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♪♪
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Great news!
3
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Chago's daughter Margarita
is getting baptized,
4
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and we're all invited!
5
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,677
- Oh, yeah!
- That's so sweet!
6
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,412
Oh, I love it! I got the perfect suit.
7
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Oh, that baby's so cute!
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Her name is Alice, but
they nicknamed her Margarita
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because that's how she got made.
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Question... has Chago
picked a godfather,
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and can I throw my nombre in the hat?
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- Ugh...
- Oh, my God.
13
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Are you Cuban? Are you family?
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- Are you Catholic?
- I'm two out of three.
15
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You're none out of three!
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Estrellita and her family
are coming in from Miami.
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00:00:33,531 --> 00:00:36,365
Which means Mirtha is coming,
which means I have to spritz
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the place with holy water
because she is La Diabla.
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00:00:40,572 --> 00:00:42,305
- Oh, um...
- What's happening?
20
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Yep.
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This is just Febreze until
I can get the real stuff.
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I thought you settled
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00:00:46,804 --> 00:00:48,605
the mantilla feud and
you're all good now.
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No, Tia made a comment about
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Abuelita's croquetas being
dry and now it's back on.
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You know what will be dry?
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Every eye at her funeral!
28
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Yeah, but your ridiculous vieja feud
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isn't gonna be the problem this time.
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What is?
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Make America great again!
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Make America great again!
Make America great again!
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Oh, that's right.
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♪ This is it ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, whoa ♪
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♪ One day at a time ♪
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Because they're like us, I
always forget they're like that.
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Okay, as long as we stay away
from politics, it'll be fine.
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It's a baptism... we don't
have to talk during the service,
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and afterwards, we'll gossip
about how Chago and Valeria
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got married seven months ago
and Margarita is a miracle baby.
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What will we do after?
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Because they are of
course staying with us.
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What?!
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No, Mami. I know they're family and...
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We don't send family to hotels
like los Americanos frios.
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Good, so you get it.
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We have to make an exception this time.
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The only way to keep the family together
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is to keep the family apart.
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Well, if they cannot stay with
you, they will stay with me.
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Night night, Mirtha.
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I hope the floor isn't as hard
as your bistec empanizado.
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00:02:00,918 --> 00:02:03,287
If I wanted to hear
screeching from an old bag,
55
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I'd play with this zipper!
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You know what I wish had a zipper?
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Your mouth!
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They have to stay. They are family.
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I'm with Abuelita.
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I hope the Reyeses stay
as long as they want.
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I love Tio ATM.
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- Tio ATM?
- That's what I call Tio Juanito.
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How great is it being Cuban?
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iEso, Papito!
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[CHA-CHING!]
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He gives me $20 every time
I say something he likes.
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This is all a disaster.
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Just keep it light.
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Talk about non-controversial stuff.
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Like the weather.
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Gotta love this LA weather, huh?
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Thank you, "global warming".
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Maybe try sports?
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How dare that football guy
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disrespect our troops by
kneeling down peacefully?
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How about movies?
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If you have a penis, use the men's room!
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- Why would that come up?
- It always comes up!
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I still think the Reyeses
should stay with us.
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What? You of all people
should be against it,
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you disagree with them about everything!
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True. I mean, when I came
out to Tio, he said...
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You just haven't met
the right boy yet, Elena.
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That's because they don't
make them like you, Tio.
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iEso, Papito!
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[CHA-CHING!]
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But they're voters in
Florida, a swing state,
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so we can't let them
leave till December.
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[THUNDER CRASHES]
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No. Politics and family do not mix,
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and that's why I'm putting my foot down.
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The Reyeses can't stay with us, iy ya!
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- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- Too late.
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They just landed,
they're on their way here.
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iY ya, y ya!
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Just landed? The baptism is next week!
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They are coming early
to have a mini-vacation
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and do all the things
they can't do in Florida.
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Go to the beach, visit Disneyland,
see an orange grove.
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You are literally describing Florida!
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This is terrible.
102
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It's just going to be a
week of fighting and yelling.
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Yeah, how is that different
than any other week?
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Oh, my God. Can I please fix everything?
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- Oh, boy.
- What I love most about you guys
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is how you talk about everything.
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Every sigh, every slight exhale,
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00:04:06,624 --> 00:04:07,925
you're like, "What's going on there?
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00:04:07,927 --> 00:04:10,159
Family meeting, love, love, hugs, hugs".
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Why are you telling us
things we already know?
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Because it's a huge
mistake in this situation!
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Let my wildly dysfunctional
family be your guide.
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Just don't talk to each other.
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That is impossible.
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Yeah, Mami sometimes
FaceTimes me while I'm peeing.
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And that is only because I am cooking,
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because otherwise I would just walk in.
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You gotta retrain yourselves.
Father and I have spent weeks
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without saying a word to each other.
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He once left a Post-It
note on my door that said,
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"I'm not sure you're mine".
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I saved it and look at it
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whenever I think I might love him.
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And everybody should do that?
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Yes, because then you won't fight.
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See, you keep the feelings inside,
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where the only person
they can harm is yourself.
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Hmm...
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[HIGH-PITCHED WHISTLING]
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[GROANING]
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♪♪
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Those explosions remind me
we need a strong military.
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Eso, Papito.
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[CHA-CHING!]
135
00:05:11,856 --> 00:05:13,990
Yeah, keeping it inside
doesn't work for Cubans.
136
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We have to say everything,
then keep saying it louder
137
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until asked to leave the restaurant.
138
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No, you just gotta push it down deeper
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so you die of an ulcer
instead of an explosion!
140
00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:25,468
Ha, yeah, no. Maybe you should
go back to your apartment now,
141
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since this is a family issue
that doesn't include you.
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[HIGH-PITCHED WHISTLING]
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[GULPS]
144
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See? Totally works.
145
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[GROANS]
146
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God, I hate my father.
147
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[EXPLOSION]
148
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Lupita, you're all
worried about nothing.
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Families have disagreements.
150
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But that does not mean
we cannot be polite.
151
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Polite? Ha!
152
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What's that look like?
153
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♪♪
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I say, I'm quite nervous
that you and your liberal ilk
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are going to confiscate my musket.
156
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Balderdash and poppycock!
157
00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:01,637
Of course you'll retain
your blunderbuss.
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00:06:01,639 --> 00:06:03,739
Crumpet!
159
00:06:03,741 --> 00:06:05,675
I'm hearing rumblings from the colonies
160
00:06:05,677 --> 00:06:07,543
about this Hamilton chap.
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Pip pip, my good Papito!
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- [CHA-CHING!]
- Mm!
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[LAUGHTER]
164
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What?
165
00:06:15,386 --> 00:06:17,920
I think you're confusing
politeness with Britishness.
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And you think Tia Mirtha
is going to be polite back?
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Hmm...
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00:06:22,260 --> 00:06:24,326
Lydia, can I borrow your lipstick?
169
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I want to see what the color
looks like on full lips.
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She used the whole tube!
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Is it my fault she has the
bemba of a puffer fish?!
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- So we're screwed.
- No.
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We will just have to settle
this the old-fashioned way.
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A talent contest!
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- ♪♪
- _
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♪ Everybody loves me ♪
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♪ They tell me I'm so lovely ♪
178
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♪ Compare my voice to
that of the angels ♪
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♪ There's no one like me,
that's what they say ♪
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Ugh!
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♪ I am the one who has all the talent ♪
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♪ My beauty's epic,
so hide your talons ♪
183
00:07:02,867 --> 00:07:04,900
♪ Because this contest, I'm gonna slay ♪
184
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,368
- Huh!
- ♪ I understand why you get so jealous ♪
185
00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:08,604
- Oy!
- ♪ Why would that be? ♪
186
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- ♪ I get all the fellas ♪
- Aah!
187
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- ♪ I am gonna kick your ass! ♪
- ♪ I am gonna kick your ass! ♪
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♪♪
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Ladies and gentlemen,
it is I, Gloria Estefan.
190
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And the winner is...
191
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Lydia!
192
00:07:24,522 --> 00:07:25,721
But... Oy!
193
00:07:25,723 --> 00:07:27,456
She is the best dancer,
194
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:28,958
the best singer,
195
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,093
and I don't know what her
moisturizing regime is,
196
00:07:31,095 --> 00:07:34,330
but she looks like a baby,
and her lips are the fullest!
197
00:07:34,332 --> 00:07:39,301
But, Gloria Estefan, people
always say I remind them of you!
198
00:07:39,303 --> 00:07:40,903
Dream on, loser!
199
00:07:40,905 --> 00:07:43,172
Our queen has spoken.
200
00:07:43,174 --> 00:07:45,407
♪♪
201
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[VOCALIZING] ♪ Gloria Estefan! ♪
202
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What is even happening?!
203
00:07:50,815 --> 00:07:54,150
Why would Gloria Estefan be here?
204
00:07:54,152 --> 00:07:56,852
[SPEAKS SPANISH] Because everyone knows
205
00:07:56,854 --> 00:08:00,389
if a Cuban closes her eyes and
swishes her hips three times,
206
00:08:00,391 --> 00:08:01,657
she appears.
207
00:08:01,659 --> 00:08:03,159
Okay, Mami, you've lost your mind.
208
00:08:03,161 --> 00:08:05,694
Well, I had a little rum.
This is very stressful.
209
00:08:05,696 --> 00:08:07,129
[GULPING]
210
00:08:07,131 --> 00:08:09,264
Mom, face it. There's
no avoiding politics,
211
00:08:09,266 --> 00:08:11,534
so we may as well try to
talk some sense into them.
212
00:08:11,536 --> 00:08:14,003
No! Our two families
were fighting for so long,
213
00:08:14,005 --> 00:08:15,771
and we just got back on track.
214
00:08:15,773 --> 00:08:17,006
I don't want to mess that up.
215
00:08:17,008 --> 00:08:19,375
So no politics. End of discussion.
216
00:08:19,377 --> 00:08:21,877
Okay, but they're
going to talk about it.
217
00:08:21,879 --> 00:08:23,080
And if we say nothing,
218
00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:25,281
you better be okay with
what's gonna happen.
219
00:08:25,283 --> 00:08:28,484
We won again! Four more years!
220
00:08:28,486 --> 00:08:31,453
And they've perfected
the artificial heart,
221
00:08:31,455 --> 00:08:36,225
so he will live forever
and be president forever!
222
00:08:36,227 --> 00:08:39,295
If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
223
00:08:39,297 --> 00:08:40,963
iEso, Papito!
224
00:08:40,965 --> 00:08:42,698
[SLOT MACHINE BELLS DINGING]
225
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,033
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
226
00:08:44,035 --> 00:08:47,369
Okay. If there has to be a fight,
227
00:08:47,371 --> 00:08:48,938
then we're gonna win it.
228
00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:51,373
[GULPING]
229
00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:52,810
iY ya!
230
00:08:54,108 --> 00:08:56,309
So, we're gonna argue
politics, let's do this!
231
00:08:56,311 --> 00:08:57,810
How do I do this?
232
00:08:57,812 --> 00:09:00,413
Hey, cuz, you still like that
comemierda you voted for?
233
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,448
Yeah? Well, either get
your head out your ass
234
00:09:02,450 --> 00:09:04,484
or get the hell out of my house!
235
00:09:04,486 --> 00:09:06,819
See you at Christmas.
236
00:09:06,821 --> 00:09:08,734
Love the attitude.
237
00:09:08,736 --> 00:09:10,903
But you need some ammo to back it up.
238
00:09:10,905 --> 00:09:12,905
Right, I got to hit her with facts.
239
00:09:12,907 --> 00:09:14,273
Give me some facts.
240
00:09:14,275 --> 00:09:16,342
Hillary got 3 million more votes!
241
00:09:16,344 --> 00:09:19,778
Hillary runs a pedophile
ring out of a pizza parlor!
242
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:21,780
And the pizza isn't even good!
243
00:09:21,782 --> 00:09:24,617
The ice caps are melting
and sea levels are rising.
244
00:09:24,619 --> 00:09:26,319
[SCOFFS] First there's a drought,
245
00:09:26,321 --> 00:09:28,754
now there's too much
water?! Make up your mind!
246
00:09:28,756 --> 00:09:33,325
Even your guy had to admit
that Obama was born in America.
247
00:09:33,327 --> 00:09:35,628
Mm, of course he was.
248
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:36,695
[DING!]
249
00:09:36,697 --> 00:09:39,164
Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you...
250
00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,699
facts don't matter anymore.
251
00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:43,068
- What?
- Yeah, they had a good run.
252
00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:45,938
But it turns out people want
to believe what they believe
253
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:48,907
more than they want to
believe what is actually true.
254
00:09:48,909 --> 00:09:50,876
- Is that true?
- Does it matter?
255
00:09:50,878 --> 00:09:53,712
Que barbaridad. [GULPS]
256
00:09:53,714 --> 00:09:56,915
Unfortunately, what you have
to do now to win is go negative.
257
00:09:56,917 --> 00:09:59,685
What happened to, "When
they go low, we go high?"
258
00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:02,021
Yeah, that went out
the window with facts.
259
00:10:02,023 --> 00:10:05,491
So, what dirt do you have on Estrellita?
260
00:10:05,493 --> 00:10:07,059
Hmm...
261
00:10:07,061 --> 00:10:09,361
Hey, Estrellita, remind me...
262
00:10:09,363 --> 00:10:14,166
was it '96 or '97 when you
had that pregnancy scare?
263
00:10:14,168 --> 00:10:15,968
- [GASPS]
- [GASPS]
264
00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,703
[CHUCKLES]
265
00:10:17,705 --> 00:10:20,539
You didn't hate Planned
Parenthood back then, did you?
266
00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:22,811
At least I wasn't on a first-name basis
267
00:10:22,813 --> 00:10:25,110
with the nurse who gave
out the free condoms!
268
00:10:25,112 --> 00:10:27,112
- [GASPS]
- [GASPS]
269
00:10:27,114 --> 00:10:28,580
[SQUEALS, CHUCKLES]
270
00:10:28,582 --> 00:10:30,616
How about that summer you taught me
271
00:10:30,618 --> 00:10:32,785
all about mouth stuff using a cucumber?
272
00:10:32,787 --> 00:10:35,327
Nope! Bad plan. We
gotta stay above the fray.
273
00:10:35,329 --> 00:10:38,223
We are a classy family and
we're gonna stay classy, damn it.
274
00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:40,125
[GULPING] Ahh!
275
00:10:40,127 --> 00:10:41,760
- Ugh.
- You know, we just had
276
00:10:41,762 --> 00:10:44,229
an assembly at school
about conflict resolution.
277
00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:46,065
These two kids were filming a fake fight
278
00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:47,733
for TikTok and then it turned real.
279
00:10:47,735 --> 00:10:49,702
Oh, yeah. They sent
an e-mail home about it
280
00:10:49,704 --> 00:10:51,403
that I skimmed and deleted. Go on.
281
00:10:51,405 --> 00:10:53,472
Okay, it's got three steps.
282
00:10:53,474 --> 00:10:56,375
First, you ask a
non-threatening question.
283
00:10:56,377 --> 00:10:59,478
Then, you listen to
the person's response.
284
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,980
Then, you find common ground.
285
00:11:01,982 --> 00:11:04,016
Ask, Listen, Find...
286
00:11:04,018 --> 00:11:05,784
"ALF"!
287
00:11:05,786 --> 00:11:09,588
I hate ALF. Just another
illegal alien in our country.
288
00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:12,358
[SIREN WAILING]
289
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,027
Okay, tell me how it works,
but don't call it "ALF".
290
00:11:15,029 --> 00:11:17,162
Okay, we need an issue
to use as an example.
291
00:11:17,164 --> 00:11:19,031
Let's start with the thing I know best.
292
00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:20,233
'90s boy bands?
293
00:11:20,235 --> 00:11:22,242
All the places to get
something free on your birthday?
294
00:11:22,244 --> 00:11:25,046
How to not wear lipstick
but still succeed?
295
00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:27,316
Dang, I'm good at a lot of things.
296
00:11:27,318 --> 00:11:29,152
But I was talking about health care.
297
00:11:29,154 --> 00:11:32,878
Okay, so "Ask" a neutral question.
298
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,248
So, obviously, everyone
should have health care, right?
299
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:38,417
Okay, MSNBC.
300
00:11:38,419 --> 00:11:41,487
- Wow, Mom!
- What was wrong with that?
301
00:11:41,489 --> 00:11:43,655
You jumped down her throat.
302
00:11:43,657 --> 00:11:46,024
You totally assumed she
would care about other people.
303
00:11:46,026 --> 00:11:48,594
Right, right. Good,
this is good, keep going.
304
00:11:48,596 --> 00:11:52,431
It's got to be a completely
uncontroversial question.
305
00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:54,500
Being healthy is good, right?
306
00:11:54,502 --> 00:11:57,371
Oh, yes. If you don't have
your health, what do you have?
307
00:11:58,973 --> 00:12:02,808
Of course, if we had socialized
medicine, then we'd all be dead.
308
00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:05,443
Did you know that, in Canada,
a lady had to wait eight years
309
00:12:05,445 --> 00:12:07,212
for a liver transplant,
and then instead,
310
00:12:07,214 --> 00:12:09,181
they gave her a breast implant?
311
00:12:09,183 --> 00:12:11,083
I saw it on Facebook.
312
00:12:11,085 --> 00:12:14,086
I bet her husband loved it.
313
00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:16,088
Where is the lie?
314
00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:18,457
And I respond to the crazy how?
315
00:12:18,459 --> 00:12:21,160
You "Find" common ground.
316
00:12:21,162 --> 00:12:23,362
Okay.
317
00:12:23,364 --> 00:12:26,398
We... are both on Facebook.
318
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,066
Good! Keep going!
319
00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,735
Find more common ground.
320
00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:34,206
And, uh, you're upset about
unnecessary medical procedures.
321
00:12:34,208 --> 00:12:36,175
- Exactly.
- Great!
322
00:12:36,177 --> 00:12:38,876
So we both want to live in
a world where we prioritize
323
00:12:38,878 --> 00:12:41,246
good health care that
doesn't cost too much.
324
00:12:41,248 --> 00:12:44,416
- Agreed?
- Agreed.
325
00:12:44,418 --> 00:12:47,249
Speaking of health care,
I'm gonna forward you a meme
326
00:12:47,251 --> 00:12:50,355
about how Obamacare paid
for a caravan of illegals
327
00:12:50,357 --> 00:12:52,224
to get free nose jobs.
328
00:12:52,226 --> 00:12:53,892
It's a big problem.
329
00:12:53,894 --> 00:12:55,093
Ugh...
330
00:12:55,095 --> 00:12:56,562
Well, what do I do now?
331
00:12:56,564 --> 00:12:58,330
Agree to disagree.
332
00:12:58,332 --> 00:13:00,566
Agree to disagree?! So she gets to say
333
00:13:00,568 --> 00:13:03,368
all of her nonsense and I
just have to be nice about it?
334
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:05,003
Yeah. Because it takes years.
335
00:13:05,005 --> 00:13:08,006
My teacher says this is what
they use in the Middle East.
336
00:13:08,008 --> 00:13:09,508
I don't have years!
337
00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:11,543
There's Cubans in an Uber right now!
338
00:13:11,545 --> 00:13:13,445
We still have no plan! [SIGHS]
339
00:13:13,447 --> 00:13:15,481
This is so much harder than I thought.
340
00:13:15,483 --> 00:13:18,283
Changing peoples' minds
about politics is hard.
341
00:13:18,285 --> 00:13:21,253
How did you think it was going to go?
342
00:13:21,255 --> 00:13:24,189
And that's why I believe what I believe.
343
00:13:24,191 --> 00:13:25,858
[CLAPPING]
344
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:29,628
Thank you for opening our eyes
with that beautiful speech.
345
00:13:29,630 --> 00:13:32,531
Eso, Lupita. America.
346
00:13:32,533 --> 00:13:36,068
I can't believe we ever
voted for that person!
347
00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:37,903
What fools we've been!
348
00:13:37,905 --> 00:13:40,973
And Boys II Men is better than NSYNC.
349
00:13:40,975 --> 00:13:45,077
And I was always jealous
of your curly hair.
350
00:13:45,079 --> 00:13:47,546
It could happen. Right?
351
00:13:47,548 --> 00:13:49,481
Aw, Mom. [CHUCKLES]
352
00:13:49,483 --> 00:13:51,884
No. It's not going to
go anything like that.
353
00:13:51,886 --> 00:13:54,720
Well, then, it's going to go like this.
354
00:13:54,722 --> 00:13:57,189
I'm gonna drain your swamp.
355
00:13:57,191 --> 00:13:59,057
Bring it, snowflake!
356
00:13:59,059 --> 00:14:01,328
[GRUNTING]
357
00:14:04,298 --> 00:14:05,898
Stop fighting!
358
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:08,267
Here, have some of my arroz con pollo.
359
00:14:08,269 --> 00:14:10,435
More like arroz con caca!
360
00:14:10,437 --> 00:14:13,105
[GRUNTING]
361
00:14:13,107 --> 00:14:15,340
[GRUNTS]
362
00:14:15,342 --> 00:14:18,210
But her e-mails...
363
00:14:18,212 --> 00:14:21,513
- Uh...
- Uh...
364
00:14:21,515 --> 00:14:23,916
- Huh?
- Uh...
365
00:14:23,918 --> 00:14:25,853
Oh, we're screwed.
366
00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:28,936
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
367
00:14:30,447 --> 00:14:33,885
Oh, it's been so long, let
me get a good look at you!
368
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,445
Well, you can't do that!
369
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,614
She is right.
370
00:14:41,616 --> 00:14:43,740
Fire will only make Mirtha stronger.
371
00:14:43,742 --> 00:14:45,909
I've got it! Let's move!
372
00:14:45,911 --> 00:14:47,744
I'll have the whole building air-lifted
373
00:14:47,746 --> 00:14:49,446
and we'll start a new life in Vancouver!
374
00:14:49,448 --> 00:14:51,849
You guys will be so cool
as the only Latinos there.
375
00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:54,218
- Hi-ya!
- You mean iy ya?
376
00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:57,521
- What'd I say?
- Okay, okay!
377
00:14:57,523 --> 00:15:00,491
They can stay in a hotel!
378
00:15:00,493 --> 00:15:03,393
Mami, that's very big of
you, but it's too late.
379
00:15:03,395 --> 00:15:06,964
Good, because I already changed
my mind again in shame.
380
00:15:06,966 --> 00:15:10,200
I, for one, am glad. This is important.
381
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:12,136
Mom, if we want things to change,
382
00:15:12,138 --> 00:15:15,272
then isn't it on us to talk
to the people that we love?
383
00:15:15,274 --> 00:15:16,573
Even if it's hard?
384
00:15:16,575 --> 00:15:19,743
I know, baby, but we're just
so far apart on this stuff.
385
00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:21,845
I just can't imagine
what they're gonna say.
386
00:15:21,847 --> 00:15:25,115
I think I might be able
to piece it together.
387
00:15:25,117 --> 00:15:27,563
If we're being generous,
the things they care about
388
00:15:27,565 --> 00:15:30,756
are actually... the same
things we care about.
389
00:15:31,824 --> 00:15:34,057
I read this thing, and it's like...
390
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,160
Let's say I'm trying
to get to San Diego.
391
00:15:36,162 --> 00:15:37,995
There's a train going to New York
392
00:15:37,997 --> 00:15:39,329
and a train going to Phoenix.
393
00:15:39,331 --> 00:15:41,596
Neither one's ideal, so I pick the one
394
00:15:41,598 --> 00:15:43,300
that gets me closer
to where I want to go.
395
00:15:43,302 --> 00:15:45,536
That's how I feel about this president.
396
00:15:45,538 --> 00:15:48,105
Whatever else happens,
he's going to appoint
397
00:15:48,107 --> 00:15:51,775
Supreme Court justices who
are going to finally protect
398
00:15:51,777 --> 00:15:53,777
the lives of unborn babies.
399
00:15:53,779 --> 00:15:56,280
Is this guy perfect? No.
400
00:15:56,282 --> 00:15:58,749
Do I want him to come over
to our house for dinner?
401
00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:01,185
God, no. But be honest...
402
00:16:01,187 --> 00:16:03,716
politicians are all
terrible in some way,
403
00:16:03,718 --> 00:16:06,523
so you have to find the ones
who will do what you want.
404
00:16:06,525 --> 00:16:10,027
And come on, you're telling me
your guy is your first choice?
405
00:16:10,029 --> 00:16:12,396
Everything you ever dreamed of?
406
00:16:12,398 --> 00:16:13,897
I don't think so.
407
00:16:13,899 --> 00:16:18,368
Look, our parents sacrificed
so much for us to be Americans.
408
00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:22,105
So when I hear about free
college and free health care,
409
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:25,576
my shield goes up because
that's what Castro promised.
410
00:16:25,578 --> 00:16:27,110
We all know how that turned out.
411
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,913
And I don't care about the
president's personal life.
412
00:16:29,915 --> 00:16:34,218
I care about what he's gonna do
so I can keep my personal life.
413
00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:36,186
The world is a scary place,
414
00:16:36,188 --> 00:16:38,088
and there's hard decisions to be made,
415
00:16:38,090 --> 00:16:39,691
and we don't like to think about that,
416
00:16:39,693 --> 00:16:41,694
but it can't always
be about your feelings
417
00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:43,627
and wanting to be nice to everybody.
418
00:16:43,629 --> 00:16:47,064
That's why, as much as it
hurts my Christian heart,
419
00:16:47,066 --> 00:16:50,167
we can't just say, "Everybody come in".
420
00:16:50,169 --> 00:16:52,035
That's why we need a tough guy.
421
00:16:52,037 --> 00:16:54,805
He may be a bully, but he's our bully.
422
00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:56,805
And he won, so get over it.
423
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,375
It's not my fault that he was
opening cans of whoopass
424
00:16:59,377 --> 00:17:01,745
while all your candidates
majored in gender studies.
425
00:17:01,747 --> 00:17:06,216
The world may be crazy right
now, but you and I are safe.
426
00:17:06,218 --> 00:17:09,119
Because he's keeping us safe.
427
00:17:09,121 --> 00:17:11,722
And what's what's important to me.
428
00:17:11,724 --> 00:17:13,357
Dang, you're good.
429
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,859
Like, I was actually
nodding during some of that.
430
00:17:15,861 --> 00:17:18,595
I know, I kind of scared myself.
431
00:17:18,597 --> 00:17:23,433
So, Mom, if she says that,
what are you going to say back?
432
00:17:23,435 --> 00:17:25,802
Well...
433
00:17:25,804 --> 00:17:27,105
Wow.
434
00:17:27,107 --> 00:17:29,773
I am so stunned that we
are looking at the world
435
00:17:29,775 --> 00:17:31,908
and seeing such different things.
436
00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:33,577
You think he keeps you safe?
437
00:17:33,579 --> 00:17:36,680
He mishandles every
crisis that comes his way.
438
00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:38,248
Look at Puerto Rico.
439
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:42,185
A hurricane, earthquakes, the
whole island without power.
440
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,855
And that guy comes and he
throws a bunch of paper towels,
441
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:46,556
and then he's like, "Bye!"
442
00:17:46,558 --> 00:17:50,127
Now imagine something
happening on a global scale.
443
00:17:50,129 --> 00:17:54,398
Something so huge, it
completely shuts everything down,
444
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,067
and we're stuck waiting
for someone to lead us
445
00:17:57,069 --> 00:17:59,803
while we watch episodes
of our favorite TV shows,
446
00:17:59,805 --> 00:18:01,972
but now they have to be animated.
447
00:18:01,974 --> 00:18:05,542
I know, it sounds crazy,
but look into my eyes
448
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:09,279
and tell me that that's the
guy who will get us through it.
449
00:18:09,281 --> 00:18:11,615
Remember when we used
to joke about this stuff?
450
00:18:11,617 --> 00:18:15,919
"I'm a crazy liberal, you're a
stuffy conservative, ha ha ha".
451
00:18:15,921 --> 00:18:17,321
I miss that.
452
00:18:17,323 --> 00:18:19,823
Us being on opposite sides isn't new.
453
00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:23,093
But now it's different.
This guy made it different.
454
00:18:23,095 --> 00:18:25,996
People used to actually
try to hide their racism.
455
00:18:25,998 --> 00:18:28,465
But the president made it cool again!
456
00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:32,736
We have to stand up for one
another now more than ever.
457
00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:36,306
That's why we need to
say black lives matter,
458
00:18:36,308 --> 00:18:39,743
trans lives matter, brown lives matter.
459
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:43,613
When he calls Mexicans
drug dealers and rapists,
460
00:18:43,615 --> 00:18:45,615
you think that doesn't affect you?
461
00:18:45,617 --> 00:18:48,489
Do you think if your
son was in that Walmart
462
00:18:48,491 --> 00:18:51,125
where the guy said he was
there to shoot all the Mexicans,
463
00:18:51,127 --> 00:18:53,513
he would have stopped to
ask if Flavio was Cuban
464
00:18:53,515 --> 00:18:54,958
before pulling the trigger?
465
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,460
He wouldn't have cared.
466
00:18:56,462 --> 00:18:59,930
Because the president told
him immigrants are dangerous
467
00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:01,531
and don't deserve to be here.
468
00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:02,966
You want to keep us safe?
469
00:19:02,968 --> 00:19:06,169
How about not deporting people
who fought for this country.
470
00:19:06,171 --> 00:19:09,673
who served with me, who
risked their lives for you?
471
00:19:09,675 --> 00:19:13,304
Crazy idea... what if, when
people came to this country,
472
00:19:13,306 --> 00:19:16,079
we were like, "Oh, are you
fleeing a horrible situation?
473
00:19:16,081 --> 00:19:17,948
Please, come on in, it's all good!
474
00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:19,349
Love your food, love your music.
475
00:19:19,351 --> 00:19:21,118
Anyway, we're gonna
give you a little help.
476
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,586
Oh, God, you're doing amazing!
477
00:19:22,588 --> 00:19:25,355
You've actually made this place better!"
478
00:19:25,357 --> 00:19:27,424
Oh, wait, that's not a crazy idea.
479
00:19:27,426 --> 00:19:30,794
That was literally us
when our family fled Cuba!
480
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:32,896
How quickly we forget!
481
00:19:32,898 --> 00:19:36,566
America is great because we
don't just fight for ourselves.
482
00:19:36,568 --> 00:19:39,436
We fight for people we will never meet.
483
00:19:39,438 --> 00:19:41,538
Just like when our parents came here.
484
00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:45,942
Strangers organized their trips,
arranged for them to be safe.
485
00:19:45,944 --> 00:19:47,611
Strangers.
486
00:19:47,613 --> 00:19:51,047
We can't benefit from
the kindness of strangers
487
00:19:51,049 --> 00:19:53,250
and then turn our backs on the ones
488
00:19:53,252 --> 00:19:55,352
who need us to stand up for them.
489
00:19:55,354 --> 00:19:57,587
Because that's what kept us safe.
490
00:19:57,589 --> 00:20:01,660
And that's what's beautiful
about this country.
491
00:20:03,729 --> 00:20:05,962
That's what's in my heart.
492
00:20:05,964 --> 00:20:08,632
Oh, Mom.
493
00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:10,434
You are ready.
494
00:20:10,436 --> 00:20:13,537
- iEso, Mami!
- Thanks.
495
00:20:13,539 --> 00:20:16,373
I still wish there was a way we
didn't have to talk about this.
496
00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:18,241
But now I know I can.
497
00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:19,509
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
498
00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:22,245
Who is that? Are we expecting someone?
499
00:20:22,247 --> 00:20:24,247
Oh, that's right.
500
00:20:24,249 --> 00:20:26,618
I have had a little rum.
501
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,454
Okay, we can do this.
502
00:20:30,456 --> 00:20:33,657
I know they're nuts, but
they're family, and we love them.
503
00:20:33,659 --> 00:20:35,691
Okay, we can do this.
504
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,260
I know they're crazy liberals,
505
00:20:37,262 --> 00:20:40,931
but they are family, and we love them.
506
00:20:40,933 --> 00:20:43,400
- Hi!
- Nice to see you, guys!
507
00:20:43,402 --> 00:20:44,935
iHola!
508
00:20:44,937 --> 00:20:46,371
[ALL GREETING EACH OTHER]
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