Original subtitles

♪ Magic is real here

♪ Far away from home

♪ Anything can happen

♪ When witches make the rules

♪ Monsters are cool

♪ The moon is our friend

♪ I wanna stay with you

♪ On Summer Camp Island

♪♪

43! 44!

Okay, guys, three more reps.

One! Two!

Yeah!

Three!

[ Panting ]Great job, everyone.

Tomorrow, we work out our minds!

Foreign film marathon!

I love subtitles.

He likes foreign cinema? [ Sighs ]

Oh, Max, one day, we'll work out our hearts.

Yo, Hedgehog!

Ah! [ Chuckles ]

Hey, there.

[ Sighs ]

How's it going?

Really great, thanks.

[ Chuckles ] Cool. Well, see you later, Hogster.

Oh, bye, Max...ter!

[ Sighs ] Why did I say that?

Oh.

Hey, Hedgehog. Whoa! [ Grunts ]

[ Chuckles ] I tripped on this barbell.

Ah-choo!

Sorry, I'm allergic to exercise equipment.

My doctor says my muscles are purely decorative.

Hey, what are you up to?

You seem distracted.

[ Chuckles nervously ] Nothing.

Doesn't look like nothing to me.

Uh, I'm tracking yeti migration patterns.

They migrate?

They sure do.

Hedgehog, are you keeping a secret from me?

It's not a secret.

It's more like a private thought.

There's no privacy among best friends.

I tell you everything. You're my diary!

[ Clears throat ] Dear Hedgehog, today, I...

Ate a bug, and I truly felt shame.

You know, it's normal to have thoughts and feelings

that are just for you.

Disgusting. A real page-turner, but truly disgusting.

Hey, that's my diary!

I don't see your name on it, sweetheart.

Give it back! Hmm.

No, I don't think so.

Something this disgusting should be put on display.

Wait!

Oh, no, he's gone, and he took my diary.

Your diary can't be thatbad.

You're only 11 years old.

How many bugs could you have possibly eaten?

I wish I ate bugs!

I have feelings, which is way worse.

Let's dive under the bed and get your diary back, then.

Yeah!

♪♪

Whoa! [ Grunts ]

Where are we?

Uh, I think this is

the Monster Under the Bed's studio apartment.

Hey, isn't this your trophy?

I don't care about that trophy, Oscar.

I care about my privacy.

There he is.

Of course it's a Hedgehog original.

Ooh, how salacious is it?

It's her grossest, most personal work since the snotty tissues.

No, no, no.

I'm going to auction it tonight at Hedgehogeby's. [ Laughs ]

Oh, no! Hey, I know where he's going.

I just read it in his diary.

You're really not getting the hang

of this whole privacy thing.

Coming through!

Ah! Ah!

Monster Under the Bed! He's getting away!

[ Horn honks ] Whoa.

[ Horns honking ]

What is going on?

My face is everywhere.

"Hedgehog Science Books?"

"Hedgehog Werewolf Costumes?"

"Hedgehog's Gifts from Dad?"

"The only gift she really wants is his approval?"

Ah! They know everything about me --

everything!

No Max stuff, please, no Max stuff!

Hedgehog, you're disgusting!

Huh? What? No!

My love is pure!

You like marzipan? Ew!

Phew! See, Hedgehog?

I know that you like marzipan, and I still love you.

You don't have to hide anything from me.

Oscar, that's not the point.

Hey, you're the guys that pushed us.

Well, we just wanted to say...

we love your costumes.

Look at this detailed staining.

What is that, tomato sauce?

I think it's ketchup?

Oh, that's so accurate.

This Oscar costume is real bad, though.

The eyes are all wrong.

Your mouth isn't full of bugs,

and these pants are just sad.

Hey, my mom made these pants!

She won an award for them,

from me, "My mom of the year."

Ah, points for staying in character.

Do you guys know where Hedgehogeby's is?

Sure, it's right across Werewolf Park

inside the Museum of Natural Hedgehogistry.

♪♪

Whoa, a fountain dedicated to your werewolf side.

Let's cut through here.

Awoo! Awoo! Awoo! Awoo!

Welcome to the 3rd annual werewolf reenactment party.

Hurry up Osc-- Oh!

Whoa!

Not again!

Randy, get some glue to fix the moon.

I told you, my lycan name is Bloody Whiskers 1991.

Sorry about your moon, but we're in a hurry.

Ah, a classic reenactment of Hedgehog

being too busy for the reenactment.

Nice.

Randy, where's that glue?

♪♪

That must be it.

Both: Whoa!

Welcome to the Museum of National Hedge History.

You're about to discover firsthand everything

and anything you ever wanted to know about Hedgehog.

♪♪

Oh, boy!

This place is incredible.

I don't know, this is really weirding me out.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Oh, I didn't know you rock out to yeti metal at 3:00 a.m.

What's yeti metal? What's metal?

It's a way to get my aggression out.

Ooh, a giant box of your used tissues.

[ Panting ]

Uh, "Real Hedgehog Snot Balls?

[ Chuckles ] Start!

Just how long has this monster been snooping me?

Ah, snoop-shmoop. You're a celebrity!

Doesn't that make you feel important?

[ Gasps ]

It makes me want to move to Privacy Camp Island.

Anyway, I think the auction is -- Oscar, no!

I think the auction is this way.

[ Whimpers ]

Let's see, past the Hedgehogatarium,

around the Hedgehogquarium, and through the Hedgehogararium.

[ Gasps ]

Sweet!

"Meet Oscar, Hedgehog's Best Friend."

Ooh!

Let's see what Hedgehog said about me.

"Oscar can be so clueless sometimes.

He always thinks it's his job to fix everything,

even when I tell him I need my space."

She knows me so well.

Oscar, I think I found it.

Come on!

♪♪

Sold for 5 Hedgehairs.

Yes! Just what I wanted.

Last but not least, our final lot is a legendary book

you'll all be familiar with.

I present to you "Hedgehog's Diary!"

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

And to kick us off, I'll read you a very recent excerpt.

Oh, no!

[ Clears throat ]

"Dear diary, something embarrassing happened today."

Hedgehog: [ Thinking ] Not Max, anything but Max!

"Oscar and I were leapfrogging to the library when I got gas."

Thank you.

♪♪

[ Groans ]

Is that the one you were trying to hide from me,

because I kind of remember that one.

No, but that was pretty bad, too.

Yeah, I'm starting to see what you mean now.

You are?

We'll start the bidding at 11 Hedgehairs.

11 is bid. We have 11.

Can I hear 12 Hedgehairs?

I only brought 3 Hedgehairs.

Hedgehog, I think they're using your hair for money.

Ugh! Hmm.

20 Hedgehairs going once, going twice...

100,000 Hedgehairs!

Who said that?

I did!

Who has that kind of money?

I've never seen that much hair in my life.

Oh.And who are you?

I...am a regular person![ Microphone feedback ]

That means I have thoughts and feelings and experiences

that I don't want to share, and it's wrong to make me!

My name is Hedgehog, and if you respect me,

please respect my privacy.

♪♪

Yeah.

Wow.

♪♪

Hedgehog, will you sign my Hedgehog?

Um...

Hedgehog, could you sign my eyelids?

Hedgehog! Hedgehog!Hedgehog! Hedgehog!

Could you sign this for me?

Could I have a hug?

HeAhdg!eh

og! Hedgehog!Hedgehog! Hedgehog! a hug?

Ooh, Hedgehog! Sign this!

Sign my eyelids?

Ah, ah, ah.

Hedgehog! Sign my book!

It's right back here!Will you sign this for me?

Just sign one!

One eyelid, one eyelid will do!

Don't run away! Don't run away!

Just one! Hedgehog!

You!

Don't worry, I'm going to get you guys out of here.

♪ Pointy ears, he's a bat

All we've got to do is cross this exhibit hall up ahead,

and we're free.♪ Backwards hat, these are facts ♪

Wait. [ Gasps ]

♪ My heart is cold to the max

♪ I like moderation

♪ I'm not being rash ♪ Rash

♪ When it comes to love ♪ Love

♪ I take it to the Max ♪

♪ Max, Max-Max-Max-Max ♪

Oh, my gosh.♪ He's so cool, makes me laugh

So you know that diary entry from this morning

I didn't want to share?

Well... Hedgehog, it's okay.

♪ He's cool to the Max

I shouldn't have tried to make you share it.

You're my best friend, and I respect your privacy,

so I'll cover my eyes and my ears.

Thanks, Oscar.♪ You can't quantify love

♪ Mine's at Max ♪ Bum-bum-bum-bum

This song is tortuously catchy.

♪ Pointy ears, he's a bat

♪ Backwards cap, these are facts ♪

♪ My heart is full to the Max

♪ Bum-bum-bum

I stole it because I wanted to read what you thought about me,

but you only had one brief mention -- that I seemed weird.

Man, I'm sorry.

I guess I forgive you, but maybe from now on,

only I get to decide what goes under the bed?

Deal.

Can I go under the bed?

No. Yeah, I know.

I just really like it here.

See you on the flip side, Monster Under the Bed.

♪♪

Hmm?

♪♪

Aww.

♪♪

♪♪