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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,051
[bell rings]
VICTOR: Simon, I have big news.
2
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:07,126
Mia and I are officially
in a relationship.
3
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,680
♪ "I Rly Rly Like U" by Baby Bulldog ♪
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,677
‐ ♪ Butterflies in my chest ♪
5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,970
[phone bloops, then buzzes]
6
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,272
[laughs]
7
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,308
♪ Been a while since I had a guest ♪
8
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,732
♪ Now you're feelin' on me,
feelin' feelin' on me ♪
9
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,651
[laughing]
10
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,860
VICTOR: She's basically my favorite person
to hang out with.
11
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,451
And my family loves her, too.
12
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,737
[all laughing]
13
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:37,582
And I know what you're gonna ask me,
so I'll save you the trouble.
14
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,749
The physical stuff is actually awesome.
15
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,379
Mia's lips are mad soft,
16
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,377
and she wears this lip gloss
that tastes like blue raspberry,
17
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,630
which is my favorite flavor of Gatorade.
18
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,972
‐ ♪ I really really like you ♪
19
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,299
‐ Not here.
20
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,557
There's too many people.
Don't want to rub it in their faces.
21
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,932
[indistinct chatter]
22
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:04,151
Yeah, Simon. Everything's great.
I don't know what I was so scared of.
23
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,475
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
24
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,953
♪ Yeah
Waiting for the time ♪
25
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,367
♪ Waiting for the place ♪
26
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,695
♪ And I, I, I ♪
27
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,701
♪ I, I need ♪
28
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,253
♪ Somebody to tell me
it'll be all right ♪
29
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,167
♪ Somebody to tell me
it'll be just fine ♪
30
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:26,626
♪ If someone has been there before,
say it right now ♪
31
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,588
♪ 'Cause I just need to hear it ♪
32
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,548
♪
33
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,683
MS. THOMAS:
The vagina.
34
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,897
Some of you have them.
35
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,806
Some of you have seen them,
36
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,114
and some of you have only heard stories.
37
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,188
‐ You know, I have that same poster
in my bedroom.
38
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:51,654
[class laughing softly]
39
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:55,743
‐ Don't test me today, Andrew. Okay?
I'm intermittent fasting.
40
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:59,041
Uh, everybody, take a worksheet.
Fill out all the parts.
41
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:03,536
And, uh, don't ask me how to spell
Fallopian tube, because I don't know.
42
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,754
‐ I guess you and Victor are probably
doing a lot of sex ed these days, right?
43
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,424
‐ Could you grow up, Andrew?
44
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:12,665
‐ Sorry.
45
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,894
Just be over here. Working on my vagina.
46
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,558
LAKE: What was that?
47
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,016
‐ What do you mean?
48
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,556
Okay, fine.
49
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:29,441
Uh, it's just that Victor
likes to take things slow.
50
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:33,361
‐ Hmm.
‐ Like, really, really slow.
51
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,662
‐ Wait, how far have you guys gone?
‐ We've kissed.
52
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,816
‐ With tongue?
‐ Of course.
53
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:42,414
Okay. Our tongues have definitely...
grazed.
54
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,500
‐ Hmm. Is he a virgin?
55
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,379
‐ I don't know. Probably.
56
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,456
‐ But you're ready.
‐ I think so.
57
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:53,471
I definitely want to take things
to the next level. Or any level.
58
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:56,175
We've kind of been stuck on the ground.
59
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,846
God, and I really like him.
‐ Mm.
60
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,596
Two virgins about to
make passionate love.
61
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,058
It's like a Shakespeare movie.
62
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,305
Okay, so the first thing
you need to do is just
63
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,061
send him a sexy message or two.
64
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,692
I'm just saying, sometimes you have to
65
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,611
show a guy that you're open
to their advances.
66
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,570
[with French accent]
Par example...
67
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,195
‐ You posted that about yourself?
68
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,159
‐ Yeah, but under my pseudonym:
"Jackie St. Boon."
69
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,290
‐ Okay, isn't that a little desperate?
70
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,748
‐ I'm just throwing some chum in the water
and waiting for the sharks to come.
71
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,340
Sorry, I just saw Jaws.
72
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,745
It's not as good at 47 Meters Down,
but it's solid.
73
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,217
‐ "Was I lovable once? Really?
74
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,469
"Was I ever lovable?
75
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,351
"I'm asking if you found me...
76
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,728
"lovable at one stage?
[phone vibrates]
77
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,936
"Well, I admit it is a teaser and you've
done more than your bit already
78
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,267
for the time being, so just..."
‐ What on Earth?
79
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,272
‐ I have no idea.
80
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,244
I think her husband was named Willy
or something and trapped her in a box.
81
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,445
‐ No, not the monologue. Mia.
82
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,946
WENDY:
"Just to know that you are there..."
83
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,657
‐ "I miss your muscular legs."
84
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,078
[laughing]
Holy cow, she wants you bad.
85
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,447
TEACHER:
Shh!
86
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,084
[monologue continues]
87
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,751
‐ What should I write back?
88
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,210
‐ I don't know.
Nobody's ever missed my legs before.
89
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,970
[phone buzzing]
90
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,966
‐ He thumbsed‐up my text.
91
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,599
‐ Wait. That's what you wrote?
92
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,716
Let Mama Lake take it from here.
93
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,523
‐ Lake, come on.
‐ Do not rush me. I am an artist.
94
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,018
[Mia sighs heavily]
95
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,273
[tapping on phone]
96
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,941
[exhales]
97
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,690
[phone bloops]
There. Done. You're welcome.
98
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,275
‐ Lake!
99
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,949
[phone vibrates]
WENDY: "But something tells me, do not..."
100
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,329
‐ Whoa!
101
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:46,535
Looks like somebody's gonna be
dancing the midnight macarena.
102
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:50,246
‐ I don't think so.
I think she just invited me to her house
103
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,669
with a whole bunch of emojis?
104
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,627
‐ Either she's gonna be making you
eggplant Parmesan,
105
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,338
or you're getting lucky this Friday.
106
00:04:57,089 --> 00:05:00,219
WENDY:
"And do not overdo the bag..."
107
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,926
♪ soft music playing ♪
108
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,890
‐ Latte art.
109
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,524
Remind you of anyone?
110
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,030
‐ Steve Harvey?
111
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,606
‐ It's Derek.
112
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,659
‐ Oh! Yeah, I see it now.
113
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,868
‐ Friday is our one year anniversary.
114
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,750
We're supposed to go see
his friend's band downtown, but...
115
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,877
I want to do something romantic for him.
116
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:34,745
‐ Where'd you go for your first date?
117
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:38,301
‐ We got spaghetti and meatballs
at this corny Italian place.
118
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,585
The food was good,
119
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,970
but it ended up getting shut down
by the health department.
120
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:46,928
God, I love meatballs.
So ugly. So delicious.
121
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,180
[laughs]
122
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,519
‐ Okay.
123
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:54,228
Maybe, I mean, this is a little cheesy,
124
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:58,399
but you could recreate your first date.
125
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,990
You could have your own
Italian restaurant,
126
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:02,105
but just you and Derek.
127
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,912
‐ I could do it here after we close.
128
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:07,486
Light some candles,
put on some Italian accordion music.
129
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:09,617
Yeah.
130
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,080
Wow, Victor. Who knew you were
such a romantic?
131
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,420
Mia is a lucky lady.
132
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,127
‐ Yeah. She's the luckiest.
133
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,795
‐ Okay, why'd you just do your
uncomfortable scrunch face
134
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,088
when you said that?
135
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:25,257
‐ Okay, I'm hanging out
with Mia on Friday.
136
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,510
‐ You don't sound excited.
137
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,352
‐ I think Mia wants to take things
to the next level,
138
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,058
and I'm... you know.
139
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,349
‐ Oh.
140
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,773
You're a virgin.
141
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,567
That's fine. You've just gotta relax.
142
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,435
If I can have sex with girls,
anybody can.
143
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,743
‐ Wait, you‐‐ But you're...
144
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:45,913
‐ Gay?
145
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,316
I know.
146
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,494
This was back when I was
figuring things out.
147
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:52,453
Turns out human sexuality
is less of a straight line,
148
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:55,254
and more of a Cirque du Soleil show.
149
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,169
Long, confusing,
150
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,247
and full of sexy clowns.
151
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:00,838
‐ Yep.
152
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,716
[Mia sighs]
153
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,677
‐ Ooh, girl, you are serving me up
some sexy Professor McGonagall realness,
154
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,140
and I am here for it.
155
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:14,057
‐ You mean I look like Maggie Smith?
156
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,809
[groans] Changing.
157
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:19,861
‐ What? No! It's perfect!
You look all hot and witchy.
158
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,281
‐ Hmm. Why does my room
smell like sunscreen?
159
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,948
‐ Uh, that is a scented candle.
160
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,947
Feuille de Lavande by Diptyque.
161
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,489
Plus, I blasted your throw cushions
with body spray just for good measure.
162
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,504
‐ Hmm.
163
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,879
‐ You know, it's totally okay
to be nervous.
164
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:40,665
I mean, tonight's your first time.
That's a really big deal.
165
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,764
I mean, it is your first time, right?
166
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:50,048
[scoffs] Oh, my God.
I am your best friend.
167
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,063
Why didn't you tell me?
You tell me everything.
168
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,175
‐ Because it was a one‐time thing,
169
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:56,483
and it was too soon,
170
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,896
and awkward, and a total mistake.
171
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:02,977
Hmm. Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
172
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,863
‐ It's fine. I get it.
173
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,571
But who was it?
174
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:12,119
‐ Just some random other counselor
at camp.
175
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:16,957
‐ Mm. Wow. Well, the most exciting thing
that happened to me at summer camp
176
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,955
was when I accidentally bumped
a beehive with my selfie stick.
177
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:23,918
But then they evacuated us
to the Marriott. Mm, thank you, bees.
178
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:25,461
[laughs]
179
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,804
♪
180
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,102
[phone beeps]
181
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:44,982
[door slams]
182
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:50,107
‐ Well, don't you look like a man
whose life's about to be forever changed
183
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,953
by the touch of a good woman.
184
00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,739
‐ Guess so. [chuckles]
185
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,082
What's that?
186
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:56,787
‐ You've never played "Settlers of Catan"?
187
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:59,747
Oh, it's awesome. Me and my mom
throw down every Friday night.
188
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,458
‐ Sounds like fun.
‐ It is.
189
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,378
‐ And not filled with a
crippling pressure to perform.
190
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,708
‐ Hey. Good luck tonight, buddy.
191
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,223
You're gonna do great.
‐ Thanks.
192
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,221
Hey, Felix. Uh, wait up.
193
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:21,397
‐ [sighs] Okay, relax. You look amazing.
194
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,105
And if Victor doesn't hook up with you,
195
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,895
I will.
[doorbell rings]
196
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,028
‐ Yeah, I really wish you'd
stop offering that. [chuckles]
197
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,356
[groans]
198
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,821
[door opens]
199
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:33,871
[door closes]
200
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,578
‐ Twist. And not the cool
M. Night Shyamalan kind.
201
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,922
[imitates bugle call]
202
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,995
FELIX:
Who's ready to take a journey
203
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:47,001
to the island of Catan?
204
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,891
DEREK: Okay, but just,
whatever is it, make it quick,
205
00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:58,139
'cause I don't want
to be late to the show.
206
00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,230
‐ Shh. Just stop talking, okay?
207
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,685
‐ Okay.
‐ All right. Keep your eyes closed.
208
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,522
‐ Okay.
209
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:08,572
Giving me major
serial killer vibes right now.
210
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,448
‐ Okay. You can open.
211
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,735
Welcome to "Trattoria di Benji."
212
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,581
♪ soft accordion music playing ♪
213
00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:19,827
‐ Whoa.
214
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,579
‐ And if you want to get a lot of points,
215
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,712
you need to make sure to
upgrade your settlements,
216
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,249
your cities, and your roads.
217
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,553
All right. So, next...
218
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:31,667
‐ Hey.
219
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,883
FELIX: This is something
a little unorthodox...
220
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,553
‐ I'm sorry about this.
221
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,221
I tried to shake him,
but he didn't get the hint.
222
00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,805
You look nice.
223
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,386
FELIX: So each type of terrain
produces a different resource.
224
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,353
So forests make lumber,
225
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:50,034
um, fields make grain,
and of course, mountains, they make...
226
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,109
...ore.
227
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,451
If I...
228
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,236
‐ Okay, this is the most bored
I have ever been.
229
00:10:57,241 --> 00:11:00,491
And I'm including that time you tricked me
into listening to a podcast.
230
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,164
‐ That would make it
my tenth victory point,
231
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,543
and crown me King of Catan.
232
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,798
[gulping]
233
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,335
‐ Ah. All right.
[claps, rubs hands]
234
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,708
Who's ready to start playing?
235
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,260
‐ Wait, we haven't started?
236
00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:18,639
What have we been doing
for the last 45 minutes?
237
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,811
‐ A tutorial.
238
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,097
[screams]
239
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,227
‐ Okay. Uh, you guys start without me.
240
00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,438
‐ I'll come with.
241
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,817
♪
242
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:35,569
‐ Operation No Hanky‐Panky
seems to be going pretty well,
243
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,071
don't you say?
‐ Yeah.
244
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,322
Hey, look, Felix,
I appreciate you doing this,
245
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,244
but Mia's definitely pissed.
246
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,124
‐ So? Let her be pissed.
247
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:46,581
All right? If you're not ready,
you're not ready.
248
00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,332
Your body, your choice.
249
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,841
‐ Yeah, I, I think I'm gonna go
and check on Mia.
250
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:55,298
‐ All right. But don't take too long.
251
00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:58,339
Don't know if I can trust myself
around all these wheat cards.
252
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,393
‐ Okay.
253
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,809
♪ Italian music playing ♪
254
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,766
‐ So, do you like it?
255
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,813
Spaghetti and meatballs,
like we had on our first date. Remember?
256
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,322
‐ Mm. Mm‐hmm. It's great.
257
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:13,815
But shouldn't we head to the show soon?
258
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,317
The opener are these two blind sisters
259
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:20,070
who do bluegrass covers of TLC songs.
I mean, it's supposed to be awesome.
260
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,783
‐ Oh, yeah?
‐ Yeah.
261
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:25,953
‐ Sounds really cool, but I thought maybe
we could skip the show tonight.
262
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,417
You know, since it's our first anniversary
and everything.
263
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,836
‐ [laughs] Anniversary?
264
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,295
What, are we straight people now?
265
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,510
Oh. Sorry.
266
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,595
I didn't mean, like...
267
00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,774
I just don't really know if
I believe in all that stuff.
268
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,732
‐ What stuff? Anniversaries?
269
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:50,686
‐ Stuff that society tells us to want
just 'cause straight people do.
270
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,975
Like, one of the best things
about being gay is that
271
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,282
we don't have to conform to that
hetero‐normative,
272
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,816
rom‐com bullshit that is dreamt up
by corporations
273
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,860
to help sell greeting cards to morons.
274
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,242
[exhales]
275
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,541
‐ Well...
276
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,333
...guess I'm one of those morons.
277
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,542
‐ Hey.
278
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,166
I didn't mean...
279
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:19,091
♪ music continues playing ♪
280
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,934
I'm sorry.
‐ I‐‐
281
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:28,599
‐ I'm a dick, and these meatballs
are really great.
282
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,770
‐ Yeah?
‐ Yeah.
283
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,520
[phone chimes]
284
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,654
Sorry.
285
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:40,111
Hey, do you think it would be cool
if we caught the end of the show?
286
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,743
‐ You know what? Yeah, you go ahead.
I'll meet you there.
287
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,411
I gotta clean up first.
288
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,834
‐ Okay.
289
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,883
Hey. [kisses] You're the best.
290
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,379
‐ Have a good time.
‐ Thank you.
291
00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:02,886
Hey, Ty, I'm on my way.
[door opens]
292
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,385
[door closes]
293
00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:07,564
♪ music continues playing ♪
294
00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:12,306
‐ Hey. Um... where's Mia?
295
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,981
‐ In her bedroom. Being furious.
296
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:20,440
She planned this whole special night
for the two of you.
297
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,364
And then you brought your weird friend
and screwed it all up.
298
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,577
I just don't get it. Do you not like her?
299
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:29,075
Is there someone else? Are you gay?
What is it?
300
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:32,461
‐ I do like her.
301
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:35,036
‐ 'Kay. Well then, start acting like it.
302
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,422
Because this crap that
you're pulling here tonight,
303
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,170
it's just cruel.
304
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:43,262
♪
305
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:53,099
‐ Oh, hey. I was about to
come back downstairs‐‐
306
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:57,484
♪
307
00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:10,453
[Lake sighs]
‐ Wanna watch Planet Earth with me?
308
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:13,122
‐ Nope. I already ordered my Lyft.
309
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:16,211
Elang should be here in nine minutes.
310
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,134
You should probably go, too.
311
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,047
I don't think they'll be down
for quite some time.
312
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,552
What the hell?
313
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:28,351
‐ What? What happened? Is Elang okay?
‐ No. Look.
314
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:32,805
‐ You, uh, you look amazing.
315
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:35,188
‐ No, not the photo, idiot. The comments.
316
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,895
They called me a six. A six!
317
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,606
[scoffs] I am at least a low nine.
318
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,318
Well, you're a boy.
319
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:47,199
Tell me the truth.
320
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:49,367
Mm. What's my number?
321
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:54,709
‐ N‐‐ No. No way. I, I can't do that.
322
00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:55,865
I‐‐
323
00:15:55,873 --> 00:15:58,463
‐ Okay, stop with the chivalry
and just give me a number,
324
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,548
and do not tell me I'm a 10,
because I totally won't believe you.
325
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:05,167
‐ I...
326
00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:09,554
I think you deserve a guy who...
327
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:13,063
who doesn't reduce you to a number.
328
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:14,386
[sighs]
329
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,935
‐ Somebody like, um...
330
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:19,396
Like him.
331
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:22,066
NARRATOR:
Approximately 1/16th the size...
332
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,775
‐ I deserve to date a nub?
333
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:27,396
‐ Okay, so he's not Brad Pitt.
334
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,244
And technically he doesn't have any eyes.
335
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:32,329
But angler fish are total romantics.
336
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:35,446
That fish only cares about one thing
in the entire world.
337
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,580
Her.
338
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,999
He spends most of his life
sniffing around the ocean
339
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:46,053
looking for his mate,
and when he finally finds her,
340
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,338
you know what he does?
341
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,550
‐ Tells her a long, boring story?
342
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,184
‐ He bites her,
343
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:56,060
and releases this enzyme in his saliva
344
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:59,348
that fuses them together like superglue.
345
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,733
Then he dies, and becomes
a part of her body,
346
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:06,320
and she swims away,
never thinking about him again, but...
347
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:07,528
he doesn't mind.
348
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,695
Because he got what he always wanted.
349
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,789
To be with her. Forever.
350
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,463
That's what you deserve, Lake.
351
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,876
A guy who would sacrifice everything,
352
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:26,455
because he knows that the only thing
that matters in this entire world...
353
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,378
...is you.
354
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:36,893
‐ You are so weird.
355
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:37,890
[Felix exhales]
356
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,688
‐ Um, do you wanna, um, sit down?
357
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:47,110
This hard wall is starting
to hurt my head. [chuckles]
358
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,696
‐ Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Uh...
359
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,624
I'm sorry. I just, I just need a minute.
360
00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:02,461
[door shuts]
‐ Okay.
361
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:06,957
[exhales]
362
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:14,547
[sniffs]
363
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,680
[sighs heavily]
364
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,596
‐ Hey. Sorry, I was just‐‐
365
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:22,771
‐ Okay, what's going on with you?
366
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:27,189
Is it me? Am I not attractive to you,
or whatever?
367
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,113
‐ No, no. Mia...
368
00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:36,576
Look, you're beautiful.
369
00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:41,873
You're like, one of the prettiest girls
I've ever seen.
370
00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:44,042
‐ Then what is it?
371
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:45,291
What's wrong?
372
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,789
‐ Truth is...
373
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,838
I'm...
374
00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:56,220
...not ready.
375
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:03,983
I don't know. Maybe out here,
sex isn't, like, a big deal, but...
376
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,522
...back where I'm from,
377
00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:10,483
we're more old‐fashioned.
378
00:19:13,612 --> 00:19:15,742
‐ Victor, it's fine.
379
00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:20,370
Why didn't you just tell me?
380
00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:26,828
‐ I didn't want you to think
I was a loser.
381
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,297
‐ I would never think you're a loser.
382
00:19:33,382 --> 00:19:37,342
We can totally go slow.
383
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,017
‐ It's getting pretty late.
I should probably go.
384
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:50,982
‐ Okay.
385
00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:57,034
Uh, Victor?
386
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,330
There's nothing else, right?
387
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:03,539
‐ No.
388
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,795
VICTOR:
Dear Simon,
389
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:21,932
I really do like Mia,
390
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:26,020
but what if that isn't enough?
391
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:29,152
[TV playing indistinctly]
392
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,146
‐ [whispers]
Okay.
393
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,158
‐ How'd you get so good at this?
‐ YouTube.
394
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:41,277
‐ Oh.
395
00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:45,829
No. No hickeys.
396
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:48,669
No one can know about this.
This has to stay our little secret.
397
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:52,285
‐ Well, three can keep a secret
if two of them are dead.
398
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,464
‐ What?
399
00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:56,382
‐ Sorry. Benjamin Franklin quote.
I, I won't tell anyone.
400
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:57,801
‐ Yeah. No more talking.
‐ Okay.
401
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,299
‐ Okay.
‐ Uh‐huh.
402
00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:02,184
[phone dings]
403
00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:07,644
SIMON: Hey, Victor.
I know you really like Mia,
404
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:10,353
and you've been trying to
figure out if you're attracted to her.
405
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:14,071
It sounds like tonight,
you realized that you're not,
406
00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:15,816
and that's okay.
407
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:21,158
But maybe it's time for you to really
figure out what you want.
408
00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:23,907
Before someone gets hurt.
409
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:29,752
♪
410
00:21:34,670 --> 00:21:36,000
[door opens]
411
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,473
‐ What are you doing here?
412
00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:43,894
‐ I could ask you the same thing.
413
00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,728
How did "Trattoria di Benji" go?
414
00:21:49,810 --> 00:21:51,020
‐ Fine.
415
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:55,192
So, how was your big date?
416
00:21:57,693 --> 00:21:59,153
‐ Not much to tell.
417
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,445
Working on your latte art?
‐ Yep.
418
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,659
I think I might actually be
getting better.
419
00:22:08,662 --> 00:22:10,712
‐ Really?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
420
00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:12,456
‐ You wanna try?
421
00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:15,917
‐ Yeah.
‐ The trick is to pour quickly.
422
00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:17,880
What do you want to make?
423
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:20,674
‐ How about...
424
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,760
...a meatball?
425
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,060
So ugly, but so delicious.
[both laugh softly]
426
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,015
Okay.
427
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,938
‐ All right. Start there,
and then pour it in the center.
428
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:37,145
That's it. There you go.
429
00:22:37,566 --> 00:22:40,356
♪ "Nostalgic" by Arizona ♪
430
00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:44,445
Yep. You got it.
That looks like a meatball to me.
431
00:22:45,032 --> 00:22:47,332
[indistinct chatter]
432
00:22:48,911 --> 00:22:51,541
‐ ♪ Strangely you and I ♪
433
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,748
♪ Cross the finish line ♪
434
00:22:53,749 --> 00:22:57,379
♪ But big hearts move slow,
get left behind ♪
435
00:22:57,377 --> 00:23:01,127
♪ Lying next to someone else, oh ♪
436
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:06,221
♪ But sometimes I still remember
what you said and how it felt ♪
437
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:09,640
♪ Okay fine maybe I'm just
a little nostalgic ♪
438
00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:14,143
♪ 'Cause the memories are
flooding my mind, baby I can't stop it ♪
439
00:23:15,896 --> 00:23:18,856
♪ I know I said I wouldn't call
but I'm breaking my promise ♪
440
00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:23,744
♪ 'Cause the memories are
flooding my mind, baby I can't stop it ♪
441
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,624
♪ Oh I can't stop it ♪
442
00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:29,075
♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪
443
00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:34,250
♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪
444
00:23:34,248 --> 00:23:36,038
♪ Oh I can't stop it ♪
445
00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:39,841
♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪
446
00:23:39,837 --> 00:23:43,127
♪ Okay, fine, maybe
I'm just a little nostalgic ♪
447
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:45,221
♪ Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh ♪
448
00:23:45,217 --> 00:23:47,717
♪ Cause the memories are flooding my mind
and I can't stop it ♪
449
00:23:49,555 --> 00:23:52,715
♪ Oh oh, oh oh, I know
I said I wouldn't call
but I broke my promise ♪
450
00:23:53,684 --> 00:23:55,694
♪ I can't stop ♪
451
00:23:55,686 --> 00:23:57,266
♪ Oh I can't... ♪
33466
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