's why.

I'm sore at the world, too,

but I don't go around planting bombs.

Let me speak to Miss Erica Stone's office, please.

There's got to be a reason behind it.

The bomb was heavy. He got tired of carrying it around

so he put it in the locker.

Only costs a dime, you know.

Hello. Uh, let me speak to Miss Erica Stone, please.

She's gone home.

I'm sorry, Mr. Gallagher, I can't give you her address.

Not without faculty authorization.

But, uh, I've finished

the first paragraph of my assignment

and, uh, I just wanted to drop by her place

for a few minutes

and, uh, see if I was on the right track.

If you mean the inside track, the answer is no.

Dr. Hugo Pine is coming along fast on that one. Good night.

Dr. Hugo Pine.

How's the fan mail this morning?

Fine. I just got more for you.

Thank you.

Hello, Barney. How are you this morning?

How are you, Miss Fletcher. Fine, thank you.

Got a lot of mail there this morning.

Good morning. Good morning, Harold.

Get me everything you can on him.

Dr. Hugo Pine.

P-I-N-E?

Right. Hurry it up, will you, Tess?

Here's the rest of that Salas story.

Take you all night? Yes, sir.

You should have knocked it out faster.

After all, how long does it take to say we need better housing,

bigger playgrounds and more schools?

Well, I wanted to talk to Salas' mother.

I got there early while they were still asleep.

I wanted to find something out. I was right.

They were living eight in one room.

That's against the housing law.

The landlord's a gouger.

There's a $40 rent ceiling for one room,

but he takes another 40 under the table.

It was that 40 the boy was after

when he killed the old man.

Okay.

What's your name?

Miller. Harold Miller.

All right, Miller.

Roy, put Miller back on the day side.

Okay, Jim.

Gannon.

Here's that information you wanted on Dr. Hugo Pine.

"Special consultant,

"psychological warfare, U.S. Army.

"Member, governor's committee on state mental hospitals.

"Chairman, mayor's investigating committee

on juvenile delinquency. Head of..."

When did he win the Nobel Prize?

He also writes books.

Yeah, I guess I could have the bookstore send them up to you.

Any particular ones?

Whatever he's written.

Okay, I'll take care of it right away.

Oh, Gladys. Gladys, get me the bookstore.

Thanks a lot!

All right.

What's that?

The books you ordered, by Dr. Hugo Pine.

I said one copy of each.

That's what you got, Mr. Gannon.

And here's the bill. $83.40.

Eighty-three...?

"The Psychoneurotic Manifestations

of Abnormal Cultural Patterns."

Well, I...

Just catching up on a little reading.

"The Mind in a Primitive Environment."

"Symptoms and Syndromes"?

Yeah, like Burns and Allen.

"The Effects of Frustration on the American Woman."

That is the story of my life.

That I gotta read.

"Formulation and..."

What does this guy do, write in double talk?

Must have taken him a good 60 years

to write all this stuff.

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, with no time off for bad behavior.

Hey, the old boy must be about ready to retire on his pension.

Hey, wait a minute.

Here's a picture of the guy.

Brother!

What is this?

Doesn't anyone do any work around this joint any more?

I'll read it during lunch.

Uh, Mr. Gannon? Yeah?

I was wondering if, uh... Well, um...

Roy said it was all right with him if it was all right with you

that, uh, I could try writing a few obituaries.

Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

And here's a great one to start on:

Dr. Hugo Pine.

Uh, how did he die?

I haven't decided yet.

What's a five-letter word for New Zealand parrot?

I know I don't have an appointment with her

but I just want to see her for a couple of minutes.

She's reading the rest of your story.

She'll see you when she's done.

But I want to see her about something else.

It won't take more than...

Oh. Oh, sorry.

Come in.

Mr. Gallagher, I'm so excited about this piece.

Well, thanks. It's a brilliant job.

I've just been comparing it with these other stories and...

Well, you don't know what it means

for a teacher to find someone like you.

Oh, it wasn't so good. Awfully long, I thought.

Oh, it could stand a little work.

And I'd love to sit here with you and work on...

Okay, let's. Do you mind if I take my coat...

No, I'm sorry I have a dinner appointment.

It's a friend's birthday.

As a matter of fact, I'm late already.

But before you go,

I want you to make me a promise.

What's that?

That you'll give up the wallpaper business

and really make a stab at reporting.

No, no, I don't think...

I'll help you in every way that I can.

Mr. Gallagher, I've never before

asked a night class student to do this.

I'm so sure about you.

Why, these pieces you wrote are good enough

to be printed in any paper in this town. Really they are.

Before I take a step like that,

shouldn't I prepare myself a little more?

I didn't mean tomorrow. Take some other subjects?

Of course. English. History is valuable.

What about, uh, psychology?

Excellent.

Any particular class or teacher?

Well, it's a little late for this semester,

but Dr. Pine is here at the university.

He's one of the most eminent men in the country.

No, no, I don't get along with eggheads like that.

Not Hugo. Hugo?

Dr. Pine.

He's a delightful, unassuming, wonderful person.

Yeah. As a matter of fact,

he's the one I'm having dinner with tonight.

I'll mention it to him.

I'm sure there's something that he could suggest.

Hmm. No doubt.

But, Mr. Gallagher, you do think that

someday you really might consider

giving up what you've been doing?

Someday?

I'm giving it up right now.

I can see I've been wasting my time.

Mr. Gallagher, I'm delighted.

Let's shake on it.

Mr. Gallagher!

So long, professor.

Cigars? Cigarettes?

Cigars? Cigarettes?

Cigars? Cigarettes?

What kind would you like, sir?

These days a girl's gotta know

all about deductibles, capital gainses,

things like that,

or she can wind up working for the government.

Hmm.

What do you think?

Hmm.

Huh? What?

Never mind. You've been thinking enough today.

Someone you know?

Slightly.

Who's the character with her? Hmm?

He's dreamy. Must be from Hollywood.

He's a psychologist.

No kidding!

Well, what do you know?

It just shows you, you can't tell by looks.

Jimsy, what's a psychologist?

A guy who gives all kinds of advice

about things he knows nothing about.

So he's got more degrees than a thermometer.

So he speaks seven languages.

So he's read every book.

So what?

The important thing is he's had no experience.

He didn't start at the bottom and work up.

That's the only way you can learn.

You're so right, Jimsy. Take me.

Where would I be if I just read books?

Well, I gotta go get undressed.

Coming over after?

Talk to him about anything but psychology,

and I bet you he's a dead pigeon.

Don't get mad at me.

I've got plenty of experience.

Yeah. That's what I like about you.

Coming over after?

You got a date.

Just thought I'd drop by and say,

"happy birthday."

Oh, Mr. Gallagher, how thoughtful of you.

This is Dr. Pine.

How do you do? How do you do?

Mr. Gallagher's the star pupil I was telling you about.

Oh, yes. He's very advanced.

Won't you join us for a drink?

Don't mind if I do. Scotch.

Erica?

Nothing, thanks. I'm doing just fine.

Waiter. Yes, sir?

Two scotches.

Where's your friend?

Who?

Oh, you mean Miss Defore?

She had to go backstage. She sings here.

Oh!

She's very pretty.

Very talented too. I'm sure.

Really a delightful, unassuming, wonderful person.

Congratulations on Symptoms and Syndromes.

That ought to sweep the country.

Have you read it? Hasn't everyone?

Well, I doubt it.

I haven't been able to get through it myself. Heh.

Miss Stone mentioned that you might be interested

in taking an elementary psychology course.

No, I changed my mind. Just a waste of time.

Well, I agree with you.

Those lectures can be mighty dull.

I know. I give them.

I could suggest a course of reading for you.

Give you twice as much in half the time.

And it'd be a pleasure for you.

There wouldn't be a single book written by me.

Cigars? Cigarettes?

Oh, ahem. Cheers!

Cheers.

Cheers.

Cigars?

Then he spears this hot line drive,

runs over and touches second,

then dives over and tags the runner sliding in.

It was in 1921.

The only unassisted triple play

in World Series history.

His name was Bill, um...

Wambsganss.

Yeah.

Wasn't that the 1920 series?

'21.

No, no, it was the '20 series, now that I think of it.

I remember reading about it. Cleveland against the Dodgers.

The Indians took five games.

That year they first played a five out of nine game series.

Of course, they did it again in '21, but the following year

they went back to best four out of seven.

Waiter! Round.

We were on the bridge. The admiral and I looked off

and there was a kamikaze

headed straight for the Enterprise

coming in low... Isn't that a coincidence!

I was on the Enterprise at the time.

What a day. What a day that was.

I remember I was topside at that particular moment.

I was on duty at the time...

Would you like to dance?

Of course. Just go right ahead.

Excuse us.

It's the mambo.

What's the matter?

Oh, it's a bit crowded, you know.

It doesn't look too dangerous.

Where's your sense of adventure?

If you'll excuse us.

Looks like they're getting ready to start the floor show.

Yeah, good. Uh, cheers.

Right.

Same table? Triples yet.

Where's he puttin' them? Where are we gonna put him?

Oh, try it. It's very simple.

How about you, sir?

Well, I'll try.

Aah!

Whoa!

That was a watutsi tribal rhythm.

It's played at victory celebrations.

To the watutsis.

Now a little change from the Afro-Cuban rhythm.

Ladies and gentlemen, the gal who invented

rock 'n' roll, Miss Peggy Defore!

♪ At the college Campus scene ♪

♪ I was elected campus queen ♪

♪ And I got A degree for anatomy ♪

♪ Directly from the dean ♪

♪ I drove That professor insane ♪

♪ With my extraordinary ♪

♪ Scientific brain ♪

♪ Oh, I'm the girl ♪

♪ Yes, I'm the girl ♪

♪ Oh, I'm the girl ♪

♪ Who invented rock 'n' roll ♪

♪ Oh, I'm the dame ♪

♪ The dame to blame ♪

♪ Yes, I'm the girl ♪

♪ Who invented rock 'n' roll ♪

♪ Now, you've heard Of instant coffee ♪

♪ You've heard Of instant tea ♪

♪ See here, you guys, Just feast your eyes ♪

♪ On little old instant me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the she ♪

♪ You're lookin' at me ♪

♪ I'm the girl ♪

♪ Who invented rock 'n' roll ♪

♪ I'm the girl Who inaugurated rock ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll ♪♪

Don't worry. She'll be back again.

Say, she is talented.

Yeah.

Oh, dear. Here, let me help you.

I'm sorry.

Oh, here, here. That's all right.

We'll order another round. Waiter!

I think we've all had enough, Mr. Gallagher.

What's the matter, can't take it?

Oh, it's a very strange thing.

I once did some research

on the psychological aspects of inebriation.

I've developed what you might call

a mental control of liquor's effects.

I can drink any amount at all,

and it doesn't bother me a bit.

Well, it doesn't bither me a bot, either!

Thank you. Thanks.

It's been lovely.

Waiter!

Oh, you leaving too?

Yes. Can we give you a lift?

No, it's all right. It's all right.

It's all right. It's all right.

Can I give you a little help with your friend?

No. I'll manage. Just get us a cab.

Yes, sir.

Let us give you a lift home, old man.

Don't old man me, old man!

I'll be okay. Of course you will.

All you need is a bit of oxygen.

Here, just take a good, deep breath of air. Like this.

Hugo, are you all right?

Oh!

May I come in?

Just a minute.

Come in.

Will this help?

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

For him? Oh, nothing will help him.

How do you feel?

I never sobered up so fast in all my life.

Seeing him in the gutter

was better than a Turkish bath.

Well, I never... What happened?

Oxygen. It'll do it every time.

Oh, dear, and he has a 8:00 class in the morning.

Not tomorrow morning.

Why don't you cross with the light sometime?

You'll find it a wonderful experience!

You know, you were right about Pine.

He's quite a guy.

Yes, he is.

Good at everything. Mmm.

Sometimes that's quite a strain.

Strain?

Yes, you keep wanting him to miss.

Just once.

Like tonight, I think I liked him best of all

when he fell flat on his face.

You know what I mean?

I know what you mean.

Oh, dear.

It makes people human

to do something wrong once in a while.

Like you.

Me?

This evening, in my office.

Oh.

Not that I'm for encouraging that sort of thing,

you understand. No, of course not.

The teacher-student relationship

is a very complex one.

Hmm, very. You, um...

You have to be, um, friendly and

yet keep your distance at the same time.

Sure. Sure.

Otherwise, um, how would you

ever, um, um, maintain discipline?

Hmm, it'd be tough.

Thank you so much for bringing me home.

It was very nice of you and I had a...

Cup of coffee?

I could use one.

Would you like to see the view?

If the view, if you lean out far enough, it's not bad.

Not bad in here, either.

You know, I could kill that secretary of yours.

She had me convinced that you and the doctor

were about to become a vital statistic.

Hugo?

Hugo and I are collaborating on a book.

Oh! Yes.

The psychological factors of newspaper readership.

Say, that's a pretty racy title.

You, um, like a bite to eat with that coffee?

You can set the table, if you will.

Are you sure it's not too much trouble?

Only takes a minute. Instant cof...

Now, you've heard of instant coffee.

And I know you've heard of instant tea.

♪ Well, all you guys Just feast your eyes ♪

♪ On little old instant me ♪

I haven't known her very long.

Oh, really?

She's a friend of that reporter I told you about.

Oh, that's where you met her. Oh!

♪ 'Cause I'm the girl ♪

♪ Who invented rock 'n' roll ♪

Nice kid. Supports an invalid mother.

Is that right? Oh, now, that's sweet.

♪ 'Cause I'm the she ♪

♪ You're looking at me ♪

♪ Yes, I'm the girl ♪

♪ Who invented Rock 'n' roll ♪

And another thing.

Take the knife out of my back.

♪ 'Cause I'm the dame ♪

♪ The dame to blame ♪

♪ Yes, I'm the girl ♪

♪ Who invented rock 'n' roll ♪

She's off on Mondays.

Maybe you could fill in for her.

Well, I think that would be very nice.

I'll invite the whole class.

Oh, where's another chair?

In there.

♪ 'Cause I'm the dame ♪

♪ The dame to blame ♪

♪ Yes, I'm the girl ♪

♪ Who invented rock 'n' roll ♪♪

"Joel Barlow Stone."

You found me out, huh?

Joel Barlow Stone. Erica Stone.

What did your father do?

He ran a country newspaper.

That's all it was.

The Eureka Bulletin.

A country newspaper read around the world.

I never tied it up. You and...

I'm glad.

At least I know you didn't come to class

because I'm my father's daughter.

That small one's the editorial he wrote

when he won the Pulitzer Prize.

The Bulletin's front page, the last one.

That was on his desk as long as I can remember.

What's the matter?

Uh, nothing.

It's just that I feel like a would-be inventor

going through Edison's workshop.

People always talk about him

as if he were some sort of a giant.

You know something?

He was just a hard-headed Hoosier

with a way of putting his finger on the truth.

I think you'd have liked him, Jim.

I know he'd have liked you.

Of course, I never read his newspaper,

but I certainly read about him.

I've got stacks of old copies.

Some day we'll go through them if you'd like.

Believe me, this is an education in itself.

I'll bet it is.

That's what this book

that I'm writing with Dr. Pine is about.

To show why the Bulletin was so great.

It's sort of a blueprint of journalism

for students to read and follow.

I once asked you why you took up teaching.

I can see now.

Yes, I want to get across his ideas.

What a newspaper meant to him.

Jim, I'd like you to keep it.

It should belong to a good newspaperman.

I ain't. But you will be.

You know, my father always said I had

a better nose for newspapermen than for news.

I can't take that.

Yes, you can.

Consider it a bribe, huh?

Bribe? Yes.

For you to stick to the decision that you made tonight.

Look, I know it isn't easy to give up

a steady job for something that seems like a gamble.

But I have so much faith in you, Jim.

I want to help you get started... No.

I'll do everything... I can't.

But I want to. Don't you understand?

Jim,

this morning you were just a very talented pupil.

But tonight...

I think we're being whistled at.

How about some, um, raspberries?

We have a little, um,

scrambled eggs?

Bacon and tomato sandwich?

Mr. Gallagher, you're pretty hard to please, I must say.

Oh, dear, that's had it.

Say, how about some waffles?

If I do say so myself, I make very good hot...

Jim?

Oh!

Oh!

Morning.

Hangover?

Calling what I have a hangover

is like referring to the Johnstown flood

as a slight drizzle.

I'm sorry you missed that 8:00 class.

I may miss the whole semester.

What do you want?

Well, I just wanted to see how you felt.

I was wondering if there's...

Do you mind if I have some coffee?

If you don't rattle the cup and saucer.

Please.

I've tried some morning-after cure-alls

in my time, but this is about the most...

The recipe was given to me by an anthropologist.

It's a mixture used by

a tribe of cannibals in the Melanesian Islands.

They drink this brew

whenever they eat a poisoned enemy.

Of course, it really should be made with a lizard egg.

But you can't have everything.

Now, what do you want?

Well, this friend of mine...

Please,

don't shout.

I wasn't shouting.

To my ears, at the moment,

you sound like a parade of banshees.

Well, you're an authority on human behavior.

I thought so until last night.

I mean you've made a study of the reactions

of individuals under certain conditions.

Also mice.

Well. This, uh... This friend of mine,

Max, uh, uh, Minnick,

uh, he, uh, he came to me the other day with

a personal problem. He wanted my advice.

Well, I didn't know what to tell him.

It's, uh, uh...

I have a feeling if he doesn't handle this just right,

he's in real trouble.

You see, he met this girl...

Yeah, that's quite a problem.

I would advise that...

Oh, there's more?

Now, this girl knew Max only by name,

and she hated his guts.

So in order to get anyplace, he used a phony name,

Uh, uh, Max Martin.

They've been getting along great,

but it can't go on like this.

What should he do?

Well, it all depends.

Is he in love with her, or is this merely

a transitory amour?

Well, it started out as a sort of a hit-and-run proposition

but he didn't, uh...

Yeah.

I guess you could say

he was sort of in love with her.

Is he planning to marry her?

Oh, no, no, no. Max isn't the marrying kind.

Yet he didn't take advantage of this

hit-and-run proposition.

It's therefore obvious that Max has affection

and a deep respect toward this lady.

Oh, yeah, he's got that.

Well, she's just not one of those dames, you know.

In that case, it's entirely possible

that he might find a respectable union

such as marriage,

not completely repugnant to him.

Well, I never thought of Max as the sort that...

Hey, you might have a point there, doc.

And Max might have more character

and probity than you give him credit for.

Could be.

Excuse me.

I'll get it.

Well, um,

what should Max do, doc?

Under the circumstances,

I would advise him to be completely honest

and reveal everything.

You would, huh?

If she's half the woman he thinks she is,

she'll understand and forgive him.

After all, the man's the same.

Only the names have been changed

to protect the guilty.

But he must do it right away.

Yeah.

If she finds out by herself, Max gets the ax.

All right. Thanks.

I'll, uh, tell Max.

Goodbye, doc.

Goodbye, Max.

How'd you know?

Why, I'm hungover, not unconscious.

But I didn't say one word that you could...

You're forgetting last night.

I didn't say anything last night that...

But she did.

The minute I picked her up,

I knew instantly something new had been added.

To begin with, she forgot to say,

"happy birthday."

And all she could talk about

was this unusual new student of hers.

Every time I changed the subject,

she came right back to it. She did?

Constantly, Mr. Gallagher, or Minnick,

or Martin, or whatever your name is.

Well, my real name's Gannon.

Oh!

Gannon of the insulting letter?

You know about that, too?

She showed it to me the moment she received it.

As a matter of fact, I told her

what to say to the class in reply.

So you were the one.

Say, you said some pretty rotten things about me.

No, she didn't use my reply, because I agreed with you.

To me, journalism

is, uh, like a hangover.

You can read about it for years

but until you've actually experienced it,

you have no conception of what it's really like.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I felt,

but I've got to admit

I'm beginning to think there's something

to this education bit too.

The rest of your letter, however, I found

filled with puerility, guilt, and insecurity,

revealing you, psychologically speaking,

a complete mess.

Now wait a minute.

No. Now, it's useless for you to hit me.

I'm going to die anyway.

Just leave me alone and let me expire in peace.

Goodbye, and don't slam the door.

Oh, uh, another thing.

Don't feel too badly about passing out last night.

I gave that waiter five bucks to spike your drinks.

Oh! Now I understand.

I only gave him $2 to spike yours.

Jim, the colonel's been calling you.

All right.

Jim, the colonel wants to see you.

All right.

Jim, the colonel's been calling you.

I know.

Barney!

Gladys, get me...

Yeah, I know he wants me.

Get me this call first.

Miss Erica Stone, Plaza 3-5-5-9-8.

Yeah, that's right.

Call the barber and tell him I'll be down

in an hour for a haircut and a manicure, all right.

Good morning, Mr. Gannon.

Get this hat cleaned and blocked and this thing pressed.

What's the matter?

Can't a guy get cleaned up once a year?

I've got some cologne in my locker.

Yeah?

Oh, she's not?

Gladys, do me a favor. Call the florist

and have him send her some roses.

He knows the address. And put on the card:

"Pick you up at 6:30." Sign it "Jim." Yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to see the colonel right now.

Send him right in.

You better cancel that luncheon engagement.

I don't think I can make it.

Colonel.

Well, glad you came right in, Jim.

I've someone here I want you to meet.

Her father was an old friend of mine.

Erica, this is Jim Gannon,

the best city editor in the business, for my money.

Jim, this is Miss Stone. She teaches journalism,

which makes us all related in a way, doesn't it?

Miss Stone has come to ask a favor of me.

She's quite excited about a student of hers,

A fellow called, uh... What was that name again?

Gallagher.

Ah, yes.

It seems this Gallagher is quite exceptional.

Miss Stone brought along some things he wrote.

Class work, you know.

Very good, she says. I'll read them tonight.

Now then, it seems to be generally known

that you have some, uh,

well, shall we say resistance to college-trained personnel.

Miss Stone is quite aware of that.

But she feels this particular fellow

is so outstanding,

he may be just the one to change your attitude.

Colonel, I...

I wonder if I could talk to Miss Stone for a few minutes?

Why, of course.

I mean alone.

I'd like to correct

any misconceptions she might have.

Huh, that's a very good idea.

I'll bring her in to you in a few minutes.

We have a bit more catching up to do before I give her up.

But, colonel, I...

And thank you, Jim, for your cooperation.

You know who I had a letter from today?

John Baldwin.

He was an old friend of your father's.

I remember when the three of us went to Europe together.

That was in, oh, 1927.

Now look, Erica, before you blow your top,

I just want to...

What's the matter? Aren't you angry?

No, I'm not angry.

I just feel a little bruised,

as if I'd been kicked.

I'm sorry, Erica, I was going...

You don't have to explain, Mr. Gannon.

I'm sure to you and the boys,

it was a very funny practical joke.

You may have even bet a few dollars

that you could make the professor look like an idiot.

Well, you did.

Now why don't you go collect your bets and leave me alone?

All right, I admit it started out as a joke,

but that didn't last long.

Why do you think I left your apartment

so suddenly last night?

Oh, I'm sure you had a pang of conscience.

I doubt if anyone...

I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already had.

What you did to me is unimportant.

But what you did to the other students is inexcusable.

They pay their tuition which they can ill afford.

And after working hard at other jobs all day long,

they study or they come to class

because they'll sacrifice anything

to gain a little more knowledge.

Now, wait a minute...

Oh, I don't expect you to understand, Mr. Gannon.

You're stupid,

and I think you're proud of it.

And this makes you cruel.

And now, may I leave, if you're finished?

Are you finished now?

Roy, here's that Women's Federation story.

What about this, Jim?

Oh, handle it any way you want.

I do something wrong?

No.

Look, yell at me, swear at me,

but please don't be quiet and polite.

It's not like you, Jim.

Sorry. I'll watch myself.

They look like new, Mr. Gannon.

Hang them on the cabinet, will you?

Yes, sir.

Well, it's wet and warm anyway, Jim.

Mr. Gannon? Yeah.

Ahem. Wanna look over the obituaries I did?

Roy says they're not bad.

Whenever you get time.

Barney, sit down a minute.

Barney,

I've been thinking it over

and I've decided that your mother is right.

I think you better go back and finish school.

My mother's...

Now, let's put it this way.

You'll only be quitting for a few years

and when you want to come back...

I won't quit.

Then I'll have to fire you.

Just when I'm getting started?

You won't do any worse with an education

and you might do a lot better.

What's wrong with this stuff?

Just tell me... Just tell me one thing.

Well, for one thing,

how do you spell "philanthropist"?

How'd you learn to spell "philanthropist"?

The way I learned to spell everything else.

One lousy letter at a time.

But the hard way isn't always the best way.

I'm not sure it ever is.

You've always told me experience

is the most important thing that...

Experience is the jockey.

Education is the horse.

You'll find out there are a lot of other places in the world

beside this City Room.

You only spend eight hours a day here.

If you're lucky, you sleep eight.

That leaves eight hours more

to talk to other people about other things.

And if all you know is newspapers,

you'll always be excusing yourself

and leaving the table.

I've spent one-third of my life

going to, staying in,

and coming back from men's rooms.

And that's not going to happen to you.

You're fired!

Oh.

Max got the ax.

I know, she called me.

I tried to tell her of your belated surge of honesty,

but she wouldn't listen.

Am I interrupting you working?

No, merely trying to get my mind off my head.

Been going through some old copies

of her father's newspaper.

Research for the book we're doing together.

Oh, now, don't worry.

She'll forgive you eventually.

No.

When they hang in your arms like an old laundry bag,

it's all over, brother.

Nonsense. First she'll go through

the typical feminine reaction of indignation,

then indifference, then indigestion,

then insomnia.

Then she'll accept your apologies retroactively.

It's not what I've done.

It's what she's done to me.

Before, I had contempt

for eggheads like her and you.

Well, I was wrong. Brother, was I wrong.

But at least I was definitely wrong.

I was an obstinate, prejudiced,

inconsiderate, coldhearted louse!

But at least I was something!

Now that I've learned to respect your kind,

I'm just a big understanding remorseful slob.

A complete zero.

Oh, that's too bad.

Maybe you'll get over it.

Would you like a drink?

I sure would. Could I have a martini?

That's what I started on.

Well, you'll have to fix it.

Just the thought makes my head thump.

You don't know what it's like to live one way all your life,

confident that you're right,

and then suddenly find out that you're all wrong.

I'm like a guy whose house just burned down.

I've got no place to go.

When did this feeling of inadequacy

first manifest itself?

I guess it's been creeping up on me for years,

like ivy.

But it really started

when she got me asking myself why.

Now I question everything I do.

And then this morning, she called me stupid.

Well, two weeks ago, I would have belted her.

But this morning I say to myself:

"Why did she call me stupid?"

And the answer came to me like that.

Because I am stupid.

Vermouth. Uh...

Ice. I'm sorry, I used it all.

Join me?

Oh, no, no, thanks.

Nothing in gin that can hurt you.

Best thing for your stomach.

Well, all right.

Let me make sure the window's closed first.

Gannon,

I'm gonna have to disagree with you.

You're not the least stupid.

But like so many self-made men,

you refuse to trust your own intelligence.

Intelligence? Huh.

I know chimpanzees

who have a better education than I have.

I had to cut cards with the teacher

to see if I got through the 8th grade.

You're confusing education with schooling.

Education is the acquisition of knowledge.

Which I have acquired not one ounce of.

Now, don't be so sure.

If you care to look it up, you'll find that

the definition of knowledge is "knowing,

familiarity gained by experience."

You'll also find that wisdom is defined

as "the possession of experience and knowledge."

Now, being experienced,

you therefore have education, you have knowledge

and you have wisdom. You're brilliant

and you make a good martini.

Look, look,

here, here's a press pass.

This proves that I'm a newspaperman.

Here, here's a driver's license,

this proves I've passed a driving test.

Now, you're a Ph.D.

That proves that you're an educated man.

You know, I don't even have a high school diploma.

I know, when you have one, it doesn't mean anything,

you lose it, throw it away.

But if you've never had one

and you get to my age,

it's like the Nobel Prize.

Gannon,

I've sat on many

university accreditation committees and I promise

before you leave tonight

you'll have a B.A. In lillibral arts.

Lillibral?

There's oxygen seeping into this room from some place.

Now.

The first thing we have to do

is get you through high school.

Oh, I think you're ready for college.

Now, let's try this.

Ah, that's great.

No, no, no, no,

a bachelor of arts leaves it buttoned.

When you get your master's degree

then you can wear it open. No, no, it's no use, doc.

You know, I may look like a scholar on the outside,

but inside I'm still an idiot.

No. An experienced idiot,

but I'm still an idiot.

Now, don't start doubting yourself again.

I can't help it.

I've lost all my confidence.

I'm not even sure I know anything

about the newspaper business anymore.

Maybe she's right.

Maybe my kind did go out with Prohibition.

Oh, that must be one of my students.

Why don't you just relax for a minute?

I'll get rid of him.

Hi. Good evening.

Feeling better?

Oh, yeah, yeah, a little.

How do you feel? I'm fine.

What I meant is

I'd be happy to make it another night if you like.

It doesn't bother me, really...

It's fine.

I brought some of Dad's original notes with me.

I thought it might be interesting

in chapter four to show the genesis

of some of the editorials, you know?

And, um, trace them through the first draft and a...

He's in the bedroom.

He'll be all right, I guess, in a couple of weeks.

What's the matter with him?

Oh, utterly despondent, remorseful.

Filled with contrition and ideas of self-destruction.

But, Hugo... Martini?

No, thank you.

But what surprises me is the way you treated him.

The way I treated...? What he did to me...

But you should have asked yourself why he did it.

You've taken two years of psychology from me,

you should have a little understanding of these things.

What motivated this deception of his?

A desire to humiliate and hurt me, that's what...

Never. He has a deep affection for you, Erica Stone,

but he is in rebellion against what you represent.

Here's a man in a responsible position,

who feels insecure and inferior

because he has no formal education.

He meets a teacher,

the symbol of academic achievement.

By deceiving, dominating, and outwitting the teacher,

he experiences the exhilarating feeling

of superiority.

His battered and cringing ego emerges victorious.

No.

He's not to be held in contempt,

he's to be pitied.

I just never thought of it in that way.

And you should have seen him when he came here this evening.

All of his confidence, his security completely gone.

A mere shadow of a man

doubting his very self.

You have taken this once proud and forceful man

and made of him a weakling,

bewildered and floundering in a sea of doubt.

Joel Barlow Stone.

I'm sorry, but you stink.

Now, when he comes out, be warm and understanding.

Gannon!

Gannon!

Doc, I got my confidence back.

You know what did it for me?

Reading the Eureka Bulletin.

I'm suddenly sure of what good journalism should be,

because this is one of the lousiest papers I've ever seen.

What's the matter? Your head again?

No, yours.

I'll bet he got a hold of one of those copies that came out

while your father was on his vacation.

Didn't you?

No.

And I'm not going to try to back out of this one.

I'm sorry I hurt you again,

but at least this time it was done with honesty.

Martini, anyone?

Please go on, Mr. Gannon.

I'm very interested in getting your critical opinion

of a newspaper like the Bulletin.

Well,

to begin with, it isn't even a newspaper.

It's a guy sitting around a cracker-barrel,

talking and talking and talking.

Isn't it interesting that

the Pulitzer Prize committee didn't agree with you?

He won the prize for an editorial,

and it was a brilliant job.

But he should have stuck to the editorial page

and let someone run the paper who hated words.

Now, here's a world-shaking story on page 1.

At least four columns,

all about whether those berries Art Smith was selling yesterday

were blueberries or huckleberries.

Look at this. Published twice weekly,

circulation 2,500,

one page of advertising

with no other sheet to give him competition.

That isn't a newspaper, it's a hobby!

You know,

you may not believe it, but I'm interested

in those kids you're teaching.

But in the name of Pulitzer, tell them the truth!

Tell them this is a business,

a rough, tough, fighting, clawing business.

You know, the Chronicle

has a circulation of a half million.

Each copy sells for a dime

and costs at least 10 cents to print.

We stay alive by advertising,

the same as every other paper in this town

and we battle each other for it.

I wind up with only 49 columns for news

and I won't waste four of them

on whether those berries Art Smith was selling yesterday

were blueberries or huckleberries.

You're confusing journalism with loyalty

and you're giving this paper a sentimental reverence

it doesn't deserve.

Do me a favor. Tear off the title

and forget your father wrote it.

Put in eight pages of advertising

and then take an honest blue pencil to the rest

and see what you come up with.

If it's still the same paper,

then you better put this back on his desk.

You gave it to the wrong fellow.

Leave it go, maybe the whole joint will burn.

Don't pour the coffee on it, it'll explode.

Hey, Jim, you got somebody to cover a fire?

I got a fire of my own.

The colonel just sent for me.

Hot copy.

Let it burn for an hour, it'll make a better story.

Maybe this will help.

Take it out and burn it.

Good morning, colonel.

Oh, good morning, Jim.

You remember Miss Stone.

She's come back today with an idea

which strikes me as being an excellent one.

She thought that if we...

Oh, but you go ahead, Erica.

After all, it's your idea.

Thank you, colonel. Uh...

Uh, Mr. Gannon, I've been doing a lot of thinking

and, uh, well,

when one teaches the same courses

semester after semester,

uh, one is apt to repeat certain examples

and certain concepts.

Yes, one is apt to.

And, uh, with the constant repetition,

if one is... Is not careful,

there is a danger of there becoming

dogmatic principles.

Yes, you're quite right.

Not only in teaching, my dear,

but if we're not careful we get into ruts, too.

Only this morning, at the staff meeting,

Jim made the point that

although we have to keep the Chronicle

vital and exciting and commercial,

perhaps we ought to do a little more

interpretation of the news,

give our readers a little more to think about.

Isn't that right, Jim?

But pardon me for interrupting you, dear.

Oh, that's perfectly all right, colonel.

Uh, Mr. Gannon, I was wondering

if I could prevail upon you

to give a series of guest lectures to my classes?

You know, Jim, the practical touch

added to the academic approach?

The wedding of the old pros and the eggheads.

Weren't those your words, my dear?

Heh. Exactly, colonel.

Or perhaps we could debate certain aspects of journalism.

The students might find it very stimulating.

They sure might.

Well, I'll let you two work it out.

Goodbye, my dear,

and please feel free to call on me at any time.

Oh, goodbye, colonel, and thank you very much.

Not at all. Oh, Jim,

last night I read this think piece, you know,

the one that student wrote.

It's long, but I think it's newsworthy.

Bye-bye, colonel. Goodbye.

Long, huh?

I didn't write it. One of the staff did.

To me, anything over 500 words is a novel.

When do we start this clambake?

Well, I have a class tonight.

Of course you understand that the university

can't pay you anything.

But since you'll be giving a series of lectures,

the dean would like to give you faculty status.

Me, on a faculty?

Oh, no, no, I don't think... Well, no...

No, that's a little ridiculous. I wouldn't know...

We'll talk it over at lunch. All right.

I'll get my coat and hat.

Hiya, Jim.

Oh, hello, Bob.

Mr. Gannon? Yeah.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Kovac.

I just came by to pick up Barney's things.

Sure.

I was hoping I'd bump into you so I could thank you.

For what?

For sending Barney back to school, for what.

Is he really going?

Well, you know, he's making lots of noises

about getting another job,

and he's sore as a boil at you.

But I know him, he'll go back.

You know why?

Because you said so.

Tell him the day after he graduates,

I want him to report back.

What time?

Nine o'clock, and tell him not to be late.

You know something? I like you.

I don't care what anybody says, I like you.

Goodbye, Mr. Gannon.

Goodbye, Mrs. Kovac.

Informal at times, and a little brutal and hard to accept,

but it's been an education.

I didn't know you two knew each other.

Oh, yes, I took a class

from Miss Stone a couple of years ago.

Too bad you didn't learn anything.

Come here.

Uh, look, Miller, we sell advertising

at 25 bucks an inch.

The space you use we can't sell.

Take this story, and save us about $300.

And don't just make the lead a rehash.

Recent evidence discloses that the kid had accomplices.

Oh, no. Salas was alone when he killed the old man.

He had four partners always with him.

Poverty, prejudice, bitterness, and despair.

Salas pulled the trigger but they loaded the gun.

Light? Oh, thanks.

Well, what are you waiting for?

You want me to write it for you?

Ready?

Who's the dame?

That's Joel Barlow Stone's daughter.

That's a combination for you.

What have they got in common?

If I know Jim, he'll find something.