Original subtitles

♪ Magic is real here ♪

♪ Far away from home ♪

♪ Anything can happen ♪

♪ When witches make the rules ♪

♪ Monsters are cool ♪

♪ The moon is our friend ♪

♪ I wanna stay with you ♪

♪ On Summer Camp Island ♪

♪♪

Oscar: No, Mom, it was Tom Brown

who gave me that spork, not Tom Minzk.

No, not me! [ Laughs ]

I can't take it anymore!

Good one, Hedgehog.

Oh, you mean the one with the pretty curly hair?

[ Laughs ] You would've died to look like him.

Do you remember? I took you out to buy

Together: ...a rainbow clown wig?!

[ Both laugh ] Your turn, Oscar.

Anyway, you don't have any sentimental attachment

to the spork, right?

I'm gonna put you on with [echoing] your dad.

[ All shout ] What's wrong?

I don't know how to have a conversation with my dad.

Ugh, tell me about it.

Maybe just talk about the weather?

Andy: Hello? Son?

Oh, hi, Dad. Uh, how's weather?

Oh, um, the weather. Uh, the weather's fine.

Honey, try bringing up his interests.

We both like "Dungeon Doug."

Yeah, that's a good start.

The weather here in New Jersey is as disappointing

as the end of "Dungeon Doug, Book 3 --

The Plight of the Soggy Guard."

He's just bringing up "Dungeon Doug" again.

It's the only thing we have in common.

It's fine. Just go with it.

You love "Dungeon Doug."

You're right.

That's too bad about the weather.

Book 3 had so much potential,

but the ending was so unsatisfying.

Man, that guard!

Andy: I know! Wait. Wait.

Uh, w-what was his name again?

I-I can't remember.

Ugh, it's driving me crazy.

Ask him if he had breakfast.

I'm talking, Sue. Geez.

Um, well, kiddo, uhh, ooh, I'm stumped.

I wish I could remember. If you think of it, let me know.

Hey, y-you, too, Dad.

[ Beep ] [ Sighs ]

Well, that was sort of okay.

Why are dads so hard to talk to, Hedgehog?

Why so awkward.

Ugh, I hear you, buddy.

Maybe we don't know them that well?

He's my dad. Of course I know him!

He has a job, likes to read chapter books,

and has to drink coffee every morning.

Cool. What else?

[ Tink! ]

I mean, something personal.

Like, what was his dream when he was growing up?

He wasn't born to be just Oscar's dad, right?

Maybe ask him questions. Do a little digging.

Or what might be easier

would be to figure out that guard's name

so we have something to talk about the next time he calls.

I'm gonna go to the library.

♪♪

Cool! Don't listen to me!

Oh, Margot, do you have "Dungeon Doug, Book 3"

in the immersive books section?

Yes, we do. But why do you want to read that one?

The ending is terrible.

Can't have flowers without rain, Margot.

As you wish. It's on the top shelf upstairs.

Top shelf, top shelf...

A-ha!

♪♪

[ Warbling ]

Hmm... where is that guard?

Oh, maybe that's the guard.

Excuse me...

Dad? What are you doing here?!

Son? I don't know.

Is this "Dungeon Doug, Book 3"?

It is!

Cool.

Should we...hug?

Dad! Osc!

Ugh, gotta say something. Anything.

Dad, what was your dream when you were growing up?!

I mean, you weren't born just to be my dad, right?

[ Chuckles ] Of course not.

I always wanted to be a paleontologist,

traveling around the world, finding bones.

Whoa. Cool. What happened?

I met your mother.

And soon after that, you were born.

Ohh. [ Horse neighs ]

[ Gasps ] Is that Dungeon Doug?

I'm the hero!

Wow. Wow.

Let's follow him to find that guard's name!

Yes! Gimme five! Yeah!

Ouch! Ow!

We need more practice.

T-There he is.

You! Guard!

Hello, guard!

Sir! Hey! Hey!

'Scuse me!

'Scuse me! Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Huh? You! Guard!

What's your -- Whoa!

[ Splash ]

Guard!

What?

What's your name?

My name is [gurgling]!

Did we just do a bad thing?

No. No, he's got a very nice backstroke.

Probably best if we guard his post for him till he gets back.

Excuse me, elephants.

Have you seen the guard from this post?

Uh...

[ Sighs ] His family's gonna get docked pay if he's gone again.

Tall man. Tall man.

Ahem. Here I am.

Mm. Alright.

Wait. What's my name?

What? You think I don't know my own guards' names?

That's really insulting.

Nice try, son.

[ Chuckles evilly ] 'Scuse me.

Where can I find Dungeon Doug.

Uh, he's in here. I saw him not even five minutes ago.

[ Laughs suspiciously ]

Andy: He wrote something in here.

What is it?

It says, "If found, please return to 619 Old Road."

Oh, the guard's address.

The head guard said he has a family.

They'll know his name.

Now, Oscar, we can't just leave our post...

without leaving a note!

"If you're nice, go on in,

If you're not, please go somewhere else."

Nice job on the legible penmanship, son.

♪♪

We're here, and we need to be...here.

That's all the way across town.

Well, lucky for us, I ran track in college.

Buckle up, son. Whoa!

Whoa. You're really fast.

Thank you, son.

You know, this is how I met your mother.

You ran into her?

What? [ Laughing ] No!

No, she was a sports writer for the university press.

Cool. I mean, that's actually cool.

Tell me everything.

Well, it's a long, sappy story,

but once upon a time,

your old man was quite the hot pepper.

Dad, stop.

What? Too spicy for you?

No, we're in front of the house.

Hi, Dad. Oh, hi, Dad.

Correct. I am your parent.

Now tell me, uh, what's my name.

Daddy.

No, my real name.

Father. That's...not my name.

Papa!

No. What's Mama call me?

Together: A mistake!

Ugh, dang it! What do we do?

[ Children scream ]

-Where's Daddy's head?! -Hey there!

Everything is okay.

A two-headed monster! A two-headed monster!

Oh, no. There's no monster. See?

♪ Sometimes things are not as scary as they seem ♪

♪ It's just me and my son, working as a team ♪

♪ We're sorry we upset you ♪

♪ We sure are glad we met you ♪

♪ But do you know your daddy's given name? ♪

Together: ♪ It's Daddy ♪

[ Whispering ] I don't think they get it.

♪ It's time for us to go now ♪

♪ What a bust ♪

♪ We've a mission to achieve now, and we must ♪

♪ Get out of here, let's try it ♪

♪ Now that things are quiet ♪

♪ No need to scream and shout, tall man out ♪

That was amazing. Where'd you learn to sing?

[ Laughs ] 10 years of glee club.

Guess it paid off.

Guard! Guard!

Dungeon Doug is under attack! You must help him!

He was across town by the main entrance to the city!

There was supposed to be a guard on duty,

but there was a just a note instead!

Whoops.

[ Beeping ]

[ Weapons clanging ]

[ Laughs evilly ]

I can feel you leaking power, Doug!

-Dad, look. -Huh?

Holy bowl. I can see him!

Both: Onward!

You're going the wrong way! Turn around!

I am? That's crazy.

I swear I saw the guard go downstream.

Y-You saw the guard? Never mind. Turn around.

What? Okay. There he goes!

He must've paddled the whole river loop.

Hang on tight, kiddo.

Hup!

♪♪

[ Chuckles ]

What's so funny?

Nothing. It's just...

you know what's more fun than being a paleontologist?

Being your dad.

Ah, it's a long time since just the two of us did something.

Yeah.

This reminds me of when you used to take me

to the boats at the park.

And afterwards, you always wanted banana splits.

Yeah, 'cause the boats were yellow like bananas.

Remember that time at the Chocolate Iguana?

They ran out of bananas.

And I started crying.

And that made me start crying,

and then everyone in the shop started crying!

[ Both laugh ]

Halt! Hey.

You're the guys who knocked me into this river.

Yeah, sorry about that.

We were just trying to find out what your name is.

Guard.

I know, but don't you have a real name?

I don't...huh. Yeah, I guess not.

Of course! That's why we couldn't remember.

He never had a name!

This calls for some mulled jelly juice.

Do you have my cape?

♪♪

Here's to you, no-name guard.

Actually, from now on, I'd like to be called Diana.

Diana!

Together: Diana!

Dungeon Doug is dueling the applesauce

out of some foe on the riverbanks!

Together: All hail Dungeon Doug!

Tell us the story of besting your enemy!

Actually, I don't know how to say this,

but he, uh, got away.

All: Boo!

You stink, Dungeon Doug!

I-I had him just where I wanted him,

and then, o-out of nowhere,

there was a boat parked right here --

right here, in the No Boat Parking zone.

I mean, what kind of a person does that?

Yeah, I thought I was gonna catch him.

But then I didn't.

The end.

[ Poof! ]

Aah!

Margot! Margot!

So, how was it this time?

Terrible! But guess what.

My dad was in there, too. Isn't that bonkers?

That's pretty rare,

That only happens if two people who know each other

are reading the exact word at the exact same time.

I can't wait to tell my dad.

Thanks, Margot.

Oscar, wait.

Your dad isn't on the island,

so the rules of magic work differently for him.

You mean he won't remember any of it?

Not the way you do. Sorry.

Ohh.

Ring, ring! Ring, ring! Ring, ring! Ring, ring!

Ring, ring!

[ Beep ] Hello?

Andy: Hey, Oscar. It's me.

I was skimming "Dungeon Doug" to find that guard's name,

and I zonked out mid-sentence,

and I had the craziest dream.

You and I were in the book together.

And then, well -- I-I don't want to bore you.

No way, Dad. Tell me everything.

♪♪

♪♪

My name is [gurgling]!