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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,731 Dear Simon, things have been pretty tense at home 2 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,774 since we learned the real reason we left Texas. 3 00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,319 No way. What are you freaking out about this time? 4 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,279 Those aren't shorts. They're denim underpants. 5 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,448 People who have affairs shouldn't be throwing stones. 6 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:16,242 You look like Madonna in the "Like a Prayer" video. 7 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:19,954 Wow. That would really hurt my feelings if I actually understood your references. 8 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,998 Luckily, my family has me. 9 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,792 For as long as I can remember, I've been my family's fixer. 10 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,920 There's no problem I can't smooth over 11 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:29,506 with a well‐timed joke, a charming anecdote, 12 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,008 or, when all else fails... carbs. 13 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,951 Who wants pancakes? 14 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,221 Oh. I could go for pancakes. 15 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,222 Banana for me. 16 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,641 Oh, so Victor's allowed to use the stove? 17 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:43,061 - Shh. Eat your pancakes. - These smell so good, mijo. Thank you. 18 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,187 You're welcome. 19 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,731 Have you decided what you want to do for your birthday this Saturday? 20 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,067 I thought we could throw you a party, 21 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,693 invite your friends over... 22 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:54,614 That's okay. It's such short notice. I'm sure everyone has plans, you know? 23 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,950 Oh. Okay. 24 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,953 I just thought we could all use a celebration around here. 25 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,830 Yeah, all right. See you soon, Mami. Bye. 26 00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,998 See you soon? Why are you gonna see her soon? 27 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:06,501 Oh, my parents wanna visit for Victor's birthday this weekend. 28 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:09,963 Yes! Finally! Abuelita in the house! 29 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,090 Seriously, Armando? 30 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,551 Pilar is being horrible to me, and now on top of that, 31 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,344 - I'm gonna have your mom here hating me? - Yes! 32 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,637 I can't even‐‐ What's the problem? 33 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,222 - You know what the problem is! - Let's throw the party. 34 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,183 - Really? - Yeah, yeah. It'll be fun. I mean, 35 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,643 you guys can meet my friends, 36 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:27,105 and Abuela Nati and Tito can celebrate with us. 37 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:30,233 Our first party in our new home. Hmm? 38 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,800 I'm so excited. 39 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,031 Okay! Party time! 40 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:40,243 Maybe something fun and distracting was exactly 41 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,787 what we needed to get our family groove back. 42 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,831 That is what we're gonna do. I'm just excited about having a party 43 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:47,000 and meeting your friends. Are they nice? I bet you they are. 44 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,192 Okay, piñatas. 45 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,369 Yeah, of course. Of course we'll be there, right? 46 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,497 Uh, depends. Who else will be there? 47 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:28,249 An Insta‐models? Influencers? Kardashians? 48 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,461 No. Just you guys, my family, and my grandparents. 49 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,341 Oh. Oh, you're serious. 50 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,426 Victor's family is a delight. 51 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:41,012 I like to think of myself as the third Salazar kid. 52 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,330 Adrian's the third Salazar kid. 53 00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,308 Adrian. 54 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,269 Um, this means I'm gonna meet your parents? 55 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,771 Yeah. Is that cool? 56 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,964 Yeah. That's awesome. 57 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,653 Okay, can you guys stop gently smiling at each other? 58 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,446 We have some serious business to discuss. 59 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:01,431 Victor's party is going to blow without some more bodies. 60 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,619 Uh, hey, Benji. Hey. 61 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:07,121 Victor is having a birthday on Saturday, 62 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:10,500 and his ratio of hot people to old people is totally tragic. 63 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,085 Wanna come? 64 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,754 I mean, only if you want to. There's, there's no pressure. 65 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,423 Sure, I'm in. I'll bring Derek. 66 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,885 - I mean, if that's cool. - Yeah. I love Derek. 67 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,619 Great. We'll be there. 68 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,224 Hey, guys, my break's over. 69 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,583 Okay. Bye. 70 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,730 Dear Simon... Hey. 71 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:37,009 There's going to be an actual out‐and‐proud gay couple at my house. 72 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,406 Here's hoping my grandfather's gotten more 73 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:44,725 open‐minded, since we left Texas. 74 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,370 Why are you playing with a fairy wand? 75 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,581 It's my Elsa wand, from Frozen. 76 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:53,960 It turns things into ice. Be ice, couch! 77 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,172 - You're ice. You're ice... - Do you let him play with girls' toys? 78 00:03:57,196 --> 00:04:00,383 What? Oh, no. Uh, that's actually a, a hand‐me‐down from Pilar. 79 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,635 He usually uses it to, um, to sword fight. 80 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,721 Yeah, he's a very macho boy. 81 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,223 Hi! 82 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,393 - Tickle my back and tell me I'm guapo. - Okay. 83 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:14,397 Every day I wish your mother hadn't moved you across the country 84 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,607 for no reason at all. 85 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:18,985 Actually, there is a really good reason why we moved from Texas. 86 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,362 Which is that Papi got a great new job, 87 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,989 and hooked us up with this sick apartment. 88 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:26,201 Yes, it does look a little sick. 89 00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:28,119 Hola, Natalia. Hola. 90 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,537 - Tito, ¿cómo estás? - Hola, mija. 91 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,080 Oyeme, Victor. 92 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,750 What would you like me to make you for your birthday? 93 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,711 Buñuelos, or Pasteles de Gloria? 94 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:41,508 Actually, I'm gonna be making a tres leches cake, just like yours. 95 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:44,302 Oh. We'll see about that. 96 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:46,721 I thought you were joking on the phone. 97 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,389 Is she really baking? 98 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,351 Abuela, did Papi tell you? 99 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,102 My new friends are coming to the party. 100 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,854 Oh! Oh, yeah. That's right. 101 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,678 We're all gonna get to meet the mystery girl that Victor's been dating. 102 00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,401 Oh, so Victor finally has a novia, huh? 103 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,195 Si. 104 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:06,574 At least one of your boys is gonna give me some great‐grandchildren. 105 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:10,078 Ice power! Ice! Ice! Ice! 106 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,062 Be ice, couch! 107 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,375 It's too much eyeliner. 108 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,085 Okay, I need makeup that says, 109 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,920 "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Salazar. 110 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,840 I'm Mia, a perfectly respectable girl for your son to date." 111 00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:23,258 This totally says that, 112 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,677 while also hinting that you have a wild side. 113 00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,221 If they really love their son, they'll want that for him. 114 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,807 Why are you so stressed about this? 115 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,225 I guess... 116 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,352 Victor's family is like, his whole world, 117 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:37,105 and he's becoming a big part of my world, 118 00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:39,399 so I just need them to like me. 119 00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:42,485 My God, you're like, next level into him, aren't you? 120 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,654 No, I'm‐Maybe. I don't know. Stop. 121 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,198 I wish I had a super sweet, super cute boy 122 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,950 who wanted to parade me around. 123 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,035 Oh, are you still bummed it didn't work out with Andrew? 124 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,164 Oh, no. No, I'm over that. 125 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:58,084 Andrew's just as blah as all the other guys at Creekwood. 126 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,837 I want someone exciting. And spontaneous. 127 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:04,257 The kind of guy who isn't afraid to do something crazy and unexpected, 128 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,492 - like rob a bank. - So, a criminal. 129 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,721 It's not a crime if you don't get caught. 130 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:11,955 Mm, that's not at all how it works. 131 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,601 Do you really think Victor's parents will like me? 132 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,020 They will love you. You're a parents' wet dream. 133 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,505 And mostly because I don't say things like that. 134 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,659 Oh! 135 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,187 I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it. 136 00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,439 Sports... 137 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,585 - Happy birthday! - Hey, guys. 138 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,962 Thanks for coming. You look really nice. 139 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:43,923 Right? 140 00:06:43,947 --> 00:06:46,633 And the craziest part is she didn't even think about the way she looked. 141 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,009 - Yeah. - No, it didn't cross her mind. 142 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,260 Shut up. 143 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,929 The other guys‐Oh, hey. 144 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,472 This is Lake and Mia. 145 00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:54,474 Oh. Nice to meet you both. 146 00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,351 Which one are you dating? 147 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,645 Sorry. Mia. 148 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:01,231 - Oh. Ay, otra vez, otra vez. - No! 149 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,525 Come on. Wait, they were totally off‐sides. 150 00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:06,069 - Yes, thank you! - Me encanta esta niña. 151 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,154 Yeah, I don't know how you tricked her into going out with you, 152 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,222 but, uh, do not screw it up. 153 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,450 I'll try not to, Papi. 154 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,369 Oh, uh, should I meet your mom? 155 00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:16,562 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be great. 156 00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:21,942 - Great mustache, by the way. - Thank you. 157 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,423 Well, Simon, looks like the fixer's done it again. 158 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:31,177 I hadn't seen my dad smile in days. 159 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,137 Until he met Mia. 160 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,639 You have got to be kidding me. 161 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:35,890 You are not wearing that to this party. 162 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,476 What? This is my house. I can wear what I want in my house. 163 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,019 No, you can't. 164 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,939 Because I can't have your abuela giving me another lecture 165 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,816 on how I let you listen to devil music. 166 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,443 Now please, go to your room and change, 167 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,071 before she finishes putting on her makeup and sees you. 168 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,657 Fine. I'll go to my room, but I'm not coming to this stupid party 169 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,659 just so we can all pretend we're still a happy family. 170 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,536 Pilar! 171 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,709 Uh, Mom, this is... this is Mia. 172 00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:06,004 - Hi. - Hello. I'm sorry you had to see that. 173 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,463 No, it's fine. 174 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:11,551 My mom and I had a pretty terrible relationship sometimes, too. 175 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:14,804 We don't have a terrible relationship. We just had a fight. 176 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,098 No, of course. I, um, I 177 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,475 I meant, um, I don't know. 178 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,219 I don't know what I meant. 179 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:27,025 Wow. You really do not look like you could have a 16‐year‐old son, 180 00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,151 Mrs. Salazar. 181 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,611 You speak Spanish. 182 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:33,847 A little. Uh, my dad used to teach summer sessions in Barcelona. 183 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,892 Mia has traveled all over. 184 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:44,525 Mia, may I have a moment alone with my son, please? 185 00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,966 - She's nice, right? - Yeah. Yeah, she seems great, 186 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,801 but we have a major emergency on our hands. 187 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,470 I need to get another tres leches cake. 188 00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,305 What? Why? 189 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,516 I forgot to get the third leche, 190 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,060 so I doubled up on the second leche, thinking you wouldn't be able to tell, 191 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,813 but you can tell, Victor. You can totally tell! 192 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,356 And if I don't fix this, 193 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,359 I am gonna be hearing about how I tanked tres leches cake 194 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,860 from your abuela until she is dead. 195 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,654 Which might be today, because I'm gonna murder her 196 00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,239 for giving me so much crap about the cake. 197 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,056 It's fine. It's fine. 198 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:19,244 Listen, scrap that cake. I'll get a new one, 199 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:22,163 and abuela will never have to know. Okay? Come here. 200 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,958 Okay. Ay, mi vida. 201 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,544 You're always saving the day. 202 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,278 Okay. Ay. 203 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,298 Lake, would you be able to do me a huge favor 204 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,926 and run to the Mexican bakery and pick up a tres leches cake? 205 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,262 Oh‐‐ I'll come with you. 206 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:40,139 Uh, Victor's grandfather said I'm no longer allowed to follow him around 207 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,642 with Google translate, so... 208 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,270 Fine, we'll go. Just don't be weird. 209 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:48,213 Oh. I wouldn't dream of it, m'lady. 210 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,132 And you failed. 211 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,515 'Course I have to leave when the one sexy person shows up. 212 00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:01,268 No offense, Victor! 213 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:03,955 Hey, Benji. 214 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:06,106 You made it. Hey. 215 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,210 A little something for the birthday boy. 216 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,819 You didn't have to get me a gift. 217 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,048 I had to park in front of a hydrant. 218 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,009 So nobody set anything on fire. 219 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,886 Hey, man. Thanks for coming. 220 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:20,054 Yeah. Anything this guy wants. 221 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,371 Victor. 222 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,349 Who are your friends? 223 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:26,227 Uh, oh, Tito, this is Benji, my coworker, 224 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,922 and Derek, his, uh, band mate. 225 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,966 - Ah, ¿como los Bee Gees? - Si. 226 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,282 Seriously? "His band mate?" 227 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,992 Well, you guys are in a band together. 228 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,744 Yeah, well, I prefer the term "boyfriend." 229 00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,561 No, no, of course. It's just‐‐. 230 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:49,751 My family's going through a hard time right now. 231 00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,586 I just really need today to go well, 232 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:52,921 and if my grandfather makes a scene, 233 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,489 it'll lead to a fight between my parents, and I just. 234 00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:59,701 I'm just not sure how much more fighting we can take. 235 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,456 Whatever. Just... forget about it. 236 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,367 Hola. We need your biggest tres leches cake. 237 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:26,871 Si. Es una cake emergencia. 238 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:30,416 Look, as much as it pains me not to help out two flustered kids 239 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,002 with their cake... "emergencia," 240 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,363 this is the last one I got, and I just sold it to that guy. 241 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,301 Okay. Let me handle this. 242 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:42,971 Hello, sir. 243 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:46,391 Uh, you seemed to have gotten the last tres leches cake, 244 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:48,834 and I was hoping to buy it from you. 245 00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:53,148 Look, I'd love to help, but it's an apology cake for my wife. 246 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:56,943 I called her sister "shrill" and then tried to defend my point. 247 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,278 Way to go, Jeff. 248 00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,302 Sir. 249 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,122 Hi. Sir, uh, today is my best friend Victor's birthday. 250 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,666 This cake is his favorite dessert in the whole wide world. 251 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,902 So, is there any chance you'd be willing to take a different cake? 252 00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:16,462 No. 253 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,465 Well, I'm, uh, I'm sorry you feel that way. 254 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:22,218 Lake, run. I said run! Go, go, go! 255 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,322 - Felix, what are you doing? - Hurry, hurry! 256 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:31,144 - And my dad is president of a university. - Oh, wow! 257 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,104 Que fancy. 258 00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,565 You really struck the jackpot, niño. 259 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:39,944 Isabel, did you know that Mia used to summer in Barcelona? 260 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,178 So I've heard. 261 00:12:45,057 --> 00:12:46,784 Excuse me. 262 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,163 No, no. Not today. 263 00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:52,332 Not today, Pilar! 264 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:55,108 Why do you let her play that devil music in your house? 265 00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:58,963 I just screamed, "Not today, Pilar." 266 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,715 It is her brother's birthday, 267 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:03,367 and you can't even get her to come out of her room? 268 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,995 Well, I could go talk to her, if you want. 269 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,873 Sure. Have at it. 270 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:14,938 - Do you get paid? - Just in tips and free bar nuts. 271 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,566 I bet you guys are cleaning up with the ladies. 272 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,260 Uh, no. Not really. 273 00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:24,280 Actually, we are‐‐ Too busy. 274 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,492 Between music and school, 275 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,351 who has the time to date? 276 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:33,540 I'm gonna get my drink. 277 00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:34,666 Hey. Hmm? 278 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,526 Have you ever heard of Frank Sinatra? Now that's music. 279 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,072 Y‐you didn't have to do that. 280 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,247 I'm wearing heels! Come on! 281 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:55,979 I cannot believe you did that. It was like, straight out of a movie! 282 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,897 I know. We were like Bonnie and Clyde. 283 00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:02,026 But seriously, though, I think my heart is going to explode. Here. Feel. 284 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:12,370 Um, okay, well, it looks like the coast is clear, 285 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,706 so we should probably get back to the party, 286 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,208 and pray there are more guests. 287 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:20,694 I'm on the prowl for a spontaneous hottie, so... 288 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,206 She sent you in here? 289 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,792 - Coward. - Uh, actually, I volunteered. 290 00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:39,230 Do you mind if I turn this... 291 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,756 So, um, Victor 292 00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:44,343 told me what happened with your mom and dad. 293 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,762 Yeah. I'm sorry, Pilar. 294 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:53,286 I know it's not the same, but 295 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,580 when my parents started going through their shit, 296 00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,917 uh, let's just say there wasn't enough angry music in the world 297 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,318 - that would have made me feel better. - Yeah. 298 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:07,407 This thing my mom did back in Texas 299 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,369 it ruined everything. 300 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,414 I mean, my family's always been lame. 301 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:19,479 But before this, we were kind of happy. 302 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,213 It's pretty terrible, isn't it? 303 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,443 When you realize your parents 304 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,695 don't actually have it all together. 305 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:30,532 That they're actually just pretending 306 00:15:30,556 --> 00:15:32,784 they know what they're doing for our sake. 307 00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:35,703 Well, the good ones bother pretending. 308 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,021 My mom didn't. 309 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:42,901 Hmm. 310 00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:51,177 - Can we just go, please? - Come on. It's his birthday. 311 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,763 I don't care. Benji, I'm not pretending to be straight 312 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,306 for some homophobic old man. 313 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,684 Can you not right now? 314 00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,310 God. 315 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:02,939 Dear Victor, 316 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,650 sounds like your family is very lucky to have you. 317 00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:09,362 I wish I had a pancake‐making fixer in my life. 318 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:10,780 One thing, though. 319 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:14,075 Your messages have all been about things going smoothly for your family, 320 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:17,287 and not for you. But you're dealing with a lot, Victor. 321 00:16:17,311 --> 00:16:19,581 Your conservative grandfather. 322 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:23,400 Mia meeting your parents. Benji in your house with his boyfriend. 323 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,962 I guess what I'm saying is, 324 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:29,799 sometimes it's easier to focus on fixing other people 325 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,676 than on your own stuff. 326 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,554 Look, it just made me feel uncomfortable. 327 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:38,207 I know. I'm sorry. Okay? 328 00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:40,167 Okay. 329 00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:51,970 - I don't want to fight anymore, okay? - Same. 330 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,542 Hey. Where are we on the cake? 331 00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,818 Uh, Felix texted. It's on the way. 332 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,006 Um, I just talked to Pilar. 333 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,133 I think maybe she might join the party soon. 334 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:14,201 That's awesome. Thank you. 335 00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:16,387 Yes, thanks. 336 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:20,016 No problem. I just talked to her. 337 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,352 One angsty teen girl to another. 338 00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:31,426 Is your mom always so, um... so prickly? 339 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:35,198 I'm sorry. She's having a bad day. 340 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,950 Hey, Victor, a word? 341 00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:38,308 Uh, yeah. 342 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,167 Hey. Is everything okay? 343 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:50,571 Tito just saw your two friends, the, uh, guys in the band, kissing. 344 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:53,407 Uh... 345 00:17:55,826 --> 00:17:58,513 That's because 346 00:17:58,537 --> 00:18:01,290 they're... together. 347 00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,894 You need to tell them not to do that here. 348 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,837 What if your little brother sees them? 349 00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:11,967 Victor, just... please. It's a family party. 350 00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:17,306 Please, son. 351 00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:31,195 No! 352 00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:36,092 I'm sorry, Papi. I really wanted today to go smoothly, but 353 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,011 those are my friends. 354 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,638 I'm not gonna tell them not to be who they are if that bothers you. 355 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,540 That's your problem. Not theirs, and not mine. 356 00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:48,128 This is how you teach your son to speak to his abuelo? 357 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,193 Yeah. It is. 358 00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:54,903 I raised him to be true to himself, 359 00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:57,447 and to stand up for the people that he cares about. 360 00:18:57,471 --> 00:19:00,992 And since we're being true to ourselves, 361 00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,769 my tres leches cake was garbage, so I threw it out. 362 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,207 Not that it would have impressed you, anyway. 363 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,626 I do my best, Natalia, every day. 364 00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:13,171 That's all I can do, and I am sorry if it is not enough. 365 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:15,256 No, no. It's more than enough. 366 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,342 Isabel is amazing, 367 00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:20,911 and she's raising our kids to be good, decent people. 368 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,831 You need to give her a break. 369 00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:27,709 Lo siento, pero... 370 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,629 It's hard for us, that's all. 371 00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:32,607 Everything is changing. 372 00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:35,235 This is not the world we grew up in. 373 00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:38,571 Our grandkids can barely speak Spanish. 374 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:42,450 Boys kissing boys instead of girls? 375 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:45,912 It seems like everything that matters to us 376 00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,271 is disappearing. 377 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,958 Including you, mijo. 378 00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:54,045 We just don't understand why you had to move so far away. 379 00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:55,737 I can tell you why. 380 00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:58,282 Pilar, please. 381 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,662 It was better for our family. 382 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,724 You, of all people, should understand that. 383 00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,667 That's why you left Colombia. 384 00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:21,531 Ice! 385 00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:23,950 Ice! 386 00:20:23,974 --> 00:20:26,411 - Oh, come on, Dad. Do us! - Do us, do us! 387 00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:28,163 - Ice! Ice! - I'm melting! 388 00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,123 I'm melting. Come on! 389 00:20:30,147 --> 00:20:31,624 I got your power! 390 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:35,920 Ice! Ice! Ice! Ice! Ice! Ice! 391 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:38,423 I'm freezing everybody! 392 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:41,783 - He got me! - Aah! I got you! 393 00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:49,708 I thought you could, uh, use some help. 394 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,337 Thank you. Yeah. 395 00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:58,091 I don't know what I'm doing. 396 00:20:58,884 --> 00:21:02,739 Um, it's, it's been a while since I've been around, 397 00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:04,640 you know, a mom. 398 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,871 Being around you, uh, 399 00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:12,040 it's hard for me. 400 00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:14,816 Because it reminds me of what I've lost. 401 00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:19,672 But you're Victor's favorite person, so I've been trying to push past that, 402 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:24,493 and make a good impression for him. 403 00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:30,415 So, um, yeah. That's all. 404 00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:34,461 Do you know... 405 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:38,048 It's funny, isn't it? 406 00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:42,695 I swore to myself a thousand times 407 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:46,473 that I would never, ever be like my mother‐in‐law. 408 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:52,080 And then my son brings home his first girlfriend, and 409 00:21:52,104 --> 00:21:53,897 I'm cold as ice. 410 00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:55,876 I know... 411 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:58,002 Mothers and their sons. 412 00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:00,904 We love them so much, no one else stands a chance. 413 00:22:02,823 --> 00:22:04,157 Thank you. 414 00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:07,512 For talking to Pilar. 415 00:22:07,536 --> 00:22:09,496 It was my pleasure, Mrs. Salazar. 416 00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:13,518 You know what? You can just call me Isabel. 417 00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:15,478 Um, yeah. Isa‐Okay. Isabel. 418 00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:17,337 Great. 419 00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:20,674 We're gonna head out. 420 00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:24,904 Derek turns into a pumpkin if he's not watching reality TV by 10:00. 421 00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:28,932 I, I'm sorry, Benji. 422 00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:32,829 Coming out was really hard for me, Victor. 423 00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:35,105 And it's still hard for me to be who I am. 424 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:40,128 I know. And for the record, 425 00:22:40,152 --> 00:22:42,905 I think who you are is, is pretty great. 426 00:22:45,616 --> 00:22:47,343 I hope you like my present. 427 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:48,845 Hey, everybody. Cake time! 428 00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:08,430 Come on, Victor. Make a wish. 429 00:23:23,737 --> 00:23:25,239 Happy birthday, man. 430 00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:30,869 Hey. Hey. 431 00:23:32,454 --> 00:23:34,706 What? 432 00:23:35,707 --> 00:23:37,352 Thank you for today. 433 00:23:37,376 --> 00:23:41,898 For trying so hard with my little sister, and my mom. 434 00:23:41,922 --> 00:23:44,025 Of course. 435 00:23:44,049 --> 00:23:45,676 That's what girlfriends do. 436 00:23:46,802 --> 00:23:49,346 I mean, not that, not that I'm your... 437 00:23:49,972 --> 00:23:53,034 Oh, my God. Okay, I am just gonna go stuff my mouth with cake, 438 00:23:53,058 --> 00:23:55,352 - so that I can't talk. - Mia, stop. 439 00:23:57,771 --> 00:24:00,566 Of course you're my girlfriend. 440 00:24:02,693 --> 00:24:07,030 Thank God. That was almost really embarrassing. 441 00:24:18,667 --> 00:24:20,353 Um, cake? Cake, yeah. 442 00:24:20,377 --> 00:24:22,272 Yeah, cake. 443 00:24:22,296 --> 00:24:24,941 Dear Simon, against the odds, 444 00:24:24,965 --> 00:24:28,051 I think my party actually brought my family closer together. 445 00:24:28,844 --> 00:24:31,781 But you might be right. 446 00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:35,684 Focusing on their problems is way easier than focusing on my own. 447 00:24:41,273 --> 00:24:44,026 My brother asked me to make wish tonight, and. 448 00:24:45,903 --> 00:24:49,531 I didn't even know how to put what I want into words. 449 00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:55,287 But I guess if I had to try, 450 00:24:57,331 --> 00:25:00,685 I wish that 16 will be the year 451 00:25:00,709 --> 00:25:02,729 I finally figure out what I want. 452 00:25:05,005 --> 00:25:06,274 Hey, flaco. Hey. 453 00:25:06,298 --> 00:25:08,884 - Can we talk? - Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure. 454 00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:13,656 Um, the way you spoke to Tito at the party‐. 455 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,932 I, I'm sorry. 456 00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:17,160 I didn't mean to raise my voice. 457 00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:18,560 Oh, no. No, no. 458 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:22,707 I should be saying sorry. Um 459 00:25:22,731 --> 00:25:26,002 I'm proud of you for standing up to him. 460 00:25:26,026 --> 00:25:29,071 Uh, I was never great at that. 461 00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:33,134 You know, when I was a kid, he was hard on me. 462 00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:36,429 It was always, "Do better in school. Run faster in soccer." 463 00:25:36,453 --> 00:25:39,248 I was always so desperate for his approval. 464 00:25:40,207 --> 00:25:42,435 I still am. 465 00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,646 Anyway, um, 466 00:25:44,670 --> 00:25:47,690 what you said about those boys, 467 00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:49,484 you were brave, 468 00:25:49,508 --> 00:25:51,301 and, uh, I agree. 469 00:25:51,969 --> 00:25:54,906 It's their lives. They can do what they want. 470 00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,783 Really? Yeah. 471 00:25:56,807 --> 00:26:01,162 I mean, I guess I just never knew how you felt about... that. 472 00:26:01,186 --> 00:26:04,314 What business is it of mine what some boys in your school are up to? 473 00:26:04,898 --> 00:26:06,000 Right? Yeah. 474 00:26:08,777 --> 00:26:10,505 I just hope that Tito's wrong, 475 00:26:10,529 --> 00:26:12,865 and your little brother doesn't turn out that way. 476 00:26:13,657 --> 00:26:16,177 Anyway, I love you. Happy birthday, mijo. 477 00:26:16,201 --> 00:26:17,762 Love you, too. 36168

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