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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:00,032 --> 00:01:02,631 They all work. All four of them. 2 00:01:02,632 --> 00:01:04,871 OK, good. Good to test them. 3 00:01:04,872 --> 00:01:07,231 How is he? Charles? Is he ready? Erm... 4 00:01:07,232 --> 00:01:09,551 CHRIS TARRANT: 'Emmerdale. Hollyoaks. 5 00:01:09,552 --> 00:01:12,219 'EastEnders. Coronation Street.' 6 00:01:13,752 --> 00:01:14,912 Emmerdale? 7 00:01:14,952 --> 00:01:16,591 'D, Coronation Street.' 8 00:01:16,592 --> 00:01:18,991 'Coronation Street is the right answer, well done.' 9 00:01:18,992 --> 00:01:21,351 Oh, bum. Yeah, no, he's, erm... 10 00:01:21,352 --> 00:01:24,852 He's going to need all the help he can get. 11 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,752 This way, please. 12 00:01:39,912 --> 00:01:42,551 So this is just a little practice, 13 00:01:42,552 --> 00:01:44,591 before we send you off to the canteen 14 00:01:44,592 --> 00:01:46,351 for a bite to eat, OK? 15 00:01:46,352 --> 00:01:48,511 Oh, and to warn, we're starting with 16 00:01:48,512 --> 00:01:51,431 a rollover contestant from yesterday. 17 00:01:51,432 --> 00:01:52,991 So you won't be called upon 18 00:01:52,992 --> 00:01:55,391 until probably quite a way into the show, 19 00:01:55,392 --> 00:01:59,631 just to, like, manage your expectations and everything. 20 00:01:59,632 --> 00:02:00,912 Right! 21 00:02:00,952 --> 00:02:03,952 Just a rehearsal! 22 00:02:03,992 --> 00:02:05,391 Fingers on buttons. 23 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:09,392 Put these Disney films in order of their release. 24 00:02:10,112 --> 00:02:11,992 A, Little Mermaid. 25 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:15,032 B, Snow White. 26 00:02:15,072 --> 00:02:16,632 C, Aladdin. 27 00:02:16,672 --> 00:02:17,712 D, Dumbo. 28 00:02:22,352 --> 00:02:26,712 OK, pretty straightforward, B, D, A, C. 29 00:02:26,752 --> 00:02:28,951 Let's look who was fastest. 30 00:02:28,952 --> 00:02:32,992 Janet! On 6.52 seconds, well done. 31 00:02:33,032 --> 00:02:35,712 And, Charles? Yeah. 32 00:02:35,752 --> 00:02:39,151 I'm afraid you were last. Oh, well. It's just nice to be here. 33 00:02:39,152 --> 00:02:41,351 Yeah. Only rehearsal. Yeah, OK. 34 00:02:41,352 --> 00:02:43,151 OK. Over to you, Rebecca. Fantastic. 35 00:02:43,152 --> 00:02:46,902 OK, folks, if you'd like to follow me, please. 36 00:02:50,112 --> 00:02:52,991 He's the husband of the sister of the brother 37 00:02:52,992 --> 00:02:54,431 who were all here, so... 38 00:02:54,432 --> 00:02:55,671 Oh, Jesus Christ. 39 00:02:55,672 --> 00:02:58,111 But seriously, honestly, I wouldn't worry, 40 00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,831 he's like Tim-Nice-But-Dim army type, 41 00:02:59,832 --> 00:03:01,471 I doubt he'll even get in the chair. 42 00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,991 Terrible in rehearsal and, so, yeah. 43 00:03:03,992 --> 00:03:06,591 Oh, and his wife did request an extra ticket, though. 44 00:03:06,592 --> 00:03:09,111 Audience is full, but I could put them in the overspill? 45 00:03:09,112 --> 00:03:10,552 Fine, wherever. 46 00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,631 Don't be so on edge. 47 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:20,511 I'm gonna be the one in the chair, hopefully. 48 00:03:20,512 --> 00:03:21,751 I wish you were more on edge, 49 00:03:21,752 --> 00:03:26,151 so I'd know you knew how nerve-wracking it is out there. 50 00:03:26,152 --> 00:03:30,391 Well, at least we're getting to spend more time together. 51 00:03:30,392 --> 00:03:32,392 KNOCK ON DOOR 52 00:03:40,912 --> 00:03:43,079 All right. Of course, yeah. 53 00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:53,151 Right, place these words of an Agatha Christie novel 54 00:03:53,152 --> 00:03:54,752 in the right order. 55 00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,912 Nile, On, Death, The! 56 00:04:01,112 --> 00:04:03,871 And it was, of course, Death On The Nile. 57 00:04:03,872 --> 00:04:06,751 And who gets to sit in the chair next? 58 00:04:06,752 --> 00:04:09,032 It's... Charles Ingram! 59 00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:17,351 Well done, Charles. 60 00:04:17,352 --> 00:04:19,071 Are you ready to play for a million pounds? 61 00:04:19,072 --> 00:04:21,431 Is the Pope a Catholic? And... hold there! 62 00:04:21,432 --> 00:04:23,391 What did I...? Oh, don't worry, no, no, no. 63 00:04:23,392 --> 00:04:25,671 It's a lot less continuous and magic than it is on tele. 64 00:04:25,672 --> 00:04:28,191 Erm, lots of stops and starts. We're gonna mic your guest up now 65 00:04:28,192 --> 00:04:29,911 and put them in their seat in the audience. 66 00:04:29,912 --> 00:04:31,911 Who have you brought? Uh, my wife. 67 00:04:31,912 --> 00:04:34,391 You've met actually, she played before. Oh, really? 68 00:04:34,392 --> 00:04:36,112 Yes. Oh, yes! 69 00:04:37,632 --> 00:04:40,032 Hello... again. 70 00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:43,072 OK, folks, here we go. And... 71 00:04:45,232 --> 00:04:48,992 OK, let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 72 00:04:49,032 --> 00:04:51,552 MUSIC AND APPLAUSE 73 00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,391 Erm, so, we've seen quite a lot of the Major's family 74 00:05:00,392 --> 00:05:01,991 on this show, Charles... 75 00:05:01,992 --> 00:05:04,831 First off was his wife, Diana, who won 32 grand. 76 00:05:04,832 --> 00:05:08,831 Erm, then brother-in-law Adrian, who won 32 grand, as well. 77 00:05:08,832 --> 00:05:11,231 So it's a matter of family honour, Charles. 78 00:05:11,232 --> 00:05:13,831 No pressure, then! No. No. No, no pressure. 79 00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:16,391 What, are you trying to win a million between you? 80 00:05:16,392 --> 00:05:19,752 LAUGHTER First question of 15. 81 00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:22,231 "What name is given to a person 82 00:05:22,232 --> 00:05:25,831 "who is against increasing the powers of the European Union?" 83 00:05:25,832 --> 00:05:28,792 Eurosceptic. Eurostar. 84 00:05:28,832 --> 00:05:31,712 Eurotrash. Eurovision. 85 00:05:31,752 --> 00:05:34,991 It's, erm... It's Eurosceptic, Chris, yeah. 86 00:05:34,992 --> 00:05:36,992 That's correct. 87 00:05:38,432 --> 00:05:41,032 So for £2,000. 88 00:05:41,072 --> 00:05:43,271 Coronation Street... CHRIS GUFFAWS 89 00:05:43,272 --> 00:05:45,671 I bet you know this one. Oh, no, I've never watched it. 90 00:05:45,672 --> 00:05:47,511 Charles, it's been on for 40 years! 91 00:05:47,512 --> 00:05:50,192 I know, I know, I just... 92 00:05:50,232 --> 00:05:54,672 In Coronation Street, who is Audrey's daughter? 93 00:05:54,712 --> 00:05:59,592 Janice, Gail, Linda, Sally. 94 00:06:01,672 --> 00:06:03,792 Erm, no, it's nothing... 95 00:06:03,832 --> 00:06:06,712 It's nothing, erm... 96 00:06:06,752 --> 00:06:08,836 I'm not getting anything. 97 00:06:15,872 --> 00:06:19,792 Erm, no, it's... 98 00:06:33,632 --> 00:06:35,392 Oh, sorry, sir, 99 00:06:35,432 --> 00:06:37,631 you can't be out here on the phone, I'm afraid. 100 00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:38,512 Yeah, no, sorry, I'm... 101 00:06:38,552 --> 00:06:40,391 I know, I know, sorry, I just need to, erm... 102 00:06:40,392 --> 00:06:42,631 Sir, if you don't mind? Yeah, of course. 103 00:06:42,632 --> 00:06:46,132 Sorry. I was just trying to get in touch... 104 00:06:46,952 --> 00:06:48,031 'OK, no, I... Yeah. 105 00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:50,231 'I'll have to ask the audience, Chris.' 106 00:06:50,232 --> 00:06:52,231 Cut to Chris. 'OK, audience.' 107 00:06:52,232 --> 00:06:53,751 She's right. He's an idiot. 108 00:06:53,752 --> 00:06:55,502 'Fingers on keypads.' 109 00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:59,991 Which still begs the question how he got in the goddamn chair, 110 00:06:59,992 --> 00:07:03,242 but hey-ho, and all the fun of the fair. 111 00:07:05,112 --> 00:07:09,592 OK! And 89% say Gail. 112 00:07:09,632 --> 00:07:14,299 Well. Gosh, yeah, OK... Well, I'll go for B, go for Gail. 113 00:07:15,912 --> 00:07:18,912 Oh, "Where is the River Foyle"? 114 00:07:18,952 --> 00:07:21,112 Erm... Erm... 115 00:07:23,392 --> 00:07:25,671 I think I'm gonna have to, erm... 116 00:07:25,672 --> 00:07:28,311 Oh, dear. Yeah, I'm gonna have to... phone a friend.. 117 00:07:28,312 --> 00:07:30,991 It's all right, that's what the lifelines are there for. 118 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,151 OK, who are we gonna call, Major? 119 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:36,912 Erm, Gerald. OK, let's call Gerald, please. 120 00:07:36,952 --> 00:07:40,072 Where's Gerald? Erm, South Wales. 121 00:07:40,112 --> 00:07:42,832 PHONE DIALS 122 00:07:42,872 --> 00:07:47,312 PHONE'S DIAL DISTORTS 123 00:07:54,112 --> 00:07:57,111 Mr Pollock, I mean it now, we'll have to confiscate your phone. 124 00:07:57,112 --> 00:08:00,112 Yeah, all right. OK. OK. Yep, sorry. 125 00:08:02,352 --> 00:08:05,552 This way, sir. Keep an eye on him. 126 00:08:05,592 --> 00:08:08,471 Is the right answer. And that takes you to £4,000! 127 00:08:08,472 --> 00:08:10,952 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 128 00:08:10,992 --> 00:08:13,192 KLAXON BLARES Oh, no! 129 00:08:13,232 --> 00:08:16,951 Oh, no! Charles, we're gonna have to drag you back tomorrow, 130 00:08:16,952 --> 00:08:20,191 along with ten new Fastest Finger First contestants. 131 00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:24,632 APPLAUSE 132 00:08:26,792 --> 00:08:28,431 Jacob Nixon from Frome! 133 00:08:28,432 --> 00:08:30,951 Charlotte Edmonds from Edinburgh. 134 00:08:30,952 --> 00:08:33,431 Helen McGrath form Broadstairs. 135 00:08:33,432 --> 00:08:35,552 Sorry, darling. 136 00:08:35,592 --> 00:08:37,551 Bloody Coronation Street. 137 00:08:37,552 --> 00:08:41,752 It's OK, we just need to strategise for tomorrow. 138 00:08:41,792 --> 00:08:43,592 We need to regroup. 139 00:08:43,632 --> 00:08:44,951 Well, I can't be back tomorrow, 140 00:08:44,952 --> 00:08:46,951 I mean, I shouldn't really be here today, so... 141 00:08:46,952 --> 00:08:49,311 KNOCK ON DOOR Knock-knock, sorry to interrupt. 142 00:08:49,312 --> 00:08:51,591 Just giving you your hotel details. 143 00:08:51,592 --> 00:08:53,551 Oh, no, I'm really sorry, but I actually think 144 00:08:53,552 --> 00:08:54,991 we have to get back home tonight. 145 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,511 Back home? Yeah, I've got... I've got work in the morning. 146 00:08:57,512 --> 00:09:00,431 But you're our rollover contestant. You're back in the chair tomorrow. 147 00:09:00,432 --> 00:09:02,871 I know, I know, but we didn't necessarily think 148 00:09:02,872 --> 00:09:05,311 that we would rollover, did we? No. No. 149 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,511 Well, can't you call in sick? It's the British Army. 150 00:09:07,512 --> 00:09:09,311 No, you can't call in sick. I know, but, like... 151 00:09:09,312 --> 00:09:12,646 SHE SCOFFS ..there's no war on, is there? 152 00:09:13,432 --> 00:09:15,351 I mean, I'm joking, but I'm not really. 153 00:09:15,352 --> 00:09:16,591 We have to have you back here. 154 00:09:16,592 --> 00:09:18,231 We will be back. I promise, I promise. 155 00:09:18,232 --> 00:09:21,151 But work takes precedence, I'm so sorry. 156 00:09:21,152 --> 00:09:23,819 Charles, car, five minutes. Yeah. 157 00:09:40,952 --> 00:09:44,952 PHONE RINGS 158 00:09:44,992 --> 00:09:46,711 Hello, Tecwen speaking. 159 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:49,871 Ah, yes, Tecwen. Hi. It's, erm, Diana Ingram here. 160 00:09:49,872 --> 00:09:53,351 Erm, Adrian's sister. Oh. Hello, yes. Diana. Yes. 161 00:09:53,352 --> 00:09:55,631 Oh, my God, fortuitous timing. You'll never guess what. 162 00:09:55,632 --> 00:09:57,151 Oh, I-I think I can, actually, 163 00:09:57,152 --> 00:09:59,711 you're going to be on the show tomorrow, I've just heard, 164 00:09:59,712 --> 00:10:03,312 erm, weirdly, I'm here... at the studio. 165 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,711 Charles, my husband, he's here, 166 00:10:04,712 --> 00:10:06,391 he's going to be in the chair tomorrow, 167 00:10:06,392 --> 00:10:08,351 for when you're in the Fastest Finger seats. 168 00:10:08,352 --> 00:10:11,671 Oh, my. What a coincidence. I know. I know. 169 00:10:11,672 --> 00:10:15,756 So, erm, I just thought I'd call for a quick chat. 170 00:10:16,312 --> 00:10:21,912 MUSIC AND APPLAUSE 171 00:10:21,952 --> 00:10:24,352 All right? 172 00:10:27,472 --> 00:10:29,352 MUSIC DIES 173 00:10:29,392 --> 00:10:34,752 CLOCK TICKS 174 00:10:34,792 --> 00:10:37,272 HE SIGHS 175 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,094 We're welcoming back Charles, 176 00:10:47,095 --> 00:10:49,734 Major Charles Ingram, into the chair. 177 00:10:49,735 --> 00:10:52,214 "Morning, Major!" "Morning, Fawlty!" 178 00:10:52,215 --> 00:10:54,974 So do you have a strategy, then, Major? 179 00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:57,814 Well, erm... Well, yeah, I do. I do have a strategy, actually. 180 00:10:57,815 --> 00:11:00,494 I, erm... I was a bit defensive on the last show, 181 00:11:00,495 --> 00:11:02,454 erm, you know, talking myself out of answers 182 00:11:02,455 --> 00:11:05,014 that I... frankly, I should have known and do know 183 00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:07,214 and, erm... So, yeah... So I'm... I'm... 184 00:11:07,215 --> 00:11:09,414 Yeah, I'm, sort of, going on the counterattack. 185 00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:11,854 We're going on a counterattack. 186 00:11:11,855 --> 00:11:13,054 Yeah, and basically I'm... 187 00:11:13,055 --> 00:11:15,414 I'm just gonna try and show a bit more self-commitment. 188 00:11:15,415 --> 00:11:18,214 Well, erm, let's put this strategy to the test. 189 00:11:18,215 --> 00:11:22,382 Right, Major Charles Ingram, are you ready to play? 190 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,535 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 191 00:11:26,575 --> 00:11:29,415 This, for £8,000. 192 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:34,455 Who was the second husband of Jacqueline Kennedy? 193 00:11:34,495 --> 00:11:36,895 Adnan Khashoggi. 194 00:11:36,935 --> 00:11:38,175 Ronald Reagan. 195 00:11:38,215 --> 00:11:41,135 Aristotle Onassis. 196 00:11:41,175 --> 00:11:43,055 Rupert Murdoch. 197 00:11:43,095 --> 00:11:45,454 All right, we're not expecting this guy to be in long, 198 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,814 he's two lifelines down, 199 00:11:46,815 --> 00:11:48,414 so make sure we're prepped for the next. 200 00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:50,295 Roger, roger. 201 00:11:51,735 --> 00:11:53,374 I would have thought... 202 00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:57,542 I would have thought it would be Aristotle Onassis. 203 00:11:58,335 --> 00:11:59,455 Erm... 204 00:12:01,615 --> 00:12:04,574 Yeah, one... One of my sub-strategies is... 205 00:12:04,575 --> 00:12:06,894 Oh, my, we've got sub-strategies now?! 206 00:12:06,895 --> 00:12:09,134 Yeah, yeah, and sub-sub-strategies. 207 00:12:09,135 --> 00:12:11,734 But one of my sub-strategies is to take my time 208 00:12:11,735 --> 00:12:15,152 and, erm, list all the... all the options. 209 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,535 So... 210 00:12:18,295 --> 00:12:20,615 Adnan Kashoggi. 211 00:12:20,655 --> 00:12:24,175 Ronald Reagan. 212 00:12:24,215 --> 00:12:28,375 And Rupert Murdoch. 213 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,855 Aristotle Onassis. 214 00:12:30,895 --> 00:12:32,255 COUGHING 215 00:12:40,735 --> 00:12:42,735 Yeah, yeah, I think... 216 00:12:42,775 --> 00:12:46,414 I'm pretty sure it's, erm, Aristotle Onassis. 217 00:12:46,415 --> 00:12:47,775 Final answer? 218 00:12:47,815 --> 00:12:49,399 Final answer, yeah. 219 00:12:50,215 --> 00:12:52,215 You didn't have to play. 220 00:12:54,535 --> 00:12:57,334 Well, this new self-committed Charles 221 00:12:57,335 --> 00:13:01,502 is a wild and crazy man. That's the correct answer! 222 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,775 OK, so you've got £16,000. 223 00:13:10,815 --> 00:13:13,565 Now for the all-important 32,000. 224 00:13:14,855 --> 00:13:18,895 Who had a hit UK album with Born To Do It, 225 00:13:18,935 --> 00:13:22,215 released in 2000? 226 00:13:22,255 --> 00:13:24,495 Coldplay. 227 00:13:24,535 --> 00:13:25,895 Toploader. 228 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:28,135 A1. 229 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,655 Craig David. 230 00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:34,375 Coldplay. 231 00:13:34,415 --> 00:13:36,215 Toploader. 232 00:13:36,255 --> 00:13:37,375 A1. 233 00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,095 Craig David. 234 00:13:46,335 --> 00:13:50,535 HE SIGHS OK, well, erm... 235 00:13:51,815 --> 00:13:54,135 All right? Yeah. 236 00:13:54,175 --> 00:13:59,342 That major from last night is nearly up to 32 grand, amazingly. 237 00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:00,854 'I think it's A1.' 238 00:14:00,855 --> 00:14:02,454 He's like a new man today. 239 00:14:02,455 --> 00:14:04,734 'But it could be Toploader.' 240 00:14:04,735 --> 00:14:07,294 Which is also something to do with a barrel on a rifle. 241 00:14:07,295 --> 00:14:11,735 So... Erm, I've never heard of Craig David. 242 00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,735 Erm... 243 00:14:15,775 --> 00:14:17,974 Erm, I... I'm afraid I'm gonna have to... 244 00:14:17,975 --> 00:14:20,854 I think I'm gonna have to use my final lifeline, 50:50. 245 00:14:20,855 --> 00:14:23,614 Computer, take away two wrong answers, 246 00:14:23,615 --> 00:14:28,094 leave Charles with the right answer and one remaining wrong answer. 247 00:14:28,095 --> 00:14:31,429 Oh, that's not any easier... Erm... Urgh. 248 00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:38,694 Do you know what? 249 00:14:38,695 --> 00:14:41,334 I think I'm gonna go for it, I think I'm gonna go for A1. 250 00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:42,894 CROWD GASP Final answer? 251 00:14:42,895 --> 00:14:44,135 No. 252 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,335 LAUGHTER 253 00:14:49,415 --> 00:14:50,615 No. Erm... 254 00:14:55,175 --> 00:14:58,095 Craig David... HE SIGHS 255 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,855 Craig... David. 256 00:15:09,495 --> 00:15:11,735 SHE COUGHS 257 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,854 You know, when... When I'm at home, erm, and I'm practising, 258 00:15:20,855 --> 00:15:22,854 you know, I guess... I guess... 259 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:25,935 Well, I guess wrong 80% of the time, 260 00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:29,174 so I think I'm gonna go with Craig David. 261 00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:31,375 LAUGHTER 262 00:15:31,415 --> 00:15:33,454 Charles, you'd never heard of him a moment ago?! 263 00:15:33,455 --> 00:15:35,334 No, Craig David. I'm gonna... 264 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:39,046 Final answer? Yeah, final answer. 265 00:15:41,255 --> 00:15:45,055 Well, erm, what a show this is turning into. 266 00:15:45,095 --> 00:15:47,974 Major Charles Ingram was on £16,000. 267 00:15:47,975 --> 00:15:49,894 He didn't have to play this question. 268 00:15:49,895 --> 00:15:53,614 He said in his own words that he'd never heard of Craig David. 269 00:15:53,615 --> 00:15:55,415 He went with A1. 270 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,695 And then, because... 271 00:15:58,735 --> 00:16:01,134 Well, I'd rather lost the plot of his thinking then, 272 00:16:01,135 --> 00:16:02,534 but he changed his mind, 273 00:16:02,535 --> 00:16:07,694 knowing that he would lose £15,000 if he gave the wrong answer. 274 00:16:07,695 --> 00:16:10,614 He went with Craig David, who he'd never heard of. 275 00:16:10,615 --> 00:16:11,695 Yep. 276 00:16:13,775 --> 00:16:15,574 And that's the right answer! 277 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,054 THEME MUSIC PLAYS Unbelievable. 278 00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:21,855 I don't know how you do that! I really don't! 279 00:16:21,895 --> 00:16:24,015 Incredible. 280 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:28,775 HE PANTS 281 00:16:28,815 --> 00:16:31,095 PHONE RINGS 282 00:16:32,135 --> 00:16:34,295 Yes? Paul. It's David. 283 00:16:34,335 --> 00:16:37,414 It's happening, I think the thing is happening. 284 00:16:37,415 --> 00:16:39,614 The rollover contestant from last night, 285 00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:41,214 I think he's cheating. 286 00:16:41,215 --> 00:16:44,214 He...? What, in getting on the show? 287 00:16:44,215 --> 00:16:45,334 No, cheating on the show, 288 00:16:45,335 --> 00:16:47,934 cheating at the actual... the actual game. 289 00:16:47,935 --> 00:16:50,535 Is the correct answer. APPLAUSE 290 00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:52,494 How do you...? You can't cheat the show, 291 00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:54,294 either you know the answer, or you don't. 292 00:16:54,295 --> 00:16:57,212 Look something isn't right. He's... 293 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,852 Normal people don't play like this. 294 00:17:02,175 --> 00:17:05,055 All right, I'm... I'm coming down. 295 00:17:07,135 --> 00:17:12,135 Yeah, I mean, it's a down payment on a house, isn't it? So... 296 00:17:15,655 --> 00:17:17,935 So, yeah. Yeah. Holbein. 297 00:17:17,975 --> 00:17:19,055 Holbein. 298 00:17:19,095 --> 00:17:20,455 Final answer? 299 00:17:20,495 --> 00:17:22,095 Final answer. 300 00:17:23,535 --> 00:17:27,785 OK. Erm, first of all, you thought it was Rembrandt. 301 00:17:28,975 --> 00:17:31,535 Said you'd seen the painting. 302 00:17:31,575 --> 00:17:34,242 You then thought it was Holbein. 303 00:17:40,135 --> 00:17:46,335 You've just won £125,000! 304 00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:48,516 Incredible. 305 00:17:48,556 --> 00:17:51,254 Incredible. You're just getting better! 306 00:17:51,255 --> 00:17:53,495 OK, something's weird. 307 00:17:53,535 --> 00:17:56,414 How is he doing this? Yeah, I have no idea. 308 00:17:56,415 --> 00:17:59,774 I mean, you were struggling more at £200 than you are now. 309 00:17:59,775 --> 00:18:02,375 I-I dunno! Unbelievable. 310 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,935 HE MOUTHS 311 00:18:03,975 --> 00:18:06,134 Well, Charles, here it is. 312 00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:09,734 A cheque, for a quarter of a... It sounds strange doesn't it, 313 00:18:09,735 --> 00:18:12,814 ..a quarter of a million pounds. Gosh, you're shaking. 314 00:18:12,815 --> 00:18:14,014 I know, I know, I don't... 315 00:18:14,015 --> 00:18:16,574 I know that, frankly, you didn't think you'd be able to 316 00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:18,774 equal your wife. And, frankly, Charles, nor did I. 317 00:18:18,775 --> 00:18:22,535 LAUGHTER Well, this is real money. 318 00:18:22,575 --> 00:18:25,975 £250,000. 319 00:18:26,015 --> 00:18:28,932 But we don't want to give you that! 320 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,575 This question... 321 00:18:31,615 --> 00:18:33,855 for half a million pounds. 322 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,775 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 323 00:18:38,415 --> 00:18:43,495 Baron Haussmann is best known for the planning of which city? 324 00:18:45,135 --> 00:18:46,455 Rome. 325 00:18:46,495 --> 00:18:48,455 Paris. 326 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,615 Berlin. 327 00:18:50,655 --> 00:18:51,815 Athens. 328 00:18:55,775 --> 00:18:58,735 Think it's Berlin. LAUGHTER 329 00:18:58,775 --> 00:18:59,895 God! 330 00:19:05,575 --> 00:19:07,175 Yeah, Berlin. 331 00:19:07,215 --> 00:19:09,455 I mean, Haussmann... 332 00:19:09,495 --> 00:19:11,334 You know, seems... Seems like a German name, 333 00:19:11,335 --> 00:19:12,934 rather than a Italian name, 334 00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,134 or a Parisian name, or an Athens name. 335 00:19:15,135 --> 00:19:16,255 Erm... 336 00:19:20,295 --> 00:19:21,735 Rome. 337 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,935 Paris. COUGHING 338 00:19:30,775 --> 00:19:32,974 Yeah. Do you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna rethink it. 339 00:19:32,975 --> 00:19:35,894 Because I don't... I don't think it's Athens 340 00:19:35,895 --> 00:19:38,294 and I'm pretty sure it's not Rome. 341 00:19:38,295 --> 00:19:39,774 And I would have thought... 342 00:19:39,775 --> 00:19:42,895 I would have thought it was, erm... 343 00:19:42,935 --> 00:19:45,214 Berlin, but there's a chance it could be Paris. 344 00:19:45,215 --> 00:19:46,855 COUGHING 345 00:19:52,215 --> 00:19:54,215 Oh, God, no. 346 00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:59,975 You stand to lose £218,000. 347 00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:05,254 Yeah, I think... I-I think it's Paris. 348 00:20:05,255 --> 00:20:07,175 I'm gonna play. 349 00:20:07,215 --> 00:20:10,549 Right, hang on. Now, wait, where are we?! 350 00:20:11,815 --> 00:20:13,535 HE COUGHS No, Paris. 351 00:20:13,575 --> 00:20:16,175 Paris, final answer. 352 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,655 Final answer? Final answer. 353 00:20:22,415 --> 00:20:24,775 You thought it was Berlin. 354 00:20:24,815 --> 00:20:26,899 "Berlin, Berlin, Berlin". 355 00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:33,125 You changed your mind to Paris... 356 00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:37,819 That's brought you £500,000! Yes! Yes! 357 00:20:39,695 --> 00:20:42,529 That's unbelievable! Unbelievable! 358 00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,574 Incredible. Oh, shit, the glitter. 359 00:20:47,575 --> 00:20:49,814 Never thought we'd get to the million-pound question, 360 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,534 but we're at the million-pound question, 361 00:20:51,535 --> 00:20:54,054 I never prepared the bloody glitter. Where's the glitter man? 362 00:20:54,055 --> 00:20:59,495 ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah It's raining men, amen 363 00:20:59,535 --> 00:21:04,095 ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah... ♪ PHONE RINGS 364 00:21:04,135 --> 00:21:08,495 ♪ Ame-e-e-e-en. ♪ 365 00:21:32,415 --> 00:21:34,255 Well, erm... 366 00:21:34,295 --> 00:21:37,054 It's not often I get to say this. But... 367 00:21:37,055 --> 00:21:40,335 for £1 million: 368 00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:42,575 The number one, 369 00:21:42,615 --> 00:21:46,295 followed by 100 zeros 370 00:21:46,343 --> 00:21:49,225 is known by what name? 371 00:21:50,295 --> 00:21:52,095 Googol. 372 00:21:52,135 --> 00:21:54,655 Megatron. 373 00:21:54,695 --> 00:21:56,615 Gigabit. 374 00:21:56,655 --> 00:21:58,215 Nanomole. 375 00:22:05,295 --> 00:22:08,175 Well, let's see. HE EXHALES 376 00:22:08,215 --> 00:22:12,215 Erm, Giga... 377 00:22:12,255 --> 00:22:13,855 Nano... 378 00:22:13,895 --> 00:22:15,645 Oh, God, don't start. 379 00:22:27,095 --> 00:22:29,015 HE STRAINS 380 00:22:30,575 --> 00:22:32,135 Right, OK. 381 00:22:34,975 --> 00:22:37,559 God, I don't... I don't, erm... 382 00:22:38,735 --> 00:22:42,775 Well? Watch, just watch... 383 00:22:42,815 --> 00:22:44,935 I'm not sure. 384 00:22:44,975 --> 00:22:47,415 However... LAUGHTER 385 00:22:47,455 --> 00:22:51,539 Charles, you haven't been sure since question two! 386 00:22:55,215 --> 00:22:59,455 God, I... I think... I think it's a Megatron. 387 00:23:05,095 --> 00:23:06,494 I have to say, I've... 388 00:23:06,495 --> 00:23:08,054 And I've never heard, 389 00:23:08,055 --> 00:23:09,894 I haven't... No, I've never heard of a googol. 390 00:23:09,895 --> 00:23:14,295 HE PANTS 391 00:23:14,335 --> 00:23:17,855 Do you know the answer? Yes, it's googol. 392 00:23:21,055 --> 00:23:22,889 That's what I thought. 393 00:23:26,495 --> 00:23:28,335 Googol. COUGHING 394 00:23:29,455 --> 00:23:32,015 Googol. COUGHING 395 00:23:34,255 --> 00:23:36,574 Yeah, I mean, you know, by process of elimination, 396 00:23:36,575 --> 00:23:39,374 I actually think it is a googol. But I don't know what a googol is. 397 00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:41,575 LAUGHTER 398 00:23:43,975 --> 00:23:46,174 It's not a gigabit, a nanomole, or a Megatron 399 00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:48,974 and there's only four of them, so it must be googol, mustn't it? 400 00:23:48,975 --> 00:23:50,215 I mean... 401 00:23:52,615 --> 00:23:55,735 HE LAUGHS 402 00:23:55,775 --> 00:23:58,654 I mean, I don't mind taking the odd risk now and again. 403 00:23:58,655 --> 00:24:00,415 CROWD GROAN 404 00:24:02,135 --> 00:24:05,215 My strategy has... has worked so far. 405 00:24:11,935 --> 00:24:14,134 Chris, I'm gonna play. CROWD GASP 406 00:24:14,135 --> 00:24:16,414 You know, you don't have to play this, Charles. 407 00:24:16,415 --> 00:24:18,774 No-one would blame you if you walked away right now, 408 00:24:18,775 --> 00:24:21,025 with half a million pounds. 409 00:24:27,375 --> 00:24:29,015 Googol. 410 00:24:29,055 --> 00:24:30,775 Final answer? 411 00:24:30,815 --> 00:24:33,015 Final answer. 412 00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:35,889 Catch me when I fall on the floor. 413 00:24:40,375 --> 00:24:41,894 Don't go to a break. 414 00:24:41,895 --> 00:24:45,174 Please, don't go to... Please, don't go for a break. 415 00:24:45,175 --> 00:24:47,374 We're taking a break. Oh, God! 416 00:24:47,375 --> 00:24:49,255 CROWD GROAN 417 00:24:49,295 --> 00:24:52,254 Don't go anywhere, I know you won't, 418 00:24:52,255 --> 00:24:56,054 on what is an epic night in British television. 419 00:24:56,055 --> 00:24:58,655 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 420 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,815 Oh, my God. 421 00:25:09,095 --> 00:25:11,614 We should stop it now. Just stop it. 422 00:25:11,615 --> 00:25:14,774 We can't stop it, we have no proof. We just, I don't know, just... 423 00:25:14,775 --> 00:25:18,174 HE SIGHS We have to carry on. 424 00:25:19,095 --> 00:25:21,854 You all right? Erm, yeah, I just, erm... 425 00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:23,894 I mean, no, not really. HE CHUCKLES 426 00:25:23,895 --> 00:25:25,375 No! 427 00:25:25,415 --> 00:25:28,574 So you can see, can you, if I've got the answer right on your screen? 428 00:25:28,575 --> 00:25:29,575 I can. 429 00:25:31,055 --> 00:25:34,055 I'm sure it'll just be a few seconds. 430 00:25:41,615 --> 00:25:42,855 Thank you. 431 00:25:45,095 --> 00:25:46,175 HE MOUTHS 432 00:25:52,695 --> 00:25:55,615 OK, studio, and... 433 00:25:55,655 --> 00:25:57,895 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 434 00:26:00,135 --> 00:26:01,495 Welcome back. 435 00:26:01,535 --> 00:26:04,774 Wow. Erm, we are here with Charles Ingram. 436 00:26:04,775 --> 00:26:08,975 Who, after first thinking it was Megatron, 437 00:26:09,015 --> 00:26:13,055 erm, then played googol as his final answer. 438 00:26:13,095 --> 00:26:16,012 Even though he'd never heard of it. 439 00:26:21,855 --> 00:26:23,335 Charles? 440 00:26:27,215 --> 00:26:32,255 You've just won £1 million! 441 00:26:32,295 --> 00:26:35,732 One million! 442 00:26:36,575 --> 00:26:42,415 You are the most amazing player we have ever, ever had! 443 00:26:42,455 --> 00:26:46,215 Diana? Come on down, my darling, come on. 444 00:26:46,255 --> 00:26:48,575 One million! 445 00:26:48,615 --> 00:26:51,495 £1 million! 446 00:26:51,535 --> 00:26:54,495 I can't believe it. CHEERING 447 00:26:55,735 --> 00:26:59,535 SHE SOBS 448 00:26:59,575 --> 00:27:03,175 The best player we have ever had! 449 00:27:03,215 --> 00:27:04,495 What a man! 450 00:27:04,535 --> 00:27:06,775 Quite an amazing man. 451 00:27:06,815 --> 00:27:10,655 I have no idea how you did it. 452 00:27:10,695 --> 00:27:13,934 I don't know. Unbelievable! Unbelievable! 453 00:27:13,935 --> 00:27:16,534 Unbelievable, Diana, my darling, come here. 454 00:27:16,535 --> 00:27:20,015 Ladies and gentlemen, Charles Ingram. 455 00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:24,215 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 456 00:27:30,424 --> 00:27:33,223 ♪ Right from Her doorway we roam... ♪ 457 00:27:33,224 --> 00:27:34,824 THEY LAUGH 458 00:27:34,864 --> 00:27:38,344 ♪ Eats and then It's a pleasure again 459 00:27:38,384 --> 00:27:39,983 ♪ Walkin' my baby... ♪ 460 00:27:39,984 --> 00:27:45,304 "Charles Ingram. One million." 461 00:27:45,344 --> 00:27:47,304 ♪ I don't mean maybe 462 00:27:47,344 --> 00:27:51,024 ♪ Walkin' my baby 463 00:27:51,064 --> 00:27:56,664 ♪ Back home. ♪ 464 00:27:56,704 --> 00:27:59,384 THEY LAUGH 465 00:28:00,904 --> 00:28:03,063 What? What am I listening for? 466 00:28:03,064 --> 00:28:05,024 Just wait. It, erm... 467 00:28:05,064 --> 00:28:09,384 I don't know, I don't know, just... play VT. 468 00:28:11,344 --> 00:28:15,584 'Googol.' COUGHING 469 00:28:15,624 --> 00:28:17,744 That, there. Right there. 470 00:28:17,784 --> 00:28:19,464 A cough. So what? 471 00:28:19,504 --> 00:28:21,183 There's always coughing. 472 00:28:21,184 --> 00:28:22,903 I think... I don't definitely know, 473 00:28:22,904 --> 00:28:24,743 but I think there's, like, a pattern. 474 00:28:24,744 --> 00:28:26,423 Of what, coughing? From who? 475 00:28:26,424 --> 00:28:28,143 Look, there's gotta be something, Paul. 476 00:28:28,144 --> 00:28:30,063 Watch last night's tape, he's useless. 477 00:28:30,064 --> 00:28:32,263 And then, what, he comes back an utter genius? 478 00:28:32,264 --> 00:28:34,384 Replay VT. 479 00:28:34,424 --> 00:28:36,824 'Googol.' COUGHING 480 00:28:36,864 --> 00:28:37,864 Turn it up. 481 00:28:37,904 --> 00:28:39,464 'Googol.' COUGHING 482 00:28:39,504 --> 00:28:40,663 Then he changes his answer. 483 00:28:40,664 --> 00:28:43,663 'By process of elimination, I actually think it is a googol. 484 00:28:43,664 --> 00:28:46,998 'But I just don't know what a googol is.' 485 00:28:50,704 --> 00:28:53,464 PHONE RINGS Hi, Paul? 486 00:28:53,504 --> 00:28:54,864 'Um, hi, Ruth.' 487 00:28:54,904 --> 00:28:57,423 Erm, we've had another millionaire. 488 00:28:57,424 --> 00:28:59,544 Oh. OK, great! 489 00:28:59,584 --> 00:29:02,544 Except... 490 00:29:02,584 --> 00:29:05,343 I think that... Erm, WE think something's not right. 491 00:29:05,344 --> 00:29:07,583 We think the guy may have cheated. 492 00:29:07,584 --> 00:29:11,024 PHONE RINGS 493 00:29:11,064 --> 00:29:12,224 Hello? 494 00:29:12,264 --> 00:29:14,063 What the shitting hell? 495 00:29:14,064 --> 00:29:17,144 BABY GARBLES 496 00:29:39,304 --> 00:29:40,743 Cheeky bastards, who are they? 497 00:29:40,744 --> 00:29:41,823 Are they one of that group 498 00:29:41,824 --> 00:29:43,823 you talked about getting on the show? Morning. 499 00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:46,063 We don't know, we just know he's a wrong'un. 500 00:29:46,064 --> 00:29:47,704 Are you OK? 501 00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:50,828 No, I'm not OK, of course, I'm not OK. 502 00:29:51,024 --> 00:29:52,903 Sorry, sorry, it's murder on the old... 503 00:29:52,904 --> 00:29:55,103 This is Lionel, from legal. Coffee? How do you take it? 504 00:29:55,104 --> 00:29:56,583 Oh, just, erm, massive. 505 00:29:56,584 --> 00:29:59,664 Look, before anything else, 506 00:29:59,704 --> 00:30:02,823 the most urgent thing is whether to air tomorrow's episode, 507 00:30:02,824 --> 00:30:04,743 because if we don't, then ten million people 508 00:30:04,744 --> 00:30:06,463 are gonna need something else to watch. 509 00:30:06,464 --> 00:30:08,503 I have a tape on its way, you can see for yourself. 510 00:30:08,504 --> 00:30:10,543 Well, what about the police? The police? 511 00:30:10,544 --> 00:30:12,783 Yeah. Is...? Is this a police...? 512 00:30:12,784 --> 00:30:16,543 Well, it's not... not. It's theft. It's £1 million. 513 00:30:16,544 --> 00:30:19,663 If this was a bank vault or a diamond store in Hatton Gardens 514 00:30:19,664 --> 00:30:21,623 there'd be helicopters by now, roadblocks. 515 00:30:21,624 --> 00:30:24,703 Come in... Ah, right, see for yourself. 516 00:30:24,704 --> 00:30:27,543 All I'm saying is, is it a crime to cheat on a game show? 517 00:30:27,544 --> 00:30:31,423 Well, it's... It's... Well... Stop saying "well", Lionel. 518 00:30:31,424 --> 00:30:33,623 I'm from legal. It's my job to say "well". 519 00:30:33,624 --> 00:30:34,744 SHE SNEEZES 520 00:30:38,464 --> 00:30:40,663 See for yourselves. 'Do you know what? 521 00:30:40,664 --> 00:30:44,903 'I think I am going to go for it. I'm gonna go for A1.' 522 00:30:44,904 --> 00:30:46,864 'Final answer? No.' 523 00:30:46,904 --> 00:30:48,584 LAUGHTER 524 00:30:50,064 --> 00:30:54,344 'No. Erm... A1. 525 00:30:54,384 --> 00:30:57,664 'Craig... David.' 526 00:30:57,704 --> 00:30:59,984 COUGHING 527 00:31:00,024 --> 00:31:02,704 Oh, Jesus, Je-sus. 528 00:31:02,744 --> 00:31:03,783 It's so obvious. 529 00:31:03,784 --> 00:31:07,663 And don't forget that his wife has already been on the show. 530 00:31:07,664 --> 00:31:08,943 She knows the ins and outs. 531 00:31:08,944 --> 00:31:10,943 'I normally guess wrong 80% of the time...' 532 00:31:10,944 --> 00:31:13,263 Watch now. He changes his answer. 533 00:31:13,264 --> 00:31:16,183 'I think I'm going to go with Craig David.' 534 00:31:16,184 --> 00:31:19,544 OK, I say we don't air. Agreed. 535 00:31:19,584 --> 00:31:21,823 We can edit forward to the next contestant in the chair. 536 00:31:21,824 --> 00:31:24,408 Would you fast forward, please? 537 00:31:25,624 --> 00:31:28,458 Can we do that, is it that simple? 538 00:31:29,784 --> 00:31:32,623 Oh, arse, the glitter on the floor. 539 00:31:32,624 --> 00:31:33,823 Well, if no-one has won, 540 00:31:33,824 --> 00:31:36,183 where did the glitter just come from? No-one will notice. 541 00:31:36,184 --> 00:31:37,184 Or care. 542 00:31:37,224 --> 00:31:40,343 This is Tecwen Whittock, from Whitchurch, Cardiff. 543 00:31:40,344 --> 00:31:42,903 Can you stretch out his turn, make him longer? 544 00:31:42,904 --> 00:31:44,624 It'll be a struggle. 545 00:31:44,664 --> 00:31:47,748 He was erm, nothing special, you know. 546 00:31:48,704 --> 00:31:50,824 KNOCK ON DOOR 547 00:31:50,864 --> 00:31:53,114 Did you order something? No. 548 00:31:58,304 --> 00:31:59,663 Oh. Hello, hello, David Briggs. 549 00:31:59,664 --> 00:32:01,703 Ah, yes, hello, hello. Hello, this is Ruth Settle. 550 00:32:01,704 --> 00:32:04,223 Hi. Hi, hello. Morning, morning. Oh, hello. 551 00:32:04,224 --> 00:32:06,384 Oh, hi. Sleep OK? 552 00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:09,104 If at all, you must be... 553 00:32:09,144 --> 00:32:11,943 Erm... Oh, what's this about? Oh, it's only to, erm... 554 00:32:11,944 --> 00:32:14,343 It's just to work out the next few days. 555 00:32:14,344 --> 00:32:15,783 The angle, the coverage. 556 00:32:15,784 --> 00:32:16,943 So your press conference, 557 00:32:16,944 --> 00:32:20,183 we thought, because of question 12 for 125,000, 558 00:32:20,184 --> 00:32:23,934 The Ambassadors is a painting by which artist? 559 00:32:25,904 --> 00:32:30,463 The... What, the Holbein? The Holbein. Well done, correct! 560 00:32:30,464 --> 00:32:36,103 We are thinking of hosting it there, in front of the painting. Ah, right. 561 00:32:36,104 --> 00:32:37,344 But you... 562 00:32:37,384 --> 00:32:39,863 You did keep changing your mind a lot, didn't you? 563 00:32:39,864 --> 00:32:43,103 Well, actually, that was to explain my thinking to the audience, 564 00:32:43,104 --> 00:32:46,503 so I wasn't just, you know, sat there like a muppet. 565 00:32:46,504 --> 00:32:49,903 It's, erm, probably just that, don't you think? 566 00:32:49,904 --> 00:32:51,821 What's "probably" what? 567 00:32:52,544 --> 00:32:56,223 Actually, erm, Diana mentions all these tips in her book 568 00:32:56,224 --> 00:32:58,863 that she's writing with her brother about the show. 569 00:32:58,864 --> 00:33:01,663 What? It'll help publicise it, won't it? Being a winner. 570 00:33:01,664 --> 00:33:04,223 You're writing a book? Oh, just a little stocking filler. 571 00:33:04,224 --> 00:33:06,703 With hints and things about how to get onto the show, 572 00:33:06,704 --> 00:33:08,743 how to play, just a few things that we've picked up 573 00:33:08,744 --> 00:33:10,703 from this community of fans, that's all. 574 00:33:10,704 --> 00:33:13,954 Gosh, that... That sound really helpful. 575 00:33:13,984 --> 00:33:16,183 I wouldn't mention that to the press yet. No. 576 00:33:16,184 --> 00:33:18,383 We'll... We'll have an embargo until the show airs. 577 00:33:18,384 --> 00:33:21,884 We have to handle everything... delicately. 578 00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:26,384 Guilty as sin. THEY GRUMBLE 579 00:33:26,424 --> 00:33:30,103 Bollocks. Look, they are quiz obsessive, they're... 580 00:33:30,104 --> 00:33:32,583 They are fans of the show, so they're a bit much, 581 00:33:32,584 --> 00:33:33,943 but apart from that. 582 00:33:33,944 --> 00:33:36,778 Watch the tape. Play her the tape. 583 00:33:38,104 --> 00:33:42,144 Oh, and she's, erm, writing a book, the wife, 584 00:33:42,184 --> 00:33:45,383 like, erm, an expose of the show. She what?! 585 00:33:45,384 --> 00:33:48,223 Oh, my God... It's just a tiny, little stocking filler. 586 00:33:48,224 --> 00:33:51,263 Look, I just come off the phone from some of our guys at the studio 587 00:33:51,264 --> 00:33:53,623 who are investigating all possible, you know, and... 588 00:33:53,624 --> 00:33:56,543 And they have gone into the car park with some sort of radio receiver 589 00:33:56,544 --> 00:33:58,703 and they're saying it's possible 590 00:33:58,704 --> 00:34:01,903 to listen in to the show relay from outside? 591 00:34:01,904 --> 00:34:04,143 David, do we not scramble that signal? 592 00:34:04,144 --> 00:34:06,543 Why would we scramble the signal? 593 00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:09,463 How do you scramble a signal? What's this now? The relay? 594 00:34:09,464 --> 00:34:12,303 I'm just saying that hypothetically, someone, 595 00:34:12,304 --> 00:34:14,823 maybe someone from this... this... this group 596 00:34:14,824 --> 00:34:17,623 could listen in to the show from outside. 597 00:34:17,624 --> 00:34:20,823 And how would that help them? To hear the questions! 598 00:34:20,824 --> 00:34:23,263 Look up the answers and communicate back in. 599 00:34:23,264 --> 00:34:25,543 To who? The person in the chair?! Maybe! I don't know! 600 00:34:25,544 --> 00:34:27,943 Or someone in the audience, with a mobile phone. 601 00:34:27,944 --> 00:34:29,703 We don't allow mobile phones in the studio. 602 00:34:29,704 --> 00:34:32,871 Yeah, but do we check? Course we check. 603 00:34:33,584 --> 00:34:35,464 Do we check? 604 00:34:35,504 --> 00:34:38,183 No. Course we don't check, how would we check? 605 00:34:38,184 --> 00:34:40,063 You don't search the audience? 606 00:34:40,064 --> 00:34:42,783 Let's get it all out now, shall we? After the horse has bolted. 607 00:34:42,784 --> 00:34:45,543 This is all just happening this morning. 608 00:34:45,544 --> 00:34:47,463 Right, it's a game show! It's not Fort Knox! 609 00:34:47,464 --> 00:34:50,863 Whoa, wait, are we saying that it's not someone coughing, then? 610 00:34:50,864 --> 00:34:53,623 It could be the coughing. It's definitely the coughing. 611 00:34:53,624 --> 00:34:55,783 Either way, I'm calling the police. 612 00:34:55,784 --> 00:34:58,143 Who would you even call? Like, which, like, branch? 613 00:34:58,144 --> 00:34:59,823 I'll text my person to look up for IP. 614 00:34:59,824 --> 00:35:01,863 Hold on, have they have even cashed the cheque yet? 615 00:35:01,864 --> 00:35:03,703 Wait, have...? Have we cancelled the cheque? 616 00:35:03,704 --> 00:35:05,704 I don't know. I mean... 617 00:35:05,744 --> 00:35:07,663 I mean, no, we haven't cancelled the cheque, 618 00:35:07,664 --> 00:35:10,463 I've been at the... Lionel. Should we cancel the cheque? 619 00:35:10,464 --> 00:35:13,183 I'm just thinking, we might need to wait for them to cash the cheque 620 00:35:13,184 --> 00:35:15,183 for it to be stealing. No, no, no, if we do that, 621 00:35:15,184 --> 00:35:17,383 that would be entrapment, surely, by us? 622 00:35:17,384 --> 00:35:18,783 Yeah, but if they cash the cheque, 623 00:35:18,784 --> 00:35:20,383 do we have to sue them to get it back? 624 00:35:20,384 --> 00:35:22,943 Am I cancelling the cheque, or aren't I?! Well... 625 00:35:22,944 --> 00:35:26,743 No, I just don't see it. Don't you hear it?! The coughing. 626 00:35:26,744 --> 00:35:29,583 Is that how loud it actually was? Yes. 627 00:35:29,584 --> 00:35:32,383 Well... No, we've isolated them a bit, for you to hear... 628 00:35:32,384 --> 00:35:35,143 Listen, you can hear the coughs at the right answers. 629 00:35:35,144 --> 00:35:37,663 Yeah, and I can hear the coughs on the wrong answers! 630 00:35:37,664 --> 00:35:39,863 Here. These are the people at Scotland Yard to call, 631 00:35:39,864 --> 00:35:42,543 it's something called the Celebrity Crimes Squad or something, 632 00:35:42,544 --> 00:35:45,183 I don't know. Really? Sounds like a shit detective show. 633 00:35:45,184 --> 00:35:47,183 Yeah, sounds like something we'd make. Wow. 634 00:35:47,184 --> 00:35:49,743 Wait, I'm confused, what are we saying to them? 635 00:35:49,744 --> 00:35:51,303 That this is... There's more people? 636 00:35:51,304 --> 00:35:53,543 That this is part of a bigger... conspiracy? 637 00:35:53,544 --> 00:35:54,823 All I'm saying is we don't know 638 00:35:54,824 --> 00:35:56,583 how many people were outside helping, 639 00:35:56,584 --> 00:35:57,623 inside, helping him. 640 00:35:57,624 --> 00:36:00,303 Yeah, but you can't pack the place out with people that you know. 641 00:36:00,304 --> 00:36:02,638 You only get the one ticket. 642 00:36:03,384 --> 00:36:04,384 Actually... 643 00:36:06,784 --> 00:36:08,823 Actually, on the first night, 644 00:36:08,824 --> 00:36:11,783 the Ingram's did have someone else there. 645 00:36:11,784 --> 00:36:13,384 Diana's brother. 646 00:36:14,584 --> 00:36:16,783 The brother... was there...? 647 00:36:16,784 --> 00:36:18,944 Yeah. God dammit! 648 00:36:21,344 --> 00:36:23,261 I'm calling the police. 649 00:36:24,344 --> 00:36:25,904 'What a man!' 650 00:36:25,944 --> 00:36:29,023 'A major disaster is occurring in New York City this afternoon.' 651 00:36:29,024 --> 00:36:31,264 Wait a sec... 652 00:36:31,304 --> 00:36:32,864 what is that? 653 00:36:32,904 --> 00:36:34,223 'World Trade Centre is on fire. 654 00:36:34,224 --> 00:36:38,623 'Early indications are that a Boeing 747 out of Boston 655 00:36:38,624 --> 00:36:43,263 'collided with the tower at 1:46 PM this afternoon, 8:46 AM CET.' 656 00:36:43,264 --> 00:36:45,984 Is that live? It must be.. 657 00:36:46,024 --> 00:36:48,903 'Eye witness reports are coming in that the plane banked sharply 658 00:36:48,904 --> 00:36:52,223 'and made a direct hit at around the 80th floor of the building. 659 00:36:52,224 --> 00:36:55,543 'More as we have it. Thank you, Nicholas. 660 00:36:55,544 --> 00:36:58,743 'As you can imagine, there is chaos in the streets of downtown New York. 661 00:36:58,744 --> 00:37:01,223 'All major buildings are being evacuated in the area 662 00:37:01,224 --> 00:37:03,743 'surrounding the World Trade Centre. 663 00:37:03,744 --> 00:37:07,823 'There's been a second collision, possibly another plane goes...' 664 00:37:07,824 --> 00:37:10,864 Are you OK? Just awful. 665 00:37:12,864 --> 00:37:16,531 Yeah. Puts it all in perspective, doesn't it? 666 00:37:16,544 --> 00:37:20,503 I haven't even told the chaps about our win yet, all seems a bit... 667 00:37:20,504 --> 00:37:22,703 Actually there was a message for you from Celador 668 00:37:22,704 --> 00:37:25,703 when I got back from school. I don't know if you... Right. 669 00:37:25,704 --> 00:37:27,984 OK, well, life goes on, eh? 670 00:37:29,224 --> 00:37:31,424 Yeah. 671 00:37:31,464 --> 00:37:33,944 I love you. I love you. 672 00:37:33,984 --> 00:37:35,744 Give me that number. 673 00:37:37,504 --> 00:37:40,343 Detective Sergeant Sam Ferguson from the Special Inquiry Unit, 674 00:37:40,344 --> 00:37:43,543 this is my colleague, Detective Constable Amir Cave. 675 00:37:43,544 --> 00:37:44,864 You rang. 676 00:37:44,904 --> 00:37:47,223 Well, I don't think any of us expected you to come today, 677 00:37:47,224 --> 00:37:50,024 given the, erm... Yeah. 678 00:37:50,064 --> 00:37:52,344 Terrible thing. But... 679 00:37:52,384 --> 00:37:54,143 crimes still need solving. 680 00:37:54,144 --> 00:37:57,263 So, we've been brought up to speed by Mr... 681 00:37:57,264 --> 00:38:00,681 PHONE RINGS Oh, excuse me. This'll be him. 682 00:38:05,544 --> 00:38:08,224 Hello, Paul Smith? Paul, hello. 683 00:38:08,264 --> 00:38:11,103 It's Charles Ingram here, I was just on your show. 684 00:38:11,104 --> 00:38:13,263 Charles, thank you for calling back. 685 00:38:13,264 --> 00:38:15,681 Erm, so I have to tell you... 686 00:38:15,704 --> 00:38:19,783 that we have suspicions from viewing the recording of Monday's programme 687 00:38:19,784 --> 00:38:23,183 and subsequently studying the tapes carefully, 688 00:38:23,184 --> 00:38:26,423 that there were irregularities during the taping of the show 689 00:38:26,424 --> 00:38:30,224 in which you participated. Oh, Good Lord, no. 690 00:38:30,264 --> 00:38:32,623 Because of that I have to tell you that these suspicions... 691 00:38:32,624 --> 00:38:36,458 THEY MUTTER ..have been referred to the police. 692 00:38:36,824 --> 00:38:40,223 Right. And thus we will not, for the moment, 693 00:38:40,224 --> 00:38:45,863 be airing the programme, or indeed authorising payment of the cheque. 694 00:38:45,864 --> 00:38:46,864 Right. 695 00:38:48,304 --> 00:38:50,888 Yeah. Well, I mean, you know... 696 00:38:52,384 --> 00:38:56,424 ...I completely refute that, obviously. 697 00:38:56,464 --> 00:38:59,024 All right. 698 00:38:59,064 --> 00:39:00,144 Good Lord. 699 00:39:03,584 --> 00:39:06,624 Well, goodbye. Goodbye. 700 00:39:21,589 --> 00:39:26,629 Police? You're an army major. I'm a teaching assistant. 701 00:39:26,669 --> 00:39:29,348 People like us don't deal with the police, this is Wiltshire. 702 00:39:29,349 --> 00:39:31,469 It's what he said. 703 00:39:31,509 --> 00:39:35,709 I sort of... told our book publisher about your win 704 00:39:35,749 --> 00:39:38,028 and they've set up this photo and interview thing 705 00:39:38,029 --> 00:39:40,708 for this Sunday. I know the Millionaire people said not to, 706 00:39:40,709 --> 00:39:42,908 but the publishers said it was too good not to. 707 00:39:42,909 --> 00:39:46,268 For the book... Well, there won't be a book, will there, if...? 708 00:39:46,269 --> 00:39:48,828 I bet it wasn't the publishers who said that, I bet it was Adrian. 709 00:39:48,829 --> 00:39:51,948 I bet you've been speaking to him. Have you spoken to Adrian again? 710 00:39:51,949 --> 00:39:54,828 How? If he's on the run? On the run! 711 00:39:54,829 --> 00:39:57,108 As if that's a normal sentence for a normal person to say! 712 00:39:57,109 --> 00:40:00,388 I'm a commissioned officer in the British Army. There are standards. 713 00:40:00,389 --> 00:40:02,588 DOG WHINES Come along, Buffy. 714 00:40:02,589 --> 00:40:04,988 Wait a minute, wait a minute. How do we know that it was Celador? 715 00:40:04,989 --> 00:40:06,548 That it was Paul Smith you spoke to? 716 00:40:06,549 --> 00:40:08,948 It was, I returned his call, on the number they left you... 717 00:40:08,949 --> 00:40:11,228 Yes, I know, but how do we know it's not a hoax. 718 00:40:11,229 --> 00:40:13,188 Someone in the community, taking the mickey. 719 00:40:13,189 --> 00:40:15,908 What...? Maybe that's what they do to everyone, everyone who wins. 720 00:40:15,909 --> 00:40:18,108 It's not a mickey-take, Diana. 721 00:40:18,109 --> 00:40:21,359 Well, it's a bit over the top, isn't it? 722 00:40:22,189 --> 00:40:24,508 Call it back again, that number. No. I'm not gonna call it. 723 00:40:24,509 --> 00:40:26,388 I want to hear it. No, I'm not gonna call it back. 724 00:40:26,389 --> 00:40:28,549 Then I'll do it. Diana! 725 00:40:29,669 --> 00:40:32,789 Hello. Erm, this is... Diana Ingram. 726 00:40:35,749 --> 00:40:38,708 Hello. Hi, erm, yes, we received a phone call 727 00:40:38,709 --> 00:40:41,748 from this number earlier and, well, it occurred to us 728 00:40:41,749 --> 00:40:44,348 that we didn't know whether it was real, or not. 729 00:40:44,349 --> 00:40:45,949 No, erm, no. 730 00:40:45,989 --> 00:40:47,828 No, I'm afraid it was real. 731 00:40:47,829 --> 00:40:50,269 This... This is Paul Smith. 732 00:40:50,309 --> 00:40:52,549 Yes, but how do we know? 733 00:40:52,589 --> 00:40:54,188 It could be a wind-up. Or the press. 734 00:40:54,189 --> 00:40:56,029 Erm... 735 00:40:56,069 --> 00:40:57,189 Well... 736 00:40:57,229 --> 00:40:58,469 Erm... O-OK. 737 00:40:58,509 --> 00:41:01,343 Erm, why don't you call back again 738 00:41:01,349 --> 00:41:03,766 and I won't answer this time, 739 00:41:03,789 --> 00:41:07,748 it'll take you through to my extension answering machine message. 740 00:41:07,749 --> 00:41:11,708 And you'll hear that this is me, and... and this is Celador. 741 00:41:11,709 --> 00:41:15,629 And that... that this is no wind-up, Mrs Ingram. 742 00:41:15,669 --> 00:41:16,669 OK. 743 00:41:26,509 --> 00:41:31,349 PHONE DIALS 744 00:41:33,309 --> 00:41:35,748 'Hello, you've reached Paul Smith at Celador. 745 00:41:35,749 --> 00:41:39,628 'Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can, thanks.' 746 00:41:39,629 --> 00:41:41,629 MESSAGE TONE BEEPS 747 00:41:47,589 --> 00:41:50,069 HE CLEARS THROAT 748 00:41:50,109 --> 00:41:51,988 We're doing that press interview. 749 00:41:51,989 --> 00:41:56,323 You won that money. It's yours. So let's tell people. 750 00:42:10,029 --> 00:42:13,588 We'll need to make a statement. They're cheats! 751 00:42:13,589 --> 00:42:16,423 I just can't get my head round it. 752 00:42:16,429 --> 00:42:21,179 That terribly nice major, a criminal mastermind? Bollocks. 753 00:42:21,669 --> 00:42:23,868 You really didn't notice anything? 754 00:42:23,869 --> 00:42:26,348 Well I-I suppose you've a lot going on. 755 00:42:26,349 --> 00:42:28,548 Yeah, but I'd hope that I'd have done this enough 756 00:42:28,549 --> 00:42:30,588 to notice if someone is trying to steal a million quid 757 00:42:30,589 --> 00:42:33,089 two feet in front of me, Paul. 758 00:42:34,269 --> 00:42:36,429 You all right? 759 00:42:36,469 --> 00:42:37,803 You look ragged. 760 00:42:40,229 --> 00:42:42,146 I feel upset, actually. 761 00:42:43,749 --> 00:42:47,669 This... Well, this is our thing, it's our baby. 762 00:42:47,709 --> 00:42:50,428 No-one will dare try anything like this again 763 00:42:50,429 --> 00:42:53,096 after all this, don't you worry. 764 00:42:53,989 --> 00:42:56,549 Who the hell was coughing? 765 00:42:56,589 --> 00:42:58,828 So what I'm gonna show you is what we've edited together 766 00:42:58,829 --> 00:43:02,496 of the show so far from the different angles. 767 00:43:02,869 --> 00:43:04,349 Play VT. 768 00:43:04,389 --> 00:43:06,629 'Googol.' COUGHING 769 00:43:06,669 --> 00:43:08,188 That cough there, then. 770 00:43:08,189 --> 00:43:10,148 Can you ascertain where it came from? 771 00:43:10,149 --> 00:43:11,268 Not the individual, no, 772 00:43:11,269 --> 00:43:13,108 we don't mic up every audience member. 773 00:43:13,109 --> 00:43:14,748 But we've got different mic tracks 774 00:43:14,749 --> 00:43:16,708 covering different areas of the studio. 775 00:43:16,709 --> 00:43:18,108 Now that particular cough. 776 00:43:18,109 --> 00:43:22,268 That came from the Fastest Finger mic, stage right. 777 00:43:22,269 --> 00:43:24,509 Play tape C. 778 00:43:24,549 --> 00:43:27,229 One of these five, sat here. 779 00:43:50,349 --> 00:43:52,148 I'm Detective Sergeant Ferguson. 780 00:43:52,149 --> 00:43:54,028 Here's a warrant to enter your property. 781 00:43:54,029 --> 00:43:56,348 I should tell you, we're placing you both under arrest 782 00:43:56,349 --> 00:43:58,228 on suspicion of procuring the execution 783 00:43:58,229 --> 00:43:59,988 of a valuable security by deception. 784 00:43:59,989 --> 00:44:01,428 You do not have to say anything... 785 00:44:01,429 --> 00:44:05,748 'What you've been told so far in the case for the prosecution...' 786 00:44:05,749 --> 00:44:09,509 seems to make total sense, doesn't it? 787 00:44:10,789 --> 00:44:15,148 A man, who didn't particularly like quizzes, arrived on the show, 788 00:44:15,149 --> 00:44:18,349 behaved strangely and won a million. 789 00:44:18,389 --> 00:44:22,868 So something must be wrong. He must have cheated. Right? 790 00:44:22,869 --> 00:44:25,948 Your Fastest Finger First machine? You're not serious. 791 00:44:25,949 --> 00:44:27,108 Uh, it's in the garage. 792 00:44:27,109 --> 00:44:29,948 We'll also be wanting a draft copy of your book, Mrs Ingram. 793 00:44:29,949 --> 00:44:32,148 My book? I-I-I... It... It's not finished. 794 00:44:32,149 --> 00:44:34,468 I haven't even spell-checked it yet. 795 00:44:34,469 --> 00:44:35,668 And what about our children? 796 00:44:35,669 --> 00:44:37,668 A specially-trained officer can stay with them, 797 00:44:37,669 --> 00:44:39,548 while you both are... No. No. 798 00:44:39,549 --> 00:44:41,108 You are under arrest, Mrs Ingram. 799 00:44:41,109 --> 00:44:46,026 But what if I were to tell you that it's all utter nonsense? 800 00:44:46,509 --> 00:44:47,588 That the three defendants 801 00:44:47,589 --> 00:44:49,788 who allegedly concocted this elaborate conspiracy 802 00:44:49,789 --> 00:44:52,509 had never even met? 803 00:44:52,549 --> 00:44:56,509 Something that the prosecution does not dispute. 804 00:44:56,549 --> 00:44:58,868 That the so-called significant coughs 805 00:44:58,869 --> 00:45:03,789 are only 19 out of a 192 recorded throughout the night? 806 00:45:03,829 --> 00:45:09,389 Sometimes on the right answers, sometimes on the wrong answers. 807 00:45:09,429 --> 00:45:12,228 And that there is no way of knowing that any of them 808 00:45:12,229 --> 00:45:15,029 even came from Mr Whittock? 809 00:45:15,069 --> 00:45:16,548 Could it simply be 810 00:45:16,549 --> 00:45:20,799 that everyone on the show was waiting for an attack? 811 00:45:22,109 --> 00:45:24,508 For something strange to happen? 812 00:45:24,509 --> 00:45:26,508 And in walks Charles Ingram. 813 00:45:26,509 --> 00:45:31,268 A, yes, eccentric, but actually quite intelligent army major... 814 00:45:31,269 --> 00:45:33,989 and his fate was set. 815 00:45:34,029 --> 00:45:36,868 I put it to you, that this is, in fact, 816 00:45:36,869 --> 00:45:39,709 a series of horrible coincidences. 817 00:45:39,749 --> 00:45:43,748 And that Major Charles Ingram is completely innocent. 818 00:45:43,749 --> 00:45:47,228 Your honour, here is the case for the defence. 819 00:45:47,229 --> 00:45:50,549 HE COUGHS 83407

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